Reviewed by Devon TorreY Bry- ant...... 14 reviewed by Kristin King.....17 These Shoes Fit reviewed by Heather McHale 17 Perfectly: The reviewed by William Forbes. 18 Doctor Comes to San Reviewed by Jamie Beckwith19 Reviewed by Leslie McMurtry Francisco 20 Art/photos and text By Steven Sautter...... 4 The Unbearable Portrait of a Hero of Lightness of Being the WorlD By Lee Wells...... 4 By George Jackson...... 5 Umbrella Fiction By Matthew Kilburn...4 Season 10 It's World And Reviews We're All Living In It? Reviewed by Aya By Melissa Beattie...... 30 Vandenbussche...... 7 reviewed by Jamie Beckwith..8 The reviewed by Jacob Burger...... 9 Vainglorious? reviewed by Jon Arnold...... 10 By Jamie Beckwith...... 4 reviewed by Steven Sautter. 11 PDA for the PDAs reviewed by Aya Vanden- bussche...... 12 By Nick Mellish...42 reviewed by Lee Wells...... 13

The Terrible Zodin How to Make a Fanzine

EDITOR’S NOTE by Leslie McMurtr This has been a difficult editor’s note to write. For a long time, I was thinking was 44 going to be the last one—at least the last one I was editing, or before took a hiatus. Finding time to devote to even an occasional Dimensions in issue grows more and more challenging. The Facebook group is thriving, so I’ve fre- Time, or a Reflection quently wondered if the pros of maintaining the magazine continue to outweigh the cons. Of on an Unpublished the “fanzine renaissance” of 2008, very few titles are still going. Review Yet I’ve enjoyed this latest season of more than many in recent times. By Tom Bowyer....48 Also, in preparation for a podcast interview with Tin Pod, I re-read the Fanzine Rack in Paul Castle’s Doctor Who - a Hero , of course, inspired , and re-reading what I’d said in the book, and for the Boys (and what other fanzine editors had said, made me think that perhaps the hours and hours spent on had been worth it. In any case, I’m the girls) planning to soldier on for a few more issues at By Jamie Beckwith...... 50 least, to bring us up to our 10th anniversary (!) in November 2018. Enough about that. As usual, we have some excellent stuff to read this issue and some very classy art (much of it created by Steven Sautter!). I was shocked that for quite awhile we didn’t have any pieces on , but in the end we managed to get a few words on the subject. I hope you will enjoy this issue of

Thanks for reading! I remain, your editor, Leslie McMurtry

The Terrible Zodin 3 These Shoes Fit Perfectly: Comes to San Francisco

Art/photos and text By Steven like, . . . they were schoolteachers in the ‘60s. Sautter And they’d be like (holds hands out in placating gesture and looking confused) “What’s happened? Why are people so rude about each other all When the Doctor talks, you . And so it the time?” I think they’d really be shocked by was as hundreds of people packed into a hall in the world and (gestures at himself) by the San Francisco’s Moscone Center to hang on Doctor! (laughs) There are so many [compan- ’s every word. He came out to a ions] and one doesn’t like to . . . I think standing ovation, every bit the suave rock star Tegan’s pretty amazing. . I think we know him to be. His talk covered a wide there’s something fun about her. Maybe it’s range of topics from his acting methods to because she’s Australian! It was very unusual whether he wants to follow in Hugh Laurie’s for the Doctor to have companions who footprints and start a band (“No!”). Sadly, I was weren’t British! So I think Tegan would be fab, unable to get all the questions so here are some yeah. edited highlights. A fan got up and said “Peter, you’ve given us Q: Would you be interested in coming back fans so much pleasure over the years, I wanted not just as the Doctor but as a different charac- to do something for you.” At which point he ter? pulled out a handmade TARDIS shaped ukule- Capaldi: Technically yes, but I think it’s proba- le or “Gitardis” as the moderator put it. Peter bly time for me not to be around was visibly touched by the gift and plunked out for awhile. There’s a whole new thing happen- a few notes. “That’s a really nice ukulele,” he ing, so I think it’s better if I stay in my said. timestream! Q: Were there any old monsters you wanted to A woman wearing a goat’s head got up to ask a see in the show? question, and Peter was very ex- PC: I always bring this up and peo- cited. “It’s the Daemon Azal!” He ple, I think, disbelieve it slightly, but was so excited, he didn’t even I just love the idea of . . . You know, focus on the question at hand! in the old days when they made they had no money at Q: What old companions would all and they made a show that lasted you like to have met? 54 years with no money and under PC: I think I’d like to bring back a lot of pressure and sometimes Ian and Barbara. (cheers from the with people not caring about it. And audience) Because they were so, the reason it’s lasted 54 years was

The Terrible Zodin 4 that they filled it with the Zarbest? Oh that imagination. Some- the best t-shirt ever!” I times they didn’t have was too excited to tell the wherewithal to de- him I designed it liver what their imagi- myself1. On that high nation was telling note, we said goodbye them, what it wanted and went to go squee them to do. And when outside. they did the old classic show “ Z ,” it was an insect planet. They had no money, they had no time, so they made a planet full of ants, moths, and termites, which were just made of cloth and fiberglass, and tight trousers, bits of cotton wool and stuff. But I saw it when I was a child, and it burned itself into my imagina- tion. It lifted my imagination. So would have always liked us to go back to the Web Planet Portrait of a and seen the Menoptra and the Zarbi. If we could have made that with our technology the Hero of the way they wanted to make it originally. Yeah. World By George Jackson

The early 21st century had seen turmoil across the globe: radicalized terrorist attacks, famine, poverty and humanity’s first fleeting encoun- ters with hostile extra-terrestrial life, which had led to much destruction (though curiously localized in the main to ). The worst of this despair was the year when nobody could die, and that in conjunc- After holding court, Peter went back down- tion with the dragging the planet half- stairs for his photo ops. We were quite lucky way across the stars and Cybermen behind to be among the first to get our picture taken. every sofa, everyone was convinced the end of He gave both me and my wife hugs and then the world would come through an exchange of we posed. He noticed I was wearing a rather nuclear war, with Turmezistan being the likely unusual shirt. “Hey, is that . . .?” he asked. Yes, flashpoint. it was a Zarbi shirt. “What’s it say? Zarbi are But then out of the darkness came a 1 For your own Zarbi are the Zarbest shirt, visit hero. The world need a plain-speaking figure https://www.redbubble.com/people/kryten4k/works/2479 who could make great again, and that 9337-zarbi-are-the-zarbest?asc=u . hero was Ramon Salamander.

The Terrible Zodin 5 Salamander came from a very humble then redirecting it in controlled concentrated background. Born on 25 March 1968 in Meri- bursts at the Earth in a way that increased crop da, Yucatan to Alejandro Salamander and Olga growth by almost 500%. The global economy Rocca, Ramon was an exceptionally brilliant was transformed, and within a matter of years boy who showed a clear aptitude for the scienc- the turbulence of the early part of the century es. In 1987 he attended Universidad Autonoma was firmly forgotten as famine and hunger Chapingo in Texoco where he graduated with became a thing of the past. It’s unsurprising, first class honors in Agricultural Ecology. Stu- therefore, that Ramon Salamander swept to dents who were also there at the time recall victory as the first elected representative of Salamander as a charismatic but extremely Mexico to the World Zones Authority, with studious man, some would even say a workahol- many across the globe expressing their surprise ic. Salamander was passionately involved in that he did not stand for Controller of the student politics and a tireless campaigner Central American Zone. Many felt this was against child illiteracy. evident of Salamander’s modesty, though it was These passions bought Salamander to somewhat at odds with his meteoric rise. His the attention of the UN’s Food and Agriculture official biographer, Cole Hawlings, stated Sala- Organization, where he worked first in the mander had indeed considered running for regional office for Latin America and the Car- Controller but felt that, having not stood for ibbean in Santiago, Chile, where he led a task office before, a cautious approach was warrant- force that coordinated programs for sustaina- ed. This did not last, however, as a movement ble fishing throughout the continent. Salaman- swept across social media platforms urging der’s work ethic and organizational skills, Salamander to stand for the position of WZA second only to his excellent and persuasive Controller in Chief. It was around this time he oratory, saw him become a rising star of the earned the nickname the Shopkeeper of the FAO. At the age of 29, he became the youngest World, and statues of him as the man who ever Deputy Director General at the FAO eliminated global hunger appeared across the headquarters in Rome. It was Salamander who globe. was an advocate of greater interdepartmental With the next election approaching, cooperation between UN agencies and in many Salamander has remained curiously tight-lipped ways was one of the founding fathers of the about his intentions. I, for one, and millions movement which saw the UN transform in to agree with me, hope he will stand, for he is today’s World Zone Authority. truly a hero for our time. In 2003, Ramon Salamander married the love of his life, Katalin Meszaro. Meszaro was Z a diplomat at the Hungarian embassy in Rome and the two had met at a formal reception. Though malicious rumors appeared in the tabloid press of an affair between Salamander and a member of his household staff, Fariah Neguib, these were never taken seriously by those in the know. Salamander was devastated when Meszaro died in 2013. Salamander’s name became famous in 2005 when he successfully launched the first of the Sun-Catcher satellites. A surprisingly sim- ple concept, the satellites acted as giant solar panels, absorbing energy from the sun and

The Terrible Zodin 6 2015, at the end of which the Doctor takes a twenty-four-year break from saving Earth and Doctor Who the universe, to be with River before she goes off to her last adventure with a Doctor that Season 10 doesn’t know her, and to her death. The deci- sion to push back the tenth series and not have Reviews any series between the two Christmas specials almost accents this lengthy absence of the Doctor. We had a wide range of lengths for the reviews. Upon his return to Earth, the Doctor Those who asked were told 500 words, but we visits Manhattan and builds a contraption on received reviews significantly longer than that. I young Grant’s roof to fix a mistake he made. Is apologize for any inconvenience. Also, I would he trying to fix what happened to Amy and like to stress that the review assignment was com- Rory in “ ”? Is he pletely random, as it is each issue. –ED. trying to bring back the people he lost follow- ing the loss of River? While it is a mostly light-hearted story, there is a sad undertone to it, conveyed rather tenderly by Peter Capaldi’s superb and subtle acting and the candour with which Nardole explains to Grant and Lucy at the end of the story why the Doctor is sad. Wonderfully portrayed by , Nardole returns to the TARDIS when the Doctor puts him back together after the events of the “ .” Lucas looks like he is really enjoying himself, and he makes Nardole a gentle but compelling keeping the Doctor company, but also, despite his apparent cowardice, he watches over him, something that would develop beautifully in series ten. The story of the alien invasion via brain swap feels more like a McGuffin and not a “The Return of Doctor particularly one at that. The aliens seem Mysterio” to be a version or a sect of the same aliens to whom River tries to sell the diamond in “ Reviewed by Aya ,” but while the reveal Vandenbussche of the room full of brains is effectively scary “ ” is not the (and brings to mind ’s arch nemesis most Christmas-y Christmas special of ), the actual aliens and their plans for . Instead, it is a superhero-comic-book- Earth do not deliver on that promise, unfortu- romcom with Christmas only as a side note, nately. Being brain-swapping aliens, I’d have which as a non-Christian, non-religious viewer, hoped they would be a bit more intelligent. I found rather refreshing amid all the mistletoe, The real story, however, is of course that tinsel, magic and Christmas spirit. of Grant Gordon, a lovely debut from Logan This story comes a year after “ Hoffman as the young Grant, Daniel Lorente ,” Christmas special from as teen Grant and Justin Chatwin as the adult Art by Steven Sautter The Terrible Zodin 7 Art by Angel Saquero Grant, the boy who got like , the his wish and became a Ghost wears a mask superhero—and his love and changes his interest, the bubbly jour- voice, it makes more nalist Lucy Lombard sense that she doesn’t (Charity Wakefield). In recognise him as case you missed the trib- Grant, whereas Lois ute to Clark Lane of the films, Kent/Superman and Lois whose journalistic Lane, at the beginning of abilities I seriously the episode Grant and the question, can’t recog- Doctor flick through a nize a person the comic book minute he puts on (1986 John Byrne’s glasses (to be fair to , according to the the fran- Internet), and the names chise, at least in of Seigel and Shuster, cre- they have ators of , (gen- created a clever, in- der-swapped) are casually vestigative young dropped. “ Lois who had to be ” shows a lot unconscious a lot in of affection towards com- order to make it be- ic book superheroes, specifically towards Su- lievable that she doesn’t figure out Clark has perman and even more specifically towards the super powers, and the new films first two Christopher Reeves film, have dispensed with the whole thing, Lois in on from quotes, outfits and mannerisms (glasses, the secret right from the start). which I thought were very well used, big G on “ ” (the the suit, required gay gag, and Grant being title for which comes from , “mild mannered” and clumsy like Clark Kent), the Mexican title for , which Peter through to the tradition of Superman as well as Capaldi reportedly loved) might not be as later Stan Lee giving the main characters’ Christmas-y, at least not in the traditional way, alliterative names, like , Lana Lang but it is full of childish joy, which is uncommon in the Superman comic, Stan Lee’s characters for Capaldi era, and in the end childish joy is Peter Parker, Bruce Banner and many more. all part of Christmas. To eventually referencing the scene from the first film on Lois Lane’s balcony, Lucy even asks the Ghost if he eats, just like “” Lois does in the aforementioned scene. reviewed by Jamie Beckwith Lucy Lombard, charmingly played by I’ll be honest, for some reason, I just haven’t Wakefield, is a truly great tribute to her comic gotten into the era. I can’t put book counterpart, Lois Lane, and is even an my finger on what it is. It’s definitely not Peter improvement on the films. Her questioning Capaldi’s portrayal of the Doctor. There have technique, using Mr Huffle to get the Doctor been some really great stories, especially “ to talk, is funny and inspired. Unlike Lois Lane ” and “ ” The of the films, played by Margot Kid- episodes are visually stunning. But I’m just not der, Lucy is nice to Grant, the nanny, and feeling it. values his non-superheroic qualities, and since,

The Terrible Zodin 8 So it was that I approached “ ” absolutely fine as the whole point is getting to with something similar to apprehension. know , and through her getting to Would I like it? hadn’t been on know the Doctor again. There’s plenty of mys- the air for a regular season in nearly 18 months tery and intrigue along the way, and the scene (luckily, no novelty single was released this where Bill confronts “Barry” in the shower is time round). Luckily “ ” did what it extremely creepy and suspenseful. The crush said on the tin, it served as a soft reboot, which on Heather is realistic, despite their relatively introduced a new companion and a new focus short time together onscreen; crushes are born for the Doctor, recast as a reluctant guardian of intense moments and wither or bloom de- to a missy-sterious thing in a vault. pending on what happens next. (Incidentally, This is ’s show. She nails Bill and Heather? Intentional Hartnell refer- the part of Bill Potts instantly, and it’s through ence?) her that we get to explore the world of the Ultimately, as with all good Doctor anew. We get to see the mysterious , there’s a twist that feels satisfying. It’s blue box, we get to see the enigma of the perhaps a theme somewhat overused by Steven Doctor, the strangeness of the company he Moffat, that of technology spinning out of keeps and this is all before we even get to the control and following a course of action, not mystery of the vault or a sentient puddle. through malevolence but through blind pro- One of my favorite lines is Bill noting graming (this explains his obsession with Cy- she tries to look enigmatic but her face keeps bermen). The titular Pilot just wanted to get doing expressions. It’s so true, we can’t help away, rather than to necessarily harm anybody, but be seduced as the audience by every twitch and the pursuit of Bill was the passionate last of that expressive face; awe, wonder, bewilder- thought of the victim, rather than an evil plan. ment, skepticism, fear. My second favorite line If you wanted to introduce a friend to is when the Doctor notes that when most for the very first time, then of people don’t know something they frown, he’s course “ ,” “ ,” and “ noticed her because when she doesn’t know ” are all great candidates. But something, she smiles. If that’s not a mission equally you could do far worse than start with statement for , the joy of exploring the cheeky title “ ” the unknown, then I don’t know what is. The Doctor is in something of a self- imposed . Accompanied by Nardole, he is guarding something dangerous in a vault. Hav- “” ing now seen the whole season as I write this reviewed by Jacob Burger review I know what it is, so will just note my Ah, “ ,” the classic companion depar- disappointment that it wasn’t something new as ture story that wasn't, with its Moffat-esque I’d hoped. Having the Doctor in lecturer mode companion-as-a-child motif taken to the ex- is interesting; it’s a role which quite suits him. treme, and a lovely performance by Sophie Despite his wanderlust, he has an air of com- Ald— What's that? Not that “ ?” fort, having resigned himself to his role as Oh. Hmm. guardian of the vault. In many ways he is Ah, “ ,” that classic companion following in the footsteps of Professor Chrono- departure story that wasn't, with its Moffat- tis, and I’ve no doubt Big Finish are already esque time-rewriting-around-a-companion, and cooking up storylines to cover the Doctor’s 70 a lovely performance by Pearl Mackie. Pete, (if not more) years at St. Luke’s. you would be missed. If you were remembered. The antagonist of this episode doesn’t Obvious jokes aside, this was a good-but- really take hold until quite late, but that’s not-great episode in a season of good-but-not-

The Terrible Zodin 9 greats. It's the traditional Nu first “histor- conspicuous diversity, probably the best bal- ical” adventure for still-new companion Bill ance possible for the episode. Generic Angry Potts, and a character focus piece for her Racist Sutcliffe entirely lacks depth, of course, relationship with the Doctor. One of her stand- and the “monster” is similarly underwritten, out scenes is as she comes to grips with the but these are acceptable in an episode in which reality of death in these adventures; the con- neither is truly the focus. With regard to the trast between her emotional reaction and that “monster,” the effects and direction are some- of the desensitized Doctor, a wonderful and what disappointing, as it's difficult to get a typically-understated portrayal by Capaldi, sense of scale or position for the creature breaks new ground in an old patch. The writing throughout the episode. here, as she incredulously responds to the Speaking of disappointing, this series’ Doctor’s “I move on,” and then reaches the second companion, Nardole, is barely in the same point herself later in the episode, is episode, and his scene is transparently append- strong, and the episode is on the whole quippy ed to remind us of the series arc. Given that and well-written in what is becoming the Sarah “it's ” was the obvious answer to the Dollard style. question, I do wish they had made the “four The obligatory “Give me an order” mo- knocks” moment clearer at the end. ment is, typically, forced and somewhat unfair, Despite my gripes, this was a solid epi- but the teacher-student dynamic of the two sode with a really remarkable set of lead actors, leads gives it a bit more strength than usual. both clearly having the time of their lives (The episode’s nearest connection to the afore- making the show. mentioned story, which fea- tures ’s other famous professor-pupil relationship.) The ways in which “” Bill begins to reflect the Doctor reviewed across the episode are interesting, by Jon as she catches on and joins in with the “Pete” jokes at the beginning, Arnold learns to move on in order to help If there’s one others, and also tries to be hip with defining sin of th ’s the 19 century kids (“Cute as!”), time on even while criticizing the Doctor , it’s been for it. Capaldi’s interactions with ambition: Mof- the kids are, as usual, a small high- fat’s relentless light, as he reads them an . . . desire to test unconventional . . . bedtime story how far the (and an anachronistic one, as the show’s format terrifying original can bend (and was published in 1845). occasionally Of course, we have to talk Art by Orchideacae break). It’s re- about the episode’s handling of the sulted in some truly extraordi- race issue. The script skirts onto nary stories and occasionally in fascinating thin ice here, but it manages to strike a level of misfires. Where it’s perhaps been at its weakest sensitivity famously not displayed in Series 3, is in how Moffat’s played with the role of the while keeping the story from grinding to a halt. companion, moving them from our view on the Capaldi’s Doctor doesn't brush off his compan- Doctor’s universe to an enigma to fascinate the ion’s concern, but the past is also cast with —Amy with her crack and Clara’s

The Terrible Zodin 10 Art by Nia-Nita Impossible Girlhood. In contrast to the ‘70s, the unusual archi- era, these companions tecture of the City of have hung around, too—whereas each of Arts and Sciences in Davies’ seasons had different TARDIS Valencia fully exploit- crews, Moffat has seemed reluctant to ed. It’s refreshing to move companions on, with both the have a modern Ponds and Clara hanging around for story which deliberate- two-and-a-half seasons each. The lack of ly eschews running a different dynamic has perhaps result- through corridors in ed in the perception of the Moffat era favor of fully exploring having a certain stasis about it, with rare its ideas and setting. injections of fresh blood to pep up audience Essentially, “ ” is a brighter version interest. Neither Amy nor Clara seemed to have of “ ” crossed with “ a particular sense of excitement at seeing the ,” right down to a line comparing universe even to begin with, though they always the effect of the nanobots gone wrong to a good way with a one-liner. In short, for all plague. That inclusion of a satirical element Moffat remains miraculously adept with big means it’s sharper than Moffat’s Eccleston ideas after all these years in charge, the series story in one respect: it’s bitterly critical about perhaps lost its sense of wonder. societal pressure to always be upbeat and smil- Where Pearl Mackie’s performance in ing even when we’re not feeling that way. It “ ” and Peter Capaldi’s mellow, more also questions exploitation of creatures that roguish turn suggested we had that back, can’t answer back (as did “ ”), “ ” is an episode almost solely dedicated to setting up a questioning of capitalism that runs reminding us that part of ’s innate through the next few stories. Perhaps the only charm is showing us some wonder. Where he’s big fault is beyond its control: it’s a second almost revolutionary is in deriving that wonder straight story based on the threat of technology from modern science: where that educational going wrong. More importantly, though, with bent might have supposedly been part of Mackie’s engaging performance bringing the ’s original remit, in practice the suc- fun and Capaldi’s Doctor becoming the philos- cess of Terry Nation’s pulp SF meant that the opher-scientist he’d initially envisaged, “ ” educational aspect was minimized fairly swiftly continues “ ”’s charm offensive. (unsurprising, as well-meaning education was has its sense of wonder back. always a bad fit for Saturday night entertain- ment). Cottrell Boyce takes the cutting edge science of nanobots and swarm robotics to “” work out how humanity might progress in the reviewed by Steven Sautter future: here they’re a tool of . Every few years, does an episode Couple this with large chunks of the episode set in a spooky old house. There’s a very good being the Doctor and Bill exploring, and reason for this. Spooky houses are spooky. In there’s a definite feel of the first episode of a another series, “ ” might have Hartnell story: time given to stand and stare been a good episode, but in the middle of a run rather than running about frantically against a that, in this reviewer’s opinion, is the strongest cool backdrop. As in “ ” and since Season 25/26, it feels a little lightweight. “ ,” the future environ- This does not mean, however, that there is ment is a puzzle to be figured out. It helps that nothing to admire. it’s a visually beautiful episode harking back to David Suchet’s joy at playing against the cleaner futures of the late ‘60s and early type is palpable. He makes the most of a rather

The Terrible Zodin 11 generic role, and the emotional reveal at the for and there’s often a learning end is handled very well. With a lesser actor, it curve for writers who weren’t brought up in the would have you rolling your eyes. With Suchet, Church of Who. If this has a parallel to Season you believe he’s just a little boy who wants to 25/26, it is “ ,” a story we’ve seen save his mum. Is it the greatest performance of before and better, but still full of fun nuggets. his career? Not by a long chalk, but it’s darn good. The Doctor’s little pang of vanity at “” being called Bill’s grandfather is wonderful. It’s a tidy piece of writing and played beautifully. reviewed by Aya Capaldi continues to find nuances in his per- Vandenbussche formance, even in his final year. Has there been There is a bitter taste left at the end of “ a Doctor with such a range? There have been .” There is something rather anticlimactic funny Doctors, serious Doctors, angry Doctors, and almost disappointing in ’s (Mimi a few who could do it all, but nothing compared Ndiweni) cheerful request that the Doctor to to Capaldi. drop them off at head office “to make a com- As a rule, the domestic episodes of the plaint.” This hardly seems a fitting reaction to new series have not rung true. If you have all the murder of thirty-eight of her crewmates and of time and space at your disposal, why on the realization that hers and her crewmates’ Earth would you want to return to the hum- lives are non-profitable and expendable, espe- drum of your regular life? This grew to outland- cially disappointing coming from Abby, who ish extremes during the era, when throughout the episode was constantly angry. the companions wanted full-time employment And just to make the bitterness linger, the while taking the occasional trip with the Doc- episode continues to reveal that the Doctor’s tor. But with the set-up this series, it makes blindness is uncured; is it the regeneration perfect sense to explore Bill’s life outside the power he gave in “ TARDIS. The TARDIS is Earthbound, so of ” that prevents him from being able to course she needs to find a house to rent. The restore his sight in the TARDIS? Or some kind rabble of students is well-cast. They are exactly of cosmic punishment for neglecting to guard the sort of motley group one goes in with on the vault like he swore to do? For whatever student housing. And since none of them know reason, the Doctor is damaged by this adven- each other particularly well, when strange ture, and there is no sign that he will get better things begin to happen, they aren’t particularly any time soon. aware of it. The audience knows the cast is ’s fourth contribution being picked off one by one, because this is as a writer to --previous horror and that’s what happens. Therein lies credits included “ ,” “ our enjoyment. Which leads us back to light- ” and “ weight. ”—left me eagerly anticipating his return. It’s all too familiar. We’ve seen all these The famous opening line “Space, the before. Not only on , but final frontier . . .,” contrary to ’s optimism, elsewhere. Stealing from other sources is some- takes a slightly darker turn: “ ‘final’ because it thing that the show does very well, but with the wants to kill us . . .” From this opening line, most successful examples, there is a subversion the story is set up as a claustrophobic sci fi of the elements. There’s no subversion here. horror with zombies, or dead people who are We get a Scooby Doo joke that made being moved by artificially intelligent space- twenty years ago, and that’s about it. But re- suits, that draws from the classics like member that this is Mike Bartlett’s first script

The Terrible Zodin 12 and , and leaves you meta- count breaths with the characters, who are put phorically breathless in more ways than one. in the kind of stressful situation that would The Doctor, Bill and Nardole (finally naturally cause them to breathe more rapidly. getting to go on an adventure) arrive in a The horror factor has been turned up quite a mining space station where you have to pay for bit in the recent series, with more people dying oxygen and, as it turns out, life is dispensable in horrific ways like in “ ,” and even chil- once it has overstayed its usefulness. There dren aren’t spared in “ ” In his last have been several new and classic series, it seems that Moffat is choosing a grim- stories, “ ,” “ ,” mer and more political direction than usual, and many others, as well as and it works. It has made other sci fi works, that have the series (mid-series weird touched upon similar is- trilogy that simply didn’t sues. However, there is work, aside) feel stronger something extremely poign- and braver, and I have loved ant in “ ” that hits it. very close to home and has left a sense of deep despair in me. Recent political de- “” velopments all over the reviewed by Lee world give a grim and al- Wells most prophetic tone to this story and make me believe that using oxygen as a commodity is a fast- “Memories are so much worse in the dark.” approaching, devastating reality. Interestingly, unlike with Martha, whose When I reviewed “ ” last year, race was only brought up twice and as quite a I’m fairly certain I was unequivocal; I don't like cautious afterthought, Bill’s race and sexuality multi-parters in new . I gave a pithy (as are often referred to throughout the series as a Pertwee would no doubt say) explanation with constant presence not to be ignored. I have clear examples and an overarching rationale, recently listened to a four-year-old interview but Jamie and Leslie clearly didn't read the with and the influence that review from last year otherwise THEY and specifically the character Lt. WOULDN’T HAVE GIVEN ME ANOTHER Uhura (Nichelle Nichols), had on her. How PART ONE FOR THIS SEASON. before Lt. Uhura there were no black people in So, to the opening (and what turns out sci fi, and the future was white. She also point- to be the flashback, interspersed throughout ed out that people were more comfortable the episode). Why is it that in all iterations of seeing blue or silver people in the future than , the more advanced a culture, the more black people. I doubt that this interview was in medieval the trappings? What happened to the Mathieson’s or Steven Moffat’s minds, or that pure white tunics, the incomprehensibly pat- they even heard this interview, when writing terned jumpsuits and paper clothing of the this episode, but it was this thought that passed 1960s? Sigh, Clarke’s Law has a lot to answer through my mind when I watched Bill’s sur- for. prise at meeting the blue Dahh-ren for the first The flashbacked subplot starts off with a time. nice attempt at a bit of bait-and-switch. A long Political message aside, as a plot device, discourse on how to permanently kill a Time evaluating and quantifying oxygen is highly Lord while Our Hero is led to a place of effective and suspenseful as the viewers try to execution. Except, the Doctor can see (when

The Terrible Zodin 13 the “previously” clearly stated not three min- Once we’re all in the main plot, or the utes ago he was still blind) and of course the Vatican as most people know it, Bill and Nar- giveaway “A Long Time Ago” caption. So when dole stumble into a sort of dimensional hub Missy appears (the execution cult’s “rule” is that leads to different places, the Pentagon and that only another member of the species can CERN, where everyone is drinking at tables perform the execution), we know it’s her for loaded with explosives going off in five min- the chop. utes. The audience know these are explosives, Anyway, back to the present, as the because they’re usefully designed as Doctor sits outside the vault. The Sonic Sun- style dynamite sticks. glasses return, but now they’re more like Goog- The Doctor, in the meantime, is still le Glass (as an e-mail comes in with the subject trying to read the Veritas, which has been set header “Veritas”). And the titles kick in. up as a kind of Mindworm that destroys the We fade up to Cardinal Exposition and reader. Again, this is a nice conceit and under- his boss, the Pope, pitching up with a 950-year- explored as unexpectedly, it’s not really the old letter of recommendation. Blimey, Mr Co- focus. Because Nardole works out that the losanto’s done well for himself since he was is not much more than an interface into taken to an interment camp a few years back. simulated scenarios, and horrifyingly, that he’s Donna and Wilf will be pleased. Anyway, part of it. So the whole story plays with our Cardinal Exposition explains the plot describ- concepts of what’s real and what’s not real and ing the Veritas—a Mindworm which activates in the dénouement of the episode, which is well- the reading of a suppressed document which is done, if a tad telegraphed—but meet now out on the open. And we now have an -as- . unholy mish-mash (see what I did there?) of Overall, then, a simulation of an Earth , , invasion is an interesting conceit if done, to a and two other movies (which I’ll explain degree, back in 1975 with “ as we go—spoilers). .” This time, however, the Doctor and his Anyway, Bill. I like Bill. Short-lived friends aren’t observing the simulation, they though she may be with a reboot pending, she’s ARE the simulation. But I felt slightly disap- different and lively. And blindingly unlucky in pointed. The initial conceit mutated beyond the love ; there’s nothing more likely to what I was hoping for, and even though it’s not put off any amore than the Pope turning up in a traditional first-parter (as it doesn't have a your kitchen [or he could fly through the cliffhanger), it could’ve been treated more like bedroom window. –ED]. Even Clara got off the episode “ with Danny before he was killed. But I do like ” and the invasion left hanging for a the way Bill is always dropped into things from future appearance. a great height, and she nearly always copes with whatever’s thrown at her, through a combina- tion of practicality and common sense. So, other positives: during the interwo- ven flashbacks, we find out why Nardole is in “The Pyramid at the end of the the show (and he’s clearly been to the Library world” where the Tenth Doctor left River’s Diary) and Reviewed by Devon TorreY why (as most people had guessed) Missy is in the vault. Without Hope, Without Witness, Bryant Without Reward. Linguistically, very interest- I seem to have a tradition with my reviews ing that phrase; uses a tricolon and repetition. of being randomly assigned episodes to which, I wonder if that turns out to be important. despite the fact that I otherwise really like the

The Terrible Zodin 14 surrounding season, I am unable to give a but still, the story comes as a nice surprise thumbs up. when we realize what we’ve been looking at. It Series 10 was one of Moffat’s tightest, in might have been better to just leave it at that, the main, and certainly the strongest of Capal- unresolved like some other Moffat one-offs di’s tenure in the role. “ ” sets up a (“ ” springs to mind) where we simply great tutor/student relationship between the solve the current problem and walk away with- Doctor and Bill; we meet him as if this were the out learning too much about the antagonists. first episode of an entirely new television show Unfortunately, that’s not what happens and see through Bill’s eyes as she adjusts to his here, and “ weary, pragmatic, but optimistic worldview. ” gives us just enough detail about the The series is going gangbusters (barring the Monks to realize that we’re not particularly “undoing the weight of consequence” ending interested in them, nor frightened of them. If of “ ” but it’s not enough to really anything, they’re a bit confusing and annoying. hobble that otherwise quite creepy story), and The plan that they are enacting in this story then we reach The Monks Trilogy, of which (and it might be flattering them to call it a “ ,” co- plan) doesn’t really seem to have anything to do written by Moffat and , is the with the simulation we saw them run in “ center. ,” so it does sort of call into question why Not to put too fine a point on it, but the we needed that story at all. Essentially, they Monks are just rubbish antagonists. The first materialize their “5,000 year-old-pyramid” at the part of the trilogy, Moffat’s “ ,” works nexus point of a strategic border between the pretty well as a multi-layered puzzle-box of a Russian, Chinese and US armies (in the fiction- story, and I enjoyed how the Doctor’s blindness al country of Turmezistan, first seen in the remains from the previous story (a result of outstanding two-parter from Series 9), carrying Bill to safety through the vacuum of and then they proceed to ask for the consent of space unprotected during the fantastic “ the human race to rule them. This consent ”). It’s a too-rare example in Moffat must be pure, it can’t be out of strategy or fear, of actions having consequences which are it must be out of love, because “to rule through allowed to stick. Oh, but wait, that will be fear is inefficient.” magically undone at some point too, don’t Now, this is ridiculous in several ways. worry about that. Firstly, the Monks make a “ ” succeeds, point of showing the leaders of and the Monks seemed pretty their respective armies and the effective in it, because we Secretary-General of the Unit- learn very little about them. ed Nations a vision of the The whole story, it transpires, Earth as a dead planet in one is a virtual reality simulation of year’s time. If that’s not in- how they might take over the tended to scare them, I’m not Earth, and what obstacles they sure what it’s for. The actual may come up against. Yes, all event which they claim they the Pope business is a bit silly, will help prevent, if granted and the sonic sunglasses the loving consent of at least (though finally given some one human, concerns a genet- kind of story justification as a ically-modified bacteria, acci- result of the Doctor’s blind- dentally created in a lab by a ness) solve everything in an very hungover man because excessively convenient way, his fellow scientist-lady’s read- Art by RaRo81 The Terrible Zodin 15 ing glasses got accidentally broken. There’s member at St Luke’s University, in point of fact some nice portentous buildup in these lab he’s been there for like 75 years guarding Missy scenes, and the way the Doctor determines in the vault, so it should be fairly straightfor- which lab in the entire world the bacteria will ward to go find him. What is Nardole? I like be released from is neatly done (turning off all the character, don’t get me wrong, but is he a CCTV cameras in all labs and then zeroing in or a person or what? Cogs fall out of on the one which The Monks turn back on), him in “ ,” he’s apparently 237 years but it also seems odd that all the simulations old, and yet the bacteria affects him almost they have run essentially boil down to just instantly and he loses consciousness in the waiting around for one accidental bad thing to TARDIS. Moreover, why is the Doctor not happen. Why do they need the simulations at affected at all by the bacteria? I mean, I know all if they already know that the bacteria will be he’s not human, but neither are plants, and released? To ask that another way, why don’t they dissolve into gloopy nothingness on con- they just threaten the human race by saying tact with the fumes. The Doctor is organic, they’ll release a bacteria unless they are allowed shouldn’t it have SOME effect on him? Can I to conquer? Being all weirdly secretive about it at least get a science-fiction reason for why he’s is unnecessarily convoluted on a lot of levels. alright? Why does the explosion in the lab stop It’s not all bad. The opening, where the at that particular airlock door? What happens “previously on ” catch-up of events to Erica, who the Doctor seemed to like, but from “ ” is woven in as a story being who we never see again? And the Monks related by Bill to her date, Penny, is an econom- restoring the Doctor’s sight from side ical way of doing the “last week on” bit while of the world instantly is so close to magic that also getting the current plot moving. Bill is it makes you wonder why they need simulation great, as usual, and her decision, in the end, to computers anyway. consent to the Monks’ demands as a last-ditch And, I guess the biggest question mark effort to save the Doctor works very well (and of all, is why in the world Moffat thought the makes sense, given that he is about to die due extremely thin premise of the Monks and their to the blindness he is afflicted with as a result plan deserved to be stretched out over three of saving HER life). The Doctor is played by hours. There’s some nice design ideas in the Peter Capaldi with his usual level of snark and following episode, the otherwise unsatisfactory verve, and he has some terrific lines (I particu- “ ,” but ultimately their plan larly like the exchange of “Well, every trap you makes very little sense, their methods are overly walk into is a chance to learn about your complicated, and when they seem to be beaten enemies. Impossible to set a trap without mak- they just go “oh well, never mind” and pop off ing a self-portrait of your own weaknesses.” instantly to go try it somewhere else. For what? “Great. Unless it kills us.” “Well, you could say What do they want with ruling the planet that about anything.”) The effects shots are anyway? Again, a science fiction reason might very good, too, with the Monks crumbling have been nice (their planet is dying and they people and the hungover lab scientist melting need somewhere to live, or they feed off of into goo being very effective. obedience or . . . I dunno, anything really). But there are bits of it which are just so So, despite the fact that Series 10 is lame. The Doctor being “The President of otherwise excellent, with a good script from Earth in times of crisis”? That just does not (who knew?), a strong opener and sound coo, and should not have ever been a strong two-part finale from Moffat (albeit one referred to again outside of “ ” with yet another “get out of death free card” for And why does the UN grab Bill at her house to yet another companion), the center of the get to the Doctor? He’s known to be a faculty season is pretty much wasted on this tepid

The Terrible Zodin 16 Art by Steven Sautter trilogy of stories. I doubt that or version of good is not absolute. It’s very arro- any future show runner will feel inclined to gant and sentimental.” revisit the Monks, although I’m sure Big Finish It kind of is. But luckily, he has good could do their usual good deed in devising taste in companions. some situation for a weakly conceptualized adversary which actually makes sense of their motivations. “ ” is not the worst of the “” three (that would be “ ”), but it does undermine the good things about reviewed by Heather McHale “Extremis”, and is generally a bit of a waste of Full disclosure: Mark Gatiss’ installments of time. have never been my favorites. I hope that, next season, I get assigned Even setting aside the execrable “ one I really really like to review, so that I don’t ,” I have never warmed to his more popu- just seem like a Negative Nellie. lar episodes—“ ” or “

“” reviewed by Kristin King This episode is a satisfying conclusion to the Zombie Monk trilogy, with outstanding charac- ter development. I didn’t care for the premise, which seemed forced, or the Monks, who didn’t scare me but instead gave me a disturbing kind of under-the-skin repulsive sensation. But, overall, it’s one of my favorite episodes. Bill stole the show. When she explained her relationship with her dead mother to Nar- dole, so frankly and honestly, she came togeth- er as a real person, whole and complete. I had a deeper sense of her than I usually get with companions. Her reaction to the Doctor’s ap- parent betrayal of humanity to the Monks was also amazing. The Doctor played a chilling role as a mouthpiece for totalitarianism. When he faked giving up on humanity, it was frightening how convincing he was. It brought me back to some ,” for example. So I was both of my favorite moments with Patrick surprised and pleased by how much I enjoyed Troughton impersonating a villain. I wish I “ ,” his swan-song (probably) could say I was fooled, but the Doctor’s tricked and, in my view, his best contribution to the us one too many times. series. Missy, as always, was marvelous. Why “ ” isn’t breaking new ground. choose “good” when you can have that much Instead, the episode both celebrates and cri- fun? And she has adventures? Where she saves tiques a glorious (and possibly imaginary) past, planets by sacrificing girls to volcanoes? Is this for Britain and for Callbacks to a for a spinoff show? She offers a legiti- the classic era are legion, and they’re skillfully mate challenge to the Doctor’s morality: “Your deployed. The gorgeous, evocative under- ground caverns are reminiscent of some of the

The Terrible Zodin 17 best classic era sets, and the whole concept of If there’s a major objection to be raised the sleeping hive calls to mind to this story, it’s that the plot holds few surpris- classic creatures such as the Cybermen es. It is almost thematically inevitable, when the and the Silurians. In a nod to “ Doctor encounters a monster and Bill encoun- ,” the episode acknowledges that the ters a human at the same time, in parallel scary story is populated almost entirely by men: sequences, that the Ice Warrior will turn out to Iraxxa asks Bill for her opinion, saying, “We be a reasonable being and an ally, while the are both surrounded by noisy males.” Like the human will prove himself . . . well . . . a monster. women’s-lib scenes in “ ,” The sympathetic, yet weak, commander Godsa- this feels like window-dressing, rather than an cre is destined to redeem himself in the end, actual way of addressing the imbalance, but it and the rapacious, power-hungry Catchlove will works well enough, by drawing another connec- of course get his comeuppance. As a viewer, I tion to the classic era story. seldom see a plot twist or solution coming . . . In general, the episode looks beautiful. but even I saw where this episode was headed. The steampunk-inflected Victorian soldiers’ That said, it’s fun to watch even if it’s uniforms—shades of Jules Verne and Edgar predictable. Both the Doctor and Bill are in Rice Burroughs—are stunning, and the Ice good form here, and Anthony Calf offers up an Warriors themselves are subtly, effectively up- engaging performance as the cowardly Godsa- dated to look modern and menacing while cre. The business with Nardole and Missy, capturing the deceptively slow-looking move- which interrupts the story at a few points, ment of the original versions. The Ice Warri- works well, too. ors’ weapons are comically bizarre—squashing The cameo appearance by Alpha Centau- their foes into bouncy squares?—but I guess you ri is an unqualified delight for fans of the can’t have everything. original Peladon stories—I’m not ashamed to In terms of political content, “ ” admit that Centauri’s unmistakable voice doesn’t have the subtlety or finesse of some of brought tears to my eyes. At the same time, this the Twelfth Doctor’s stories (the Zygon epi- appearance isn’t just a cutesy callback. “Wel- sodes, for example). When the Colonel offers come to the Universe,” says Centauri, and it’s a Bill and the Doctor tea, he asks, “India or moment of triumph; are, as China?”, invoking the wide range of the British the Doctor says, going to make it. At the same Empire even as he demonstrates that they are time, the sprawling presence of the Ice Warri- living fairly well in this underground cave. As ors in makes it clear that their he tells them about the situation on Mars, the trajectory isn’t going to be a straight shot Colonel says regretfully, “Supplies are running toward diplomacy and civilized interaction. as low as morale. Things are pretty desperate, They’ve always been one of the show’s interest- I’m afraid.” He punctuates this by ringing a ing aliens—not killing machines, but strategic small bell; Friday comes in to take away their political thinkers with a slightly more militant used plates as Bill looks doubtfully at the array outlook on life than the humans. Gatiss, who of cakes on the table. While it’s hardly a isn’t necessarily one of the most subtle of nuanced depiction (see also Catchlove’s dis- ’s writers, is at his best in “ missal of the Ice Warriors as “a bunch of ,” inasmuch as he capitalizes on upright crocodiles”), the heavy-handed critique that ambiguity instead of trying to resolve it. of greed and conquest makes for decent viewing, particularly with Capaldi’s snarling delivery of his line about why the “The Eater of Light” soldiers came to Mars: “to loot it of its riches, to stake a claim.” eviewed by William Forbes We’ll get the person from Aberdeen to review

The Terrible Zodin 18 the episode set there, they thought. What at the beginning were clearly using West coast could go wrong? accents in Aberdeenshire. I will not rant about I will not rant about the accents. the fact that no two characters, even when they The caption at the beginning was wrong. were supposed to be related, had the same It’s Aberdeenshire, not Aberdeen. There is no accent. I especially will not rant about the part of Aberdeen that looks like a smallish town pants-on-head, pencils-up-nostrils stupidity of nestled in some hills. the fact that one of the Picts clearly had an Irish I will not rant about the accents. accent when the only Irish in Scotland at the The scenery was bloody gorgeous. But time were on the West coast of the country and that’s to be expected when the weren't on the best of episode is set in the most beautiful terms with the Picts. I'll part of the most beautiful country also refrain from in the world. pointing out that an I will not rant about the American TV series does accents. these accents better than Liked the jokes about the a British show. Scottish weather. I will not rant I will not rant about the about the accents. accents. Loved Nardole in his pajamas (very ) and “World Enough when he integrated. Well, except and Time” the hat. And the only Scotch that may have been involved in his Reviewed by impression was the stuff he drank Jamie Beckwith before attempting it. (The closest This is the best Cyber- you will ever get to someone man story speaking Scotch is ordering a Scotch egg and has ever done. It’s fair to point out at this stage a nip of Scotch whisky.) that I really don’t like stories. If you I will not rant about the accents. were to ask me to list my least favorite The Doctor and Nardole with one side, stories, you’d pretty much get a list which Bill with the other, it reminded me of “ read “ ” “ .” ” “ ” “ I will not rant about the accents. ” I should also add at this point that I’ve Really appreciated the fact they never seen “ ,” but my impres- remembered that back then that part of sion from the turgid novelization is it would Scotland was actually called Pictland. join that list. I will not rant about the accents. I started this review overly negative be- I love when the show comes up with an cause I wanted you to understand when I say explanation for things that you don’t really this is the best Cyberman story think about, like the crows’ call in this episode. has done, it really had to overcome a lot of I will not rant about the accents. ingrained personal dislike for the Telosian tin Well worked out by Bill about the men for me to say that. And it’s not a back- TARDIS translating for everyone. handed compliment, I’m not just saying it’s the I will not rant about the accents. I will best Cyberman story because it sits alongside a not rant about how ridiculously inconsistent pile of dross. It’s the best Cyberman story they were. I will not rant about the fact the kids because it really looks at what a Cyberman is Art by Steven Sautter The Terrible Zodin 19 and for the first time (in my view) makes them more horrific. In finally giving us a Genesis of scary and horrific. the Cybermen style story, what better cliffhang- The Cybermen are us if we’re not care- er than to take a character we know and love ful. That’s supposed to be their whole modus and have them undergo full conversion. De- operandi. They arrive because of an apparent spite knowing that the Cyberman who emerges need, usually , which is a strong instinct from the shadows in the very last scene is in all species. Yet that survival comes at a very inevitably going to be her, I still shouted high cost, the loss of the very thing that makes “Nooooooo!” at my screen as the Cyberman us human. The horror isn’t present in many electronically burbles “I – AM – BILL – POTTS.” Cyberman stories. Replace the Cybermen with Best Cyberman story ever. You can stop any other monster of your choice and “ bringing them back now! ,” “ ,” “ ,” “ ,” “ ,” and “ ” would more or “” less play out the same. The very thing that Reviewed by Leslie McMurtry should make them terrifying is jettisoned for the familiarity of the silver soldiers. He sat in a wheeled chair, waiting for dark, “ ” forces us to And shivered in his ghastly suit of grey, confront that horror. Bill’s life is saved, but at Legless, sewn short at elbow. Through the park what cost? I always felt the design for the Voices of boys rang saddening like a hymn, original Mondasian Cybermen was silly, Voices of play and pleasure after day, though I accept the budgetary limitations of Till gathering sleep had mothered them from him. 1966 that led to it. I was wrong, the design is . . . horrific. By allowing us to see the evolution of Now, he will spend a few sick years in institutes, it, we can appreciate the component parts; what And do what things the rules consider wise, And take whatever pity they may dole. remains of the body is clad in surgical gauze Tonight he noticed how the women's eyes that removes all individuality, the hands are Passed from him to the strong men that were whole. bound in mechanical wires and finally the head How cold and late it is! Why don't they come es incased in metal tubing with a skull cap that And put him into bed? Why don't they come? will remove all emotion. Crucially, it does not --From “Disabled” by Wilfred Owen (1917) remove any of the pain, merely stops you caring. The idea that every Cyberman is in An hour sitting with a pretty girl on a park bench constant agony but still marches inexorably on passes like a minute, but a minute sitting on a hot stove is chilling. It makes the tear motif all the more seems like an hour. That’s relativity. poignant. --Albert Einstein This episode is beautifully shot; the 400- mile spaceship desperately trying to pull away from a black hole is vividly portrayed and sticks in the imagination long after the story is over. The solid science fiction idea that time is passing faster at the part of the ship further away from the black hole is compelling and adds to the gut-punch that what was 10 minutes I spend a lot of my time defending the 2005 for the Doctor was 10 years for Bill. series of (or, maybe more accu- This is Bill’s episode. She never gives up rately, the ), more to casual view- hope that the Doctor will come for her. Which ers than to fans. To me, that series was an makes the cliffhanger for this episode all the overall excellent illustration of what it is to be

The Terrible Zodin 20 I am ambivalent, however, on the life as a Cyberman, but that she gets to travel short tenure of the Ninth Doctor—is the 2005 the universe with her love interest! series so good because it packed everything I feel Bill’s journey in this episode works into a discrete length of time, or would the despite (perhaps) being anticipated as one of excellence have continued if the Ninth Doctor the familiar Moffat-tropes, down to the way it’s had stayed for a second series? We’ll never been visually represented. (Oswin in “ know; likewise, I’ll never know if I would have ” springs to mind.) “ continued to like the Twelfth Doctor after ” is, after all, a rather simple story series 10 if Peter Capaldi had continued after stretched out to showcase emotional story arcs Steven Moffat’s departure. It’s only in series 10 rather than dazzle us with plot and complex that I’ve come to like Peter Capaldi as the chronology. Sometimes I think the emotional Doctor, as frankly I’ve not found much of series story arcs are exercises in misdirection to 8 and 9 to my liking. Now, when it’s almost too the fact they perform purely narrative-function- late, stuff starts working for me. Oh well— al roles (remember what Missy called Bill and better late than never. Nardole at the beginning of “ companions have, occa- ”?). For example, it would be very hard sionally, died, but some have suffered fates for the audience to empathize with Bill through worse than death (Zoe and Jamie’s minds being 45 minutes if we had seen and heard a Cyber- wiped, a similar thing happening to Donna). man rather than Pearl Mackie’s lovely expres- None worse, probably, than what happens to sive face (a lesson learned in show of Bill Potts, which is designed to be—and IS— which is why we have a heart-breaking. Bill has been my favorite com- half mask rather than a full mask as in the panion since Martha (unless you count Brian book). Williams), thus her Cyber-conversion was ex- Time and waiting has been a major tremely shocking. Like the man in Wilfred feature of the Capaldi years; Bill spending ten Owen’s poem above, Bill has lost her identity years in the colony ship with the in-disguise through disfigurement. “I don’t want to live if Master emphasizes boredom and intellectual I can’t be me anymore,” she says. The man in wherewithal—Bill’s sense of self. John Berry- the poem has lost his attractiveness to women, man wrote in his poem “Dream Song 14,” that aspect of his masculinity, but Bill has lost “moreover my mother told me as a boy / more than that—her gender has been obliterat- (repeatingly) ‘Ever to confess you’re bored / ed. She is a Cyberman, as the Master keeps means you have no / Inner Resources.’” Bill pointing out. Aside from the dreadful has inner resources—as should we all. They’re episode “ ,” the only gender unlikely to be put to the test that Bill’s are—but, Cybermen can assume is in their title. who knows? This is one reason why, in my opinion, In 2008, I was not convinced that Donna Bill’s happy ending is deserved—while I would as a companion for series 4 was a good idea. I argue Clara’s in the previous season was not, was so unsure that I plotted a whole series 4b despite its almost identical set-up. In story with the Master as the companion, terms, it’s been seeded since “ ,” but traveling the universe with the Doctor as both more importantly, Bill’s story has been a grand captive and potential Doctor-in-training (Wil- romance. The actors and production team have fred Mott may have been the other companion done a great job of making Bill and Heather’s in the TARDIS at that stage, I can’t remember). long-delayed love story sweeping and romantic, I’ve been ambivalent about as and therefore it feels really satisfying that not Missy (mainly because she veers from extreme- only does Bill not have to spend the rest of her ly irritating to somewhat amusing), but I felt very satisfied about her swan-song. The

The Terrible Zodin 21 Art by MistressAinley Master/Missy is the only character who could simul- taneously lust af- ter her/himself and shoot her/himself in the back. As the Mas- ter suggests, does the Master/Missy become more sus- ceptible to com- passion purely through a gender swap to the “gentler sex”? If so, that feels somewhat wrong (the whole point about the Doctor was that he was a compassion- ate male figure, which is apparently why some people like were less than gung- ho about a female Doctor) and also somewhat right. As my frequent inclusion of artwork by MistressAinley in the last few issues may have suggested, the Doctor and Missy’s relationship has been quite interesting, more so than any other previous Doctor/Master relationship. In much the way the Doctor and Bill’s complex and nuanced relationship has been exceptional- ly heartfelt and rich. There are a few niggles in “ ” that, well, niggle—it should have been Mondasian Cybermen all the way instead of their way-lamer New Series cousins (which I suspect was done for purely financial practical reasons). I’ve never warmed to Nardole in the RaRo81’s work can be found at way many have, but I was just feeling a glimmer https://nia-nita.deviantart.com/ of interest in his character (who or what is he and will he get together with Hazran?) when off he went—and I suspect if these loose threads RaRo81’s work can be found at are ever tied up, it will be in an unsatisfactory https://raro81.deviantart.com/ manner. Naturally, though, this is all negated by the promise of a regeneration deferred as Orchideacae is a Student by day, Fan the Doctor meets himself—presumably on the Artist by night; a real nowhere man, tenth planet itself. hooked on the the magic of yellow My final question is: why is Steven pages and silver screen, and wibbly Moffat so obsessed with barns? wobbly timey wimey stuff. Z https://orchideacae.deviantart.com/

The Terrible Zodin 22 Art by Dita Di PolverE The Unbearable Lightness of Being By Lee Wells

So, we enter the final stretch of the Twelfth Doctor and the novelty of the Thirteenth beck- ons. I use the word “novelty” in its true sense— as something new and exciting, a label that producer since Hinchcliffe and is probably should really be attached to every new Doctor symptomatic of an organized fanbase, which cast, not just a nod to the seismic difference in also had its roots around this point (God, casting that Jodie Whittaker represents. And, imagine what would have looked like if for the record, my views on an actor cast it could’ve turned on JNT around 1986). That (whatever their gender or ethnicity) are simple; said, if Moffat follows through with all his are they good? Are they going to get the show promises, it means we will never see him write cancelled? Everything else, skin color, construc- for the show again. And that’s a shame. In the tion of genitalia, sexual orientation, whatever, RTD era, a Moffat story was a high water mark, is irrelevant to me, as it should be to everyone. a seal of quality. And there’ve been some gems That aside, I come to praise the incum- since he became showrunner—of course there bency, not bury it in the possibilities of the have, but they’re considered more diamonds in future. I’ve been clear in the past that I’m a fan the rough these days rather than happening as of Capaldi’s portrayal. He nicely channels the a matter of course. Third and Fourth Doctors in many ways: from As a writer, Moffat is responsible for the his costuming to his verbal delivery, from two most iconic monsters of Nu —the Gas ferrying around petite brunettes to taking Mask Zombies and the Weeping Angels. He charge in every situation he finds himself, writes great character moments. As showrun- Capaldi nailed the character in a way few have. ner, he sanctioned the return of the Ice Warri- His love for the character and the show is ors and made them actually interesting—aliens unmatched, even by Tennant (who is, notably, with a culture rather than monster-of-the-week; the other fan cast in the role). he cast three astonishingly great actors to be It seems to me (ignorantly looking from the Doctor and resurrected another forgotten the outside, admittedly) that suits at the BBC— Doctor who in eight minutes or so showed actually more likely at BBC America (who what could have been. He gave us the multi- again, to me, seem to call the shots these Master story we never knew we wanted. days)—decided that Capaldi had probably had He’s a clearly a fan, and perhaps that’s his day at the end of his second season. It the problem. The two producers of Nu wasn’t the best season of New , and fan- (and the incoming third) are fans first and dom generally felt (assuming Twitter is a good foremost. They cut their TV teeth elsewhere, barometer) that Moffat, too, has had his day. but ultimately they were fans. If you look to Now, personally, I think the fans turning classic , the aforementioned fanproc- on the showrunner has happened to every laimed “best producer ever,” Hinchcliffe, wasn’t

The Terrible Zodin 23 a fan; in fact none of them were— more cerebral? Will it reward repeated view- was a job and in some cases not one they ings? Will it be . . . well, good? actively wanted. Time will tell. It always does. The criticisms of Moffat center around his narrative “cleverness,” and in a similar vein to JNT before him, an adherence to the past. These criticisms may be fair, (personally I Z disagree) but Moffat, like Davies before him, realized that needs to be bigger than the fanbase—it needs to be TV first and foremost. “ ” is 100% original TV—new Doctor, new companion, new scenario, new monsters, new problems—as good a jumping on point as “ ”—which, remember, used exist- Umbrella ing monsters which the general public might have remembered. Similarly, “ ” in the Fiction By Matthew Kilburn season just ending is also a great jumping-on point. Moffat may be jaded overall, but perhaps Sometimes Zoe the sheer volume of what he’s had to write over dreamed about the past few years has finally caught up with numbers. Some- him. times they would Yes, the narratives are clever, yes, the be written on pa- season arcs are more in depth than RTD’s, yes, per; more often the dialogue is more than serious than not, on a drama, but you know what? Modern TV. Back screen. Some- in 1989, “ ” was criticized for its times she would cleverness especially when it was suggested it have small hands was written for the VHS generation and repeat- and would play ed viewings would reward the viewer. This sort with colored beads on an abacus as sun of thing is commonplace these days; we may streamed in through the window behind her disguise it with terms such as “Easter Eggs” and an older, deeper voice told her how clever and “metatextuality,” but in many ways, late ‘80s she was. anticipated binge-watching and stream- Then, just as she knew that the funda- ing on-demand. mental mathematical principles of the universe So what does the future hold? Chibnall’s were about to unfold inside her head, she writing on doesn’t have the universal would reply to the voice, and then the abacus acclaim that Moffat’s did before he took over, would sprout rows and frames which made no and I sometimes feel that certain people in sense, or the equations would work themselves fandom are eagerly anticipating his run to fail out horizontally and vertically and diagonally, so they can post that video of him criticizing spinning out new and nonsensical ideas which JNT back in the day (#DoctorWhopocrisy– you inverted everything she had known about her- saw it here first). is a different self and everything which she had trusted about beast, so I don’t think we’re going to get 8-part mathematics. Her reply echoed in her head stories (God—and you, gentle reader—know over and over again, never quite reaching a how much I love modern multi-parters), but I crescendo, and became torture: do think we’re in for a different style. Will it be “The Doctor is almost as clever as I am.”

Art by Steven Sautter She’d known how they were made, once, but if she tried to think about it the fog in her head rose up and the old straight paths were obscured. For the first couple of weeks after they’d landed here, she’d lived in the TARDIS with the Doctor. This wasn’t the same as it had been before, of course; and someone must have noticed, because the Brigadier had come into the laboratory one morning and announced that he’d found her a flat. It was in a new block on an old street. She’d asked why it was architecturally so different from the houses around it, and Captain Hawkins had explained about bomb damage. “Of course. I’d forgotten that it took so long for twentieth-century societies to re- place their damaged buildings after their wars.” Captain Hawkins had looked at her as if across a chasm, and Zoe stayed silent for the entire drive back to UNIT headquarters. She moved into the flat, though; she had taken a suitcase, gathered some things she thought of as hers from the TARDIS, and left. The Doctor had been too absorbed in some Then she would wake up, in her bed, circuitry to notice. Isobel had attempted to take emptied. Zoe in hand; she’d suggested that Zoe should do a degree, but Zoe had said there would be little point as she didn’t intend to stay long. There was a postcard from Isobel that morn- The truth was that she would get bored having ing. She was having a splendid time in Rio: sun, to pretend to take three years over whatever it caipirinha, and millionaires. Poor Jimmy Turn- was she would study, or—worse—become frus- er. But then, men in uniform weren’t particu- trated if—as she feared—her photographic mem- larly fashionable in this time period. There ory deserted her when it counted. seemed to be protest after protest against wars One thing she could do was catch a which the older generation largely supported train. She liked walking to the station, along- and the younger generation did not. Neither side the men in suits and bowler hats heading side, Zoe liked to think, had sufficient knowl- to the City of London. This was the twilight of edge to decide very much at all. the old enterprises which had run the finances Zoe had breakfast; cereal from a packet of the world, Zoe remembered. She should as usual, though once when Corporal—Serg- remember her anthropology and appreciate eantBenton had looked in on her he’d said he their antique dress practices. Instead, she felt should send his sister round as it was obvious better being one of the women with their own Zoe needed to learn to find her way around a more subtle and complex codes. A skirt might frying pan. Never had she thought that she be longer here, a blouse brighter there, hair up, would miss her pills and her concentrates. hair down, hair shorter. It was the summer, and there were women of her own age in short young men with long hair, and plastic manne- dresses of synthetic fabric, many with big print- quins coming to life in windows. Made of ed flowers. Older women were more conserva- plaster when I actually ran the stores, of course tive, but there were several mid-length coats of . . .” green and orange and bright blue. Zoe politely declined the kind but insist- ent gentleman’s offer of a shared taxi and Zoe had almost reached the arcade instead bought her ticket for the Underground which led to High Street Kensington station as planned. She looked cautiously around the when she encountered the most extraordinary platforms, but the old woman was to be seen person she had ever seen. An elderly woman neither in carriage nor tunnel. was standing on the pavement facing her. She was smaller than Zoe and incredibly squat. The steps the woman took towards Zoe suggested Zoe took a clockwise train on the Circle, which determined strength. Her bulk was obviously reached UNIT headquarters about twenty-five the result of the fat- and carbohydrate-rich diet minutes later. She’d begun by reading two or of this century; it was almost shapeless under a three newspapers on the way, but they had shroud of the deepest ink black. Above a mangy been difficult to carry. She’d had one or two fox fur around her neck projected a great comments which she’d come to realize had square head of lined and mottled grey skin, on been adverse. She stuck to one, now, and had which was crushed a wide felt hat, from which worked out where on the train she was most escaped a few clumps of white hair. Most likely to find a seat and most likely to be remarkable, though, were the opaque glasses undisturbed. She reached UNIT HQ at a quar- which obscured any sight of her eyes. ter-past-nine exactly, looked in on the Doctor, Zoe expected the other pedestrians to and then went to the kitchen to make them react to this manifestation, but they did not. both cups of tea. The electric hob was charm- Almost everybody over thirty was deferential to ingly old-fashioned, with its glowing rings, and seniority in this society, Zoe knew, but there she had once said so. was something about this figure which was “State of the art, Miss Heriot. My sister beyond human age. As the old woman raised would like one of those, to stop her having to the furled and battered umbrella which she light the gas.” carried in her left hand towards Zoe, Zoe felt “I thought most households would have acutely that she was an outsider, foreign to this these nowadays, Sergeant Benton.” time, this city, this world. She belonged in “I keep forgetting you’re not from round space, on the Wheel, not here—no, she be- ’ere, Miss.” longed with the Doctor . . . At least she had let him take her through It was that thought which saved her, but the tea-making process. It was simple enough. she lost consciousness for a second, and when Benton believed in loose leaf tea—“none of yer she woke up she was face down on the pave- little paper bags, Miss Heriot”—which was as ment with other people’s feet about her head. good a devotional system as any, Zoe supposed. “I say! Taken a tumble?” A grey-haired Her upbringing had been disappointingly secu- man in striped grey trousers and a bowler hat lar, she thought whimsically, but those respon- was helping her to her feet. sible for her education couldn’t have “Yes . . .” she looked at her knees and anticipated her living a century before she was then at the man’s amused concern. “Nothing born. She performed the ritual with the hot broken, just . . . That’s odd.” water and the kettle, waited for the prescribed “Oddness is priced low in the market length of time, then carefully poured the tea this year, my dear. Miniskirts, maxiskirts, through the strainer into one mug, then anoth- Art by Miss-Alex-Aphey er. She had poured milk in beforehand, like “Oh, Doctor. He did find me accommo- Benton said his sister preferred. dation which is very comfortable for the period When she had finished, solitary leaves he lives in.” Then, deliberately: “That we live spun on the surface of each drink. in.” Zoe carried the two hot mugs “You were always welcome to stay in the up the corridor and through to TARDIS. I certainly don’t need any of the laboratory, where the TARDIS Lethbridge-Stewart’s blandishments.” sat in its corner. The Doctor was in the “You were certainly very glad to centre of the room, tangled up in his accept Bessie.” web of tubes and wires and phials The Doctor furrowed his and circuit-boards. eyebrows at her, sucking his “Tea, Doctor.” left index finger as if look- “Hmm. What? Oh. Thank ing for authentication. ”Yes, you, Zoe.” His long face looked well. Got to keep the feller more deeply lined than usual. “I’d amused.” hoped to have synthesized a suffi- “‘She keeps you amused!” ciently chemoselective enzyme to cata- Zoe’s eyes followed the Doctor lyze activity in the second stratum of the round the lab as he tightened con- dematerialization circuit by now, but nections and examined compo- there’s nothing there.” nents with his eyeglass. “I didn’t “I’m sorry, Doctor. I should expect traveling with you, Doctor, have stayed up with you.” to turn into a lesson on how to “That’s very kind.” He smiled down at repair motor-cars on twentieth-centu- her, kindly but condescendingly. It was a ry Earth.” Zoe stopped. That out- smile she was still getting used to, just like his burst had been uncalled for. height and the patrician remoteness in his There was no reply. The Doctor started voice, as well as the tidier, primmer, perhaps to sing to himself, softly. It might have been even defensive turn to his clothing. “This some atonal lullaby from his home planet, isn’t really your field, though.” or an inattentive rendition of a popular “I could learn. I’m sure all the tech- song from eighty years before this time, in niques imparted by the teaching machines are this country, on this world. still there. I memorized the movements of all Zoe continued, a note of contrition in the prices on the stock pages of the newspapers her voice. “So that’s why I took the flat. And the when I first started traveling in from Kensing- salary.” ton, and then the interest rates and the factors “Jolly good.” He smiled—not the old affecting commodities such as climate and Doctor’s smile, that sorrowful wisdom-of-the- conflict, and the reactions of the markets to ages look which apologized for everything yet news, and after two or three days was able to promised mischief and wonder to come, but a make some quite accurate forecasts.”’ Her voice patronizing smirk. “Helps you”—and he patted then fell a note as she said, “I told the Briga- the TARDIS—“blend in with your surround- dier, and he said that he’d sell me to his cousin ings.” Hector at the Stock Exchange.” Whoever the Doctor was listening to, it “What a remarkably venal fellow.” wasn’t Zoe. “Who?” “What you need, old girl, is a working “Lethbridge-Stewart. He claims to work time vector generator. That’ll show them . . .” for the greater good, but he’s remarkably prop- Without a look at Zoe, he picked up a compo- ertarian.” nent from a lab bench and went through the thing that was bad. There ought to be nothing doors. to fear. Always the TARDIS, thought Zoe, al- Then Zoe looked into the opaque lenses ways freedom. She guessed that of the apparition’s spectacles and the Doctor could spend centu- realized that they weren’t opaque ries teaching himself every oper- after all. She could see right ation, every equation, every through them; and there was noth- polarity of every last neutron ing there but a murky grey-white flow. She had one life. The Time which yellowed as she watched. Lords had sent her to keep the Nausea welled up in her, but it Doctor company, to help inter- connected with a knot of resist- pret this period for him, or so ance. She pressed back against the they said. She wondered, some- laboratory workbench, despite her times, in dark moments, whether disorientation. she was the Doctor’s punish- From some distance she ment; that he would have to heard “Zoe! I’ve been investigating watch her grow old and die, and some remarkable readings on the as he grieved for her the Time TARDIS console. Come Lords, in their mercy, would Art by Steven Sautter and ta—good grief!” restore the knowledge and the Hands lifted her back- liberty which they had withheld from him. wards, over the bench, behind it; a chair was Don’t be so self-centered, she said to brandished in front of her like some primitive herself. He’ll have forgotten you. culture’s four-pronged spear. She gasped for “That’s self-pity, darlin’, and no mistake.” breath; but she could still feel the pull of the The voice was a croak, an insidious thing at the door. presence in her ear. Zoe took a breath, but a ”It sucks, Doctor…” rush of despair had turned the air around her “I’m pleased to hear that you are master- into a tepid, cloying gel of terror. She gagged, ing the contemporary dialect, Zoe.” She looked and then tried to cry for the Doctor; but she up, accusingly; he frowned, as if she should could not tell whether she had made any noise. have appreciated his little joke. “Hm. That’s an “We don’t like ‘em who feels so sorry for interesting physical sensation you describe. I ‘emselves, round ‘ere. Time you was leavin’, my think that this is a creature from the time love.” vortex. Some kind of anomaly, personified.’ The voice was stronger. Zoe felt a pres- The Doctor advanced, pushing Zoe behind ence at her back pulling her towards it. When him. The entity hissed; it had lost definition she turned, she knew she was in part submit- now.. The laboratory was reality again, the ting to its call, though there was still enough of apparition something from the outside, trying her wanting to see what she was up against, to break in. ‘Just a moment...’ The Doctor wanting to fight. gripped Zoe’s wrist tightly, then turned her to Blocking the doorway to the laboratory his right, so she was alongside him. The appari- was the apparition from Kensington High tion solidified and swelled, and surged forward. Street, just as formidable and the most solid The Doctor then pulled Zoe back, so suddenly thing in the room. Zoe felt an overpowering that she yelled; the creature retreated and faded need, as if she were a very little girl. This was slightly. Grandmother, under whose opening umbrella “Doctor, it becomes stronger when there she would hide and be protected from every- isn’t any obstruction between it and me.” “Yes, she does, doesn’t she?” Typical of the Doctor to gender this phenomenon, Zoe Or rather, not travelling. thought. Straight-backed, head up, clearly en- “It does sound ridiculous, I admit. We joying the confrontation, the Doctor propelled could talk in terms of time and space as we her back until they were both beside the TAR- experience it, and meta-time and meta-space, a DIS. “Now take this” – he gave Zoe the chair – sort of continuum of collective fears and “and don’t move.” He disappeared into the doubts and hopes, of possibilities and never- TARDIS, and after two of the longest seconds weres. Potentially, anyway.” of Zoe’s life returned with a gold rod connected “Potentially?” to a thin cable stretching back through the ‘Do you read all the newspapers, Zoe?’ TARDIS door. He grabbed his cloak from “Most of them. Mainly the serious ones, where it was folded untidily over a lab stool, but I look at the others now and again to make unfurled it and then draped it over the hand sense of what everyone is wearing or listening that held the rod, and advanced at the entity, a to or watching. Not that I do, necessarily.” sorcerer raising his wand to a level above the “The Daily Express?” creature’s raised umbrella “Now and then.” “It doesn’t like you!” Zoe felt a wave of “Hmm. I think you’ve picked up some- relief and gave a little jump of triumph. “Doc- thing!” tor, it’s allergic!” “That’s one way of looking “Oh, thank you.”“Something iconic from at it.”’ The Doctor edged round the lab bench popular culture, representing conservatism, and towards the door; the apparition moved a isolationism, and good old curmudgeonliness. little in Zoe’s direction but didn’t seem to have It also says a lot about this time and place. the strength to make the effort. We’re rather cut off at UNIT, you know.” He’d “Now, let’s be polite and shake hands.” produced the from a pocket, He reached out and his hand passed through and began to direct vibrations at a purple rock the creature. He grimaced in evident pain, but that happened to be sitting on the bench. collected himself and leaped forward, casting “You might be. I take the Circle Line to his cloak over the entity’s umbrella. There was HQ every day.” a sound like a gust of wind and with nothing to “So you’re the most likely of us to have hold it up, the cloak fell. The manifestation was been exposed. And as a Time Lord, even an gone. exiled Time Lord, I have certain immunities.” Zoe ran to the Doctor, who was recover- “You haven’t said what you’re immune ing his cloak and the gold rod from the floor. from. Or what that entity was. I thought that as “How’s that for parapsychology, Zoe?” a Time Lord…” “You mean it drew its form, its energies, “The Time Lords think they know from my neuroses?” everything, Zoe, but if they did, I wouldn’t have “‘You’re not going to deny that you have left them. No, whatever she – it – is” – he them?” The question could have been abrupt, corrected himself as Zoe grimaced, and smiled but the Doctor’s delivery was cautious and – “thought of you as an irregularity, living your affectionate. life as if you were your great-great-grandmoth- “‘No.” Her tone was reproving, though. er.” He slapped his forehead. “I might have let “Good. We all have them. Even Time it in. I’m going to have to reverse all the work Lords. Perhaps,” he paused theatrically, “even I’ve done on the TARDIS. It could take time itself.” months.” Zoe giggled. Despite everything that had “I first saw the entity this morning, happened, she couldn’t help herself. One be- Doctor. I’d rather it didn’t take very long.” came inured to unsettling experiences when “Well, a few days at best. But keep your travelling with the Doctor. eyes open. In fact, you’d better move back into Art by Steven Sautter the TARDIS.” The Doctor looked across ap- praisingly. “Don’t look so miserable. I’m not going to lock you up.” “It makes sense, I suppose. I’m not giving up the flat, though. Living as normally as I can is important to me, Doctor. But I’ll go along to the duty office and inform Sergeant Benton that I’ll be staying here for a while.” “Good idea. Otherwise Lethbridge-Stew- art’s spies will panic and think you’ve been fantasy that range from visual references to kidnapped.” A door slammed and footsteps and could be heard along the corridor. “You know, to casting intertexts from and DC's I think we’ve woken him up.” animated universe (the brilliant Mark Hamill as And Zoe laughed. the head of the Time Agency, sounding like a blend of his DCAU and Hanukkah Zombie) and Z (the sublime Brett Dalton and Ming- Na Wen as hypercompetent Time Agents—and probable future lovers given the - esque bickering and denial of their own chem- istry, also an intertextual reference to their characters’ interactions on -- Brick and Savannah, as well as the delightful Adrian Pasdar as Fire Chief Chase---the name It's World and position also possibly a combined refer- ence to and —from both And We're All and Marvel's animated universe where he plays Tony Stark)2. But what Living In It? I'll focus upon here are the multiple references to , and the various Whoniversal Inter- fan practices associated with both series. Before I begin that, however, I shall give texts in a brief précis of the series itself. focuses upon the titular Milo Murphy (voiced by na- tional treasure “Weird” Al Yankovic) who is afflicted or cursed with Murphy's Law. In many By Melissa Beattie respects, he has the same probability-affecting powers as Marvel’s (comics, rather than MCU) Murphy's Law: Everything That Can Go Wrong, Scarlet Witch; Milo's impact on the world Will Go Wrong. around him is played for humor and treated as adventure, however, with no permanent injury The concept of “Murphy's Law” is not a new or death possible. Milo’s father has the same one. The Disney XD series affliction, though his mother and older sister ( ), on the other hand, is in the final Sara do not (implying the curse/illness is on stretch of its first series and has already been the Y chromosome). Milo is also joined by his renewed for a second. It is a fantastic show, friends Zack and Melissa on most of his adven- tures as well as his dog Diogee. The humor of featuring intertexts1 from science fiction and

The Terrible Zodin Art by Dita Di PolverE the series is quite British in its timing, word- play, use of the sympathetic incompetent à la David Brent and occasional stereotyping of the French; this is mixed with frequent American pop cultural references, school systems and musical interludes. So far, so somewhat normal for an ani- mated series. But has what is sometimes termed a mythos or mythology arc, though in media studies it's usually called a type of serial arc or serialisation. Early on we meet Cavend- ish and Dakota (voiced by series co-creators Dan Povenmire and Jeff “Swampy” Marsh), who are incompetent Time Agents charged with guarding pistachios in order to prevent saving group with time vehicles (cars, rather their extinction—something diegetically ac- than TARDES3) with a number of gadgets, knowledged to be purely inconsequential. It is including wrist-based ones, certainly evoke this thread of time travel that not only links the what we saw of Jack in in particu- series together but also leads to the intertexts lar. The conflict in methods between the hyper- with and . These inter- competent but hardened Brick and Savannah texts are tripartite, and I shall discuss each in and the bumbling but determined Cavendish turn. and Dakota can also possibly be read in terms As noted above, time travel and Time of the different approaches between Jack and Agents are a regular part of the series. While the Doctor, including Cavendish and Dakota’s time travel itself obviously evokes current alliance with Milo, having initially be- —as does Milo's bigger-on-the-inside back- lieved him to be an enemy. The varying rela- pack, a gift from a former babysitter—the con- tionships between the partners—Brick and cept of the Time Agency and Time Agents is Savannah bickering and denying their sexual directly out of ' back story, in- chemistry, Cavendish and Dakota bickering as cluding a reference to “pterodactyl blood” in not-quite-friends with Cavendish insisting that the first episode to show the Agency he knows everything—can also evoke the differ- directly. The Time Agents are rather less mor- ent Doctor/Companion relationships. That on- ally grey in than in or ly Dakota has a sense of humor (being unable Due to the extremely serious to take anything seriously) can likewise express nature of their missions, Brick and Savannah the counterpoint between the more dour Doc- are rather humorless and, as Cavendish did tors and their less serious companions as well initially, interpret things as deliberate enemy as, arguably, between UNIT and the Doctor. It action rather than inadvertent Murphy’s Law is likely that, as with UNIT and the Doctor, the and react accordingly, though Cavendish and relationship between the various Time Agent Dakota are too incompetent to be threatening. pairings and Milo and his friends will evolve (Except as threats to Brick and Savannah's and improve. world-saving missions going smoothly, with This brings me to my next point. There Cavendish and Dakota's incompetence—and are Time Agents running about the series, Milo’s chaos—screwing up their missions lead- being alternately derailed by Murphy's Law and ing to much of the humor for the audience and aided by Milo’s resourcefulness— indeed, Cav- frustration for the Time Agents.) That they endish and Dakota can only save the future exist at all as an organized, world-and-time- with Milo’s aid, though, admittedly, the three of them combined inadvertently caused the prob- evil pistachio plants ended up in 1955, ten years lem in the first place (sentient pistachio plants before the pilot, though how these events con- taking over the world à la the Triffids or nect is, as yet, unknown. Vervoids, the only true enemy seen in the Finally, takes the unusual step of series). Milo and (especially) his sister Sara are showing fan practices engaged in by the main ardent fans of the various incarnations of characters. These include cosplay while waiting , a time travel series that has in a queue for the opening night of the run for fifty years. feature film, fan tourism at a ranch in Yes, it’s exactly what you think it is. which an episode was filmed-- the somewhat The series-within-a-series itself is intro- rapturous admiration of a wall could be a nod duced in the episode “ ” to the memorial in Bay— but seen in “ .” The and Sara's habit of staring at the writer/star's concept features a time traveler called Doctor house from a nearby tree. The series also Zone (who has progressed through a variety of addresses in no uncertain terms the potential academic titles, including both “Professor” and problems of fan hierarchies, especially those “Adjunct Faculty Member”), his companion who would name themselves as the arbiters of Time Ape (with a clock for a head and who only who is and is not a fan and who would circum- gives the current time in actress Sophie Win- scribe activities of others. kleman's voice) and their time “bee-hicle”: what seems to be a Volkswagen Bug-style car with : Newbies, oldbies, lend bees’ wings. When the car “takes off,” one can me your ears. (A fan hands her see the string holding it up. Doctor Zone's his fake alien ears). Oh. No, not main adversaries that we see are the “trashcan- literally. Nobody gets to de- droids,” though the clips in the credit sequence fine the parameters of what it and the various cosplayers we see later in the means to be a fan. We’re not episode make homages to a variety of series, just fans of fantasy. It's more including what appear to be -like crea- than that. It’s about what fan- tures. The obvious joy expressed by Milo and tasy means to each of us. Fan- Sara, however, as well as the light touch of the tasy means . . . um . . . series as a whole and the way in which fans are (Gets on the trash can next treated (for which see more below) makes it to Sara) Fantaso. From the clear that this is a loving homage, not a cruel Greek which means “to show.” one. Exactly. We’re here to- I did say above that the show-within-a- day to show our love. Because show was related to the Time Agents we see. In there's nothing better than the hour-long special “Missing Milo,” we learn sharing something you love . . more about the Time Agency and time travel . (A flashback of Sara dropping generally. We find that thanks to the missing her ice cream from earlier plays (now found) pilot of again and continues on, showing from 1965 and Sara, Zack and Melissa visiting Milo offering an extra spoon to the writer/star of the series, that Cavendish and Sara so that she can share his ice Dakota were, in fact, the inspiration for Doctor cream). . . with someone you Zone and Time Ape. We also learn in that love. episode that Milo features in that lost pilot as a (“ ”) (poorly-acted) companion, though the episode which would explain how all of that came to be Thus rather than malign fans and fan- has not yet aired. It is implied that one of the dom, the series expresses a nuanced under- standing of some of the problems associated affective play. This functions in two ways, for with organised fandom while still lauding the two distinct but linked reasons. When making concept of being a fan. Sara’s stalking is slightly in-jokes, the production team are essentially more problematic, though that is portrayed as tipping the wink to the audience; while it is not shyness, being star-struck and/or not wanting exactly direct address, it is a way for the audi- to bother the character rather than an invasion ence to feel as though they've been brought in of privacy, a boundary frequently debated on the joke. In addition to amusing the pro- among fans. While the series could perhaps do duction team to do this, it can help create a better in this regard—I find their frequent use sense of fan community between the produc- of “crazy” and similar terms for various charac- tion team and the audience. That can increase ters as well as the occasional depiction of those the audience’s enjoyment, which will encourage with clear signs of mental illness as comedy to them to watch the series (and be exposed to the be somewhat problematic—that the portrayal of advertising during the breaks, things again fans is broadly positive and generally nuanced going back to money). It will also give the is a welcome change. production team a particular standing as fans, This does, of course, raise the question something to which I shall return more below. of why a series would incorporate intertexts I discussed above how features into their shows.4 In terms of the fan practices within its narrative. As one can and references, both Lucas- imagine, including genre fans in a genre series film and Marvel are owned by Disney, so this can be a difficult thing to do without alienating can be interpreted as cross-brand promotion, the fans one is trying to attract. This is yet i.e., drawing viewers to one media product to another reason to include all of these intertexts. another due to the viewers developing an affec- Without getting deeply into the theory,7 the tion or appreciation of one or more members use of these intertexts is a way of showing that of the cast. But and the production team (and, by association, the are not Disney properties and none of the voice series) is made up of fans and thus has what is cast (to date) have appeared on either series.5 colloquially called “fan cred” (but which is This, of course, raises the question of formally called fan cultural capital8). One can why a series would rely so heavily upon inter- think of it here as a way for the production texts with media that they don’t own. There are team to convey to the viewers that the produc- two main reasons, both of which amount to tion team is made up of fans just like the money and affective play.6 When thinking of audience. Thus instead of something like the media texts as brands, we can think of these infamous “Get a Life” sketch from intertexts as linking a strong brand to another , in which someone set apart from strong brand, even though both brands aren’t fans maligns them, thus potentially causing owned by the same people. If people who like offense to the audience, the series is trying to hear that there’s another TV include fans by offering a loving tribute or fond series, here , that makes references to it teasing. (especially if those references are clever and Series attempting this often do it badly.9 positive) then, the theory goes, people who like That said, between the intertexts, the the brand will watch It's a way of tone and the contexts in which the series attracting a larger audience and, in so doing, expresses the practices—including the line quot- making money for the network which then ed above, in which Milo’s older sister Sara leads to the network ordering more of the maintains that there is no one way to be a media text. fan—the series does quite well with regard to The other reason to engage intertextual- showing respect toward fans in general. This is ly with a media product you don’t own is an important and effective way of endearing the series to the fans, thus increasing the wrong, will go wrong, but likelihood that they’ll stay with the series for does seem to be doing a lot of things right. the duration, becoming ardent fans—which (Now just get Brick and Savannah to- then draws advertising revenue—as well as prov- gether already.) ing the series’ own fan cred.10 Now that’s not to say that money is the only reason—engaging in affective play with the audience can be enjoya- Works Cited/Further Reading Abbott, S. 2010. “Observations on Cult Televi- ble for production teams as well11—but it is this sion” in , Abbott, S. blend and this balance that the series manages (ed). London: I.B. Tauris. 7-18. which is quite exceptional, not to mention Beattie, M. 2017. “ ‘My’ Hero or Epic Fail? endearing. as Transnational Telefantasy". As is probably clear, I'm quite fond of . Vol 20 No 3. Availa- , and not just for its inter- ble texts. The series is creative, absurdist, clever fromhttp://palabraclave.unisabana.edu.co and nuanced and provides a number of re- /index.php/palabraclave/issue/view/257. search possibilities as well. It is one of the few Cubbison, L. and Beattie, M. 2015. series to show media fans in a mostly-positive . [online] Available light and is certainly clear in its discourage- from ment of fan hierarchies and of those who would https://sites.google.com/site/ethicsinthea be the arbiters of who is and is not a fan. It has gentsofshield/home. Constantly updated. also created a clearly loving homage to Gray, J. 2010. and incorporated and . NY: N homages into the series diegesis itself. Mur- YU Press. phy’s Law may state that everything that can go Hills, M, 2002. . London: Routled ge. Jancovich, M. and Lyons, J. 2003. 1 In-jokes or references to other series. 2 In the interests of full disclosure, Dalton and Wen are what drew me to the series, rather than the London: BFI. intertexts. #teamWard I briefly discuss the intertexts to in Cubbison and Beattie (2015), a website on ethics in the Johnson, C., 2005a. London: BFI. series, available here: Johnson, C. 2005b. “Quality/Cult Television: https://sites.google.com/site/ethicsintheagentsofshield/home/overvi ew. The discussion is in footnote 6 of the 'Real World Implications' and Television History” in page. Hammond M and Mazdon, L (eds). 3 The appropriate 3rd declension plural of TARDIS in Latin. . Edin- 4 For a good introduction to intertexts, Jonathan Gray's from 2010 is a fine place to start. burgh: EUP. 57-71 5 Thomas Sangster, Tim Latimer in “ ” / “ ,” was a regular character in Povenmire and Marsh's earlier series 6 Affective play is a form of play that engages emotions and involves Z moving between reality and fantasy at will. See Hills (2002) for a good explanation. 7 If anyone does want to delve into the theory, my 2017 article “ ‘My' Hero or Epic Fail? as Transnational Telefantasy” goes into much of this argument. 8 I follow Hills (2002) in that usage. 9 The most pertinent example here being the mixed audience response to LINDA in “ .” 10 This is one way of describing a “cult TV audience,” though defining what is or is not “cult” is extremely contentious academically. Jancovich and Lyons (2003), Johnson (2005a, 2005b) and Abbott (2010) are all good places to start. 11 I'm an academic; this is part of my suite of fan practices. Art by Steven Sautter

the-collect- iveterm-for-a- The Valeyard group-of Plasmatons1 Vainglorious? are. He is quite capable By Jamie Beckwith of lying his smug, beard- ed face off. Last issue I told you I had a theory as to who Balanced the Valeyard might be, and it’s a theory which against that, draws together evidence from both the original however, is and new series. I found weaving the pieces of that on this the theory together a challenge, but I figure if occasion there appears to be no motivation for you’ve gone to the effort of downloading a the Master to lie, unless it’s to plant some seed fanzine, you probably have of doubt in the Doctor’s mind as to whether or enough of the lore to follow along. I hope you not he is a good man. find my theory holds up, but if you disagree The Valeyard is an agent of the High write in and tell us why; maybe you have an Council, intent on discrediting the Doctor due even better alternative theory. to his accidental discovery that the planet Rav- alox was in fact the planet Earth, moved out of The Valeyard its usual position in the solar system (thus killing all life on the surface) in order to We are first introduced to the Valeyard in “ prevent secrets stolen from the falling ” where he serves as in to the wrong hands. But there’s something prosecutor at the Doctor’s second trial, when more to him than just that as the Master reveals the Doctor in his sixth incarnation is taken out in this transcript from episode 13: of time and space by his fellow Time Lords and forced to answer to charges of interference, The Master: “You have an endearing habit of blundering into something strictly forbidden by Time Lord these things, Doctor, and the High Council took full advan- society and something the Doctor has already tage of your blunder.” had the misfortune to be tried for already, back The Inquisitor: “Explain that” in his second incarnation in “ ” During the course of the trial, the in- The Master: “They made a deal with the Valeyard, or as I've creasingly hostile Valeyard lays charges of gen- always known him, the Doctor, to adjust the evidence, in ocide against the Doctor after the Doctor return for which he was promised the remainder of the submits evidence from an adventure he’s not Doctor's regenerations.” had yet where he ends up wiping out a bunch The Valeyard: “This is clearly -” of Vervoids who were intent on invading Earth. The Doctor looks done for when who should The Doctor (interjecting): “! Did you call him turn up but his old frenemy the Master ready the Doctor?” to deliver both surprise defense witnesses and The Master: “There is some evil in all of us, Doctor, even a shocking revelation of who the Valeyard you. The Valeyard is an amalgamation of the darker sides of really is. your nature, somewhere between your twelfth and final A note of caution here. It is the Master incarnation. And I may say, you do not improve with age.” who provides the explanation and as time has shown, the Master is madder than a whatever- The Valeyard is the Doctor! Art by Salvadorkatz fourth time after falling off the top of a radio Exact Words telescope while saving the entire universe. The fifth incarnation is played by Peter Well, okay, not quite. The Valeyard, if we take Davison, and the Doctor regenerates for the the Master’s word for it, is an amalgamation of fifth time after being poisoned by raw spectrox. the darker side of his nature, somewhere be- The sixth incarnation (the one on trial tween his twelfth and final incarnation. Re- where we first meet the Valeyard) is played by member these exact words because we’ll be , and the Doctor regenerates for coming back to them. Firstly, though, let’s ask the sixth time after being injured when the a stupid question. TARDIS crash lands on the planet Lakertya. The seventh incarnation is played by Who is the Twelfth Doctor? Sylvester McCoy, and the Doctor regenerates for the seventh time following botched heart You looked at that question and understanda- surgery (performed as a result of a drive-by bly said Peter Capaldi. Which is quite right shooting) where the poor surgeon can’t have given how the question was phrased. But if I been expected to know she was actually work- had said who is the twelfth incarnation, the ing on a Time Lord answer is much less straightforward. The eighth incarnation is played by Paul We know from “ ” McGann, and the Doctor regenerates for the that a Time Lord can only regenerate 12 times eighth time after being injured in a spaceship and thus is limited to thirteen incarnations. crash on the planet Karn. Putting aside a baffling scene from “ The ninth incarnation is played by John ” (subject to its own countless theo- Hurt and in this incarnation did not call him- ries, no doubt) the assumption is that the very self the Doctor, hence the confused numbering first incarnation of the Doctor is the one we from here on in. This incarnation regenerated meet in “ ” played by Wil- for the ninth time after destroying liam Hartnell2. The Doctor regenerates for the and in the / saving very first time after his first encounter Gallifrey in the Time War. He will sadly with the Cybermen in “ never know which. ” leading to his second in- The tenth incarnation of carnation. the Doctor is thus the one we The second incarna- know as the Ninth Doctor tion is played by Patrick and is played by Christopher Troughton, and the Doctor Eccleston. The Doctor re- regenerates at the end of generates for the tenth time his first trial by Time after absorbing the time vor- Lords when they exile him tex out of the , a time-sensitive being created to Earth in the late 20th centu- when his companion Rose ry tried to operate the TARDIS The third incarnation is and save the Doctor from being played by and the Doc- killed by the Daleks. The Doctor was tor regenerates for the third time after rather fond of Rose as will become important being heavily irradiated on the planet Metabelis to this theory. III. The eleventh incarnation of the Doctor The fourth incarnation is played by Tom is played by and funnily enough Baker, and the Doctor regenerates for the Rose was around for his eleventh regeneration as well. In love (we assume) and separated by reference) had only one heart, lacked the ability impenetrable dimensional barriers, the two are to regenerate and could express his feelings finally reunited in the same universe only for and desires in a more human way than the the Doctor to be blasted down by a Dalek and source Doctor could. This turned out to be thus triggering that eleventh regeneration. quite handy (sorry, I will stop it) when Rose The twelfth incarnation of the Doctor Tyler had a very important question to ask. was also played by David Tennant. He managed this trick of keeping his same face due to a “, I….” combination of extreme vanity (his next incar- nation’s words) and a literally handy receptacle The Doctor is more than likely in love with . . . His hand in a jar which was cut off in a Rose Tyler. Something about this shop girl sword fight with a Sycorax in “ from early 21st century Earth who likes eating ” and which has been carried around chips has both his hearts racing. But he’s a like a creepy Doctor detector by Captain Jack 900-year-old Time Lord from the planet Galli- (it worked, though.). We’ll come back to what frey, and he won’t allow himself to publically happened to this hand shortly, but for now let’s acknowledge his feelings for her. Why? Be- move on. cause human lives are fleeting. He once (prob- The Doctor regenerates for the twelfth ably) was in love with a plucky late 20th century and what should be the final time after being journalist called , but he cut irradiated with radiation and saving the life of their tour of the entire universe short one day Wilfred Mott in the process. The thirteen for seemingly spurious reasons. It was only incarnation of the Doctor is played by Matt several regenerations later when they met again Smith. that she realized that he must have seen count- less friends age and die. Rose could spend the The Tenth and a half Doctor rest of her life with the Doctor, but he could never do the same with her. When she be- So yeah, that hand. The reason the Tenth comes trapped in a parallel dimension, their Doctor isn’t walking around with just one hand friendship ends prematurely, but as devastated is that he was still newly regenerated and thus as the Doctor is, he knew it would always end. had enough regenerative energy to grow a new For Rose, her last encounter with the one. The hand, as we’ve said, came in to the Doctor is when he able to send a very brief possession of Captain Jack at and holographic message through a dwindling then left as an amusing conversation piece crack between the two universes. Rose tells the sitting under the TARDIS console, occasionally Doctor she loves him but he can only get as far bubbling away in the jar as the plot demanded. as “Rose Tyler, I . . . ” before the message fades. In “ ” after the Doctor’s Years later, when Rose is finally reunited with eleventh regeneration, he kept the same face the Doctor, she asks him how that sentence and body and was able to siphon off regenera- would finish, but he cannot bring himself to say tion energy in to the hand. Later it. There is someone remarkably like the Doc- is trapped alone in the TARDIS and comes into tor who can tell Rose what she wants to hear, contact with the hand. A surge of regenerative and Andy does so. We don’t get to hear what energy engulfs both Donna and the hand and it is but given that Rose’s reaction is to snog a brand new clone of the Tenth Doctor grows his face off we can assume it was good news. before her very eyes. This was a “meta-crisis” The Doctor and Donna leave Andy and Rose which saw a combination of both the Doctor’s to lead a life together on a parallel Earth where and Donna’s DNA to create a new being. This they will grow old together and live happily Doctor (who I’m going to call Andy for ease of ever after. Or did they? sions to find him again; will he not do the same Andy and Rose: What happened next? for her?

We are, of course, now in the realms of fan Amalgamation fiction. There are probably more Andy/Rose- what-happened-next stories on the Internet that The Oxford dictionary defines “amalgamation” there are atoms in your average G-type main as “The action, process, or result of combining or sequence star. Some of them might even be uniting.” Andy is the combination and uniting good (sorry, I’m letting my Nine/Rose, of Time Lord regenerative energy and human Ten/Martha preferences slip through). DNA. The Doctor is not perfect; the question What do I think happened? Andy can “Am I a good man?” weighs heavily on him. But love Rose in a way the Doctor couldn’t because is it not likely that a Doctor/Human hybrid will they will both be sharing a finite span of time be more susceptible to negative emotions, that together. But Andy will no doubt be restless, he they will be more likely to break the rules and will have all of the Doctor’s memories up until their own moral code for personal gain? The (presumably) the moment he regenerated in twelfth incarnation of the Doctor, who in part “ ” and being confined to one helped birth Andy, did go on to try to break the planet in one time zone may begin to chafe, no laws of time by interfering with the fixed matter how much the opportunity to at last be historical point of the loss of all hands at Bowie with Rose may compensate for that. We also Base on Mars in “ ” If the know that Andy has much more overt anger actual Doctor is capable of stumbling, how and aggression within himself (relative to the much easier will Andy find it? Doctor) and is more susceptible to human foibles. The Valeyard is the Doctor! (Sort of) Rose dies before the Doctor. Even with his curtailed lifespan, his Time Lord genes still The had the adventure on Raval- give him more of a boost than the average ox where he almost uncovered the Time Lord’s human, and he can expect to easily live past involvement and so it was this incarnation that 100. Hopefully, Rose died peacefully in her was taken out of time and put on trial. The sleep, but either way, Andy is devastated by the Time Lords needed someone who knew the loss. Having finally lived a life the Doctor could Doctor well and who would gain from his never live, he nonetheless outlived another death. But it needed to be someone whose gain human, the death of another being weighing would not be to the detriment of the interests down on him. Andy will also have to face for of the High Council, which is why they couldn’t the first time what the Doctor hasn’t yet had to turn to any other rogue Time Lord such as the do . . . his own impending mortality. When the Master or . time comes, there will be no regeneration, this allowed the Time Lords to death will be final, no more Andy. have near-omniscient knowledge. The High The death of Rose and fear of his own Council wanted to preserve this position of death create a deadly cocktail. What if he could power especially as they know there are others get his regenerations back, what if he could get out there who want to steal it for themselves, Rose back and what if he could meet Rose and who may not be as supposedly benevolent much earlier in his own life than he originally to the universe as they are. They know full well had? What would this most human of Doctors that their Temporal with the Daleks do to get back the love of his life, craving just will soon become a hot war. They also have another day, another hour, another minute with knowledge that Gallifrey falls at the hands of a the woman he loves? Rose Tyler crossed dimen- renegade Doctor, admittedly taking all the Daleks with them, but not exactly ideal. They final resting place, and he has no idea of use their knowledge to scan the Doctor’s future knowing how soon the trip to Trenzalore may timeline for any chance to alter his actions and come. find the perfect candidate to take the Doctor The knowledge of the Matrix has its down: himself. limitations precisely because Gallifrey is de- The Time Lords make Andy an offer he stroyed and/or transported to a parallel pocket can’t refuse. If he will use his knowledge of the universe. As far as the Matrix can tell, thirteen Doctor against himself, as well as use the Doctors try to either save or destroy Gallifrey powers of manipulated evidence from the Ma- and that the thirteenth incarnation dies on trix, the Time Lords will “execute” the Doctor; Trenzalore. in actuality, they will recycle all his remaining When the Master says the Valeyard regeneration energy into Andy and give Andy comes from between the twelfth and final his own TARDIS with which he can go and incarnation he is saying so with the knowledge travel the universe with Rose. Out of harm’s he has also stolen from the Matrix. He cannot way, the High Council’s secrets will be pre- see a fourteenth or even fifteenth incarnation served, and they can strengthen their position because the Matrix cannot extend that far. It’s to alter the future and ensure they are the also worth noting that given Time Lord biolo- victors in the Time War. gy, such a thing would appear to be impossible, The Master was telling the truth so far and there is no reason the Master would sus- as he knew it. The Valeyard is the Doctor, an pect otherwise. amalgamation of his darker side between his The Doctor should have died on Trenza- twelfth and final incarnation. It’s interesting lore at the end of his thirteenth incarnation. that the Master would say darker side to push Instead, he managed to find Gallifrey again, the Doctor’s buttons, but perhaps he could at even if momentarily, and through intervention least sense that this Doctor’s moral compass on Clara’s part, the Time Lords were able to was a lot less Time Lord than usual. gift the Doctor a brand-new regeneration cycle in the hopes that he could find and rescue them But what about the Twelfth Doctor then? more permanently in the future.

Of course, we know that the thirteenth incarna- What happens to the Valeyard? tion of the Doctor, better known to us as the , wasn’t the final incarnation. That the Valeyard looks a lot like Michael It’s important to remember, however, that he Jayston rather than David Tennant is easy very nearly was. When the Doctor regenerates enough to explain. Time Lords have shown an for the twelfth time, as far as he is concerned ability to recognize themselves should their it’s the final time he’ll be able to do that. It different incarnations meet (no matter how perhaps explains why he hung on for life for so much they might want to initially deny it, long and made a point of visiting all his friends, presumably out of some form of embarrass- he knew he might not get another chance. It ment), and the High Council couldn’t risk this also explains why the Eleventh Doctor feels so with the Valeyard. The Matrix was already mortal and why the horror of his grave on being manipulated to produce false evidence; it Trenzalore is so palpable; it’s not just his final was relatively simple for the Matrix to alter resting place, it’s specifically this incarnation’s

1 A Time Flight perhaps? Salvadorkatz can be found AT 2 And later Richard Hurndall, David Bradley and an uncredited child actor in the episode “ ” but let’s not try to overcompli- https://salvadorkatz.deviantart.c cate things! om/ perception so that the Valeyard was unrecog- nizable. With his identity exposed, the Valeyard flees into the Matrix, followed by the Doctor. After a battle of wits the Valeyard appears to die in an almighty explosion, though this would appear later to have been a Matrix projection. He is alive and well. If the Valeyard is Andy, then he is still very much mortal and will no doubt be back for another chance to regain the ability to regenerate and the chance to find Rose again. This obsessive love will drive him forward, unstoppable as there is nothing any- one can do to prevent the catharsis of spurious morality!

Recommended watching

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The Terrible Zodin 40 Art by Steven Sautter Art by Miss-Alex-Aphey as happened in , it doesn’t quite keep that up. PDA for the PDAs That’s two Seventh Doctor and stories (A PUBLIC DISPLAY OF AFFEC- to suffer from this: one hopes it’s not a trend. The momentum and tightness of plot and TION FOR THE PAST DOCTOR character goes out the window somewhat, espe- DVENTURES cially once the main Big Bad Alien of A ) the Week fully reveals itself. Gone is the tense By Nick Mellish pace, conspiracy, intrigue and slow reveal, to be re- placed with a lot of gratui- Well, here we are: ten books into this tous violence, glass being range of past adventure Doctors with every broken, death aplenty, and incarnation having had at least one look-in, exposition. Plus some and we’re in traditional territory again. ghosts. There’s a quaint English village with a This is a bit crushing secret, a reverend who knows more than as, frankly, at times he’s letting on, psychic energy, and shady it’s just not all that government types. good. I understand You would think this is a that the start of a full and adventure from those trappings, take-over and ensuing and indeed the authors were responsible for miniature apocalypse the book which opened this range starring that ne eds to be epic, but the exact coupling, but no. rapidity of it all and the sudden by jumps in location and character is a tale for the Seventh Doctor from par- agraph to paragraph and Ace, though it’s admittedly a sequel of does not make for a cohesive or sorts to “ ” and “ especial- ly fun read. In addition, ,” two stories that share some DNA, so some nu- anced characters (not it makes sense in some ways for this to follow wholly evil, but certainly not whit- suit in that regard. er-than-white) are reduced to fodder for scare- This is a far stronger novel from Top- crows, and their characters lack by ping and Day than was. The the end. It’s a real shame, though not enough dialogue for the Seventh Doctor and Ace is to undo the fantastic start to proceedings. spot-on and the use of spirits from the past, It feels at times as if there are two stories racism and trying to see beyond the small here vying for attention: the one with the nasty occurrences to take in the bigger picture feels village, duplicitous school teachers, corrupt at home for the era, even if the explicit nature politicians and small-time crooks, and the one of the violence and references to sex are at with the alien ghost from the past, the creature odds with that. with huge tentacles beneath the grass, and the The novel is split into four parts to walking folk-tale scarecrows, the hollow men further keep that air of authenticity about mentioned in the story’s title. It would be a lie things, and the first two-and-a-half episodes are to say the two worlds don’t merge well at times, some of the most readable and enjoyable pages but the second part is far weaker than the first. of prose this range has given us. Sadly, much It’s the second part that tends to be responsi- ble, too, for moments where continuity refer- ences from the past are flung in for no reason at all. For example, both the and Draconians get mentioned in the space of a few lines out of nowhere midway through, and there’s a typo where Steven Taylor’s first name is given as Stephen, which only adds in- sult to injury: if you’re going to chuck in these moments (and I have no idea why they did), then at least get them right. I understand wishing to add to the mythology of the show and using its past as the founda- tions, but when it’s gratuitous it just takes me out of the story completely and makes the Doctor’s universe and the am- bition of both these novels and their writers seem awfully small and navel-gazing. This is all negative, though, and that should not be the case. I cannot stress enough how good the start to it all was. The first 200-or-so pages are brilliant, and I found it hard to end one chapter without immediately starting the next. That’s worth cele- brating. It may not be perfect, and in that regard it may disap- point, but this tenth novel in the range remains a worthy read. In 2009, I designed a costume for myself playing the Doctor (if you Z can’t dream big, what can you do?). I decided to rework those drawings for the Thirteenth Doc- tor. I doubt she’ll be wearing anything like these outfits, but we shall see . . . –ED. How to Make a Fanzine by Leslie McMurtry

“It is, they tell you, addictive. You get obsessed, it takes you over, you get hooked, it becomes a way of life, it gets out of control.” --football fanzine editor quoted by Jeremy Seab- rook, The Leisure Society by a woman, ; the editor, Jane Purdon, now works for the British football “WE CAN’T ORGANISE YOU—ORGANISE Premier League as Director of Governance. YOURSELVES.” --Moul/Mole Express, 1970 The Manchester-based punk ‘zine was eventually split down the middle when two staff As an academic who has finally gotten beyond members, Liz Naylor and Cath Carroll, pursued HPL status (hourly-paid lecturer, or as we a “stylist” focus, while the other two, Andy Zero would say in the US, a teaching assistant), I’ve and Martin X, defended a subculture focus found myself having to teach a course outside , edited by Jackie Marshall and my specialty. Nevertheless, there are some Val Douglas, must surely be a riff on the perks: I’ve managed to finagle a lecture on alternative magazine which had a feminist fanzines. While I wrote a book chapter on takeover in 1970 and was never again edited by women and fanzines, I ap- men. Another fanzine, proached that firstly from a practical perspec- ran articles that referenced feminist Sheila tive (by virtue of being ’s editor) and came Rowbotham, the only female member of alter- to the research perspective later. So in brush- native magazine , who left in dis- ing up on my fanzine lore, I’ve learned many gust in 1969 (with parting words that I can’t interesting things from across the fanzine print in ). “In fact the underground press spectrum. It’s also made me contemplate why was even more exploitative than the straight we read, write, and edit ‘zines, and especially press” Marsha Rowe stated (Phillips 52). Wom- how radical fanzines could be, and often were. en quickly became critical of “many of the men The first fanzines were places for fans to in activist and countercultural circles, who were discuss their favorite science fiction and horror slow or reluctant to realize the implications of literature and comics, writing about collections feminist articulations of power” (McKay 49). I like , and thus arose in the believe this is why fanzines in the US were, by 1930s. Fanzines really got going in the UK in contrast, so female-oriented: with the radical the 1970s and 1980s via football (soccer) and counter-culture scene in the 1960s and 1970s punk culture, though in the US they seem to 1 2 have continued to be based around science (comix , alternative press ) so dominated by fiction and fan fiction (primarily men, women found spaces in fanzines based on and, naturally, ). Inter- their love of media, for example, space to read estingly, fanzines in the UK were much more and write Kirk/Spock slash (in titles like likely to be edited by men. This is true for , , , and ) or football, punk, and fanzines. to produce artwork and fiction in There was at least one football fanzine edited Speaking of the hard copy fanzines, in their and many others. scrappy cut’n’paste aesthetic, they strike me as “The people who make and read zines more authentically radical or alternative; after do not fit easily into one demographic group” all, Chris Atton says, “There is evidence to (Haegele 109), as is already obvious from this suggest that the e-zine is not an equal replace- round-up. What all these fanzines share is ment for its printed predecessor” (68). Copies passion, community, and the desire to DO of are, I know, long, expensive to print something. “At the heart of zine culture is not out, and unwieldy in A4; someday, when I’m the study of the ‘other’ (celebrity, cultural, rich, I’ll be able to afford printed copies of all object or activity) but the study of self, of the issues of What the riot grrrrl fan- personal expression, sociality and the building zines, many of the football fanzines (“is not the of community” (Atton 55). These descriptions content of most football fanzines radical to of fanzines resonated with me when I read some degree?” [Atton 15]), and especially the them as they highlighted both the emancipato- punk fanzines often exhorted their readers was ry and potentially egotistical nature of fanzines! to “do it yourself”: readers were empowered The fanzines’ “purity of expression,” according and encouraged to become makers themselves. to Atton, was as much about expressing the That is, potentially, what is so special about editor’s personality as it was about educating or fanzines. communication to others. (55). I’ve been wanting to write a feature on Another thing that fanzines have in the process of editing for awhile, so now common is that “there is little interest amongst I’m going to segue into that section of the most zine producers in profit” (Atton 59). article. Much as I enjoy academic writing, I Fanzine-makers are likely to invest more than enjoy cutting loose with writing forms, too, and just time and effort--“despite the use of free mixing things up (I’ve been reading and writ- software, online opportunities, and reader-dis- ing fan fiction since 1997, after all!). So, tributor networks, zine makers and distributors without further ado, your media still have considerable costs in producing and history/analysis article now becomes a DIY circulating their products, such as buying article! Ta da! equipment and resources” such as PagePlus, HOW TO EDIT A FANZINE: Assum- the software upon which this fanzine is edited ing that you have already established certain (Chidgey 31). While was never an A5 important first-issue considerations (will it be a print fanzine (the PDF fanzines got called paper ‘zine or a PDF ‘zine? What desktop “posh” in comparison!), I have always felt like publishing program or word processor will you it participated in a gift economy; we may not use to edit? What will your house style be?) we have sent hard copies and SASEs to can move on to how the edition is usually or or assembled. This is the process I go through in exchange for copies of their each time after I’ve announced there will be fanzines3, but I did feel a reciprocity was ex- another and such-and-such is the . pected: either through direct gifts or feedback or through intangible rewards such as For the first issues of , I was basically self-esteem, reputation, mutual aid, rec- confined to people I already knew in real life. ognition from the community, or the Now, social media makes it much easier (!). expectation that the community as a Nevertheless, as many of you who have worked whole will produce more goods to share on a fanzine previously will know (Steven (Chidgey 32). Sautter and Lori Jansen!), sometimes soliciting content is like pulling teeth. People are often too busy, or just not that bothered anymore, to when I ask whether their artwork can be fea- put in the time and effort. tured in (I tell them, of course, that there are no financial rewards), but Art by Deborah Taylor usually people are happy with the ar- Some editors aren’t control rangement. There freaks perfectionists like I may be other ways am (Atton suggests that to get art, but I fanzine editors are both don’t know them. “structure-grazers” and “structure-builders”) and will accept a general stand- ard of intelligibility. If you have any aspirations to- For a long time, I ward consistency and you used Word because have readers from different it was available. backgrounds (for example, When the files English speakers from the began to get too US, UK, and Australia), you large and too com- will expend considerable plex for Word (I time erasing extra “u”s. remember some is- Different editors have dif- sues, Jamie and I ferent approaches to how were staying up much editing of contribu- past be- tors’ work they will actually cause Word kept do, but occasionally that crashing), I decided can be time-consuming if to invest in PageP- you have a writer with bril- lus. liant ideas but who strug- Sometimes the editor starts to have the person- From gles to express him/herself clearly. ality of King Hydroflax when proofreading . . . my days Naturally, people are contributing with working their only reward being the intangible ones on , I knew my way around desktop discussed above, so you cut everyone some publishing but couldn’t afford InDesign or slack (including yourself). Quark Xpress. The nice thing about desktop publishers as opposed to Word is that you can set up page frames to your own specifications (including number of columns), and you can One of the reasons I thought I could start a link text boxes. This can also be a huge pain if fanzine was because I can draw.1 When you you edit out of order as opposed to beginning- can write and draw, you can create a fanzine to-end. You can end up with dozens of linked without having to rely on anyone else (though text boxes sitting on the margins of your writing and drawing everything gets exhaust- project, and you’ve completely forgotten in ing). So, you have to find other artists. what order they’re linked. Desktop publishers DeviantArt has been a godsend in that depart- have a better ability to handle large images, ment, and has enabled me to get in contact large amounts of text, and complex page set with hundreds of talented artists worldwide. ups. You can also create tables of contents, Occasionally an artist will respond negatively indices, and other cool features. However, this is why I delay starting on pasting the actual of these expressions can be understood literal- magazine together until as many of the contri- ly, as there is no “pressing” involved (as there butions are in as possible, otherwise I will just would have been were we working with a confuse myself later trying to put things in the printing press). In PagePlus, you press right order. “Print/PDF Preview,” and you have basically gone to press. With PDF fanzines, you have to find somewhere to upload them and store them When I started , I naively thought that I and make them available for download. Drop- would write all the editorials when I wrote my box has served that purpose, although one day other pieces. Now I know better: best (and very soon I’m going to run out of room on usually most practical) to leave the editorial mine and will have to invest ($£) in more writing for last. Occasionally, there are also storage. edited pieces that need links, so I leave those for the end, too. You can always beef up word count or shrink down at that stage, to avoid I’m not good at publicity. So I leave Jamie in widows and orphans and the horrible moment charge of it, for the most part. He is good at when you suddenly have a completely blank— using Twitter and Facebook to generate inter- save for one line—page, and you have to scram- est in the newest issue of If you can’t ble somehow to fill it with content. self-publicize, find someone who can help, as it’s very important. Once upon a time, when print fanzines were the See Step 2. If possible, have only fanzines that existed, word of others proofread for you, as it’s mouth, ads in other fanzines, and inevitable you’ll miss even obvi- fan community events were proba- ous errors. The first issue of bly the only way to get noticed. I worked on, if mem- ory serves me right, had no typos—except on the cover! Haha. You could be waiting for a Don’t rely on Word’s long time. I inadvertently found grammar/spelling function out that my choice of fonts for (and don’t use those stupid were considered rubbish by another proofreading agencies that ad- fanzine’s designer, but most of the vertise on YouTube). feedback, if it arrives, has been good . . .

In the past, because I am a dinosaur and still use handwrit- ten proofreading marks I Editing fanzines is difficult and learned when working on , I have time-consuming. The rewards are generally written down all the proofing marks, line by intangible: satisfaction at expressing yourself, line, page by page, in a draft edit of so that producing something that can enjoyed for I can go back and input them all. Slow, years to come, making friends, forcing yourself perhaps, but effective. After that’s all done, and to practice creativity (writing, artwork, editing). the fanzine is either as close to perfect as I can Constance Penley talks about the “virus” theory get it, or I’ve given up, it’s done. In magazine of fandom: reading à writing à editing. language, finishing an issue is called “putting it Therefore, it can be a difficult habit to give up. to bed” or “going to press.” Naturally, neither Yet, it is, at the best of times, fun. Further Reading Atton, Chris. . London: SAGE, 2002. Chidgey, Red. “Free, Trade: Distribution Economies in Feminist Zine Networks.” in Time, or a

35:1(2009) 28-37. Reflection on an Haegele, K. “Zines” In Kate Coyer, T. Dow- munt, Alan Fountain (eds.) . London: Routledge, Unpublished 2009: 108-110. McKay, George. “The Social and Countercul- Review tural 1960s in the USA, Transatlantically” In C. Grunenberg and J. Harris (eds). By Tom Bowyer . Liverpool: Liverpool University Press/Tate, Twelve years ago, I got Lego – The 2005: 35-62. Videogame for my birthday. Worming its way McMurtry, Leslie. “Do It Yourself: Women, into my heart with a mixture of simple puzzles, Fanzines, and ” In Paul Booth slapstick humor and some incredibly silly East- (ed.), . er eggs (the disco room is forever enshrined in Bristol: Intellect, 2013: 84-95. my memories, and while some might find a Penley, Constance. “Brownian Motion: Wom- boogieing Jar Jar Binks traumatic, I find it en, Tactics, and Technology” In Constance oddly comforting), Lego , and its Penley and A. Ross, (eds.), various sequels and -offs, became a video Minneapolis: University of Minnesota game franchise that I could draw comfort in Press, 1991: 135-162. during some difficult times. Phillips, A. “The Alternative Press” In Kate -forward to the present day, and Coyer, T. Dowmunt, Alan Fountain (eds.), things are a little different. Due to an incident . Lon- of which only a few know the full details don: Routledge, 2002: 47-58. (namely myself, the editor, 117 members of Arts and Literary Magazine, West- ASIO, the deputy head of particle processing at ern Regional Honors Council, University CERN, and a rather nice woman I met at a bus of New Mexico. stop called Claire), my article for the last issue http://scribendi.unm.edu/?page_id=2 of wasn’t in the final edition. Hence, I am now rewriting an unpublished review of Lego Dimensions, a Lego game that was released in 1 I can’t NOT see the work of Robert Crumb, Spain Rodriguez, 2015 to much critical praise, and at the time of and most of the other underground comix creators as misogynist or sexist or both. my original review, was about to reach new 2 “Look at the paper. I mean, it’s kind of funny. We’re supposed heights. It didn’t, hence the rewrite. to be a left paper yet, if you look at the advertising in terms of women, it’s completely demeaning to women . . . I think there’s a There are many reasons as to why the sense among the reporters and editors that we wish we had a game managed to screw up so badly in its different advertising base, sure. But you know, I’ve never been in an editorial meeting where I’ve heard somebody say, ‘I’ve had it! second year of operation, and they are far too You know, I don’t want to see any more 900 numbers, “call Trixie detailed or speculative to properly explore here. for a good time” ads!’ That’s just not, that’s just not part of it.” Suffice it to say that, after a barnstorming first –Sarah Hernandez, LA Weekly 3 These fanzines sell/sold for the cost of return postage. See year which gave players an exciting adventure http://www.fishcustardfanzine.co.uk/, which is still going, hooray! through various charm-filled universes, allow- Z Art by nia-Nita ing for a wide variety of franchises to get their series that’s been super dark and destructive. own “Lego ,” such as , Instead, it’s been a series about fun, excitement, , and most exciting of all, for and adventure, as the Doctor explores the me, . universe with a rack- Unfortunately, it de- ety old TARDIS. All volved into a glitchy, this meant that the overpriced mess that and Le- represented one of go franchises felt like the final nails in the perfect matches, and coffin for the promis- a Lego ing toys-to-life genre game would almost of video game1. And be perfect. And yet, it is reasons like this when we got the clos- that have meant that est that we could I have had to rewrite hope for in Lego Di- my entire original re- mensions, it wasn’t view. perfect, and I can’t Every nega- help but feel a little tive that I casually melancholic about mentioned in an otherwise praiseworthy piece that. has been blown completely out of proportion. So maybe the best way to rewrite this I mentioned how a minority of franchises felt review is to divorce my personal feelings about uninspired; now it’s half a dozen of them that Lego Dimensions and just focus on the Lego feel shoehorned in. I mentioned how the origi- element (this is a nal cost of the game was a bit pricey, now fanzine after all). And what you get is some- you’re paying £90 for the majority of the levels thing that’s utterly fantastic—exactly what I’d in the second part of the game, on top of the been waiting for ever since I tried to make the original £70 purchase. All of these things, and Tenth Doctor in Lego – The Videog- more, leave me with a gaping hole in my heart, ame. The portions of the game where I once had unconditional love for the feel well-crafted, and full of love, with an appro- Lego video games franchise. That 11-year-old priate amount of attention paid to allowing the who made Jedi Master Plo Koon boogie on the player to just play with the surroundings. You Kamino dancefloor has been replaced with a can find hideouts, the ’s harsh and cynical twenty-something. And the TARDIS, and at least two references to Series worst part is that I’m not actually mad at Lego 25. It’s just fun, a shining bright light amid a Dimensions, I’m just disappointed. sea of mediocrity. All it needs is a Gallifreyan You see, at the core of every Lego game disco Easter egg, and it would be perfect. It’s a there is a great concept. Lego is derived from testament to how much the two franchises really deserve to be together, because they both the Danish leg godt, translating as “play well,”2 have within them that single core of fun and and it is this sense of play that weaves its way exploration. through every Lego game, from Lego So I’m left with a dilemma. On the one to Lego Dimensions. They are fun games hand, I could never outright recommend Lego to play, and it’s the reason why so many people, Dimensions as a video game. It’s over-priced, including myself, wanted a Lego broken, and an overall disappointment. And game (and were happy to settle for yet, when it comes to the content, in Lego Dimensions, I might add) be- and the briefest of glimpses at a Lego cause has never really been a game, I have to give it my full blessing, my dad took a blow torch to an umbrella to because it’s everything that I ever wanted when create my very own question-mark handle. I I was a kid. It’s able to take me back to those would spend hours running around the house days of playing Lego on my Playsta- pretending to be the Doctor. tion 2. So I’ll say the game’s like this review—a I loved Ace, too. She was my hero, with rewrite. There are parts where there’s hope and her gung-ho attitude, love of nicknames and— fond memories, and parts where you’ll bang with hindsight, somewhat worrying—preoccu- your head against the wall because of stupid pation with blowing things up. I did have a decisions made by the developers. And at the baseball bat, and when I wasn’t running around end of the day, that hope still remains for a being the Doctor, I would switch to being Ace proper Lego game. At the very and spend time bashing imaginary Daleks to least, they’re going to need to add a Jodie bits with the baseball bat. I never dressed up as Whittaker mini-figure. Ace, though. I secretly wanted to, because her bomber jacket was, excuse the pun, totally ace. Z But little boys don’t dress up as girls. At the time of writing, it’s been two months since the announcement of Jodie Whit- taker as the next incarnation of the Doctor. As we live in the world of instant reaction and 140 character limitations, opportunities for nu- anced discussion were often lost in bashing the side you disagreed with this. One of the most Doctor Who - a high profile casualties of this “controversy” was Peter Davison, flamed off of Twitter for being Hero for the Boys sexist, with Colin Baker seemingly leading the charge. Except he didn’t say anything of the sort, but balanced comments make less of an (and the girls) exciting clickbait headline compared to “COL- IN BAKER SLAMS DINOSAUR DAVISON.” By Jamie Beckwith For quite a long time, many years ago I was in the camp that would react with disbelief I first watched when I was six at the suggestion that the Doctor could regen- years old, and “ ” erate in to a woman. The Doctor is a man, he was on telly. It was love at first sight. I was always has been, why would he suddenly be- instantly hooked, and I realize that this time come a woman? One day, I can’t remember next year, I will have been a fan when, the topic came up again ,and I stopped for 30 years. to actually ask myself why the Doctor couldn’t I loved the Seventh Doctor. He was my be a woman. While the process wasn’t as neatly hero with his enigmatic smiles and mysterious summarized, here it was essentially “Hang on a eyes, hidden beneath a layer of pratfalls. My minute, Jamie, are you telling me that you can mum dutifully knitted me my own question- buy into the idea that a Time Lord from the mark jumper and bought me a straw hat, and planet Gallifrey can cheat death by means of regenerating every single cell in his body and 1 The toys-to-life genre is a horrific hybrid between video games and collectible figures. Rather than just buying a game, you are becoming literally a new person, but you can’t compelled to buy physical toys as well, which unlock additional buy that the metamorphosis of every cell is content in the game, with the intention being that kids can play with the toys in real life, then play with them in the game. done in such a way that it might affect his 2 You learn something new every day! --ED. genitalia? That’s literally the stupidest reason “I think it’s a fantastic opportunity for her not to be on board with the idea.” and I think that it will be hard for some fans to A quick digression at this point to get it adjust to it. As I said before, it’s difficult to adjust over and done with, but I to any new Doctor, but I think we can safely assume think the important thing that in all incarnations thus is that those are uncertain far the Doctor has a penis fellows, those who are un- and testicles. My reasoning certain should be encour- is from evidence in the show aged to watch it with an itself. In “ open mind . . . I don’t ” somebody at Ash- know, I feel . . . I think bridge Cottage Hospital un- the time for discussion dresses the Doctor in order about that is past. They’ve to put him in a hospital made the announcement. gown. In trying to treat the Jodie Whittaker is , x-rays show the Doc- Doctor and that’s great! tor has two hearts and blood “I feel . . . if I feel samples that don’t match any doubts about it, it’s the anything human. Given loss of a role model for these mysteries, you’d think Art by Jamie Beckwith boys, who I think Dr. Henderson would also is vitally important for. So I feel have mentioned the lack of obvious genitalia. a bit sad about that, but I understand the argu- The same is true in “ ,” the and ment that you’ve got to open it up, so that’s abso- “ ” when an uncon- lutely fair enough. So she has my best wishes and scious Doctor is stripped and put in new cloth- full confidence. I’m sure she’ll do a wonderful job. ing. Witness also “ ” when “As a viewer, I kind of like the idea of the would surely not have been shy at Doctor as a boy, but then maybe I’m an old-fash- pointing out if the naked Doctor was construct- ioned dinosaur. Who knows? But I think that’s ed contrary to expectations. irrelevant now. The time for discussion is over. Having examined the question in my We have a new Doctor. And let’s give her our full own head, there was clearly no in-universe support. impediment to the Doctor regenerating in to a “I would encourage them to watch. I think woman. Out of universe, the only reason the there’s too much . . . you know on the Internet . . . Doctor had always been a man is because there there’s too much bile coming from both sides. And are very few science fiction / fantasy series with too many people are being horribly sexist about it, female leads and because on a much wider and too many people are saying, ‘Well, we don’t scale we still in 2017 live in a society that is care about you. You’re old-fashioned. Go away and heavily gendered with proscribed roles for each watch something else.’ I think fans who are doubt- gender to fit into. Sure, there’s a concerted ful, who are uncertain should be encouraged and push-back going on at the moment, when roles welcomed. And just approach it with an open are “controversial” or that old favorite “political mind. correctness gone mad.” “She’s a terrific actress. And you can abso- Let’s return to Peter Davison’s suppos- lutely understand it. Look, someone rings you up . . edly sexist comments. This is a transcript of his . I know this feeling . . . someone rings you up answers when asked for his opinion on Whit- one night. You’re sitting at home and they say taker’s casting at San Diego Comic Con. ‘how would you feel about being the next Doctor Who?’ It’s a fantastic opportunity, so of course, she grabs it with both hands. I’m sure she’ll do a won- Colin Baker as a hero when I believe they were derful job!" essentially both pointing to the uniqueness of the Doctor as a hero. This is worlds away from saying the Doctor We are, of course, still stuck with the shouldn’t be a woman. It’s certainly not as most problem of boys are only role models for boys, tabloids have branded it “hitting out at the and girls are only role models for girls. I will BBC” nor is it a defense of anyone writing off address that, but it is important to also ac- the new Doctor for sexist reasons. knowledge how important representation is. What is interesting is his lamenting of Seeing someone just like you doing fantastic the loss of the Doctor as a role model for boys. things can be an amazing liberator. If you’re a In that comment is a mirror on the notion that fan then you may be familiar with the we as a society have gender role models with stories of the doors Nichelle Nichols opened in built-in constraints. Boys are role models for her role as Lieutenant Uhura. A black woman boys, and girls are role models for girls. I’d be aboard the starship Enterprise in a key position wary of putting words in to Mr. Davison’s aboard the command crew. It’s true that Uhura mouth, as too many have done that already, but is by no means the most fleshed out character, I think he meant that the Doctor was a non- but in 1966 in the United States of America her traditional role model for boys. Unlike his presence said “Black citizens and woman will immediate contemporaries James Bond and be a part of the future. The inequality that Captain Kirk, the Doctor wasn’t overtly sexual, exists today will be gone tomorrow.” That value he never carried a gun, he rarely got in to fist is emphasized by the presence of Lieutenant fights and he preferred peaceful methods of Sulu (the Japanese having been a recent ene- solving problems to violence. This is, of course, my) and Ensign Chekov (the Russians being a an idealized version of the Doctor, as you can current enemy) working together in harmony. find plenty of examples to disprove it, just as The Enterprise wasn’t conquering strange new it’s somewhat unfair to paint Kirk as nothing worlds, it was exploring them and making more than a “we come in peace, phasers set to friends with the myriad of species it encoun- kill” womanizer. But it would be fairer to say tered. Uhura inspired Martin Luther King who that Kirk and Bond conform far more to an implored Nichelle Nichols not to quit after one easily understood cultural representation of season because she gave a face to the unseen; masculinity than the Doctor ever did. she inspired Whoopi Goldberg who went on to Even if that’s not what Peter Davison become a world famous actress after seeing meant, then the answer isn’t: well the Doctor Nichols play a role that wasn’t subservient, and should remain male forever. It’s to start de- she inspired Mae Jamison who went on to manding better male role models for boys become the first African American woman in rather than leaving it to the Doctor to carry this space. These roles do matter. There will be burden alone. Women are demanding better millions of little girls out there who will discov- role models for girls, and it’s great that the er for the first time when Jodie Doctor is going to be a part of this. Colin Baker Whitakker hits our screens as the Thirteenth was somewhat critical of Peter Davison’s com- Doctor, and they will be inspired. They will see ments that the Doctor was a role model for the Doctor who can travel anywhere and any- boys, thinking the Doctor should be a role when in the universe and be inspired to say model for everybody, but when pressed further “nothing will confine me.” he did admit that part of the reason he was so Inevitably, there is a backlash. One com- happy was that his daughters would have a mentator I saw was dismissive of casting a female role model. It seems Peter Davison has woman as the Doctor, writing it off as stunt been rather unfairly painted as a villain and casting to appease the politically correct bri- gade and noting, “Girls already have Wonder identified with Gabrielle, she was goofy and Woman so what more do they want?” Girls awkward but ultimately she overcame this, and have ? Boys have Superman, this gave me hope. Thing is, until now I’ve Batman (and Robin), Spider-Man, Iron Man, never really admitted to the connection I felt to Captain America, Ant Man, Thor, Silver Surfer, both Xena and Gabrielle precisely because the Daredevil, Wolverine, Black Panther, Green message I got as a teenage boy was that I Arrow, the Flash, Captain Kirk, Hawkeye, Dr. should be into far more masculine pursuits. As Strange, Nick Fury, the Hulk, Aqua Man, Iron a red-blooded teenager, if I was watching Fist, The Punisher, James Bond, Jack Reacher, it should have only been to , Dom Toretto, Rick Grimes, Sher- lust at Lucy Lawless, rather than wanting to be lock Holmes, and four Teenage Mutant Ninja the (admittedly sword-wielding, chakram-throw- Turtles. But, yeah, it’s definitely girls who are ing) princess. Even now in 2017, there is part being greedy! of me that has been conditioned by society not Of course Wonder Woman isn’t the to admit that I identified strongly with a female only female sci-fi fantasy hero out there. character, lest that call into doubt my sexuality There’s , Buffy, Xena, Black Widow, or suggest I am not comfortable being male. Storm, Rogue and the latest quartet of Ghost- Luckily, in 2017 I also know how ridiculous that busters. But sounds. , Right now one of and the fandoms I’m really in are to is . I really off the air. Black Widow, identify with Officer Storm and Rogue are all Judy Hopps who is not members of predomi- only female, but also a nantly male ensemble tiny little bunny rabbit. teams. Only Supergirl You know what? I don’t has her own ongoing TV care. I listen to Shakira’s series. Wonder Woman “Try Everything” from isn’t getting a second the soundtrack movie until Christmas over and over because I 2019, and at the time of like its message. Try writing a new hard, and if you fail, try movie with Yat- again. It’s a very es, Gilbert, Holtzmann message as well. and Tolan as the leads seems Art by Jamie Beckwith The Doctor tries, and he usu- increasingly unlikely. True, ally muddles through and ulti- not all the male heroes I listed above have mately he never gives up. current franchises either, but most of them do We should aspire to have heroes in and most of them are instantly recognizable. fiction to serve as role models for boys and We aren’t there yet. We certainly girls. If a character can inspire you to do weren’t there when I was growing up. Even something then you’ve probably made a writer aged six, while I very much wanted to dress up and an actor very happy. The Doctor is a great like Ace, I knew as a boy that I shouldn’t. As an role model for boys and girls anyway. That the awkward mid-teen I loved next incarnation will be a she won’t change that , and I actually wanted to be Xena. I wanted and if anything is likely to bring along many to jump around beating up bad guys and more new fans. For a show where the main shouting “ai-ai-ai-ai-ai!” as I did so. In reality I character isn’t so overtly gendered (whie none- theless recognizing the society in which it was created and which inevitably relied on gen- dered stereotypes which saw the female com- panions in the early days reduced to screaming or making hot beverages) there is an impres- sion that its fandom is still predominantly male. Of those male fans there is a contingent who we can’t pretend aren’t sexist; just witness the glee which many of them expressed when Peter Capaldi was cast at the Doctor as it meant fandom would finally be rid of those pesky females who were only watching to squee at David Tennant’s haircut (a somewhat hypocrit- ical stance as I guarantee these men only watch “ ” to see Peri in a bikini). How big that contingent is remains to be seen. Ultimately, in my view, they’ve never cast a bad actor as the Doctor. Sure, there are Doctors I like more than others, but there’s not been a single one who’s ever failed to convince me he is the Doctor. Given that 50-plus year track record, I’m sure they know what they’re doing in casting Jodie Whittaker. I love the Doctor. I loved him more when he was Sylvester than when he was any- one else, but I love them all. I’m sure I will love Jodie. I still love Ace, and I still want to be her. I love , and I identified with her, her unrequited love story is universal. We’ve all been there, boys as well as girls. I hope that the Thirteenth Doctor will inspire thousands of children for many years to come, and that all the men and women who come after her will do. Now where can I get an authentic Ace- style jacket from? Z Artists Index

Andrew, Steve back cover Beckwith, Jamie 51, 53 Di Polvere, Dita 23, 31 McMurtry, Leslie cover, 13, 25, 43 Miss-Alex-Aphey 27, 42 MistressAinley 22 Nia-Nita 11, 49 Orchideacae 10 RaRo81 15 Salvadorkatz 36 Saquero, Angel 8 Sautter, Steven 4, 5, 7, 17, 19, 24, 28, 30, 35, 41 Taylor, Deborah 46

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A not-for-profit fanzine edited by Leslie McMurtry 2017 ¬ Despite what the Joker says about not doing what you're good at for free, thanks to the talents of Steve Andrew, Jon Arnold, Melissa Beattie, Jamie Beckwith, Thomas Bowyer, Devon Torrey Bryant, Dita Di Polvere, Jacob Burger, Will Forbes, Matthew Kilburn, Kristin King, Heather McHale, Nick Mellish, Miss-Alex-Aphey, MistressAinley, Nia-Nita, Orchideacae, RaRo81, Angel Saquero, Steven Sautter, Deborah Taylor, Aya Vanden- bussche, and Lee Wells, you have hours of fun, gratis. Isn't the world a beautiful place?

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