How to Help Your Loved Ones Enjoy Death and Go Happily to Their Next Rebirth
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HOW TO HELP YOUR LOVED ONES ENJOY DEATH AND GO HAPPILY TO THEIR NEXT REBIRTH A HANDBOOK BY LAMA ZOPA RINPOCHE Helping our loved ones at the time of death is the best service we can offer them, our greatest gift. Why? Because death is the most important time of life: it’s at death that the next rebirth is determined. LAMA ZOPA RINPOCHE LAMA THubTEN ZOPA RINPOCHE HOW TO HELP YOUR LOVED ONES ENJOY DEATH AND GO HAPPILY TO THEIR NEXT REBIRTH A HANDBOOK BY LAMA ZOPA RINPOCHE Compiled and edited by Robina Courtin FPMT INC. 1632 SE 11th Avenue, Portland, OR 97214 USA Produced as a free PDF with the permission of Wisdom Publications, Boston, who will be publishing this material as a book entitled Preparing for Death: How to Meet Life’s Final Challenge Without Fear in 2016. Download the PDF from fpmt.org/death/ TexT in ParTs One ThrOugh Five © 2015 Lama Thubten Zopa rinpoche. saDhanas eTC. in ParT six © 2015 FPMT inc., except: Practice 33: © 2001 ven. george Churinoff. Practice 34: © 2007 ven. george Churinoff. Practice 64: © 2002 Jesse Fenton. Practice 65: © 2002 vesna a. Wallace and B. alan Wallace. Practice 66: unknown. Practice 67: © 2002 gavin Kilty 2001. Practice 69: unknown. Practice 70: unknown. Practice 71: © 2004 The Maitreya Project singapore. PainTings anD PhOTOgraPhs Page 2: Lama Zopa rinpoche, photo Piero sirianni, 2014. Page 16: shakyamuni Buddha, painted by Jane seidlitz. Page 35: The Compassion Buddha, artist unknown. Page 44: amitabha Buddha, artist unknown. Page 57: Buddha vajrasattva, artist unknown, photo robert Beer. Page 69: guru, buddhas, mantras, created by the author. Page 86: The seven Medicine Buddhas, artist unknown, photo Bob Cayton Page 102: The Thirty-five Buddhas of Confession, painted by Peter iseli. Page 113: shakyamuni Buddha passing away in the lion position; see cover, below. Page 127: Buddha amitayus, painted by Peter iseli. Page 135: Lama Thubten Yeshe, photo Lama Yeshe Wisdom archive. Page 142: Buddha namgyälma, artist unknown. Page 151: Buddha Mitrugpa, painted by Peter iseli. Page 160: Buddha samayavajra, artist unknown. COver shakyamuni Buddha passing away in the lion position. statue in the courtyard of Jamyang Buddhist Centre, London: sculpture, nick Durnan; photograph, natascha sturny. Designed by Mary Moegenburg, M2x, m2xstudio.com. set in scala and scala sans 11/14. CONTENTS EdITOR’S INTROduCTION HOW TO USE THIS BOOK …7 PROLOGuE WE MUST PREPARE FOR DEATH …10 PART ONE HOW TO THINK ABOUT DEATH AND REINCARNATION 1 What Happens After Death? …17 2 Everyone Dies, So There’s No Need to Be Afraid …23 3 Death Is Easy When We’ve Given up Attachment …26 4 Get Ready for Death by Living Life With a Good Heart …30 5 The Best Way to Live and Die: Practice the Five Powers …34 6 Pray to Be Reborn in Amitabha Buddha’s Pure Land …43 PART TWO HOW WE GO FROM ONE LIFE TO THE NEXT 7 What Happens at Death? …49 8 The Twelve Links of Dependent Arising …53 9 The Stages of Death, Intermediate State, and Rebirth …56 10 Death is What the Yogis Have Been Waiting For …65 PART THREE PRACTICES TO DO DURING THE MONTHS AND WEEKS BEFORE DEATH 11 Helping Others at the Time of Death is a Big Responsibility …70 12 Create a Conducive Environment for a Peaceful Death …73 13 The Practices: What to See and Touch …75 14 The Practices: What to Think About …80 15 The Practices: What to Hear …85 16 The Practices: What to Meditate On …94 17 The Practices: What to Do to Purify Negative Karma …101 18 And Finally, What to do During the Hours Before Death …106 PART FOuR PRACTICES TO DO DURING THE HOURS AND DAYS AFTER THE BREATH HAS STOPPED 19 The Practices: What to Do as Soon as the Breath Stops …114 20 The Practices: If Your Loved One Is at Home When They Die …118 21 The Practices: If Your Loved One Is in Hospital When They Die …123 22 The Practices: If Your Loved One Has Offered Their Organs …126 23 The Practices: If Your Loved One Dies Suddenly …131 24 If Your Loved One Has High Realizations and Is Meditating at the Time of Death …134 25 Make Sure the Mind Has Left the Body Before You Move It …139 PART FIVE PRACTICES TO DO AFTER THE MIND HAS LEFT THE BODY 26 How to Prepare Your Loved One’s Body for Cremation or Burial …143 27 The Funeral Service …145 28 How to Bless Your Loved One’s Ashes and Include Them in Holy Objects …147 29 Practices to Do During the Forty-nine Days After Death …150 PART SIX THE ACTUAL PRACTICES, IN NUMERICAL ORDER …159 Notes and Colophons Related to the Practices …380 Glossary of Terms …397 Index of Practices by Category, and Their Numbers …412 EdITOR’S INTRODUCTION HOW TO USE THIS BOOK In this handbook, Lama Zopa Rinpoche gives a huge amount of advice about how to help our loved ones before, during, and after death. And every word of it is to serve one purpose, perfectly expressed in the title: to help our loved ones enjoy death, as Rinpoche often puts it, and go happily to their next rebirth. For a Buddhist, the ideal way to die is to die gradually, contrary to an often-stated view that it’s best to die in our sleep so that we don’t know about it. And the reason is clear: given that most of us live in denial of this natural event, our loved ones need time to get ready for death, at peace and unafraid, so that they can, indeed, go happily to their next rebirth, either a precious human rebirth in which they can continue to practice their spiritual path or rebirth in a pure land, such as Buddha Amitabha’s, in which they can easily become a buddha and thus be qual- ified to perfectly help others. As Rinpoche says in the Prologue: “When suddenly one day one of your loved ones dies and you don’t know what to do to help, you’ll feel so confused, so lost. Knowing how to help others at the time of death is such important education to have.” Because Rinpoche gives so much advice, and because for most of us death is a difficult thing to come to terms with – our loved one’s or our own – working out which practices to do can be daunting. Therefore the actual advice, the things to do, have been identified as eighty-seven dis- tinct practices in Parts Three, Four, and Five, the heart of the book, and are structured chronologically to help us clearly know what to do when. The actual practices themselves, numbered from 1 to 87 – many of which are recommended several times throughout the various stages – are all together in Part Six: the Actual Practices, in Numerical Order. Part One: How to Think About Death and Reincarnation and Part Two: How We Go From One Life to the Next contain Rinpoche’s teachings 7 intro HoW to USE tHiS BooK about what happens at death; how attachment is one of the worst obsta- cles to a good death; the death process itself; the crucial role at the time of death of craving and grasping, two of the twelve links of dependent arising; the need to pray to be reborn in Amitabha’s pure land; and a moving chapter about how the great meditators spend their lives prepar- ing for death because that’s when they can access their subtlest level of consciousness, the clear light, and use it to become enlightened. Fifty-nine of the eighty-seven practices are recommended first in Part Three: The Practices to Do During the Months and Weeks Before Death and are divided into six chapters, which cover what to see and touch, what to think about, what to hear, what to meditate on, what to do to purify negative karma, and, finally, what to do during the hours before death. The next seventeen practices, as well as many of the earlier ones, are recommended for the hours or days that the mind is still in the body. Part Four: The Practices to Do During the Hours and Days After the Breath Has Stopped covers five different scenarios in which our loved ones could die. The practices recommended are essentially the same for each situation, with some variations, but it’s helpful to see them listed clearly for each scenario: if your loved one is at home when they die, if your loved one is in hospital when they die, if your loved one has offered their organs, if your loved one dies suddenly, and if your loved one has high realizations and is meditating at the time of death. The remaining eleven practices, as well as, again, many of the earlier ones, are recommended for the weeks after the mind has left the body. Part Five: The Practices to Do After the Mind Has Left the Body has four chapters, which cover how to prepare your loved one’s body for crema- tion or burial, the funeral service, how to bless your loved one’s ashes and include them in holy objects, and practices to do during the forty-nine days after death. The essence of the incredibly compassionate and wise advice given by Rinpoche during the past forty-five years is here, for us to select from, according to the needs of our loved ones. Even if we choose to simply recite the Medicine Buddha mantra, and nothing else, “understand the essential points,” as Rinpoche advises throughout the book, “and do the best you can.” 8 HoW to USE tHiS BooK intro And, of course, by helping our loved ones prepare for their death and rebirth, we are preparing for our own.