E This newsletter is available online as a 3.3Mb PDF formatted document at: H FALL www.drewprops.com/lowtide T LOWTIDE2000 covering the Southern Film-Scene like a soft, drapey thing of affordable goodness
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NEW YORK - This week the toy-manufacturing industry was rocked by the news that the MEGO Corporation, believed bankrupt and out of business since the early 1980's, had faked the news of their own demise and were in fact working on prototypes for new interactive toys just in time for Christmas 2000. The dramatic photographs shown below indicate that MEGO plans to introduce a complete line of toys based upon the film "Run Ronnie, Run". Our spies brought back photographs of playsets, accessories and lite-brite patterns based on various situations and characters found throughout the film. Spokesman for MEGO, Alan Fong, states that "we were really stung by the bad reception to our Happy Days figures and the T E surprise success of our Dukes of Hazzard line was unexpected. Our HE TR leader decided to pull the plug and re-think our strategy entirely. A Now we're back, we're focused and we believe that we'll be making the best MEGO-style figures you've ever seen!" The grips invite you to their after-lunch performance Specifications on the two toys shown below, 'Bank Heist Ronnie' and series entitled "Tailgate Theatre". Enjoying its 8th 'Clobber-Me Clay" are very nice. Besides looking very much like the successful season, this reading/theatrical series has actors, the figures sport voice chips with over 200 sayings each. The received accolades from many national educational Ronnie figure sticks to walls, clean flat surfaces and to itself. The associations and was recognized by Oprah Winfrey as "Clobber-Me Clay" figure comes with an accessory case filled with "the best fusion of literature and performance that THIS braces, casts and plastic vomit. Both figures come with miniature journalist has ever seen". Taking a cue from the Russian Flynn's beer cans. Conspiratists Theatre of 1906, Tailgate Theatre utilizes existing real-world elements to build their stage sets and real-world items as props. One week a sandbag might represent a bottle of wine, but the next week that very same sandbag might represent a completely different bottle of wine. All of their storylines and scripts are painstakingly arranged by Gary Oldknow from scraps of paper discarded from film sets. As the Voice of Tailgate Theatre, Gary is especially intrigued by the "little stapled books" that he often finds on the ground, or stuffed into apple boxes. He considers these "little books" as his primary basis for every play he composes, often using as many as 16 or more to create one Tailgate story. To disguise any possible inconsistencies between character names, regional settings, time periods or plotlines, Gary uses a great many chase scenes, dream sequences and people getting hit with wine bottles (sandbags). Asked why he uses so many sandbags (wine bottles) in his stories, Gary's only reply was "Figure it out". Make plans to attend next week's performance of "A Man For Many Seasons" starring dolly grip Darryl Humber, the first five people there will get a pre-show look at the latest issue of Penthouse (please respect the five minute rule). PAGE 1 #1 Published in 1486, the Book of Saint Albans listed 146 terms for describing Grab Rail Wheedle groups of animals. With its originations Vanderhoff Nib Finster in hunting, the practice soon became a Fly-Rod Actuator parlor game and young ladies of the time were expected to know dozens of terms Fly-Rod Twist-a-ma-doodle like a skulk of foxes, a murder of crows and an exaltation of larks. Each Fibble descriptor was an attempt to encapsulate a group by one poetically ? all-encompassing term. This practice Figgle has been named "venery" by author James Lipton. Our own staff spent a beer-sodden weekend developing our Dragshaft own venerable terms for each film Trim Tab department and we hope you'll enjoy our (aka Beaver Tab) efforts. If you think you can do better, Treadle make your own stinking newsletter! As noted by actor/comedian David Cross, learning the names for camera parts is no mean feat. Most A chattering of makeup artists 35mm cameras have over five million individual parts and it takes several years to learn all the names of those parts. The LowTide pledges to help you learn the names of these parts in bite-size episodic A grope of grips increments. This month we'll learn 12 new part names. The best way to learn these parts is to touch A wail of ADs them and feel how they work together, so go ahead and experiment the first chance you get. Your A tangle of hairstylists camera department buddies will be very impressed!! An hack of electricians An exasperation of directors Hey my little cha-cha babies! Are you wearing your A swerve of teamsters sunscreen? Do you know what posion ivy looks like? Hey A confoundment of PAs Poppy, you drinking enough Cafe Cubano? Can I put a bandage A fold of wardrobists on that? Here, take my water, you look thirsty. A whisper of sound men It's a big old world and Greggy's here to A testosterance of camera guys look out for ya! Relax.....
By cruel irony, medical science has historically benefited from the carnage of war. REJOICE Many of today's emergency life-saving techniques were learned by doctors on the a poem battlefields of Europe and Asia. Most recently, the lessons of Vietnam informed modern domestic-emergency response teams and ER staffs around the nation. you are a mountainous land Doctor Greg East, on-set medic for "Run Ronnie, Run" is a member of the your people are industrialized Southeastern Association of Film Emergency Technicians (SAFE-T), an Yerevan is your capital organization committed to continuing the innovation of battlefield surgeons by any means necessary. Currently the organization lists only one member, but Dr. East it's your largest city too. states that there has been a "healthy interest" by his peers and that he shortly expects to interview several new candidates for membership. Requirements for legend says that Noah's ark membership are stringent, and getting past the Board of Review for the does rest upon your mountaintops organization is a "real doozy" according to one member who requested anonymity for fear of reprisals. and in your valleys Currently, Dr. East is experimenting with the use of a new technique called "strap people feel deep pride and chap". Using only tourniquets and Chapstick™, Greg claims that ANY ailment can be cured or at least temporarily forgotten. The treatment is simple, the shish kabob and baklava, and can usually be applied in under two minutes depending on the location and magnitude of the injury. First, the patient is lulled into a sense of security by Dr. are your claims to fame East. Once calmed, Greg moves swiftly into the second step: wrapping a tourniquet around the afflicted portion of the patient and tightening it before they you've been invaded by multitudes experience alarm, discomfort or homicidal intent toward the Doctor. Once your people now are scattered distracted and denied blood to one or more parts of their body, Greg applies a liberal amount of Chapstick™ to the injury, a point near the injury, to someone near the injured person, or to anything brightly colored. The point of the be proud oh mighty land of sheep technique isn't as much about healing as it is about "doing the right thing". for your sons now hold the For more information about "strap and chap", becoming a member of SAFE-T or booms of sound simply to "share amenable contact with another human individual" please contact and record the spoken word Greg East immediately. Please. PAGE 2 a continuing series of biographical essays The approaching holiday season reminds us that on every Thanksgiving it is a tradition to surreptitiously fill the Best Boy Electric's workgloves with many tiny candies, fruits and sweetmeats. This tradition originated in 19th century London when gaslighters would fill their gloves with grapes and travel around the city distributing these treats to the less fortunate, cretinous children of that period. The most celebrated of these gaslighters was Sir Christopher Crowe, whose bravery at the Battle of Westerchestershire marked him for Knighthood and whose enormous gloves endeared him to a generation of homeless waifs. It is said that Sir Christopher could fit over two dozen bunches of grapes into his large, cuffed gas-lighting gloves. In a delightful coincidence, our own film company employs Mr. Steve Crowely. While not a Bob Odenkirk sprang from a long line direct descendant of Sir Christopher, it was said of Steve's family that they were so very much like of successful advertising men. It was the Crowe family that they were Crowe-like, or Crowely. It is from this homage-induced lineage his destiny to grow up and inherit the from which Steve springs, and we must indeed honor him with our best attempts to crown him a family-owned ad office, but fickle Fate modern day gaslighter. Toward that end, the LowTide is sponsoring the First Annual Glovestuffer dealt Bob a cruel hand. In a type- Competition. The first entrants to successfully honor Steve by secretly filling his gloves with treats (no liquids please) and photographing their efforts will receive a special surprise from our prize setting blunder that remains shrouded in vaults. Happy Holidays to All!! mystery to this day, Bob's new ad campaign for a well known coffee- maker coincided with a seemingly unrelated string of coffee-drinking deaths along the Eastern Seaboard. Too late to be stopped at the press, the "Choke Full of Nuts" ads hit newstands around the country incensing an already safety conscious nation. Spurred on by his own religious fervor and the death of his Uncle Milo, political activist Prop-truck driver Johnny Poucher Ralph Nader and his lapdog henchmen doesn't work in the film-industry for made certain that Bob was pilloried in money, and he doesn't do it for the front of a bloodthirsty nation. glamour. He does it for the material. "I'm driven to write," confesses the His family business in tatters, his bearded, bespectacled giant of a man. reputation in ruins, Bob fled ever So successful is Johnny in fact, that he westward eventually discovering a new is considered a trophy of sorts to life as a lyricist for an LA-based Moody transportation departments around the Blues cover band "The Moody Dudes". region. Drivers want to know the man Bending his writing skills to music led behind the characters, and hopefully him into new, undiscovered avenues of Poucher first acts out all the driving glean a tidbit or two out him regarding creativity and self-awareness. He scenes he writes about. "I found that pending works of "the man you hate to the folks who read my work really quickly won the hearts of Moody-heads know their truck-driving, so I can't love", trucker/detective Mack Malligan. with "new" songs like "Wednesday skimp on the details!". The Trans-America truckstop chain Afternoon", "Thursday Afternoon", has seen Johnny's murder/mystery "Friday Mid-day" and "Saturday series at the top of their best-seller list for five years running. Says TA president Phil Dunnahoe: "No truck-driving authors can match Poucher's Morning Around 9am". His songwriting writing style, character development or sensitivity to the thoughts and ideas of successes gave Bob newfound the man on the road". The LowTide is pleased to bring you an excerpt from confidence to pursue new goals, and a Johnny's newest novel "The Jake Brake Conspiracy" scheduled to hit cease-and-desist complaint from Justin bookstands in December. Hayward provided him a court- mandated order to do so. In all my years I'd never seen beauty like hers, come on. As she walked toward me out of the choke and puke I knew that this trucker was in love, and I knew Part Two of this biography will be in that this detective had his killer, ten-four? In her cleanest daisy dukes she next month's LowTide. sidled up to my rig, and before she could say a word I felt my load shift. "Are Driven, continued on Page 7 PAGE 3 A SPECIAL LOWTIDE
SCANDAL EXPOSÉ
Now in his "comfortable years" Carl Mazzocone is known as a film-producer and philanthropist. But in his heyday, Carl "Toy- Boy" Mazzocone was a prominent spokesman for the Hagu-San Cereal Concern in Mandu Prefecture Japan.
In the early 1980's the cereal wars was immediate. Hagu-San Cereal raged throughout Asia. The inclusion of Concern skyrocketed to the top spot in toys inside of cereal boxes had become the industry, leaving their rival cereal a near-science and if science it be, then makers far behind. Japan's oldest Carl was the maddest in his field. cereal company Hamama Grain, not Appointed head of the top-secret prepared to compete in the emerging "Premium Control Perfect", Carl toy-cereal marketplace, was forced to recruited the brightest and the best from shut its doors after 386 years in around Japan and from portions of business. In the space of two years, South Korea. His team soon began to five other rival cereal clans collapsed, produce some of the most well-crafted unable to match the product lines from breakfast toys ever conceived. Hagu-San. Then, in the fall of 1985, Resembling tiny model kits, these toys the unthinkable happened. A new often had as many as 140 separate cereal called "Mr. Robot-Man Crunch" parts that children could assemble was introduced, inside, its premium toy Robot-Man Crunch was expected to be a huge success in Japan. The night before its into racecars, jet fighters and giant was a Transfer-Z Super Jump Locust- release, thousands of people camped out at robots. The effect in the marketplace Style Spacey. During the packaging of their local markets so they could be the first the rice-flake cereal filler, a on their block to begin assembling the manufacturing error occurred and 500 included premium. small sharp metal parts for the died from their injuries. The Hagu-San assembly of they toy were directly Cereal Concern was closed by the dumped into the same bag as the government and its surviving executives consumption product. The error was imprisoned. When all was said and not discovered until hundreds of done, over 2,000 children had suffered thousands of boxes had been shipped permanent injury from the ingestion of all over the country, and in a disaster the toy parts. rivaling that of the "Choke Full of Nuts" His pain too profound for words, Carl fiasco in the United States, thousands of stowed away on a cargo ship bound schoolchildren were injured by the for the United States. Upon his arrival
Shown here is a typical page from one of ingestion of hundreds of sharp metallic Stateside, he quickly dropped into the Hagu-San's "Perfect Assembly Manuals". objects. The company was destroyed, shadows until he could rebuild his life Most models could be finished in four hours, literally. Thirty cereal workers were anew in the auto industry. But that's but the more advanced versions (found in Spit Cat Oat Consumption cereal) could injured in the raid, ten of whom later another story. occupy a modeler for up to two weeks. PAGE 4 EVENTS Stills photographer Mark Fellman will be displaying a series at the King Build Your Own Walkie : Lesson One Plow next month entitled "Interference". Mark shot this photo-series In the film "The Return of the Jedi" during the filming of "Run Ronnie, Run" and claims it is his best work to Darth Vader notes that Luke date. In a pre-show party, critics were ecstatic about the images and Skywalker has built his own indicate that a nomination for the artist to the Whitney Biennial is in lightsaber, one of the prerequisites serious discussion. The images are based upon a series of photos from of becoming a Jedi. This concept various movie sets, but each photo is marred in some fashion. Backs of heads, sides of heads, shoulders, arms and butts all form a pattern that was a sly tip of the hat by Star speaks to the human experience of suffering and plight. One photo in Wars creator George Lucas to the particular kept drawing attendees like a magnet. Entitled "Rhea's nose", Director's Guild of America. Since the photo is a terse black and white image of people running. The 1976 the Guild has required its members to build their composition is alarming, the people in obvious panic. Obscuring over a own walkie-talkie before they can rise to the position of third of the left side of the image is an enormous gaping maw. A nostril. First Assistant Director. Over the years, many simple Said attendee and well-known critic Ed Creakey, "This is obviously a statement about modern society's fears and expectations. The way the kits have been produced to meet the demand (notably people run, the way the light slashes across the building's facade, the the StarMaker by HeathKit), and the practice of darkness of the nose. Here I think that Mark is playing double-entendre building your own walkie became little more than a with us. He knows (nose) that we run in fear from many things. Here technicality to many ADs. But there are a new breed of this woman is frightened of her bad hair, this gentleman from weight- Firsts who are rising to their positions by induced sleep apnea. This photo is genius." crafting a radio as originally intended. This The show will open the first weekend in December and will run for three weeks, see Mark Fellman for details. series is designed to help you join the ranks of this new order. To begin with, Stuntman Lonnie Alvin Smith may be locate a walkie manufactured by Motorola. best known for his work for the less Check around set, you'll probably find privileged, but few know of his several from which to choose. Using a secret joy: dentistry. "I admit it," screwdriver, gently remove the knobs and says Smith,"I absolutely love teeth and the repair thereof. I dig it man. by hand, unscrew the antenna. Set Do you remember that stop-motion these parts aside, we'll need them later. Christmas show where that one elf Now, using the screwdriver, remove the exterior casing. guy wanted to be a dentist? Well Disposal of this casing is vitally important. DO NOT that was me when I was seven years dispose of it on set, near set or near anyone working on old! I used to run around the yard with a rusty old pair of my Grand- the movie. Your best daddy's pliers and pretend to pull teeth. When I was 12 I built a working model of the upper palate, when I was 15 I had already built a false bet is to drive several tooth casting rig and was learning to enamel-plate my models. Although miles out of town and I had a lot of learning to do, I kept my family away from big dental bills burn the casing on a until I left to go to college. The teeth I'm wearing right now? I made lonely country road. them myself, and I'm proud of it." Take a look at the electronics package that you've created. It not only CHECK contains a receiver, it also contains a transmitter. This is sometimes called a KV200 transceiver. But we can't ONE! just leave the transceiver exposed to the elements, we'll need to create some sort of covering to Sheila its Yes, I'd like to take advantage of this delicate electronic instruments. Some people like to use plastic shells to house their radios, and some build limited offer and subscribe to the LowTide intricate wooden cases. For our purposes we'll use a Online. I understand that each email edition plastic garbage bag; it's versatile, replaceable and is will be disappointingly less interesting that available in several colors. In next week's installment we'll the printed version and will essentially be a detail the assembly of our walkie and discuss the self-referential vanity publication. fundamental of power supplies. The LowTide doesn't understand the concepts of conduction, resistance, transmittance or induction. It is for No, but tell me more! this reason that we cannot condone in any form or fashion this workshop series. It was only due to its space-filling merits that our editors have allowed it to be published in write to: [email protected] this month's issue. PAGE 5 Our van drivers have finished work and want to go to their favorite hangout, but somehow the roads have been scrambled. Can you get them where they need to go? CARY
C LUB
NIGHT CLUB SEAN
GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS
LINGERIE MODELING ROBERT
PUMPTOWN Connect each driver with the appropriate start circle leading down the twisty road HEALTH CLUB to their destination. Drive safely! CCOONNTTIINNUUIITTYY 110011 Motion Picture film editors prize footage that visually matches from shot to shot, The craft service mascot, with all background dressings maintaining physically proximate relationships to one another. See if you can spot 14 differences between Picture One and Picture a dog-like creature Two! named "Lexi" has been reported as mising. Lexi was last seen standing between a salt shaker and an unstable atom of molybdenum (Mo- #42). Researchers say that Lexi may have stepped into an atomic rift, phase- shifted into a different time rail, or been eaten by an unobservant grip. The search for Lexi has been escalated, and everyone is encouraged to check their pockets, their seat cushions and most PICTURE ONE PICTURE TWO importantly their sandwiches. If you can provide any clues as to the whereabouts of Lexi please contact John or Deliah Carlisle immediately.
PAGE 6 Continued from Driven, Page 3 you lookin' or are you buyin' tonight," I yelped involuntarily. I had been so Mike "Stinky" Lohmann has requested she keened in that gravel-voiced sing- intent on tracking this killer that I that his old nickname be discontinued song of the common lot-lizard. But hadn't thought for my own safety. For in favor of the new nickname "Smell- Mack Malligan was onto her little game. the first time I realized that the parking o" based upon a character from the I knew she wasn't the haggard, lot was empty, that the sun was setting Sid & Marty Kroft television show toothless truckstop prostitute she in a ruddy cloud-flecked sky and that "The Whiffenpoofs". pretended to be…she was in fact a the killer of ten truckers was haggard, toothless truckstop murderer clambering through my window with a Please be advised that the State Film and I'd tracked her to her lair, come on. horrid, toothless puckering sound. Department has issued a heightened Ten good truckers had died on this route risk of nudity by background extras at and I wasn't about to be number eleven. For more on John's books and books-on- this time. Please alert your nearest I studied her face for a long time, too tape, please submit your questions embassy of any potential flashers. long perhaps, copy that? I imagined the directly to Johnny Poucher. Please note socks will be available to flashing years flash back and began to see the that Mr. Poucher will not answer spoken victims. woman she could have been: a haggard, questions, but will instead reply to all toothless, non-murdering truckstop written queries. When he's not November is chipmunk and vole cashier…or maybe a lawyer, my eyes gathering material for his book series, season here in the South. Out-of- aren't as good as they used to be. She Johnny occupies himself fishing on the towners should be aware that these must have sensed my thoughts; sensed Gulf Coast and entertaining friends biting (spitting and leaping) pests can the pity mixed with loathing. For at aboard his yacht. He likes to say that be easily avoided with a spot of care. that moment she jumped up and "my message to the people is Love". Avoid leaving out any food products grabbed my rig.....hard. that might attract these small animals. Come on. Don't sit near open windows, well- traveled corridors or rooms with low- slung ceilings. Try to get out more, MOVE OVER HOWARD HUGHES! and meet people. Scandal brewing over Director's demands Next week will begin Daylight The LowTide has learned that Director Madeline Albright. Mr. Miller's assistant Spending time. Set your clock to a Troy Miller isn't as accessible and friendly must wear a day-glo green t-shirt that time that best suits your own as previously believed. Our intrepid says "Henchman" on the back. Mr. chronological sensibilities and sleep reporting staff has uncovered a list of Miller cannot be photographed without away! Be sure to alert your demands from Mr. Miller's people to the managment team of this decision and his marionette "Pepe". Mr. Miller wants provide a diagram to them of when production company: a toaster built into his director's chair. exactly it is that you'll be coming to Mr. Miller has requested a few changes Mr. Miller wants a really tall hat. Mr. work. be made around monitor. Watching the Miller would like to sing more, especially monitor is a privilege and not a right. during filming. All actors must stop Beginning on Tuesday of next week talking if they hear Troy sing, and if they special monitor passes will be know the song they must accompany him distributed to a select group of film (especially in the deep bass parts that he technicians. A tent will hereunto travel can't hit). Mr. Miller wants to call all with video village, which has been crewmembers by their middle names, renamed "Troy Town" and only those please submit a list of these names to with special passes will be allowed him by mid-week. Please alert the crew inside. This tent must be painted Ford that before speaking to Mr. Miller they Capri Yellow and have the words "Troy should lead off with a knock-knock joke. Town" painted in super-scale letters Mr. Miller wishes to communicate with (typeface to be specified under separate the camera crew strictly using 1950's cover) on the outside and on the inside. cinema-style Indian hand-signals. Mr. Miller requires a go-cart shaped like Between takes Mr. Miller wants a large velvet bag that he can hide beneath. Please enter me into the "Win Kayla's Bikini" contest Today! There is to be absolute silence when Mr. S! Miller tap dances. Mr. Miller's chair is YE only for Mr. Miller. When he leaves his
Name chair it shall become the camera PA's duty to talk to it until his return. Mr. Address Miller is fond of the words "fondue, crisp, fling, glisten, raspy, whisk, impermeable, City State perigee and snatch", please instruct the crew to incorporate these words into Daytime Telephone No. their conversations when talking near All entrants must submit proof of age and an official contest entry fee of $5200. This fee is "Troy Town". Mr. Miller asks that there unavoidable and will be used to offset the costs of printing this fine publication, actual prizes may vary and the words "Kayla's Bikini" do not necessitate that any articles of be no talking near "Troy Town". clothing may actually be rendered as prizes for this contest. This contest is not sanctioned by the LowTide or any of its affiliates, and we believe that the bikini in question should simply be awarded to our crack staff of journalists because they work so doggone hard. PAGE 7 Word reaches the LowTide that the film "Run Ronnie Run" has been awarded the official seal of the A well known and . . R .S prestigious organization .C .B founded for the promotion .A.C.O of comedian Andy Richter. The Trend-setting Italy is at it again. Taking a cue from the foundation known as "A.R.C.A.C.O.B.S." (Andy Richter's popularity of translucent merchandise, most notably Apple Career After Conan O'Brien Show) will distribute pamphlets Computer's iMac, the Italian firm of iGrip has developed a and t-shirts when Mr. Richter arrives on set. new line of lightweight grip equipment that will soon be available here in the United States. An early pilot-program was run out of the Orlando S.U.B.'s TAKING OVER Panavision offices this past Summer. One crew was outfitted with the new new, color-coordinated equipment. Reactions were mixed among the first grip crews using the new kit, while most liked the change, a few were frustrated at the limited color selection. All stands, rails and accessories are made from a translucent frosted plastic which both reduces weight and increases the chance of breakage. The new iStands (formerly known as Century Stands, or C-Stands) can hold up to 1.5 pounds of strain before cracking. The issue of fragility poses a particular problem for the dolly grip, a problem which iGrip hopes to have solved before Easter 2001 when they introduce the iDolly and the iDolly SE, both of which will weigh in at less than 14 pounds. Next they'll work on a version that an operator can sit on.
The American Society of Belt Wearers has noted a growing trend of larger, heavier workbelts. Coinciding with the "fattening of America" and the popularity of Sports Utility Vehicles, this push toward 'Sports With the inception of Utility Belts' (or SUB's) has been noted by best-boy grip Riko Shatke. Sony's HDW-F900, digital cinematography "Back when I started in the business all we had on our belts was a has never looked more hammer.....MAYBE a screwdriver. Now all the young kids have promising. In a things called multi-tools and ratchet-ma-bobs. They wear glove partnership with film holders, spring clamp holders, spring clamp holder holders. It's giant Panavision, Sony gone way too far if you ask me. Earlier this year I was doing a job is set to release future in LA and noticed some of the kids had smoothie cup holders on versions of the camera their belts. It's gone too far. " with new features that Wearing SUB's isn't without its dangers. Kept out of the headlines was threaten to eliminate, or the near drowning of a grip working in the natatorium at the Sydney permanently alter many 2000 Summer Olympic games. An 18 year old British man almost died current camera department positions. One such addition is in 3 feet of water when his vegamite holder filled with water, tipping the "Magic Focus" feature. An electronic rangefinder, him underwater, further allowing the remainder of his pouches, slots, combined with broadcast chips surgically inserted into the holsters and pockets to fill as well. Film organizations are pushing for bridge of actors' noses will allow future versions of the HD a belt weight-limit of 8 pounds or lighter, with a girth factor of 5-G. A series to make rock-solid focusing a guarantee. Successive consortium of unions have already agreed to the basic specifications generations of the camera will eliminate the necessity for and have adopted several rider tenets which apply to specific job loaders and operators, allowing the camera truck driver classifications. If elected, Ralph Nader had promised to outlaw the much more "quiet time" for themselves. use of SUB's. Political pundits believe that the muddled Presidential election was directly attributable to fears of governmental interference in belt-wearing, leading many Florida voters to mistakenly vote for Pat Buchanan because his last name could be construed to resemble the word "buckle". I hope that you've enjoyed this edition of the LowTide. None of the contents of this publication should be construed as factual. Improper use of these materials should be considered a waste of your time, and an entire re-evaluation of your life's goals is in order. Any questions or comments should be made to the attention of: [email protected]
REVISION 2 : November 22, 2000 This revision optimizes the sizes of all images shown throughout, resulting in a smaller filesize. This version of the document should open in most versions of Adobe Acrobat with fewer problems. If you have problems, please let me know and I will attempt to correct those probelms
REVISION 1 : November 18, 2000
Corrected: • A handful of spelling errors. • Carl's last name is Mazzocone, not Mazzacone. • Molybdenum is indeed listed in the Periodic Table of the Elements. That I got right, I just wanted to show you that I really did absorb some chemistry while I was failing the class. • I fabricated the "Mandu" Province of Japan. I think. • All of my own nude photos were removed due to a strong public outcry.
This document was originally created in Adobe Illustrator 8.0 and compiled in Adobe Acrobat 4.0. Revision 2 was made in Adobe Illustrator 9.0.1 and compiled in Adobe Acrobat 4.0.