Glee 3x07: I Kissed A Girl
Rewrite by Jon D Arthur
Original script by Matthew Hodgson et. al. Glee’s Third Season Episode "I Kissed A Girl" was really not a good hour of television. It was a poor culmination of plots that had been chugging away surprisingly well. Beiste and Cooter had been dating but Cooter was having trouble getting through to Beiste. Quinn fell into the worst storyline ever and tried to get baby Beth back from Shelby, who was secretly making out with Puck. Rachel dropped out of the student election to help Kurt’s chances, and because it was selfish that she was running in the first place. Yes, it was selfish even by her standards. Finn outed Santana in a hallway which lead to an attack ad on Sue that will out Santana to the entire state of Ohio. That’s not very nice, AND THAT’S WHAT YOU MISSED ON GLEE.
1 EXT. LIONEL Q. FRUMP MEMORIAL PARK - FRIDAY 1400 1 ON-SCREEN TEXT: Friday. It’s a beautiful, sunny day. BRITTANY S. PIERCE AND SANTANA LOPEZ sit on a CHECKERED BLANKET. There is a PICNIC BASKET next to them. Santana reaches in and removes two GLASSES and a bottle of SPARKLING CIDER. SANTANA Well, it’s a lovely day, so I’d like to raise a toast. BRITTANY To what? The sun? Because I hear he’s a real jerk.
SANTANA (Laughing) No, not to the sun. BRITTANY Well, who are we toasting then?
SANTANA Well... FADE TO:
2 INT. FIGGINS’ OFFICE - FRIDAY 1400 2 SHELBY CORCORAN, WILL SCHUESTER, FINN HUDSON and Santana sit opposite PRINCIPAL FIGGINS. Everyone is uncomfortable. Figgins looks stern. It is exactly one week to the hour before Sc. 1. ON-SCREEN TEXT: 7 DAYS AND 2 MINUTES EARLIER.
(CONTINUED) CONTINUED: 2.
FIGGINS There are two things I will not tolerate in this school: vampires and violence.
Shelby, confused, mouths "Vampires?" SANTANA That is such crap, and you know it. Kurt had to change schools because- FIGGINS Because of threats of violence. They were not actual threats!
SANTANA And I guess that’s why every time he put on a new hideous outfit for Glee Club, we all caught sight of those not-actual bruises that lined the entire side of his body. You know, the locker shaped ones? FIGGINS There were no witnesses to anything. Neither I, nor Sue in my absence, could act. SANTANA There were plenty of witnesses to all the slushies that get thrown at us. FIGGINS There is nothing harmful about a slushie according-
SANTANA What if someone puts something in it? FIGGINS ACCORDING to the the guidelines set by the school board. Again, there is nothing I could do. You violated the school’s non-violence policy, and for that a suspension is in order.
WILL A suspension? Don’t you think that’s a little bit of an overreaction?
(CONTINUED) CONTINUED: 3.
SANTANA Great, so I slap Finn, I get suspended, but if a guy torments people he gets a parade because he happens to be on the football team. That is such a double standard. SHELBY Honestly, Santana, I wish that was what was going on here, but both me and Mr. Schuester have spent all week dealing with the fact that both New Directions and the Troubletones have been at each other’s throats, and we both know who was fanning the flames. FINN I didn’t get slapped.
Everyone turns to Finn suddenly, confused. WILL Finn? What are you saying? FINN Santana didn’t slap me. It was, uh... what do you call it when it’s a slap but it’s a play so it isn’t a slap? SHELBY A stage slap? FINN Yeah. It was a stage slap. That’s it.
Will shoots Finn a glance. Finn mouths the word "please". WILL (Hesitantly, turning to face Shelby) I guess we weren’t really paying attention, were we? We just saw the aftermath of the... stage slap. CUT TO: 4.
3 INT. MCKINLEY CORRIDORS - FRIDAY 1410 3 Santana and Finn, outside Figgins’ office. The halls are busy - classes have just changed. The pair are walking, moving towards a set of stairs.
SANTANA What the hell, Finn? FINN I don’t get why you did what you did, Santana. Just tell me why you slapped me. SANTANA What? You want me to explain myself to you? FINN I’d prefer it if you explained yourself to the big red mark on my face, but the rest of me is curious too. SANTANA I... It’s just... (Sitting on the stairs) You’re loud.
FINN I’m sorry? SANTANA Remember when you and Lucky the Little Irish Leper decided to trash talk me, but the best you could come up with is some crap about me and Britt? FINN (Slowly realising) But... Oh. SANTANA Yep.
FINN But I was... I was just angry. SANTANA I’m not stupid enough to assume you sat down for weeks and planned it, Finn. FINN But, everyone knows. Everyone’s always known.
(CONTINUED) CONTINUED: 5.
SANTANA No, Finn. For most people, it’s a suspicion. Glee club is different. Only the oblivious would assume I was straight after Landslide, even if I did take Karofsky to the prom. FINN Never understood that.
SANTANA But out here... WIDE ANGLE SHOT: Finn joins Santana on the stairs, and we zoom out to see all the people bustling around the corridors. SANTANA (CONT.) No one pays attention here. You can nearly break a person’s neck by slamming them into a locker and everyone will keep moving. It’s a whirlpool. Nothing new happens, it just keeps turning. FINN But people still talk. SANTANA And they occasionally talk to their uncles who are running for office.
FINN What? SANTANA One of Sue’s opponents is challenging her on ’family values’. He’ll be running an add that accuses her of making her head cheerleader a lesbian as part of an agenda.
FINN I screwed up, didn’t I? SANTANA And I reserve the right to hold it against you.
CUT TO: 6.
4 INT. WILL’S OFFICE - FRIDAY 1420 4 Will and Shelby in Will’s office. The pair are resting on Will’s desk.
SHELBY So, what do we think that was about? WILL I have no idea. SHELBY That’s the problem, isn’t it? We can’t know what’s going on in the minds of these kids.
WILL (Gazing out through the glass wall) Any one of those kids could be a ticking timebomb. They probably all are. There’s something that they’re hiding. SHELBY That’s growing up.
ANGLE: From behind Will and Shelby, we see the other side of the glass. NOAH "PUCK" PUCKERMAN crosses in front of it, moving to a locker. He opens it. SHELBY (CONT.) Some already have. CUT TO:
5 INT. SHELBY’S HOUSE - SATURDAY 1500 5
Puck walks around rocking BETH CORCORAN in his arms. She’s quiet, but the look of relief on Puck’s face tells us she’s been crying. Shelby enters through the main door carrying BAGS OF GROCERIES.
SHELBY Sorry to leave her with you like this, Puck. She begins setting the bags on the table.
PUCK I’d rather babysit than have Beth starve.
(CONTINUED) CONTINUED: 7.
SHELBY I’d have taken her, but I had to go to...
PUCK (He lowers Beth into her cot.) Ssssh. Shelby crosses over to the cot.
SHELBY She’s really taken to you. PUCK I am her daddy.
SHELBY (Looking concerned, turning away) Look, thanks, but you should...
She turns back to Puck, who kisses her. CLOSE UP: The pair, kissing. FADE TO:
6 INT. SANTANA’S BEDROOM - SUNDAY 1800 6 CLOSE UP: Santana and Brittany, kissing in the same pose as Shelby and Puck.
ZOOM OUT to show Santana’s room. It’s unusually sporting. Posters of CHEERLEADERS grace her walls, as does an EXTREME SPORTS CALENDAR. Her bookcase is a rickety wooden contraption, mostly filled with CDs. The walls are wallpapered, but it’s fading. Her room has only seen things added - no one’s been able to afford to renovate since it was first built. There is an old TV in one corner. It’s missing a few buttons. The REMOTE lies on a worn SIDETABLE. Her DOOR is adorned with a big poster - Santana, Brittany and Quinn, posing. It’s a blown-up photo, made at a copy shop, clearly made from normal paper. Brittany and Santana are lying on Santana’s bed, swapping spit. Brittany pulls away first, rolling her neck to stretch.
SANTANA Sorry, we’ve been doing this for hours, haven’t we?
(CONTINUED) CONTINUED: 8.
BRITTANY It’s OK, I know you’re upset. SANTANA That’s not why-
BRITTANY We always make out when you’re upset. SANTANA ... Sorry. They sit up on her bed. Santana reaches for the remote on the sidetable.
SANTANA (CONT.) Maybe we should just watch some TV. BRITTANY San, I didn’t mean...
ON-SCREEN TEXT (FADING IN): Sunday. There is a knocking on Santana’s door. Santana shuffles a few inches away from Brittany. The door opens, and from around the door appears MARIA LOPEZ. She’s in her late 40s, her hair is curly, but fairly long. MARIA San, honey, dinner is ready. Brittany se queda?
SANTANA Sí, madre. Maria disappears back behind the door. BRITTANY When are you going to tell her about us? You always act like we’re hardly even friends. SANTANA Don’t be ridiculous. BRITTANY I miss a lot, Santana, but it’s obvious. I know your parents sit down to watch TV every night after dinner. SANTANA I guess I’m running out of time, aren’t I?
SMASH CUT TO: 9.
7 TITLE CARD (GLEE, THE TEXT IS RAINBOW COLOURED). 7
8 INT. MCKINLEY LOCKER ROOM - MONDAY 1100 8
In her little office in the corner of the McKinley Locker Room, SHANNON BEISTE is writing in a journal. BEISTE (V.O.) Well, Beiste-iary, I still don’t know where I am with Cooter. I like him more than a hatchback full of turducken, but I can’t get past this sinking feeling like I’m losing him.
CUT TO:
9 INT. SUE’S OFFICE - MONDAY 10:30 9 Sue and Cooter in Sue’s office. They’re hugging.
ANGLE: Looking out through the windows. Beiste is clearly walking past. BEISTE (V.O.) Just half an hour ago I saw Sue and him hugging. (The camera zooms in on Beiste through the glass.) I can’t get Cooter to hug me, the best I get is a bit of touching when he spots me. CUT TO:
10 INT. MCKINLEY LOCKER ROOM - UNSPECIFIED DAY 10
CLOSE UP: COOTER MENKEN’s Face, he’s staring at the ground. COOTER Shannon?
CLOSE UP: Beiste’s face, from above. She’s on her back. BEISTE Yeah?
COOTER You ready? WIDE ANGLE: Cooter and Beiste, lifting weights. Beiste is lifting, Cooter spots. Beiste groans as she lifts.
(CONTINUED) CONTINUED: 10.
ANGLE: From above, we see Cooter’s leg glancingly touch Beiste’s face. Beiste giggles girlishly. COOTER Are you OK Shannon? CLOSE UP: Beiste’s face. BEISTE (Nervously) Yeah, sorry. CUT TO:
11 INT. MCKINLEY LOCKER ROOM - MONDAY 1100 11
(Continued from Sc. 8) BEISTE (V.O.) I just can’t work out where I’m going wrong. I need some sort of sign. I need someone who knows relationships better than I do. Puck walks into the locker room. Beiste’s face lights up. BEISTE (V.O.) Bingo. ON-SCREEN TEXT: Monday. [Fading in, still present over the cut].
CUT TO:
12 INT. CHOIR ROOM - MONDAY 1300 12 Will, Most of NEW DIRECTIONS and THE TROUBLETONES sit on the choir room’s CHAIRS (Santana, Brittany and Shelby are missing). Finn stands at the front of the room. He’s nervous. The WHITEBOARD is blank, but he’s holding a MARKER PEN. BRAD sits at the piano. In quick succession, Shelby enters, followed by Brittany and Santana. Finn leaps on the opportunity. Shelby hesitates by the door while Brittany and Santana take seats. FINN Great, you’re here. This week, we’re going to do something different...
SHELBY Wait, what’s going on here? Will?
(CONTINUED) CONTINUED: 11.
WILL Finn approached me about a lesson as a follow up to the Mash-Off, and I thought it sounded OK.
SHELBY Oh. Thanks for letting me know. She rolls her eyes, but catches Puck’s eyeline. She nervously looks away.
FINN Right, well, here we go. He writes "LADY MUSIC WEEK" on the whiteboard. Shelby walks over and rubs it out.
SHELBY Let’s not have that hanging over us for a whole week. Finn looks at her, concerned. Shelby waves him on.
FINN Well, as some of you may have heard, Santana’s not had it easy the past few days.
SANTANA Really, bride of Al Franken-house? You think it’s appropriate to air my problems here?
FINN So, without even discussing them, I just wanted to make this a safe space. I’m not gonna force myself into your life, Santana. I’ve done... enough. This week we should do music by women, for women. SANTANA As long as it keeps me out of it, I’m game. FINN So I’d like to start with a song for you, Santana.
SANTANA What did I just say? FINN This guy, Greg Laswell, did this cover of this song and, well... you’ll know it.
(CONTINUED) CONTINUED: 12.
MUSIC CUE: Girls Just Wanna Have Fun - Cyndi Lauper, as covered by Greg Laswell, as covered by Finn Hudson (Cory Monteith).
Finn pulls up a chair as Brad begins to play accompaniment. It’s a slow, stripped-down version of the original. Lots of shots of Finn singing, the other people in the room enjoying it, and Santana slowly beginning to enjoy it, her fingers slowly entwining with Brittany’s.
The number is INTERCUT with with the following scenes (sc. 13-16):
13 INT. SHELBY’S HOUSE - UNSPECIFIED DAY 13
Shelby, tending to Beth. As Beth bounces in Shelby’s arms, her phone goes off. A text message from Puck. CLOSE UP: Shelby’s phone: "Cn I cum ova?". Shelby smiles as she reads it.
The phone rings in the middle of the night...
14 INT. SANTANA’S HOUSE - UNSPECIFIED DAY 14
Santana and her parents (Maria and JAVIER LOPEZ, late 40s, older, greying at the temples) at dinner. They’re eating, but Santana is distant. She doesn’t want to be there. Well, mother dear, we’re not the fortunate ones...
15 INT. MCKINLEY LOCKER ROOM - UNSPECIFIED DAY 15 Beiste and Cooter, lifting hand-held weights. Cooter locks eyes with Beiste for a moment, and she looks away, shy.
It’s all they really wa-a-a-ant...
16 INT. SANTANA’S HOUSE - UNSPECIFIED DAY 16
Santana crosses over to the window, staring out of it. Her parents clear the table behind her. ZOOM OUT: Through the window, slowly showing the front of her building - a housing complex in Lima Heights Adjacent, Lima’s industrial district. It’s bleak, and her face is no different. I wanna be the one in the song... 13.
17 INT. CHOIR ROOM - MONDAY 1305 17 (Continuing Sc. 12)
Finn finishes his song. The room applauds, politely. Will stands up, applauding much more enthusiastically than anyone else. WILL Well, I think that gets up into the mood for a great week! SANTANA Really? I like how the week that has nothing to do with me starts with a song dedicated to me.
BRITTANY Take the compliment. SANTANA Britt?
BRITTANY Even I know it’s the best you’re going to get.
FINN Take her advice... I think. WILL Well, you all have classes to get to, so I’ll see you all later.
TINA (To MIKE CHANG, as the pair get up) Do these meetings feel even shorter to you too?
The group disperses. Santana approaches BLAINE ANDERSON and KURT HUMMEL. SANTANA Fey and Feyer, can I have a moment? KURT Is it full of terrible jokes like that because I’m not sure I could handle it.
SANTANA Please. I need to talk and... well...
(CONTINUED) CONTINUED: 14.
BLAINE Say no more. Lima Bean, after school.
SANTANA Great. CUT TO:
18 INT. LIMA BEAN - MONDAY 1530 18 There’s a crowd bustling around the Lima Bean, usual patrons combined with the flow of trendy high schoolers fleeing campus. Blaine and Kurt approach the counter, attended by a distant-looking BARISTA.
BLAINE A medium drip and... BARISTA Yeah, I know your orders.
KURT Oh. (His face scrunches a little) We have to stop coming here. BLAINE You don’t see any value in ordering the regular?
He hands over MONEY as they are handed TWO COFFEES. They approach a TABLE, inhabited by Santana. SANTANA Hey.
KURT So, what brought this on? SANTANA Well, I’m sure you saw the slap heard around the world.
BLAINE It was hard to miss. SANTANA There was a reason. It wasn’t just the righteous open-hand of popular opinion. KURT We know. My dad told me.
(CONTINUED) CONTINUED: 15.
SANTANA Oh... KURT It wasn’t gossip. He was worried. Now that I know, I’m worried. BLAINE We’re worried.
KURT Are you OK? SANTANA I am... I just...
She tears up a little. Santana’s head drops as she wipes her eyes. Kurt reaches over and grabs her free hand gently. KURT San, we don’t have to do this. It’s your life. SANTANA No, no... I just... I don’t get any of this. Two years ago I was sleeping with Puckerman. I took your stepbrother’s virginity. Me and Britt were just fooling around and it meant nothing and I was so sure of myself...
BLAINE You don’t have to explain. None of this is easy. For some people, it’s simple. They know from day one. For others, it’s much more complicated.
KURT Hell, even I’ve made out with Brittany. BLAINE Really? KURT There was a whole thing. SANTANA And you weren’t fooling for a second, Boy-za Minelli. Neither were you when you were making out with Berry, Teen Grandpa. I just... I didn’t really have a sexuality. At least, I don’t (MORE) (CONTINUED) CONTINUED: 16.
SANTANA (cont’d) think I did. It wasn’t... anything. Between Quinn and Britt, everyone was sleeping with people. What was I supposed to do? BLAINE You went with it. Sometimes it’s all you can do. I...
KURT I realise that you can’t exactly control how you come out anymore. You have a choice, Santana. Just go with it, and risk being outed by a pizza guy with a suit, or do it on your own terms. BLAINE Your own terms isn’t always the best option, but if you want my opinion, you’ve gotta do it now. I ran, Santana, because I could. As much as it might be depressing, you can’t.
SANTANA Look, it’s my life. It’s my decision. KURT For now. We are irrelevant here, Santana, but even you can’t ignore the big flashing sign that’s about to be thrust over your head everywhere you go. CLOSE UP: Santana’s face. She’s mulling it over.
SANTANA I have to go. Santana gets up. Kurt moves to stand, but she hurries out.
BLAINE Well, that’s encouraging. KURT We can’t force ourselves on her. It’s a step that she even spoke to us in the first place. BLAINE (Placing his arm around Kurt) When did you get so wizened?
(CONTINUED) CONTINUED: 17.
Kurt smiles, but his expression drops as he sees SEBASTIAN SMYTHE approach. SEBASTIAN Hey guys, what a surprise.
BLAINE Sebastian, hey, what are you doing here? SEBASTIAN I’ve decided to make this second-rate coffee hole my regular. I’ve always had a regular place, ever since La Brochet in Paris. KURT Adorable. SEBASTIAN I’m just gonna get a terrible, burnt cup. Join me, Blaine? I’m having some trouble with my harmonizing. BLAINE Uh... Kurt looks past Sebastian and sees Rachel approaching. Recognizing her, he turns to Blaine and pats him on the shoulder. KURT Go on. I see a certain miss Berry approaching and we should really start this conversation alone. It’ll be a little awkward. Blaine stands up and follows Sebastian to the counter. Rachel sees Kurt and makes a beeline for his table.
RACHEL Kurt, I- KURT I realise we haven’t really spoken since the debate. I just wanted to say, thank you. RACHEL Kurt...
KURT But I don’t think your endorsement is gonna make much of a difference.
(CONTINUED) CONTINUED: 18.
RACHEL What, why? KURT Brittany’s got it in the bag. The big rumor mill that’s churning right now about Santana is only gonna make people think about Britt even more.
RACHEL She is half of it, I suppose. KURT (Shrugging) Honestly, stuffing the ballots is my only hope. RACHEL Are you serious? KURT Please. I wish. My only hope of getting into NYADA is slipping away and... well, I don’t need to explain it to you. I’m running out of options.
CLOSE UP: Rachel’s face. She’s mulling it over. SEBASTIAN (Snidely, to Rachel and Kurt) Ah, the young lovers. Sebastian and Blaine reapproach the table. KURT And the fun begins. Sebastian, Rachel. Rachel... (Reluctantly, ) Sebastian. The pair smile at each other.
CLOSE UP: Lingering on Rachel’s face. CUT TO:
19 INT. MCKINLEY LOCKER ROOM - TUESDAY 1200 19
Beiste approaches Puck in the locker room. There are OTHER FOOTBALL PLAYERS milling around.
(CONTINUED) CONTINUED: 19.
BEISTE Puckerman, my office. Now. ON-SCREEN TEXT: Tuesday.
Puck looks confused, but follows her over to her little cubicle. PUCK Coach?
BEISTE Look Puckerman, I respect you as a player, but there’s something I want your opinion on.
PUCK Oh, right. You’re not the first. It’ll be red for about a month... Beiste looks confused, but she waves him down.
BEISTE Oh no no no. Similar area, but you’ve bolted your horses down the cattle track to the glue factory before you’re put them in the derby. Puck looks completely confused. PUCK So...
BEISTE You’re experienced. I know you’ve dated half the girls in this school. If a girl wanted to get your attention... what would they do? PUCK Look, you’re nice and all... BEISTE I’m not asking you out, Puckerman. PUCK Oh. Well, whoever this guy is, you need to be honest.
CUT TO: 20.
20 INT. CHOIR ROOM - TUESDAY 1200 20 Rachel paces the room. QUINN FABRAY enters and she rushes over.
RACHEL Quinn, I need your opinion. QUINN Oh no, how many weeks are you?
RACHEL No, it’s not that. It’s... If you had the opportunity to help someone... the only way this person could get something they needed, but you know that they’d get mad if they found out... QUINN Sometimes you have to take chances, Rachel.
INTERCUT WITH:
21 INT. MCKINLEY LOCKER ROOM - TUESDAY 1200 21
(Continuing sc. 19) PUCK Take a chance. You tell half the guys in this locker room that their girlfriends even looked at another guy, and they’d freak. Guys are insecure.
22 INT. CHOIR ROOM - TUESDAY 1200 22
(Continuing sc. 22) Puck enters the room from the side opposite Rachel and Quinn. He only smiles at them, crossing instead over to the band kit.
QUINN If you’re the only one that can help someone, you need to do what you can. 21.
23 INT. MCKINLEY LOCKER ROOM - TUESDAY 1200 23 (Continuing Sc. 21)
PUCK Guys hate clingy girls, trust me, I know. Puck’s gaze extends out to the door to the locker room.
MUSIC CUE: I’m The Only One - Melissa Etheridge, as covered by Puck (Mark Salling). The opening chords play as: SLOW MOTION: Shelby passes by the lockerroom.
PUCK But sometimes you’ve gotta go there. CUT TO:
24 INT. CHOIR ROOM - TUESDAY 1230 24 Puck stands before the band, with a guitar, rocking out to I’m The Only One. New Directions and the Troubletones, plus Will and Shelby, are present for Puck’s performance. His eyes are on Shelby. The song is intercut with the following scenes (25-30, in order):
25 INT. MCKINLEY LOCKER ROOM - TUESDAY (?AFTERNOON?) 25 Cooter talks to a group of football players, notably SHANE. Finn is conspicuously absent. Beiste is in her office, staring out at Cooter. WIDE SHOT: Looking at the whole scene - Locker room conversation and Beiste, zooming in slowly to emphasize Beiste.
But I’m the only one who drowned in my desire for you...
26 INT. SHELBY’S HOUSE - UNSPECIFIED DAY 26
Shelby and Puck, making out on her couch. It’s passionate, but Shelby’s heart just isn’t in it. As their lips break apart, her expression falls to one of sadness. As Puck nuzzles her neck, she looks over at Beth’s cot, and her expression worsens. 22.
You’ll wake up tomorrow and wrestle the sorrow that holds you back today...
27 INT. RACHEL’S BEDROOM - TUESDAY 2200 27 Rachel, scribbling on bits of paper. Somehow, she’s gotten hold of the McKinley Student Body President Voting Form - well, 100 copies of it. She’s filling them out as fast as she can.
It’s only fear that makes you run, the demons that you’re hiding from...
28 INT. MCKINLEY CORRIDORS - TUESDAY 1500 28
The school day has ended, and Beiste walks the corridors. She’s searching for Cooter. She turns a corner, coming in sight of Sue’s office.
I’m the only one...
29 INT. MCKINLEY CORRIDORS - TUESDAY 1300 29 At lunch (and during Im The Only One’s guitar solo), Kurt and Brittany are both campaigning. Brittany’s far more successful. There are CROWDS OF PEOPLE around her, taking MUFFINS and COOKIES out of a basket. Kurt is handing out flyers, and he has an obscenely large pile of them.
30 INT. MCKINLEY CORRIDORS - TUESDAY 1502 30 Beiste finally gets within sight of Sue’s office, and she sees a scene unfolding: Sue Sylvester and Cooter Menken, kissing.
I’m the only one... Woah-oh-oh, yeah. SMASH CUT TO BLACK. END OF ACT I.
ACT II.
31 INT. MCKINLEY INDOOR BASKETBALL COURT - WEDNESDAY 1100 31 The McKinley basketball court, decked out for the election. It’s divided into two - half is for the CROWD OF STUDENTS milling around, the other half has been set up with BOOTHS and TABLES. Beiste is sat at a table decked out with VOTING FORMS and LISTS.
(CONTINUED) CONTINUED: 23.
MUSIC CUE: Jolene - Dolly Parton, as covered by Coach Beiste (Dot Marie-Jones). ZOOM IN: On Beiste, from across the auditorium, as Beiste begins to sing. Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, I’m begging of you, please don’t take my man. Through the main doors to the court enters Sue, Cooter and a CROWD OF REPORTERS. PAN: Following Beiste’s eyeline, looking at Sue. Sue is not very subtly pandering to the reporters. She has one arm around Cooter.
The scene is intercut with the following (Sc. 32-):
32 INT. SUE’S OFFICE - TUESDAY 1440 32 Sue and Cooter are flipping through old photo albums.
ANGLE: A YOUNG SUE SYLVESTER and a YOUNG COOTER MENKEN are seen in the pictures. They seem to be happy. WIDE SHOT: Unseen by Sue and Cooter, Beiste paces the room, still singing to Sue.
33 INT. TEACHER’S LOUNGE - UNSPECIFIED DAY 33 Sue and Cooter, sharing lunch, laughing. Sue makes a bad joke, inaudibly, and Cooter makes a face that’s half-laughing, half-flummoxed. Your voice is soft like summer rain, and I cannot compete with you, Jolene...
34 INT. MCKINLEY LOCKER ROOM - UNSPECIFIED DAY 34 Beiste, writing in her journal, trying to hold back tears. And there’s nothing I can do to keep from crying when he calls your name, Jolene.
35 INT. LIMA BEAN - MONDAY 1530 35 Continuing sc. 18, Rachel and Kurt sit in the Lima Bean with Sebastian and Blaine. Sebastian and Blaine are laughing, and Kurt is visibly unhappy with it. 24.
36 INT. MCKINLEY LOCKER ROOM - WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON 36 Puck is changing in the Locker Room, but isn’t doing it very discretely. Shelby passes by the entrance, catches sight and lingers.
ZOOM IN: Past Shelby, into the distance, where Quinn waits. She’s perfectly aware of what Shelby is looking at.
37 INT. MCKINLEY INDOOR BASKETBALL COURT - WEDNESDAY 1105 37
(Continuing sc. 31) CLOSE UP: on Beiste as she stares at Sue. She is interrupted by a COUGH.
ZOOM OUT to reveal Kurt standing in front of Coach Beiste. KURT (Loudly, actually pronouncing the word:) Ahem. BEISTE (Finally registering his presence) Oh, sorry Kurt. I was kinda running the million mile race down the piglet track there. Kurt looks suitably confused. She hands him a form. ON-SCREEN TEXT (FADING IN): Wednesday.
BEISTE (CONT.) Take the form, tick the box. KURT Are you OK, coach? You seem a little distant. Trust me, I know distant. I practically perfected it last year. BEISTE There’s a queue waiting Kurt...
KURT (Turning around and not seeing anyone) Well, I realise it’s grossly inappropriate for a student to advise a teacher, so I’ll just say this. Whatever your problem, face it. Sitting, looking distant, it doesn’t work.
Kurt takes the form and walks over to the booth.
(CONTINUED) CONTINUED: 25.
BEISTE Grossly inappropriate, huh? She laughs. It’s hollow, her expression is still blank.
ANGLE: On Sue, her arm draped around Cooter, and her throng of reporters. SUE Yes, Ohio. I, Sue Sylvester, have come to support this school’s celebration of the democratic process. REPORTER Who’s the man?
SUE This is Cooter Menken, an old flame that I’ve recently reconnected with. We shared an age appropriate romance in College, where I was a cheerleader, and he was a quarterback. We really were an all American couple. That, Ohio, is what candidate Sue brings to this table. Real American values. ANGLE: Sue waving, with Beiste visible in the background, alone, still staring. CUT TO:
38 INT. MCKINLEY INDOOR BASKETBALL COURT - VOTING BOOTH - WEDNESDAY 1130 38 Puck stands before a VOTING BOX. He has his FORM and a PEN. He goes to tick a box, but before he can, the Booth’s CURTAIN opens. In steps Quinn Fabray. She is cool, calm and collected. PUCK (Turning to face her) Occupado! QUINN I’ve been getting some mixed signals.
PUCK What? QUINN I saw Shelby checking you out.
(CONTINUED) CONTINUED: 26.
PUCK She- QUINN And, suspiciously, you spent all of your song looking at her. PUCK I-
QUINN I’m not stupid, Puck. Something’s going on, and if it’s going to stop me from getting back Beth, I need to stop it.
PUCK Quinn, get over it! Beth isn’t ours anymore! QUINN But she could be! PUCK No, she couldn’t. She belongs to Shelby now. Get over it.
QUINN Not you too, Puck. I can’t believe this. PUCK Too?
QUINN You’re exactly the same. You can’t see- PUCK Can’t see what? You’ve lost Quinn. QUINN No I-
PUCK Yes, you have. You tried and you failed, and I went along with it because for a while you fooled me. Just quit it.
QUINN (Tearing up) Why are you doing this?
(CONTINUED) CONTINUED: 27.
PUCK Because that act doesn’t work anymore.
QUINN Fine. I guess I’m out of options, aren’t I. PUCK It was never an option, Quinn.
Quinn glares and walks out of the booth. PUCK (To himself, turning back to the box) People need to stop taking my advice. Puck writes "ROSS PEROT" on the bottom of the form and sticks it in the box. He walks out, and in walks Kurt.
KURT (To himself) Last chance. He ticks his own name and desposits it. He leaves. MERCEDES JONES enters. MERCEDES (V.O.) Brittany is my Troubletones homegirl, but if she wins, Santana will never shut up about it. She ticks Kurt and leaves. Mike Chang enters. He is listening to music, and silently ticks Kurt’s name. He deposits the slip and exits. Tina enters, kissing him on the cheek as they trade places.
TINA (V.O.) Oh, more white people. She ticks Kurt’s name and deposits it in the box. She leaves. Santana enters, draws a heart instead of a tick in Brittany’s box, folds the paper, seals it with a kiss and deposits it. She leaves the booth. CUT TO:
39 INT. MCKINLEY LUNCH HALL - WEDNESDAY 1350 39 Rachel waits in the Lima Bean. Kurt approaches, and she shifts in her seat slightly as he approaches.
(CONTINUED) CONTINUED: 28.
KURT What was so important that you had to meet me right away? RACHEL Sit down. Please. KURT Fine. Kurt sits. He’s looking concerned.
RACHEL You’re really worried about this election, aren’t you?
KURT That’s why you texted me sixteen times telling me to meet you here? RACHEL Sort of... KURT Oh no, what did you do? RACHEL I may have... done something bad. KURT RACHEL. RACHEL I stuffed the ballot. For you! KURT (Leaning over, whispering) You realise that if someone notices, I will instantly be disqualified? RACHEL Deny. If we all deny, it’ll be fine.
KURT Deny what? I did nothing. And if you deny, I’ll be the one who gets the punishment.
RACHEL If someone notices! KURT Oh, and since when has a Rachel Berry scheme gone according to plan?
(CONTINUED) CONTINUED: 29.
RACHEL I’ve had several... KURT I... I can’t handle this right now. RACHEL Kurt, wait!
KURT I’ll talk to you later, Rachel. I just... I need time. CUT TO:
40 INT. SHELBY’S HOUSE - WEDNESDAY, 1300 40 Puck enters Shelby’s house carrying his schoolbag. She doesn’t see him enter, she’s browsing on a LAPTOP. He knocks on the door as he walks in, and she turns around.
PUCK Shelby? I heard you’d come home. I was worried it was about Beth.
SHELBY Oh, Puck. Come on in. Don’t panic, I came home for lunch. I was just looking for some ideas for outfits for Beth, actually.
PUCK Is she sleeping? SHELBY Yeah. You know, it’ll be her second Christmas soon. I think if I keep buying her nice things every year, eventually she’ll be old enough to remember what I got her the year before and she’ll get to grow up with a ’perfect christmas’ memory.
PUCK That’s nice. SHELBY I had a perfect christmas, as a child. I was eight. My dad came in at the crack of dawn and handed me this box. I was wide awake, I was so excited... I tore into it. Inside was this dress. It was beautiful. I was probably (MORE) (CONTINUED) CONTINUED: 30.
SHELBY (cont’d) a bit young for an expensive dress. I outgrew it in five months. But I knew my dad cared. Looking back, he was probably just giving me something he thought was ’girly’, but... we didn’t have a lot. It’s why I was so broke in college. Unlike so many, I couldn’t fall back on anything but... but the money I got from having Rachel. I don’t know how my dad paid for that dress, but I do know I wore it whenever possible. By the time I had grown out of it, it wasn’t really in one piece anyway... PUCK I know what you mean. (He sits beside her, placing his hand on her arm) My mom used to bake. Not very often, maybe once a month, but I’d get so excited. Eventually she didn’t bake for months. I asked her why. She said it was because the oven had broken, and she couldn’t afford to fix it. In hindsight, we had been eating fast food for weeks. SHELBY That was a lot more recent than my story. PUCK So?
SHELBY I thought this would make me feel young again, but... She pulls her arm away from Puck.
SHELBY (CONT.) I’m sorry. I... I don’t think we can do this any more. PUCK What? SHELBY You and me. Everytime you come here, I think about Beth. I think about you. You’re not her father, Puck. I wanted you to be, but (MORE) (CONTINUED) CONTINUED: 31.
SHELBY (cont’d) you’re not here for her. You’re a kid. You might want here now, but we both know this isn’t going to work.
PUCK But I love her. And I love you. (Shelby winces) I don’t want her to grow up without a father. Not like I did.
SHELBY She won’t. I have many years to go before I’m officially an old maid. You have many more than me, Puck. It’s not fair. You and Quinn both gave Beth away because you didn’t want her to ruin- PUCK I never said ruin...
SHELBY Ruin your lives. You’re not ready to be a father, Puck. You’re getting there, but you need time. Quinn might have gone off the rails a bit, but at least she’s honest. You’re not here for me. You’re here for Beth. I can’t handle that. Puck leans in close. Shelby, almost out of reflex, does so too. PUCK I’m here for you. Nothing more, nothing less.
They kiss. CUT TO:
41 INT. MCKINLEY LUNCH HALL - WEDNESDAY 1400 41 (Continuing sc. 39) Santana walks past Rachel’s table. Rachel waves for her to sit down.
SANTANA Let me guess, you have an almost offensive opinion you wish to share.
Santana sits down reluctantly.
(CONTINUED) CONTINUED: 32.
RACHEL I just wanted to say, I know it’s not easy. If you need to talk, I’m here.
SANTANA Yeah, you and everyone I’ve spoken to this week. RACHEL That’s not a bad thing, Santana. SANTANA Then why do I feel like it’s lip service? When every person I talk to says the same damn thing? "If you ever need to talk". RACHEL Hearing something a lot generally to make it true.
SANTANA Great, so I can be cured then? So it’s a phase? RACHEL (Stuttering, caught off guard) That’s not what I meant Santana, I- SANTANA No, sorry, that was harsh. (Santana leans on the table and rests her head in her hands) I just... I’m over all of this. I wish I didn’t have to deal with this. (She looks up, sighing) My biggest fear used to be that Sue would demote me from Captain... Now I’m worried that... that anyone I meet... (She begins to tear up, reburying her head in her hands) I’m just over it... RACHEL (Reaching out) Hey, Santana, don’t cry. It’s OK. You have friends and family who love you. So what if people look at you funny for a week or two? You’ll get through this. I’ve lived with that for years.
(CONTINUED) CONTINUED: 33.
Santana laughs and wipes her eyes. She takes Rachel’s hand and squeezes it. SANTANA (Chuckling) That feels a little pointed. RACHEL I couldn’t help it.
Santana smiles and gives Rachel’s hand another squeeze. She pulls away rapidly as an AWFUL JOCK walks past. He’s being followed by a SECOND AWFUL JOCK, carrying a tray with FOOD, notably SPAGHETTI. AWFUL JOCK Don’t stop on my account, ladies. The only thing hotter than a couple of lesbos is making ’em see the light, (He stops walking and leans over) If you know what I mean. RACHEL (Angrily) Oh, great. How long did you spend on that? Did you spend hours thinking about the best way to hit on a lesbian? AWFUL JOCK Oh, I’ve spent many hours thinking about lesbians. Just thinking and thinking... RACHEL Oh yeah? Well, I’d hate for you to overwork your tiny brain. Let me help you. She stands up and grabs the Spaghetti from the tray of the Second Awful Jock. She dumps it over the Awful Jock’s head.
RACHEL (CONT.) Sorry, I missed. That should have gone lower. She storms out. Santana follows behind.
CUT TO: 34.
42 INT. SHELBY’S BEDROOM - WEDNESDAY 1430 42 Puck lies in Shelby’s bed as Shelby fixes her hair.
PUCK You’ve still got it, you know. SHELBY Thanks, I...
She sighs loudly. PUCK What’s wrong? SHELBY This. This! I tried to tell you I’ve had enough, and we slept together. This isn’t right. PUCK It has to be, if it keeps happening. SHELBY That’s not how things work.
PUCK This is a bad time to break up with me. SHELBY I... Just give me a few days, OK? I need to think. PUCK Alright. As long as you’re thinking.
SHELBY (Turning, and placing a hand on Puck’s arm) Thank you. I... I just don’t know what I’m going to do.
PUCK Then let me help you figure it out. SHELBY I’m a grown woman. I can make my own decisions. I also get to live with the consequences. CUT TO: 35.
43 INT. FIGGINS’ OFFICE - DAY 1430 43 Rachel sits before Figgins. RACHEL Oh come on, he was being a bully. I put him in his palce. FIGGINS No one saw anything, so we only have his complaint, but I’m watching you. Violence from your so called Glee Club is becoming too common. RACHEL It won’t happen again. FIGGINS Good. Coach Beiste knocks on the door and sticks her head in.
BEISTE They’re here. FIGGINS Good. Miss Berry, please be more considerate of others. You are already too cavalier with your erotic dodgeball mashings up. Rachels stands to leave, mouthing "erotic dodgeball mashings up" as she does so. She exits, passing Beiste, Burt Hummel and Kurt. SLOW MOTION: Rachel and Kurt’s eyes lock for a second. Kurt and Burt enter Figgins’ office, followed by Beiste.
BURT What is this about? FIGGINS Well, there has been a troubling development in our local democracy. BEISTE Your son won the race.
BURT (Excited, hugging Kurt) Well, that’s amazing! Was it a big margin? (Turning to Kurt) Did you know? Was this a big con?
(CONTINUED) CONTINUED: 36.
BEISTE He won by more votes than there are seniors. BURT Wait, I thought only seniors could vote. FIGGINS Precisely. It seems that the election was rigged in mister Kurt Hummel’s favour.
BURT Kurt, do you know anything about you? KURT I- I mean, I considered it, and... BEISTE You did this?
KURT No, I would never. I was just saying... FIGGINS Someone did it. We have no one else to suspect but you. KURT I... What happens now?
BEISTE Well, obviously, you lose. That means Brittany wins. She beat the other guy by a pretty wide margin.
FIGGINS You will also be punished. I have yet to decide what the punishment is. KURT But I didn’t do it! FIGGINS Then WHO DID? KURT It was... (He pauses, considering his words) I don’t know.
(CONTINUED) CONTINUED: 37.
BEISTE This is serious, Kurt. BURT Hey, if he says he didn’t do it, the boy didn’t do it. He’s never done anything like this. BEISTE We aren’t left with a lot of options. ANGLE: Over Kurt’s shoulder, through the glass windows of Figgins’ office. ZOOM IN: We see Rachel outside, looking in, looking concerned. She does not move. CUT TO:
44 INT. MCKINLEY SCHOOL CORRIDORS - WEDNESDAY 1500 44
SOUND FX: the school bell rings. Santana leaves the Glee Club choir room. Brittany is waiting for her. She locks arms with her and smiles. As she does: SANTANA Well, Madam President, it’s all over. All we have to do now is wait. I’m surprised they haven’t made an announcement yet. BRITTANY So what do you want to do? SANTANA I was thinking ice cream. I need to get my double-scoop on. BRITTANY You have the best ideas.
They begin walking away. SANTANA I know. BRITTANY Can we get it and take it back to yours? SANTANA It’ll probably melt.
(CONTINUED) CONTINUED: 38.
BRITTANY We should get one of those small tubs then.
SANTANA Sounds good to me. We can eat it and watch some trashy TV. Something with Kardashians or people who wear more bronzer than clothes.
BRITTANY Will you tell your mother that I’m your girlfriend? Santana pauses, mid-step.
SANTANA What? BRITTANY (Turning to face her) It’s not a big question. Either you tell her or you don’t, but I’m sick of you keeping me at arms length every time there’s a chance she might walk in the room. SANTANA Britt, I... I can’t just come out. I can’t. I’ve tried. I’ve wanted to. I just... I don’t know how they’ll react. BRITTANY I’m not saying this to be mean. That ad will air soon and then you’re going to find out either way. SANTANA You’re not the first to point that out.
BRITTANY Then tell them. SANTANA ... Alright. I guess I don’t really have a choice.
BRITTANY Not the first time I’ve heard that.
(CONTINUED) CONTINUED: 39.
SANTANA I guess I kinda deserved that one... There’s a lot of deja vu going on here.
BRITTANY Come on, let’s skip the ice cream. I’ll walk you home. SANTANA Will you be there with me? BRITTANY This is your fight, Santana. You’re the strongest person I know. I’ll be at home, waiting to hear about how well it went. I wish I could be there with you. I’d sing ’I Kissed A Girl’ and we’d all be happy, like in Glee Club.
SANTANA I can’t help but feel like that song would be wildly inappropriate.
BRITTANY But you did. You kissed a girl. And you liked it. And now people are going to make it seem like that makes you a bad person.
SANTANA It doesn’t? BRITTANY No, it makes you my girlfriend. And as much as I want to be there with you, even I know it’s too awkward to bring your girlfriend to your coming out. SANTANA That is a something I did not really want to hear... but it makes sense. Alright, let’s go. They walk down the corridors. They are not holding hands.
CUT TO: 40.
45 INT. SANTANA’S HOUSE - WEDNESDAY 1550 45 Santana walks into her house.
SANTANA ¿Hay alguien aquí? MARIA (O.S.) Si, come into the kitchen. There is a cake on the table. Your father is already helping himself.
46 INT. SANTANA’S HOUSE - KITCHEN - WEDNESDAY 1551 46
Santana enters the kitchen. Javier is sat at the KITCHEN TABLE, eating. There is a CAKE on the table, with a large slice removed. Maria is washing PLATES in the SINK. MARIA It was a gift from a Isabella. You remember how I made her those drapes? She made us a cake. SANTANA How nice of her.
JAVIER How was school? SANTANA Actually... I need to talk to you both about that. JAVIER Is it bad? Maria, sit down, leave the plates. I am only going to leave more of a mess.
MARIA Fine. She sits.
SANTANA Well, there’s something I need to tell you... MARIA Well? Spit it out.
Santana lowers her head, scared. MUSIC CUE: I Kissed A Girl - Katy Perry, covered by Santana Lopez and Rachel Berry et. al. (Naya Rivera, Lea Michele and company).
(CONTINUED) CONTINUED: 41.
Santana stands up. She begins to sing, matching the music. SANTANA This was never the way I planned.
ANGLE: Looking at Maria. Behind her, Rachel is standing, also singing. RACHEL Not my intention.
SANTANA I got so brave, drink in hand... Rachel moves over to Santana, singing. Santanta’s parents register what is happening, but remain calm.
RACHEL Lost my discretion. From the other room enter Quinn and Brittany. Quinn movs over to Rachel, Brittany immediately moves over to Santana. SANTANA It’s not what-
RACHEL I’m used to... SANTANA (To Brittany) Just wanna try you on...
RACHEL (To Quinn) I’m curious for you. Rachel and Santana throw their arms around Quinn and Brittany, respectively. SANTANA RACHEL Caught my attention. Caught my attention.
SANTANA RACHEL I kissed a girl and I liked I kissed a girl and I liked it. it.
SANTANA The taste of her cherry chapstick. Santana smiles, turning to look Brittany in the eyes.
(CONTINUED) CONTINUED: 42.
SANTANA (CONT.) I kissed a girl- SMASH CUT TO:
The earlier moment in the scene, before Santana begins singing. She was imagining it all. MARIA Santana?
SANTANA (Looking up, looking scared) I’m a lesbian. CUT TO BLACK.
END OF ACT II. ACT III
47 INT. SANTANA’S HOUSE - WEDNESDAY 1550 47
(Continuing Sc. 46 directly) Maria and Javier stop what they are doing. Javier puts down his cake and sighs. Santana shifts awkwardly in her seat, avoiding their gaze.
MARIA Are you sure? SANTANA I’m so sure I wish I wasn’t. JAVIER Santana, look at me. Santana turns to look at him. He is stern.
SANTANA I- JAVIER It does not matter.
SANTANA But- JAVIER I cannot speak for your mother, but I can say this: I am your father. I have raised you, but I am not you. Whatever I may have hoped and wanted for you is irrelevant. Tell me, Santana, are you happy?
(CONTINUED) CONTINUED: 43.
SANTANA As a lesbian? JAVIER As a person. SANTANA Yes. JAVIER Then I have raised my daughter well, and that is all that matters. Santana reaches out and grabs her father’s hand. He smiles, and uses his other hand to pat hers.
MARIA Do you have a ’friend’? Maria Lopez is not comfortable, but she is clearly trying.
SANTANA You mean a girlfriend? MARIA Yes.
ALMA (O.S.) Anyone home? SANTANA (Calling out to her) In the kitchen. ALMA LOPEZ, Santana’s abuelita, enters the room. She sets down several GROCERY BAGS. ALMA I bought some things for dinner. You know, Santana, you could invite a nice boy to dine with us. It’s been a while since you brought anyone home. (She turns to see everyone sat around the table, looking dour) What’s wrong, did somebody die? JAVIER Please sit, Alma. Santana briefly panics. She doesn’t want to tell her abuelita. Not now.
(CONTINUED) CONTINUED: 44.
ALMA (Sitting down) Fine.
MARIA Santana has something she needs to tell you. SANTANA No, I mean... (Sighing) I’ve been meaning to say this for a while now. I just... I love girls, in the way I’m supposed to love boys. It’s just something I want to share with you, with all of you, because I love you so much. I want you to know me. When I’m with Brittany, I finally understand what people are talking about when they’re talking about love. And I’ve tried so hard to keep this locked up inside, but everyday just feels like a war. And I walk around so mad at the world, and I’m really just fighting with myself. I don’t wanna fight anymore, I’m just too tired. I have to just be me. Maria and Javier exchange looks. They feel for her. Alma is stern.
ALMA Santana... I have been here for you. I have watched you grow from a little girl into a grown woman, and I- (Beat) The sin, Santana, is in the telling, in the scandal. The sin is when people talk about it.
MARIA (To Alma) ¿Qué estás diciendo? SANTANA But, but Abuela...
ALMA No, stop. (She stands up) I will not be associated with sin.
(CONTINUED) CONTINUED: 45.
Santana stands up and dashes for the exit, crying. Javier and Maria both stand up, following. Maria turns to Alma. MARIA How dare you? MUSIC CUE: Perfect, by Pink - as covered by Kurt and Blaine (Chris Colfer and Darren Criss). Made a wrong turn once or twice.
Dug my way out, blood and fire. CUT TO:
48 INT. SANTANA’S BUILDING’S HALLWAY - WEDNESDAY 1600 48 Santana rushes down the hallway, crying. Javier follows after her, but stops. JAVIER (Calling out) Santana! Bad decisions, that’s alright. Welcome to my silly life.
CUT TO:
49 EXT. SANTANA’S BUILDING - WEDNESDAY 1601 49
It is RAINING. Santana’s not dressed for it, she’s getting drenched as she runs away from her place. She doesn’t know what to do. Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood!
Miss "No way,It’s all good", it didn’t slow me down CUT TO:
50 EXT. THE STREETS OF LIMA - WEDNESDAY 1610. 50 Images of Santana, wandering the streets. Mistaken, always second guessing, underestimated!
She can’t handle it. Look, I’m still around... She falls against a nondescript, industrial wall, finally giving up, crying her eyes out.
(CONTINUED) CONTINUED: 46.
Pretty pretty please! Don’t you ever ever feel
Like you’re less than, less than perfect From her pocket, she removes a CELLPHONE. Her father is calling. She ignores it. Beat.
She calls Brittany. Pretty pretty please If you ever ever feel like you’re nothing you are perfect to me. CUT TO:
51 INT. SANTANA’S ROOM - UNDEFINED LATER DATE 51
You’re so mean (Your so mean) When you talk (When you talk) about yourself, you were wrong
Santana’s going crazy in her room. She’s tearing down posters, tearing up pictures, destroying things. Getting it out of her system. Change the voices (Change the voices) in your head (In your head) Make them like you instead CUT TO:
52 INT. SANTANA’S HOUSE - UNDEFINED LATER DATE 52 Outside Santana’s bedroom door, Maria and Javier are talking, arguing.
So complicated, look how we all make it! Filled with so much hatred... such a tired game. CUT TO: 47.
53 INT. SANTANA’S ROOM - UNDEFINED LATER DATE 53 (Continuing sc. 54)
Santana takes a cheerleading trophy from her shelf. It’s big. It’s enough! I’ve done all I can think of She opens a window and throws it out of it.
Chased down all my demons, I’ve seen you do the same. CUT TO:
54 INT. KURT’S CAR - WEDNESDAY 1615 54 Kurt is driving, Blaine’s in the front seat, they’re singing along to Perfect on the radio. Oh, pretty pretty please
Don’t you ever ever feel Like you’re less than, less than perfect Kurt’s phone lights up.
MUSIC CUE: Perfect moves into a mimetic space, quietened, playing as if it were on the radio itself. BLAINE Let me get that. (He answer’s Kurt’s phone) Kurt Hummel’s phone. (Beat) Brittany, slow down, calm down, we’ll come and get you.
Pretty pretty please If you ever ever feel like you’re nothing you are perfect to me
CUT TO:
55 EXT. BRITTANY’S HOUSE - WEDNESDAY 1620 55 MUSIC CUE: Perfect returns to normal.
The whole world’s scared so I swallow the fear The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer
(CONTINUED) CONTINUED: 48.
Kurt pulls up to the kerb in his car. Brittany rushes straight out from her front door and leaps into the backseat.
CUT TO:
56 EXT. THE STREETS OF LIMA - WEDNESDAY 1620 56 Santana, still crying, lies against the building. Traffic whizzes past. She is alone. So cool in line, and we try try try,
But we try too hard and it’s a waste of my time CUT TO:
57 INT. KURT’S CAR - WEDNESDAY 1630 57
Britt in the backseat, Kurt and Blaine in the front. Britt’s leaning over, searching. KURT She could be anywhere!
Done looking for the critics, cause they’re everywhere They dont like my jeans, they don’t get my hair BLAINE Then we keep looking! Exchange ourselves, and we do it all the time Why do we do that? Why do I do that? BRITTANY There! Why do I do that? CUT TO:
58 EXT. THE STREETS OF LIMA - WEDNESDAY 1630. 58 Kurt’s car pulls up and Brittany jumps out. Santana’s still leaning against the non-descript, industrial wall. Brittany instantly throws her arms around her and kisses her. Yeah, oh, oh baby, pretty please! Pretty pretty please, Don’t you ever ever feel Like you’re less than, less than perfect
(CONTINUED) CONTINUED: 49.
ANGLE: Brittany comforting Santana, in the rain, with Kurt’s car in view. The window winds down. Pretty pretty please If you ever ever feel like you’re nothing, you are perfect to me
BLAINE Come on, you’ll get sick out there! Brittany helps Santana up. She’s not crying anymore. Her face is still puffy, her clothes are still soaked, but she’s holding Brittany’s hand and she’s happy. Yeaaahhh...! You are perfect, you’re perfect!
They begin walking to Kurt’s car. Brittany opens the door and the pair, soaking wet, get into the back. Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you’re nothing
You are perfect to me. As the song winds down, the car drives away. CUT TO:
59 INT. BRITTANY’S HOUSE - WEDNESDAY, 1900 59 Santana, in Brittany’s room. She’s changed clothes, and she’s drying her hair with a TOWEL. Brittany is/has doing/done the same. There’s a knock on the door, and in walks CLARA PIERCE, Brittany’s mother. She is in her forties, blonde, a larger woman. She’s looking a little serious. CLARA I just got off the phone with your mother, Santana. She believes, and I agree, that for the moment, you should stay with us. Not for long, probably just for the night. She told me what happened, and we just agreed that you need a safe space, not a confrontation. SANTANA Thanks for this, Mrs. Pierce.
CLARA (To Brittany) I think I just heard the oven timer go off. Would you get the Pizza and grab some plates?
(CONTINUED) CONTINUED: 50.
BRITTANY Sure. Britt leaves the room. Clara shuts the door behind her and sits on Britt’s bed. CLARA I wanted to say, Santana, that there’s always a place for you here.
SANTANA ... You don’t know how much that means to me. Santana sits down next to Clara.
CLARA You and Britt are together, aren’t you? SANTANA I- CLARA Oh, don’t worry. I know. I’ve always known. Britt’s never been one for secrets. She came home, when she had just started at McKinley, and she comes rushing in, telling us all about this new girl she’d met at Cheerleading Tryouts. It was weeks of ’Santana this’, ’Santana that’. SANTANA I remember that. We were pretty inseperable.
CLARA And that’s why it doesn’t matter what boys she brings home, or whatever mistakes she might make, no matter what, she’ll come home, gushing about you. You make my daughter happy, and for that, there’s always a place in my home for you. Santana smiles as Brittany reenters the room, carrying a pizza and some plates. BRITTANY Dinner’s ready, San.
(CONTINUED) CONTINUED: 51.
CLARA I’ll leave you two to it. Sorry we couldn’t find you something healthier for dinner.
Clara stands to leave. SANTANA Oh, I’m not sure how this could get better.
Britt sits next to her, and they share a slice of pizza. CUT TO:
60 INT. MCKINLEY CORRIDORS - THURSDAY 1300 60 Kurt opens his locker and removes a FOLDER. Rachel approaches. RACHEL I heard about what happened with Figgins. KURT I don’t know what happened.
RACHEL I do. I stuffed the boxes in your favor. ON-SCREEN TEXT (Fade In): Thursday.
KURT Rachel, how- RACHEL It was stupid, and I’m sorry. I just couldn’t handle the thought of you losing. KURT Well, thanks a lot. Now I’ve lost.
RACHEL I’m sorry. KURT You have to turn yourself in, Rachel. If you don’t, I don’t even know what will happen. RACHEL Well-
(CONTINUED) CONTINUED: 52.
KURT Only you can make this right, Rachel.
CUT TO:
61 INT. CHOIR ROOM - THURSDAY 1300 61 Puck is messing around with a GUITAR when Quinn enters the room. QUINN I can’t take this. I saw her yesterday, at the mall, shopping with Beth. Our Beth.
PUCK I’m not listening. QUINN Oh, that’s mature. I know-
PUCK That she’s a good mother and we’ve already had this conversation?
QUINN What is it? What exactly put you on her side? Puck looks to one side.
PUCK It’s nothing. QUINN Oh my god. I know that look. You’re... you’re sleeping with her, aren’t you? PUCK That’s none of your-
QUINN I knew it! How else could someone blind you to your child- PUCK Enough!
Quinn falls silent. PUCK (CONT.) We aren’t even... I don’t know. I know she’s going to break it off (MORE) (CONTINUED) CONTINUED: 53.
PUCK (CONT.) (cont’d) at the first sign of trouble. I can feel it.
QUINN Please, tell me more. ANGLE: Away from Puck and Quinn, onto Blaine and Kurt, entering the choir room. The rest of New Directions and the Troubletones, with the exception of Rachel, Will, Shelby, Brittany and Santana, enter. Kurt enters holding a FORM. KURT This is it. My NYADA application form.
BLAINE You’ll be fine. President would have been icing on the cake. You’re one of the most talented people in the country, even if you’re not in student government. KURT Oh, how I hope they realise that.
Kurt and Blaine sit. Britt and Santana enter. Santana is holding her phone. SANTANA For personal reasons, I felt it pertinent to follow a certain election’s results. The wonders of technology tell me that we should be congratulating a Mr. Burt Hummel on his recent election.
KURT (Jumping to his feet) He won?! SANTANA Yes he did.
Kurt rushes to leave, excited, but Santana stops him. SANTANA (CONT.) Easy there, fellow human being. I have something I need to say. Kurt looks at her, mouths the words "fellow human being" confusedly, before reluctantly returning to his seat.
(CONTINUED) CONTINUED: 54.
SANTANA (CONT.) This has been a hard week for me. I’m sure I’m not the only one. It seems like growing up means things are never easy. I’m not sure I like that, but that’s the rule. I want to thank you all. I asked for some space, and even though you gave it to me in the form of ’Lady Music Week’, you all stepped back and gave me the room I needed. (She steps closer to Brittany and holds her hand) So, we want to make it official. No rumors, no nothing. I, Santana Lopez, am dating Brittany S. Pierce, and if you have problem with that, I am happy to devote a week of songs to how terrible a person you are.
The assembled group laughs and cheers. Santana and Brittany kiss. Kurt stands up. KURT And I’d like to take this opportunity to reveal something I was told in confidence. Tomorrow morning, Figgins will make the announcement that our new class president is one Miss Brittany S. Pierce.
He walks over to her and extends his hand. Brittany shakes it with her free hand. KURT (CONT.) Rule wisely. Rule fabulously.
Shelby enters the room. SHELBY Alright, are we all here? I think we’ve got time for one more song. We should really spend Friday practicing for Sectionals. FINN Mr. Schue and Rachel both aren’t here.
ARTIE That’s like the least likely thing in the world.
(CONTINUED) CONTINUED: 55.
KURT I suspect Mr. Schue is with my father, revelling in the news. As for Rachel.
TINA (Looking out of the door) We have incoming. Rachel enters the room, looking sombre.
KURT Rachel? What’s wrong? RACHEL I... I told Figgins that I stuffed the ballots for the election. KURT But he said-
RACHEL I have been suspended. One week. That includes a ban on participation in Sectionals. Kurt stands up and hugs her. Blaine and Finn both follow.
CUT TO:
62 EXT. LIONEL Q. FRUMP MEMORIAL PARK - FRIDAY 1400 62
(Continuing Sc. 1) SANTANA I’d like to raise a toast to everyone we know.
BRITTANY That’s a lot of people. SANTANA Rachel did the right thing, despite knowing the consequences. Finn, despite being an ass, actually learned to back down for once. Who knows what else people have been through this week. I know Quinn and Puck were looking shifty in Glee Club... But most of all, I want to raise a toast to Brittany, who knew I was falling apart, and who did the smart thing - she called the only two people who might know what I was going through.
(CONTINUED) CONTINUED: 56.
BRITTANY I just knew Kurt had a car. They didn’t even really help, they just drove us to mine.
SANTANA But you knew I was hurting and you asked for help, and for that I will always be grateful.
BRITTANY I love you, Santana. Santana lies down, resting her head on Britt’s chest. SANTANA I love you too. She is smiling. CUT TO:
63 INT. CHOIR ROOM - THURSDAY 1310 63 (Continuing from Sc. 61, a few moments later). New Directions and the Troubletones sit as Santana once again stands before them. SANTANA So, I’d like to close out this week with a song that’s always helped me. It’s a song fundamentally about marching onward... and I think that’s something we could all use a little reminder of. MUSIC CUE: Constant Craving - KD Lang, as covered by Santana Lopez, Shelby Corcoran and Kurt Hummel (Naya Rivera, Idina Menzel and Chris Colfer). Santana begins to sing, a smile on her face as she does. It’s not a broad smile, it is slight - a start.
The following scenes are intercut:
64 INT. SANTANA’S HOUSE - KITCHEN - FRIDAY (UNDEFINED TIME) 64
Santana returns home. She drops some BAGS on the kitchen floor as Maria and Javier approach, hugging. A constant craving,
Has always been. 57.
65 INT. MCKINLEY CORRIDORS - FRIDAY (UNDEFINED TIME) 65 Shelby, walking the halls of McKinley, singing, but it goes unnoticed. She’s happy, but it’s fragile. As Puck walks past, smiling at her, she smiles back. Maybe a great magnet pulls poor souls towards truth... A knowing smile from Quinn shatters her face.
Or maybe it is life itself, that leads wisdom to its use...
66 INT. MCKINLEY LIBRARY - FRIDAY (UNDEFINED TIME) 66
Kurt and Blaine, in the library, as Kurt fills out his NYADA application. Blaine looks hopeful, but Kurt is dour. This constant craving has always been...
67 INT. SHELBY’S HOUSE - UNSPECIFIED DAY 67 Shelby is looking at photos of Beth when her phone rings. It is Puck. She smiles at first, but looks to Beth, and then back to the phone.
She presses ignore.
68 INT. MCKINLEY LOCKER ROOM - UNSPECIFIED DAY 68
Beiste and Cooter, talking. It is silent, but Beiste is clearly unhappy, and Cooter is clearly trying to make amends.
69 INT. SANTANA’S BEDROOM - UNDEFINED LATER DATE 69
Santana is in her bedroom. She’s holding a PICTURE FRAME - it’s her and her abuelita. She removes the back and removes the picture. She hesitantly sets it down on a BOOKCASE before picking up the REPLACEMENT PHOTO - one of her and Brittany, smiling. She places it into the frame.
She smiles. Craving... A-ha...
70 INT. WILL’S OFFICE - THURSDAY 1500 70 A celebration. Burt and Will are happy, laughing. EMMA PILLSBURY sits next to Kurt. She is smiling. He is not. Kurt joins in with the song. 58.
Has always been...
71 INT. CHOIR ROOM - THURSDAY 1315 71
Santana finishes her song. She smiles, and the group converges on her. A group hug. Everyone’s happy and laughing. ZOOM OUT: Slow, to show the throng of people.
SMASH CUT TO: CLOSE UP: Santana’s face. Her smile, for an instant, breaks.
CUT TO BLACK. END.