FACTSHEET FOR FAMILIES December 2018 Parenting a Child or Youth WHAT’S INSIDE Who Has Been Sexually Abused: A Guide for Foster Educating yourself Understanding the and Adoptive Parents impact of sexual abuse As a parent or caregiver of a child or youth who Establishing family has a known or suspected history of being sexually guidelines for safety and abused, you may feel confused about the impact of privacy the abuse and uncertain about how you can help. It may be comforting to know that most children and Seeking help youth who have been abused do not go on to abuse Conclusion others, and many live happy, healthy, successful lives. At the same time, all children and youth who have References been abused need to feel safe and loved in nurturing homes. As a parent or caregiver, you can play a central role in your child’s healing process, as well as in “building resilience,” which strengthens your child’s ability to adapt to or cope with adversity. This factsheet discusses how you can help children and youth in your care by educating yourself about child sexual abuse, understanding the impact of the abuse, establishing guidelines for safety and privacy in your family, and seeking help if you need it. Reading this factsheet alone will not guarantee that you will know what to do in every circumstance, but you can use it as a resource for some of the potential challenges and rewards that lie ahead. Children’s Bureau/ACYF/ACF/HHS 800.394.3366 | Email: [email protected] | https://www.childwelfare.gov Parenting—a—Child—or—Youth—Who—Has—Been—Sexually—Abused:—A—Guide—for—Foster—and—Adoptive—Parents https://www.childwelfare.gov Educating Yourself Signs of Sexual Abuse One of the most useful steps you can take to help your If you are parenting a child or youth who has been child is to educate yourself about both sexual abuse removed from his or her family, you may not know whether and healthy sexual development in children. With this he or she has been sexually abused. Child welfare information, you will more easily recognize behaviors agencies are required to share all known information possibly associated with past or current abuse and avoid about a child’s history with his or her caregiver. However, uncertainty if your child or youth shows uncommon sexual past records of abuse may not exist, and young children behaviors. Most importantly, you may gain confidence or children who are nonverbal may be unable to tell you in supporting your child or youth through a variety of about being abused. Children and youth with disabilities, sensitive questions or situations that may arise. This many of whom cannot interpret or articulate abusive section covers signs and behaviors that may suggest experiences, are at significantly higher risk of sexual sexual abuse in children and youth, as well as common abuse than their peers without disabilities (Child Welfare healthy sexual development behaviors. Information Gateway, 2018). Moreover, many children do not reveal past abuse until they feel safe. For these What Is Child Sexual Abuse? reasons, foster or adoptive parents or kinship caregivers The National Child Traumatic Stress Network (NCTSN) are sometimes the first to learn that a child has been defines child sexual abuse as the following: sexually abused. Therefore, knowing the signs and ——[A]ny—interaction—between—a—child—and—an—adult—(or— behaviors of abuse is critical. another—child)—in—which—the—child—is—used—for—the—sexual— stimulation—of—the—perpetrator—or—an—observer.—Sexual— abuse—can—include—both—touching—and—nontouching— For information on how to learn more about your behaviors.—Nontouching—behaviors—can—include— adopted child, refer to Information Gateway’s voyeurism—(trying—to—look—at—a—child’s—naked—body),— exhibitionism,—or—exposing—the—child—to—pornography.— factsheet, Obtaining Background Information on Children—of—all—ages,—races,—ethnicities,—and—economic— Your Prospective Adopted Child, at https://www. backgrounds—may—experience—sexual—abuse.—Child— childwelfare.gov/pubs/f-background/. sexual—abuse—affects—both—girls—and—boys—in—all—kinds—of— neighborhoods—and—communities. For more information, see Child Welfare Information Children who have been sexually abused also may act Gateway’s webpage, Identification of Sexual Abuse, at out—that is, express feelings or sexual impulses that https://www.childwelfare.gov/topics/can/identifying/ are odd, excessive, aggressive, or explicit. Although no sex-abuse. one specific sign or behavior proves that sexual abuse has occurred, the following table provides examples of potential warning signs of abuse. This material may be freely reproduced and distributed. However, when doing so, please credit Child Welfare Information Gateway. This publication is available online at https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/f-abused/. 2 Parenting a Child or Youth Who Has Been Sexually Abused: A Guide for Foster and Adoptive Parents https://www.childwelfare.gov Table 1. Signs and Behaviors That May Suggest Sexual Abuse in Children and Youth1 Younger Children Older Children and Youth Both Children and Youth Imitation of sexual acts with toys or Unhealthy eating patterns or unusual Explicit sexual knowledge beyond the other objects, such as stuffed animals weight gain or weight loss child’s developmental stage Behavior of a much younger child, like Anxiety or depression Sexual fixation indicated by language wetting the bed or sucking a thumb Changes in self-care or paying less or drawings Refusal to take off clothing at attention to hygiene Nightmares, trouble sleeping, or fear appropriate times (e.g., bathing, Self-harming behaviors or suicidal of the dark going to bed) thoughts Sudden or extreme mood swings Sexually transmitted infections (STIs)2 Alcohol or drug use (e.g., rage, fear, anger, crying, or (especially in children who have not Running away withdrawal) yet started puberty) STIs or pregnancy References to a new, older friend High-risk sexual3 behavior Unexplained avoidance of certain Suddenly having money people, places, or activities Pain, itching, or bleeding in genital areas These red flags do not always indicate that your child Darkness to Light or youth has experienced sexual abuse. Rather, these https://www.d2l.org/get-help/identifying-abuse/ actions may reflect an underlying issue, such as physical U.S. Department of Justice or emotional abuse or unintentional exposure to https://www.nsopw.gov/en/Education/ sexual content. Regardless, a trained professional who RecognizingSexualAbuse specializes in working with children who have been sexually abused should assess whether there is an Healthy Sexual Development in Children and underlying concern. (See the last section of this factsheet, Youth Seeking Help, for more information.) At each developmental stage, children show a range The following organizations offer more information on of healthy sexual behaviors and curiosity. Children’s behavioral signs of sexual abuse: behaviors and curiosity may develop gradually, based on their development, and may be influenced by factors such Stop It Now! as what they observe and the guidance they receive from http://www.stopitnow.org/ parents and caregivers. Understanding healthy sexual warning_signs_child_behavior development can provide a context in which to consider The Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN) signs and behaviors of possible abuse. The table below https://www.rainn.org/articles/warning-signs-young- lists common behaviors considered healthy for most children and children and youth, according to their developmental https://www.rainn.org/articles/warning-signs-teens phases. 1 Unless noted otherwise, content in the table is adapted from Stop It Now! (n.d.). Tip sheet: Warning signs of possible sexual abuse in a child’s behavior. Retrieved from http://www.stopitnow.org/warning_signs_child_behavior. 2 Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network. (n.d.). Warning signs for young children. Retrieved from https://www.rainn.org/articles/warning-signs-young-children. 3 American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. (2017). Adult manifestations of childhood sexual abuse. Retrieved from https://www.acog.org/ Clinical-Guidance-and-Publications/Committee-Opinions/Committee-on-Health-Care-for-Underserved-Women/Adult-Manifestations-of-Childhood-Sexual-Abuse This material may be freely reproduced and distributed. However, when doing so, please credit Child Welfare Information Gateway. This publication is available online at https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/f-abused/. 3 Parenting a Child or Youth Who Has Been Sexually Abused: A Guide for Foster and Adoptive Parents https://www.childwelfare.gov Table 2. Common Sexual Development Behaviors in Children and Youth4 Younger Children Older Children and Youth Curiosity about their bodies, occasional masturbation in Adherence to social norms around masturbation, likely public and private occurs in private Consensual, playful exploration of their bodies with Shared sexual behaviors with peers of a similar age may children of similar age take place Questions about sexuality, such as “Where do babies Interest in adult bodies on TV or in the media come from?” Understanding of pregnancy, HIV, and other STIs Lack of inhibition about nudity, particularly under age 5 Capacity to learn about intimate, long-term, loving Use of slang to describe body parts and jokes about bodily relationships and healthy versus unhealthy relationships functions Visit http://www.stopitnow.org/ohc-content/what-is- age-appropriate for more information about behaviors Resilience common among different ages of children and behaviors that might be uncommon or unhealthy. Seek According to the American Psychological support by calling the Stop It Now! helpline at 1.888. Association (APA), resilience is the ability to adapt PREVENT (1.888.773.8368). or cope in a positive way to adversity, including trauma, tragedy, threats, and significant stress. Understanding the Impact of Sexual It involves behaviors, thoughts, and actions that Abuse can be learned over time and nurtured through positive relationships with parents, caregivers, If a professional has determined that your child or and other adults.