THE CORD WEEKLY Volume 29, Number 14 January 5, 1988 Wilfrid Laurier University

Winter Hits Waterloo!: Gee... isn't winter pretty? Someone should have Maybe they should have brought their jams and a surfboard with them too. alerted the owner of this bike, however, that bikes are... we11... for summer. Photo: Katßios Ontario increases tuition: $110 for WLU students Explaining both increases fur- By Jonathan Stover in mid-December. Management Information Ser- sities. This tuition increase wasn't vices Dr. Andrew Berczi, the in- ther, Dr. Berczi said that the 7.5 Berczi said that in the past Undergraduates attending the only university-related finan- crease in tuition was done differ- Dr. per cent increase in grants was WLU had "typically went Wilfrid Laurier University next cial move made in the waning ently this year than in other years. somewhat illusory, as about 3.3 towards the lower [percentage year will pay about $110 more days of 1988 by the provincial Where normally the Ontario per cent of that went towards tuition increase] figure." How- ~ than this year's students to do so. legislature. Indeed, this increase government gives a range of per- specific programs compensa- Laurier undergrads aren't went along with the province's centages for universities to work ever, he also added that even with tion for additional enrollment, alone in this. Universities across 7.5 per cent increase in operating their increases within (typically the increase, Ontario students bilingual programs, implementa- Ontario will see increases of 7.5 grants to universities for the between about four and seven per were among those with the lowest tion of new programs, and special per cent in their basic tuition fees 1989-90 school year, an increase cent, Dr. Berczi said), this year tuition fees in the country, and grants to northern universities -- for students. Provincial Minister announced on December 13. no leeway was given. The 7.5 per Laurier students among the which applied to Laurier lightly of Colleges and Universities Lyn According to WLU Vice- cent increase is to be adhered to lowest paying students in continued on p. 3 McLeod announced the increase President: Planning, Finance and by all publically-funded univer- Ontario. Diploma axed by Senate INSIDE Full-time Business NEWS By Frances McAneney and time students. A more intensive mencing in May, 1989. gram" said McCutcheon. "It's James McBob Diploma in Management Studies The Diploma in Business Ad- more intensive... (and) could lead MacDonald House lounge Program, developed by the ministration had been originally to much higher levels of work," finally opens.../3 The business diploma will no School of Business and Econom- designed for part-time students he added. longer be offered on a full-time ics and passed at the December 6, who wanted to gain some knowl- "There was a need for this SCENE basis as of May 1, 1989 but will 1988 senate meeting, will be of- edge in business administration kind of diploma" said Vice- continue to be available to part- fered to full-time students com- but didn't want to commit them- President: Academic Dr. Russel Interview with Van- selves to the demands of a busi- Muncaster. couver's Sons of Free- ness degree. Some students that had dom.../9 Cow patties for cash According to Dr. John planned on taking the Diploma in McCutcheon, a faculty member Business Administration but de- SPORTS

£ HALIFAX (CUP) — Bessie the cow will be roaming around a of the School of Business and cided instead to enroll in the new Mount Saint Vincent University field this week. And students will Economics, the Diploma in Busi- Management Studies Program University recruiting — anxiously point cameras at her until the big event. ness Administration was no have been put at a disadvantage From a high school per- Three-inch square plots of land are being sold at $3 each by longer a high enough level of because they will not have ac- spective.../13 the public relations students club as a fundraising event. Bessie study. What was required, quired the first term prerequisites the cow will drop a patty on the spot of her choice. If you own McCutcheon believes, was a for the new Management Studies that spot, you win one of a number of prizes. more intensive business program Program. It is not expected that It's called Bessie Bingo. which has now been provided by the students will be able to enter An edited video of the event will be sent to the David Let- the new Diploma in Management into the program immediately terman Show, the latenight talk show. Said Gerald Hashey, co- Studies Program. said Dr. McCutcheon, and excep- ordinator of the fundraising committee, "We think it will be right The new Management Studies up (Letterman's) alley." Diploma "is a much better pro- continued on p. 5 The Cord Weekly 2Thursday, January 5,1988 THE CORD WEEKLY ATTENTION

January 5,1989 Volume 29, Number 15 Editor-in-Chief Cori Ferguson CO-OP NEWS Editor Bryan C. Leblanc Associate Jonathan Stover Contributors Frances McAneney Wendle Beaton STUDENTS Bill Casey

COMMENT Contributors John Oberholtzer Steve Giustizia Sarita Diaram D.C.

FEATURES Editor E.A. Sajnovic Contributors Nairne Holtz

ENTERTAINMENT \ lf*mmSmsi \ Editor Neville J. Blair imw^wmmwß Contributors Cori Cusak Android mßjr m.mMMmmBSS Jonathan Stover Dave Lackie ' If Tony Burke Dave Burns WSmm SPORTS f^BI Editor Brad Lyon Contributors

Serge Grenier Stephan Latour \ Sarita Diaram Mary Ann de Boer \ DESIGN AND ASSEMBLY The 1988-1989 WLUer, Wall Calendar and Production Manager Kat Rios student telephone directory are available in the Info- Assistants Sandy Buchanan | Sarah Welstead Centre. Please bring your valid student I.D. card. Bill Casey »■■«»■ ii n« Systems Technician Paul Dawson Copy Editors Shannon Mcllwain Applications are now being accepted Keri Downs for Contributors these positions at Student Publications Andr6 Widmer Lyle-guy Halcro PHOTOGRAPHY

Manager Vicki Williams - Technician Jon Rohr President WLUSP Graphic Arts Paul Tallon

Contributors - Kat Rios Director WLUSP Board ADVERTISING Manager Bill Rockwood Available in the Student Publications offices, applications will close at Classifieds Mark Hand Production Manager Scott Vandenberg 4:30 on Friday, January 20 to fill these positions for the 1989-90 school National Advertising Campus Plus year. If interested, contact Chris Starkey at the WLUSP offices (884-2990) (416)481-7283 or one of the six current Directors: Doug Earle, Riyaz Mulji, Kirk Nielsen, CIRCULATION AND FILING William Penny, Barb Smith, Gail Strachan. Applicants will be asked to Manager John Doherty submit a brief platform to the current President Chris Starkey by the 20th as well. Election of the President and six Directors will take place at the Eight month, 24-issue CORD subscription rates are: $20.00 for addresses within Canada Watch and $25.00 outside the country. Co-op students may subscribe at the rate of $9.00 per four Annual General Meeting of the corporation on Friday, January 27. month work term. for the ad next week for a more detailed description of these positions and/or talk to one of the people listed above. We look forward to welcom- STUDENT PUBLICATION BOARD ing you to our team! President Chris Starkey Directors

Kirk Nielsen , Gail Strachan William Penny Doug Earle ' Barbara Smith Riyaz Mulji Karen Bird HQI PMhhprc (^rr*

appears to be following U.S. continued from p. 1 trends towards more expensive or, in many cases, not at all. post-secondary education. "As Thus, the "real" increase in grants long as the needy students get for WLU was around 4.2 per cent scholarships and bursaries, in- creases are reasonable," con- The grant increase was termed tinued Dr. Berczi. "irresponsibily misleading" and WLUSU President Karen "deceptive" by the Council of Bird echoed Dr. Berczi's final Ontario Universities because of words when she said that the tui- the small size of the "real" in- tion increase is "acceptable...as crease, less than inflation rate the long as adequate funding is avail- Ontario. COU in president Harry able for those who can't afford Arthurs complained that "not it." only has the government Following in that vein, Bird promoted a deceptive figure...and said that the government's issuing seriously hampered the univer- of the tuition increase without sities from doing their jobs, they also announcing increases in the have given us no guarantee that OSAP program for the 1989-90 they will continue to fund those school year was "disappointing" additional numbers of students and a "kick in the face." It would that they urged us to admit in the have been "kinder and more con- last two years." ciliatory" for the Ontario govern- About the tuition increase, Dr. ment to announce tuition and Berczi said that the government OSAP increases at the same time, "decided that users should carry Bird said, but that this way of Laurier student dies tragically greater responsibility" for their doing things was "testament to education. He opined that Canada the the ministry thinks." Special to the Cord Lindemann's hometown of Chatham, Ontario. way A Wilfrid Laurier University student passed Known affectionately as "Lindo" to his away suddenly during the Christmas holidays. friends, Lindemann gained that name in first Dead is Mark Edward Lindemann, 22, a year, when he lived on the third floor of Little Mac House opens third-year Geography major who had planned House 'B.' A successful high school athletic to graduate at spring convocation. Lindemann career in which he excelled in football, volleyball died in his Hazel street apartment in the early and basketball was followed by avid participa- tion in intramural sports here at Laurier. lounges this morning hours of Sunday, December 18. week Lindemann is survived by both parents, two Lindemann was also employed at Shooters on brothers and several relatives, along with a University Avenue. By Bill Casey girlfriend and numerous other close com- An autopsy has been carried out to panions. All will miss him greatly. Funeral ser- determine the cause of death. Results of that What's a residence floor without a place to lounge? MacDonald vices were held on Wednesday, December 21 in autopsy were unavailable at press time. House residents have been pondering that poignant puzzle of couch potato-dum for the past four months, but their puzzlings have finally come to a point. Come this week, the spanking-new residence Canadian university funding lags lounges are supposed to open. The recent transformation of Macdonald House into a residence counterparts required the creation of those new lounges. These lounges, which behind our American were to open in early September, are to open on January 4 or January By Cathy Majtenyi sities director of communications ican funding to Ontario provincial Wes Robinson (Director Canadian University Press Will Sayers says this is proof pos- funding. "It's like comparing ap- of Physical Plant and Planning) blames this long itive that Ontario universities are ples and oranges." delay in student accommodation on "unreliable contractors". TORONTO (CUP) -- Canada underfunded. For instance, she said, a lot of The contract was awarded to the Ball Brothers for $390,000. They to begin construction on geese won't be the only life forms "If this is not sufficiently con- money given to American univer- were July 1. However, construction was hampered by trade strikes migrating south for the winter if vincing, one wonders what would sities is spent on defence re- and material delays. These had to students catch wind of a Council be." search, but in Canada the federal lounges take the form of an addition because the creation of of Ontario Universities report American universities, not such lounges internally would cost the equivalent of 16 Students may join their surprisingly, also spend more rooms. That was a loss which space-hungry Laurier could ill afford. feathered flying friends to cash in than their Canadian counterparts. We can't compete Mike Belanger (Director of Housing) said on Tuesday that there "will be no further compensation to on America's "better funded" uni- Research spending per full-time with U.S. bucks. the students at Macdonald versities. student was 57 per cent ($1,400) House". In mid-October it was decided that students should be com- pensated for the "We cannot deny that the uni- greater than in Ontario. disadvantage of not having adequate facilities.

-- Some clouds or in this case, loungeless residences - do have versities south of the border are And, institutions government conducts that re- American silver linings. The University donated a lump $4000 better funded," said Bob Kanduth librar- search. sum of to the spent 110per cent more on Macdonald House Council as those loungeless days stretched into of the Ontario Confederation of ies, museums and administration Sayers was surprised by Mon- leisure-less weeks and then months. This money aided in the pur- University Faculty Associations, than Ontario schools. crieff's comments, adding that chase of a pool table, a big screen TV, and a Ping Pong table. adding that the province's post "In no single functional area McLeod gave the report public "The new lounges are nicer and better in comparison the other secondary schools are "far be- Ontario average for 1985- acknowledgement. "In fact, the to did the lounges on campus," Mr. Belanger claimed on Tuesday. hind" American ones. 86 exceed the averages for either ministry tabled our report at the Macdonald House residents will get to test out the truth of the private or the public univer- (Ontario) legislative standing Belanger's statement this week, as the lounges are to open Wednes- sities in the United States," said committee on social develop- day January 4, and are to be entirely operational January 5 1989. Students may be the report. ment," flying south now. The study has drawn criticism from the provincial ministry of colleges and universities. Helena 'Financing Universities in Moncrieff, press secretary to min- North America,' released in Oc- ister Lyn McLeod, said the study tober, uses 1985-86 statistics to is misleading because the compare 10 Ontario universities statistics are dated. offering post-doctoral programs "We certainly feel that our with 250 U.S. schools. record is a good one since 1985." The University of Toronto, Moncrieff said the COU Ontario's largest university, didn't include operating grant in- receives an average of about 40 creases since then. In 1986-87 an per cent less government money extra 9.3 per cent went to univer- than eight comparable American sities, and another 6.4 per cent institutions. added the next year. For Jameson was The study states that federal 1988-89, grants went up 7.5 per grants per full-time student in the cent. Provincial operating grants Jonas United States were about 90 per come from federal transfer pay- cent ($1,300) greater at public ments, which are targeted for universities and about 260 per post-secondary and health ex- Photo: Boars Head hits the T.A.: The annual Boars Head Dinner was cent ($3,900) higher at private penditures. held about a month ago in the newly revamped Theatre Auditorium. a dubious tradition schools than in Ontario. Also, Moncrieff said it's mis- Following began about two years back, a massive food fight erupted. Maturity reigns supreme. Council of Ontario Univer- leading to compare federal Amer- The Cord Weekly Thursday, January 5, 1988 4 'l^pg^pj

<& .e- THE LEGEND IS BACK I °y MIKE WOODS (voted performer of the year by campus programmers in June 1987)

- 111 " %Wso '%sV;i>% v x i v' *

i

￿￿￿￿￿￿******￿**￿￿****￿￿￿￿￿*￿￿￿￿￿￿￿*￿*￿￿￿￿￿￿******************** I Time Magazine called The Second City Ny.y I "a temple of satire" #A I Using a few props and costumes, punctuating I scenes with original music, the ensemble of 6or 7 I actors, creates a slice-of-life environment, I lampooning our modern lives - political, social I and cultural. I HERE IN THE TURRET- JAN. 11 ********************************￿*￿￿￿￿￿￿￿￿￿￿**￿*￿￿￿***￿￿*￿￿￿￿*￿*￿M I HEY! You don't have to take those old records off I the shelf anymore.... Now every Friday night at the

TURRET is ' R qCK NROLL i- I ￿￿￿￿￿￿￿￿￿￿￿￿￿￿￿￿￿￿￿￿￿￿￿￿￿￿￿￿￿￿￿￿￿￿￿￿￿￿￿￿￿￿￿￿￿￿￿￿￿￿￿￿￿*￿********** I THIS MONTH IS I J WINTER CARNIVAL TIME ATTENTION * this year's theme is... I I * All IQOQ PD A nc, "SUN, SAND AND COCKTAILS" I ytjy * I UnAL/O. and what does this mean to you? I meeting for * -Laurier games I SPRING GRAD CLASS MEETING * -Powder Puff Football I -Wed. Jan. 11 * -Hockey tournament I -2-201 (CTB) j -Ms Winter Carnival I -5:30 - 7 PM * -Talent Night

I * Registration opens Jan. 3 - all forms and monies will be * I collected by JAN. 13 The Cord Weekly 5 Thursday, January 5,1988 Watching the Watchmen News Analysis bus on dip the Tories are going spend in foreign countries free the Canned to By Jonathan Stover what seems like billions and bil- phones of the various firm of- lions on new submarines... fices. This goes on every year --1 continued from p. 1

Been reading much lately? If ~ From the Toronto Star we hadn't heard of it until now and -tions to these prerequisites have not been dealt with in depth. not, here's an attempt to get you got a learn that one of the members of I hope whoever thought of it A debate at the December 6, 1988 senate meeting occurred over caught on what a few up of the Lhe University of Toronto student nice Christmas present this year. the fact that the Management Studies Program was not to be offered great minds and newspapers have council was impeached for being About 2000 senior citizens talked to students on a part-time basis but rather to full-time students only. been spouting forth these past vocally anti-feminist and anti- to distant relatives this year. "I liked the proposal but I thought that part-time students should weeks. few homosexual, among other things. In a fairly even-handed be allowed to take the (Management Studies) diploma" said student From Walter McLean's This occurred after the member, column in a December Waterloo senator Doug Earle. "There was no rationale given as to why part- message Christmas to his Water- 22-year-old Darryl McDowell, Chronicle, lan Kirkby criticized time students were not permitted to enroll in the new program on a loo constituents, printed in a cute had an opinion piece published in the conduct of a vocai minority of full-time basis," Earle continued. little 20-page black-and-white a student newspaper which ac- home-owners at a recent Water- Dr. Leo A. Groarke, a professor of Philosophy and a member of booklet that was waiting in the cused feminists and lesbians of loo forum held to address the the senate, said "I'm not, in principle, against... restricting the Busi- mailbox when 1 returned to running the university's problems of student housing. Stu- ness Management (Studies Diploma) to pan-time students... but they school this January: "[Free trade] Women's Centre as a gay lobby. dent representatives from Laurier didn't seem to have any rationale when they proposed it". is part of an emerging 'planetary He also made anti-gay remarks and from the University of Dr. McCutcheon said the new diploma was to be offered to full- free trade' that makes sense as we during a council meeting in Waterloo were harangued from time students only because the School of Business and Economics move into the third millennium which he also swore at his op- the crowd, to which WLUSU wanted a more intensive program. However, a report on the A..D. We are in the era of 'one ponents and verbally questioned President Karen Bird said "I've feasibility of offering the program to part-time students must be made planetary home.' I believe that all their sexuai orientation as well. been polite while neighbourhood within two years. political decisions ultimately McDowell is believed to be the associations have talked and I Students who have completed the Business Diploma Program have to be judged by the ques- first councii-member to be im- hope you will be polite too." as of May later, they wish, exchange diploma for tion: Do they further the quest of peached during the council's 85- Kirkby called those loud- 1986 or if may their a new Diploma Management taking extra Lhe human community for one- year-history. Hoo, boy. mouths "ignoramuses", but he in Studies after the prerequi- necessary Management diploma. less?" Various newspapers and news also criticized students who are sites for the Studies It isn't yet certain what amount of upgrading will be required before students Who wrote this? Is it Walter shows reported on Merrill Lynch excessively noisy, violate parking McLean, or is it Carl Sagan after Canada Inc.'s Christmas-time regulations and violate property will be permitted to exchange their old diplomas for the new Diploma Management :oo many glasses of wine spritzer program in which senior citizens standards. in Studies. Both diploma programs are to be three terms length with the 3n Christmas afternoon? Well, were allowed to phone relatives And, on a "Crime does not in lllf ■ Illllliw ■—111 Mill IMIIBIIBI II II «■! consisting courses. lliaillMf—UTTlW-THira-M^ll—■■l«-|IUWTI I ||j| pay" end-note, The Globe first term of prerequisite I from land Mail we learn that a Admission to the new Diploma in Management Studies will re- I Hamilton man has been convicted quire the applicant to hold any Bachelor's degree except one in busi- SOME ASSEMBLY INC.V of stealing worms from a ness. However, exceptions may be made for those individuals that Niagara-on-the-Lake vineyard. have sufficient work-related experience. In cases involving such indi- ) a Hobby Store with a big name. The felon, caught escaping with viduals, Dr. McCutcheon said that these applicants would normally J I cans of worms tied around his only be asked to take a couple of university courses prior to admis- / 112 Coming Soon to 220 King st. N. q ankle, was fined $600 or 60 days sion so that the university would have some idea of their academic potential. above PHIL'S). O in jail. The convicted tried to J%/ defend himself by accusing the Terms two and three must be taken consecutively on a full-time WATERLOOjright vineyard farmer of planting three basis. Many term two courses "carry-over" into third term courses, bags of worms in his car while Dr. McCutcheon said, but this was also done in order to facilitate a police were questioning him. "core camaraderie," with students taking their classes together. What a way to get a criminal Preference will be given to Laurier graduates who wish to enter I record... the program, Dr. McCutcheon said. 112 Come Scrawl fer us!! j There will be a meeting of writers, prospective and current, at CALL FOR NOMINATIONS | j 4*oo TODAY!!!

staff). A letter of nomination and supporting evidence attributes and accomplishments of that describes the g~>r

205 WEBER ST. N

keiiW#® A set of guidelines for submitting nominations is r nt a car 886-9190 available from the office of Instructional Development, Alumni Hal! THE SUMMER'S NOT OVER YET: not try grand bend for one last "BENDER" CAR, INSURANCE, AND 600 KILOMETRES OF GAS 1 For Only: 89>95+taK ] REMEMBER "OTTMMMO DB2VE " LwhyL ______The Cord Weekly 6 Thursday, January 5,1988 THE CORD WEEKLY It's your move, Dr. Weir It's the beginning of term. Many of you will be sitting in class as you read this. Look around the room - that is, if you're not so squished into a too-small classroom that you can't look around for fear of bopping your head on the elbow of the girl beside you. Is this the small school that was sold to you by friends and university officials when you applied here? These classes are looking mighty big... One of the things that Laurier is heralded for is being a uni- versity where small classes are the norm. People who thrive from such a learning environment specifically applied to WLU to take advantage of the small class sizes. But, as the eighties progress, the size of classes has increased steadily. The Administration at Laurier is caught in a catch-22 in this situation. One of the main drawing-points about WLU, and this has been the case since the 1960s and the establishment of WLU as a separate university, is the low student/professor ratio and the prevalence of classes with small numbers of students. At the same time, this type of atmosphere for achieving a de- Predictions for the coming year gree is becoming increasingly more popular, especially as In week we have been hit by a deluge Laurier earns a name for itself in the larger world of academia. the past of year-end lists and highlight films. Since my aca- COMMENT growing problem. Laurier has specialized GUEST Hence we have a demic achievements in 1988 were so low that I will 1960. Professors BY in personalized teaching since its inception in have difficulty finding a job as a grocery boy, I to work with their seem to enjoy the opportunity personally have decided to forget about the year that was and JOHN OBERHOLTZER students, and to see them grow both academically and socially. concentrate on 1989. Here are some things to look Most students seem to thrive on being able to work with a forward to in the new year. professor, rather than some graduate student who lacks the ex- Contrary to popular belief, Canada will not be- will explain that he first became suspicious when perience and knowledge of a professor. come the 51st state - Disney world will. In the elec- Mrs. Reagan (Astaire) did a soft-shoe table dance But Laurier is a physically small school. We are hemmed-in tion for governor Mickey Mouse will win in a during a state dinner in early 1988. finish a distant sec- in an area of city block, and with the recent construction of the landslide. Mike Dukakis will 75 new malls will sprout up in the Kitchener- ond, only winning the support of the Seven Dwarfs. area, solving the problem of too few Aird Centre and Bouckaert Hall, there is simply no room left Waterloo Dukakis will then accept a position with the Boston shopping centres in the region. Stores in these new expansion the present site of this school. for further on Red Sox as a batboy. mali will be much more specialized as single items of these size and the increased numbers Because constraints In an overlooked clause in the free trade deal, such as string, liquid paper and Traveling Wilburys of applicants that are exacerbating the size problems, the Ad- Mila Mulroney will be forced to spend weekends albums will have their own separate outlets. ministration, and especially the President, Dr. Weir, have some with Ted Kennedy and Brian Mulroney will appear To prove the point that people buy his books but serious decisions to make. Is Laurier to remain a school where on six episodes of Perfect Strangers as Balki's don't read them, Pierre Berton will publish photog- personal contact and smallness remain priorities? That would friend, Forbsey the vagabond. raphs of nude women in the middle of his latest necessitate cutting back, and perhaps even off, on the numbers Sports Illustrated will be forced to end publica- book and it will not be discovered until November. of students allowed to enroll. It would also mean an escalation tion after inadvertently publishing a photo of Ed On January 22nd, a cure for AIDS will be of minimum grade requirements for entrance into this school. Broadbent in a Speedo in its annual swimsuit issue. found, the Russians will declare war on the United Cretien start speaking out of the other be invaded by Martians, Many students with great potential might fall a percentage or Jean will States, and the planet will side of his mouth. but all three Buffalo evening newscasts will lead two short, and not be offered acceptance. In Los Angeles, Brad Somerson will be the first off their programs with highlights of the Bills' vic- Another alternative is to discard the traditional image of known person to admit to being a yuppie. A sub- tory in the Super Bowl. personalized-education institution, and throw the Laurier as a sequent investigation will reveal that he does not The Toronto Maple Leafs, led by league scoring doors open to students coming out of high school, at least to make enough money to qualify. champion A 1 Secord and Norris Trophy winner the degree that present facilities allow. If you think line-ups are It will be discovered that by playing the new Brad Marsh, will win the Stanley Cup. The joke bad now in the bookstore, just imagine what they'd be like with Iron Maiden album backwards, you can hear the here is that Secord could never win the scoring another thousand or so students enrolled in this school. Or controversial 18-minute gap from Richard Nixon's championship. 5000. Watergate tapes. In a related story, the Richard M. On the TV show "Alf", the lovable alien will There is a third choice, and it seems to be the most logical Nixon library will be completed, and it will be quite kill 3 people while driving under the influence of of the three. Expand the university in physical size. Make some different from any other library. Borrowers will be alcohol and then will be sent to jail. You'll roar purchases of land in the area, and build some new buildings, or encouraged not to bring books back on time, and with laughter at the zany antics as he and cellmate establish portable classrooms, or construct a new residence, or when late books are returned, each person will be Charles Manson try to escape. personally pardoned by Gerald Ford. Knight-Pulliam star in a spin-off of what the hell, how about all three. There's a heck of a nice Keisha will A photograph of all four members of U2 smil- "The Cosby Show" called "Red Light Rudy", in of land at the corner of Lester St.and Columbia that's piece ing will shock the world in April. which she play a seven year-old prostitute. but snow and as a haven for doing nothing collecting serving Elvis will suddenly appear and explain his 11- Siskel and Ebert will be married. Their first spat moles and mice. There's a heck of a nice fiscal surplus silting year absence by arguing that the entire population will occur when Ebert reveals that he ate the entire in bank accounts collecting interest, not doing a goddamned had one long dream. He will immediately resume wedding cake and several members of Siskel's fam- thing to serve the students who are the only reason for WLU to his movie career and appear as Jesus in "The Ear- ily. exist in the first place. lier Temptations of Christ (Before He Lost Weight In another amazing display ol perseverance, The question is one that will not go away for the administra- and Got Rid of His Sequined Capes)". Oprah Winfrey will only put on two pounds of tion of this university. Will it go on falsely portraying Laurier Ronald Reagan will also make a return to the make-up before the taping of her show. as a bastion in a sea of impersonality in education, when WLU silver screen in a film of his life story. Unfortunate- On "Moonlighting", David and Maddie will go actually has one of the highest student/professorration in the ly, he will have trouble remembering his lines and through an entire episode without talking directly to smaller part of his province? Or, will the President and his cohorts slop sitting on will be forced to play the the camera. in late cable TV will be their thumbs and do something to deal with an ever-increasing daughter Maureen. Finally, December, my The Washington Post will reveal that Fred canceled for good and 1 will be restricted from en- problem? Astaire did not die, but has been serving as Nancy tering any movie theaters ever again. I will pick up Weir: Do you President Are you listening? care? Reagan's double for the past 3 years. Bob Woodard a book and start to read it. I will never recover.

Editorial opiraons sire improve/..' by The Cord Editorial Board en behalf of Cord surf and are independent of the University, the Students Union and the Student Publications Board. LETTERS TO THE EDITOR must be typed, double spaced and submitted by no EDITORIAL BOARD later than 6:00 p.m., the Friday before desired publication date. Letters must include Cori Ferguson, Editor-in-Chief Bryan C. Leblanc, News Editor the author's full name, telephone and student I.D. numbers for verification. Maximum Jonathan Stover, Associate News Editor Brad Lyon, Sports Editor length permitted for Letters to the Editor is 400 words. Neville Blair, Scene Editor Kat Rios, Production Manager Erika Sajnovic, Features Editor

The Cord is published during the fall and winter academic terms. Offices are lo- THERE WILL BE A CORD STAFF MEETING ON FRIDAY, cated on the second floor of the Student Union Building, at Wilfrid Laurier Uni- versity, 75 University Ave W., Wateiioo (519) 884-2990. The Cord is a member IN THE CORD OFFICES AT 2:30 P.M. of rylHi.n University Press and the Ontario Community Newspaper Association. Copyright 1988, WLU Student Publications. No part oT The Cord may be reproduced without the permission of the Editor-in-Chief. The Cord Weekly Red Cross thanks students of WLU 7 Thursday, January 5,1988 Editor, The Cord: very commendable that so many who helped make the day so suc- busy people took time to donate cessful. Something we should Editor's Note: "The Gift of Life". consider is using the campus This letter was received by We especially would like to newspaper to let people know Question Marie Gilkenson and for- thank Lydia and her committee how much their donation means warded to the Cord for publica- for the great job they did. We to Red Cross as well as the com- tion. loved the advertising particularly munity. the "Blood Drops" all over Thanks again for the con- What a terrific turnout- 251 campus as well as charts and red tinued support of Red Cross of the Week WLU students and staff attended tape leading to the PMC. We are donor clinics at WLU. the blood donor clinic on Novem- most grateful to all for a job well ber 14th. We were a little ap- done. By Rios Sandy Buchanan Yours sincerely, Kat and prehensive considering the date Marie, please convey our Hallman was much later in the term. It is thanks and appreciation to all L.M. BLOOM COUNTY by Berke Breathed What is your New Year's Resolution?

Try and go to class for a week in a row

Dave Lennard Honours Sleeping

Pass all my classes

Dave Burke Biz

Take more time with the family

Rick Security Guard

I don't have one

Diane Payne Psych

To get fit

Sheryl Goshine Ist yr. Communication Studies The Cord Weekly 8 Thursday, January 5,1988

- CAREER SERVICE'S FYI CAREER SERVICE'S CAREER SERVICE'S py| CAREER SERVICE'S

ARTS CAREER looking job ??????? INFORMATION NIGHT RECRUITING for a great summer In the DARK about N °TES sk what to do with your ARTS DEGREE? Although many organizations I V were on ~ camPus in the fa"> a number are scheduled to visit 1 V J WLU during the winter term. Also exP erience indicates I consider a position as a student placement officer ! ithat additional organizations Will be contacting us over the These positions provide experience in public relations, next few months to personnel, program planning, sales and administration. Attend ARTS CAREER INFORMATION NIGHT participate in theth« «non-campus and see the LIGHT! Tq find ut more about how to apply and prepare for the! recruiting program. Approximately 30 alumni interview, attend the Information Session. representatives vili be avail- Employers are welcome on Thursday. January 26, 1989 informally able to _ __ discuss paths ...... for ARTS Graduates on Monday campus any time during winter! 1:00 2:30 p.m. January 23, 1989, 6 - 8 p.m. tprm qn nlpars Centre lyrMl b° ledrS OIMT<=n"AY IM Paul Martin in the PAUL MARTIN CENTRE. P IN TOUCH - there Will be new Sponsored by Career Services. Postings throughout the term. Note: Deadline to apply is late February.

§ [[WANTED! D g* * To ensure fairness, equality, objective decision- making w » ' ALUMNI SHARING * and professionalism by all parties in the on-campus recruiting jj alimmer * KNOWLEDGE (ASK) * process, the University & College Placement Association Q 1 rj* * k Jobs (UPCAJ/ACCIS has established guidelines pertaining to job ffl , ] W* wniifH imn like fn sneak otter acceptance dates. For students receiving job offers ft $Rewards 1 |8* i)h nrLnatec aoouxahnnt * prior to December 31, employers are asked not to force W . fnl graauaies responses prior to January 15. For offers made after $ t2-K^ e 'r j°bs ? Career * January 1 , responses should not be forced before four xf Discover the rewards of R+t Services has developed ® * weeks have elapsed, except after March 1, when a period a summer job at the rtac a fj|e 0f alumni in of two weeks is acceptable. n Southwestern Ontario SUMMERWIT,IT,L lOR FAIR,x However, students are encouraged to inform employers > 1 J Wj Toronto who are * ' Wand of their decisions as soon as possible. If an offer is declined, O' $£ Wednesday, _ January 11,1989 , nmviHp .rrpnt* lAwmmiMin xu+n nou it may mean an opportunity for another student. If it is not rt 10:30 a.m. -3:00 p.m. 9 P'uviue possible to reach a decision prior to the recommended w in the Turret - students with information* * forced acceptance dates because of upcoming second o sponsored by career services Q-K on specific occupations interviews with other organizations, extensions may be fi S* or organizations. Alumni * possible. Drop by Career Services to discuss the situation. C . . * , ..... _ varipfv L A 1„ L R* Tromfrom ad VdrltJl Ulof Thls IS the fourth annual SUMMER JOB being y ctiiHontc ohr>iiiH or, or thinUnn ;t h0 W FAIR {J* Students should riGvor scc6pt cin offer it csn be _ ...... thinkinQ uL 0 , pnH pons®red Career Participants ,n his years A* disciplines and career canceled at a later employer could pursue legal O date-the , W f Services. & the actjon fair will include Ontario Hydro, Procter Gamble, Warner areas participate in + * a rt ' Ontario-Quebec Exchange Program Horizons After you have accepted an offer, either through ft |" ? JL pro gram. To learn more ef n' 9 6r ea ocie on-campus recruiting or other job search methods, please . 08, •Q* about this service, drop y D , *

• . . , Goodrich, ' mZ, o *(u jt •, Bingemany Park, Sportsworld, Internation 0 &W< W+c inform Career Services of the details. .' _ . QT, by career services and jf jj Foundationr x of Employee Benefit Plans, and many more. JJ* 7 .J ￿ ***￿￿￿￿￿￿￿*￿￿**￿*￿￿*****￿ J} CAN YOU AFFORD NOT TO ATTEND? 5* ask about A^K (Alumni J Sharing Knowledge). J

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• GRADUATING THIS YEAR LEARNING * rGETONYOUR 1 . UNSURE OF YOUR CAREER PLANS J Jt lotAOY! LADDER TO * . FACING UPCOMING INTERVIEWS i J CHECK OUT THE SUCCESS oBf\ " . LOOKING FOR SOME DIRECTION jf VIDEO TAPE LIBRARY 112 I \ J Attend JWilJiiil ! * //V CAREER SERVICES! Jf TO BE \ i irn-rfjfjVJl'"""'*"l """"-1 . AN fl| B ■ — -you should 4't includes taped video J employed grad ||HMi j * sessions on: + 112| aattpnrltlcllU Recruiting Orientation saturday ! Feb. 4, 1989 J 10 a.m. - 3 p.m. rT"** 1 Session, Facultyii. ofx w 1 3f J 1 FOCUS YOUR CAREER Education Reps, Resume* Paul Martin centre 1 Workshop. Job w e ■ I 1 1 »■ Writina r search methods, keepina your ■ "" ™ " * "" * T ' 5 ''' EE I Search Workshop, JSEKSSSf 111 I Infprvipw

Here's to those who wish us we 11... All the rest can go to hell. TheScene -Old Irish toast Pillow talk with Sons of Freedom something." By Cori Cusak saying and Android "I don't feel responsible for my generation," Newton states without concern. "I like to think Rumblings have been follow- that as a human being I have a ing the cross-country promotional conscience." More than trying to tour that Vancouver's Sons of influence people into active par- Freedom recently embarked on, ticipation in protesting, "I just coinciding with the release of a like to put thought bubbles in spectacular self-titled debut LP. people's heads." Although their biography labels "I've forgiven my parents for them "rebel rockers" with "ties to everything," Newton says with a revolution", the band more aptly smile. describes themselves as "pretty Sons of Freedom signed a much in your face". recording contract with Slash Last December 14th saw the Records, an independent label Sons of Freedom caravan roll from the States, that guaranteed through Waterloo, making a stop them Canadian distribution on at K-W's answer to the Toronto WE A Music. In addition, Slash club scene, Phil's Grandson's has made deals with other foreign Place. labels to have the album released Sleeping roadies in the dress- worldwide. The record, which has ing room, and closed restaurants been released domestically in En- nearby prevented us Cordies from gland, the United States and Can- interviewing the band in a tradi- ada, is due for release in Australia tional environment, so with no this month. So far reviews have

other option - this one seemed the been favourable, with support

most reasonable - we dragged coming from music magazines in Pictured above are the highly-touted Vancouver outfit Sons of Freedom. If they look a little lost, it England like Sounds, Melody weary vocalist Jim Newton and never showed during their show December 14th at Phil's Grandson's Place. drummer Don Short to Android's Maker, and the New Musical Ex- like press. place for an interview in his tensity," comments Newton . band enjoys. ary ideas, they re more post- Recently a video for "The bedroom, much to the chagrin of "People say, like...'Oh, you're "We are banging our head revolutionary ideas," Newton Criminal", the first single off the his roommates. loud,' you know, but to me it's against the wall a lot of the time. feels. He also believes that if they album, was added to the Much- Formed in 1986, Sons of like saying 'Oh Jim, you've got We are in a kind of neverground were to be typecast as a political

- Music playlist, gaining wider ex- Freedom borrow heavily from in- two eyes'". between FM and college too band they could not get away fluences as diverse as Led Zep- slick for some people and too recording or performing posure for the band. with bright for pelin, Killing Joke, PIL, and even Stylistically Sons of Freedom weird for other people," Newton songs like "Alice Henderson" or The future looks The Sex Pistols. At the same are a heavy, driving, guitar-based says. "Super Cool Wagon", both from Vancouver's Sons of Freedom. time, they've established their rock band. At times the music Lyrically, the band ranges the debut LP. The band may very well become own unique style. Although the borders on heavy metal, but also from the absurd to the political. a driving force in the Canadian Although everyone is toting record company describes it as a teeters around the seventies-ish Newton, who writes all the lyrics, music scene. "monolithic sound", Newton says Zeppelin feel. You might expect dispels the image that they are Sons of Freedom as borderline However, any attempts by the activists, "we don't write those things the audience to be filled with strictly agents of social change. social "First and fore- press to describe the life philoso- most," says Newton, "the band's (biographies). We'd never agree long-haired rockers, and while "At the moment," he explains, "I phy of Sons ofFreedom pale bes- responsibility is be a good rock on the damn thing. It would be you will find some there, the think, probably we always will be to ide the motto which appears on group...second is to be art- just like we play rock music and music seems to have drawn the completely unwilUng to actually thing the band's album sleeve: "Sons of istic, something that's all the bio would say." attention of the post-punk genera- define ourselves as a political to create that has Freedom...never retract, never to all, "From the very beginning we tion, better known as "the people band." the potential grow. Last of retreat, never apologize, get really, the list of priorities, is let them howl." wanted to make sure it had some in black". Sons of Freedom are The ideas the band presents in things done, and having something that's actually kind of an edge, like an in- difficult to pigeon-hole, a fact the "aren't really rebel or revolution- More power to 'em. Theatre Laurier play to debut next week

Special to The Cord the company their first op- portunity to perform in what Pro- It is perhaps one of Laurier's duction Manager Sheila Gatensby best kept secrets. The process be- deems a "real theatre". Recent gins when a group of young ac- renovations to the Theatre tors submit themselves to the Auditorium include a proper anxiety-ridden process of an audi- sound booth, a new sound system Blair

tion and - after a lengthy and ar- and a new lighting grid. Gatensby

duous rehearsal period - the comments that the new acquisi- group is transformed into a tions, along with the creation of Neville credible theatrical ensemble. It is an orchestra pit and a new paint by an admirable feat that has been job, has vastly improved the tech- repeated eight times over the past nical facet of the theatre. Up until photo five years and is about to occur last year, Theatre Laurier had again with this year's production been forced to schedule their re- of "A Chorus of Disapproval". hearsals in the T.A. during times Cord And while the faces of the per- when the Music Faculty didn't re- quire the space. Now, however, formers vary from year to year, Theatre Laurier's cast of "A Chorus of Disapproval" rehearses for next week's opening. the presence of Dr. Leslie O'Dell, the Aird Building provides a past seasons, the artistic director of Theatre well-deserved home for the facul- an administrative decision to ex- This now leaves O'Dell free to serves as the centrepiece to Festival Laurier's Laurier, has remained constant ty, allowing the theatre company pand Theatre Laurier's budget. concentrate on the job of direct- latitude when scheduling ing and leave some of the bur- 1989 presentation, "Stagestruck: since company's genesis greater stage manager, Anne * the in Assistant The the time and length of rehearsals. en- densome administrative tasks to The Secrets and Seduction 1983. But the annual turnover Marie Tymec, sees this as an * and Glory Of Life among the company's personnel An indication that the theatre couraging sign and notes that this the person occupying the new Greasepaint In The Theatre". The selection of is not the only change this year. company may finally be getting has allowed for the hiring of a position. of Disapproval" for This year's production offers some of the credit they're due is full-time production manager. This year's production, as in "A Chorus continued on pg. 12... The Cord Weekly 10Thursday, January 5,1988 Grad Photos SmU.T.& ZVfjg Satisfied Customers like Grant Thompson is tiiat byagreemeiit with the Student Union, are the sob on-campus RESUME are why Sooter Studio is a leader in grad we photos in town and across Canada.

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KITCHENER WATERLOO KITCHENER 525 Highland Rd. West 465 Phillip St. 607 King St. West 741-5050 746-4220578-5050 The Cord Weekly 11 Thursday, January 5,1988 The best film picks of the year that was By Jonathan Stover school pamphlets and made-for- technical wonder, if nothing else, TV movies: Willem Dafoe (the as Roger Rabbit and the rest of "good sergeant" in Platoon) is a the Toons interact in all their There were a lot of good films Christ who fears his necessary three-dimensional glory with released this year, and a few ex- martyrdom, and almost forsakes flesh-and-blood Bob Hoskins and cellent ones. I can't make any that path for a "normal life". Be- Christopher Lloyd. To paraphrase claim to have seen enough cause of his fear and indecision, Lloyd's somewhat-demonic movies this year to make this list Dafoe becomes a Christ one character, "My God, it was mar- a definitive one, but within the could believe in; one whose deci- velous". framework of about two dozen sion to die on the cross becomes forays to the movie theatre and a meaningful in light of his fears Die Hard - A thrill-a-minute gross (in some cases literally) of and never-to-be-experienced hu- action film from the guys who videocassette rentals, here's my man desires. gave you Lethal Weapon, "Ten Best" of 1988: Predator and The Running Dead Ringers - David Man, among others. After the Temptation Cronenberg most The Last of directs his ac- first ten minutes, Die Hard - complished, Christ On opening day, a bunch moving and harrow- doesn't let up for the rest of its of sign-carrying protesters ing "horror" film, without two-hours-plus length, as cop greeted me and a friend on the deformed mutants or human flies Bruce Willis battles extremely way out of the theatre. I hope anywhere in evidence. Jeremy well-dressed European terrorists they had a good time outside Irons' two performances as inside, outside and above a Los Angeles skyscraper. Undeniably thrilling. Tucker: The Man and his

Dream - Lost in a summer of too many successful movies was this entry, produced by George Lucas and directed by Francis Ford The Naked Gun - Brought to matical genius, but unable to Coppola of The Godfather and you by the people who created function in normal human Apocalypse Now fame. That was the airplane comedies, this cop society. A wholly improbable unfortunate, because Tucker spoof may be even funnier (in the "buddy" picture which neverthe- gloriously stupid way) deserved better. The true story of same than less works thanks to the efforts of Leslie Niel- a pioneering U.S. auto tycoon of that film. A deadpan both Hoffman and Cruise. the 1940s and his battles with the sen plays the luckiest stupid po- And as a footnote to the year big automakers and a government lice officer since Inspector Ciouseau, and there's a wonder- that was: which caters to them, Tucker ful promotion of safe sex techni- was big, bold and stylish in every telling. Most Improved Actor respect. Bridges gave per- ques. Any more would be Jeff the - - Cruise Award To Arnold Schwar- formance of his career as the Rain Man Tom cynical zenegger, who, in Red Heat and larger-than-life Preston Tucker. plays an opportunistic, con-man who, upon the death of Twins, gave notice of a fair talent A Fish Called Wanda - Add his father, discovers he has a for comedic acting. John Cleese as a stuffy English brother who has been confined to Those two performances barrister, Kevin Kline as a an institution since Cruise was notwithstanding, I'm excitedly Nietzsche-quoting American thief three years old. Cruise needs waiting for his portrayal of the with the personality of Daffy money to save his ailing business, title role in the upcoming Sgt. Duck, Jamie Lee Curtis as an and his brother has inherited the Rock. I hope they explain what oddball jewel thief with a passion entire three million dollar estate. this famous comic book soldier, making fools of themselves: in- identical twin gynecologists who for the Italian language, Michael So he kidnaps his brother, begin- who single-handedly killed more side, the best film of the year was descend into drug use, dementia Palin as the stuttering henchman ning an attempt to win custody of Nazis than the Russian winter, is playing. Director Martin Scor- and death are masterful as well. who knows where the key to a him - and the three million dol- doing with a thick Austrian ac- sese's Saviour is both divine and Who Framed Roger Rab- fortune is, and an hilarious script lars. Dustin Hoffman gives a re- cent. Hitler's good "twin" human, and tortured by that un- bit? - A hit film which deserved by Cleese, who also produced this markable performance as the brother? Is Danny DeVito avail- easy dichotomy. This is not the to be a hit. This dazzling mix of caper comedy. What do you get? brother, who is an "autistic able, and can he do an Austrian neatly-groomed, white-robed su- animation and live-action will go The funniest film of the year, savant", gifted with a photog- accent as well? perman of a thousand Sunday down in screen history for sheer with the possible exception 0f... raphic memory, and is a mathe- Ah, the possibilities... Haircut 100 alumni shines with new LP By Dave Lackie with Arista eight years ago. His tions. This album has a more ma- where Heyward feels every song first two solo albums, North of a ture sound to it and still retains is a possible single. There is no Miracle and Postcards From Nick Heyward is back with the jazz influence from Haircut "Whistle Down The Wind" here. a Home were not released domesti- new album entitled I Love 100. Instead, you get well written You cally in Canada so fans will You be songs that fit neatly into the pop Avenue. will remember pleased to know that this album Heyward as the lead vocalist for Half the songs were written groove. There is not anything in- has an earlier release date Haircut 100 which had such hits in by Graham Sacher. Heyward had credibly original on this album, North America than in One", the United tried writing with young people but then Nick Heyward as "Love Plus "Fantastic Kingdom. has never Day"and "Favourite Shirts". but found that they got excited pretended to be anything but a The first single, entitled over "riffs". He says that Sacher pop singer. Pick hits include I Love You Avenue is "You're My World", is an upbeat is in his forties and understands "You're My World", "If That's Heyward's first album with pop tune that has been getting the importance of songs over The Way You Feel" and "This Is Warner Brothers after signing regular play on many FM sta- riffs. The result is an album Love". The CordWeekly 12Thursday, January 5,1988 Merrit's annual concert a greatChristmas present By Tony Burke classic numbers combined with just taking the liberty, before we very comfortable performing in cartoon characters for parables. new songs slated to appear on do record, to try to do different his former hometown and at the Now I'm more interested in real Christmas is an occasion that their next album, arrangements of songs," Merritt school where he played basket- events." is steeped in tradition and rituals explained in a post-concert inter- ball as a teenager. Reansbury will practiced by friends and family. Merritt's unique style of view. Arthur Barlow, best known be returning to play at Laurier's Reading like a tour guide of Christmas in Brantford affords us music lends itself generously to for his work with Frank Zappa, Wilfs Cafe in February. Brantford, Merritt introduced the one annual tradition where experimentation. That improvisa- will produce the new album new material with humorous After a few minutes pause, a friends come together to experi- iionai spirit was brought to new which is scheduled to be recorded stories relating the songs to the taped saying ence the music of Brantford's na- heights as Merritt and regular in Toronto on the Bth of January. voice "Come on town. One local topic that con- everybody...let's go!" tive son Scott Merritt at the bandmates, drummer Bob Disalle rang cerns Merritt is the flooding of through and Brantford Collegiate Institute and bassist David Woodhead, The project will be the first the auditorium Scott the Grand River and the resulting for a new slowly onto Auditorium. The show on De- were accompanied by Toronto Merritt under seven- Merritt walked the erosion of the architectural relics recording contract stage plucking cember 28th was a celebration violinist/songwriter Hugh Marsh year with IRS away on his elec- dotting the riverbank. Merritt records (whose tric guitar to enjoyed by all as Merritt and his ana fellow Brantforaite Rose roster of talent "Chameleon". Some brought this problem to the currently die-hard fans engaged in a band played an energetic set of Rissi on the accordion. "We're includes R.E.M. and the Merritt audience's attention as he intro- Alarm). After ten years of being a bizarre duet as they asked, duced "Are You Sending?" with a full-time musician, Merritt feels "Where did he go?" to which tale of the "male bonding ritual" that the contract came at the best Merritt answered, "Come out shared by his friends down by the Music: Best of '88 time in his career: "If I was 18 chameleon, out where I can see river. They would sit and watch Nary a weak track on the album. this was dropped my lap, I objects by and Burns and in you." Following with "There You float attempt to By Dave that anyone couldn't I Lyrics are of the type handle it. wouldn't feel Are" and a slow, reggae-tinged identify them. Roars of laughter to lost like I'd earned a as The year 1988 was one of ups can relate (i.e. lost loves, it. That sounds version of "Music In The Attic" filled the air Merritt asked, bit arrogant I and downs for the alternative friends, etc...). and...so be it. know with bassist David Woodnead, "Hey, isn't that the mail they built - Lovely. not going to music scene. Unfortunately, for 5) The Primitives I'm be a millionaire, the audience greeted the arrival of last year?" referring to the with an edge. this writer, the 'downs' were Guitar-based pop each song with roars of approval. Eaton's Centre downtown which like the Jesus and I know I'm not going to have more frequent than the 'ups'. Almost sounding It was very pleasing to hear these has been sinking economically at times, this the big mansion, or the big trans- since its conception. There were some high points and Mary Chain particular selections as they have F with a port trucks following me across or the year. My top live albums British band debuted 14- been strangers to Merritt's per- ■or 1988 are listed below. While track album a la The Ramones; the country. I just want to keep Noting his aura of nervous ex- writing forming repertoire for the past it is admitted that I could not short songs that get to the point. songs. I like where things citement, I asked Merritt if being sample every release for the year, Honourable Mention: Midnight are right now, and I like where two years. recognized by the residents of the Replicas, things are pointing." Duke St. the following are my favourites Oil, Plastercine In true Talking fashion, small town was an annoyance to Records, Heads from the thirty or so albums I felt Afterali, Sons of Freedom and who released Merritt's the other performers him: "It doesn't really bother two previous albums, ascended the were worth $10 during '88: Smithereens. Serious In- stage progressively throughout me," he said, "it makes me un- While the above five albums terference and Gravity Is Mutual, - the first few numbers. Hugh 1) Tracy Chapman Tracy will continue to distribute comfortable. Canadians in gener- were strong releases, they did not his Marsh joined in for "Ping Pong Chapman: An obvious selection. records in Canada and they al are pretty introverted, so overshadow the break-up of some plan Song", his violin providing a The Boston native's combination to release a compact disc of people pass and they might excepuonai bands in 1988: songs refreshingly new texture to the | of from-the-heart lyrics and the from these two to say...'That was Scott', or some- albums coin- material. The com- backing of her acoustic guitar as a 1) Housemartins: They cide with band was thing gentle like that. It's not like The the release of the new pleted by Bob Disalle and Rose sccond voice vaulted her onto planned to up after three LP. they come up to you and break Rissi to play "Burning Train" and practically all the "best-of lists" years and they did. They often say...'YOU SUCK!'" Merritt's friend and former "Copetown", two songs which for 1988. No argument here. on up- sounded like the Smiths will appear Merritt closed the show with - bandmate Doug Reansbury on the album. 2) Hunters and Collectors pers, providing rhythmic guitar- "Raise Ship (For The Benefit opened the show at 8 p.m. Stand- A Fate: Another incredible effort based music and harmonic vo- Of Clergy)" from the LP Gravity ing upon a lonely stage with noth- The new material contains a from this group of Aussies. Their cals. They were not the Smiths in Is Mutual before returning to the ing to hide behind but his faithful more down to earth outlook than wide-ranging instrumental ar- that they never had to sing about stage, reunited with Doug Reans- six-string, Reansbury crooned Merritt's previous work as it is rangements coupled with strong their girlfriends lying uncon- bury, to play "Myopia". Strolling through a thirty minute - set of composed around local people lyrics touching on personal and scious in a hospital in order to off the stage strumming his dul- songs from his self-titled debut and local events. "I want some- political issues, provide a record- convey their message. cimer, Merritt left his band to fin- LP plus two songs that are yet to thing that I can touch", Merritt ing capable of reaching any hu- 2) Echo and the Bunnymen: As ish the song in a stupendous in- be released. Pausing occasionally reveals, "I got a lot of pleasure man beings with the ability to far as anyone can tell, lan McCul- strumental. The only disappoint- Ihink. to say "hi" to friends as they out of making those...well, they loch left the band with aspirations could be parables, only using ment to the event was the exclu- - walked in, Reansbury appeared 3) Billy Bragg Workers of opening his own hair salon. sion of some fan favourites such Playtime: It would have been dif- 3) The Chameleons: This group as the single "Overworked And ficult for Bragg to top his last al- of Brits produced music featuring be taken seriously. Mould and material from the Du's, I plan on Underprivileged" and "Lockstep". bum (Talking With The Taxman textured guitars, a strong bass and Hart wrote about their own expe- relying on my collection of their Yet the band can be forgiven con- Poetry) and, although he About haunting lyrics. They never took riences, wearing their emotions recordings to pull me through the sidering the limited amount of not here, effort is did succeed the their existence for granted, as and inadequacies on their sleeves. next few years without a hitch. time they must have had to prac- mil worth commendation. A seen in ihe text on any album They could put emotions, which Finally, a quasi-obituary: tice as a unit for the first time. personal political more less al- cover. While two of the members most would find hard to describe, While few people know it, im- For the Scott Merritt fan, bum seemingly obsessed with went on to form The Sun and the into words, making use of simple postors took over two well- Brantford is the ideal location to

- love - or the lack thereof along Moon in 1988, there is an unfilled but profound lyrics. As Melvin known bands during 1988. U2 showcase his talents. Only in his with a wider range of instruments void in the music of this new Nerde wrote in the January 1987 and R.E.M. were both ambushed hometown can Scott create the af-

voice almost - made his sound in band's debut album. edition of Nerve: "The best Bus by money-hungry, self-indulgent fable atmosphere that was present tune at times. I'm not sure if 4) Husker Du: Undoubtedly, in ker Du songs are iikc flying from ciones who felt compelled to in the BCI Auditorium. The that's good or bad. my mind, the best group ever Iowa to Atlantic City comfortably release albums whose sole pur- release of the next Scott Merritt 4) The Rave Ups - The Book of formed. Bob Mould's guitar with strapped to the nose of a plane: pose was to impress their respec- album can be eagerly anticipated Your Regrets: This is a roots Grant Hart's frenetic drumming it's a disconcerting buzz but you tive record labels and AM radio, and - as always - we Brantfordites based, countrv-rock band much combined to provide a non-stop get to see everything at once.' not themselves. Oh well, there's look forward to his return to play along the lines of the BoDeans. deluge of energy that just had to While there wili be no new always Tiffany. his hometown next Christmas.

WILFRID LAURIER UNIVERSITY INVITES YOU TO EXPERIENCE Lead-up to festival continued from pg. 9... appears quite formidable. Highlights include an informal production is based on a "demo- lecture by Christopher Newton, cracy of approach", says artistic director of the Shaw Festi- Gatensby. "The play is chosen on val, next Tuesday. The following the basis of the talents of the evening sees the Second City people who audition. We don't comedy troupe at the Turret On select one play and then try to Saturday, the final performance THE SECRETS AND SEDUCTION • THE GREASEPAINT AND GLORY • OF LIFE IN THE THEATRE lUffiisißiCK shove people into parts. Instead, date of "A Chorus Of Dis- we come to the auditions with a approval", a backstage tour of the TUES JAN 10: CHRISTOPHER NEWTON ARTISTIC DIRECTOR short list of suitable productions Theatre Auditorium featuring in- FOR SHAW FESTIVAL-FREE and take it from there". The one structionals on lighting, make-up, Wmi JAN SECOND CITY COMEDY-TICKETS liw WED II: thing that all potential plays have set and costume take place. Mm THUR JAN 12: OPENING NIGHT FOR A CHORUS OF will DISAPPROVAL • TICKETS in common is that they are all The Festival, says Gatensby, is M SAT JAN 14: BACKSTAGE TOUR -FREE ensemble pieces geared to feature designed to immerse those inter- &; r: w \. jF ' also:.free entertainment in w.l.u. concourse at. *.. more than one or two leading ac- ested in the aspects of the theatre / NOON EVERYDAY F tors. which are often go unnoticed The lead-up to next Thurs- when the lights are brought up 112 ' «■ • ■ day's opening night performance and the curtain raised. FOR MORE INFORMATION AND TICKETS CAU THE W.L.U.S.U. INFO CENTRE • 884 5210 The Cord Weekly 13 Thursday, January 5,1988 SPORTS Coaches discuss university tactics Recruiting -- A High School Perspective By Sarita Diaram by the same token, you have to saw a University of Waterloo thought echoed by many of the help the kid, too. That means get- football coach in our school. So, F.H.C.I. coaches. Easton tells the ting them into the right program," to me, that's inexcusable," Easton story of one young football player As children, many people said Paul Pavan, coach of the said. whom he coached at W.C.1., who dream of becoming high-calibre girls' volleyball team at F.H.C.1., was talented enough to play for Athletic ability is not the only athletes, and from an early age as well as being assistant any university, but could not get requirement that recruiters look they strive to attain that goal. women's volleyball coach at the into any of them because of his for. Athletes must also achieve School has not only University of Waterloo. academics. That football player is become a the academic standards of forum for learning the currently a defensive player for but one of recruiting prospective university. athletic accomplishment. The procedures This has the Laurier Golden Hawks. The by posed a problem for process ofrecruiting identifies used the universities are universities the varied, but which have high admission re- few truly talented athletes who most frequently letters Again, whether this picture of asking if they have any potential have the skill to make it at the Laurier's adherence to its stated university level, and possibly in entrance levels still applies, or is the pros. Laurier is an exam- just a remnant from its past Recruiting most Waterloo Lutheran ple schools that history, only The recruiting system that has of often takes the form the future will tell. As the number emerged in Canada is very low- are experiencing dif- of letters to coaches of university applicants continues key when compared to that exist- ficulty in recruiting about potential to rise, and the academic stan- ing in the United States. Accord- because of admis- university-calibre dards begin to climb, so must the ing to coaches at Forest Heights academic ability sions restrictions.... athletes.... of the prospec- Collegiate Institute in Kitchener, tive university athlete. Wilfrid Laurier University simply university calibre players and, quirements, Laurier being a prime fits into that larger pattern. if Overall, recruiting is positive- so, would these players be able to example. Because of the restric- ly looked at and viewed to be meet the academic requirements. tions, scouts from these univer- Many of the coaches at Forest beneficial to the universities and Other methods of recruitment difficulty in Heights, in light of their dealings are sities have more to the players, because both are scouting at high-school all-star recruiting players who possess with recruiters, view recruiting getting what they want. In the games, tournaments run by the the athletic ability, but not the positively. "My experiences, most opinions of F.H.C.I. coaches, and needed academic grades. of them from Canadian univer- universities themselves, as in Laurier has proved to be just like have been positive, the case of basketball, camps run sities, very It is on this point that Laurier other universities when it comes because the kids outside of the high-schools for are exposed to comes into conflict. Easton per- to recruiting. places and other programs that those players who are interested in a university career. ceives Laurier as still, "suffering they might not normally be ex- from an image problem". There is In the words of Coach Pavan: posed to," said Darv Easton, Despite portrayals in some a long held conception that "Laurier is just like any other senior football coach at F.H.C.I. aspects of the media of recruiting Laurier's academic standards are place. They're no different. Take as being too look at pushy and overbear- not as high as other universities a their football program; Recruiting is looked at by ing, F.H.C.I, they coaches view and that the administration is not don't get a good football many high school coaches as a recruiting efforts by just Canadian as stringent about enforcing them. program by sitting on their necessary process in order for the universities being as too lax. So, if athlete cannot get into butts and doing nothing. Those universities to build successful an a Many good athletes have been any other university because of guys are out there recruiting. program. But they also believe to lost the more concerted recruit- academics, he always When they had Tuffy Knight, you that recruiting should be done poor can ing efforts of universities in the get into Laurier. knew damn well that he was fairly and properly. "If you want U.S. "When I was at Waterloo recruiting. And I'm sure Rich to get the kid to your school, to (Collegiate Institute) for the ten How true this portrayal is no Newbrough is doing the same improve your program, good, but years I was there, I never ever one can really tell, but it is a thing."

Hawks reach championship finals 'Stangs nasty as hosts at Purple and White

By Mary Anne deBoer round. The Mustangs have always been a difficult team for the Hawks to defeat, so the Laurier two point lead after the first half was seen as quite an accomplishment. In the end, however, the Mustangs The Annual Purple and White Tournament hosted by Western took control and won the game 89-73. last week brought the Men's Basketball Hawks pre-season to a close. "They really did a job on us in the second half," commented The Hawk effort provided the squad with a confidence that will be re- Coulthard. "Defensively, they did things that took us out of our of- quired to be successful in the upcoming season. fense." The four team tournament saw Laurier enter into competition with Tony Marcotullio was the highscorer of the second game with 20 the Queen's Golden Gaels, the K-W Titans, and the host Western points, while Mike Alessio scored 15 points. Both were named to the Mustangs. All three teams have proven to be stiff competition for the All-Star team. Nino Miksic, a highly valued rookie, scored 14 points Hawks in the past for the Hawks. "Nino could have easily been on the All-Star team In the first game, the Hawks were up against the local K-W Titans too," said Coulthard. "He is really coming into his own." who, earlier in the pre-season, beat the Hawks by 13 points. How- In addition to Miksic, the coach praised Gary Lankowski for his ever, the Hawks displayed an obvious improvement since the first en- outstanding efforts. "Gary is playing extremely well," said Coulthard. counter, as they led by four after the first half, and totally dominated "He is probably one of the smartest players we have and he has prac- in the second half. The 89-63 final score for the Hawks was a great ticed well and therefore he deserves to play." indication of their ability to act as a cohesive team. To sum up the pre-season, the coach concluded that the team was "We are playing extremely well" said coach Chris Coulthard. "In- not in sync. Although their past few games have shown their true ca- dividual players are beginning to do what they were meant to do." pabilities, the coach still feels there is plenty of room for improve- Tony Marcotullio and Mike Alessio played strongly throughout the ment, especially when it comes to offense. "But," adds Coulthard, tournament scoring 26 and 25 points respectively in the first game. In there is more cohesion, more enthusiasm and certainly more direc- addition, Paul DeSantis scored 14 points to complete the three top- tion." All of this points towards a successful season. scorers. The Hawks next home game is against the Brock Badgers on Sat- The Western Mustangs, who handled Queens quite easily in their urday night The Hawks opened their season last night, hosting the al- first round match-up, were pitted against the Hawks in the second ways tough Windsor Lancers. j The Cord Weekly 14Thursday, January 5,1988 sports

Hooper -— an "Ace" in the hole

By Stephan Latour Despite a 2-0 loss in the game, a his future remains bright. "Ace" Lyndon Hooper needs match against the Brazilian magic Currently, he plays for the no introduction in Canadian soc- meant a lot in developing his Montreal Supra of the Canadian cer circles since he is one of the career. The other moment oc- Soccer League, after spending a young midfield wizards on the curred in 1986 when Hooper year with the Ottawa National national squad. showed his lethal scoring touch, Pioneers. His preference is clear- A native of Guyana, Ace im- netting the first marker for the ly with the Supra since "they play migrated to Canada at the age of Canucks in a tournament in my style, and they allow me to 11 and started kicking the leather Singapore. show myself." C.S.L. fans know for the Nepean Minor Soccer pro- Unfortunately, though, a suc- this all too well since he dazzled gram in Ottawa. This was only cessful career must also be with his creativity and determina- the beginning of a career that has marked by disappointments, and tion. been punctuated by several Ace's is no different. The biggest A typical bread-and-butter highlights, as well as various dis- disappointment, not only for Ace, player, Hooper has been de- appointments. but for all Canadian soccer scribed by his Laurier coach When asked to describe the fanatics, was the 4-3 loss to Barry Lyon as not your typical highlights, Hooper did not Guatemala in the recent World rah-rah leader. He is a player who hesitate to mention two Cup qualifying matches. Advan- leads by example. memorable moments. One was cement in die World Cup tourna- As for the future, Hooper is his appearance for the Canadian ment would have meant a good looking towards the C.S.L., "as Youth team against Brazil in deal of international exposure for long as the money is right." Al- setback, Acapulco a few years ago. Hooper, but despite the though some European contacts were made during the Matthews Cup in 1988, his European career Two Lady Hawks qualify for CIAU's has been put on hold until he fin- ishes school. School is something Special to the Cord brite was not to be denied in the The Golden Swim Hawks in the 100 free. Smith captured that has not been an easy part of The last meet of the season, 200 metre breaststroke. Doucette were not to be outdone, either. first place in the 200 backstroke, life for someone with commit- hosted by the Brock Badgers and also won the 100 mere freestyle. Led by Peter Stratford, they while finishing second in the 200 ments to the national squad. Badgerettes, was very profitable Ottenbrite grabbed a first in the brought home seven gold medal butterfly and the 100 backstroke. This week, Hooper will fill for the WLU Swim teams. The 100 metre breaststroke and a sec- placings. Stratford earned four In other mens' results, Hubert the ranks during the first indoor Laurier men won the overall ond in the 200 metre individual firsts, in the 100 and 200 metre Vandenberg placed third in the world tournament in the Nether- competition, and two Lady medley. breaststroke, the 200 individual 200 breaststroke, Dave lands. Keep an eye on the results Hawks qualified for the CIAU Other top ladies' results saw medley, and as part of the 4xloo Stableforth third in the 200 free, in the paper, as Ace should pro- championships in three events. Kathy Coats take Laurier's sixth medley team. In the medley, he and Paul Self second in the 200 vide some scoring punch for this Lenore Doucette and Anne gold medal of the day in the combined with Dave Smith, Mike free. young Canadian team. backstroke, as well as plac- Verhoeve, Menniga. Overall, the men took the Ottenbrite led the Laurier con- 100 m and Rich Soccer fans agree that Pele is ing second in the 200 backstroke. first in the team championship 61-50 over tingent by posting times that will Verhoeve also placed a god with a soccer ball, but who Kelly two the host Badgers, while the Lady send them to the nationals. Havrilla took home 100 backstroke and third in the 50 knows, Hooper might Hawks were outdistanced in become the Doucette qualified in the 100and third placings in the 100 breast- freestyle. Menniga took first in the Canadian disciple. 200 metre butterfly, while Otten- stroke, and the 50 metre freestyle. the 50 metre freestyle and second final standings, 66-44.

Lady Hawks hope for KOH-I-NOOR FOR BEST INDIAN CUSINE more luck in new year Established in the U.K. and Montreal Curry, Tandorland Vegetarian dishes are our specialty.

- By Serge Grenier sions later UWO regrouped to tie the SPECIAL 3 COURSE LUNCH : MON - FRI 11:30 2:00 pm score at 7-7 and shut down the Hawks Liscence Applied for. Served: English and German Beer over the following five possessions This is a tale of two teams who while scoring eight times to win the on tap. traded places. game. The fifteenth point again was the 10% Discount with student ID card parking at rear Two seasons ago, the Western result of a service ace. Mustangs resided in the basement of the . The Mustangs had regained control 338 King St. E. OWIAA West with a young, promising end of two and displayed a by the game no » team while the WLU Lady Hawks were intention of losing it in game three. The TEL: 745 - 3600 in the middle of the division pack. London crew hit the ball aggressively, This season, it is the Hawks who while good blocking neutralized the

regions - reside in the division's nether Hawks offensively, again. The Mustangs Mon. - Sat. 11:30 am 2:30 pm while Jgpr with a promising young team, had three aces during the game but this is battling for a playoff spot. 5:00 pm -11:00 pm Western time did not win with one. The point that The point was driven home convincing- pulled the curtain down on the evening Sunday 5:00 pm-11:00 pm ly, encounter before as in their last of a Cathy Hall at- volleyball Mustangs came from a block Christmas the tack. their Hawk counterparts defeated Lady Floats and Serves: The game at the Athletic 3-0 before a sparse crowd marked personal milestone for setter 15-5, a REMINDER Complex. The game scores were Paula Baker. Game day also happened to 15-7 and 15-2. be her birthday...The next Hawk action |j|| X/V \ DAILY SPECIALS is this Friday as they participate in the I IN OUR DINING ROOM ended the first ji Western began and Queen's Invitational Tournament in game the same way - by serving an ace. Tues. Wed. FREE Gourmet Soup regular season resumes • Kingston. The - Lunch with any Meal valued at $4.00 They registered four aces in the game, for the squad January 19 when they will and caught the Lady Hawk service host the Guelph Gryphons. reception committee flat-footed on three DINE IN OR TAKE OUT occasions. The Mustangs' strong block- Mon. evening Buy any Food item at regular ing, combined with an unsure Laurier ' price and receive a second defence and soft attacks, resulted in a thorough domination of the first contest item of equal or less value for half price The second game began under much Evening Buy one hamburger or garlic burger & receive 2nd more favourable auspices for the Lady • M at 1/2price Hawks. In their first two possessions, the Wed. Evening FREE WINGS! Hawks a 4-0 lead and appeared L LJ-J grabbed §~ 50% more with every be on their way to tying the evening's to /TueS. Order. Single or Double action. A strong Hawk blocking streak forced the Mustangs to miss many at- Hawks extend tacks and enabled the to Parkdale II Plaza, 465 Phillip St. Waterloo 884-0001 their lead to 7-3. However, two posses- The Cord Weekly classifieds 15Thursday, January 5,1988 PERSONALS WELCOME back Delta To Miss Amazon Baby: HEATHER: Contact your UPCOMING EVENTS SERVICES Omega Phi! Here's to an- First all that time in Nice favourite limbs for pos- POWDERPUFF other great rush. Members and then a tour of Europe? sible excavation. —— S.O.S. Sheila's Office Ser- Any teams prepare yourself for pow- L °unsellors Typing Word COACHES: You'd better come home hh 112 h 1 vices and requiring sweaters, cheap, derpuff football! in February or you'll HELP! The Romulans needed tor developmental- Processing. Manuscripts, delayed individu- quick delivery, call 884- never get your Christmas have crossed over the y Resumes, Cover Letters, als.Expenence or will etc. 4166. pvumar TTpc n 'present'! By the Neutral Zone! The Correspondence, Stu- G NASTICS Coaches—u~ train. $6.53/ Every way...l've put a down pay- Klingons have broken the hour dent Rates. 746-8508. we.n K.rk wears a rugl « lnto " available weeknights. Sat- P hone™6s3653 Jeez, universe really J884-6012,°12 886886- buoyant waterfowl just the 2Pm s for moving. $25/hr ' to 3U> aren't my thing, you dig? CORI, if you wanted us to has gone pot. K-W area. Gary at 746- Can I trade my tux in to be your slaves, you didn't — CAREER Services work- 7160. THANKS Delta Phi Hi " become Hodge-Podge, have to wreck your knee. HELP WANTED shops this week: Focus wnpn p ~Z~ portnoy, or even Steve Mr. Chi Beta says bye Meow & D.L. Your Career, Tues, Jan 10, 1?™!!!™'!!™! Dallas?! By the way. Gamma drinks rye Bridge WEEKEND Counsellors 2:30-4:00. Resume Writ- S° work over River Kwai Boy you POLAR PAWS, You're oto ac^Klv what's in your anxiety nee ded to work with de- tag Workshops , Tues Jan f J™, closet? Frat boys really sound too cool. K. velopmentally delayed in- 10, 1-2 pm Check Career corn Sons guaxaS — y- dividuals in area group Services for locations. 74* 83 TO MY ROOMIES (fart D.W. homes. Experience Also, Wed the 11th, — pig & smoke pig from DELTA OMEGA PHI Welcome back from the preferred but will train. 10:30-3:00pm in the Tur- ACCURATE word pro- Winter Rush! January 10- cessing, letters, resumes, hell): Beware of long great white north. Thanxs $6 53/hr Work every 2nd ret, Summer Job Fair. & 19. reports etc. Reasonable schlongs domes from All girls welcome. for job recommenda- weekend. Leave message Tuesday the rates. Call evenings, Kann hell. That is, if you use 10th, come to tion for Qon at 884.6012 or WLU ENVIRON-

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EAT-IN •DRIVE-THRU •TAKE-OUT amm m m ■ The Cord Weekly 16Thursday, January 5,1988 Sensitive Guys: New Breed of the 80s?

By Nairne Holtz with my feelings. I can appreciate progressiveness. After you finish Q: Uh, something like that, yes. wers. My name isn't going to The Dalhousie Gazette beauty in the world around me, I that pool length, casually state, A: See, that's another area where show up anywhere in this, is it...? have a less goal-oriented ap- "You know, I really enjoy swim- the whole equality issue comes Times are changing, and proach to my career, and I've ming because of its non- up with sensitive guys. When Feeling a bit nauseous, at this sensitive guys say they're right learned to cry since the manual competitive nature," or "Well! your lover raises that question, point the interview ended, leaving for the times. arrived. I'm not like other men Sports where you don't have to you had better be prepared to deal Stefan S. to read Simone de One of the newest animals to anymore. be violent are so much better!" with it. That's even if you find Beauvoir's Second Sex, over a prowl the eighties social that area down there personally cooling cup of herbal tea. landscape is the Sensitive Guy, Q: How so? Q: What exactly led you to this distasteful. Where equality comes As I left, a familiar faint voice those men who aren't too stiff to A: Well, I've progressed beyond critique of traditionally masculine in is that it often...obliges women could be heard from the cafe even cry or too shy to tell everyone the he-man approach to life sports? Was it recent socio- to do something in return, some- over the noise of the street: "Hey, about it. One such tamed beast is where aggression is something to psychological research on the ef- thing they might not ordinarily would you like to talk about Stefan S., whom we found at a lo- be rewarded and you put a tough fects of aggression in sports? do. It all balances out. pornography from a male per- cal cafe in the act of detailing his exterior before the world. I'm not A: Yeah—uh, absolutely. That, spective? I have some feelings I'd shortcomings to a young woman. interested in impressing anyone and the fact that I never was any Q: That's sick. like to share with the right per- We managed to distract his at- by my physical prowess or by ac- good at them anyway. I must've A: Hey, you asked for honest ans- son..." tention long enough to obtain the ting like a cave-man. seen what trivial, useless sports following interview; they were even before I was Q: You've made a conscious de- sensitized. Question: What exactly are sensi- cision to reject these unhealthy tive guys and how did they come attitudes, then? Q: I see...lf you don't mind us about? A: They never really worked for saying this, most of your Answer: Well, I don't normally me, anyway. responses seem geared towards like to speak for a group because meeting women—feminist that's a very male-identified trait, Q: Hmmm. Maybe you could of- women anyway. Have you but I will anyway. The way I see fer some insights into your modified your sexual life any to it, times are changing, and sensi- lifestyle—with a few tips for the accommodate this? tive guys are those men who see aspiring sensitive guy? A: You bet. The cave-man ap- the need to change or be.Jeft be- A: Sure, I do have some ideas for proach is dead for sensitive guys. hind. For me it started when this other men. I guess the first thing One good alternate way to work woman I was dating sort of I'd mention is the importance of things is to say, "You really look turned into a feminist. the correct friends to a sensitive tense, how about a nice foot mas- lifestyle. Having a gay friend is sage?" That can lead just any- Q: That made you more very important. where... responsive to women's needs? A: Absolutely. I found she wasn't Q: You mean friends? Q: What about the act itself? How paying attention to me when I A: No, that's friend in the is that changed? talked about my job, my univer- singular. You see, it's important A: Well, the tyranny of man-on- sity courses, or even the little to maintain contact with an op- top, woman-on-bottom sex is bald spot on the top of my head pressed male group, and prove definitely over, let me tell you. that's thinning really fast—see? how open-minded you are. One It's important to let your (he leans over). So, all of a sud- gay friend does just fine for that. girlfriend know how strongly you den we had nothing to talk about If you have too many gay friends, feel your sexual habits should be after coming back from dates. I a sensitive guy might give off the balanced, with her in command thought our relationship was over wrong...messages to women. Les- some of the time, and you on top until I decided to read some of bians are another matter, though. at times also. If you work it just those books she'd been reading. When you can tell your date, "As right, when you're kinda tired or I was talking to Sarah yester- bored you can let her take charge. Q: And that made you more day—she's lesbian, and I'm the That way, when you're in the responsive to women's needs? last man she's close friends mood, you can get on top and it'll A: Oh, absolutely. After reading with—"...then you're in the sensi- be your turn. the books, I could see exactly tive guy club for life. Of course, what feminists didn't like about actually being gay is going a bit Q: That's as far as your changes men. So I went to my girlfriend overboard—for me anyway. go? of the time and said, "Look, I'm A: Oh, not by a long shot. One dominating, insensitive, patriar- Q: You certainly have thing I've found is that there's chal, and on average I can earn some...unique political beliefs nothing women hate more than much more than an equally- A: I've been told that. Something men justrolling over and going to qualified woman. Let's talk about like that, anyway. sleep after sex. That's real- it." She did, and we had some- . \ ly...insensitive. So after I've just thing to relate to again. Our rela- Q: Besides who you're seen with, made love, I always make sure to tionship was allowed to run its are there other lifestyle changes a spend the time afterwards in gen- course on an even keel. It worked novice sensitive guy should tle touching and caressing. with other women I went out with make? too. A: Well, your position on sports Q: Now that sounds like a posi- is another choice that says a lot tive change. Q: You're not very responsive to about a man's sensitiveness. A: Absolutely. I figured out that women's needs are you? it takes the same amount of time A: I think I am. Whenever Q: How so? to fall asleep whether you roll women have a need, I try to A: There are sensitive sports and over or do this caressing business. respond with one of my own. he-man sports. Sensitive sports So it's not like it's an effort or That way we're more equal. aren't limited to big-muscled men anything. Sometimes your lover competing. They're open to both even gets aroused again, so it's Q: Are you saying you haven't men and women; sports like jog- just good sense to do it. learned anything about yourself ging, swimming, cycling and so by being a sensitive guy? on are ideal sensitive guy sports. Q: But what about the woman's A:That's not what I'm saying at It's a good idea to talk about how pleasure? FEATURE all. Since I've been a sensitive good it is, too —especially to A: Ohhh. You mean the clitoris guy, I've gotten more in touch women who can appreciate your thing.