sign in sign up
<<
Home , Mrinalini Sarabhai

International Journal of Research (IJR) Vol-1, Issue-5, June 2014 ISSN 2348-6848

Dancing Toes: Expressing Self in Mrinalini Sarabhai’s The Voice of the Heart

Anupriya Roy Srivastava Lecturer (English), Amity School of Languages, Amity University, Lucknow Campus, Uttar Pradesh

Abstract

Autobiographies of public women relate that women are no less than men in intellect and skill. This paper will explore the construction of the various aspects of self in the autobiography of a public woman − Mrinalini Sarabhai, the development of her ‘self’ as a renowned public figure and how she fulfils her role as a daughter, as a wife, and as a mother. An exploration of the self of the author will bring out how she fulfilled her domestic roles, people who encouraged and motivated her to pursue her education and subsequently her career, her experiences in acquiring the status of a celebrity, and how the private self and the public self of a celebrity woman exist without clashing with each other.

Keywords:

Dancing Toes, Expressing Self, Mrinalini Sarabhai, Voice of the Heart

Dancing Toes: Expressing Self in Mrinalini Sarabhai’s The Voice of the Heart Page 1003

International Journal of Research (IJR) Vol-1, Issue-5, June 2014 ISSN 2348-6848

Earlier there were hardly any women’s inability of that discourse to include their autobiographies that documented their voices in its history. . . ” (p. 114). achievements in public life. Women were Autobiographies of public women expected to conform to the traditional roles of modify the laid down conceptions of the daughters, wives and mothers assigned to narrative structure of conventional them by the social structure and were allowed autobiography. In men’s autobiographies, to speak on one predominant theme: their generally, the authorial voice has remained by love-affairs or their marriage or life after and large monophonic where only a single marriage and once a woman entered into the voice is heard. Autobiographies of public orbit of marriage, the only priority in her life women subvert the established notion of the was her man, his career and their children. If genre and represent experimental version of ever she achieved anything, she could not autobiography displaying polyphonic write about it in the pages of her narrative structures where multiple voices of autobiography, as Patricia Spacks (1980) their family, friends, relatives and media- writes: personalities are heard and they overlap with Although each author has the authorial voice. Interviews, photographs, significant, sometimes news reports in popular print and electronic dazzling accomplishments to media, journals, magazines and newspapers her credit, the theme of that often make them nostalgic are inserted in accomplishment rarely their autobiographies to commemorate and dominates the narrative. . . . monumentalize their success in public domain Indeed to a striking degree and that they wish to share them with their they fail directly to emphasize readers. This act of insertion of photographs their own importance, though and interviews in their autobiographies writing in a genre which depicts two aspects of public women’s life- implies self-assertion and self- writing: first, the pictorial renderings bring display. (p. 113-114) into focus their relational selves, and second Women had to face many odds and these images show how they value their adversities in gaining recognition as public ordinariness. In what appears to be candid figures along with maintaining homes and expressions of their lives, these women they took up the challenges and overcame all successful in public sphere have endeavoured obstacles as Sarah Gilead (1988) explains that to maintain a delicate balance between their “the conflicted subject dramatises not only public as well as their private lives by giving universal problems of identity, the desiring priorities to both. Jane Marcus (1988) has self forced by the exigencies of civilisation to aptly remarked: relinquish or rechannel desires, but the As public figures of great particular problems of women who in intellectual or artistic patriarchal societies are cast into the achievement, the women . . . contradictory roles of culture-preserver and used their autobiographies to culture-threat” (p. 43). Their erasure from the show that they were also mainstream autobiographical discourse urged women, creatures for whom them to voice their achievements in their lives relationship and community through their life-writing. Jane Marcus (1988) were very important. Their has pointed out that: “What seems significant achievements were brilliant, is not the female struggle to enter male public but they show themselves in discourse, which feminist scholars have the mediocrity of their lives as documented, but the recognition of the women who are connected to community by the ordinariness

Dancing Toes: Expressing Self in Mrinalini Sarabhai’s The Voice of the Heart Page 1004

International Journal of Research (IJR) Vol-1, Issue-5, June 2014 ISSN 2348-6848

and materiality of their and a well-trained dancer succeeds when she womanhood. (p. 127) communicates with her surroundings using This paper will analyse the the art of dance as a language. Mrinalini construction of self in The Voice of the Heart (2004) says, “As a poet forms a mental (2004), the renowned autobiography of picture with words, the body speaks, creating Mrinalini Sarabhai, the veteran dancer, meaningful emotions that are not of the choreographer, poet, writer, environmentalist, intellect” (p. 117). In an interview with Arnab humanist and dance instructor. An analysis of Banerjee (2008), Mrinalini defines dance as her autobiography will also include social and “My life. My passion. It’s everything that I cultural conditions of the time in which she can recall or share and comprehend. Whatever reared herself up to become public woman. I perceive it’s through the eyes of dance — be An exploration of her ‘self’ in her it nature, the environment — I see it as a autobiography demonstrates how Mrinalini continuum of life through the prisms of has established herself as a dancer, how she yesterday, today and tomorrow”. Mrinalini has worked to spread beyond (2004) elaborates her passion for dance in the the border of , how she has used the art introduction to her autobiography: of dance and its appeal to audience to Dance or any other expression, eradicate evils of our society and to bring is a reflection of one’s inner change. Mrinalini (2004) writes in her spark, which in outer life is autobiography, “Continuously through the given a form. . . . years people ask me, ‘What is dance to you?’ Dance is a fundamental My reply usually is, ‘It is my breath, my and spontaneous expression of passion, my self’” (p. 13). She also portrays humankind . . . and all creative her life as a girl, her relationship with her work is a mystical experience. parents and with her in-laws, and then how In literature, in dance, in she became a good wife, mother and drama, indeed in all the arts, grandmother and also how she continuously inspiration is the springboard struggled to pursue her career as dancer. for the final work. But Apart from being a loving wife of the inspiration is itself the result of renowned personality, , she many years of study, of deep has been a responsible mother of two very knowledge and of hard work. famous personalities − and (p. 9-10) Kartikeya Sarabhai. Through many decades, Mrinalini has Her autobiography reveals that shown how all classical arts are cultivated and throughout her life, Mrinalini has identified refined as forms of aesthetics and therefore, her inner self with the art of dance. Her how different postures of our body can be passion for dance and her inner self are employed to create exquisite patterns in time inseparable; both aspire to rise to the same and space. This becomes possible when a domain – divinity. When she dances, she dancer imbibes the art of dance so well that it seems to enact it as divine art. Mrinalini does not remain merely a craft rather rises (2004) writes, “When I dance there is a above the mundane existence as Mrinalini spiritual energy that emanates from the inner (2004) writes: depths of my being. Time and again critics Once on stage, I forget have written and people have spoken about everything. When I dance, this quality” (p. 219). Describing what dance there is no feeling of ‘my’ or is, Mrinalini explains that the outer ‘self’! It is as though a whole expression of face and body involved in dance dimension of spiritual energy is the index of the inner sense of the dancer takes over my being. I am no

Dancing Toes: Expressing Self in Mrinalini Sarabhai’s The Voice of the Heart Page 1005

International Journal of Research (IJR) Vol-1, Issue-5, June 2014 ISSN 2348-6848

longer aware of the living (2004) writes that in Paris, people are more world. In those moments I feel critical, “knowledgeable and powerful, the as if some strange power best in the world” (p. 128) and are more within me is released: creating particular about details. The French critics a oneness with the ‘Supreme’, were perceptive and had a taste for the best: a wholeness and unity with the “they had watched so many artists and had the cosmos, like an enlightenment power to make or break a career in the west” of my self! (p. 129) (Mrinalini, 2004, p. 128). Performing in front As soon as she enters the stage, she suddenly of such audience and critics and winning their finds herself in a place where she has full of hearts and earning their respect and reverence liberty to enact bodily postures, expressions were tough for her but she could succeed. and movements, but that too ‘within the After her performance there, the news in the framework of technique’. She perceives that newspaper read, “Mrinalini Sarabhai has her inner self fully absorbed in her dance conquered Paris − a great dancer, a great art!” performance communicates with her audience (Mrinalini, 2004, p. 130). Mrinalini (2004) to make them focus on her art. It seems at that glorifies this moment in her autobiography as time that she dominates the entire stage to things took a turn with this acceptance by pour out her passion through her dance and Paris critics: “From that moment on, our presents her inner consciousness through it: reviews were ecstatic, contracts poured in, What is so meaningful in and I became a celebrity in the western world, Indian classical dance is the a ‘professional’ in the toughest profession − complete austerity of the stage show business! (p. 130). It also restored her setting. There are no props, no faith in herself and gave her a better decor, nothing infringes upon understanding of arts and aesthetics as she the stark beauty of the dancer writes: who creates a universe through When I came to Paris, I was her movement: the expression rather worried about how of life, of death, of love and classical South Indian dancing hate, of the struggle between would be received by the good and evil, developing the audiences. Yet inside me was excitement of a theme with her the great desire to show to the limbs, her face, her fingers and west what to me was a most the profundity of her eyes. The perfect technique. The manner dancer draws the audience into in which it was appreciated new insights, into a spiritual, everywhere reaffirmed my thought-provoking dimension. belief that art is always able to . . . Conscious awareness and transcend all barriers of then unconscious national differences, whether understanding envelops me in music, painting or dance, when I dance. (Mrinalini, and communicates without 2004, p. 129-30) words or familiar backgrounds. Mrinalini Sarabhai first acquired her My belief became a reality on fame as a celebrated dancer when she caught this tour and gave me the attention of the media after her brilliant courage to work towards a performance in front of thousands of greater artistic understanding international audiences in the theatre called between the western and the Palais de Chaillot in Paris popularly eastern worlds. (Mrinalini, called ‘the Mecca of the Arts’. Mrinalini 2004, p. 131)

Dancing Toes: Expressing Self in Mrinalini Sarabhai’s The Voice of the Heart Page 1006

International Journal of Research (IJR) Vol-1, Issue-5, June 2014 ISSN 2348-6848

Mrinalini claims that it was the result dancer, and dance was my life” (Mrinalini, of years of hard training. The seed of a bright 2004, p. 73). dancing career was laid in her from the very She was close to her father whose beginning of her childhood. It was her father sudden death left her in a state of shock and who encouraged her to cultivate her art freely. she bewailed the loss of inspiration. It created She delves deep into her past and recollects, a void in her heart. Mrinalini (2004) fondly “MY FATHER SUBBARAMA remembers him saying, “My father was my SWAMINADHAN WAS THE PIVOT OF entire life” (p. 30). Talking about her loss, she MY EXISTENCE. . . . He is as real to me writes: today as then − his smile, his kind, twinkling Only someone who has been eyes, and the proud way he steadfastly through such an experience, claimed − ‘This child will be somebody when who has she grows up. . .’” (Mrinalini, 2004, p. 15) lost a parent in their childhood, (capitalization in the original text). Her father can understand the trauma it was a genius and his prediction came to be produces. true. His encouragement and support made I had no one to turn to except her excel as a genuine traditional dancer of my Ayah who understood my Bharatanatyam . As a child, Mrinalini was sorrow to some extent . . . I deeply attached to her father, who she says, learnt that life does not bring “always called me ‘child’ and that to me is happiness alone; that sorrow is now one of the most evocative terms of a part and parcel of living and endearment in the English language. The only that loneliness is something time he was displeased with me was when I that has to be accepted. would not practice the piano. Somehow I did (Mrinalini, 2004, p. 31) not like the instrument. Since I loved She honestly affirms that her mother who had movement, sitting still was torture” by then, also established herself as a (Mrinalini, 2004, p. 28-29). She was deeply renowned parliamentarian, had no time for in love with motion and dynamism. She her children. Mrinalini grew as a lonely child describes her very first performance on stage deprived of parental affection. She became as a child at the Museum Theatre in Chennai. timid and shy and feared loving anyone, She recited the nursery rhyme, ‘To ride a cock because of “the fear, that if I loved someone, horse’ and simultaneously moved around the he would disappear and leave me all alone, stage on a wooden horse. Suddenly the head was deep-rooted in me. I had to learn to rely of the horse broke off and it fell on the stage on myself. Years later I found myself dealing but she hardly cared for it and she went on with the same scars when Vikram died and I racing with it round and round as she had felt my world come apart” (Mrinalini, 2004, never learnt to stop. Mrinalini (2004) writes p. 31). It was hard for her to accept her about this incident: “Perhaps the seeds of father’s absence in her life and missed him professionalism were sown on that day!” (p. desperately, she heard his words, “‘work, 41). Later, at the age of eight, she performed work, child’” (Mrinalini, 2004, p. 31). as a serious professional actor in the role of a Mrinalini (2004) writes: “. . . I felt miserable boy in a play called ‘The Parrot’ at the not knowing what to do with myself. A Museum Theatre in Chennai at the request of tremendous restlessness seized me. At night, her ‘Carb Uncle’, Harindranath. under the mosquito net, I tossed and turned Overwhelmed by her passion for dance, she feeling alien and uprooted. The word writes, “For me, too, the stage was magic! . . . ‘college’ came up. Mummy wanted me to go and I knew more than ever that I was a to Oxford. But for me, all education had only one title and that was dance” (p. 49).

Dancing Toes: Expressing Self in Mrinalini Sarabhai’s The Voice of the Heart Page 1007

International Journal of Research (IJR) Vol-1, Issue-5, June 2014 ISSN 2348-6848

She belonged to a family where all Gurudev once gave her held high positions, but except her, nobody a lead role in his drama Chandalika and asked else had any inclination towards dance. Her her to choreograph her part on her own; father, Dr. Swaminadhan was a distinguished Mrinalini introduced Bharatanatyam in barrister at the and Tagore’s dance dramas for the first time principal of the Madras Law College, her gaining much applause and appreciation from mother Ammu Swaminadhan was a great him. She was overjoyed with this appreciation freedom fighter and parliamentarian, her elder of her art: “It was as though something deep sister Dr. Lakshmi Sehgal was the within me was liberated and given the commander-in-chief of Netaji Subhas authority to be my real self! It was a moment Chandra Bose’s , her of such intense joy that the radiance, not of elder brother, Govind Swaminadhan, served his words, but of his acceptance of my as the Attorney General for the State of individuality, still remains within my heart” Madras () with notable eminence (Mrinalini, 2004, p. 55). and was also a famous barrister of Madras. She took training in Bharatanatyam in Mrinalini (2004) writes: the Pandanallur tradition under Meenakshi . . . I had wanted to dance ever Sundaram Pillai and in Kathakali under the since I was a child. There was legendary teacher, Kunju Kurup. She learnt absolutely no tradition of Mohiniattam from Kalyanikutty Amma, the dance or music in our family. . living legend of this ancient tradition. She . . I had no one to guide me in learnt under such gurus like Muthukumaran my career. But I knew that I Thatha, Chokalingam Pillai and C. R. was a dancer. . . . My mother Acharyalu who left a deep influence on her could not understand my fierce life. She recalls her rigorous training at determination and like the rest Kalakshetra in 1937 under Muthukumara of the family, took it as a Pillai who initiated her into Bharatanatyam. passing phase! (p. 49) Mrinalini explains how her teacher was strict Mrinalini’s self-determination and will-power with his lessons and how she followed him made her pursue her passion for dance and with full dedication and determination. Pillai she says, “Nothing could stop me from realised her hard work and perseverance. He dancing” (Mrinalini, 2004, p. 46). In her could foresee her talent as Mrinalini (2004) childhood, she was sent to Switzerland and says: “We developed a deep attachment for there she picked up her first lessons in each other, the guru and the student. He told Dalcroz , a Western method of dance. She me that he felt that I had a rare gift within me even enrolled in the American Academy of and that he would teach me everything he Dramatic Arts in the United States for a short knew. This was beginning of my real training. time. Only I knew, and kept it secret” (p. 50). As an It was at Shantiniketan, Mrinalini obedient student, Mrinalini always followed bloomed as a dancer and there she realized her guru’s instructions and trained herself in her dream. She writes that “Shantiniketan was Indian classical dance through hours of the heart and soul of India’s tradition and practice. She used to practise her lessons for progress. For me, at that time, it was the place nearly ten hours a day. She has given a where I found my own real self and true detailed description of how she used to friends” (Mrinalini, 2004, p. 61). Talking of cultivate her art of dancing and has described Rabindranath Tagore, Mrinalini (2004) her disciplined grooming under her gurus: writes, “He was my guru in every sense of the Lessons always began with word and his dance dramas have been the exacting work. There were no inspiration for much of my work” (p. 75). preliminaries. It was training

Dancing Toes: Expressing Self in Mrinalini Sarabhai’s The Voice of the Heart Page 1008

International Journal of Research (IJR) Vol-1, Issue-5, June 2014 ISSN 2348-6848

of the severest kind. It did not and awards mattered more than the perfection matter whether my limbs were as an artist. Mrinalini left him to carve her delicate, or that I had been a own path and grew as a classical as well as sickly child. I had to go creative artist. Mrinalini (2004) writes: through the dance pieces for . . . I began to wonder, when three to four hours, the practice did I grow up? Was it after my time increasing every day. . . . father’s death? Is there a Sometimes, if I did something defining moment of maturity? wrong, or was in any way Yes, there is. The young heedless, he would say, ‘I’ll tearful child, unconsciously stop the lesson’. This was the realized the new role that had biggest threat of all, for to be played in life, to be a dancing meant everything to witness of oneself and yet to me and it was the only be immersed deeply in the discipline I loved. And he process of living fully. (p. 31) knew well how to use that In common perception, learning music threat! (Mrinalini, 2004, p. 81) and dance is like following a hobby. A full But she would lovingly accept his career on dance was unacceptable in those words and followed him by heart and soul, no days when Mrinalini groomed herself up as a matter whether she could hardly walk after dancer. Her family also thought that she her dance classes. Though she got married would give up dance after marriage. Mrinalini and delivered a child, she persisted in her (2004) writes, “On the one hand, because I practice. Her consistency, integrity and came from what was called a ‘respectable and commitment towards her art were appreciated well-known family’, the Swaminadhans, by her guru: people would not take my work seriously. Thatha would just drop They thought that the minute I got married, everything and everyone else like other society girls, I would forget all and be with me to teach me. about dance” (p. 82). She cites many critics of He always accepted me as one art like G. Venkatachalam who discouraged of his own. He said to me that her. She continued her unconventional career if anyone could preserve even after her marriage. It became a boon in Bharatanatyam, I could, and I disguise for her, as Mrinalini (2004) writes, promised to do my very best “Many years later . . . I realized that I owed always. He often said to the people like him a debt of gratitude for they ‘vidwans’ who came to see me perhaps pushed me to being more and more practice, ‘Here is somebody determined to reach the heights of excellence” with intelligence and (p. 83). The more they criticised her, the more understanding along with she persisted: “I was delighted by what the dedication, who can really take critics said about my acting. . . . How I loved my kind of dancing being on stage! I think that it was my stage everywhere’. (Mrinalini, 2004, personality that gave me the courage to face p. 85) my normal life” (Mrinalini, 2004, p. 42-43). In Bangalore, Mrinalini gave performances Her skill in dance helped her stand out an with the renowned dancer Ramgopal. But accomplished woman and in some ways, after a certain period of time she realised that made up for her lack of beauty: Ramgopal never understood the depth of her I was dark complexioned and ‘innermost vision’ in her dance. To him, skinny − both terrible social continuous appreciation of audience, honours handicaps in my time. In India

Dancing Toes: Expressing Self in Mrinalini Sarabhai’s The Voice of the Heart Page 1009

International Journal of Research (IJR) Vol-1, Issue-5, June 2014 ISSN 2348-6848

you have to be round, fair and undermining her talent. One does not become plump to be called beautiful. a great artist by being born in a great family. My mother always emphasized One had to earn one’s fame through the fact that I was not worth perseverance and hard way of living. much. I don’t think I have ever Mrinalini writes in her autobiography got over that. Only my art gave that she could get success because of me the courage to live, and Vikram’s support. He accompanied her for through the years, my most of her performances, whether in India or marvelous friends and my abroad; many a time, he would stay and audiences have helped me manage the household and look after their build up my self-esteem. children when Mrinalini went abroad with her (Mrinalini, 2004, p. 35) troupe. It was mutual as she also helped him Mrinalini achieved public acclamation attain eminence as a scientist. Their love and only after her marriage to Vikram Sarabhai. respect for each other counters the notion that Vikram supported her whole heartedly. He the world of science and the world of arts himself was a renowned scientist and founder always stand apart. Mrinalini (2004) writes, of Indian Space Programme and nuclear “A scientist speaks about the spaces beyond research. He realised the potential of his wife our planet and its mysteries. A dancer and helped her pursue her passion. She searches spaces within for meaning. Vikram remembers that when she just began to get as a scientist, and I as a dancer, shared a fame, many marriage proposals poured in. togetherness that was hard to define” (p. 80). Mrinalini fell in love with Vikram Sarabhai Marriage alone, however, did not and was caught in a dilemma about her bring fulfillment as she had to face several marriage to him. She knew that marriage restrictions because of belonging to a reputed might create hurdles. She was apprehensive family. Her autobiography depicts the journey about her future: “. . . marriage and going of a girl born and brought up in a away to a strange place frightened me. I was tharavad to become a daughter-in-law of a nervous and hesitant because of my dancing” reputed Gujarati family. To adjust in an inter- (Mrinalini, 2004, p. 89). caste and inter-culture marriage is always Vikram was different from other men. difficult. She felt very lonely and alienated as It was a union of souls where in one enhanced the whole family talked in their mother the other’s talent. She loved him because he tongue, Gujarati that she could not understood her commitment to dance as comprehend. Nobody had any time for her. Mrinalini (2004) reflects: “It was some deep Lack of love and affection accompanied by yearning within me that found a perfect negligence of her mother-in-law upset her. answer in him” (p. 79). Vikram belonged to a She felt as if she was an outsider: reputed family. He had studied abroad but People do not realize the was deeply rooted in his culture. It was due to trauma a girl goes through his support, she continued her career as a when she marries into an alien dancer. But the family reputation came in her background. Perhaps that is way. People could not understand that dance why marriages in India are still was not merely a career but her very being arranged by the families, was shaped by dance: “. . . when I used to say whenever possible. . . . Here I that ‘Being is what my dancing is’, they felt starved but was too shy to hardly understood” (Mrinalini, 2004, p. 83). ask for things that I liked. The When someone commented after her show: family were all so preoccupied “Well, she can dance, after all she is a with their own work that they Sarabhai!” (Mrinalini, 2004, p. 123), he was could not be bothered with a

Dancing Toes: Expressing Self in Mrinalini Sarabhai’s The Voice of the Heart Page 1010

International Journal of Research (IJR) Vol-1, Issue-5, June 2014 ISSN 2348-6848

new person. It was as though I Apart from physical pain, she suffered did not exist except when we from acute mental agony as she thought that met at lunch or dinner time. It she would no longer be able to dance and her was all so overwhelming. inner strength and confidence wore off. Small happenings, but they left Mrinalini (2004) writes, “I was sure I would deep scars! (Mrinalini, 2004, never dance again, having been told that part p. 98) of my sight would never come back. Facing In her autobiography, Mrinalini the truth was a dreadful experience . . . and I describes the turmoil, the country was became depressed and overcome by a sense of undergoing during freedom struggle when she isolation from the world” (p. 102). Mrinalini grew up. Though she herself did not actively lost faith in herself. This was the most take part in the movements but her own traumatic period of her life as her very family members as well as her in-laws existence had no meaning without dance. She actively participated in it. However, she faced cried night after night sitting on the floor of the worst trauma of her life during one such her bathroom hiding from everybody, hiding turmoil. A shell shot from the gun of a from Vikram. This mental agony made policeman exploded in her face, her eyelid Mrinalini grow as an artist as art and artist was ripped open and her entire face was badly mature with pain. Even when she recovered damaged. Doctor insisted on removing one of she lost confidence that she could face the her eyes as it was badly infected but her audience. With time, she regained her father-in-law objected to the decision saying confidence. She expressed her suffering that it would ruin her career as a dancer. through her art. Mrinalini (2004) recalls: Mrinalini (2004) writes: Even when I started to dance Then began my long ordeal to again I would be overwhelmed recovery. For many days I lay with dread and would almost dazed, not knowing if I would have to be pushed on to the ever see or dance again. I was stage. Once I was under the arc not allowed to cry any more. I lights I would forget my fears, felt terrified in the complete but for hours afterwards my darkness. I would have given mind and body would tremble. up but for my belief in God, . . . It took years of hard prayer and Vikram. ‘I have discipline and treatment and been born to dance,’ I consoled Vikram’s wonderful myself. ‘This is a passing understanding and assurances phase, a deep suffering in before I could face an audience order to test me’. . . . with confidence. (p. 102) The nights were difficult, Mrinalini later decided to teach Indian the feeling of isolation more classical dance to the people of . She profound even though I tried to worked day and night to make her dream pray. There was no way that come true. In 1948, she founded a dance the mind with its fears could academy, called Darpana , in for be silenced. Every minute training in dance, drama, music and puppetry. became more precious, every She introduced Bharatanatyam and Kathakali loved one more dear. Life to invigorate the culture of Gujarat which was becomes valuable only after more famous for folk tradition. Initially, such harrowing experiences. It people would not appreciate lyrics in Carnatic is a process of growing up music and south Indian classical dance. In a inwardly. (p. 99-100) conservative society, people were reluctant to

Dancing Toes: Expressing Self in Mrinalini Sarabhai’s The Voice of the Heart Page 1011

International Journal of Research (IJR) Vol-1, Issue-5, June 2014 ISSN 2348-6848

send their daughters and they were prejudiced seldom found as she proudly speaks of her against her too: disciples, “My women friends had in the past PEOPLE IN AHMEDABAD often tried to persuade me to buy expensive TOOK A LONG TIME TO jewellery but I would boast, ‘My diamonds UNDERSTAND THE and emeralds are my dancers in Darpana’” tremendous physical work (Mrinalini, 2004, p. 266-67). Mrinalini is still required to be a dancer. Many active even at the age of 93. She loves to remarked that being married to teach her disciples that “Each mudra has to be a ‘Sarabhai’ I should not understood in its deeper context” (Mrinalini, dance. Someone wrote to Papa 2004, p. 12). She has toured all over the world commiserating with him that with her troupe of dancers and has bagged his son had married a dancing acclaim for her creativity. Her autobiography girl! . . . The long hours of is full of detailed description of her hard work that I put in, the international tours to Indonesia, Egypt, efforts to keep up with my France, Africa, China, Switzerland, U.S.A. career and to run a home, were and to other countries. At that time, the of course completely ignored. celebrated classical dancers like , (Mrinalini, 2004, p. 123) Uday Shanker and his wife (capitalization in the original had won international acclaim. It was difficult text) for Mrinalini to succeed beyond the Indian With passage of time, Darpana shores. Her dedication, devotion and became popular in Gujarat as well as got perseverance made her get recognition as one recognition at national level. Mrinalini of the distinguished dancer of her time. She successfully countered prejudice and bias. became an internationally renowned artist but Students from various parts of Gujarat and she never thought of settling in abroad. Her other parts of the country enrolled in Darpana love for her dance is matched with her love and Mrinalini (2004) fondly remembers her for her country: “But I wanted to live in India students in her autobiography: “The children and to dance. I could never be away from my who came to me were like unopened buds. roots. . .” (Mrinalini, 2004, p. 74). My desire was to make them blossom gently After achieving national and into flowers that mirrored their artistic and international fame, Mrinalini turned towards ancient heritage. ‘Darpana’ means ‘Mirror’ reformation of society through dance. She and the universe I feel is reflected within each believed that social evils can be eradicated one of us” (p. 157). Mrinalini’s dream became using the art of dance. She felt a responsibility true and she formed a group that later towards society especially to work for the performed across the world showing rich upliftment of the women who are the cultural traditions of India. Darpana also marginalized in our society. Mrinalini has revived the traditional Gujarati theatre and grown up in matriarchal society in Kerala. It puppetry and saved it from extinction. Apart was only in Ahmedabad she observed very from imparting training and guidance to closely how women are subjugated under thousands of students, Mrinalini worked patriarchal system of our society. She felt the continuously for five decades to improvise need to bring about a public awareness about her art and won number of awards and gender discrimination and domestic violence honours. that women of every class daily endure. Both Mrinalini adoringly calls her students Mrinalini and her daughter, Mallika, through at Darpana as her dancer-daughters and they their creative dance sought justice and call her ‘Amma’. This mother-daughter freedom from subjugation and violence for relationship between teacher and students is women. For decades, both of them singly or

Dancing Toes: Expressing Self in Mrinalini Sarabhai’s The Voice of the Heart Page 1012

International Journal of Research (IJR) Vol-1, Issue-5, June 2014 ISSN 2348-6848

jointly performed to spread this social (Mrinalini, 2004, p. 229). Gradually, social message through their dance: problems that obsessed her took form in her But I felt the need to express dance. Students in Darpana still use dance as my own thoughts in dance a powerful medium for the rehabilitation of dramas, not only for a freedom victims suffering due to various forms of of form but also to make the violence in our society. performances more varied and Another of her creation, Manushya creative. I felt that dance had a (1949), is a story of man narrated by using social role to play and could only the technique of Kathakali but not its speak powerfully through inept costumes. This bold experiment made traditional techniques. . . . her reach the heights of her innovative Dance is an inward journey, a endeavours and led her to compose many deep personal equation which dance dramas concerned with social issues unfolds before the audience. It and she begins “each performance with a is the self, speaking. small talk on the reason why I felt compelled (Mrinalini, 2004, p. 113) to take up that particular issue” (Mrinalini, Increasing number of dowry deaths of 2004, p. 230). Mrinalini (2004) explains the the unfortunate, poor and hapless brides about process of her creation in her autobiography: whom she read every day in the local Creativity is very difficult to newspapers left her in state of shock. Newly describe, because though it married girl were forced to commit suicide or springs from inspiration it were burnt. She pondered how can a man cannot be achieved without the destroy another man’s life just only for hard training that leads to dowry? Can the man-made custom of giving technical articulation. It is an and accepting dowry be completely erased inner knowledge of which from the Indian scenario? These questions movement is exactly right in a disturbed her repeatedly and she composed certain situation. . . . In Memory , a dance drama based on this social classical dance it was an malady. Mrinalini (2004) writes in her individual’s effort and autobiography, “It was the first time that imagination that made new Bharatanatyam spoke of a social problem. . . . designs and new patterns in the Editorials were written by leading newspapers classical repertoire. (p. 232) on how for the first time dance spoke of In her every creative dance contemporary problems. My creative urge had performance, the basic technique remained at last begun to find fulfillment and direction same, but her ‘interpretation’ underwent (p. 227-28). change every time. As a celebrated classical With only three women characters and dancer, she has always adhered to form of incorporating South Indian classical songs as classical art – the basic foundation and its background music, Memory reflected the grammar of any form of dance. Mrinalini four parts of a woman’s life, beginning with (2004) writes, “In the matter of technique, I the vibrant life of a young innocent girl full of am a purist, and I believe that a firm gaiety, attaining age she falls in love with a grounding in form is absolutely essential and young lover, then her marriage that ultimately that is why, as a performer and teacher, I am crushes her inner self enduring tortures of extremely strict. The classical technique greedy in-laws asking for dowry and then cannot be changed at will or to suit one’s ending her life by committing suicide. With convenience” (p. 113). While performing, she it, Mrinalini achieved fame and “had touched pours out her inner emotions and views chords in the hearts of women everywhere” through her own compositions and

Dancing Toes: Expressing Self in Mrinalini Sarabhai’s The Voice of the Heart Page 1013

International Journal of Research (IJR) Vol-1, Issue-5, June 2014 ISSN 2348-6848

choreography without deviating herself from words and shapes are born the mainstream classical dance and she is together within my mind. . . . “always accused of being a perfectionist, as In dance, the body speaks though it is a crime against society!” with the power of the mind (Mrinalini, 2004, p. 102). In an interview with behind it. In our country, Jasmine Shah Varma (2004), Mrinalini said, words and music are important “New dance forms evolve . . . But I would in the great oral tradition, but prefer that while you evolve a new form, there often silence seems more be some classical tradition behind it. A tree meaningful to me than the may grow in many directions, but it must totality of universal sound. (p. grow with roots. This is what I think I have 11) done”. Mrinalini’s creativity attained its She introduces the rituals of Kerala fulfillment after Darpana achieved and Tamil Nadu in her dance that is deeply international fame. She not only achieved embedded in her early memories. While success as a famous dancer but also composing such pieces, these rituals often succeeded in training her own daughter, psychologically return to her mind like the Mallika and her dancer-daughters at Darpana . repressed desires and ultimately they take In an interview with Anjana Rajan (n.d.), shape of dance. Once while performing the Mallika Sarabhai replied that Darpana is Meghadoota of Kalidasa, she bejeweled her described today as a “crucible for the arts creation with the ‘ambience of Kerala’. Using across the world”. Rajan (n.d.) writes, “Thus classical dance forms − Kathakali, Mohini- Mallika decided that for Darpana − which Attam and even the traditional folk dance, she means mirror, in the sense that art is a mirror also brought with it the basic features of the of society − to remain true to its name, it women of Kerala − how they braid their hair would have to change so that it reflected the and decorate it with flowers, how they pray to present reality”. Darpana remained God and how they reconstruct their selves committed to its basic art forms – the Indian through their childhood memories. It was classical dances, but it has undergone a huge highly appreciated. Mrinalini (2004) writes metamorphosis and changed in keeping with that “Only an artist understands the joy when the need of the time, using art in the service of movements suddenly become alive and the society as Mrinalini (2004) writes: dramatic, when symbolic designs are In spite of many hard knocks meaningful. The exploration is an obsession, over the years, I still have faith the climax the fulfillment, the final ecstasy. in the innate goodness of All the rest is anxiety and physical human beings. There have exhaustion” (p. 235). Describing her been many instances of loving creativity, Mrinalini (2004) says that: relationships with my students Behind each movement was an and teachers, who left for inner energy, the result of personal reasons of their own. . years of training. It took . . hundreds of performances and I feel that the dream relentless work to establish a Vikram and I shared of having reputation of classicism, only a real Academy for Gujarat has then did I present my own come true. After all, to make a perspectives. Sometimes in a ‘state’ dance was not a small composition there is no need task! (p. 303) for words for they have Motherhood brought maturity to different meanings. But often Mrinalini’s private self. She continued her

Dancing Toes: Expressing Self in Mrinalini Sarabhai’s The Voice of the Heart Page 1014

International Journal of Research (IJR) Vol-1, Issue-5, June 2014 ISSN 2348-6848

career as a dancer on one hand and on the The feeling of separation, estrangement, lack other she sincerely discharged her duties and of love and affection and solitariness that responsibilities of a mother. When she was Mrinalini herself suffered in her life after her the mother of a single child, she used to carry father’s death and as a daughter-in-law after her baby wherever she went on tour for her her marriage in the made her performances. Later, when Mallika was born, take special care of her children so that they she left both her children to the care of her may never feel lonely without her. She has husband. In one of her early international maintained and balanced her family life and performance in Europe, her son, Kartikeya, professional life well. Mrinalini (2004) got more media coverage than what she did! accepts that, “It was always very difficult to Mrinalini (2004) quotes one of the reporters leave the children when I went on tour” (p. of the Daily Mail in this context, “‘the 146). However, Vikram remained with the thought struck me that few European children at home till her return because ballerinas would find it convenient to bear a Mrinalini (2004) writes, “for both Vikram and child and take him on tour’. I was considered me, in spite of our busy careers, the children out of the ordinary for not only having a were first priority” (p. 159). In this context, child, but also being proud to show the world she quotes an article in her autobiography that I was a mother” (p. 131). Vikram, in most Mallika wrote many years later about her own cases, tried to accompany her for her feelings when Mrinalini went to tours in performances abroad. Once he took their son abroad: to meet Mrinalini who was busy keeping her . . . I used to howl every time overseas concerts and had not seen her baby Amma went away. Papa was for long. Immediately after seeing his mother, not very busy touring till he “our little boy” she writes, “. . . hugged and became the Chairman of the hugged me. All my tiredness vanished. Is Atomic Energy Commission. there any greater joy than a child’s arms Amma often had to go on around his mother’s neck?” (Mrinalini, 2004, tours, but between them they p. 143). Mrinalini (2004) cherishes joys of had an understanding, a being a mother: commitment to parenting − at When Mallika was born, she least one of them would be brought great joy into our with us at home in Ahmedabad lives. Children are to me the at any given time, till we were greatest fulfillment of married twelve years old. This meant life. . . . Vikram and I both that Papa was with us alone loved our children and treated frequently, and for lengthy them with respect. Love does periods of time, adjusting his not mean spoiling − it means work schedules to suit cherishing. We just made our Amma’s dance ones. children feel that we were (Mrinalini, 2004, p. 157-58) always there for them and that Sacrificing at some level of her career they were very important to us. is a part of life of every public woman and There is a difference between Mrinalini states that sometimes she too has freedom and licence. (p. 157) sacrificed her career for her family. Vikram, With mutual understanding, Mrinalini already overworked with the Indian Space and Vikram took care of both − career and Programme, became more engrossed with the parental duties. They always stood by each department of Atomic Energy after Homi other whenever required. Even the children Bhabha’s death. At that time, she cancelled were never made to feel lonely and isolated. many of her dance tours and she never regrets

Dancing Toes: Expressing Self in Mrinalini Sarabhai’s The Voice of the Heart Page 1015

International Journal of Research (IJR) Vol-1, Issue-5, June 2014 ISSN 2348-6848

it. She always tried to be with her husband and her mother, and once, Mrinalini’s Vikram or with her children whenever they American dancer friend, Jean Erdman, wrote needed her. She has successfully carried out to her, “You’d have been truly proud of her duties as a wife and mother balancing Mallika. She was spectacular, and one could them with her career as a dancer. Mrinalini see you through her” (Mrinalini, 2004, p. (2004) feels proud when she writes of her act 265). When asked by Sonoo Singh (1998) in of balance, “Working so hard, dancing, an interview about how she feels being a teaching and entertaining, looking after the daughter of the celebrity Mrinalani Sarabhai, children − it was more than a full life” (p. Mallika replied “ Amma has been a classical 221). dancer since 1949. . . . People do come up to Mrinalini takes pride in her daughter, me and compare. “Your mother is a better Mallika who has become a beautiful classical dancer than you”, is what some say. . . . dancer, theatre personality, choreographer, Today Amma is equally proud of me”. stage and film actress, scriptwriter and social Mrinalini (2004) writes about her daughter: activist. Defining an all-round personality, . . . Mallika became a Mrinalini (2004) writes, “Strangely enough, professional in her own right, though Mallika looks more like Vikram in and I realized that I had real life, on stage, she is strikingly like me” unconsciously begun a (p. 265). Bringing pride to her celebrity parampara of dance. Her mother, Mallika Sarabhai started off as a personality is in a way so Bharatnatyam and Kuchipudi dancer. She has different from mine and yet, as whole-heartedly learnt under her mother’s a friend pointed out, ‘You both guidance but has established her own name seem to have the same soul’. changing according to the requirements of the Mallika gave me the impetus time and demands and tastes of the modern to create dance dramas in audiences. Mrinalini (2004) writes, “Mallika, which both of us danced who has found her own vision, has given me together. (p. 265) tremendous joy, for even as a student she At the end of Mrinalini’s 45 years understood my language” (p. 232). Mallika long career, Mallika as a dutiful daughter paid has always been unconventional, outspoken, her a grand tribute. Knowing well her honest, and bold. Whenever she has mother’s chronic claustrophobia, and willing performed, she has received tremendous to fulfill her wish, Mallika constructed an acclamation. Her habit of looking at things open air theatre in Ahmedabad, called from a different point of view and her ‘Natarani’, meaning ‘Goddess of Dance’. In outlandish attitude has often created an interview with Jasmine Shah Varma controversy as Mrinalini (2004) writes, “This (2004), Mrinalini said, “Mallika designed non-conventional, honest attitude all through Natarani to reflect my personality with its vast her career has caused her a great deal of pain open spaces, peepul tree and the rivers but she has always insisted on being truthful beyond”. In the same interview, Mallika said to her inner self” (p. 263-64). Talking to to Jasmine (2004), “My mother unknowingly Sonoo Singh (1998) in an exclusive started a legacy. . . . There is a little of the interview, Mallika said, “My role model has guru-shishya aspect in our relationship, but been my mother, Amma , throughout. She has we are partners and co-creators too. We stood by my side like a rock, telling me that respect each other’s creativity though we may her love for me is not dependent on what I do not agree on the form”. but for what I am”. The exploration of her ‘self’ in Whenever Mallika appeared on stage, Mrinalini’s autobiography is a testimony to people tried to find out similarity between her the fact that she has shown the modern Indian

Dancing Toes: Expressing Self in Mrinalini Sarabhai’s The Voice of the Heart Page 1016

International Journal of Research (IJR) Vol-1, Issue-5, June 2014 ISSN 2348-6848

women how to rise and reach their goal in Goddess of dance, Mrinalini (2004) answers life, how to fulfill their long cherished dream, them in the concluding part of her how to carve a name in the public world, and autobiography: simultaneously run a home, rear and gear up How can I tell them that I am the career of the children. Her autobiography only I when I dance. I am only is a valuable source of inspiration for those that ‘I AM’ when I dance. I am women who cherish a dream of setting up only Eternity when I dance. their career in the field of dance. Mrinalini Silence is my response, has survived her art through her daughter, movement my answer. Mallika and even her granddaughter, Anahita What am I but an abstract and grandson, Revanta. She will also live form in time, born into a land through thousands of her students whom she of deepest symbolism, has trained herself for half a century. In these containing within my work the long years of her devotion to dance, Mrinalini past, the present and the future has proved her versatility by engaging in such of a conscious force beyond activities like authoring books and novels, time, beyond space, the echoes writing poems, cultivating children’s of which may be heard and literature. She was the chairperson of the seen in later vision. . . . Gujarat State Handicrafts and Handloom Can anyone ever Development Corporation Ltd. She was one understand these words? There of the trustees of the Sarvodaya International is no separateness in dance and Trust, and was also the chairperson of the my entire being. Nehru Foundation for Development. The last It is the radiance of my few lines of her autobiography are the most spirit that makes for the self-revelatory, she writes when people ask movements of my limbs. (p. her why she goes on straining herself though 304-05) (capitalization in the she has achieved her fame and is called the original text)

References: Banerjee, Arnab. (2007, June 4). Mrinalini Sarabhai. Outlook . Retrieved from http://www.outloo kindia.com/article.aspx?234801. Gilead, Sarah. (1988). Emigrant Selves, Narrative Strategies in Three Women’s Autobiographies. Criticism , 30 (1), 43–62. Retrieved from JSTOR , http://www.jstor.org/stable/23113333. Marcus, Jane. (1988). Invincible Mediocrity: The Private Selves of Public Women. In Shari Benstock (Ed .) The Private Self: Theory and Practice of Women’s Autobiographical Writings (pp. 114-146). Chapel Hill, NC: University of North Carolina Press. Rajan, Anjana. (n.d.). Interview: Mallika Sarabhai. Art India . Retrieved from http://www.artindia.net/ mallika.html. Sarabhai, Mrinalini. (2004). The Voice of the Heart : An Autobiography . New Delhi, India: HarperCollins Publishers India. Shah Varma, Jasmine. (2004, October 17). Her majesty. Harmony Magazine . Retrieved from http:// www.harmonyindia.org/hportal/VirtualPageView.jsp?page_id=1005. Singh, Sonoo. (1998, September 13). I see myself as a communicator. The Tribune . Retrieved from http://www.tribuneindia.com/1998/98sep13/sunday/view.htm. Spacks, Patricia Meyer . (1980). Selves in Hiding. In Estelle Jelenik (Ed.) Women’s Autobiography: Essays in Criticism (pp. 112-132). Bloomington, IN: Indiana University Press.

Dancing Toes: Expressing Self in Mrinalini Sarabhai’s The Voice of the Heart Page 1017