THE CORD WEEKLY

Wilfrid Laurier Volume 30, Number 12 Thursday, November 16, 1989 University

The more that things change, the more they stay the same. The Cord Weekly

2 Thursday November 16, 1989.

I I

° \ L<2 I Parkdale Plaza II CORD WEEKLY I 746-4220

Kitchener // / NOVEMBER 16,1989 607 King West A/ >J VOLUME 30, NUMBER 12 y 578-5050 \L

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF...Chris Starkey Kitchener n I

' 210 Lorraine 1/ * * * J Stover NEWS EDlTOR...Jonathan

ASSOCIATE NEWS EDlTOR...Caroline Baskerville

NEWS CONTRIBUTORS

Gail Cockburn, Jill Cleaver, Mark Hand, Sean Rasmussen, Bill Needle, J.R. Artinger, Ron Grimes, Neville Blair Norman E. Wood, Walter Kovacs, Erin Fletcher, wm mm ■ VALUABLE coupon ■ ■■ H KB mm ■ VALUABLE couponihu

* * * TWO TWO COMMENT PAGES CONTRIBUTORS I II I Sean Rasmussen, JA. Artinger, Liza Sardi, Jana Watson,

Steve Robert Cameron I ■■ Burke, SMALL MEDIUM ■ * * *

Chen FEATURES EDlTOR...Elizabeth PIZZAS PIZZAS * * * i IS

with checsc and 1 with checse and 1 ? "SCENE" EDITOR...Tony Burke topping* _ - topping* I

"SCENE" CONTRIBUTORS Steve Burke, Mark Hand, Tom Szeibel, Jonathan Stover, Donna Goudreau, ■ &A49 ■■ &019 ■ Sarah Welstead, James Nielson, Feizal Valli I II 1 w

* * * I II 1 ■ your Choice: H ■ Vour Choice: 9

" • • • • mm One of each! PanfPan!'" PliialPizza!' mm «■ • One of each! • Pan!Pan! • P!zia!Pizr«il SPORTS EDITOR...Brian Owen jw Extra available additional H toppin3S at cost ■ Extra toppings available at additionalcost Valid with at Little Caesars. Valid with ■ only coupon participating | | only coupon at participating L;"'c Caesars |

_ 'Excludes extra cheese. _ cheese _ 'Excludes extra SPORTS CONTRIBUTORS

November 30/1989 JeffDragich, Stephan Latour, Heather Purdy, Bruno Rukavina, || November 30/1989 |

Chris Dodd, Leslie Lamers, Jonathan Stover, Rob Brown

* * * II 112 1989 Little Caesar Enterprises Inc. Little Caesar Enterprises, mk PRODUCTION MANAGER...Jana Watson L ■■ ■ VALUABLE COUPON ■WMwMMM ■■ ■ VALUABLE COUPON ■ 111 PRODUCTION ASSISTANTS

Karen Burke, Andrea Nasello, Christine Yarwood Share Your

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SYSTEMS TECHNICIAN...vacant

- Canadians the life and work of other COPY EDITORS CUSO is learning sharing daily Pacific. Keri Downs, Robin Sutherland Asia, Latin America, the Caribbean, the South cultures, in Africa, MANAGER...Roxanne Chartrand CIRCULATION AND FILING their and in CUSO is skills - Canadians broadening knowledge experience

and fisheries. * * * education, health, technology/trades agriculture, forestry

PHOTO MANAGER...Liza Sardi CUSO is dedication - Canadians working with community organizations,

PHOTO TECHNICIAN...Patrick John Mitchell and nations government agencies, local self-help programs in developing GRAPHIC ARTS...Tom Sziebel to make better lives for the neediest peoples.

PHOTO CONTRIBUTORS

!earn more Canadian's Liza Sardi, Patrick Mitchell, J. Tyler Leatherland, Brian Owen, We invite you to about CUSO, largest independent show Feizal Valli, Neville Blair, Chris Gain, Elizabeth Chen international development organization. Our slide presentation will

can you the exciting work we're doing in Ghana, and you'll learn how you

* * * be part of it. ADVERTISING MANAGER...Frank Reilly Wednesday 22nd November at 7 p.m. ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVES Kitchener Public Library Rose Belvedere, Marlie Yoshiki, 85 Queen St. N., Kitchener Martin Walker, Kelly Wilkinson, Eric Gregory

CLASSIFIEDS CO-ORDINATOR...Anoushka Boteju will talk about his work in Sierra AD PRODUCTION MANAGER...Brad Jandrew Bill Berkley

AD PRODUCTION ASSISTANT...Tanya Reitzel Leone

CUSO salaries, although low by Canadian standards, will meet overseas NATIONAL ADVERTISING Campus Plus

(416)481-7283 living costs and benefits are generous and comprehensive. Contracts and 1 to the application are for 2 years and it may take up to year complete will to families but where placement process. We attempt place only PUBLICATIONS BOARD OF education and child health care facilities are adeauate.

PRESIDENT...Mark Hand

DIRECTORS unable attend but would like more information please If you are to Bill Casey, Frances McAneney, Annie Quong, Al Strathdee, send and for if to: your resume, one your partner applicable, Jonathan Stover, Neville Blair, Tony Burke

The Cord Weekly welcomes all comments, criticisms and suggestions from its readers. Letters to the Editor must be

lyped, double spaced and submitted by Tuesday at 12:00 noon for the followingpublication. All letters must bear the au-

and student be Letters must not exceed 400 [hor's full name, telephone number, but names may withheld upon request.

edited for Cord and all sub- words in length and are length only. The Weekly reserves the right to refuse any submission,

missions become the ofThe Cord Weekly. property Janey Southey Eight month, 24-issue Cord Weekly subscription rates are: $20.00 for addresses within Canada and $25.00 outside

the students subscribe the of $10.00 four month work CUSO country. Co-op may at rate per term. Shrine at Wilfrid Laurier Cord Weekly offices are located on the 2nd Floor of the Jeff Walters The Anti-Smoking Level 3, University Centre University (tel. 884-2990). The Cord Weekly is printed at Ricter Web Press in beautiful Brantford, Ontario, home of great W i

Newman. of Canadians Alexander Graham Bell and Dave University Guelph £f\ Editorial The Cord Weekly is published weekly during the fall and winter academic terms. opinions areapproved by Guelph, Ontario ------of the the Student and Student Publications. The Cord Weekly the editorial board and are independent University, Union,

Canadian Press. is comatose member of the University a NIG 2WI Student N2L 3C5. No of this be Copyright © 1989 by WLU Publications, Waterloo, Ontario, part publication may reproduced without the permission ofthe Editor-in-Chief. "!A is a coward's We much Be- £Un weapon. /{iff so zue've cause made it too easy, sparing ourselves the The NEWS trousCe...andthe -- 'Batman Jonathan MicfiaeCStover, 9{sxvs "Editor

Caroline Hasfervitte, Associate 'Editor

TV lounge smoking ends

'Smokers have no rights'

said that of students did WALTER KOVACS Cord Weekly over seventy-five per cent

not smoke He that this When classes resume in January there will be four years ago. imagined is lot When asked if no more smoking in the Student Campus Centre TV figure a higher today. any sur-

been done the Lounge. vey had prior to making original mo- tion At their meeting on Sunday, November 12, the over two weeks ago he admitted that nothing had been done. When the WLUSU Board of Directors voted in favour of ban- motion was presented

still students had ning smoking in the TV lounge. Besides the again on Sunday no been asked

residences, only certain areas of Wilf's and The what they thought of smoking in the TV Lounge. will allow of Turret still smoking on campus as Jan- WLUSU President A 1 Strathdee was in favour

uary 3,1989. of the ban. "As far as I am concerned smokers have

The motion was forth WLUSU Con- brought by no rights," said Strathdee. Chairman of the Board stitutional Operational Development (COD) com- Scott Williams passed the chair to have a say in the Maureen McGuire. mittee chair matter. He agreed with Strathdee. "Smokers don't the second time the motion had been It was pre- have a lot of rights. I chose not to smoke and they

to the board. It the first time sented was defeated do and that infringes on my rights," said Williams.

and tabled back to COD to see about enforcement Director Anastasia Hryciw worried about the of the policy and to get an idea from the students as lingering effects of smoking. She thought steps to how many people would like to see smoking be to the smoke in should taken purge that is the banned. and It that carpet furniture. was decided since it is It was decided that the same system would be the smoke coming from people's lungs that is of- used as the rest of the University. Security will fensive and dangerous to non-smokers that it is patrol regularly, and during the day the games room only important to remove this from the lounge. attendant will monitor the lounge. Another worry was that people had to walk No survey was ever conducted by WLUSU to through the lounge in order to get to the Student see what the student body thought about smoking Union Offices. Many directors said they did not as a whole. like going up to the offices because they would be There were several reasons given to support the assaulted by smoke along the way. They said that ban. There were fears that government legislation they feared that visitors might be put off by this too. would soon prohibit smoking on University proper- There were a few directors adamantly against ty. It was said that it would be good to be able to the motion. Robinson led the show that WLU is smoke-free Mary objections already a campus wondering where under-age people can go to when government officials dictate a universal ban. smoke. Since the only places left to smoke in are Many directors said that they thought that the WilPs now has draught beer, and so Dean Nichols, who enjoyed smokers will TV had turned now liquor-licensed, under-age be the beer both and the lounge into a smoking lounge. first at WilPs Turret, got to perform anoth-

forced to outside. Robinson said this was unfair go er ceremonial We Sardi While this was fine for those who smoke, it was chug. recommend the Dark Ale. (Liza and would lead to litter problems. noted, it perceived to be a nuisance to those who do photo)

hand smoke It not. "Second kills," said Director Cory was mentioned that the number of smokers He Lipovschek. supported the ban on smoking in who would be upset by this were not enough to the TV but that should the who would like the lounge, urged it not be im- overpower many policy. until plemented another area is foundjust for smok- The practice of moving the selling of cigarettes Copier near doom ing. from the games room to the bars is now being

WLUSU Executive Vice-President Jeff Walters looked at.

NORMAN E. WOOD Cord Weekly

A from the photocopier Campus Centre was less than five

meters from hurled to destruction being probable down the un- finished elevator shaft.

On November 2, Thursday, WLU Security received a call at

1 a.m. them to vandalism in alerting progress in the SUB. The

team discovered investigating four men about to throw the

photocopier down the elevator shaft.

The four from suspects, ages ranging 22 to 29, were in relation charged to the incident. Three were University of Waterloo students. It seems they had just left the Turret when they decided to abuse the photocopier.

"They unplugged it and moved it to the door (of the

There's no other elevator). assumption than that they tried to throw it down the shaft," said WLU Security Officer John Baal. The photocopier was relatively undamaged. "They kicked it

a of times," said couple Baal, "but it seems to be working all right now."

The forced suspects apparently open the door to the elevator. It had been closed with wire by the construction com-

in of the The pany charge project. copier was dragged down the in hallway front of Wilf's, past the Niobe Lounge and the Dean of Students' office, and through the doors leading into the

stairs. were about five They meters away from the open shaft when apprehended by Security.

"They were just a couple of intoxicated guys," said Baal.

"We get a few of those and shenanigans once a while. But we catch them." Baal cited always recent incidents of the sign in front of the Athletic Complex being broken and the pillar under the Security Office being "We spray painted. got the ones responsible."

The doors to the elevator will now be equipped with a lock until the project is completed. The doors to the Wilf's corridor

are locked now every night.

"They were just intoxicated," said Baal, "you wouldn't pull that of if sort stunt you were sober." The Cord Weekly

4 Thursday November 16,1989 bill needle

YOUR BIORHYTHM

by billneedle

Shit like cannibalism, incest, nose-picking, masturbation, and various outr6 sexual practices

-- why are people so damned uptight about 'em?

Take for instance. about it but one's cannibalism, Everyone's talking no doing any damned

thing about it. Well, Jonathan Swift was right. We should just eat people who serve no other

purpose.

Yeah, yeah, it isn't very polite -- but hell, we've been eating whales and dolphins for a long

time, and both those species are probably as smart or smarter than us. So quit with all this taboo

shit -- the bad all chuck population problem's over, so why not Uncle Ben and Aunt May into

the stew pot some cold winter's night?

Hell, people are chomping down on each other all the time in the middle of sex, so why not

just carry that to the logical extreme? Campbell's Cream of Caucasian Soup has an awful nice ring to it, I think.

Anyway, most people's lives could be better ended as a nice pot roast than starving to death

in some sodding gutter or desert. Also, this would get all those damned depressing starving kid

ads off TV, so that I can enjoy the bloody late night movies without some bloody E.T.- lookalikes back ad break! those ads off! staring at me during every Boy, piss me

And howzabout incest. What is all this stuff about incest anyway? Hell, the Egyptian royal

families did it for generations, and they still managed to produce Cleopatra towards the end!

And if you go for all that Biblical shit, all the bloody children of Noah committed incest just to

get the old human race pumping again! Golly -- someone sure seems to enjoy it!

So if you've been thinking unclean thoughts about brothers or sisters, don't feel so bad. Just

do it. Genetically speaking, the odds are damned good that the bloody kids won't look like the it Or least the hillbillies of Deliverance, if comes to that. at odds ain't any worse than they are that the fluff-brain in line the Turret won't the DANCE YOUR boffing next you meet at produce same thing. And at least you'll have more things to talk about with old Sis post-coitus than how good the

and Pain" is and how it makes her all red-rubber-wet and Or bloody song "Joy just go dancy! at

- I least I hope so my sister and always have great conversations. Hell, I can hardly get her to it back in! PANTS OFF shut up long enough to stick masturbation. And Why, the way everyone talks about it, you'd think your sodding hand fall off old John twiddled would if you ever pulled on your Thomas or a couple of fingers inside AT THE the old Mountain of Venus. But if that was right the whole bloody population would be nick- TURRET named 'Lefty'! What the hell is going on? Dammit, if Bill wants to gratify himself, Bill'll gratify himself proudly! And he has a sneak-

ing suspicion that the most proficient wankers out there are the ones who do most of the NOV. 18th moralizing against it! Now, I'm not preaching against a healthy sex life here (more on that later), but just reiterat-

ing the philosophy of a damned fine mythologist named Joseph Campbell, who once said to me

while we were skeet shooting on the top of Mount Rushmore "Bill, follow your bliss." And hey,

PRIZES FOR MOST if, after a long night of studying, that bliss happens to be an electric vibrator or the nearest

baseball bat discreetly wrapped in a dish towel, what the hell!

And hell, you'd think with all this AIDS stuff flying around, the government would latch OUTRAGEOUS onto the "Masturbation is Good" campaign! Couldn't you imagine it - Canadian rock stars like Luba (now there's a suggestive name! Luba! I hardly even know her!) dancing around to some

"Just - and hello Mr. catchy rock jingle like "Jerking off is jolly good" or say no say to Ms. or PANTIES Happy mano a mano"\ Imagine the possibilities! Just imagine the bloody possibilities! So loosen And if in the of the bastards hey, up. anyone gets way you having a good time, run

over and squish 'em into street pizza. But be sure to keep the bodies for the barbecue.

- for WEAR THEM AS Or hey anyone necrophilia?

YOU CHOOSE Beyond the

DAVID Beyondo

Seance." SEAN RASMUSSEN News Commentary * WILCOX - in im- $6,000 to examine "erotic themes early So the new nine per cent tax is going to be red This Attic figure pottery." plemented, eh? brings up an important ques- * - And this classic "Mail and female: — study tion Is more government better? Women in the Canadian Union of Postal Workers" The nine General Sales IS COMING new per cent tax seems cost $46,409. to give the government's opinion on this issue.

There are hundreds of other examples, but voters you Every election year Canadian vote for more. the idea from aforementioned articles. sellers can get the 29th Social programs are big and yet people NOV It that no need more Can is obvious there is for wince when they pay their taxes. they see no of What is needed is an eradication connection? government. useless spending and useless pushers. Part of With the national debt so large, many argue that paper the problem is that there is not enough awareness of there is no alternative but to raise taxes. This is a

there are spending programs. However, falsehood. It comes from the inflated, useless government TICKETS ON SALE also other considerations. bureaucrats who are leeching off real Canadian be- Canadians are scared of cutting spending workers and business men. im- cause they don't want to lose Medicare or other MON NOV 27th Here are some examples of government spend- services. That is neither neces- ing, made available by the new Access to Informa- portant government

nor but let's real. If we don't protest tion Act: sary likely, get economic free- * the taxes, we will lose our - $406,700 went to study seaweed in the Phil- spiralling dom which democracy is to allow, and lipines. supposed * which takes for granted. ■ - $13,152 went to study the "Anatomy of private enterprise

■ The Cord Weekly

news 5 Thursday November 16, 1989.

A new Wilf's

MARK HAND Cord Weekly

In a continuing effort to resurrect falling bar sales, WLUSU has

decided to spend $15,000 to renovate Wilf's.

The decision is part of the WLUSU master plan for getting bar

to revenue back up previous levels. There has been a marked decrease

in sales in the Turret and Wilfs over the last few years. Last year

Wilf's lost over $8,000.

The It is planned to make many changes in Wilf's by January.

result will be a "new" Wilf's. The proposed changes are mostly cos-

This metic. The objective is to introduce pub-type atmosphere. will

of the de- mean getting rid current "country kitchen" look, as it was

scribed by a member of the WLUSU Board of Directors during Sun-

day night's meeting.

The wallpaper will be stripped and the walls will be repainted a

wine colour. A new $6,000 grey carpet will replaced the existing

will The the stained ones. The ceiling also be repainted grey. cost of paint will be about $3,500.

The padded bench seating will be removed entirely from the up- middle third of the lower level bench will be removed per level. The WLU. Where Mitchell Remembrance Day ceremonies were held Friday at were you? (Pat photo) to allow for the construction of a set of stairs connecting the levels.

This will improve traffic flow and allow for a better view of stage

acts from the upper level. Students react to VIA cutbacks A shorter partition will replace the removed upper level bench. A proposed brass railing may top the partition. More railings are

mittee either side of the stairs and the in front of the other effects of the on VIA Rail and the North planned to on new stage, JILL CLEAVER Cord Weekly And go Main Line Route Committee. The the women's washroom and the bar. The of the is rail cutbacks — increased cost railings The crunch is on for railroad from

K-W Action Committee is cur- be short time commuter traffic on the major projected to $2,600. users, as only a

to increased air rently sending out petitions and The hanging plants will disappear. This will free over $1,600 remains until sweeping VIA Rail highways pollu- up letters with the basic of in contracted -- which into the of the tion from that added traffic are message annual expenses go cost cutbacks are implemented. With 'Let's the service incalculable. The VIA cut- save here in maintenance for the plants. major cutbacks coming for the as yet backs will affect facets of Kitchener-Waterloo.' The bar that is currently in front of the main bar will be federal railroad service in the new many stand-up But students and students are no dif- won't be the moved underneath the T.V. screen. Tables will be re-arranged in a year, the Cord asked a sample of society,

whether realize it or only ones hurt — the Via Rail cut- less geometric design. students whether the VIA cut- ferent, they

backs will cost over 2,700 Via The coffee station will be with a new coffee sta- backs would affect them, and if not. existing replaced well of in there are two local employee (as as an un- tion. The total cost the changes to be done December is about so, how. Currently

with the specified numbers of CNR em $15,000. Responses varied from one organizations dealing their More for the future. The will VIA cutback — ployees) jobs. changes are planned seat upholstery end of the spectrum to the other. question the sometime in future. to cost Kitchener-Waterloo Action Com- With CUP be changed the According WLUSU, the of They went from students express- sources $70 per chair is too expensive to afford right now. New chairs will ing extreme agitation, to some also be to around the stand bar. with complete ignorance of the purchased go up Wilf's will be increased by the Its situation surrounding the VIA Sales tax capacity slightly changes. legal maximum is 180 and its current is Rail cutbacks, announced during protest capacity persons, seating capacity known 128. It is not yet how more people the changes will the summer by federal transport many make allowances for. minister Benoit Bouchard.

According to WLUSU, Wilf's sales have increased over the Currently, over 200,000 on Parliament Hill past few months due to changes that have already been made. The addi- people use the Kitchener- tion of nachos the food and Waterloo rail terminal to previous menu of chips popcorn were every year. OTTAWA (CUP) -- Almost 1000 people gathered on Parliament Hill deemed a large factor in this. Approximately 80 per cent of October 30 to protest the federal government's proposed Goods and those As music volume has been increased to the "cof- are between the ages of 18 well, discourage Services Tax. and it's the fee crowd" who do not the alcoholic which 25. Nationally, same people buy beverages The "axe-the-tax" attracted who chanted rally angry protesters, sort of About 11 Wilfs menu items. A marketing story. per cent of represent profit-producing strong slogans and listened to an array of speakers encouraging them to form Canadian students campaign a new has also boost sales. post-secondary rid of the and then Brian and including logo helped a national coalition to get tax, Mulroney use the train, to about WLUSU hopes that the addition of beer this week will be compared Michael Wilson. draught three per cent of all Canadians, a profitable venture. The proposed nine per cent federal tax, to replace the existing to a conducted Wilf's will close this term in order according survey 13.5 manufacturer's sales in the will early for the renovations to be per cent tax new year, cover by Campus Plus. done. Construction will begin immediately following the December everything from baby clothes to coffins. A statement by Jennifer Big- 13 closing. Representatives from the Liberal and New Democratic parties gar, a third-year Honours geog- promised to fight the proposed tax. Lome Nystrom, NDP finance crit- raphy student, that "it won't af- ic, said his party is "launching a national campaign to scrap the tax." fect in me any way" was a rela- Various members of Parliament and businessmen said the GST common tively sentiment ex- and will jack up prices, inflation, interest unemployment rates. pressed by the students we talked Students will also see an overall rise in such education costs as to. However, there were also tuition, textbooks, and transportation, said Dave Pimm, a part-time those who said that the cuts - political science student, and member of the Young Liberals at Car- which will greatly affect South- leton. rail western Ontario service - He said he wonderedwhether the student aid programs will be in- would also greatly affect them. creased the to compensate for tax. V Many expressed anger at the "The government hasn't said so," he explained. "They're going to whole situation. Lynne Hill, a shut students out of school." third-year communications stu- Calling the GST "an assault on Canadians," Mac Harb, Liberal noted dent, that "They'll (the cut- MP for Ottawa Centre, encouraged Canadians across the country to backs) affect me, and I'm pissed "say yes to a good investment in the future of Canada, but no to a tax about the whole thing." that will rob Canadians of their dignity." Lynne is among a number of Reverend Dale Soble of the First Baptist Church in Ottawa said students who are unhappy about the GST is a "moral issue" as well. Soble said the tax will the "promote coming cuts, seeing them as a selfishness, alienation, human fear and hardship." great inconvenience at best. As The rally was preceded by an entourage of approximately 150 well, without the train as a mode taxis which were forbidden to drive the Centre Block RCMP of by by transportation, many will have officers. The drivers are worried that the proposed tax will increase to resort to taking the bus. That is their operating costs, drastically reducing their business. not always seen as an enjoyable "This will cause a decrease in the taxi drivers' income. The real experience - as Andrea Nasello effect of the tax will be to and those I "I'll however, put me represent on said, have to take the bus, the unemployment line," explained Mohammad Alsadi, President of and I hate taking the bus." the local union representing Ontario's taxi drivers. Therefore, the VIA cutbacks It took about 30 minutes of between leave students with negotiations officers, Alsadi, a tough deci- and the House of Commons Sergeant-at-Arms Gaston Cloutier before sion to make on how to get home if police allowed 30 cabs to drive by Centre Block. they don't own an automobile. Ron of bus Melcher, the Social Planning Council of Canada, empha- The seems to be the cheapest AI Strathdee says a few word at this Remembrance sized that the year's Day new tax would make Canadians the most taxed people available form of 11 transportation, ceremonies, held at a.m. on Friday. The event was little- in the Western and Hemisphere. the most accessible, but many attended, although lots of people were the "It's crowding Torque time for the government to realize Canadians can't students seem to find it simply far less Room chowing down while a few remembered Canada's war take it anymore. Enough is enough." enjoyable than taking a train ride. dead. (Pat Mitchell photo) The Cord Weekly

6 Thursday November 16,1989. nezvs—

Who were the primitives?

Underwear raiders ignored the potency of ritual

one tradition Editor's Note: This begins a that: moment they ( not different dish out shit, or appear very from we (Buddhists, Jews, atheists, otherwise play empty, the next moment that of other of the ritual (hopefully) regular feature by they universities) ritual Christians or none-of-the-above) clown, then you first

WLU professors about whatever erupt. illiteracy. Evaluated the stan- have to be in by sing: "Great father of glory, pure baptized shit, spill interest Among those who criticize dards of this tradition topics them. Any profes- panty raids father of light....'Tis only the some of your own blood, and be

the raids are who think are for the sors interested out there? Just some par course; they would splendor of light hideth thee." subjected to sustained symbolic

contact Jon them not morally a C, not the F in Stover at 884-2990. If only get they deserve. We're trapped into mouthing lessons humility. Pueblo he's not there, make leave sure to these vacuous masculine meta- ceremonial clowns are initiated in a note. He will back such get to you phors, failing to realize how such just a fashion, but, we im-

ASAP. have to "light" has blinded us to the dark- agine, they nothing teach we're ness masked by patrocentric us; beyond the filthy stuff of rites. And RON GRIMES Talkin pomp. "primitive" our "civ- In the ilized" Professor, Religion and Culture less inflammatory lan- ones are harmless. Besides Besides being unequivocally guage of ritual studies, Laurier being morally

rituals are "infelicitous" reprehensible, the WLU opposed to the recent panty raid rites that panty

do raid was a It or not do what they to do. botched rite. failed any other symbolic means of purport Their rhetoric masks rather than to understand ritual inversion, demeaning women, I chafe at the Tenure business of facilitates their real that dicey turning so- ritual illiteracy of the current dis- purposes. So students cial roles and cussion. And that illiteracy are following fac- statuses upside ulty examples well. They at least down. The raid didn't turn resounds on both sides of the any- know enough to call panty raids thing upside down; it just rein- argument. reprehensible but "senseless," Consider the symbolically laden "ritual." What neither nor forced the those this "not faculty already oppressive Among who support the meaning by term ra- events sprinkled throughout an administrator have them is status those who claim tional" taught quo. raids are it is a or "achieving no real end." academic year: orientation, final that are rituals. But the they lousy is "harmless tradition," "a getting- They use axe of rationality or exams, chapel services, convoca- What we need not just to then how could students know the the wine raids acquainted ritual," as if labelling bludgeon of moralistic prag- tion, and cheese parties, and squash panty with moral difference when we provide them something "tradition" makes it matism to smash a failed rite. But the like. Some of these are pap. outrage. This is only a first step. with no examples to the Their rhetoric contrary. If it is also the last "harmless." "No one takes these the weapons are not com- is pleasant, in- step, we can

student with the An of what Freud called things seriously," a said. mensurate enemy. nocuous; they are designed to interviewer asked one expect "the

does Both of mask the boredom of favourite on return of the A second Obviously, somebody sorts responses are participants my anthropologists repressed."

and to the of if the raid wasn't is that of alterna- now. Rites and traditions are like telling expressions of the Laurier diffuse passion in- campus panty step providing

tellectual She tives. And these must be in engagement into more like a "primitive" initiation. a

medium, not a decorum. said she thought not. Of course symbolic in didac- In aren't tic To take this second the efficacious ones- those not. Those "primitives" as one. step that know will have ! actually transform-power is illiterate as we are. They our moralizing to give GO HOME to STUDENT "j regularly mishandled, and the that "mere" rites, packed to the way dramatic enactment and It will values that are symbolized are not hilt with the black powder of ceremonial creativity. not

those of the blow in do to be satisfied with I CHEAP BECAUSE: participants directly symbols, can up your public of affected. Convocation and final face just when you think you've proclamations our virtues, will few examination rites are efficacious, defused them or got them under hoping they counter so

TUe pß\tx»e AT A vices. ! AJOD/ntwc | but they dragoon participants into control. student at Queen's in- very few,

either or volved in their fiasco, in which pseudo-religiosity Nor will it suffice to co-opt Means pseudo-policing. Our herd style men posted "No Dyke" to the raids by officially sponsoring **©*-»* 1% YooMGER-TUAJ* / AtA»\ I j final examination system parody the "No Means No" them; the administration has al- "I achieves exactly what it presup- campaign, moaned think a lot ready tried that. What is needed is

poses, namely, institutionalized of us are still in shock that it went serious education in symbol- Michael of Waterloo his | Gaylord sent us good reason | mistrust of both students and fac- this far. It was supposed to be a using and worthy examples of

- voucher for for home and we sent him a | | going (Cheap!) one ulty. joke." No taught him that ritual-making. Can the Com- free return If have a anywhere on our system. you a The trip | imagination, skill, and symbols are not toys for grown- mittee to Review the Events of

- send it with address and i reason to us your name, | to tradition with good sensitivity which up boys. September 27-28 or the Gender

■ number. If we it - we'll send a voucher Laurier convocations What's with phone publish you typical are wrong panty Relations Interest Group come up

■ like Michael's. Mail to: Coach Student executed are just Gray Contest, second-rate (I am raiding has little to do with with efficacious initiation- 180 Dundas Street West, Toronto, Ontario MSG IZB. trying to be generous). One has shorts, panties, ketchup-as-blood orientation rites? Moral princi-

to the and mud-as-shit. What's only contemplate horatory wrong ples, even the strongest ones, are

or innocuous with it is that men in our culture insufficient Coach prayers pronounced to counteract sym- Gray over bowed heads or have so few elders to teach them bolic assault rooted in | j graduating uncon- to consider the sexist hymn that that if you want to splash blood, scious fears.

A reclining seat. Air conditioning. A washroom. And somebody else to drive.

| Student Union Info Centre, Student Union Building I j|i | Telephone 884-2990 \

L I SAN FRANCESCO^

33 University Ave E Waterloo, Ontario

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i ■ ■ EAT-IN •DRIVE-THRU •TAKE-OUT ■ VJ TheCord Weekly ■nezvs 7 Thursday November 16, 1989.

democratic Nicaragua gears up for vote

ERIN FLETCHER their communities to vote. continues lowed to in Nicaragua, As well, donations may be budget to go towards progress the electoral is News Commentary However, pro- the rather than write local MP, or Prime made Tools for Peace, which military, to eco- your to undermined from The Nicaraguan people are cess has been Minister himself, and monies to purchase pen- nomic and social programs where Mulroney giving for their second set of the by U.S. interven- condemn U.S. gearing up beginning it is desperately needed. ask them to inter- cils, newsprint, tally machines

elections on tion. Before the 1979 popular in- for the elec- presidential February But the interference doesn't ference in the elections, and to and other necessities 1990. These elections the the U.S.-backed 25, are against crease Canadian aid to the tions. can be reached at uprising stop here. The Bush Administra- They first test of Nicaraguan dictator Somoza, Nicaragua pro- effort. tion is interfering with the Nicaraguan electoral 745-2529 for further information. in participatory democracy ten vided the U.S. with cheap labour, Nicaraguan electoral process as They are required as beef, coffee years. part land, timber, cotton, well. It has repeatedly denounced in of Nicaragua's participation and a market for U.S. con- ready the elections as a sham. The U.S. Central American Peace Ac- the sumer goods, weapons and is also financing — through a cord -- and they are certainly a advisers.' 'military number of bodies — instructing test for U.S. intervention. Since the revolution, the and promoting those candidates Front for Na- The Sandinista FSLN has worked with the who represent one opposition Liberation the tional (FSLN), people to make major Nicaraguan grouping of 14 political parties governing party of Nicaragua, is reforms in education, land distrib- which make up the far right of the with the business and the working opposition ution, health, The political spectrum. message parties and the Nicaraguan people military. But U.S. administrations being targeted at Nicaragua by to bring about these elections. have been trying to reimpose the U.S. is a simple one - A vote Some of these preparations in- their wishes through military, for the FSLN is a vote for con- clude: economic and political interven- tinued poverty, hardship, war and * - unilateral Declaring a tion. As a result, Nicaragua is isolation. Would such inter- cease in 1988. fire July now faced with $15 billion (U.S.) ference be tolerated during feder- * - the date Moving election in economic damage caused by al elections in Canada? from April 1990. American embargoes and the up On October 31, the FSLN * - unlimited Guaranteeing U.S.-backed contras. And as of ended the unilateral cease fire, access by all parties to foreign August 1989, the contras have ostensibly to guarantee the safety campaign funds (These funds been responsible for 221 deaths. of the Nicaraguan people and the must through Supreme These deaths came despite the as- go their participation in the elec- Electoral Council (CSE) with 50 surances from the U.S. that the tions. The Bush Administration per cent going to the designated $70 million of U.S. 'humanitarian and contra leaders have declared party and 50 per cent towards the and technical' aid to the contras the aborted cease fire is proof that cost of elections} used to dismantle the was being the FSLN is gearing up to cancel *

- that all Guaranteeing rebels as required by the Central the elections. political parties have equal access American Peace Accord. The Nicaraguan presidential to state radio and T.V. To reduce the massive infla- elections are a contest between *

• those members -- Permitting tion - 33,000 cent at times per the Nicaraguan people carrying of the U.S.-backed contra opposi- caused in the toll of U.S. part by out their right to select the tion forces who have disarmed interventionism, the Nicaraguan government of their choice, and and rejoined Nicaraguan society government has had to institute U.S. interests which are to vote and run for office. dramatic austerity measures. Fur- motivated mainly by money and * - the soldiers in Allowing ther problems have been caused for If the desire power. you're in- return the Nicaraguan army to to as 50 cent of the country's per terested in seeing democracy al-

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The Family Rectangle Needle lives!

JONATHAN STOVER Media Manipulation 111 would

be From the Editor's Desk probably a good course to

Just a little cleaning up to do haveat any university, I guess. here related the on topics to newspa- 2. According to reporter in

with me witnesses pers, so bear a bit. question (we have too),

1. I've now had two Political member or members of WLUSU

who Science students are also asked him not to do the story on

reporters for the Cord try to get the Wilf's renovations, ostensibly

their as news. them projects publicized because they wanted to be a See, I guess one of their classes surprise. As the Student Union involves small of students groups sits with an elevator that is almost

pretending to be lobby com- three months overdue and a Tur-

mittees who then try to get ret which is still moving haltingly

government and media to treat towards renovation, I can't help their 'real.' lobby groups as but wonder if WLUSU is getting Which, technically speaking, they itchy instead about announcing are. another big project and then find- This is all really but it's cute, ing itself unable to come through

also somewhat questionable in a on its promises... but this is all, of

to — come look! I how journalistic sense. Ah, well Mommy, taught Barfy explode! course, speculation.

3. Actually, Bill Needle isn't

satire bad or otherwise. He's dead

serious, folks. To answer another

question along the same lines -

him in I've met a dark alley, and

it isn't fun, You are hereby DECISIONS. warned. 4. Also actually, and especial-

ly for Laverne and Shirley (see

letters column), a couple of

in anonymous fish sent a letter

calling Peter Kuper's cartoon

DECISIONS. fish demeaning to everywhere.

And the fight for journalistic free-

dom goes 0n...

5. Just to spoil everyone's

fun, I hereby reveal that Mark

Hand is actually in Honours English and History, not business,

had been as supposed by a couple

of letter writers. And while he

does have intimate working

knowledge of the 'business cli-

que' (what is that? Some kind of

star chamber?), he's an Artsie

through and through. For god's

sake, the man reads comic books

and watches Star Trekl

Ah well. Same as it ever was.

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9 Thursday November 16, 1989. • news

back in time Waterloo barbershop a step

ar- dad didn't want me to no need to do so. There is no tele- Despite the Life magazine clippings, and various certificates "My NEVILLE BLAIR Cord Weekly Martz's seems in no become a barber," said Martz. in the either. His ticle, shop of qualification. Old calendars phone shop officer is talking to A police of The clientele is "Just like father, he wanted customers walk take a seat need 'saving'. hang everywhere. Most are any just in, his hair about an the man cutting bunch who will better for his kids." and wait their turn. "It worked for a loyal, cheerful devoted to horses with the excep- something in recent edition of Life article a to the But after school in dad and it's worked for me. probably keep coming tion of one which features a team leaving grade my It lists 'barber shops' magazine. White Star as as Bruce Martz decided to give the bar- should I anything?" long shot of the 1973-74 Maple Leafs 10, Why change one of "101 Things That as "I Martz is there to cut hair. — a reminder of a much Kinder ber trade a temporary try-out. Should Be Saved" during the time for the Buds. found that I loved it. And after nods with 19905. The barber an When asked how he said long six-months, even my dad smile but continues "The hours don't bother appreciative would like to continue practicing long All available counter-space is 'You're doing just fine'". trim the officer's hair without I love I to to his trade, Martz said, without me and my job. get taken hair sense of urgency. up by long-forgotten fun with customers," any great And Martz has continued to hesitation, "Ten years. That's as have my tonics with names like "Mountain I Martz noted. "That's the real do fine ever since. He has never long as figure my legs will hold Rose" and "Tob's Hairdressing Bruce Martz, owner and pro- secret to success." advertised his services and sees out." Star Barber Lustre." The aged bottles sit prietor of the White amidst cherished of Shop at King and Dupont, knows photos barber. Martz's grandchildren and of his a fair bit about being a

Mike, a golfer. Originally opened in 1925, the son, professional Martz's But not all of the barbers' shop was purchased by customers show an appreciation father, Edward, ten years later father. for such a colloquial setting. with a $500 loan from his

"These three girls, student

The is a true shop hair-stylists, came in one time," anachronism in the world of Martz recalled, "and told me I

ultra-modern hair styling outfits. should take the word 'barber' off

is of a time when window and it with It representative my replace with the the barber shop, along 'hair stylist.' A teacher of theirs office and butcher shop, was post told them that there were no more in a community gathering place barbers." Martz was chuckling

which the latest news and gossip now. "So I asked these girls to leisure. were discussed at look around the shop. 'Who do

in I asked you see sitting here?,'

The White Star has success- them....a couple of farmers, a

fully retained that small-town druggist and a businessman. hair flavour, even in the face of grow- These people don't want a

ing competition. stylist."

The shop went through some The shop itself still has the the late Sixties distinctive barber pole on its lean years during Seventies when long workaday exterior. The original and early in But the forty- Interior is perfectly intact includ- hair was vogue. nine old Martz said that by ing two brass-footed barber chairs year fa- that the time he took over from his hair in traditional barber and a white porcelain sink Waterloo barber Bruce Martz has been cutting a boom- ther in 1980, business was stands in the middle of the shop. while. To this out of The Griffith Show for quite a get story, the shop right Andy ing. He noted, however, that haircut himself. well. (Declan of the busi- in had to get a Ah, The walls are covered with handing down family fact, our intrepid reporter old black white ness almost didn't happen. and photos, press McManus photo)

Miller Frank

1989

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10 Thursday November 16, 1989.

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To be for the Dean's Honour eligible Roll, students must have achieved an overall j;

■ Grade Point of 10.00 in all courses in the of their 1 Average required particular year

■ All be fulfilled program. Departmental year requirements must within an eight- j j I month with term no failures or substitutions. | |

I j HONOURS YEAR ONE B i ECONOMICS steven mallouk |

m HONOURS BACHELOR YEAR ONE YEAR TWO YEAR THREE | j UZANNE SI OF MUSIC S EUDORA DER ANNE BINDERNAGEL j

H ARTS AND SCIENCE I

SUSAN R. BAUMAN CHRISTINE A. NOON EVA KRUZLICS MICHAEL J. ADAM TREVOR C. LUMLEY »

JENNIFER M. OTTER VALERIE fIH SUSAN C BROWNING McCONACHIE JEFFREY W. CHADWICK ROSE M. MARKS

■ JOHN C CHINNICK LISA A. PRESZCATOR PHILIP A. McFARLANE GORDON CHALK MARY L. McKENZIE

i SHI JOHN F. DAWSON MARTHA E. RAYMOND LORI J. ROBLIN COLIN J. DOAK ALISSA K. MITCHELL « ALISON READING DEBRA E. SHEEHAN NANCY :| BH MARK W. DUBEAU ANDREA DOBROSZLAV- J. NICHOL ffi ;8 ■ KIMBERLY A. GARDHOUSE JAMIE T. WILLIAMS J.K. SHOEMAKER HEATHER L. POTTER R VANHEUANG IB TODD J. SMITH COLIN H. POWLES ! OLIVER D. HALLER COLLEEN L DURNIN » ! R JOY HARRIS NANCY L. STEVENSON FELICIA A. RENZELLA ; YEAR TWO ROBERT P. ELVY g H JAMIE R. HOLTOM JONATHAN M. STOVER J M ROSENBERG B !j ! A i i icqm i raim TIMOTHY B. EVENDEN - - PETER W. STRATFORD LINDA K '! j S PEGGY L. HUDSON RICHARD D. HAYDEN A. SALB MARK RRYAN !|!|! ■ CATHERINE L. JAMES PAULINE G. TOMAN JENNIFER L. SCHROEDER R hanjifi t rvprq KAREN L HORETH Jill!! H INGRID E. KAMINSKI JANA M. VESELY RANDY F. SCHUMACHER » iamippV rADTPD MELANIE R JOYNER PAULETTE M. WEST i!j!|!! ■ BRADLEY J. LITTLE JENNIFER C. KIPFER 8 PAULA CRISTI KAREN E. WOHNFURTER KATHRYN A KIRKBY I $i\ I CAROLYN C. DAHNERT WENDY L. WYNIA JEF F E K rfi; I S liav VINCENT De CAEN (1987-88) °^ St ampc MARI-ALICE MAY BARBARAD AO D A D fI A.A KUIPERSCDO tfftf '•j|i 9 amdrfw pi RiPk' :

i | YEAR ONE JEFFERY MITCHELL MARTINA GANDESKI HERMAN VAN DEN BERG CHRISTOPHER JANS B B R SHELLEYOLIVER ROBERTO GIAMMARCO PETER VAN MOL TERRIJERRARD ;!j ANDRFA AISFNPRFR ■ HEATHER PENFOLD MOYRA GLEASON KEVIN WHITHAM MICHAEL KETCHUM B : iampq

JODI RYAN HENNA HEVONKOSKI DANA YAMAMURA SANDRA MacINTOSH ; I RRPTwni ID Bjg B I B iyifrropJmaw NICOLE SCOLLARD JENNIFER HOEKSTRA ADELE MACALUSO wirAr| YEAR THREE ! I S COLIN SIMPSON PAUL HOOPER KIMBERLEY McCarthy B rHRIciTiM A niRPMi » OMHib l ina OALUAHbLLI B , SANDRA SMITH JOANN IMPENS LORI ADAMS LOIS NORRIS ■ ST SON CHRISTINE CHEN MICHEL BEAULIEU ! CHAR^ t^ MICHAELPOIRIER I ! ■ CORALEE COULTHARD RT CAMPBELL I RlMAN'TUMAK B SUANNEDEBOER KEVIN CRUICKSHANK £0 parh? PIVILIP IREINERT 1 ■ DEBBIE FAMME TIMOTHY DUNN H!R^FY I 2| rf, ™ M^phaf CC l LAUREY FORRESTER tS KARL ELLIS I uc ad c wPMnv ctaimpq YEAR TWO dBARBARA O TOOLE KRISTEN HAWKINS BROCK FURLONG rNil Sp I I LIANNE HILL BRADLEY BEATTIE ROSEMARY GORDON CATHERINE I KEVIN RORWICK TOUSAW NANCY i ■ KLEMBA lAN BOCK MICHAEL HALLETT I STEPHEN PEGGY VAN WONDEREN iB HEIDRUN KOSTENBAUER STEVEN BRAITHWAITE JEFFREY HEBEL Lav Shpm BRYAN WELSH fl 388 JAMES LAMB MICHAEL EBERT JOANNE HILLION EDWARDFDWARD STOCK

j— K« •«■ .

WR'!O , , , 88 !cl BC*iv< >1 1 1 I K * Br.'vQ !*«*■*«*.Oy ii i fi B 1 sfi I ii ii ii'iiifi'c I 0 mq I V^fijl

*'~ i 110 K iQyQyywWWWWWWyWftftft^^ft^^nWVViflflflflflflfluyyflyuuyyuyuuOyHyQyyyfcßWWflflft^Wll I St . I I D |uU Q^B > OH flntm wVjQDO • OQQD B D 18l D Uiwiwiiwiltfwwvvvwvwinnfvwwi HHHMWM ■■■■■MJUMiwmnwyiiywiiiiniiiiifiiiHfiiifiHnnr r n i K JK BU i VJH TheCord Weekly

11 November 16, 1989. -news Thursday

Poli sci fun at Hallowe'en

its do fool us — no trying to es- GAIL COCKBURN it was John who suggested we good we'll be back haunt News Frivolity the rounds. cape, to you

next So you bought your prof a And so braving hypothermia, year. beer at the "Meet the prof night clad in various witty ensembles Professor Brian Tanguay was

our soul, al- and now you're looking for a bit we struck out to track down another accommodating of Other natu- return on your money. mentors and to demand our though his dog Maggie T didn't than the invade their hoping money spent on ral born rights to seem too thrilled by the oddly suds was money well invested in homes and raid their candy bas- dressed raiders who invaded her an A++, the best way to coerce a kets. domain. Not prepared with the returned favour is to show up on A special mention must be traditional candies, Brian im- their and demand doorsteps made for our only non-poli sci provised magnificently and gave candy. who target, the Hunsburgers gave us oranges and a granola bar (did

After a Halloween celebra- have lunch des- us a good haul of ginger cookies, you to skip your tion, eaten our Adam in having surprisingly not cut the shape sert on Wednesday Brian?).

Smith Seafood Salad, Plato Pasta of ink blots. The award for the Political Science professors

Burke small have and Apple Betty a best pumpkin must be given to seem to a penchant for hy- canine group of us decided that a few of the Hunsburger pumpkin which peractive companions. our favorite more looked Rod Preece's think its (and gullible) was... well original and a dog (I

should be a visit. Rorschach name was Burke...) amused us by profs paid great deal like a test. and his wife and John McMenemy Darts to Barry Kay hurling itself from one end of the liber- were quite accommodating, Nicholas Nyri. We know you room to the other while we gra-

out and mark ally shelling bubble gum were in there! The darkened ciously offered to Rod's

"when I lad" stories. In fact was a windows and locked doors didn't thought papers. Too bad he didn't

agree, you kids could have all had

an A++. Extra points here for all-stations Here's an call to everyone out there who having those little chocolate bars make her wants to write news, or his opinions known, to nourish us on our long quest. tell amusing anecdotes, see his or her name in print, Ending up at Lev Gonick's the world to the enlighten coming armageddon, spread (realizing he was probably awake

the call down from the shoot the faith, lightnings sky, crunching numbers, the group wasn't worried about shit with the Cord's 5000+ readers, moon the too waking him bit and up), we chatted a audience, find perverted graphics to tickle the sensi- reliev- helped the poor guy out by tive psyches of do-gooders everywhere, or just plain ing him of all that extra candy he have a darned good time coming up to the news office wasn't able to unload on the little ftn oid, mad, 6Cind, despised, and dying king,-- before to discover the editor anytime noon news kids. I'd like to thank whoever it r the their dutt who Princes, dregs of race, fCow nowhere to be found because he's lying at home in bed was that phoned and called Lev

■ ■■ from the front ena- through scorn, -mudfrom a muddy listening to the Prince Batman soundtrack for the away door, puSCic spring, bling us to help relieve him of all %uters who neither see, nor nor tqiow... umpteenth time while he debates going to Canadian feet, that extra burdensome candy. down. -- well, come one News. It's me a history giving old Who says you're too to headache. 1819', trick or treat? from "Englandin (Percy (Bysshe Shettey

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12 Thursday November 16, 1989. *

THE CORD WEEKLY

Forgetrance Day

remember to Canada's dead last How did you or pay tribute war Friday?

About 35 administrators and five students gathered around the

for flagpole at 11:00 an eight-minute commemorative wreath-laying

service.

The Dining Hall and Torque Room served meals right through the

eleventh hour. The Bookstore continued to operate. The lights didn't

dim. 'Revelie' didn't sound.

If you did pause to remember the men and women who died, you

in risked missing important lecture notes most classes. Maybe some-

body should have told the profs that ten Waterloo College (now

WLU) students gave their lives in the Great War. Is finishing the re-

quired lecture material that important?

tables WLUSU threw some flyers on Torque Room Friday morn-

ing. Other than that, the only promo for the Remembrance Day ser-

of their ad the week vice was a four-line portion weekly previous

(and even at that they spelled it "Rememberance").

So now we know what's important. Promote the hell out of

draught beer, but when it comes to something as insignificant as a

moment of silence to remember dead warriors — well, call us when

in the they sell pitchers out there, okay? Maybe a spigot flag pole

would draw a few more people.

the in the Room. Per- Or maybe they could hold ceremony Torque

haps the most disappointing part of the whole day was coming and through the Torque Room after the sparsely-attended service faces being greeted by a cafeteriaful of mouth-stuffing gabbing away about midterms and one-night-stands. feminist What is Remembrance Day? What should it mean? Stop stereotype

One Cord staff member works a lot with children. When asked DEAR EDITOR: quick-to-take-offense feminist" when what Remembrance Day was, the kids knew, and it came time that "feminist" takes on a nega- of Letters for silence, they stood in silence. The kids were nine years age. I would like to thank those tive connotation. The Webster's

If they can understand, can't professors? Why can't post- why who wrote into the Cord last definition of feminism is "the ad- students? secondary "Bill of women's If week to explain to me that to the vocacy rights".

in that has Needle" is real that's what feminism is, I Maybe part of the problem lies the way remembering not a person. guess

thatbe. I that makes me a feminist. Society been ritualized, segmented and packaged for us by the powers Why, just the other day got into Editor needs its mind and start and remember. Remember for a little bit an with the Information to open Give a quarter, wear a poppy argument of and then back the I told that learning what feminism is really on one day the year, go to grind. Operator. person they about instead of had to be mistaken, there must be in this world got mad enough to applying ~ Children can understand that the first time around it's still fresh, to feminists. a listing for "Bill Needle". He's stand for themselves we could stereotypical images still vital. But people lose their focus, they forget. We forget. By the up such a big at Laurier, why he get somewhere. Remembrance means to most guy time they're 14 or 15, Day nothing in must have a A It is interpretation that Jennifer Rodgers in phone. pseudonym my people - boring, ill-prepared assemblies high school, nothing TTiis the 4th Year Honours Sociology you say?; very interesting. phrase "hyper-sensitive, more.

notion of a satire, that's really But that doesn't remove the onus of remembrance from us. We're quite a shock to me. You mean he the mis- in university to expand our minds and hearts, not to carry on was trying to be funny? Oh, now of takes we brought here with us. WLU I forgetting get it. guilty if We can't afford not to remember our own war dead. Even you Yes, I know that "Bill

in - — if don't believe war and who in their right mind does? even Needle" is not a real person and Remembrance Day Friday

don't believe that 'our' side had monopoly on virtue in either I know that the column is you any yes, often scheduled as were this EDITOR - CORD: they dead token of world war, even then owe Canada's war some supposed to be satirical. My point you Friday, November 10, from remembrance. in blood for what we take for But is two-fold. sexism is They paid granted. First, not a that the few of This is my final year at 10:30-11:30, so us there's too. humourous more, topic and secondly, who would like "remember" Laurier and until now I've been to "Bill Needle" showed taste poor in the middle of some Remembrance Day, ideally, should also be a time of remembrance like most students, fairly accept- are usually

in his treatment of a sensitive is- for the dead of all what of that class with a on war nations, no matter 'sides' they took or ing everything goes on professor droning sue. My question is, why does our whose died here. I've assumed that I past the 11:00 a.m. schedul- flag they under. The common soldiers of Germany fought nothing right consider it humourous to the in the values society can the bureaucratic ed remembrance time, without good fight too, believed they defended or attacked say change degrade women? for breath. for. So did the soldiers of Japan, and of Italy. system in this school and so there even a pause I the thoroughly appreciate in is it that in institution A standard Christian motto is 'Hate the sinner, not the sin.' Well, was no point speaking out Why an comments that "Bill Needle" now. as this, then we should remember all those 18 and 19-year-olds out there who against it, until of higher learning such should be criticized for a being Is there which is to be entertain- fell for their countries, and who didn't rise up again as angels or any "good" reason supposed satirist. A good poor very argu- the classes Laurier can't the ideal of more otherwise. Hate the shadowmen behind the wars, and the concept of why at ing a peaceful, ment was and obvious- presented for a 2 civilized we can't war itself. be interrupted measly future, dedicate ly there are people who are far minutes of silence in of 2 to the of Because until feel the deaths of don't respect minutes prevention we begin to people we even "Bill more capable of critiquing the dead who gave their lives for war. know as strongly as we feel the deaths of our own loved ones, then Needle's" than I writing ability sake of future In Who that if will and will the generations? was it that said, wars continue, the poppies grow on forever. am. I also agree with the state- other words - us!!? we forget our history, we are with those who in Flanders Fields. We haven't kept faith lie be "an ment that our goal should The Remembrance Day doomed to repeat it? did. Maybe we never eventual understanding and peace ceremonies have always taken between the two sexes." I think place at 11:00 a.m., as they Holly Currah The Cord on behalfof Cord staff and are Editorial opinions are approved by Weekly well that point was very ex- should be. classes are 3rd Students' Union and the Student Publications Board However, Year Psych. independent of the University, the pressed. of Directors. I do, however, have a problem

EDITORIAL BOARD with the label "hyper-sensitive, ' > quick-to-take-offense feminist". I Don't gripe in private! Chris Starkey, Editor-in-Chief I'm a little tired of guess just JonathanStover, News Editor Jana Watson, Production Manager and find out that with Write a letter to the editor you may Associate News Editor "discussing" things objec- Elizabeth Chen, Features Editor Caroline Baskerville, are 400 Scene Editor and calmness. What's ■ others feel the same way: Make sure they Brian Owen, Sports Editor Tony Burke, tivity

with emo- shorter and by wrong getting excited, words in length or are accompanied Offices are is during the fall and winteracademic terms. The Cord Weekly published tional even?; or letting and student 1.0. worse, your phone number Walters Shrineat Wilfrid Laurier located on the Second Floor of the Jeff Anti-Smoking know mad? I final- people you're noon. can be withheld. Waterloo 884-2990. The Cord Weekly is an Deadline Tuesday at Names University, 75 University Ave. W., (519) decided I wasn't going to back Canadian University Press and the Ontario Community Newspa- ly comatose member of • Publications. No of The Cord this CORD. Association. 1989, WLU Student part down from expressing myself It's per Copyright UlThe your paper! of the Editor-in-Chief. v i: ::;:: " be without the permission if a few more ' : li'■ • -— : ; '" ■■' -'. : 1- : Siaijiii iiii"-^ reproduced time. v1 - Weekly may Maybe people - The Cord Weekly

13 Thursday November 16, 1989.

Artsies are people too! Question DEAR EDITOR: house affect bear any sig- thing. I can hardly restrain conclu- nificance. The potential myself. What the hell do you

Never I felt ut- sion of that the author think teachers before have so is, course, your and profes- of this terly repulsed and outraged, as injustice believes himself sors study! What about the

when I read article not of the human dramatic your recent part race. arts, music, and the of the Week entitled, "Living Together in I must also comment on his symphony! Not to mention the

harmony" in the November 2nd reference to the study of such disciplines of medicine, research

issue of the Cord Weekly. First great literary works as and technology, nuclear physics,

of all I fail to see any justification Shakespeare as "irrelevant". Per- political science, journalism, and

for printing such outfight slander haps the works themselves do not those related to the business

and unfounded criticism towards interest all people, but the politi- world such as marketing, admin- Where will smokers go now that WLUSU has Laurier's so-called "Artsies". The cal, social, and religious implica- istration, and human resources! I banned TV article of- tion and that Lounge smoking as of Jan. 3? was not only extremely significance they would hardly agree that "Artsies" but also I all fensive, racist am ap- represent affect people of of either today or in past decades in palled to think that this day and religions and social class. have become on races, "maggots the By Liza Sardi and Jana Watson age anyone regardless of their I am sick to death of hearing government" for sustenance.

does not think such how "Artsies" will discipline en- never get jobs Mr. Hand you are indicative vironmental threats the as green- because they don't know any- of the Laurier Biz Knob (and I

use this term at the risk of over-

generalization). You are not only Anti-PT Send the bastards exam schedule racist a and lack any sort of jour- to but Aylmer nalistic integrity, you are the WLU DEAR EDITOR: judgement of long-time shallow-minded and obviously who teaches the professor course completely ignorant to the real Mark Hand

As a senior student taking a and the students of both sections. meaning of success. Perhaps you 2nd Year Lung Cancer senior economics course which is So what does the R.O. do? They are correct in that the meek shall

offered to both regular students set the two-hour exam for the not inherit the earth, but I ask you 5:00 without and P/T students, I must bring at- night class for p.m. will and fellow this, you your tention to the displayed changing the time slot for the day ignorance racist cohorts? As an English

individuals in the students. And as a by Registrar's generous major at Laurier and part of the the Office. I'm sure that bonus, they expect daytime Although Art community, I cannot say that

student has had some students to write the exam from 2 every WLU I will drive a BMW, or that I will

with the to 4 and then wait in nightmarish experience p.m. p.m. have a portable phone, or live until 5:00 Office I more the A.C. exam centre On a Registrar's speak in Rosedale, but I can say that I date with when the section specifically about those ir- p.m. night stu- that Michelle will have a broad education Landsberg who the dents write the exam! responsible ones set enter to mind to under- has opened my an Exam In Of all the intelligent choices Final Schedule. all my standing of the need for global Steve and Chris and year's at WLU I have known it to that could be made all possibly unity, peace and equality for 3rd Year Biz be almost set in stone that in or- were recommended, someone felt for nations and races, protections der to accomodate stu- that we'd have nothing better to part-time our severely threatened

dents, final exams in those do than sit in the A.C. for at least

courses which offer night sections an hour doing what...thinking of Kimberley Jones held in in how the are the evening the 6:30 person or person's 3rd Yr. English/Biology

p.m. time slot. Until now that is. responsible should be tortured.

In the Jones' my course exam was set editor's note: letter has been

for 2:00 witheld shortened the 400 word limit. p.m. against the better Name upon request to

Over to my house fish offends Kuper's graphic Henry Posthumus

Fourth Year Holidaying Laurier. Laurier is Our TO THE EDITOR: Already ac- condolences go out to

of quiring a reputation being you, Mr. Kuper, for having to live

and with such This letter is directed at Peter sexually warped "repressed" an outdated, unhealthy,

Kuper, the tastless culprit, who students. Peter Kuper has sexist,vulgar, demented and un- vision imagines himself to be an in- promoted this preverted image gratifying of woir.cn and

telligent, talented comic artist. even more. Thank you very sex.

for Well, sorry about your disillu- much. To the editor responsible the sionment! One would question the allowing repugnant, crass

No asked and behind this of one you to express humour meaning delusions a sexually-depraved

your sexual perversions in our vile depiction. There are many of- individual to appear on the pages Somewhere I'm not

school of the We newspaper. The comic fensive connotations that can be Cord. can only ques-

found on page 8 of last week's derived from the portrayal of a tion your professional ethics. Melissa Blease Cord issue with was downright woman a big fish flounder- Laverne and Shirley Hons. Butt Head degrading to the women of ing between her legs. 2nd year students

Hear ye, hear ye all past and present letter-writers

The Cord has received several letters in the few past weeks that we have been unable to publish because

the writers have not included for in touch with them. any means us to get We need a phone number and Somewhere I'm not

student I.D. because we need to contact who write libellous people stuff or go over the word limit. The either writers often asked — good are to stick around Gord Hocking and Mark Gordon have both offered their services after a shot in the letters column. It's most important though, to verify authenticity if the letter doesn't match the writer. Dana Pesce if So you are the person who wrote "Let's the Hawks" Abuse" support or "Supercop let us know who you Hons. Poli Sci. are. If for any reason don't — you want your name published, we can withhold it but we do need to know who can explain what they wrote.

the university blues by Kevin Matchstick

Gas Stations and

Hair Spray Factories

Rothmans, DuMaurier

and Players The Cord Weekly

14 Thursday November 16,1989. '

The letter home - part II A neat Business story

the following "letter home", the second in a two-part series, is the

compilation of thoughts of several residence students. Because of A long time ago there was a wise One day the son walked into the lobby of his fa- possible academic repercussions, they have asked that their names be ther's office find it businessman. This man was a creative, highly building to full of solicitors. He withheld. very and evicted motivated executive with awesome time- was very angry, efficiently them. Their

skills. presence, was an insult to the of the wise Dear Mom: management integrity The time came when the businessman decided businessman.

that he'd like to have a child to out his plans Meanwhile the treasurer of the corporation had I'm back! carry A incidents and the Star I've heard about for a major corporation. been embezzling funds. competitor offered him a Since the panly raid article,

about the of His son was born, but instead of raising the boy sum of to incriminate the son in a tax professors who have been lecturing evils panty raids, even money though they don't know most of the facts. Then they have circulated petitions himself, he businessman wisely chose parents who scandal, even though the son was completely in- obsessed with this would raise the in accordance with his which most kids were afraid not to sign. Some seem issue, boy express nocent. The treasurer accepted the offer, and the

almost to the point where you wonder what theirreal motives are. wishes. The son was to learn a trade which would son was brought to trial. The son knew all along Most of the kids in residence are mostly because nobody seems to upset, prepare him for his future role in building the cor- that he would be betrayed, but he allowed himself

want to talk to them. N poration. to be taken by the government officials in order to and I haven't done Well, I'm not dumb, I'm not sexually repressed, any- When the twelve old, he travelled boy was years fulfill an integral part of the businessman's plan. thing I didn't want to. They say universities are for learning, well, this is what relatives to the ! with his foster parents and their big Sometimes have to make sacrifices in order to I've learned so far: you that for a festival. His mother assumed he was maximize jcity jour long-term profits. with her but when home he there's who do that relatives, they got was 1) at all events, always a few people really stupid things The son visited the men that he had trained, nowhere to be found. They looked for the boy for ruin the fun for the rest (the obscene posters) even thought had switched locations. They be- three little about days. that members and students care very rights, 2) some faculty came stronger and began to market the product with When they finally found him, his mother said, censorship, or freedom of speech more fervor than ever. Not only was the product a us? We've been "Son! have you done this to side | Why 3) that the truth needonly be used when it supports your unique life-insurance policy, but it was a lifestyle. I looking everywhere for you and we were worried attitude, relationship. and an a to advance their political 4) that classrooms can be used by professors ! sick!" intimidation moral beliefs and that real good at At first it seemed as though the would they're . "There was no need for you to worry," he product be available only to local but the of whose freedoms or "Don't know I must be about my fa- markets, 5) that the end justifies the means irregardless rights, replied. you businessman commissioned relations in there ther's business?" a public man reputation you trample getting the name of Paul market it far and wide. For the knew who his real falter by to to let the facts in the of a son was. 6) that newspapers try not get way good story He returned home with his foster parents. He The product - a lifestyle, an attitude, and a rela- believe be most of which each other 7) that newspapers to true, prints loved all who knew ~ is available To work for the grew tall and wise and was by tionship today. Bos?

is in the is done and it can never be made sacrifices but there 8) once something print, damage hira. requires many are fringe bene- better fits such and The businessman took ova die young man's as love, joy, peace true fulfillment.

can be abused because he The of sin from 9) that a university president totally publicly training and in eighteen years the son began to wages (separation a a right rela- mob hate chooses to hear the facts before he acted (lynch trials) work full-time for his father. He recruited twelve tionship with God), no matter how attractively the various fields assist him in death. The Son is like this school much men from to building products are packaged, are offer- 10) that some people don't very them. eternal life. Choose tiie corporation and spent much time training ing ye this day whom ye shall

these admit that don't want with and I heard today that some of faculty they really Hie son was tempted political power serve.

here act with that wanted to force the administration to his he his to fight us, they really material wealth during career but obeyed

feel are on some women's issues that they important. his the before him. Rowan father and kept eyes set on goal Meggison feel if know what I At this I Sort of makes you used, you mean. point

and don't think anyone wants to try defend a panty raid, but I worry about

what floor else comes next, maybe dating or parties or something we may WLUSU BOD attendance have wanted to do.

I this of stuff other universities but of them guess sort goes on at none

admit - that be bad want to it sort of thing can very for your public image.

How true, how true. 100% Scott Williams, Maureen McGuire, Grant Gingrich

I'd better I've too much time about this. Come to Well, go, spent talking Joan Pickel, Gord Bilecki think of it, we all have. 90%

&2%....Aidan Tracey, Mary Robinson, Cory Lipovschek, Anastasia Hryciw

Stark Raving 73% Dan Nielsen, Nick Jiminez, Karen Gordon

36% Damon John by Chris Starkey

and It's is LISTEN UP, all little boys girls! time for a story. Today's story about a little boy and Last week I outlined some of most 100 applications and listen- girl, and the witch that lived next door! So gather 'round, and listen closely. the that WLU Student Pub- to scads of interviews, the things ing * * *

lications has bitten off in the past lucky winner declines the job of- 'Waterloo. was now LittCe lived in a housing in Every dwelling public; pri- fer. WLUSU is 'Bitty public apartment few years, and the problems a Meanwhile, outlawed anti-social the all-zvise 'David. vate had been as by government of great "King body that size has had in chew- sponging off its regular full- property timers while the is loved (David; did. lived zoith his mother and Little Susie, his ing. In the continuing saga of position re- 'Bitty King everyone myways, 'Bitty I'm told BD "good intentions, poor implemen- opened etc. a new sister. An evil witch-professor lived ne\t door. Bitty and his family would love to move away from the tation", here's some things I've will be hired soon. Last year, David's realm. endured. this vAtch, but there were no vacancies anywhere in King So they in noticed happening (or not hap- bar manager Terry Steen quit Barbie and the It was their One day, Bitty and Susie were playing Ken in hallway. favourite game; Dawson pening) at your Students' Union. January and Dan was and all roles whenever Susie was Barbie, Bdly was Ken. They played afternoon, changing theygot hired to replace him in August.

bored. Until one The Turret: Behold, behold the Hmm... day... other little and in the That was the that the zvitch came home harassing girls brand new Turret. Well, the The recent general meeting: How day early from boys that little and didn't dance floor is new. has about the of those That her and she it so. She believed know Enough wording city. was job, enjoyed just boys girls been but said about this before, "neutral" questions? "Whereas we what what what wanted. She them. And they they lik&d, or fcjiow was fun, or they enjoyed telling if the how incident only outlines can't control our spending of didn't listen, we 11... But I digress. be to allo- BOD egos can swayed your money under the present the witch home this and and Little Susie Barbie Anyways, came early day saw Littly Bitty playing cate $250,000 they don't have for SAC fee of 70 bucks, check 'yes' when the untch this she and 'Ken. Little Susie was Barbie, and Little Billy was 'Ken. 'Well, saw a new bar...which they still don't in the box below" would have

after to into She at the children, them their minds were corrupted, have even scrambling get been more to the point. You flew a rage. began screaming telling being of mil- have asked a good chunk the quarter could anything with and that their minds were se?(ism. stereotypes were being reinforced, being polluted by rampant lion. slanted wording like that and got- she Little Bitty andLittle Susie didn't know why was upset. They were just playing as they always WLUSU Wilfs: And hey...since ten away with it. Preying on the do. doesn't have enough money to masses' ignorance to get what ' witch 1 screamed the witch, know not what do". With that the on to "9{o EXCUSES. "you you banged redo the Turret, they're going you want is not your mandate. door the little children's Their mother answered. re-carpet and paint Wilf's. The The Denny Dent Portrait: To the to apartment.

a secret the little a choice em- reason it has been this refresh, the entertainer/artist The witch repeated what she hadsaid to children, adding few expletives for

long is because WLUSU doesn't donated an original work of children what harm be done?" phasis. 'But they are playing; can want another publicity campaign Bruce Springsteen to hang in the into had the witch. do not do I shall take Unfortunately, logic no effect on "If you anything, justice like the Turret's and then have Turret 15 months Two con- ago. edu- Mother would do she told the evil witch to home and watch some own hands!" nothing; go nothing to show for it. secutive WLUSU administrations my cational television, and to let the children The Elevator: "WLUSU wants to have been too cheap to mount it play. her and catted the to the needless to that witch was ticked She went to police. be accessible physically and the frosh class of 1988's con- Well, say off. apartment

was the Then the next to donut a short, challenged" cry. tribution is decaying away They arrived somewhat late, having been disturbed at their break. To make long story in and the hand- cabinet. plans come a filing and Little were the witch laid charges of sexually deviant behaviour against Little Bitty Susie. They icapped washroom is taken out of co-witches on the tried also be a even more jury, by a judge (who happened to witch), foundguilty by the scheme. How noble! Now we Maybe next week I'll do a children sentenced to eternal and their sentence was delivered an

months WLUSP and in that dreaded hell as Western. elevator that's over two WLUSU are doing purgatory known

* t * late in completion. for their students. Come to think lesson that ? now children, what was the of of it I story The vacant Building Director though, may not get enough

material. position: After sifting through al- The Cord Weekly

15 Thursday November 16, 1989. KOMIXX

LIFE IN HELL By Matt Groening The Cord Weekly

16 Thursday November 16,1989. Christmas

Christmas is for white, flaky snow, roaring fires and the scent of

pine trees everywhere. Christmas is for schlussing down the slopes,

dashing through the snow and gliding over frozen ponds. Christmas is for family. Christmas is for the Santa Claus Parade. Gift-giving

Carolling. Midnight mass. Christmas is for steaming turkey with

stuffing and hot, spicy eggnog. Christmas is for fragrant sprigs of Business Area and decorated with Improvement holy, bright mistletoe trees loving care. But most of all, Christmas Is For Sharing.

As the name suggests, the Business Improve- This Saturday's Santa Claus Parade is the kick-off for Uptown

of founded ment Area Uptown Waterloo was to Waterloo Business Improvement Area's annual Christmas campaign.

help improve the business area. Improving consists The BIA has chosen this year's theme: Christmas Is For Sharing. The

of better aesthetics and better services. The BIA is main purpose of the campaign is a large-scale food drive, to benefit

funded wholly by businesses in Waterloo and area. those who are unable to provide for themselves and their families. To

Each business contributes a certain percentage of achieve this goal, the BIA has enlisted the aid of the Food Bank of

profit to benefit the city. Waterloo Region.

Le Executive Director of the the and invited Kathryn Gros, After parade, hungry spectators participants are to that Waterloo the BIA, states businesses "regard the Poor Boys Luncheon at the Waterloo Town Square Deck. Admis- BIA and in its role the business community sion is two cans of food or $2, proceeds of which go to the Food There favourably." are still, however, some Bank. Afterwards, stroll through Waterloo Town Square and admire

businesses that regard belonging to the organization all the window displays featuring posters and food hampers. Shoppers These the small as unnecessary. are mostly are encouraged to bring cans of food to donate to store hampers. businesses that feel their contributions to monetary Also on display will be canned sculptures. These works of art are be "But once they realize what unjustified. usually created and produced by skillful grade six students from the area.

their dollars are towards, are more than Is For going they The BIA been Finally, the Christmas Sharing program will be wrapped up has overwhelmed by the corpo- willing to support the BIA." December 22 with traditional carolling around the Christmas tree. rate response to requests for donations for the Poor The Christmas Is For Sharing campaign has sparked a tremendous Boys Luncheon and to the "Sharing" theme. amount of Kathryn Le Gros, Executive Director of the BIA, Sponsors of the luncheon include J.M. Schneider, support. has received enthusiastic from individuals and the business Weston Bakeries, H.J. Heinz, Hostess-FritoLay, responses community offering ideas, time, donationsof both and Red Carpet Coffee and Bruce Edmeades Sales. energy, money and skills. Le Gros is enthused the supplies, spirit quite about response In BIA she is from reply to the praise the has received concerning the food getting businesses that belong to the and drive, Le Gros simply states: "We recognize that there's a need BIA. Offers of support in the form of donations and

we that we have the to help." suggestions have flooded the tiny office that is recognize power tucked beside Carolyn Fast, Executive Director of the Food Bank of Waterloo away Schendel's on King Street South. Region, commends the BIA for their "excitement and enthusiasm for

the Christmas Is For The Food Bank is The BIA Sharing campaign." especially encompasses a large geographical grateful to the BIA for the raising of public consciousness with area. Downtown Kitchener, downtown Cambridge, respect to the food issue in Waterloo and area. Fast asserts that "the Uptown Waterloo and downtown Guelph BIA most important thing Uptown has done for us is to create a lot of businesses all contribute to the association. of the food situation in the Some beautification awareness community." recognizable projects per- Food Bank BIA the The also applauds the for generating awareness formed by BIA includc the eye-pleasing street for the Thanksgiving food drive, which just ended October 9. lamps, the tree lights, the sidewalk landscaping and 145,000 pounds of food was gathered, a 79% increase from last the cobblestone walkways. The BIA also runs an annual year's 81,000. parking promotion and a Christmas Since this marks the first Christmas a food drive is being run, campaign. year

no projections could be made as to the results. Both organizations,

however, are highly optimistic.

122 King Street South, Fax (519) 747-0069 creative of her Direc- P.O. Box 908, Waterloo Phone (5191 885-1921 aspects job.

Ontario N?J 4C3 tor of the BIA is constantly chal-

Ms. Le Gros to think of and in- is a graduate of lenged new

Wilfrid Laurier University. She novative ideas to run campaigns.

Le Gros is in of the con- obtained a Bachelors of Music charge ception and execution of the with a Business Diploma. Like Le Gros BlA's various Music Fast, was attracted to the programs. her position of executive director be- has helped her in that it keeps

and cause of its diverse nature. She in an receptive enterprising mind. finds herself utilizing all com- frame of Le in ponents of her business diploma Gros' previous job was she from administration and account- the music industry. Although KATHRYN LE GROS to and no deals with it, r ing personnel longer directly fv utIVP '"«"tO r marketing. As for her in music, she is still actively involved and UPTOWN WATERLOO BUSINESS degree Le Gros finds it useful for the enjoys music. IMPROVEMENT AREA SHAR The Cord Weekly

17 Thursday November 16, 1989. is for

FEATURES

Food Bank of Waterloo Region

The Food Bank of Waterloo opened January their food requirements.

1984 in to the after-effects of the 1970's response Food items always needed are: pork and beans, written and photographed depression. who had been laid off could still People powdered milk, macaroni and cheese, rice, pasta, find the by Elizabeth Chen not employment and high cost of living cereals, tinned fruits, tinned vegetables, tinned both critical factors in the of were struggles people soup, peanut butter, jam, honey, canned fish and below the line. living poverty canned meat. So, forego the KD for once and come The Food Bank is direct not a distributor of to Waterloo Town Square to drop it off in the food food. Instead, it has 14 member dis- agencies which hamper of your favourite store.

tribute the food to those who are in need of it.

These include food agencies banks, soup kitchens,

meals on wheels, crisis shelters and homes. The

various members are Aldaview Residential Ser-

vices, Argus Residence for Young People, Anselma

House, Cambridge Community Food Co-op, Cam- bridge Family Crisis Shelter, House of Friendship,

Marillac Place, Salvation Army, St. George Centre,

St. John's Kitchen, St. Monica House, St. Vincent

de Paul and the YWCA of Kitchener-Waterloo. As-

sistance is also provided to New Hamburg/Wilmot Community Services and Woolwich Community Information Centre.

The Food Bank has two main philosophies. The their firm first is belief that all members of a

should share the wealth society of that society so that everyone is able to sufficiently obtain the

necessities of life. The most important necessity is,

naturally, food. The Food Bank realizes, however, that they only provide an emergency short term

solution the Research to problem. is being con-

ducted to address the root causes of hunger. The second philosophy is one concerning waste.

In North America, the supply of food is abundant.

Yet of edible tons food arc wasted each day. The Food Bank sees its role in society as one of redistributor of resources that would otherwise be wasted. This provides a valuable service to social service with agencies working the needy as it al- them lows to invest more dollars in their people and programs and less on food expenditures.

The Food Bank has four major sources of fund- ing. Private donations constitute 30% of all revenues. The various charitable members make up a quarter of the funds. The United Way contributes and the 22% Region of Waterloo (the municipal government) provides an additional 19%.

than Other the two annual food drives, the Food

Bank collects from food bins that are placed in su-

to permarkets encourage shoppers to drop off a can or two. These food items are picked up and sorted entirely by volunteers.

two secretaries The food items stored in CAROLYN FAST Veitch part-time are the warehouse at

— diverse. 55 Canbar Director Fast's duties are very Street, Waterloo. Member agencies ar- The main component of her job is rive periodically to "shop" at the warehouse for MEETING COMMUNITY A NEED organization. Amongst numerous THROUGH COMMUNITY CO-OPERATION other activities, she organizes the

United Wag food drives, volunteers and

promotion.

Having graduated with a So- THE FOOD BANK OF cial Studies degree from the Uni- WATERLOO REGION versity of Waterloo, Fast is natu-

55 Canbar St., with her at Waterloo, Ont. N2L 2A3 rally pleased position

884-0230 the Food Bank. Her job directly

Ms. Fast has been executive relates to the social services sec-

director of the Food Bank of tor.

Waterloo for of the Region three years Fast learned job open-

now. Since there are only four ing through her acquaintanceship

employees -- herself, John with the previous director who

Reimer the of his warehouse manager had informed her intention

and Alyce Hiebert and Grace to resign.

ING The Cord Weekly

18 Thursday November 16, 1989.

IFIGURE OUTI

dog if the friend snooker

street it's clean duck proof

kitchen Molson cold spot stand

down Canadian taste music sport

coin empty it's of hot

over gonna genuine photo mugs

food taste Canadian light party

jump great beer second hour

Read each col of words to rself. Then umn you jjflll

' close and each column out loud. Score 5 for ;% your eyes repeat points

each column recite Scone 10 if scream the you correctly points you 611% words at the of lecture. out top your lungs during a psychology The Cord Weekly

19 Thursday November 16, 1989.

The Scene

at a glance

We've made an enemy of the sun,

And sold our weapons to everyone;

Now we want to buy the sky,

Leave heaven alone,

Leave heaven alone

Exene Cervenka

NEWS

Coming soon: Tom Cochrane and Hypocrisy mars Phil's benefit Red Rider, "The Symphony Ses-

sions". Recorded live in concert, Feizal Concert Review Valli, was a chard's March 17, in Edmonton pose undoubtedly product earlier quote. The concert of the most obvious of 18, 1989, ways. of one too Black Labels itself with The Edmonton Symphony many was arranged to raise Many of the bands, I found,

"lt's hard not to be a (the official beer, I'm led to be- the Orchestra. Live material includes: money for preservation of even didn't reflect an overt posi- Inside The hypocrite these days, y'know." lieve, of the socially aware). Temagami (all proceeds from the tion "Big League", "Boy on the issue and for the most These in inter- In of bar and the Man", "Lunatic and words, spoken spite the ambiguous mo- door were turned cited Fringe", part "getting a gig" as their view with Mike Cohen's A Blanchard, the tives, the music was there, and over), but to that was Leonard "Bird On side-by-side main reason for appearing. bassist of The Rhino's, seemed to music it was at that. an and Wire". A new studio track, "The good Dizzy advertising recruitment ef- "Nature is like a keep mind as band from fort relied woman;" Next Life" is also featured. ringing through my Maroon, a 5-piece that heavily on the con- professes Gabe Lee of I watched a number of bands take and whose of the Wis- Guelph, Terry Odette, sumption paper products in the consin Johnsons. "You to the stage at Phil's Grandson's credits include work with Tom of leaflets and can only Perennial Canadian rock band, way newsprint. in benefit beat her so times until Place last Wednesday a Cochrane, Glass Tiger and Ron- Much like the vegetarian who many you Rush, have once again com- concert for the Temagami come home from work and she's nie Hawkins, both on owns a pair of leather shoes, mitted themselves to vinyl for put great the Wilderness gone." Society. shows their Temagami vehicle both condones Presto, their 13th studio album. featuring pop The show, which drew an ab- originals. and condemns its actions in some So it Produced by Rupert Hine goes. solutely packed house, featured Midway through the night we (Howard Jones) the record is five bands from in-and-around were treated to a slide show slated to be released Monday No- in- the Kitchener-Waterloo area, depicting the "serenity of the vember 20 under their new dis- cluding: Dizzy Maroon, The Wilderness and what tributor, CBS Records. Starting Temagami

Rhinos, StephenSteve, Terry harm was to come of it" with mu- early in 1990Rush will be hitting Odette (not to be confused with sical accompaniment the road throughout Canada and by

Bowmanville's Terry Kellett) and StephenSteve, an acoustic trio the U.S. and will be out for The Wisconsin Johnsons. that borrows heavily from the several months supporting Presto. The packed house, I can as- folkie traditions of the sixties.

sure you, didn't owe much to the The Rhinos followed and

the EVENTS names on bill; after all, these proved to be the high point of the unknown bands are relatively and evening; adding a sense of this is definitely not the humour to their show as On November 23 The English Amnesty they International Tour. What I for the better of their Suitcase Theatre Company will can't played, part

their assure you of is why the place set, "songs about surfing and be bringing acclaimed pro- was so packed. beer". The Wisconsin Johnsons duction of Doctor Faustus to the I'd like to that the bar was I ended headlin- University of Waterloo. The say who, assume, up filled with who the show result show is presented at The Theatre people were truly ing as a of their of the concerned with the but I winners arts and tickets are only cause, exposure as of Qlo7's For $3.00 for students. can't. the most part, the Homegrown contest, tended to

crowd looked a lot like more con- sound many of the other cerned with their wardrobe than Waterloo Showtime presents commercially successful bands the fate of "The Theatre Beyond Words' imagina- Largest Remain- coming out of Canada. Their ing Old-Growth Pine Stand tive mime production of the stage show was equally as dull. Remaining In Ontario" and I the real bone I Potato People for two shows, guess only whose remaining sense of have to lies in Mike Blan- 'Jeizctf VaCCi Saturday November 18 at 11:00 pur- pick pfoto

am and 2:00 pm, in the

Humanities Theatre, University of Waterloo in store for Waterloo Showtime and the Changes campus pubs Seagram Museum kick-off their

Cabaret Series with Beth Ann taste-buds. With Mark Hand, a nod and a forced been Drinking to wear fairly formal at- good, and the crowd comes Cole's presentation of Me, Myself smile he ushered in the first of tire: ties for men and skirts for That's for and Music, one night only, Satur- away happy. good that will witnessed Dean many changes change women. This will be A and November Wilf's-goers changed. business, it provides a good day, 18, 8:30 pm in the face of Wilf's. Nichols' triumphant first sip of more relaxed button-down style service. In addition, musical the Seagram Museum. acts

draught beer on WLUSU that shirt will be the uniform for such Fred Hale Monday hopes things the as are getting ex-

afternoon. As of Wilf's new like louder will half of all while IN CONCERT part music draw a new upper staff, it is cellent reception from Wilfs at- the look, virginal keg was crown of beer guzzlers. The in- to the individual to dress their tendees. WLUSU up want to get

cracked by the Dean of Students tent of Wilf's is more to provide a bottom half. "Anything but acts like this in hope that it In the area once Blue again, in with his will keeping following tra- lounge-type bar. This will not be jeans," said Dawson. "We want to continue to produce good Rodeo will appear at Fed Hall ditional of the be but ceremony opening a compromised by changes, but classy still, more relaxed." results. November 18. new bar. it is hoped that a new The planned renovations atmosphere are "Thank God It's Friday" is 20: November Harry Belafonte The Dean's lips smacked as more to in December and up with the times will be begin should dead, but according to WLUSU one show only at the Centre in the golden taste of draught beer created. be in completed January. New VP: Finance Shafeeq Bhatti it is the Square, Kitchener. flowed past his connoisseur's Wilf's staff are and are in currently carpet paint only the be- the planning stages to intro- Taps are back in the Concert ginning. The table placement will duce something like it. "Maybe game with Tues- be changed with the of garage bands on hopes on Saturday's or something," said

day nights. Look for creating a different while local K-W look, Bhatti in a rare interview. band flow and in- The Result with Doc improving traffic seem "Things to go over well on Tokyo November 21. creasing capacity. Saturday's in Wilfs even though One of the biggest changes is the Turret do Spirit of the West conspirator doesn't so well the removal of a third of the now." Connie Kaldor brings her bench to seating make way for a WLUSU acoustic-based music to U of W President A 1 Strath- of November new set stairs. This will dee is 25. concerned over the bar

ostensibly make it a lot easier for at Cliff Appearing Wilf's: Erik- situation. "Like it or not," he said, the people in the son November 25. sitting upper "we depend on the pubs for most section of Wilf's to see what is The Turret their of replaces cover our money. Without our bar when there is bands with David Wilcox going on an act ap- No- revenues, WLUSU would choke." vember 29. pearing. Strathdee said that other means of The WLUSU Georgia Sattelites play at plans to keep for going making money WLUSU ser- the Highlands December 1. on with the highly successful vices are being explored, but the

Stages presents former "metal "Just Joking" At- bars will comedy nights. always be the big money aueen" Aaron tendance Lee December 11. for these events has makers. Liza Sardi photo The Cord Weekly 20 Thursday November 16, 1989. scene The Second Animation Celebration BOREO Cartoon creativity

Sarah Welstead, Film Review curb that nicotine urge. The only problem with this

film is Not all of the shorts are mere- that it is a little disjointed

ly amusing, however. "Lazar", by at times. Some of the shorts are You not think that DT THE may Gavrilo Gnatovich, is about a parts of commercials or music cartoons for 110 watching political prisoner who finally gets videos, and only one of them is

minutes is to look for- something released, only to attempt to break longer than 10 minutes. The

ward to - then again, maybe you

d0...1 don't know, I had a bad

day. Well, this movie is guaran-

teed to HIGMIFE ? perk anyone up. The Second Animation

Celebration: The Movie is a film

made up of 22 animated shorts by

animators from all over the

world, including Russia, Britain,

the United States and Italy. Some

are thought-provoking (albeit,

cliched), some are innovative, but

most are just plain funny.

The main feature running

through the film is the five dif- ferent pieces about The Simp-

sons, characters created by Matt

Groening (the genius behind Life

in Hell), seen every week on The Tracey Ullman Show. This is from Pixar's "Tin the first straightforward animation, but the A scene Toy", computer animated

film to win featured in The Second mini-storylines are so clever and ever an Academy Award,

life that can't Animation Celebration: The Movie. true to you help down the wall that laughing at them. separates his audience can get overwhelmed

Some of the other highlights empty city from paradise. with the hundreds of images The is were "Knickknack", a three-and- Cold War symbolized flashing across the screen.

of in which a the film is well CHECKOUT a-half-minute a snowman by "Propagandance", Regardless, story Cossack and break dancer have who lives inside one of those neat a worth seeing, even at Premiere

little plastic souvenirs with water a dance-off and eventually skip Prices. The Second Animation

off into the sunset hands. Celebration is thePrin- inside, and snow that really falls holding playing at

It is not particularly original in it- cess Cinema from November when you shake it up, and"25 16th the 25th. It is Ways To Quit Smoking", offering self, but the animation quality is through a great

SOME some original and violent to remarkable. couple of hours of entertainment. ways WIIDEIEE Gross comedy

main with this Donna Goudreau, Movie Modine as Joe Slovak, takes One problem movie is that there isn't much of Review place in a pre-med class, "gross Laurie and focuses a Joe chases after When you leave the theatre anatomy", on a group story.

which dissects a man named but she can't forsake her attempt steamed that you went to see a to become a doctor just for love; film that was a complete waste of Harry. Kim becomes and of time and what The members of the starring pregnant w*r money, runs into labour at a semi- course goes

crucial point in time; Dave goes

to at school; FULLY LICENSED on speed keep up UNDER THE L L BO and Miles spends the entire RESTAURANT/NIGHTCLUB movie trying to outdo, and make faces of disgust, at Joe.

like the in- This may look it WEDN[SDAV,riIIIiDAV,SAI(IRDAY gredients for a good plot, but The few never really develops. ADMISSION FREE 849 storylines Gross Anatomy begins it makes are so predictable, that in you wonder why you are CLASSIC ROCK school when you can earn a living writing this sort of rubbish.

We are left asking some really 70 S without ID'S EVERT THIIRSDAV! pointless questions

yearning to discover the answers.

Will Laurie eventually give in to

her emotions of love? Will Kim

have her baby before finals? Who

When cocky freshman Joe Slovak (Matthew Modine) meets end When will up delivering it? Laurie Rorbach (Daphne Zuniga) in Gross Anatomy class, he s we learn of Dr. Woodruff's devises his lesson for to know the and own plan - die? getting pretty mystery illness will she privileged doctor-to-be in Gross Anatomy. Will there be a happy ending to

through your mind will probably clan include, along with Joe: this movie? Will Hollywood stop such be similar to what one of the Laurie Rorbach, Joe's love; Dave creating pointless movies as

this one? people I was with said: "I want Shriner, his roommate; Kim all back. This movie's The at least wasn't my money McCauley; and the bad/nice guy acting the weren't left with going to be out on video next of the movie, Miles Reed. The bad; actors Of week!" entire class is supervised by Dr. much to work with. course,

like this one has its Gross Anatomy, at best, is a Rachel Woodruff, who at times, any movie, but worth the THURSDAY NOVEMBER 30 hit-and-miss attempt at comedy. makes the Wicked Witch of the good parts, nothing $7.00 it costs for admittance. The film, starring Matthew West seem like Mother Theresa. CELEBRITY TEAMS FROM

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scene 21 Thursday November 16, 1989. Poetry read through the Back Door

Markle exam students can take Sparkle, Angst from wearied fun." original work. "casual awareness and fresh in-

advantage of the opportunity. Featured this time The release heralded If that includes Aylmer are local press spiration." you,

The event is a the fun traditionally musicians Clock International Four Words Unspoken as a light runs from 7:00 p.m. until Have live you ever been to a gathering of and old for those young poetry and Simone Kelly along with a atmosphere gathering midnight, with a modest $2.00 poetry reading? If not, you don't lovers from the K-W area. off for host of poets reading their who like to take time cover charge. know what you're missing. But Several artists - poets and you can remedy that on Novem- musicians - are featured through- ber 19 at The Back Door in the each of whom 112 out evening, Kitchener. offer brief examples of their An Ounce of Contraception Poetry. The press release talents. There is no unifying

called it "Reflected history in the theme except the love of creative

thoughts of a simple emotion. Steve works, and an inspired apprecia- by Burke What would it be worth to cap- tion of the depths of man's art- those ture live, pages of history." istic soul. now I'm a dink. I didn't know How about $2 and an evening of that I wasn't supposed to take The event is held in The Back your time? him seriously. He seemed to Door. Again, if you've never On 19 November Four Words know what he was talking about heard of the place, you're not will an else would it? Unspoken present evening Also known Why they print alone. as Flippers of entertainment a provided by He had to find the man who and Club FM in previous incarna- wide selection of local talent. did this to him. But did he want tions, The Back Door has been a to? Poets, musicians, artists, they'll Being a penis would have its Punk club and was the first Disco all be there at a small club hidden drawbacks, naturally. However, discotheque in the area. Now it the Metro Tavern called under Gregor Smegma was like a man just caters to whoever wants to The Back Door. possessed, totally obsessed with hire the place out.

sex. If never heard of Four you've Located at 164 Victoria St. He practiced doing sit- Words Unspoken don't worry, push-ups, North, Kitchener, The Back Door and whatever else he aren't alone. It five ups, could you began is nestled under the Metro do to increase his before when a of strength years ago group people Tavern. It hosted the first Four

seeking out his victims. It was together to have a one night The got Words Unspoken back in June, Metamorphosis like a event local poetic being superhero! headlining 1984. Since then, the event has talent. Since then, it has been Suddenly, Gregor noticed that a small but follow- of felines kill spawned loyal Gregor Smegma, student couple to some time his roommate had awakened and pretty much an annual occasion ing. number 89044767, awoke in his before his morning class. Gregor was on the to held each June when most stu- phone security. Kevin organizer of room also Diebolt, residence one morning to noticed his vocabulary had Within the minutes, they would be dents have gone home for discover that overnight he had expanded considerably since the here him to take away. Of course, summer. This year they're hold- should event be "a fun evening. transformed into a large penis. It day before. Words like 'bitch', the school couldn't have a six- ing a second night, at a time when But then again, they're always could have been the mouldy 'chick' and 'clitori' suddenly foot sex fiend on campus. He had macaroni in the box of Kafka seemed as natural to him as to do Find something. a way out. Dinner he had eaten and the night be- bacon, eggs spam. 7 Gregor shrank himself down fore; but more likely was the Gregor crawled slowly and STUD* size to as much as possible, with hypothesis that it resulted from quietly to the bathroom, trying his face firmly tucked away, then in the not to reading a column paper wake his roommate. He FRANCE with - IN sprung all his might through called "Your Biorhythm" by Bill discovered that in order to cSISim the open window to the ground. rtTTFg^y Needle. He had become a sexist urinate, he had to bend his entire He rolled several feet, landing > Students can enjoy a unique z:Z, Pig- the urinal. body over Seething beneath an angry mob of social opportunity to earn university There I ) monte was a difficulty getting with hatred for Mr. Needle soon credits toward a Canadian workers. Without a chance to out of bed, and Gregor had to sort B.A. while studying in the overshadowed Gregor's self- Jy scream, they were upon him, of — roll onto the floor to south of France near Nice, avoid put- loathing and sense of social in- covering Gregor with a large, viuetranche mediterranean The Universite canadienne ting on his SEA pressure overly-large How was he • 5t Jean adequacy. going to I transparent, plastic restraining Cap Ferrat en offers two France pro- testicles. Strange things began get to class? He couldn't even sheet, which suffocated him in grammes. A full 8-month N CE his UNIVERSi E happening to body. When he hold Who the hell is Bill ' J|J^™ session (Sept, April) offers a pen. seconds. twisted his back toward the mir- studies in Humanities, Needle? is he this? I / Why doing That'll teach him to read Bill could vein ■ / Social Sciences and ror, he see a large run- used to be a perfect gentleman, Needle. in both down his in languages, English ning spine, ending a and French. An intensive spring session in May-June features courses in mass of recently adopted hair. He French as a second language, History and InternationalBusiness. needed a and had Federal/Provincial student and cigarette, no assistance scholarships may apply. choice but to and For information, call or write: try smoke it

UNIVERSITE CANADIENNE EN FRANCE through the newly acquired hole Laurentian University, Ramsey Lake Road, Sudbury, Ontario P3E 2C6. in the top of his bald head. (705) 673-6513, Ontario (800) 461-4030 or Gregor stood up and stretched, UCF, 68 Scollard Street, Toronto, Ontario MSR IG2, and felt his skin (416) 964-2569, Canada (800) 387-1387, Ontano (800) 387-5603 tighten through- out his body. It felt good.

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22 Thursday November 16,1989. scene

by at the end its Mind of tetherJonathan Stover

The flowers were all over your But these want kill why flowers? Why this to me, to eat No one tells them (Begin tape. Patient #1256474, my stop. what to hands? It's way? stomach. the damned dress, I wish I was a horse, a Session Three.) do. cloud. Yes. The flowers. The print. okay, it's the damned flowers! Because We they hurt me. Down in Good. should over this Good. I think go again. Cheap print dress. Old woman we're

teeth — the my flowers hurt there, Let's talk about You've to see what Okay, okay. got you've screamed once, and then I bit her making progress. and I have to them out. done to be here I get It's something else. Do you have a brought before tongue off. I I hope. hope so. Will the flow- growing out of stomach my into favourite book, a movie can begin to help you get out favourite And how did this make you feel? ers teeth. stop hurting me? My teeth my like? Let's talk like again. I'm here to help you just you... Worse. hurt so much. My teeth hurt more, like do. What is friends I smelled the flowers. That's what growing out of your they were ripping through my I'll make sure you get I did. stomach into your teeth? something gums into my head. The I'm not your friend. to make the hurting go away. headaches keep getting worse. The flower I ate. The sunflower. The And what did they smell like? Then talk Okay? session is over for just about what comes Flowers. in and It's rooted my belly it Do to today. have anything else mind. What soothes you? What you I don't know. Like blood, maybe, Why did do this? you hurts teeth. It wants to see the tell my makes you want to me? you happy to think about, but blood never smells like they Do what? Smell the flowers? sun again. I hate the sun. to talk about? No. No. say in all those books. Coppery -- Whatever did. Why? hate the sun? you Why do you Then that's what but who the I'll see tomorrow. Take they say, Clouds, Clouds and clouds and you

Because I wanted to. Can't a man hell knows what smells I don't hate the The care. copper sun. sun clouds, forever. Galloping across smell flOwers when he wants to? like? It smelled like raw ham- hates me. It burns me, rips my the sky like horses, like the Mmm. I'm Are you saying not a man if I burger going bad, that's what it skin off whenever I The horses go out. I see on TV. I like the like flowers? smelled like. It was all over smelling my flowers. The flowers love it, and horses — they run and run and and hands nose. No. I like smelling too. up my flowers they hate me. That's why they run, and no one ever tells them to (End transcript.)

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starting dates The Cord Weekly scene 23 Thursday November 16, 1989.

Keelaghan couldn't capture Cinema crowd

and But it became more than a show bad - butter never Jeff Heywood, Concert was peanut different an eve- toast is not a bad breakfast or way to spend Review hand snack. But, on the other you ning.

The were strong, the don't head off to school in the songs Peanutbutter and toast. into "God damn, that band was it, and Keelaghan old folk morning saying Thirty year Canadian butter and was comfortable and confident on was great peanut singer James Keelaghan played for He handled such things as toast." The same can be said stage. the Princess Cinema last Wednes- two broken and a the James Keelaghan Trio. strings day night. He left behind him an Keelaghan's entourage, in- temperamental tuner with ease. and evening of fine music a and Bill So why am I so unenthused about Leatherland cluding Gary on guitar definite taste of peanut butter and like "old the show? on bass (who looked an Keelaghan's "sing toast. of the woods" along with Mitch" music class man tree stump Tyler not to that the show. the show That's say carving), delivered a solid midway through might

have had something to do with it. J.

The individual behind me who

to a theatre near the floor Coming you continually pounded Photo: with his foot to some non-existent by Steve Burke alien beat had some- l probably to do with it. But, Garnet the thing James Keelaghan is the latest folk artist to perform in the K-W till them off in the box at . in the answers to the quiz below and drop I Rogers definitely had something the of the Grand River Folk ICord offices by 2:00 Friday. The entry with the most correct answers area under auspices Society. Cinema. this to do with receive a to The Princess Playing | my apathy. jwill year's membership that Garnet Rogers In comparison, Rogers made showmanship iweekend: The Second An imation Celebration. The questions below are | and other performers use so Rogers, who played the Prin- the Keelaghan show seem great the Princess Cinema in November and Decern- • jbased on films playing at cess two weeks knew how to amateur. well. ■ber. ago, - James play his guitar and his audience; While Keelaghan could play As a result the and he take the Prin- he was show sputtered 11.The thriller Dead Calm is reminiscent of what early Roman | managed to bare his guitar expertly, merely Keelaghan fill it with hack with his audience. fell short of what it could have iPolanski film? | cess Cinema and his a Keelaghan lacks the refined been. 12. Who plays the movie star, and the object of Mia Farrow's desires, i presence. Jin Woody Allen's The Purple Rose ofCairo! Success what does the film as a King ■3. From country My Life Dog originate? . near for Apparatus

|4. From whose novel is A Room with a View adapted? Record deal for ska band?

does offer Susan In Sex, Lies and Videotape, what Graham every been their |5. James Neilson, Concert Apparatus played the G&G to a has selling well at itime she visits? numerous gigs throughout Review packed house. Complete this line by Jack Nicholson from Batman: "Never rub an- ,6. 1 Sam Tallo, lead guitarist for Ontario. " 'other man's In the six months the Apparati and a fellow Bur- past King My laundry pile had finally ■7. What late actress starred as a in Miracle on 34th Street? young girl Apparatus have been lingtonian sat down for a Double slowly gotten too big; it was time to go the cover Diamond and filled me in on how replacing songs by home. in |8. What does demonstrate to Billy Crystal a restaurant I Meg Ryan working more original well things had been going. They material Back to Burlington, and When Mel I |in Harry Sallyl into their sets. Some of the for are scheduled to play in the mas- neighbouring Hamilton, a Parenthood and I Shrunk the Kids featured roles what Honey, by | notable include The |9. sive North American Skafest on covers weekend of rest and relaxation. iSCTV alumnus? Clash's and Sunday, November 26 at the Con- "Pressure Drop", Hamilton, home of steel com- artwork lO. The Second Animation Celebration features by Matt . J kick-ass versions of cert Hall. Capitol Records has ska-styled countless strip bars and What cartoon in The Cord Weekly) does panies, jGroening. strip (appearing the band "Runaround Sue" and CCR's Gown and recently approached one decent pub: The draw? iGroening and their "Proud about concerning a record deal Mary". Enough Gavel. Last Saturday night four-song cassette covers though, King Apparatus' Toronto's premier ska band, King independent I Name: Phone: originals are top quality too. I I Lead singer/songwriter Chris or the .In the event that there is more than one set correct answers, a draw will be held by ■ Murray has created some ex- I Scene editor. Results will be posted in the Cord office and in next week's issue. material with cellent songs like

Answers to last week's "Made For On" • quiz: TV", "Hangin'

1. David Bowie 6. Tom Waits and "Five Good Reasons". 2. Phil Collins 7. Bob Geldof A and keyboard player a horn 3. Sting 8. Ron Wood section could do a deal to Gift 9. Cher great ■ 4. Roland round out ska sound 5. Ringo Starr 10. Barbara Streisand their but, overall, they're fairly tight. Last week's winner of a one year membership to the Princess Cine- the I | Even though power went Chris Cornwall |ma: out tor twenty minutes and the dozens of skinheads from Buffalo

wrecked most of my pictures from the glare off their heads, it

all in lingerie was, all, a good time. If you miss the Skafest at the

Concert Hall 6 Erb Street E. next week, don't

Kta - SigMKIF it*7 <•» «> there is a Skinheads abound at the King Apparatus gig in Hamilton over despair good pos- Waterloo WSeOQBSr sibility that they will play Phil's the weekend. Photo: James Neilson. 725"°261 Grandson's Place in the new year.

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AT PHIL'S

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Teddies south of Designer $19.99 reg up to $30.00 King just University The Cord Weekly

24 Thursday November 16,1989. scene

I LET^OIJRH Pure Primitives, sensual

I and humdrum Harris | BE YOUR HOUSE Bush,

from the real of the This second album personification group is Primitives, entitled Pure, has the singer/songwriter/guitarist Paul

in the Court's vocals potential to be as successful Court. backup on

ranks of the independent charts as "Sick of It" (the first single) comple- "IN-SHOP BREWING & WINE how lead. He also ![ their debut, Lovely. Considering ment Tracy's sings lead

crucial second albums are, that is an in "Shine" and "All the Way Down." MAKING AT LESS THAN > All three these accomplishment. of songs are among THE COST OF > 1/2 All twelve tracks on Pure are Pure's best. jE COMMERCIAL | short in length and fairly simple in Court utilizes a neat reverb sound make the which their musical arrangement, but on guitar, is well BRANDS". <

modern bass lines, while drummer music has a clean, snazzy Tig

Williams more than psychedelic appeal, and is at times al- provides ade- there in "Outside" and quate percussion. are most hypnotic, as Although "Shine." no outstanding instrumental solos, the

Pure music itself is what Lead vocalist Tracy Tracy has an really makes album overall. The Primitives soft, voice that Pure a fine THE PROCESS I appropriately dreamy BMG but the • Tom Szeibel | is true to the Primitives' style,

<￿ 1) Choose a brew (there are x friend David After releasing her greatest hits Longtime Gilmour many available). < collection The Whole Story in 1986, it helps out with some heavy guitar 2) Measure your ingredients % work And S appeared that pop's most experimen- on "Love Anger" and other % 3) Bring to a boil in one of our tal include vocals The singer was getting more commer- guest stars by / kettles y cial. The Trio qne new song on the Bulgarka, Davey Spillane on 4) Arrange a bottling time < had Uillean and time: release, "Experiment IV", a very Pipes, some inspired or- Elapsed (1 through 4) y % contemporary feel. chestral sections. approx one hour > But The Sensual World The of the album is brew dispelled highlight un- <￿ 5) Bottle your Elapsed all of reservations. on the solo track "This i* time: 45 minutes v my Every song doubtedly the record has something different in Woman'sWork". Previously featured

it."The Sensual World", inspired by in the film She's Having A Baby, the

James Joyces "Ulysses", is a dream- beautiful piece features Bush's like odyssey through sexuality; angelic vocals backed by light piano

be "Walk Straight Down the Middle" accompaniment. You can sure to

vocals the hear more of this soon. The Sensual World has beautiful recalling ex- song Each of Kate Bush's albums take Kate Bush perimentation of earlier work like "Sat In Your Lap". longer and longer to complete but Capitol Records The album also yields some od- each one gets better. If the current It's been four years since the last trend her release will dities even for Bush. Out" continues, next from British Kate "Reaching 885 LP songstress anthem that be one closer is a powerful seems step to perfection. | | Bush, but The Sensual World is well very out of in Bush's - Tony Burke worth the long wait. place repertoire

I -BREW | former quickly gaining barrage of ephemeral echoes and recognition

"one harmonies. There's lot of ambience for of those extremely rare, a of thoroughly-original voices", accord- in the album, with all sorts fleet- < For Words to the record's release. multi-layered effects to play < ing press ing, Years with * Our It is true'that his voice is unique, funny games your stereo

I ONTARIO m I and does merit him member- speakers, yet Hugh perhaps nothing particularly ship in league with Otis Redding, A 1 memorableabout the songs. Harris Green, Prince and Roland Gift, but I Harris' lyrics aren't exceptionally Capitol it. He and the music isn't 104 just don't like sounds a lot like insightful, espe- Records Terence Trent I | yet sings con- cially gripping or daring. suppose D'arby,

stantly, without taking breaks to the songs would make good videos

Unit D > which be kind of for that Mushmusic Northland Dr., breathe, can annoy- weepy program;

ing if you don't like his voice. nothing special, nothing bad, just an Waterloo «; of for j Harris becomes partly a victim average assortment quick con-

in Words For Our Years is the the production process many sumption.

tracks, with his voice lost in a - Steve Burke debut album from Hugh Harris, a per- getting

Essoys? Term Papers? LI N ES? Extended Family Benefits DEAD

will be available at a cost DON'T SWEAT IT !!

Of turnaround $50. Go to SPEEDY, 24 hr. Forms are available at the TYPING SERVICES WLUSU offices booth At the info

Out of control?! ipqnnN • uutil|(JlN 1 a bit CRAZY??

Where's the only place you can REALLY put your feet up??

11 ™—l *-'"** IB ™— mmmmi■■■■■■MMMHMhhb■■■ ■■"■■*■■■■■^^■■ BBB^■■■■■■*■■■■■■mmmamm The Cord Weekly

25 Thursday November 16, 1989. ozymandias

The Rose in the Gutter Nothing

A happy young couple What if Christ was to come Glide down the crowded street, again?

- what earth would he Bathed in the light on say? about the world he did die for? Of lamp-post beacons,

- about the world he saved? Sailing past the Floundering hulks of people, fall the centre cannot hold On a wave of love. Things apart;

- notice it while the you warmth within you

of wind rushes to a cold - A strong gust "Better watch what and listen to Plucks - the radiant rose you're saying From her heaving breast. thoughts of all men"

- with pulse in veins as The couple sail on every your you're

to Bethlehem - Undaunted - into the night pointing

All of this was for nothing; it should have meant something

fall the centre cannot hold The rose in the gutter Things apart; Lies soaking in a dream trance of dance Gasoline-choked water, an agony of flame that can't hand. Amid rotting cigarette butts an agony singe your With in veins And decayed apple cores. every pulse your (as you're pointing to Bethlehem)

needs of Its scarlet petals all one is a handful mournful melodies

Still radiant and firm - Dave Flitton Shine in the sunlight; The sweet-smelling perfume Cuts through the gutter-odours, To reach free, Reflections

Clean air above.

John A. R. Macdonald Quiet beach, Photography: Liza Sardi rising sun, The two awake side by side; The sun's dance rays upon the stones, Fortissimo Washed ashore tides. Are you an artist? A poet? A by gentle

Build photographer? up your A delicate breeze The sky ripped wide. licks playfully at sand castles portfolio by having your work Left behind by laughing children; displayed here, on the Scene's crab walks Over fields not browned by summer's suns, Lazy through the foam off art page. Merely drop your As it turns Twilight came thundering down. up jewels by the million. submissions in the luxurious This hailstorm of light and third-born fire, Cord offices located in the heart before the Life turned on end Early morning crowds of the Watson/Hand Centre for And ended. The sky and the sea unite; Habitual Draft Chugging and Remembering the ties they form Centre into the Weakest fire of all, Campus hands With dazzling stars at night. of Burke. Child of the mourning star. ye editor, Tony The Not the birth-cry of this chess-board universe, seagulls soar, liberated The Not the shock of individuality exploding within the oceans roar, The crabs all soul, claw for cover; Voices heard the But this thing, this joke, upon dunes bastard the like other. This clockwork sun. Begin day every

the birth of the the Demiurge, deputy of third sun, Patiently, ocean waits, Said The sun treks its journey of light; of I am become death, the shatterer worlds, Together they wait for the mystical time Packed his and walked. When shall into up bags they marry night.

Would that we could do the same. Keri Downs

Wizard of the mathematical of the spaces, godfather mourning

star,

Wrote

Had I known, I would have been a watchmaker instead.

But for that act did more good than evil.

Would that we could do the same.

fat We have seen your face before, little man, boy, demon cloud

When we looked outside our caves,

Where millions died breathing foulness.

Where ever we forget ourselves,

When ever the light fails, and we are left in the dark.

Guardian of the farther realms, fierce protector of lambs, Arose

his threw into wide and Broke you over knee, you out the deep

expanses,

Wept your work to see.

Would that we could do the same.

Jerry Cornelius Photography: Tony Burke DM) S-S-MOM m WW

~

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- The Cord Weekly

27 Thursday November 16, 1989. SPORTS

Lady Hawks fall short in CIAU final

had the defense. Anakin that the By Brian Owen experience on Bridget scored on a net and were stymied by a her Nevertheless, in spite of their faced 11 free Cord Weekly Sometimes we players kick 30 yards in the first half very talented play. skilled performance, which had

inside the 18 yard box. The girls out to give Acadia the Laurier controlled from the even the biased victory. Acadia supporters

CIAU Finals found it difficult to against Laurier had more than their kick off and held play opening posses- impressed, the Lady Hawks fell Acadia University that." remarked coach Syed share of scoring sion for three of 1-0 opportunities. nearly quarters to a relieved Acadia team.

Nova Scotia Mohammed. "But we were the Shots that found the the The Hawk mid Wolfville, normally game. Lady Helen Stoumbos was

Some all only team to penetrate their back of the net went wide. That fielders and forwards say good things pressed rewarded with the Player of the

defense." He went on to became the difference in the into the Axette must eventually come to an end, say. continually zone, Game for Laurier. Her talented Then the fiftieth of others that it's not whether at minute game. Loreen Paulo and Tanya giving their defenders trouble say performance at the striker posi-

win or it's Alberta went ahead by two Rusynyk the Acadia time you lose, how you play play, peppered every they brought the ball tion earned her the post game but couldn't the game. Well, the 1989-90 edi- goals after a powerful shot hit the keeper put the ball in in. award.

tion of the Lady Soccer Hawks cross bar and bounced in front of

be buried experienced both as they played Haanepan only to into

the of the net their last games of the season top by Panda Sheryl

over the weekend in the CIAU Ferry. Alberta scored its final

Women's Soccer Finals at Acadia marker at the seventieth minute

when University. a another loose ball inside

The team flew to Nova Scotia the six yard box found net as

last the four Yvonne Thursday for day Abrioti chipped an easy

championship event. Joining ball over Haanepan. of Al- A them were the University late surge by the Lady berta, McGill University and host Hawks nearly brought them

Acadia University, to decide the within two goals of the Pandas.

best Un- team in the country. Striker Kelly Konstantinou won a

fortunately, the season ended on loose ball 30 yards out from the

somewhat of a disappointing note Alberta keeper Cathy Mac-

for Donald. She kicked the Lady Hawks. After last the ball past

week's triumphant reward of the MacDonald, sprinted for the open and fired OWIAA crown, they lost their ground a weak shot to the two games to finish fourth best in open goal. But a charging de- fender the shut the country. preserved out as

she cleared the ball as it was "It was very disappointing just

about to cross the goal line. For- that we didn't play better this ward Loreen Paulo had weekend. We didn't play well at also a

chance to score as she cracked a all against Alberta but we were

shot to the of happy that we did have a good blistering high top the net. However, the heroics of game against Acadia." said all- MacDonald saved the ball Canadian mid fielder and veteran from the she Heather Purdy, who played her finding range as leaped high into the air to direct last game in the Laurier purple and gold. Laurier's attempt over the net. Even the Pandas They were extremely though

enthusiastic about representing notched three against Haanepan, the Laurier brilliant Ontario in the National tourna- keeper was

ment the throughout the In the first and even enjoyed sup- game.

an Alberta mid fielder port of other coaches in their divi- half, CIAU action: The Hawks in the it the a loose ball at the Lady played national over sion. However, was strong picked up championship

of Pandas twelve yard mark and cracked it. the weekend but University Alberta that unfortunately lost both games they played in. In this With took honours as they defeated a diving save, Haanepan top scramble in front of the Acadia goal mid fielder Heather Purdy and froward McGill 3-1 in the gold medal magnificently stopped the at- Loreen Paulo watch as the ball sails the match. Acadia captured the tempt, to the delight of the crowd. over net and out of the picture. She also blocked another ball bronze as they edged Laurier ir

destined for the back net the consolation game on Sunday when it

was careened off Albertan 1-0. an player's head. Alberta 3 LAURIER 0 Forward Helen Stoumbos said A farewell to Victor Laurier dropped their opening Davis "We were too wound up about day match 3-0 to Alberta on Sat- Stover our first year in the Nationals and Jon urday. The weather was perfect Cord weren't motivated to play our Weekly for soccer but even good weather best. I guess we felt being the couldn't save the Lady Hawks. Ontario I remember the summer of when Canada cleaned in champions was good 1984, up Olympic medals like it never had before, Nerves and apprehension beat the enough". and probably never will again. OWIAA champions. The mag- Nina There the twin of Orescanin captured the were disappointments Willie de Wit's and Sean O'Sullivan's silvers, the last nitude of the event shook the really Player of the Game for Laurier. robbed of the gold, the CTV announcer "This is shouting bloody damned nonsense!" when the win was young team off their usually Her solid awarded to American Frank Tate. There play at sweeper an- was the wonderful British decathlete Daley Thompson, easily strong game. First year defender chored the meatball whose Hawk's defense. outperforming some Aryan name now me win the - Debbie Callow from Aurora, Ont. Lady escapes to gold it's not a Canadian All of but it is the girls expressed dis- memory, an important one. noted that the trip to the Nationals

appointment that didn't And I remember our swimmers, Alec they play especially Baumann and Victor Davis. Baumann was the kid was certainly a great experience good

as well - the who like as they could have. It just guy swam a dream and ended commercials. but seemed to adversely influence up doing egg Clean-cut, Apollonian. Davis wasn't the Hawks was the hellraiser, the who had in trouble the the Lady day. guy gotten at the Commonwealth for being mad at play of team. "We were a games He was the firebrand who is the losing. always who in trouble - and the little bit nervous and I think that necessary, guy gets who ACADIA 1 LAURIER 0 guy does more than else to fire his teammates. affected us. It's not often that anyone up you The better team didn't win It's Davis' silver medal those I to in performance at Olympics that remember better. That was the heroic get play your first year in the this The per- game. Lady Hawks were formance - the one that summed Davis' Nationals. I for probably up career. Because Davis often drifted in his heats and just can't wait more relaxed and definitely had a quarter-finals, he almost didn't for the And when next will qualify quarter-finals. he reached the finals, he missed year though, we better outing. Unfortunately, they the gold by a whisker (or so I remember) because he had himself in such definitely be better prepared." didn't win. gotten placed a lousy lane. They played a highly He made it But never the silver-medal - Alberta scored from 25 easy. charge well, that's what I remember about Victor Davis. yards controlled style of soccer on the Even if that memory is somewhat faulty, I think it deserves enshrinement in the out on a shot that whistled over Canadian psyche, some ground and won most of the balls. where where it can and shine. Like Babe Ruth's called glint home run, the truth of it makes Keeper Mathilda Haanepan's out- The smaller size of the Acadia the facts ir- relevant. stretched arms to the team open game meant that the game was not F. Scott Fitzgerald once wrote "Show hero and I'll at 1-0. Laurier the me a write you a tragedy." But there's was winning as physical as that against Al- nothing tragic about Davis' end, only the abstract of a universe that of stupidity doesn't give a damn. Victor Davis wasn't majority the balls but couldn't berta, making it easier for Laurier

supposed die this — find their to way but, then, who is. Ruth, eaten by could least game inside the 18 yard to play quick touches with the away cancer, at write his own epitaph, to a friend "I'm Joe, I'm Davis box. Time saying done, gone." didn't even that. and time again they ball. They clearly dominated and get Wherever Victor Davis is, I he's asshole. I were hope being an hope he's over chairs and stymied by an aggressive weren't getting pushed off the kicking getting drunk and saving his best performance for when the whole of ball as crowd's watching and everything's on the line. corps Alberta defenders who was often the case against flooded In pace most assuredly do not requiescat. the area. "They (Alberta) Alberta. But it was Axette The Cord Weekly

28 Thursday November 16, 1989."

Naismith shows what Basketball Hawks need

By Bruno Rukavina scored 11 18, Steve Duncan with 15 and of his shadow, Saul of U of T coach Ken Olynyk that's a credit to great our guys. Cord Weekly 14. his 28 in the final 4:23 the Hawks and conceded We didn't Danny Deep with points to praised play as well as in the U The Men's Basketball that team lead the U of T attack. we should have won the of T Deep game but we fought back continued their punishing fouled minute after Needless Coach Jef- pre- U of T 95 WLU92 out a Tone game. to say well." He added that weekend season schedule last week with and the Hawks looked fries was of his team but to be in proud tournaments do not really suit the three the worried about how tough games. Although The big trouble. What had been a 15 was Hawks opening game of the they high-flying style of play. lost all would the team three, they are not lead had dwindled to 2 play next day against a "It takes Naismith tournament at Waterloo point really a lot out of our

down at the A.C. as the McGill hanging when Saul hit a 3 shot with squad. was outstanding for the Hawks in point scrappy guys and to ask them to do that is be team proving to very com- 3:08 to Marcotullio refused all ways but one, they lost. U of T go. to McGill 93 WLU 79 twice within 24 hours is really petitive. Any team that loses three let the Hawks die and his are the defending OUAA champs key difficult. What we're getting in a week is usually play- and in games and with most of their players jump-shot subsequent lay-up The Hawks got down early ready for is the regular-season

but this is not the case ing poorly, back look be of the put the Hawks up 6 with 2:14 to this game and trailed consistently when will be they to one we playing twice a with the Hawks. On the Hoop It was not to be however as he 15 The to its top five teams in the CIAU. The go. by points. team, week." the team contrary, only played Hawks did not let this fact deter too fouled out with 1:25 to and did not fade like the go credit, away The Hawks may not be win- in of the and badly one games them however and the Hawks by only 2 points. A Hawks of old and put together but difficult responded by up ning, playing a pre- should be quite proud of the ef- 3 inspired basketball. The point shot by Saul with :20 sec- runs at McGill. It cut the season schedule is playing many good prepara- forts it forth in the other put two. onds left of its first McGill lead from 15 6 or 8 team took it to U of T in the first gave U T lead to tion for the tough OUAA West of the Two few times in the 2nd half and led by 14, 53-39 at game 93-92. free points a half schedule ahead in January. Jef- 120 72 ESTONIA WLU halftime. Offensively WLU throws completed the for but the well-coached McGill scoring fries adds, "We don't want to get

team basketball U of T as won 95-92. on Hawk played great they squad capitalized comfortable losing, our goal is to Last Wednesday Estonia paid while defensively they continual- All in all the Hawks defensive lapses to extend the played win, if we keep displaying the visit the A.C. the Hawks a to as ly frustrated U of T. The only shooting 50% for the lead. The 14 point loss was not great, game positive improvement we have opened their home schedule. was that the team and 9 of 21 3 indicative as the Hawks battled negative piled hitting on point shown, we will be in the position Estonia is club team from lot of fouls in the shots. fouls McGill after down up a bottling up Unfortunately cost evenly being to win."

Toronto that features many for- U of T attack. Deep, Tony Mar- them Hawks early. Marcotullio and Deep the game as 5 fouled mer and current National team cotullio and Dave Kleuskens had for the out. Turnovers played a big part played outstanding games Needless the players. to 3 fouls each at half. ACTION - say as well, as WLU threw the ball Hawks netting 23 and 22 points NEXT AT SIENA

Hawks were expected to lose this The Hawks continued their respectively. HEIGHTS-MICHIGAN away 28 times. High scorers were one. The was overmatched in second Coach team strong effort the half Alessio with 23 while Tone, Deep Jeffries said, "We TOURNAMENT in both and talent but to and when Alessio 3 FRIDAY AT height completed a and Kleuskens added 14 apiece. could have quit but we didn't and 8:00pm it off they played poorly. In- top point play with 7:30 to go the timidation a as the played big part Hawks looked safe with a 15

Hawks had trouble getting off lead. U of T called time- point a Lady Hawks soar in Invitational good shot This resulted attempts. out and came out charging. Foul in the team for the LAURENTIAN shooting 25% trouble became a factor as 68 LAURIER LAURIER 62 LAKEHEAD 46 big By Jeff Dragich game, an unacceptable figure. Hawks 37 Laurier well began fouling out during Cord Weekly continued to play The the Hawks could do powerful Lady Vees were Defensively the U of T the over the weekend. surge. Perhaps key The Lady Hawks' basketball Sunday, they just too much for the Hawks litde as Estonia scored al- Lady players moment of the occurred faced Laurentian, a division game team took second place over the rival. on Friday night. Laurier was most at will. Little else should be when Tone The Hawks in Ray fouled out with weekend at the Laurentian Invita- put a strong said this call it learn- coming off a ten day layoff and about one, a 4:23 to Tone had defensive performance, play. effectively tional Tournament in Sudbury. holding had spent most of the day travell- ing experience. Leading Hawk shadowed U of T the sharpshooter Laurier finished with a 2-1 record experienced Lady ing. According to Lindley, scorers were Mike Alessio with Nick Saul the whole Free Nor'westers to only 23 points game. in the four team event, losing to Laurentian was a very strong each half. Dykstra had 14 points, the host Laurentian, and defeating and in team a class by them- Concordia and Lakehead. Dana Perry and Janice Field

selves. Sue Little had a 19 point

effort for Laurier.

LAURIER 65 CONCORDIA 39

The Lady Hawks bounced

back from their loss with a strong performance against Concordia

on Saturday. Laurier held a slim

24-22 lead at half time. They

came out strong in the second

in half with a 20-4 run of points the first eight minutes that Head Sue in for Coach Lindley was chipped 13 and 12 points eventually decided the outcome enthusiastic about the Hawks' respectively. of the game. Lindley was pleased performance over the weekend. with the intensity and desire her EXTRA "We are really playing together as POINTS: The Lady team displayed."We came out a unit on the court. If someone Hawks now boast a 5-2 like gangbusters in the second pre- gets beat on defense, we rotate season record. Their next action half," she said. "We really took it

well and out. And on of- is in Montreal this weekend as help to them." Renata Dykstra ac- fense, we're the in the spreading scor- counted for 20 of Laurier's 65 they partake eight team

ing around. is a Concordia Invitational Tourna- Everyone making points. Little added 12 and 8 contribution." ment. rebounds.

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29 Thursday November 16, 1989. It was a season to forget for the Lads

By Stephan Latour should be considered as well in London and scouting for the some of the OUAA all-stars, Barry's comment summarized

Men's Soccer since their London CSL franchise. Both Commentary they made presence namely Joe Formica, Mario Hal- well stating that "it was a farce". the brink of This year's edition of the soc- felt. Many others disappointed were at getting ulcers pir, Lyndon Hooper, Roy When Canadian players, such as

cer Hawks was the most unpre- overall, for they could only illu- at times, during this frustrating Abraham, and Peter Gilfillian. Lyndon Hooper and Peter Gilfil- dictable in minate know what lot years. The eleven games briefly. Coach season, yet they to ex- They had a magnificent career lan bow out to Laurentian seemed to walk along the cliffs now and ac- new of Barry though must have been pect by they'll adjust but its time to infuse some players, I conclude that CIAU

Dover all season. No one knew with the reincarnation of blood into the As for pleased cordingly. program. politics need a boot in the rear from whether they would fall over or the good wholesome blue-collar Departing the team, are the CIAU selection, coach end. end. when triumph in the After their soccer, some hard working semi-final loss at the CIAU's, industrial players, such a Darren they ended up with nothing in McLeod, Jimmy Hoye, Steve St. shows no at CIAU's their with the of hands, exception Howard, and the sizzling goalie Mary's mercy Ferd Krauss joined the line-up

during the play-off drive. By Stephan Latour

Cord As for the rookies, one can Weekly

only admire their patience. They CIAU semi-final

showed some remarkable charac- St-Mary's4 Laurier 0 in ter staying on, and what they This match was to be a mere hurdle on the road to the final, however it proved to be lethal reality. The lacked in skill and experience, Hawks in the 2nd minute Joe beat come out flying; Formica the defense superbly, yet he failed to slip the they made up in sheer determina- ball the into the his past keeper net, as shot went wide. A few minutes later, Roy Abraham unleashed a tion. Damien Clamp, Ben

free kick that sailed over the crossbar. This all the just was for Hawks, the opening flame diminished to a Umpleby, and Ben Cameron got little the for spark, opening gates ST-Mary's. They showed no capitalizing on some in on the show. The remainder mercy, sloppy defense in the 11th minute for the go-ahead goal. showed some promise, yet will After the Laurier added the and the have to their half, ailing Hooper an extra forward, yet was answered with prove worth in the pressure break goals. Coach in his last stand, was "We future, until then, hard work will away Barry, disappointed; played o.k. in the first half, yet

the longer the game progressed, the more we stunk." Indeed this was his third to the CIAU's bring the necessary improvement. trip and the third failure, and the sentiments indicate that it is time a remarkable show of character. Also to move on after 11 seasons and a win-loss-tie among the newcomers, From the inaugural kick-off, the record of 99-28-23. were coaches Tony Lea and Dr. Hawk eleven stacked were with Peter Russell, the former coming some big and unlike names, last fresh of the boat from Wales, and they stayed clear of the in- year, the latter coaching a highschool until sentiments firmary the play-offs. The Wading through big-names couldn't convince ful- ly. They either lacked unity, ( from all those line-up shuffles ) of a season or they lacked a balance. Skill glorified and style tried all too often to dominate when aggressiveness CIAU and OWIAA all-star and a good wholesome appetite Purdy would have done. Stoumbos OWIAA all-star However, one should not deny those worthy of praise. OWIAA final here Laurier and continue By Brian Owen at pro- Biology, plans to

Lyndon Hooper, Peter Gilfillan, Editor's Chair vided action her education at another univer- From the comparable to any

Darin Thompson were the most other men's sports final. sity. consistant, forming the nucleus of Let for me get sentimental a Women's soccer has improved Thank the team. The forceful Joe you Lady Soccer minute. After watching the Lady immensely in the few years that it Hawks for Formica and Mario Halipir providing me with Hawks for nearly three years at has been offered as a varsity sport hours of entertainment. It has Bechtel Park, I was finally at Laurier. Now with a national been all pleasure the fortunate enough to watch them final visit under their belts, the my watching team for the three vie for the national title in Halifax past years. I whole program can only improve. wish you all the best in the future. over the weekend. To my regret, Another thing that became

and I sad- Hats off to the women's soccer We offer a university theirs of course, was evident to me as I travelled with program. dened by the fact that they didn't the team this weekend was the education and a bring home the hardware. They personality of the girls. Each and The Hawks two could have won it had is Lady placed all, they every one of them extremely is still the Ontario all-star to make the the potential but the team friendly and personable. Discuss- on soccer career and needs some team this year. Forward Helen young experi- ing the games and getting to Stoumbos and mid fielder ence. know a little bit about each player Heather took the most of it. They had a remarkable season was a pleasure. I even learned Purdy top

honours in an outstanding season though and shouldn't feel how to eat a lobster properly from

for Laurier. was also Ask about the CanadianFoices ashamed in any way they lost a native Maritimer on the team. Purdy

the CIAU selected to the second team CIAU their two games at Back up keeper and first year stu- Officer Plan all-Canadian team. This is the Regular Training It was first Gina showed the Finals. their national dent Jones me first that she has been for Men and Women. appearance and they did extreme- finer points of cracking and year the selected as All-Canadian. ly well under circumstances. devouring a cannery lobster.

• have education for the Canadian Forces at One Stoumbos, a first student your paid by A national title takes time. Anyway, I'll stop here before year

a Canadian or a mutually selected from received the award military college only has to remember last year I drown myself in sentimental Guelph, Canadian acceptance. for her brilliant the for- university upon when the team got to the OWIAA gibberish. Winning the Ontario play on

• receive a income, tuition, books and supplies, dental but lost. This has ward and in the midfield lines. good playoffs year they crown put women's soccer on known and health care and a month'svacation it training victorious. She is for her acute ball your were They were also the proverbial map for Laurier. schedule allows. control and bursts of forced to contend with several in- The work coach Syed quick speed

• choose that give defenders fits inside the from a large selection of lst-year programs. juries to key players, like the Mohammed has done in recruit-

box. A to coach • the number of men's coach the huge asset Syed have opportunity to participate in a sporting team, leaving Syed ing for program is highly Mohammed the of his Mohammed this Stoumbos and cultural activities. at mercy commendable. Since the incep- year,

and not able to will return next year to lead the • and young players tion of soccer five at on graduation, be commissioned as an officer begin years ago field the he wanted. Several Hawks on to another berth work team the team has risen to the Lady in your chosen field. Laurier, in first girls who had to fill in, of the and the Nationals. year top circuit now is well who five Choose played under and a Purdy, played years a Career, pressure respected as perennial power for and is from gave Mohammed the confidence house. Mohammed has been the Lady Hawks Live the Adventure. for but lacked the North next year, big largely responsible for this feat. Bay, solidified a young No fault defense for For more information ""s""™ familiarity. of their In his Laurier this She on plans, entry requirements game three years as head coach, year. and nearest opportunities, visit the recruiting centre own. consistently provided the Lady fly he has brought the team from a

you or call collect — we're in the Yellow Pages™ But to horses in mid- Hawks with change fifth place Ontario ranking to a strong defensive play under I Recruiting. TM stream for moment I must finish this and seldom made mistakes. A really first place year. How- admit I I would leader the it never thought en- ever, coach Mohammed will have on field, was very

women's that joy watching soccer as to fill the shoes of several rare Purdy was caught out of for the much as I have. The games are veterans who are leaving the team position. Unfortunately

and the are Lady Hawks, has finished exciting players fully through graduation. Fifth year Purdy

capable of playing highly skilled player and defensive stalwart her playing days at Laurier as she

soccer with an on Heather is will her Masters in His- emphasis Purdy moving on. The complete REGULAR AND RESERVE Canada in proper field etiquette. Even from ever-consistent Leslie Leader is tory degree the spring. point a spectators of view, the leaving Laurier with a degree in The Cord Weekly

30 Thursday November 16,1989.

New rules make volleyball match a nailbiter

to tie the match. "The were aggressive as they pulled one guys guts this out. sor. The win the Hawk's By Chris Dodd puts and seemed to gain confidence as record to 1-2 with Cord Weekly things This they went along" said Davis. "It OUTSIDE HITS: The Hawks set the stage for an ex- seemingly coming together.

was a effort". into action fifth The Hawks great team The swing Tuesday against McMaster is in town The Golden Hawks Men's hilarating game. tomorrow in team displayed a lot of heart and an erratic Lancer squad Wind- Game time were down 9-3 in the see- night. is 8 o'clock. Volleyball team was in action early

saw and looked to be in against the Guelph Gryphons Fri- game, day night in the A.C. The result desperation. However, the team RPI Hawks confidence turned their play a notch and was a thrilling come from behind up tourney gives Lady tied the at 14-14. The victory. The gutsy Hawks squad game

crowd then went into a erased a two-games-to-nothing frenzy. By Heather Purdy deficit, snatching victory from the After two points were exchanged, Cord Weekly the became tied 16-16. jaws of defeat. game at

Under the new rules that were Last the Hawks their second of the Tuesday, Lady volleyball team played league game season in Guelph "We really didn't play well in the OUAA last adopted by year, against the Gryphons, and after a disappointing performance came out on the wrong end of a 3-1 loss. All the first two games" said assistant for the it was now game point both four of the games were close, with the first two going to Guelph, third to Laurier, and the fourth and coach Steve Davis, who was fill- and teams, points could be scored on final game to Guelph. The scores in this match were 15-12, 15-13, 9-15 15-12, and had the Hawks ing in for head coach Don Smith. side out. Exuberance rose through played to their potential, the results could have been much different. "We started out alright then we with the gymnasium as the Hawks put On the weekend, however, the team came up a much-improved performance in a tournament at seemed to hit a lull where we the last for an elec- Institute, facing a couple of the tougher teams in Ontario and home with away point Ryerson Polytechnical coming a lacked enthusiasm." trifying 17-16 victory, taking the respectable third place finish. In the first the Hawks faced the of Toronto the match 3 games to 2. game, always tough University Blues, taking first game but second "The losing the following three, all of them close fought. The game saw the women facing the guys were aggressive Gryphons again, and again turning in a performance that was less than adequate in another 3-1 loss. and seemed to gain con- Bruce McGregor came off the was another and again the Hawks were frustrated a 3-1 al- bench add the the Hawks Queen's University powerhouse, by score, fidence as they went to spark this time their solid and took the first from "Bruce though performance was they again game a powerful op- needed in the third game. along." The ponent. result of the final game in Saturday's round robin play was no surprise, as Laurier faced had some key hits that got us out perennial doormat Ryerson and easily defeated them in three of some tight spots" said Davis. games. After a grueling Saturday the team returned to Toronto on Sunday to vie with Guelph and Ryerson for Also turning in a stellar per- first in the Hawks The Hawks lost the Ten- third place the tournament. Again Lady had no difficulty in putting away Ryerson three formance was setter Greg 15- the make short of the 15-10 and the second and after that team came out smoking to work Gryphons. game nyson, who played his best match straight, warmup, They of in three of 15-3 and and 12. Davis saw that the team was tasted as they disposed Guelph games, by scores 15-6, 15-10, proved of the young season. Andrew revenge

trouble and called a time out in that are more than a match for the Gryphons. in Reed also contributed with three they

an ounce of Laura Cooke turned in her usual performance for Laurier on the weekend and was rewarded with an attempt to instill key stuff blocks to knot the final strong Another whose enthusiasm in the The a spot on the tournamentAll-Star team. player play was noteworthy was rookie Tammy squad. game at 14 points each. Hawks seemed to respond to his Riley, who was especially strong in the back court defense. The Hawks face of in the week. host the Western this advice as they came out flying, The team was blessed with a Lady a couple tough teams coming They Mustangs

8:00 the in a that will be broadcasted Hamilton's CHCH TV their "Game dominating the next game with a large crowd on Friday. "The evening at at A.C., game by as Hawks for crowd home 15-4 victory. The fourth game crowd helped alot, especially in of the Week", and the are hoping a substantial for their opener. This Saturday, the

difficult team will be the road to Windsor to face the one of the teams in the proved to be a more the third game when we needed making long trip Lancers, tougher 15-11 situation, managing a win them", remarked Davis. OWIAA West.

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31 Thursday November 16, 1989.

Is there a reason for Maple Leaf lunacy ?

before last little talent A ting forth the name of a more season. By com- God-given as scan of statistics current at By Rob Brown anyone in the time show of the "C". parison, Ramage has played on league), Ramage has been that Ramage has Gord Weekly worthy recipient press somewhat of In few than No, I'm not about to jump on teams with winning records in an enigma. 1979, a more points Marsh, a

the Wendel Clark only three of his ten tours of was the first huge exists in plus/minus Why is Rob Ramage the cap- bandwagon. duty Ramage player gap

in- in the NHL. chosen in the NHL statistics. While is a rath- lain of the Toronto Maple Leafs? While Clark is certainly an Granted, Ramage has entry draft, Ramage

he a to his ahead of the likes of er -2, Marsh I pondered this question last night spirational player, hasn't Stanley Cup ring credit, Raymond undistinguished

durable but his teams have stands at +8, an feat for while I should have been study- proven himself to be averaged only Bourque, Michel Goulet, Mike amazing

mid-term there's a better 31 wins while Marsh Gartner and Mats all a Torontorearguard. ing for a exam. enough. Besides, per season, Naslund, of candidate. and his teammates in Atlanta, whom have had dis- Many would quickly state that more Marsh is obviously a favourite Brad Marsh. and is a winner," paraphras- That's right, Calgary, Philadelphia tinguished careers than Ramage. "Ramage with the fans and media. More Marsh. In Toronto im- ing Harold Ballard's words when Charles Bradley his have averaged an Ramage also racks rather up important, however, is his named late eleven NHL Marsh had 42. numbers for Ramage was captain seasons, pressive large penalty minute popularity with his teammates, team While Marsh this summer. The intent here will never played on a losing un- continually someone who rarely drops his coaches and officials around the til he the Leafs overachieves has about be to dispel that myth, while was picked up by (he as gloves. This putting put- suggests league. your team in a shorthanded situa-

tion Brad Marsh for I'll too many times. Ramage is captain.

also notorious for his Zorro-like pass it on to Harold. Maybe he'll

it's Hawks theWeek of stick work around the league. listen, or maybe my lucky Please, not another Brad Max- day: I might just get banned from

well. the Gardens.

Badminton Hawks aren't birdies

Special to the Cord

The Athletic for Complex was scene many fine badminton players

over the weekend as Laurier hosted the West Sectional Badminton

Tournament. Western, Waterloo, McMaster and Ryerson were also

on hand to partake in the day long event.

Our own men's team won six of their matches that included four

and two doubles victories. singles The women's contribution was

won equally impressive. They two singles and one doubles match. Coach Chris Fazackerly was extremely pleased with the performance

ANDREW REED(VOLLEYBALL) of the team and had thought they played their best badminton ever. RENATA DYKSTRA (BASKETBALL) Laurier's men's seed The second year middle top Arron Pal was victorious in his matches. A fourth year forward from He defeated blocker from Stratford Central his opponents on two of his four singles matches against Dunnville, Dykstra was named an and McMaster. High played an outstanding game Ryerson Collen McClelland also beat his Ryerson and all-star last weekend at the McMaster last Friday in the come from be- counterparts two out of four. Russ Wong and Theo Laurentian Invitational in Sud- Daridaa also had in hind win over the Guelph strong outings their games. She bury. was the team's leading On the women's Jeane Gryphons. The 6'6"honours busi- side, Raycraft won her singles match scorer in the tourney with 40 Waterloo. ness student was successful in all against Tammy Sachs played soundly in her matches. points and grabbed 15 rebounds Karen and of his 21 service attempt, regis- Rookies Ashby Martha Carson also impressed coach as the hawks Lady captured sil- tered kills and Fazackerly who all of the 13 a team high 8 thought players were mentally prepared for ver. blocks. the weekend.

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32 Thursday November 16,1989.

UQTR, Ottawa latest prey for Hawkey Hawks

Leslie Lamers By Hawks played a Ottawa consistently 3 LAURIER 6 Ottawa. Ottawa proved to be one both sides. Cord Weekly strong game, killing penalties of the more challenging teams. In the first two minutes of successfully throughout. Choma The UQTR Patriotes presented Having played Waterloo Saturday play, Choma took a long shot was named second star, and a true challenge for the Hawks night, both teams were left in the from the blue line, scoring the 2 UQTR LAURIER 6 the unbeaten By water's late goal and unfailing but string continued same physical situation of second first goal. Less than a minute later play earned him third. Sunday when the Hawks played day play. Fatigue was evident on Maurice found the open cage The Hawkey Hawks' winning making it 2-0 Hawks. The Gee's streak continued over the back with came a mid-period goal weekend, beginning Saturday followed by an accurate shot by night with a 6-2 victory over a Dan Rintche. Rintche played a strong UQTR team. Les Patriotes hardworking and determined presented a unique challenge, ex- game. Bywater added a 4th goal, erting a fast, and physical style of 4-1 in leaving the game favour of hockey. the Hawkey Hawks at the end of Pin-point passing and aggres- the first period. sive offensive style earned Les

Patriots 2 goals in the first period. Their offensive began in the Golden Hawks Mike Maurice and second frame as the Hawks

Choma started Pete assisted Greg poor on their strengths, Puhalski in late a period goal, strong on skating and passing.

making the first period score 2-1 Tom Jackson scored their second

UQTR. Taking the offensive, the goal with assists going to lan

1 Hawks aggressive pursuit led to a Dobrindt and Dan Rintche.

turn around in play from the 17 The Gee's then scored minute mark onward. a goal

at the 3 minute mark, even Responding well in the second though the was out of reach frame, Peter Hellstrom closed the game this time. However, it the 2-2. by was gap, tying game Strong once the play of Brent physical play continued along again Bywater that came through for with a well placed goal by the Hawks. Bywater scooped the Choma late in the second period. puck from behind the net to feed With the advice of the crowd,

Maurice who made no mistake game officials ejected UQTR the in the net for coach Clement Jodoin for his depositing puck

a 6-3 Hawks final. consistent badgering.

With Laurier leading in the Coach Wayne Gowing had

second period 3-2, Mark predicted Ottawa to be one of the

McCreary added an insurance more challenging teams, "The

marker. In the third frame, key was our ability to get a lead McCreary and rookie Scott Dris- early." The Hawks' unbeaten

coll assisted first star Hellstrom streak continues. in Mark Goalie Rob Dopson looks intently at a lose puck front of his crease. Reargaurd Lyons in his second goal of the game.

defends on the and tries to ensure the Ottawa forward is held at bay. The Hawkey Hawks Mark Lyons added a fifth, and (2) play

remained undefeated winning two more over the weekend. Brent Bywater rounded out the by games

with scoring a shorthandcd goal. Greg Puhalski assisted. The Scoreboard

bWIAA Volleyball OUAA Volleyball

APts Team GP W L T F Team GP W L T F APts

0 9 1 6 3 0 0 9 2 6 Windsor 3 3 0 Waterloo 3 6 Brock 4 3 1 0 10 5 6 Western 4 3 1 0 10 6

0 3 0 2 3 2 0 7 5 4 McMaster 1 1 0 Windsor 1 0 6 9 4 Waterloo 2 1 1 0 4 3 2 McMaster 4 2 2

2 7 2 1 2 0 6 8 2 Guelph 3 1 0 3 LAURIER 3 0 0 4 6 0 Western 1 0 1 0 0 3 Guelph 2 0 2 0 3 9 0 Lakehead 2 0 2 0 1 6 0 Brock 3 0 3

0 1 6 0 LAURIER 2 0 2 Results:

Brock 2 0 Results: Windsor 3, Western 3, McMaster Brock 3, Lakehead 0 LAURIER 3, Guelph 2 Guelph 3, LAURIER 1 Windsor 3, Western 0 Brock 3, Waterloo 1 Brock Lakehead 1 McMaster 3, Guelph 0 3, Upcoming Games: A.C.) McMaster at LAURIER (Fri. Nov. 17, 8:00,

Upcoming Games: Western at LAURIER (Thu. Nov. 16, 8:00 A.C.) OUAA Hockey West

APts OUAA Hockey East Team GP W L 1 F 10 12 LAURIER 6 6 0 0 51

4 1 1 28 25 9 Team GP W L T F APts Western 6

3 2 0 21 12 6 York 6 6 0 0 42 19 12 Waterloo 5 3 3 0 30 22 6 UQTR 7 3 3 1 32 29 7 Guelph 6 26 6 Toronto 6 3 3 0 23 32 6 Windsor 7 3 4 0 23 26 37 5 Ottawa 8 3 5 0 29 33 6 Brock 6 2 3 1

4 7 2 5 0 26 51 4 Ryerson 5 2 3 0 19 26 Laurentian 4 1 7 0 27 52 2 Queen's 5 2 3 0 19 22 RMC 8

Concordia 5 2 3 0 14 16 4

McGill 6 2 4 0 22 20 4 Results: Concordia 1 York 12, Brock 5 Western 4, 1, McGill 0 Results: Windsor 1, Concordia 0 Windsor Western Concordia RMC Brock 4 York 12, Brock 5 4, 1 Western 3, McGill 3 6, 3 Axette: LAURIER 6, Ottawa A Lady Hawk versus an Debbie Callow (left) Windsor 1, Concordia 0 Windsor 1, McGill 0 RMC 6, Laurentian 5 3 the McGill 3 York 8, Queen's 1 Waterloo 4, UQTR and Axette Bridget Anakin (right) fight for possession during Western 3, Waterloo 4, Ottawa 1

at Acadia 3 Ryerson 4, Toronto 3 2 bronze medal game of the CIAU championships University Toronto 5, Queen's LAURIER 6, UQTR

1-0 in the tourn- LAURIER 6, Ottawa 3 last weekend. Acadia won the game for third place Waterloo 4, Ottawa 1 Games: LAURIER at Brock (Pri. 17)— 2 Waterloo 4, UQTR 3 Upcoming ment. LAURIER6, UQTR