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cr101s_v01 Course Instructor SESSION ONE TABLE OF Unforgiveness Delivers You to the Torturers CONTENTS The Shocking Revelation About Forgiveness...... 4 Session One Unforgiveness Delivers You to the Torturers...... 5 Session Questions...... 7 Week One Devotional...... 8 Session Two Five Requirements for Lasting Forgiveness...... 15 Dr. Bruce Wilkinson BA, ThB, Requirements...... 15 ThM, and Doctor of Divinity, Session Questions...... 17 Founder and Chairman: Week Two Devotional...... 18 Teach Every Nation Bruce Wilkinson has consistently ...... 24 served as an agent of How to Forgive Other People reconciliation over his extended Session Three What Happens to You When You Don’t international ministry. Early in Forgive Others?...... 25 his life, he learned the power of Session Questions...... 27 step to reconciliation and restored Week Three Devotional...... 28 relationshipsforgiveness as and the hasnecessary taken those first Session Four Steps to Follow to Forgive Other People...... 35 truths around the world. Through Session Questions...... 38 the principles of forgiveness taught in the life-changing 70X7: Week Four Devotional...... 39 Finding Peace by Forgiving Others and Yourself course by Teach Every Nation, Dr. Wilkinson The Shocking Revelation About helps parents reconcile with God’s Forgiveness...... 44 their children and grandchildren, Session Five God Commits to Handle Vengeance for You...... 45 husbands with their wives, local Session Questions...... 48 churches on the verge of splitting Week Five Devotional...... 49 Session Six How Can God Forgive Anyone for Everything?...... 55 find peace and unity, and even Keyhelped leaders conflicting of one denominationsAfrican nation Session Questions...... 59 broughtfind unity him without to restore compromise. national Week Six Devotional...... 60 peace between white farmers and the black workers which was announced as successful by the How to Forgive Yourself...... 66 nation’s president on national TV and radio. He led over 6,000 Session Seven What Happens When You Don’t warring Ugandans from various Forgive Yourself...... 67 Session Questions...... 69 and reconciliation in a weeklong Week Seven Devotional...... 70 leadershiptribes to find conference. healing, forgiveness, In South Steps to Follow to Forgive Yourself...... 77 Africa, He brought reconciliation Session Eight between various reformed and Session Questions...... 80 Pentecostal pastors and leaders. Week Eight Devotional...... 81 These powerful principles in the course and in his popular © 2002-2017 Bruce Wilkinson and Teach Every Nation, Inc. All rights reserved. www.teacheverynation.org Unless book, How to Forgive Others and otherwise indicated, Scripture taken from the Holy Bible, New King James Version®, copyright © 1982 by Thomas Yourself, have already helped tens Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007, 2013 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of much-needed peace. Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved. www.TENcourses.org of thousands to forgive and find The Shocking Revelation About Forgiveness 4 c019_bsow1-s-i_v02 SESSION ONE Unforgiveness Delivers You to the Torturers

Unforgiveness Delivers You 4 God is not abusive but has little tolerance for the sin of to the Torturers 5 “To Torture” means to cause another person distress and Introduction 5Now when Jesus had entered Capernaum, a centurion came to Him, pleading with Him, 6saying, “Lord, my servant is lying at home paralyzed, dreadfully tormented (basanizo).” Matthew 8:5-6 7And delivered righteous Lot, who was oppressed by the filthy conduct of the wicked 8(for that PART ONE Why Forgiving “70 times 7” is a righteous man, dwelling among them, tormented (basanizo) his righteous soul from day to day by Brilliant Idea seeing and hearing their lawless deeds). 2 Peter 2:7-8 2Then being with child, she cried out in labor and in pain (basanizo) to give birth. Revelation 12:2 21Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against 10The devil, who deceived them, was cast into the lake of fire and brimstone where the beast and me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” the false prophet are. And they will be tormented (basanizo) day and night forever and ever. Revelation 20:10 22Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven. 23Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24And when he had begun to settle accounts, 6 The “Torturers” apply discipline until forgiveness is fully one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. 25But as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold, with his wife and children and 7 Fear of the “Torturers” is Christ’s reason to forgive without all that he had, and that payment be made. 26The servant therefore fell down before him, saying, ‘Master, have patience with me, and I will pay you all.’ 27Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt. PART TWO 28“But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him The Basics of Forgiveness a hundred denarii; and he laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying, ‘Pay me what you owe!’ 29So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you all.’ 30And he would not, but went and threw him into prison till he should pay the debt. 31So when his fellow servants saw what had been done, they were very grieved, and came and told their master all that had been done. 32Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. 33Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?’ 34And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him. 35“So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.” Matthew 18:21-35

1 God desires that everyone forgives everyone for Conclusion 2 God describes people who don’t forgive as The Forgiveness Verifier: “Would you say you have experienced torment?” Since Jesus reveals that unforgiveness always results in being delivered to the “torturers” 3 God delivers everyone who chooses not to forgive to the then asking the person “if they experience torment” (the result of torture) is the correct Exception 1: The Window of protocol to verify that the person indeed has unforgiveness in their life. God will make the person confirm or deny whether it’s true or not. Exception 2: The Season of

5 Session One: Unforgiveness Delivers You to the Torturers The Shocking Revelation About Forgiveness 6 POST SESSION 1: FORGIVE FOR LASTING PEACE Unforgiveness Delivers You to the Torturers 1. Review: In your own words, explain the shocking reason why Jesus revealed A 40 Day Devotional we should forgive 70X7. By Bruce Wilkinson with Mark E. Strong

INTRODUCTION Welcome! During the next forty days you are about to embark upon a life- 2. Reflect: Describe your emotional reaction when you understood the painful changing journey. A journey where you will discover the power of forgiving consequences of any unforgiveness in your life. How did you feel? other people and yourself. Many people today are experiencing the hard realities that are associated with unforgiveness. They are unaware that often the pain they are experiencing today can be ended by just choosing to forgive. Also, they have no idea how much God desires them to be free, and what great lengths He will take to secure their freedom. However, all of that is about to change! Each day as you proceed through Finding Peace by Forgiving Others. . . And 3. Respond: Not all our suffering comes from unforgiveness, but much of it Yourself, you will interact with Biblical truth, life-changing truth that will be does. Since our unwillingness to forgive those who have wounded us always conveyed through enjoyable stories, illustrations and anecdotes. Included in leads to some type of torment, can you describe some of your torment from the daily readings are Scripture verses to anchor your heart, as well as reflection unforgiveness? questions to help you apply what you learned as a vital part of your life. My prayer for you is each day you will experience more of God’s grace and His love for you. And most of all, that you will forgive others, and yourself, for everything. May you enjoy the journey and God’s incredible blessings that are coming your way during these next forty days!

Week One: Unforgiveness Delivers You to The Torturers Week Two: Christ’s Five Requirements for Lasting Forgiveness 4. Resolve: Whenever we learn a deep truth from the Bible, the Holy Spirit begins to convict and challenge us to obey to enjoy more of God’s blessings. Week Three: The Results of Not Forgiving Others What are you going to do with that conviction? Week Four: Steps to Forgive Other People Week Five: God Commits to Handle Vengeance for You Week Six: How God Can Forgive Anyone for Anything? Week Seven: What Happens When You Don’t Forgive Yourself Week Eight: Steps to Forgive Yourself Epilogue

For Your Forgiveness Blessings, Bruce Wilkinson and Mark Strong

7 Session One: Unforgiveness Delivers You to the Torturers A 40 Day Devotional 8 DAY DAY 40 DEVOTIONALS God Desires that We 40 DEVOTIONALS A Brilliant Idea Forgive Like He Does

WHAT GOD SAYS WHAT GOD SAYS Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to even as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32 him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.” Matthew 18:21-22 od is not a selective forgiver. world where we will be wounded. It is Through the death of Christ, impossible for us to shelter ourselves t is a rare occasion when you have Forgiving our brother or sister seventy Gour gracious Heavenly Father from experiencing injustices, whether the opportunity to ask a question times seven is not a forgiveness quota is fully ready to forgive anyone for intentional or unintentional. Sadly, this Iand receive a life-changing answer. we are to fulfill, but a new way of life. anything. This means whoever asks is the inescapable reality of living life in An answer so brilliant and powerful A way of life that keeps our hearts for God’s forgiveness will receive it. a fallen world. that it holds the key to your personal whole, our relationships with others And every sin that is repented of and Therefore, just as we are in need of wellbeing, your relationships with peaceful, and our walk with God joyful. confessed will be forgiven through God’s forgiveness, others and even others, and your relationship with God. Choosing to forgive seventy times the shed blood of Jesus Christ. Now ourselves will be in need of our seven ensures us that we will never pause a moment. Step back and think forgiveness. So the heart question In the verses above, Peter asks Jesus allow a trace of unforgiveness to live in how awful it would be if God placed is, “Will we forgive selectively or as a question that has probably crossed our hearts. Thank you Jesus for such a restrictions on His forgiveness towards God forgives?” Truthfully, genuine your mind a time or two. “How many brilliant idea—unlimited forgiveness! us. Just imagine having to live your life times should I forgive a person when under an agonizing burden of guilt and forgiveness requires us to forgive they hurt or deeply wound me?” That’s THE MULTIPLIER EFFECT condemnation while trying to endure everyone for everything. It’s what God a great question, don’t you think? Who commands and what He desires of Would you say that you have adopted the tortuous sentence of knowing wants to subject themselves to someone your unforgiven heart could never be us. You’ll soon discover the missing who continually mistreats them? Jesus’ Brilliant Idea of forgiving motivation to forgive. everyone for everything as a way of life at peace with God. How tragic and Nobody. This is the reason why Peter in hopeless our lives would be if this were the same breath offers Jesus a seemingly for you? If not what do you think is THE MULTIPLIER EFFECT preventing you from doing so? the case. very generous cut-off point—seven God has forgiven us for everything times. If we are honest, most of us Fortunately for us all, God’s heart through His Son, Jesus Christ. Why think forgiving someone seven times is doesn’t discriminate. Through the do you think you and I are tempted at still far too excessive. The pain we feel sacrifice of His only Son Jesus on times to be selective forgivers? How even from one wound causes our heart the cross, His loving heart extends then can reflecting on God’s forgiveness to scream—once is enough! forgiveness to us all. And if you and towards us help us to forgive others? I are in Christ, we are recipients of Knowing our human limitations and His mercy and forgiveness. How our natural inclination to protect our wonderful! hearts from pain, why would Jesus tell us to forgive our offender seventy times However, there is another important seven? This week you’ll learn Christ’s facet of God’s desire. His desire is also shocking revelation that will unlock for you to extend forgiveness to others your freedom to forgive. and even yourself. Why? We live in a

9 Week One: Unforgiveness Delivers You to the Torturers A 40 Day Devotional 10 DAY DAY 40 DEVOTIONALS Delivered into the 40 DEVOTIONALS Hands of the Torturers Why the Torment?

WHAT GOD SAYS WHAT GOD SAYS “And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until “And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he he should pay all that was due to him.” Matthew 18:34 should pay all that was due to him. So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his awn’s husband hurt her deeply. the mass was removed and she then trespasses.” Matthew 18:34-35 When she discovered that her completed the prescribed protocol by her Dhusband had an affair with doctor. But Dawn suffered a great deal t is comforting to know our physical suffering and sickness. Though his female co-worker, she was beyond through the process. Heavenly Father only wants the all sickness cannot be contributed to devastated. Although she seriously best for our lives. Therefore, He unforgiveness, some can be. We may Once she recovered, Dawn shared with I considered it, she made the decision will do all in His power to keep us from experience emotional turbulence and her Christian friends the story of her not to divorce her husband. However, harboring unforgiveness in our hearts. distress. We may be plagued with entire ordeal and the deep wounds deep within her heart she made another God knows the sin of unforgiveness will the pain stemming from financial, by her husband. When she finished decision—she decided to never forgive choke the very life out of our souls. relational and other disciplinary him. telling her story, she ended with these consequences. words. She said, “I believe I would As a loving Father, God is not going She reasoned by not forgiving him she have never gotten that sick, if I had to stand by and watch sin destroy the Understand, God never wants to deliver would make his life miserable, and she forgiven my husband, and got rid of the life of His beloved children. So for our anyone into His discipline from our did. She made his life so unbearable, unforgiveness in my heart years ago. So sake, He disciplines us by removing unforgiveness. That painful course he contemplated leaving the home. But if there is anybody out there today that His protective barrier of peace. Jesus of action is determined solely by our there was something else that happened needs to forgive someone today—please reveals that as the master delivered choosing not to forgive. His desire is that Dawn failed to bargain: How do it! It is not worth the suffering the unforgiver to the torturers, “My for you and me to forgive everyone for much she would suffer by choosing not you will have to go through.” Dawn heavenly Father also will do to you everything. to forgive her husband! discovered a shocking connection (deliver you to the torturers) if you between her unforgiveness and her don’t forgive another their trespasses THE MULTIPLIER EFFECT Slowly Dawn began to experience more suffering. (wounding actions)”. Are you experiencing God’s loving turmoil and pain in her life that went discipline because there is a person you beyond the initial wound caused by her THE MULTIPLIER EFFECT The discomfort He then permits us to haven’t forgiven? What is one act of husband. She starting to ache in places experience is for the sole purpose of Why is it do you think we believe obedience you can do today to end the she had never hurt before. She began to bringing us to a place where we forgive anyone can harbor unforgiveness difficulty you are experiencing? fight migraines on a weekly basis. Not ourselves and others. The moment without experiencing any painful only that, but her pleasant disposition we forgive, the sentence of discipline consequences? Any connections in that once defined who she was slowly is over and the suffering we have been your life? disappeared. At times she would say and experiencing ceases! do things that would shock even her. The misery caused by our unforgiveness Finally, on a visit to the doctor’s office, torment can painfully affect our lives a malignant mass was discovered in in many ways. We may experience her body. The surgery was scheduled,

11 Week One: Unforgiveness Delivers You to the Torturers A 40 Day Devotional 12 DAY 40 DEVOTIONALS The Basics of Forgiveness

WHAT GOD SAYS If you are willing and obedient, you shall eat the good of the land. Isaiah 1:19

hen someone wounds us sin got in the way and prevented an whether intentionally or entire generation from ever eating Waccidentally we are faced with the tender grapes, drinking the fresh a choice. The choice belongs to us one- milk, and enjoying the sweet honey hundred percent—it is ours and ours of the Land of Canaan. Beloved, alone. The decision we face is either to this rebellion wasn’t God’s plan for forgive or not forgive the person for the that generation—it wasn’t what He pain they have caused. When we choose wanted them to experience. But they to hold on to unforgiveness, we’ve decided to disobey and forfeited all decided to forfeit something good God those wonderful promises awaiting has prepared for us. fulfillment in their lives. Let’s be honest and call unforgiveness We now know that if we choose not what it is—sin. There is much we to forgive we will always experience could say about sin, but one thing some form of torment. However, do we is for sure—sin prevents us from ever stop to ask ourselves the question, experiencing God’s very best for our “What is our heart of unforgiveness lives. causing us to miss out on? By God’s grace, let’s make that a question we will Remember Israel in Egypt? For never have to ask ourselves, because we hundreds of years God promised them always choose to forgive, no matter how that He was going to take them into a difficult. land that was flowing with milk and honey. Generation after generation of THE MULTIPLIER EFFECT the Israelites kept God’s promise at the Have you forfeited God’s blessings by forefront of their hearts and minds. choosing to have an unforgiving heart? They couldn’t wait for that day to finally If so, how much longer do you want to come. wander in the wilderness, outside God’s Finally, after a long stay in Egypt, God richest blessings? miraculously delivered them from the oppressive power of Pharaoh. They were finally on their way to the Promised Land! Unfortunately,

13 Week One: Unforgiveness Delivers You to the Torturers SESSION TWO Five Requirements for Lasting Forgiveness Five Requirements for Lasting Forgiveness 4.1 Forgive everyone who may have hurt you purposefully or 4.2 Forgive everyone for every single one of their Introduction 4.3 Forgive individuals and groups who caused the Requirement 1 your heart to prepare to forgive. 4.4 Forgive individuals who are living or dead as the heart-wound 35“So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive (Aorist Active Subjunctive) his brother his trespasses.” Matthew 18:35 4.5 Forgive individuals whether or not they ever 1.1 Anyone can open their heart anytime they choose. 4.6 Forgive individuals whether or not they change their 1.2 You cannot forgive anyone unless you first open your heart. 4.7 Forgive individuals whether or not they make compassion to the person you need to forgive. Requirement 2 4.8 Forgiving doesn’t mean you accept or condone their 27“Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him 33 the debt. ‘Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on 4.9 Forgiving doesn’t mean you don’t maintain healthy you?’” Matthew 18:27, 33 2.1 Compassion can be raised by the other ______4.10 Forgiving doesn’t always mean your relationship is “Was moved with compassion” (passive verb—it happens to you) 2.2 Compassion can be raised by your own ______Requirement 5 and do good to the person. “Should have had compassion” (active verb—you make it happen) 44“But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, 45that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the Requirement 3 the person from your inner Heart Prison. just and on the unjust.” Matthew 5:44-45 27“Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt.” Matthew 18:27 5.1 “Love (present active imperative) your enemies” 3.1 The person must be separated from the “trespass” they committed. 5.2 “Bless (present active imperative) those who curse you (present participle)” 3.2 The person is locked in your Heart Prison until you release them. 5.3 “Do good (present active imperative) to those who hate you (present active)”

5.4 “Pray (present imperative) for those who spitefully use you (present active participle)” Requirement 4 each trespass, offense, mistake, sin, and wound. 5.5 “Pray (present imperative) for those who persecute you (present participle)” 27Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt. 32Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you Conclusion 35 all that debt because you begged me. “So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, 32And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.” Matthew 18:27, 32, 35 you. Ephesians 4:32

15 Session Two: Five Requirements for Lasting Forgiveness The Shocking Revelation About Forgiveness 16 POST SESSION 2: FORGIVE FOR LASTING PEACE DAY 40 DEVOTIONALS Five Requirements for Lasting Forgiveness Open Your Heart 1. Review: List in order the five steps Jesus reveals are necessary for lasting peace.

WHAT GOD SAYS “Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me.” Revelation 3:20

2. Reflect: Think about the person who will be hardest for you to forgive. Which of n one occasion, Jesus locked out. Simply stated, forgiveness those five steps will be the most challenging for you and why? was seeking to have deep can only begin when our hearts are Ocommunion with a group of open and not closed. people He loved, but was prevented from doing so because the doors of Sometimes opening our heart requires their hearts were closed. To gain us to overcome a hurdle. At times we entrance, the Savior asked them to believe the pain we have suffered at our “open the door” of their hearts. This offender’s hands renders us powerless loving request from Jesus reveals the to open the door. This is not true. We 3. Respond: Close your eyes and walk down into your inner Heart Prison. Ask the same concept in Matthew 18 when always have the ability to open the door Lord to reveal every person who is locked away. Don’t hurry. List either their Jesus reveals we must forgive “from our of our heart anytime we choose. If our names or the first initial of their names, because they are hoping you will choose hearts.” hearts are closed, we can choose to to release them soon. open them right now. And that would Each of our hearts has a door that can be a great thing to do, because Someone remain tightly shut or swing wide-open. you love is standing at the door asking Our struggle at times is knowing when you to open up and forgive—His name to securely fasten the door, and when to is Jesus. turn the knob and open it. THE MULTIPLIER EFFECT Preparing our hearts to forgive is an Is the door of your heart open today, if 4. Resolve: You may have already begun forgiving some of the people who important step that requires us to open not, when will you open it? wounded you—that’s great! Describe what your life will be like after you have the door of our hearts. Why? Because forgiven everyone for everything and God cancels all unforgiveness torment in we were wounded in our hearts and your life. Are you going to forgive everyone and if not, why not? therefore true forgiveness must occur from our hearts. If we attempt to forgive someone or ourselves from our head or our emotions, we fall short. Our heart is the place we were wounded, and from the heart is where we are to forgive. In order for us to forgive as Jesus commands, we must open the door. A closed heart keeps unforgiveness locked in, and forgiveness

17 The Shocking Revelation of Forgiveness - Discussion Questions A 40 Day Devotional 18 DAY DAY 40 DEVOTIONALS Extend Compassion Release the Prisoner 40 DEVOTIONALS

WHAT GOD SAYS WHAT GOD SAYS “Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, “Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, just as I had pity on you?” Matthew 18:33 released him, and forgave him the debt.” Matthew 18:27

ompassion moves us to forgive what he had done. That question set henever we fail to forgive then God delivers us to be tormented others just as God has forgiven off an explosive volcano: “Forgive someone for a trespass, until we set them free. us. him, are you kidding me! You’ve got mistake, or a wound, we C W Releasing the prisoners requires us to to be crazy, I’ll never forgive him for form a Heart-Prison: An inner prison Ronny and Gale were not only business what he did to me,” he blurted out. constructed with emotional, mental take a journey down into our Heart- partners but close friends, whose I continued to allow him to vent for a and spiritual walls to incarcerate the Prison in order to free the people we families spent quality time together. while, then he slowly came to a place person who wounded us. Our Heart- have held in captivity. We reach into Then the unexpected happened. An where God’s Spirit could convict him. Prisons are located deep within our our pocket and pull out the only key opportunity was presented to Gale that His heart softened, “You know I really inner life, hidden from all others and that can open their cell door. Once could rapidly advance his career. So, feel sorry for him.” Once he reached only accessible by us. Look again at we have placed the key in the lock instead of telling his partner Ronny that place, his compassion flowed and the words of Jesus and you’ll notice and opened the door—we grant them about it, he kept his plans to himself he forgave his friend for everything he the order of forgiveness is first to a release and set them free. Finally, and developed an exit strategy at the did. The second step to forgive is to “release him” and then to “forgive him.” in our hearts we embrace them with expense of their current business. extend compassion to the person who Separate the person from what they did the liberating words, “I release you I remember talking to Ronny during wounded you. to you. Release the person and then from my Heart-Prison and you are those days about Gale, because he forgive the trespasses they did against no longer bound within my heart. I’m knew something was going on, but he THE MULTIPLIER EFFECT you. sorry for holding you here for so long.” couldn’t put his finger on it. He figured Remember, the person isn’t equal to the If you betrayed a close friend out of his buddy was going through a rough The number of cells in our Heart- harmful act that they committed—so greed and made a terrible mistake, time and would eventually pull out of it. Prisons can vary depending on how release the person and tomorrow you would you want the person you hurt many people we have failed to forgive. can forgive them. to forgive you? Now place yourself A few months later the devastation Each unforgiven person occupies a cell. in the position of a person who needs hit. Without any warning or advanced Some of us may only have empty cells, THE MULTIPLIER EFFECT notice, Gale abruptly quit to start a new your compassion. Extend to them the because they don’t have any unforgiven Do you have anyone in your Heart- competing business, and took several compassion you hope someone else people. Others may have a prison filled Prison you need to release today? of Ronny’s key employees with him. would extend to you. to capacity with many occupied cells. You may have a close friend who Ronny was hurt, angry and devastated. betrayed you ten years ago still locked In fact, he had to work every weekend However, for the follower of Jesus away. Remember everything good just to keep his fractured business Christ to have even one person about them—and set them free. afloat. His close friend had become his incarcerated is one too many. The will greatest enemy. of God is for us to have no inmates on our premises. If we have a Heart- Once the dust settled a bit, I asked Prison with one single person present, Ronny if he had forgiven Gale for

19 Week Two: Five Requirements for Lasting Forgiveness A 40 Day Devotional Week Two: Five Requirements for Lasting Forgiveness 20 DAY DAY 40 DEVOTIONALS Forgive Each Sin 40 DEVOTIONALS and Wound Bless and Do Good

WHAT GOD SAYS WHAT GOD SAYS “So My Heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his 27“But I say to you who hear: Love your enemies, do good to those heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.” Matthew 18:35 who hate you, 28bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you.” Luke 6:27-28 ne major mistake we make For your heart to completely heal you when it comes to forgiveness can’t just address one wound, you have aul was a vibrant young believer At times when he spoke to me about Ois taking the one-stop-shop to attend to each arrow, one at a time. in his twenties who was pursing his parents, his heart would fill with approach. We innocently think if we That’s why the Bible reveals that we must Jesus with all of his heart. love and compassion to the point that just say “I forgive her” and mean it, forgive our brother for his trespasses P Though he had accepted Christ, he tears would stream down his face. He then we truly have forgiven. But Jesus (plural) because each wound caused by still had a lot of anger and bitterness became more helpful to his mother, and reveals another secret about forgiveness. an injustice must be forgiven in order for pent up inside towards his father and supported his dad even when his dad In fact, our misunderstanding about your heart to heal. At times, we can be mother. His father was an abusive man failed to support him. Paul stopped this is why we find ourselves having to the target of more than one archer and who was seldom present in the home. cursing his parents and started to bless forgive the same person over and over are hit by many arrows. To heal requires His mother was a self-serving and them. Several years later, his prayers again instead of just once. that we release each archer and then neglectful woman. were answered. His parents came to forgive them for each arrow that hit our faith in Jesus Christ. What a lesson for Because each person who committed hearts. Once we have attended to each Over the years, we talked a lot about his us all—blessing and praying for those an injustice toward us caused a separate wound, we have forgiven and our hearts parents, but more so about his father. who have wounded us is good medicine wound, then each of those individual will be free to heal. In those early conversations, despite for all of our hearts. Why not try it! wounds must be separately forgiven. what I tried to interject, his heart was Jesus instructs us to forgive the person’s THE MULTIPLIER EFFECT so walled off to his father (in his Heart- THE MULTIPLIER EFFECT “trespasses” not just “trespass.” Because Prison) he couldn’t receive a word I Think over your life. Who wounded Who has wounded you and you have each trespass caused a separate wound, said. What made matters worse was you the most? Now, take out a separate already forgiven? Why not take this we must forgive each trespass, one at a that his father would continually make piece of paper and list as many different final step and take a moment and pray time. promises to him that he wouldn’t keep. wounds that you can remember. a blessing over them. And his relationship with his mother Picture a person standing several feet To truly forgive to God’s satisfaction, remained strained and broken. So the away holding a bow and arrows. This you must forgive each one. wounding in his soul continued, and he person could be a father, a co-worker, a made it extremely clear to me he wasn’t child, a church member, or even yourself. happy about it! The arrows won’t kill you, but they sure have the power to hurt you deeply. For Eventually Paul broke through and whatever reason, that person reaches released each of them and then forgave into the quiver and begins to shoot arrow his mother and his father for each and after arrow into your heart. When they every wound. Nothing changed as far turn and walk away you are left with as his parent’s behavior towards him several wounds in your heart caused by was concerned. However, his behavior each individual arrow. and attitude toward them changed dramatically.

21 Week Two: Five Requirements for Lasting Forgiveness A 40 Day Devotional 22

SESSION THREE What Happens to You When You Don’t Forgive Others?

Stage in the Slide Results in the Life of the Person What Happens to You When of Unforgiveness Who Won’t Forgive Other People

You Don’t Forgive Others? STAGE 1 ______Because of the wounds you experienced by the other To harbor ill-feelings to the person person, you decide that you aren’t going to forgive them. Introduction for their hurtful attitudes and Or, maybe you just decided to “forget it” and move on with actions. your life—not realizing that, that wound will soon become infected.

PART ONE Our Unforgiveness Causes God to STAGE 2 ______As time progresses, your unforgiveness slides into feelings of Stop Forgiving Us To feel displeasure, hostility, and anger—sometimes you even lose your temper toward them antagonism; to harbor strong or someone else who reminds you of them. You have to negative feelings. calm yourself when they are nearby to hide your anger. 9“In this manner, therefore, pray: Our Father in heaven, hallowed be Your name. 10Your kingdom come. Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. 11Give us this day our STAGE 3 ______You close your heart completely toward the other person. 12 13 You are easily irritated, frustrated, and have lost your peace. daily bread. and forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And do not lead us into To have sharp, negative emotions; You no longer trust the person and start becoming sullen, temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the cynicism; to be harsh, callous, and 14 withdrawn, hard. You put impenetrable walls around your glory forever. Amen. For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also untrusting. heart. forgive you. 15But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” Matthew 6:9-15 STAGE 4 ______You find yourself talking down about the person who wounded you and are glad when you hear they are 1 God forgives our sins only if we forgive others their debts and ______To communicate; to defame and suffering. You misread the other person’s motives because damage another’s reputation; you can’t trust them—and tell others not to either. 2 Unforgiven sins are the legal basis for our present-life ______gossip and rumor. You gossip about them.

34 “And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due You keep track of all the mistakes and unkind actions of the 35 STAGE 5 ______to him. So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his other person—building a whole case why they cannot be To have a deep-seated critical brother his trespasses.” Matthew 18:34-35 trusted. You link all previous negatives about the person into attitude toward a person; to a well-worn list that gets longer and longer. Your bitterness 3 Torment may affect you physically, spiritually, mentally, repeatedly rehearse past offenses. deepens and can’t find anything good about the person. financially, and STAGE 6 ______You dread being with the person, even seeing them in 4 Torment increases in intensity due to the increasing a store upsets you. You now have so many reasons to To dislike intensely or passionately; dislike and not trust them that you don’t want anything number of unforgiven ______to feel extreme hostility toward, to to do with them. You avoid them and just the thought of detest, to avoid contact. them sets your emotions on end. They are your enemy— 5 Torment from unforgiveness does not cease by prayer, you hate them. good works, ministry, or ______STAGE 7 ______Your inner desire to make them pay for what they’ve done builds to the point that you take action—you wish them To desire to get even, to inflict evil (curse) and don’t want anything good to happen harm, humiliation; to inflict PART TWO Unforgiveness Spreads Through the to them (no bless). You may even try to hurt them in punishment; require retribution. various ways. You may even wish that they were dead— Slide of Unforgiveness or kill them yourself.

29Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. 30And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. 32And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, Conclusion forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:29-32

25 Session Three: What Happens to You When You Don’t Forgive Others? How to Forgive Other People 26 POST SESSION 3: FORGIVE FOR LASTING PEACE DAY 40 DEVOTIONALS What Happens to You When You Don’t Forgive Others? What Causes God to

1. Review: List in order the 7 Steps in the Slide of Unforgiveness and give a short Stop Forgiving Us? description of each of them. WHAT GOD SAYS “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” Matthew 6:14-15

esus’ words are very clear, but repented? The fact that we have still have 2. Reflect: Describe a situation in your life when another person deeply wounded they can be difficult for us to hear. unforgiveness lingering in our hearts you and over time you slid all the way through the 7 stages to wanting vengeance. JMost of us could probably quote means that known sin is still present Describe the anxiety and anger you felt. this verse by heart. Let’s be honest, we in our lives. But in this rare situation, all love verse 14, that our “heavenly God states that He stops forgiving us Father will also forgive you”. But verse until we forgive others. In other words, 15 boldly states that if we don’t forgive unforgiveness is very serious to God. others then God won’t forgive us. That’s difficult to digest. There are a few Therefore, the course of action we force reasons why this is the case. God to take for our unforgiveness is one of discipline. God seeks to move us from 3. Respond: Turn the tables around to gain more perspective. Describe how You might wonder: How is it God will a place of unforgiveness to forgiveness— another person treated you when they slid down the Slide because of their not forgive us? After all, doesn’t He say disobedience to obedience. Because unforgiveness toward you. What did they do and how did you feel because of He will forgive us for all our sins if we we are in a place of disobedience, He their anger, bitterness, slander, resentment, hatred, and vengeance? put our faith in Christ? If God stops then removes His inner wall of peace forgiving us because we won’t forgive from around our hearts and as Jesus others—does this mean our souls are stated, “delivers us into the hands of the in eternal jeopardy? To answer those torturers.” This condition only lasts, questions: Yes, God forgives us for all however, until we forgive as He has our sins at the moment of salvation. commanded us to do. Once we forgive Therefore, our souls are not in eternal the person who sinned against us, peril if we don’t forgive others. Our God freely forgives us and His peace is 4. Resolve: When you truly forgive another person, you automatically climb back off immediately restored. Tomorrow you will that tragic Slide of Unforgiveness. Get in touch with your heart—how determined names are written in the Lamb’s Book are you to be free from those damaging negative emotions and thoughts? of Life. Eternal salvation focuses on find out the reason why this is so. But for forgiveness needed for our life after now consider this question: death. In this passage, however, Christ focuses THE MULTIPLIER EFFECT on forgiveness needed while we are Is there any unforgiveness in your heart still alive—before death. If we fail to that is preventing God from forgiving you? forgive someone who has wounded us, how can God forgive us from the sin of unforgiveness which we have not

27 Session Three: What Happens to You When You Don’t Forgive Others? A 40 Day Devotional 28 DAY DAY 40 DEVOTIONALS The Legal Side of Stepping onto the 40 DEVOTIONALS Unforgiveness Slide of Unforgiveness

WHAT GOD SAYS WHAT GOD SAYS “And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to should pay all that was due to him. So My Heavenly Father also will withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Ephesians 6:13 do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.” Matthew 18:34-35 he Slide of Unforgiveness told her, he made a mistake letting her consists of seven stages we pass go and that she was the only woman he am’s father was a respected were no strings to pull and he suffered Tthrough when we choose not to ever loved. Nancy dropped her guard. judge. For years Sam played in jail until his sentence was completed. forgive. As we descend through each They agreed to meet for lunch to talk. Russian roulette with the law stage, we lose more ground and take on Then one lunch led to many, and then S The language in Matthew 18:34-35 and somehow always managed to characteristics we never imagined. In finally to a full-blown affair. When escape getting into serious trouble. is legal terminology. When God fact, everyone who continues in their Chad found out he was crushed and His constant bad behavior broke his “delivers” us into the hands of the unforgiveness will slide down seven rightfully so. However now Chad was father’s heart. His dad grieved daily as tormentors it is a legal transaction. specific stages, each next stage further faced with a choice, to forgive or not to he hopelessly watched his son throw This means that even though our into torment and suffering. Here is forgive. Tragically, he chose never to his life away. He struggled to figure out Heavenly Father is the Forgiving how Chad stepped onto the slide and forgive. Unforgiveness is the entrance where he went wrong as a father. And Judge, he won’t make concessions or began to fall. to the Slide of Unforgiveness. it pained him that he had given his life pull any strings until we fulfill the Chad and Nancy had been married for THE MULTIPLIER EFFECT to uphold the law, and yet his son had legal obligation—which is to forgive. Once we forgive, the stipulations of the twelve years. Chad was a successful no respect for the law whatsoever. Yes, what Chad suffered was contract are met, and we are free the business owner and dad. He was an devastating. However, how do you Despite all of the judge’s loving pleas to very moment we forgive. Then and upbeat man who was kind and loving think his life will change by not his son, what he feared the most finally only then, the torment will cease! to everyone. Nancy taught elementary forgiving Nancy? Take out a piece of happened. Sam and some foolish school part time and was a great mom. paper and write down your thoughts. drinking buddies beat up a man and THE MULTIPLIER EFFECT Life was good. Sure, they had the Then compare what you will write stole his vehicle. The man suffered typical couple problems, but there was Are there any legal contracts in heaven today with what you will learn over the serious physical trauma and spent nothing to be alarmed about. But then with your name written on them? next two days. What you discover later several days in the hospital. Upon the something happened… If so, what must you do to nullify the may surprise and sober you. investigation, it was discovered that contract today—and be set free? Through Facebook, Nancy made although Sam did not participate in contact with an ex-boyfriend. She the beating, he drove the stolen car. didn’t think it would be a big deal This time he would pay for his folly. to accept him as a friend because Knowing he was looking at jail time, she was happily married and he was Sam went to his father in tears asking married too. Well, one conversation him to help. He figured since his dad led to another and within months, the was a judge, he could pull some strings, ex-boyfriend began to confide in Nancy and lessen his punishment. But there about his unhappy marriage. He then

29 Week Three: The Results of Not Forgiving Others A 40 Day Devotional 30 DAY DAY 40 DEVOTIONALS Stage 1–4 in the Slide Stages 5–7 in the 40 DEVOTIONALS of Unforgiveness Slide of Unforgiveness

WHAT GOD SAYS WHAT GOD SAYS “Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, “Looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; many become defiled.” Hebrews 12:15 even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. Colossians 3:12-13 hen any of us continue to me like a piece of dirt. I’m so sorry and ver these next two days, I Stage 3: Bitterness. freefall down the Slide of want us to make it!” By this time, the kids would like for you to be a Nancy was broken and she pleaded Unforgiveness, our infection were crying, too. Then at the top of his keen observer. As you read with Chad for another chance. She was W O doesn’t stay contained within our own lungs, Chad told Nancy that just the sight the unfolding drama in Chad’s life willing to go to counseling to see if they hearts. Despite our efforts to control it, of her nauseated him, and that hearing on the Slide of Unforgiveness, watch could repair their marriage and home. our heart infection spreads and adversely her voice sickened him. That night at the carefully for the subtle changes that Her words were useless. Chad told her affects people around us as “bitterness dinner table was a total nightmare. The are occurring in his life as result of not he would have left the house a long can defile many.” Today as we look at the infection had grown to the point that forgiving Nancy. time ago if not for the kids. He was final stages of the Slide of Unforgiveness, now the kids were being exposed to the walled off from her and couldn’t stand continue to observe Chad’s slide into more virulent bacteria of hatred. Stage 1: Unforgiveness. even to be around her. and more troubling behavior. It’s understandable that Chad would Stage Seven: Vengeance. need some time to work through the Stage 4: Slander. Stage 5: Resentment. Finally, his hatred boiled over. Later that impact of his wife’s unfaithfulness. Chad’s bitterness grew over the Chad now viewed his wife in a dark night, Chad packed his bags and left the Tragically, however, somewhere along weeks until they spilled out in his light—she never could do anything house. For months he did nothing to help the line he made the decision that he conversations. Chad tore his wife down right. He forgot the many sacrifices she his ex-wife. It was his way of punishing was not going to forgive her for the pain so often that he convinced the guys at made to make him and his business a her for her betrayal. By not helping her, she had caused him. He repeatedly the gym, his family members, and a success. He put out of his mind the times he failed to see he was making his kids said to Nancy, “I can’t believe what you few of his office staff that his wife was she forgave him for his indiscretions suffer, too. He had accomplished his goal; have done. How could you do that to a terrible wife, mother, and person and mistakes—they were all a banished he was making her pay. But even though me and the kids? I will never forgive inside and out. He volunteered that memory. Now, nothing she could do was was causing Nancy pain, he grew more you for the pain and betrayal you have information to them even when they ever right. Chad continually misread her and more miserable. caused me. So stop asking me to!” weren’t asking for it. motives, even when they were pure and THE MULTIPLIER EFFECT for his good. He had become filled with Stage 2: Anger. THE MULTIPLIER EFFECT resentment, and he wore it openly on his Ask yourself the question: “Which Chad had always been a pretty mellow, From your observations, what changes sleeves. By now he had a whole list of her of those stages do you see yourself in and an easy-to-get-along-with type of do you notice taking place in Chad’s wrongs which proved she deserved his with someone you have had difficulty guy. But now he could barely go a day life? rejection. forgiving? How do you feel about the without yelling at his wife, children, next stages you will inevitably slide or even someone at work. Even his Stage 6: Hatred. into?” Isn’t it more than time to get employees were starting to comment on One night at the dinner table, Nancy off that Slide of Unforgiveness? how he was increasingly becoming more broke down. Sobbing, she said, “Chad, it’s on edge, and going over the top on stuff been over a year and you are still treating that was not really that big of a deal.

31 Week Three: The Results of Not Forgiving Others A 40 Day Devotional 32 FREE RESOURCES TO HELP YOU GROW Jesus’ Forgotten Story of Forgiveness You will be amazed about the shocking truth this free chapter reveals about why we should forgive others—and ourselves! Download your copy today to learn the connection between unforgiveness, su ering and the Father’s liberating truth of 70X7 forgiveness!

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LifeChanging Curriculum. Local and Global Impact SESSION FOUR Steps to Follow to Forgive Other People

Grant compassion to the people you are about to forgive—and describe your empathy Steps to Follow to and compassion like “I know my parents were under much stress and alcohol made them abusive” or “I know they didn’t mean to hurt me” or “They had been abused by someone Forgive Other People else and were acting out of that pain” or “They just lost their job” or “Their young unmarried daughter is pregnant” etc. Introduction Person Describe your Empathy and Compassion PART ONE The Preparation to Forgive Other People

Preparation 1 ______that you are going to forgive the people.

Preparation 2 ______the people you want to forgive. Name the people who have hurt/wounded you the most (using only initials if confidential): Consider parents, siblings, relatives, spouse, children, friends, neighbors, strangers, school, church, business, government, tribe, etc. Include people from childhood or even those who have died. Step 3 ______each person from your inner Heart-Prison. Preparation 3 ______specific trespasses and wounds. When you were wounded, especially repeatedly or deeply and did not choose to forgive, you moved down that poisonous Slide of Unforgiveness and finally put the person in the Pick two or three people and list everything hurtful that the person did—don’t evaluate, prison in your heart for what they did. Maybe you even said, “I’ll never forgive him or just describe. Include wounds that were done intentionally and accidentally—physical, her!” emotional, mental, and spiritual. In a few words, write down how you felt when that happened. 3.1 Picture the person in your heart inside a cage of prison bars. 3.2 Picture yourself on the outside at the prison door expressing your compassion. Person What did they do? How did you feel? 3.3 Picture yourself opening the door, stating, “I release you fully for what you did!” 3.4 Picture yourself feeling wonderful freedom as you embrace them. 3.5 Picture them weeping with regret for what they did—but joyful at your release.

Step 4 ______each person for each wound. Remember that forgiveness includes both setting the person free from your Heart-Prison and then forgiving them for each wound. Pick the person who wounded you the most and then say these sentences out loud quietly and slowly—making sure that your heart PART TWO The Process of Forgiving Other People matches the words: “NAME, I’ve decided to forgive you right now—from my heart and for every wound. I have had unforgiveness toward you for too long. I open my heart completely and forgive Step 1 ______your heart in order to forgive other people. you for what you did to me. NAME, I genuinely forgive you for hurting me when you “I hereby choose not to protect myself from my heart wounds any longer, but open ______. It made me feel ______. I no longer harbor any unforgiveness toward you for my heart completely in order to forgive everyone else, set them free, and end all my that—I fully forgive you!” torment.” Step 2 ______compassion to each person that you need to forgive.

35 Session Four: Steps to Follow to Forgive Other People How to Forgive Other People 36 SESSION FOUR POST SESSION 4: FORGIVE FOR LASTING PEACE Steps to Follow to Forgive Other People Step 5 ______and do good to the person. When you bless the person who wounded you, you are fulfilling your highest 1. Review: Name the three main sections in this session that you must work calling—of responding the way that Jesus did when He was severely and through and include the five steps under the second part. brutally and unfairly and repeatedly wounded. 5.1 Pray to God so that He will bless them from your final prayer: “Lord, I ask you to bless NAME in every way including ______.”

5.2 Ask God to give you an opportunity if possible, to love and do good to them. “Please give me an opportunity to love them and show them the depth 2. Reflect: The person who wants you to forgive the most is God Himself. Why of my forgiveness.” do you think He has brought this course to your attention at this time in your life?

PART THREE The Peace from Forgiving Other People

Prayer ______your sins to God related to your unforgiveness. 3. Respond: Reread the Forgiveness Verifier. Close your eyes and enter the “Dear God—I hereby confess to You my sins of unforgiveness, anger, bitterness, Throne of God through prayer, kneel before His Presence, and ask Him one slander, resentment, hatred, and vengeance. Please forgive me and cleanse me from all unrighteousness! In Jesus Name, Amen.” more time: “Father, is there anyone else You want me to forgive so You can cancel all torment and flood my heart with Your peace?” What happened?

Peace God for helping me to forgive and ending all torment.

Conclusion 4. Resolve: God is waiting for you to fully commit and complete the 5 steps to forgiveness for everyone who has hurt you and for each of those trespasses. The Forgiveness Validator: “Before God, I have forgiven everyone for everything.” Write out a prayer to God of your unstoppable commitment to forgive everyone Use the Forgiveness Validator to check to make sure there aren’t any remaining for everything. people to release or trespasses to forgive—you don’t want torment to continue! The Holy Spirit may bring others you have forgotten. Go through the same process and then repeat the Forgiveness Validator again until you have complete peace and no other name or wound is brought to your mind. That is how you know your toment has been fully canceled.

37 Session Four: Steps to Follow to Forgive Other People How to Forgive Other People 38 DAY DAY 40 DEVOTIONALS Preparing to Steps 1–2 of the 40 DEVOTIONALS Forgive Others Forgiveness Process

WHAT GOD SAYS WHAT GOD SAYS “Also He said to me, “Prophesy to the breath, prophesy, son of man, and “And forgive us our sins, for we also forgive everyone who is indebted say to the breath, ‘Thus says the Lord God: Come from the four winds, to us.” Luke 11:4 O breath, and breathe on these slain, that they may live.’” Ezekiel 37:9 o are you ready to forgive? Up to heart is no longer closed, it is open today had just finished teaching on his heart. In that brief moment he this point, we have been preparing in the presence of God. I now choose to forgiveness. Stepping off the had prepared his heart to forgive his Syou for these most important forgive!” platform, a tall man came and placed offender. As he breathed in, he made next few moments. It’s time to end I Step #2: Extend compassion to the his arm around my shoulder and asked the decision to forgive, he named the the distress and torment from your person who trespassed against you. Now if we could talk for a moment—I told person he wanted to forgive, and he unforgiveness. The only person who that the door of your heart is open, step him sure. We moved to the side of the identified the wounds he needed to wants this more than you is your loving two won’t be that difficult. Extend to the stage, and he began to pour out his forgive him. The life-giving breath the Heavenly Father! It’s time to jump off person in your Heart-Prison the same heart. He told me there was a man who man took that day is the same breath that Slide of Unforgiveness and get rid of compassion you would want someone had hurt him and his family very deeply, we must take in order to prepare our all that stuffed anger, bitterness, slander, you hurt to give to you. Pause. Can you to the point that his family was severely hearts to forgive others. His breath resentment, hatred, and vengeance. It’s feel your heart changing—softening? fractured and had not recovered. represents the all-important final beyond time! Choose to grant them your mercy and Looking straight into my eyes he said, preparation: You must decide and state, kindness, not because they necessarily “There is no way I can forgive that man!” “I choose to forgive XXX right now!” Thankfully, Jesus not only revealed to us deserve it, but because you have decided I could tell he was hurting, broken and that the Father delivers us to the torturers to give them this important gift. You needed to forgive. So I encouraged him THE MULTIPLIER EFFECT until we forgive (the powerful motive to forgive seventy times seven!), but He also recognize that they are a human being and assured him that he could indeed Find a quiet place where you can revealed the specific steps we must follow that makes mistakes just like you, and choose to forgive the man. breathe. Now state out-loud your to ensure we forgave to God’s satisfaction. desperately needs your compassion. decision to forgive. Name the people Then he did something I will never Jesus laid out five specific steps: 1. Open Now with your open heart filled with you will release from prison and forget. He nodded his head, closed his your heart; 2. Extend compassion to the compassion for them, you are ready for forgive. Then make a list of their eyes and then took a deep breath—an person; 3. Release them from your Heart- the final three steps! trespasses and wounds that you are intake of air which caused his entire Prison; 4. Forgive each of their trespasses; going forgive one at a time. Now you chest to swell. When he exhaled from and 5. Bless and do good to them. If you THE MULTIPLIER EFFECT are prepared to forgive. the deep breath he had taken—words follow these powerful steps, you will be Today spend one minute thanking God of forgiveness and blessing flowed from able to forgive everyone for everything. for helping you to open the door of his mouth. He said, “Lord I forgive your heart. Then spend another minute Step #1: Open your heart. Why? Damon, and bless him and his family.” expressing deep gratitude to Him for Because that’s where the infected giving you His compassion for those That single gasp of air that man took wounds reside. Open it wide so every who have wounded you. that day was one of the most important trace of unforgiveness can pass thorough breaths he will ever take. Why? without any obstruction. Don’t allow Because the air he breathed in went yourself to be emotionally closed to not only into his lungs, but entered forgiveness any longer. Declare, “My

39 Week Four: Steps to Forgive Other People A 40 Day Devotional 40 DAY DAY 40 DEVOTIONALS Steps 3–5 of the Asking for God’s 40 DEVOTIONALS Forgiveness Process Forgiveness

WHAT GOD SAYS WHAT GOD SAYS 15looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest “Against You, You only, have I sinned.” Psalm 51:4a any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled; Hebrews 12:15 nforgiveness is a sin, and it is If your head has fallen, lift it up. This is never pleasing in the eyes of the not a time for condemnation, but a time of bacteria that has potential to grow ou’ve almost made it to the Lord. He takes it very seriously, of confession to find forgiveness and “Forgiveness Finish Line.” Your again. On the top a piece of paper, write U and though we may tolerate it in our freedom. God is more eager to forgive the person’s name who wounded you the Yheart that was once closed is hearts, the Father doesn’t. That’s why you than you can imagine. He’s been most and then list all the specific ways now open. Feelings that were once He tells us unforgiveness will prevent waiting for you to ask. So go ahead my their words and actions wounded you. frozen-over due to the frosty chill of our prayers from being answered, and friend—your Father is listening. And Once you have completed your list, forgive anger and pain have been thawed by our sins from being forgiven. And as we He is ready to forgive you now! every sin on the list. Say, “I forgive you the warm fire of your compassion and know, unforgiveness is the very reason mercy. All that remains are these final NAME for wounding me by ______” why the Father removes His inner wall THE MULTIPLIER EFFECT Say it again right from your heart. three steps. of peace from our hearts and delivers Continue until nothing yet remains on With a humble heart, please pray: us into the hands of the tormentors. Step #3: Release the person from your your list. Then do the same for all the “Dear God, today I confess to You my Therefore, after we finally rid ourselves Heart-Prison. Use your imagination people you need to forgive. sin of unforgiveness, anger, bitterness, of unforgiveness by forgiving others, we for a moment. See yourself walking to slander, resentment, hatred, and need to ask God to forgive us. each cell located in your Heart-Prison. Step #5: Bless and do good to the person. vengeance. I am sorry for hurting Your If you can complete this step, it proves you Slowly open the door and say to each Psalms 51 is David’s confession, heart. Please forgive and cleanse me have genuinely forgiven them. You only person that you have held captive, “I when he seeks God forgiveness for from all unrighteousness. In Jesus’ can bless someone that you have forgiven. release you for what you have done committing adultery with Bathsheba name, Amen!” Since you have forgiven them, you are free to me.” Walk into each dark and and killing her husband, Uriah. What’s to ask God’s richest blessing to rain upon musty cell and stretch out your arms important to recognize is who David their lives. Say to the Lord, “Dear God, and embrace them. As you hug each says his sin is ultimately against. please abundantly bless NAME in all areas person, feel God’s love and compassion Yes, David sinned against and with of their life!” bringing life to them and yourself. Bathsheba, and he sinned against Uriah. Allow your heart to rejoice, because you THE MULTIPLIER EFFECT However, listen to his words pouring have done something that needed to be forth from his devastated, desperate done a long time ago. Take a moment and go through all the and broken heart. He says, “Against five steps with each person on your list Step #4: Forgive each trespass one at a You (Lord) only have I sinned.” Though to release everyone from your Heart- time. After releasing the person from we may sin against others, ultimately Prison and then forgive every single your Heart-Prison, forgive them for every sin we commit is against God— wound, one at a time. On day #5, you’ll every wound they have caused. Yes, including the sin of unforgiveness. learn how to be sure you have forgiven every single one. This is like applying a Therefore, we are in need of His everyone for everything! strong disinfectant that kills every germ, forgiveness for holding people in our because you don’t want to leave any trace Heart-Prison, and not forgiving them.

41 Week Four: Steps to Forgive Other People A 40 Day Devotional 42 DAY 40 DEVOTIONALS Using the Unforgiveness Validator

WHAT GOD SAYS Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Psalm 139:23–24

e’ve learned God wants better check with God to make sure. us to forgive everyone It is not uncommon for a person to Wfor everything. So here’s forgive others and be persuaded there is something to think about: How can no unforgiveness remaining until they we know that we have indeed forgiven use the Forgiveness Validator. Using everyone for everything? Can we really the Forgiveness Validator allows God know for sure so that all unforgiveness to make us aware of anything we may torment is canceled? have overlooked. Do you want to be sure you have forgiven everybody for Because God deeply desires that you everything? If so, use the Forgiveness forgive everyone for everything, you Validator: can be sure He will let you know if you have or haven’t completed the forgiveness process for everyone. God THE MULTIPLIER EFFECT will confirm if you have met His total Pray this statement: “Before God, I forgiveness requirement. have forgiven everyone for everything.” God is the only person in the universe Quiet your heart and wait on the that has the ability to peer into the Lord. If He reminds you of a person depths of our hearts. He sees our hearts or wound you overlooked—forgive totally and completely. There is not a immediately. Then pray the Validator single atomic particle hidden from His again. When God’s peace finally fills sight. Therefore, we have to rely upon your heart and no more people or Him to let our hearts know that we wounds surface after a moment of have completely forgiven. The Psalmist silence, then you have forgiven all! understood this truth so he prayed, “Search my heart and see if there is any wicked way in me.” He relied upon God to show him anything in his heart that was not God’s best for his life. We are wise to do the same. Just because we may believe we have forgiven everyone for everything, we

43 Week Four: Steps to Forgive Other People SESSION FIVE God Commits to Handle Vengeance for You

God Commits to Handle PART THREE How to Deal with Your Desire Vengeance for You for Vengeance Introduction 17Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. 18If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. 19Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but PART ONE rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. The Comfort of Vengeance 20Therefore “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.”21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Romans 12:17-21 41So Esau hated Jacob because of the blessing with which his father blessed him, and Esau said in his heart, “The days of mourning for my father are at hand; then I will kill my brother Jacob.” Step 1 Choose to repay no one evil for ______42And the words of Esau her older son were told to Rebekah. So she sent and called Jacob her younger son, and said to him, “Surely your brother Esau comforts himself concerning you by 17Repay no one evil for evil. Romans 12:17a intending to kill you.” Genesis 27:41-42

1 Vengeance desires or inflicts harm upon the person who caused you ______Step 2 Plan ahead to respond to those doing evil against you with ______17Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. Romans 12:17b 2 Vengeance begins in the wounded person due to feelings of ______17Take thought for what is honest and proper and noble [aiming to be above reproach] in the sight 3 Vengeance remains in the heart due to the Slide of ______of everyone. Romans 12:17b Amplified Version 4 Vengeance deepens over time and produces emotional ______Step 3 Never seek vengeance yourself against anyone, anytime, for ______19Beloved, do not avenge yourselves. Romans 12:19a

PART TWO Is the Desire for Vengeance Sinful? Step 4 Delegate your wrath to God who claims all vengeance is ______19Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine,” says the Lord. Romans 12:19 1 The desire for vengeance exists in sinless heaven in martyred ______9When He opened the fifth seal, I saw under the altar the souls of those who had been slain for the Step 5 Believe God keeps His promises taking out vengeance for______10 word of God and for the testimony which they held. And they cried with a loud voice, saying, 19 “How long, O Lord, holy and true, until You judge and avenge our blood on those who dwell on “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. Romans 12:19c the earth?” Revelation 6:9-10 3For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; 4that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, 5not in passion 2 God views taking vengeance on those troubling you as ______of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God; 6that no one should take advantage of and defraud 4So that we ourselves boast of you among the churches of God for your patience and faith in all your his brother in this matter, because the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also forewarned you and persecutions and tribulations that you endure, 6since it is a righteous thing with God to repay with testified. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-6 tribulation those who trouble you, 7and to give you who are troubled rest with us when the Lord Jesus is revealed from heaven with His mighty angels, 8in flaming fire taking vengeance. Step 6 Because vengeance is exacted, release yourself to show ______2 Thessalonians 1:4, 6-8a 20Therefore “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in so doing 3 God Himself vows to take vengeance on those who are His ______you will heap coals of fire on his head.” Romans 12:20 39“Now see that I, even I, am He, and there is no God besides Me; I kill and I make alive; I wound 40 and I heal; nor is there any who can deliver from My hand. For I raise My hand to heaven, and Do not allow yourself to be overcome by evil—overcome with ______say, ‘As I live forever, 41if I whet My glittering sword, and My hand takes hold on judgment, I Step 7 will render vengeance to My enemies, and repay those who hate Me.’” Deuteronomy 32:39-41 21Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Romans 12:21

45 Session Five: God Commits to Handle Vengeance for You The Shocking Revelation About God’s Forgiveness 46 SESSION FIVE POST SESSION 5: FORGIVE FOR LASTING PEACE God Commits to Handle Vengeance for You PART FOUR How to Express to God Your Desire 1. Review: In your own words, define vengeance and explain the two options for Vengeance you have when you want vengeance. What must you do to make your desire 1 Jeremiah: 12But, O LORD of hosts, You who test the righteous, and see the mind and heart, for vengeance acceptable to God? let me see Your vengeance on them; for I have pleaded my cause before You. Jeremiah 20:12

2 David: 11Moreover, my father, see! Yes, see the corner of your robe in my hand! For in that I cut off the corner of your robe, and did not kill you, know and see that there is neither evil nor rebellion in my hand, and I have not sinned against you. Yet you hunt my life to take it. 12Let the LORD judge between you and me, and let the LORD avenge me on you. But my hand shall not be against you. 15Therefore let the LORD be judge, and judge between you and me, and see and plead my case, and deliver me out of your hand.” 1 Samuel 24:11-12, 15 2. Reflect: You may have been shocked that the desire for vengeance is not sinful, but taking out vengeance for yourself is sinful. Describe a time when you either took out vengeance on another person or someone you hurt took out vengeance on you. PART FIVE Consider Extending Mercy Instead of Vengeance 1 Jesus Christ: 33And when they had come to the place called Calvary, there they crucified Him, and the criminals, one on the right hand and the other on the left. 34Then Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.” Luke 23:33-34a

2 Stephen: 59And they stoned Stephen as he was calling on God and saying, “Lord Jesus, 3. Respond: In your life, what person did you want vengeance against the most? 60 receive my spirit.” Then he knelt down and cried out with a loud voice, “Lord, do not charge What did they do? Why did you want vengeance? How did you handle your them with this sin.” And when he had said this, he fell asleep. Acts 7:59-60 desire?

3 Paul: 14Alexander the coppersmith did me much harm. May the Lord repay him according to his works. 15You also must beware of him, for he has greatly resisted our words. 16At my first defense no one stood with me, but all forsook me. May it not be charged against them. 2 Timothy 4:14-16

4 Solomon: 17Do not rejoice when your enemy falls, and do not let your heart be glad when he 18 stumbles; lest the LORD see it, and it displease Him, and He turn away His wrath from him. 4. Resolve: There’s only one reason that people don’t choose to forgive others— Proverbs 24:17-18 they want vengeance. It’s understandable, isn’t it? Write a prayer to God fully embracing His promise to take out righteous vengeance on your behalf—and Conclusion that you will never take out vengeance yourself. 20For what credit is it if, when you are beaten for your faults, you take it patiently? But when you do good and suffer, if you take it patiently, this is commendable before God. 21For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps: 22“Who committed no sin, nor was deceit found in His mouth”; 23who, when He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously. 1 Peter 2:20-23

47 Session Five: God Commits to Handle Vengeance for You The Shocking Revelation of God’s Forgiveness - Discussion Questions 48 DAY DAY 40 DEVOTIONALS What Exactly Is The Comfort of 40 DEVOTIONALS Vengeance? Vengeance

WHAT GOD SAYS WHAT GOD SAYS “You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a So Esau hated Jacob because of the blessing with which his father tooth’ but I tell you not to resist an evil person. But whoever slaps you blessed him, and Esau said in his heart, “The days of mourning for my on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. If anyone wants to sue father are at hand; then I will kill my brother Jacob.” And the words of you and take away your tunic, let him have your cloak also. And whoever Esau her older son were told to Rebekah. So she sent and called Jacob compels you to go one mile, go with him two.” Matthew 5:38-41 her younger son, and said to him, “Surely your brother Esau comforts himself concerning you by intending to kill you.” Genesis 27:41–42 hat exactly is vengeance? Vengeance creates a mighty dam that Vengeance is the act or prevents forgiveness from flowing he desire for vengeance is not made Shari attempted to persuade her friend Wdesire to harm someone outward to others, upward towards of sugar, spice and things that are to forgive those who wronged her, she for the injustices and injuries they God, and inward towards ourselves. Tnice. The desire for payback is a immediately refused. committed against us. Vengeance Vengeance may be what we all desire consequence of painful and traumatic She heatedly told Shari, “It is great that you demands that the offender pays-in-full when wrongfully treated, but it refuses injuries that we suffered at the hands of have turned your life around, but when for what they did. This passionate and to give every person who was created others. But what we don’t realize is the I get out of here, a few people are going powerful desire for payback is what in the image of God what their souls pain from the earlier injustice is greatly to pay for ratting on me to the police!” makes forgiving others so difficult. desperately wish for and needs— multiplied by the torment we are under Shari’s friend had been comforting herself As you learned earlier, the seventh and undeserved forgiveness! Today spend because of our unwillingness to forgive. during those years in jail by planning how final stage in the downward Slide of one minute thanking God for helping This pain and distress creates a powerful she was going to get even. Every day she Forgiveness is the obsessive desire for, you to open the door of your heart. desire to find comfort. As you read in secretly soothed her troubled heart by and actions leading to, our taking out Then spend another minute expressing Genesis 27, the desire and planning for picturing the suffering she would cause in vengeance. deep gratitude to Him for giving you vengeance can bring us comfort: “Esau the lives of the people who betrayed her. His compassion for those who have comforts himself concerning you by No one can debate that natural wounded you. intending to kill you.” response to your life having been THE MULTIPLIER EFFECT painfully damaged by another person’s THE MULTIPLIER EFFECT Recently, I had a conversation with a Look inside the cells in your Heart-Prison. evil actions and intentions is the desire young woman name Shari who had lived Take a moment and jot down on your Do you have anyone that you’ve locked for justice. You’ve suffered greatly a hard life. Over the last several years, away and thrown away the key? Do you and it’s only fair that you see to it they smart phone or a sheet of paper a few God miraculously turned her life around. ways vengeance has prevented you from experience comfort in hoping they will suffer greatly as well. Right? Well, Now she volunteers her time helping suffer greatly for what they did to you? not necessarily. But why? Because, forgiving those who have wrongfully younger girls overcome the difficulties wounded you. Then write down three How does God feel about the source of although no one on the face of the that she faced when she was their age. your comfort? earth deserves forgiveness for an act ways your life and their life would be of planned wickedness against us, different if you overcame vengeance Shari wept as she shared about a every single person on earth needs with forgiveness. conversation she had with her close friend forgiveness. who was in prison. Her friend was proud of Shari for changing her life and even congratulated her. However, when

49 Week Five: God Commits to Handle Vengeance for You A 40 Day Devotional 50 DAY DAY 40 DEVOTIONALS Is the Desire for How to Deal with 40 DEVOTIONALS Vengeance Sinful? Your Desire for Vengeance

WHAT GOD SAYS WHAT GOD SAYS When He opened the fifth seal, I saw under the altar the souls of Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all those who had been slain for the word of God and for the testimony men. If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all which they held. And they cried with a loud voice, saying, “How long, men. Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for O Lord, holy and true, until You judge and avenge our blood on those it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. Romans 12:17-19 who dwell on the earth?” Revelation 6:9-10 he reason we aren’t to take out her wicked boss suddenly died. After o enjoy true freedom from the So, stop beating up yourself and allowing vengeance is because God has he died, his wife came looking for the bondage of vengeance, you must the enemy to condemn you for having Tclaimed all vengeance for Himself. wronged woman and gave her back the Tunderstand a shocking truth that a desire for justice that is by no means “Vengeance is Mine; I will repay.” This apartment, her money and provided a you may never have considered before. Is offensive to God. Your initial desire for can be hard for us to believe and accept, car. God’s vengeance not only took care of the desire for vengeance evil? Revelation vengeance is not sinful, but keeping it especially when we are in pain and the her boss, but God’s grace provided for her 6 reveals a surprising revelation about alive by not forgiving the person always person that hurt us seems to being doing needs. Her entire family came to faith in what’s on the mind of those martyrs who degenerates into unforgiveness, which is great. When it comes to vengeance, we Christ and started attending and serving are in heaven: “How long, O Lord, holy sinful. want it now. We want to see the person in that same church! and true, until You judge and avenge suffer— today. However, the Bible our blood?” These saints powerfully What then is the solution? Realize that reveals that the only place for our desire Allow the Spirit of God to drive this truth desired vengeance—right in the middle of your desire for vengeance is not evil or for vengeance is in the faithful hands deeply into your hearts today: Never allow heaven! Therefore their desire could not sinful unless you do not handle it God’s of God. He not only claims vengeance a desire for vengeance to remain in your be wicked! way when you are mistreated. We must as His alone, but He promises “I will heart. Instead, first forgive the person; and forgive quickly and thoroughly, and repay.” If God permitted you to watch His second, place your full confidence in God’s They are in the most Holy Place, pleading then immediately delegate our desire for vengeance on the person who wounded promise to take vengeance on your behalf. with God to pay back those who wronged vengeance to Someone who will justly you, you would certainly say, “That’s God never breaks His promises! We are them. This outright cry for vengeance fulfill it on our behalf. We’ll explore this enough! Justice has been fulfilled.” never to act upon our desire for vengeance is something we did not expect to see fascinating truth more tomorrow. ourselves. Vengeance does not belong in heaven. We probably all figured the Years ago, I witnessed firsthand how God to us; vengeance only belongs to God— desire for vengeance is sinful, and always THE MULTIPLIER EFFECT took out vengeance for an innocent woman and God alone. displeasing to God. However, that is not Do you still have a desire for vengeance? I met while preaching at a church in South the case. America. She was a single mother and her THE MULTIPLIER EFFECT employer used some corrupt law official to Pray and ask God to take out vengeance In fact, our Holy God, who cannot sin, rob her blind. He stole her apartment, her on your behalf. both desires and will carry out His desire car, and even the money out of her account. for vengeance! 2 Thessalonians 1:8 reveals She was left destitute. I remember praying that God will take out vengeance at the with her and encouraging her to place her Second Coming of Jesus “in flaming fire desire for vengeance directly in God’s hand. taking vengeance on those who do not know God, and on those who do not obey Within three months of her prayer for the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ.” God to take out vengeance on her behalf,

51 Week Five: God Commits to Handle Vengeance for You A 40 Day Devotional 52 DAY 40 DEVOTIONALS Consider Extending Mercy Instead of Vengeance

WHAT GOD SAYS And they stoned Stephen as he was calling on God and saying, “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.” Then he knelt down and cried out with a loud voice, “Lord, do not charge them with this sin.” And when he had said this, he fell asleep. Acts 7:59–60

eep pain caused by social personal, national and global level. The injustices, such as poverty, choice of mercy instead of retribution! racial prejudice, classism, D Mercy extinguishes the flame of hatred and pride, have fueled the flames of vengeance for centuries. vengeance that burns within our souls. Every culture and race has it’s own lists Mercy says to vengeance “Move over; of wounds and transgressions it has there is no need for you in my heart. experienced. Many of these infractions I’ve settled the issue; I’ve forgiven and happened long ago, but the flames are granted the offender mercy. The case is still burning white-hot, consuming closed. I no longer desire payback for the beauty of life God desires us to those who have hurt me. I have chosen experience with one another today. to give them the gift Jesus gave me— mercy, grace, and forgiveness!” When you study how different people dealt with their desire for vengeance, THE MULTIPLIER EFFECT you discover three different alternatives: Take time today to pray. Ask God to First, many people sought to take out help you extend mercy to those who vengeance themselves; Second, others need it from you. Also, pray for your placed their trust in God that He would nation and the world that people take out vengeance on their behalf; but everywhere would abandon their Third, and most surprising, some asked desire for vengeance by forgiving their God not to take out just vengeance for enemies and choosing mercy. them. You see, another choice exists whenever we have been unjustly treated: We can intercede and ask God to grant the person mercy instead of judgment. Stephen requested mercy for those who were unjustly murdering him: “Lord, do not charge them with this sin.” What Stephen chose is the same godly virtue that will restore relationships on a

53 Week Five: God Commits to Handle Vengeance for You SESSION SIX How Can God Forgive Anyone for Everything?

2 God felt wrath toward us due to our willful ______How Can God Forgive 1And you He made alive, who were dead in trespasses and sins, 2in which you once walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit Anyone for Everything? who now works in the sons of disobedience, 3among whom also we all once conducted ourselves Introduction in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, just as the others. Ephesians 2:1-3 36“He who believes in the Son has everlasting life; and he who does not believe the Son shall not PART ONE How Does God Personally Experience Our Disobedience? see life, but the wrath of God abides on him.” John 3:36 3 God decreed from creation that disobedience results in the death ______1 God reveals He is our Father and we are His ______16And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, “Of every tree of the garden you may freely eat; 26And He has made from one blood every nation of men to dwell on all the face of the earth, and 17but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you 27 has determined their preappointed times and the boundaries of their dwellings, so that they eat of it you shall surely die.” Genesis 2:16-17 should seek the Lord, in the hope that they might grope for Him and find Him, though He is not 23 far from each one of us. 29Therefore, since we are the offspring of God….” Acts 17:26-27, 29a For the wages of sin is death. Romans 6:23a

2 God views our disobedience as directly against Him ______4 God’s justice required the same sins result in the same penalty: Eternal ______4 9 For if God did not spare the angels who sinned, but cast them down to hell and delivered them into 2.1 God was Crushed: I was crushed by their adulterous heart which has departed from Me, chains of darkness, to be reserved for judgment. 2 Peter 2:4 and by their eyes which play the harlot after their idols. Ezekiel 6:9b 41“Then He will also say to those on the left hand, ‘Depart from Me, you cursed, into the everlasting 5 2.2 God was Grieved: Then the Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, fire prepared for the devil and his angels.‘ ” Matthew 25:41 6 and that every intent of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. And the 12 Lord was sorry that He had made man on the earth, and He was grieved in His heart. And the dead were judged according to their works, by the things which were written in the books. 13The sea gave up the dead who were in it, and Death and Hades delivered up the dead who Genesis 6:5-6 14 10 were in them. And they were judged, each one according to his works. Then Death and Hades For forty years I was grieved with that generation, and said, ‘It is a people who go were cast into the lake of fire. This is the second death. 15And anyone not found written in the astray in their hearts, and they do not know My ways.” Psalm 95:10 Book of Life was cast into the lake of fire. Revelation 20:12b-15 2.3 God’s Sympathy was Stirred: 8“How can I give you up, Ephraim? How can I hand you over, Israel? How can I make you like Admah? How can I set you like Zeboiim? My heart churns within Me; My sympathy is stirred. Hosea 11:8 2.4 God Deeply Desires Obedience: 29“Oh, that they had such a heart in them that they would PART THREE How Did God Handle His Grief and fear Me and always keep all My commandments, that it might be well with them and with Wounds by His Children? their children forever!” Deuteronomy 5:29 1 God kept His holy heart open to all of us and sought a just ______3 God experiences our neglect and rebellion with grief and ______2 God’s solution must pay the death penalty by a sinless 3And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him; He was despised, and we did not esteem Him. How Did God React and Judge Our 4Surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; Yet we esteemed Him stricken, smitten PART TWO by God, and afflicted.5 But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our Sin and Rebellion? iniquities; The chastisement for our peace was upon Him, and by His stripes we are healed. 6All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned, every one, to his own way; And the LORD 1 God viewed us, because of our rebellion and sin, as His ______has laid on Him the iniquity of us all. 10 8 10 Yet it pleased the LORD to bruise (crushed) Him; He has put Him to grief. When You While we were still sinners. When we were enemies. Romans 5:8b, 10a make His soul an offering for sin. Isaiah 53:3b-6; 10a 21For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him. 2 Corinthians 5:21

55 Session Six: How Can God Forgive Anyone for Everything? The Shocking Revelation About God’s Forgiveness 56 SESSION SIX How Can God Forgive Anyone for Everything?

3 God was “pleased” to send His Son to die because He loved us like ______6For when we were still without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. 7For scarcely for PART FIVE How Can God Forgive Me for All My Sins a righteous man will one die; yet perhaps for a good man someone would even dare to die. 8But God and Yet Not Forgive Me? demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. 14 Romans 5:6-8 “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your 23 “That the world may know that You have sent Me, and have loved them as You have loved trespasses.” Matthew 6:14-15 Me.” John 17:23b Type 1: God’s Forgiveness Type 2: Our Forgiveness 4 God sent Jesus to satisfy His wrath by full payment for everyone’s ______Forgiveness for Forgiveness for 9In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him. 10In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 1 John 4:9-10 2 And He Himself is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the whole 1 Universal Problem for All Mankind Universal Problem for all Believers world. 1 John 2:2 13 He has delivered us from the power of darkness and conveyed us into the kingdom of the Son of 2 Focus is on Life after Death Focus is on Life before Death His love, 14in whom we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins. Colossians 1:13-14 3 Problem: Requirement of the Death Penalty Problem: Requirement of Our Forgiveness

4 God’s Compassion for Us Our Compassion for Others and Ourselves

5 Will God Forgive Us? Will We forgive Others and Ourselves? PART FOUR How Did God Provide for Man to Receive His Forgiveness? 6 Saved from Torment in ______Saved from Torment on ______1 God paid the penalty through Jesus and offered that Sacrifice as a ______7 Torment Never Stops after Death Torment Immediately Stops upon Forgiveness 23For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 6:23 8 Faith in Christ’s Substitutionary Death Obedience to God’s Forgiveness Requirement 2 God cannot permit man to pay the death penalty by good ______9 “Believe and you shall be saved” “Forgive and you shall be set free” 8For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, 9not of works, lest anyone should boast. Ephesians 2:8-9 10 By Christ’s Work for our Forgiveness By My Work of Forgiveness 3 God only requires faith in Christ’s substitutionary death for ______11 Christ’s Gift to Everyone Our Gift to Anyone “16For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. 17For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.” John 3:16-17 12 Wages of Sin is ______Wages of Sin is ______12But as many as received Him (Jesus), to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name. John 1:12 Conclusion 9In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him. 10In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 1 John 4:9-10

57 Session Six: How Can God Forgive Anyone for Everything? The Shocking Revelation About God’s Forgiveness 58 POST SESSION 6: FORGIVE FOR LASTING PEACE DAY 40 DEVOTIONALS How Can God Forgive Anyone for Everything? How Does God

1. Review: Look back over the class notes and summarize what you learned Experience Our Disobedience? about God from this session. WHAT GOD SAYS “Then those of you who escape will remember Me among the nations where they are carried captive, because I was crushed by their adulterous heart which has departed from Me, and by their eyes which play the harlot after their idols; they will loathe themselves for the evils which they committed in all their abominations.” Ezekiel 6:9 2. Reflect: What did God do to be able to forgive you for every one of your sins? Think about that for a moment: What do God’s actions prove to you about how he depth of God’s love for each Why can we affect God’s heart in such deeply God loves you? of us surpasses our finite ability a deep and personal way? Because Tto comprehend. His care and He is our Heavenly Father, and affection is on a scale that infinitely we are His children! God is more outweighs any love we could have for our Father than even our earthly anyone. The Bible reveals that God fathers. His Fatherly love toward us views us as His offspring, meaning is beyond comprehension. Therefore, that we are literally His children (Acts even though He is God, His heart is 17:29) and the center of His divine vulnerable and suffers great pain and 3. Respond: Write out a prayer to God expressing your complete faith in Christ’s affection. For us to think or believe endures great wounds whenever we sin death on the cross for you and your heartfelt acceptance and belief in His shed that God is distant and emotionally against Him. blood as full payment for all your sins. If you accepted Christ today, share this disconnected from us is the furthest great eternal victory with someone! thing from the truth. God’s heart is How on earth, then, can the Almighty so closely intertwined in our lives that God ever forgive you and me for the everything we do affects Him. His deep repeated wounds we give Him? Until love for us is the underlying reason God you can start identifying with how a said to his rebellious children, “I was loving parent feels grief and pain from crushed by your sinful rebellion against their rebellious and disobedient child Me.” To be emotionally crushed means and also how God feels, you won’t 4. Resolve: God offers you salvation through Christ’s Death; but God also warns that God’s heart was deeply wounded. be able to come to grips with God’s you of His discipline if you continue in any unforgiveness or sin. Confess to challenge to forgive us. The larger the God and repent for any remaining unforgiveness and personal sin to end God’s The Scripture is filled with many other heart of love, the greater potential pain discipline and enjoy an abundant life of peace and joy. passages that reveal how our decisions from the wounds. and actions affect God’s heart. There THE MULTIPLIER EFFECT are times when the Bible allows us to see God’s delight in His children Reflect back on how you felt when the when they obey and love Him with all person you loved the most hurt you their hearts. Other times, however, deeply. Now, think back over your life we hear God expressing His grief to the times you sinned and rebelled and heartbreak over His beloved’s against your Heavenly Father. Did you disobedience and rebellion. ever crush His heart?

59 The Shocking Revelation of God’s Forgiveness - Discussion Questions A 40 Day Devotional 60 DAY DAY 40 DEVOTIONALS How Did God React and How Did God Handle 40 DEVOTIONALS Judge Our Sin and Rebellion? His Grief and Heart-Wounds?

WHAT GOD SAYS WHAT GOD SAYS

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Romans 3:23 For the wages of sin is death. Romans 6:23a

ur culture tends to minimize Unforgiven sin leaves God no other hen wounded deeply by But, in God’s utter brilliance, He sought the seriousness of sin and its option but to judge it. If He failed another’s damaging attitude for an answer to His own stated penalty. Oconsequences. Unfortunately, to judge sin, it would violate His just Wor action, we can find it very He couldn’t undo His decree of the too many of us despise and discard and righteous nature. He will not difficult to open our hearts and forgive death penalty, but He knew there must God’s revealed moral code—His Holy and cannot close His eyes or forever them. Tragically, some of us experienced be an escape somehow. God couldn’t standards for life. In fact, much of wink at our transgressions. Either His a traumatic wound that led to our endure the thought of losing His beloved the world is intent on not only tearing wrath will be released or somehow be unfortunate decision to never forgive the children forever! His solution? To down God’s standards, but replacing appeased. (We will reflect upon this person for the rest of our life. God could find a person that never sinned, who them with the exact opposite. But our tomorrow.) have closed His heart and decided never would be willing to take the place of the temporal opinions can never change to forgive us, couldn’t He? He certainly condemned. A substitute. Someone who God’s eternal standards. Sin does exist, Lastly, the price tag associated with sin would be justified to do so. could fulfill the just requirements of His sin is serious, and when we sin, we is far too expensive for any of us to pay. decree by shedding their innocent blood break God’s heart. The Bible reveals that the wages of sin But consider the depth of love in God’s for someone else. is death. Physical death, yes; but more heart—our heavenly Father who has been God is Holy; in Him there is no sin seriously, spiritual death. If we don’t wounded not one time, but innumerable But, alas, every single person chose to whatsoever. When we sin against God experience God’s forgiveness, we will be times by the people He loves so deeply. sin—“for all have sinned”—so, no one and live in rebellion to His will and separated from God for all eternity in He has suffered multiple wounds from could stand for another, as they must nature, we fall under His judgment hell. Whatever we do in life, we must every single person that has ever walked pay their own penalty. And God still felt and discipline. This parental judgment find and receive God’s only solution the face of the earth. However, despite great wrath because of all the ongoing does not extinguish His love for us, that enables Him to forgive our sins. the unfathomable pain He suffered, God disobedience, so how could His wrath but it means we have temporarily If not, then God’s justice demands that never closed His heart to His beloved be appeased? His justice required full aligned ourselves with the darkness, we must pay for our own sins. offspring. His heart has always remained payment—until He could say, “Enough! and not with Him. If we are not open, and ready to forgive all, every single The payment is sufficient; I have wrath living according to His purpose and THE MULTIPLIER EFFECT one of us. no more. You are fully and eternally good will—we are striving against Throughout today, meditate on your forgiven.” Tomorrow reveals God’s God loves all of mankind so deeply that God because we are living in sin and predicament. All of us have sinned and shocking answer. He sought for a solution to our rebellion rebellion, directly in opposition to Him therefore are under the wrath of God. and disobedience. But He decreed the personally. Only by discovering and responding to THE MULTIPLIER EFFECT penalty for sin against Him in the Garden God’s solution can we ever find eternal It’s not until we come to the firm The seriousness of sin cannot be of Eden—the death penalty. Nothing has forgiveness. conclusion that not only are we sinners trivialized. Sin causes God to feel wrath changed. The wages (payment) for our in God’s sight, but we have no choice towards us. Sin requires punishment. sin remains the death penalty. In other but to pay the eternal death penalty in The only way to avoid God’s wrath words, the penalty is final. Anything hell—that we are fully prepared to grasp and righteous judgment is for Him we may try to do won’t undo or take the the unspeakable grace of God in His great to choose to forgive us for those sins. place of the death penalty. solution.

61 Week Six: How God Can Forgive Anyone for Everything A 40 Day Devotional 62 DAY DAY 40 DEVOTIONALS God’s Greatest How Can God Forgive All 40 DEVOTIONALS Gift Was Our Forgiveness My Sins and Yet Not Forgive Me?

WHAT GOD SAYS WHAT GOD SAYS But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also sinners, Christ died for us. Much more then, having now been justified by forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither His blood, we shall be saved from wrath through Him. For if when we were will your Father forgive your trespasses.” Matthew 6:14-15 enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life. Romans 5:8-10 hen we placed our faith in recognize a second type of forgiveness Jesus Christ, God forgave is in view. Eternal forgiveness is a gift; omewhere in the corridors of God the Father continues, “They will us for all of our sins. This relational forgiveness requires our work. eternity, God the Father turned to understand that I so loved the world W act of His forgiveness resulted in our SJesus Christ, His Only Begotten that I gave My only begotten Son, that eternal salvation, meaning through Jesus’ Think about it this way: All of your sins Son, and said, “I would like You to whoever believes in Him should not sacrificial death we have been delivered can be forgiven for eternal life; but your perish but have everlasting life.” John give Your life as a sacrifice for the sins from the penalty and power of sin and sins of unforgiveness will not be forgiven of My children who have sinned and 3:16 (emphasis added) death. We were then miraculously until you forgive the other person. broken My heart. Despite what they In view of this great gift that we have transferred from the kingdom of Satan Neither one affects the other—eternal have done, I love every one of them forgiveness grants you heaven while and My soul aches to turn their hearts been given, how are we to respond? into the kingdom of Jesus Christ. Our Are we to work so we can pay for what identities were changed, so we are no forgiveness of others on earth grants you a back to Me. Would You be willing to restored relationship without any ongoing go to earth and pay the price for their we contributed to necessitate Jesus’ longer merely God’s rebellious offspring, discipline. Redemptive forgiveness transgressions and iniquities? To pay death on the cross? Absolutely not; but now His dearly loved and adopted the death penalty for all of their sins?” it’s impossible! As Jesus announced children, members of His eternal family. makes us right with God, and relational Jesus responded, “Father, I love them to heaven and earth, “It is finished.” Our eternal destiny is heaven and no forgiveness keeps us right with God. That’s why none of our good works can like You do and will go for You.” At longer hell. Because we are God’s forgiven children, the prophesied moment of time, Jesus affect what’s already been finished by He expects and commands us to become left the glories of heaven to fulfill His Jesus 2,000 years ago! Friend, all we are But the Bible reveals a second type like Him in all of our ways—especially by painful redemptive destiny on an old required by God to do is to accept the of forgiveness in addition to eternal rugged cross. gift of Christ’s substitutionary death on salvation. This type of forgiveness doesn’t practicing forgiveness to all who wound our behalf to be partakers of His great focus on heaven but on our lives on earth. us. Your unforgiveness toward God’s Hanging on the cross, beaten, bruised salvation! The first type of forgiveness grants us other children is unacceptable, especially and bloodied, imagine Jesus hearing eternal redemption in heaven; the second when you realize what God had to suffer His Father whispering “I’m taking all THE MULTIPLIER EFFECT to forgive us--the death of His own Son. the sins of everyone from Adam to the type of forgiveness grants us ongoing If you have never placed your faith in relationship with God while living on last person that will ever live, every sin Jesus Christ, now is the moment to earth. Jesus revealed this second type of THE MULTIPLIER EFFECT that they will ever commit past, present do so. Pray, “Dear God, thank you for and future, and I’m sovereignly placing sending Jesus to die for my sins. Please forgiveness in Matthew 6:14-15, that God Release your heart to rejoice in God’s them on You as their sinless substitute. forgive me for how I have disobeyed will only forgive us if we forgive others. forgiveness of all your sins today. Thank You are paying the death penalty for and hurt You. I believe Christ died God for His precious salvation through everyone. Because of Your selfless To forgive others is something we must in my place. Please come into my life do—a work that we must accomplish. Jesus. Commit to never again practice sacrifice, the world will know the today as my Savior and Lord. In Jesus’ Since our salvation is not by works unforgiveness against anyone—ever! greatest gift you and I could ever give name, Amen.” them: Forgiveness for all their sins and (Ephesians 2:8-10), you automatically eternal life with us forever!”

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LifeChanging Curriculum. Local and Global Impact. SESSION SEVEN What Happens When You Don’t Forgive Yourself

PART THREE The Experience of the Person Who Won’t What Happens When You Forgive Themselves Don’t Forgive Yourself Stages in the Slide of Unforgiveness Introduction Results in the Life of the Person Who Won’t Forgive Themselves

PART ONE The Lack of Answered Prayers Stage 1 ______toward Yourself. You don’t feel that you can ever for- give yourself for what you did—whether intentionally or accidentally—due to the amount of pain or or Miracles damaging consequences that cannot be undone. You have numerous flashbacks of what you have done. You can’t forgive yourself for what you did to others and to yourself. 22So Jesus answered and said to them, “Have faith in God. 23For assuredly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be removed and be cast into the sea,’and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says. 24Therefore I say to Stage 2 ______toward Yourself. As time progresses, you feel trapped and try to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have stuff the painful memories. Often you feel unrelated anger and may overreact with your temper and them. 25And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that lash out. Or, you may continue to suppress the memories and suffer from increasing and stubborn your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. 26But if you do not forgive, neither depression. will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses.” Mark 11:22-26 Stage 3 ______toward Yourself. You change during this stage in the Unforgiveness Slide and can become hard, untrusting, rebellious, sullen, withdrawn. Often the internal distress becomes so strong that you start considering sinful acts and inappropriate PART TWO The Negative LifeChange from relationships to give you comfort. Unforgiveness Stage 4 ______toward Yourself. You talk down about yourself with negative 1 You develop the habitual response to being hurt of self-talk and then hear yourself criticizing yourself to others—“I’m not worth anything, I’m stupid, I’m damaged goods, I’m always going to be a failure.” You know the terrible things you have done.

2 You fear being hurt again, and build walls around your ______Stage 5 ______toward Yourself. You keep track of all the “stupid” things that you say and “hurtful” things you do—even innocently. Things that never used to bother you now become 2.1 You build walls around your heart to stop people from hurting you. additional reasons for your failures. You link previous mistakes and/or sins to a whole series of reasons that justifies your worthlessness and the negative conditions. Addictions are rampant in this stage 2.2 You experience the slow death and shriveling up of your emotions. such as pornography, alcoholism, drug abuse, physical and sexual abuse, adultery, prescription drugs for anxiety—anything to release the tension that gnaws away at you. 2.3 You enjoy fewer and fewer loving and affectionate feelings. Stage 6 ______toward Yourself. Your life continues to prove that there’s nothing worthy 2.4 You notice that your heart has become hard and insensitive. about you—you feel inferior, bad, unlovable, or incompetent. You can’t stand to be by yourself and yet don’t feel worthy to be with anyone else either—you become increasingly fearful. After all, if they knew what 2.5 You respond to further wounds by increasing your heart walls. you’ve done—who would want to be with you? Self-hatred is a terrible condition that generates nothing but harm and pain. You are tempted or practice self-destructive behavior such as alcohol and drug abuse, promiscuity (who would ever want me except for sex). Often you withdraw and feel hopeless and powerless 3 You mistrust people and misread their actions and ______to make any changes.

4 You develop feelings of insecurity, poor self-image, and fear of ______Stage 7______toward Yourself. Your inner desire to make yourself pay for what you’ve done builds to the point that you take action. You can’t cope with success because you constantly feel that 5 You become defensive, blame everyone else, and fall into ______you need to pay for the terrible things that you did. You practice self-sabotage—getting fired from your job, spending yourself into terrible debt, breaking long-standing relationships. You may hide very destructive behavior such as eating disorders, cutting yourself, and face suicidal thoughts and may even attempt suicide 6 You struggle with anxiety and depression and sin to find any ______for what you’ve done.

7 You cannot seem to connect with God and struggle with ______Conclusion

67 Session Seven: What Happens When You Don’t Forgive Yourself How to Forgive Yourself 68 POST SESSION 7: FORGIVE FOR LASTING PEACE DAY 40 DEVOTIONALS What Happens When You Don’t Forgive Yourself Your Prayers Can Be 1. Review: Unforgiveness toward yourself for the wounds you committed Hindered by Your Unforgiveness against others and yourself has negative life-change consequences. Read that list and describe any of the seven you saw in yourself. WHAT GOD SAYS “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.” Mark 11:25

couple of weeks ago I spoke discovered was one of the circuit breakers at the National Day of Prayer had been removed from the box. So that Ain Washington D.C. on Mark night there was no prayer because there 11:25: The Greatest Hindrance to was no power in the building. 2. Reflect: Often we find forgiving ourselves more difficult than forgiving others. Describe the reasons why this can be true. Do you have wounds you need to God Answering Our Prayers. Do you Sadly, all of this was the doing of a forgive yourself? List them in a private way below. recognize Christ’s dramatic connection bitter church member. He had locked between prayer and unforgiveness? Jesus the door from the inside of the building makes it explicitly clear, that when you with a chain, and had stolen the ancient pray, the first thing you do is to ensure non-replaceable circuit breaker. you have no unforgiveness or God won’t forgive you—and certainly not answer Days went by and the church was your prayers! without power. Finally, in walks the thief and gives the pastor the circuit 3. Respond: Read through the 7 Stages in the Slide of Unforgiveness toward Years ago a small congregation in our breaker. He was remorseful and begged yourself. You may have “stuffed” those feelings deep in your heart but they city planned on a church wide prayer the pastor and others for forgiveness. remain and affect you. As you prepare for “Steps to Forgive Yourself” in the meeting. In preparation, the pastor They forgave. They took the circuit next session, write out a prayer of your commitment to forgive yourself for arrived at the church at 6:30 p.m. to breaker, placed it in the box and power every wound. open the building. He placed his key in was restored to the church. the lock, turned the knob and pulled on the door. To his surprise, as he tugged The moral of the story: Just like this man’s on the unlocked door, he could not get bitterness and unforgiveness hurt his the door to open more than six inches. church—unforgiveness in our own hearts By the time 7:00 p.m. arrived, all of has the power to hurt us. It robs us of the congregation were milling around, seeing the power of answered prayer and 4. Resolve: Who would ever want to experience those negative consequences awaiting to get into their church to pray. experiencing God’s incredible miracles in or the 7 stages in the Unforgiveness Slide? You can remain free of them for Finally, the pastor gave the door a huge our lives. the rest of your life by deciding and pledging never to go even one day with yank, and the door flung open. But THE MULTIPLIER EFFECT unforgiveness. How about writing your personal pledge about that? the door wasn’t the biggest problem he would face that night. Is the circuit breaker of forgiveness that permits God’s power to flow through Upon entering the building, he discovered your life missing? If so, will you remove there was no electricity. To figure out why, the chain and restore the circuit breaker he and a few of the men took a flashlight by forgiving yourself and others? If you and went down in the basement and do, God’s power will flow and prayers can looked at the old power box. What he be answered.

69 Session Seven: What Happens When You Don’t Forgive Yourself A 40 Day Devotional 70 DAY DAY 40 DEVOTIONALS Negative LifeChange Negative LifeChange 40 DEVOTIONALS from Unforgiveness Part One from Unforgiveness Part Two

WHAT GOD SAYS WHAT GOD SAYS But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith “The lamp of the body is the eye. If therefore your eye is good, your virtue, to virtue knowledge, to knowledge self-control, to self-control whole body will be full of light.” Matthew 6:22 perseverance, to perseverance godliness, to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love. 2 Peter 1:5-7 erception is a powerful force. we see are our past mistakes, sins, and Our perception influences the way the wounds we caused to others and ach of us has certain routines effect. When we don’t forgive the first Pwe see ourselves and others. Also ourselves. Seeing that person staring us in our lives that operate on person, it becomes much easier for us it shapes our beliefs about how we are to in the eyes every day ever so slowly molds Eautopilot. For examples, NBA to not to forgive the second person, live our lives. In order to live a healthy life and changes us into a person shaped by basketball superstar Lebron James the third person, etc. When this habit relationally, emotionally and spiritually, the destructive power of unforgiveness, before the start of every game, will walk is fully in place, we will habitually not we need clear eyes to see life with clarity. and not the loving heart of God. over to the scorer’s table, rub his hands forgive anyone for anything. If we are to see clearly, as Christ instructs in the chalk, clap his hands together, us, we cannot have the thick fog of For people who have long lived with and then toss the residue of the dust up Unforgiveness also nourishes a fear of unforgiveness clouding and distorting our intense unforgiveness toward themselves, in the air. Others of us are hardwired being hurt in the future. This forces view. Unforgiveness causes us to see life in they continue to struggle with sadness, to grab a cup of coffee every morning us to build walls around our hearts a way that is not in accordance with reality depression, and all types of inner turmoil. even before our eyelids reach half-mast. to keep anyone else from hurting us or God’s will. Unforgiveness forces us to Because we don’t love ourselves, we begin Such repetitive behaviors are called more. The higher and thicker the walls change, so we can survive in the hostile to practice isolation and alienation even habits. Habits can either be good or become, the less relational we become. environment created by the torment from our best friends. In time, these heart they can be bad. Usually it is not our Eventually, our habit of stacking those in our hearts caused by our harboring attitudes will make us feel that even God good habits that trouble us but the bad internal bricks will make us a lonely, unforgiveness. has abandoned us. ones. broken and hurt individual. None of us want our lives to change in this God made us and commanded us to love Today we can choose to forgive ourselves All of us know how hard it is to break negative way. There’s good news. Every one another. It is very difficult to love and shatter the distorting lens blocking a bad habit. At times it feels like trying bad habit can be broken—even the ones others when we see every person as an our view. We can then see the person to hammer a nail into a board with our caused by unforgiveness! individual who could potentially wound God wants us to become—forgiven and bare hands. A key to breaking a bad us. Our inability to trust people causes healthy, experiencing God’s peace and joy. habit is understanding the root source THE MULTIPLIER EFFECT us often to misread their actions and The price tag for not forgiving ourselves is that is causing the behavior. One of the Are there some habits you need to misinterpret their motives. just too high for any of us, isn’t it? ways we can identify the source is to break today that are associated with Not only does unforgiveness toward THE MULTIPLIER EFFECT pay close attention to the changes and unforgiveness? If so, why not forgive right ourselves skew our perception of others, behaviors that are occurring in our lives. now and start rebuilding new life-giving “Lord help me to forgive myself today and but it also develops an unhealthy view Take unforgiveness, for instance. When habits! restore my long-lost inner peace and joy!” of ourselves. When we look at ourselves unforgiveness is present in our lives, we through the lens of our unforgiveness, develop some unhealthy habits that cause we can have a very distorted view, filled our lives to change in a negative way. with resentment and even self-hatred. We For example, when unforgiveness is can quickly become insecure and fearful. present in our hearts, it starts a domino Our self-confidence is eroded because all

71 Week Seven: What Happens When You Don’t Forgive Yourself A 40 Day Devotional 72 DAY DAY 40 DEVOTIONALS Stages 1-3 of the Slide Stages 5–7 of the Slide 40 DEVOTIONALS of Not Forgiving Yourself of Not Forgiving Yourself

WHAT GOD SAYS WHAT GOD SAYS “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall. 1 Corinthians 10:12 and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9 esentment toward yourself, such an unworthy and terrible person. amara stood in the middle of bitterness icing over her soul. And her self-hatred and vengeance Self-vengeance is a very heartbreaking the office with her eyes peering self-esteem had reached an all-time Rtoward yourself are the final stage because many of us seriously hurt to the ceiling. Her lips quivered low. Tamara started to plunge headlong three stages we experience when we ourselves at this time. This is so very T don’t forgive ourselves. Resentment sad and totally unnecessary, because all as she fought to hold back her tears. It down the first three stages of the Slide had been several years since she had of Not Forgiving Yourself: Anger, toward yourself is like having a video that’s needed is for us to release ourselves stepped foot in that office not because then bitterness, and then slander as recorder implanted in our hearts. To from that dark Heart-Prison and forgive she wasn’t welcome, but because she she began to practice negative self-talk our own detriment, that recorder keeps each of our wounds. When forgiveness is hadn’t forgiven herself. about herself. a vivid record of our sins and mistakes, complete, no basis for resentment, hatred, replaying them over and over again. or vengeance remains. Three years prior, Tamara was a vital Over and over, looking at the office Even little mistakes that used to never part of this ministry. She had done ceiling, she muttered, “I blew it! I can’t bother us now become big failures. Think back for a moment when you were an excellent job working with young believe what I did. I was so stupid. I’ll Those repeatedly played clips haunt us a child. Do you remember the tall slide women, and the Lord had used her to never forgive myself!” Despite her and make us prone to develop harmful that occupied the most popular spot on impact and touch many lives--until that boss’ words of comfort and love, she addictions to find relief. the playground? While in grade school day which she’d give anything to relive. remained stubbornly unwilling to I was waiting to go down the slide, when forgive herself. To this day, she remains Self-hatred finally sticks its ugly head up a friend stepped in front of me, and said, Tamara was passionate that the an unhappy, angry person, just because and mocks and devalues us as human “You can’t go down this slide right now ministry should make several changes she remains unwilling to give herself beings. With the long list of our painful because another kid just got hurt going so she put together a proposal and the much-needed gift of forgiveness. So mistakes and sins, we attack ourselves down head first.” Friend, allow me to passionately presented it to the leader. much needless pain and suffering. ruthlessly until we no longer just dislike be that friend to you today. Please jump Her boss thanked her for her ideas, but ourselves, but hate everything about off the Slide of Unforgiveness toward did not choose to implement them. THE MULTIPLIER EFFECT us. We no longer feel loved or valuable yourself. God doesn’t want you to hurt Tamara was irate! She verbally accused Why do you think we have such a hard because our festering self-hatred won’t anymore. her boss of being closed-minded, time forgiving ourselves even when we allow it. We seek all kinds of damaging THE MULTIPLIER EFFECT stubborn, a terrible leader, and then know it will lead us to places we do not escape mechanisms such as addictions, slammed the door as she stormed out of want to go? What is it in your deepest drug abuse, pornography, self-cutting and Which of these stages did you identify his office. heart that you have yet to forgive alcohol just to find a moment of peace. with as you read these past devotionals: anger, bitterness, self-slander, resentment, A few years had past and she continued yourself for? Why hold onto that By the time we reach the bottom stage self-hatred, and vengeance toward to feel awful for what she had done. infection even one more day? of vengeance toward ourselves, we are yourself? Wherever you are on the Although her boss and the other fully convinced that we deserve to suffer Slide of Unforgiveness toward yourself, co-workers had totally forgiven her, for our terrible actions and attitudes. you now know that the next step is Tamara could not forgive herself. She We have hurt too many people; we have even worse. Why not decide to forgive daily wrestled in her heart with anger destroyed our life. Therefore, we take yourself completely right how and leap toward herself. She could feel chill of action to punish ourselves for being off that terrible slide!

73 Week Seven: What Happens When You Don’t Forgive Yourself A 40 Day Devotional 74 BSOW#2 TEN COURSES THAT WILL EDUCATE, INSPIRE AND EMPOWER

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LifeChanging Curriculum. Local and Global Impact. SESSION EIGHT Eight Steps to Follow to Forgive Yourself Steps to Follow to Forgive Yourself PART TWO The Process of Forgiving yourself

Introduction Step 1 ______your heart in order to forgive yourself. 34Jesus said to him,“Assuredly, I say to you that this night, before the rooster crows, you will deny “I hereby choose not to protect myself from my heart wounds that I have caused myself Me three times.” 35Peter said to Him, “Even if I have to die with You, I will not deny You!” And by hurting others or myself. I open my heart in order to forgive, set myself free, and end so said all the disciples. 74Then he began to curse and swear, saying, “I do not know the Man!” all torment.” Immediately a rooster crowed. 75And Peter remembered the word of Jesus who had said to him, “Before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times.” So he went out and wept bitterly. Matthew 26:34-35, 74-75 Step 2 ______compassion to yourself as a person. “I am not perfect and make mistakes and commit sins like everyone else. I choose to obey Christ and ‘love myself’ enough to permit myself to grant mercy, grace, and PART ONE The Preparation to Forgive Yourself compassion to myself. I accept reality and no longer deny what I did or deny my need to forgive myself.” Select the greatest wounds that you committed to yourself, and write down what was going on in your life and extend compassion by giving yourself grace Preparation 1 ______you are going to forgive yourself today. and mercy.

What did you do? Describe your Compassion to Yourself Preparation 2 ______the wounds that you caused others that wounded you too. “I hereby ask God to reveal to me those wounds I caused in other people’s lives that may have wounded me as well. Please lead me to those areas You want me to forgive myself.”

Person What did you do to them? How do you feel about that?

______the wounds that you did to yourself. Preparation 3 Step 3 ______yourself from your Heart-Prison and set yourself free. “I also ask God to reveal to me those wounds I caused to myself either through mistakes “I hereby officially open the doors of my Heart-Prison and let myself free. I no longer or through sins. Please lead me to those areas You want me to forgive myself.” hold myself in contempt for what I did. I accept reality—and no longer deny what I did or judge myself for it.”

What did you do that wounded yourself? How do you feel about that? 3.1 Picture yourself standing outside your Heart-Prison. 3.2 Picture yourself also locked inside that cage of prison bars.

3.3 Picture yourself on the outside of the prison door expressing your compassion. 3.4 Picture yourself opening the door, stating, “I release myself fully for what I did!” 3.5 Picture yourself feeling wonderful freedom as you embrace yourself. 3.6 Picture yourself weeping with regret for what you did—but joyful you’re free!

77 Session Eight: Steps to Follow to Forgive Yourself How to Forgive Yourself 78 POST SESSION 8: FORGIVE FOR LASTING PEACE Steps to Follow to Forgive Yourself Step 4 ______yourself for each sin, mistake, and wound. Remember that forgiveness includes both setting yourself free from your Heart-Prison 1. Review: Draw a creative chart or picture that contains every one of the 5 and then forgiving yourself for each wound: “I choose to forgive myself for the wounds Steps to Forgive and name each step on your drawing. I caused to others and the wounds that I caused to myself. Whether I made a terrible mistake or committed a major sin, I choose to forgive myself completely for what I did. I accept reality and I allow myself to heal completely. I forgive myself for wounding NAME by doing ______. I forgive myself for wounding myself when I ______.”

Step 5 ______and make restoration to those who need it. “I will no longer avoid talking about the things I did that wounded other people. I will 2. Reflect: One of the greatest secrets of forgiving yourself is your choice apologize and ask their forgiveness as I have already forgiven myself. If I have stolen to extend compassion to yourself. You are worthy to receive your own or misused something, I will restore if possible to their satisfaction. Through my humility forgiveness! Think though all parts of your life and list three reasons why you of asking for forgiveness, I will help the people I’ve wounded to forgive me and release are indeed worthy to receive the gift of your own compassion. me from any and all debt and trespasses I committed.”

PART THREE The Peace from Forgiving Yourself

3. Respond: Did you forgive yourself for everything and use the Forgiveness Prayer ______your sins to God and ask Him to bless you abundantly. Validator? If you did, then you have already begun to experience God’s peace. “Dear God—I confess to You my sins of unforgiveness toward myself, anger, bitterness Why not write a prayer, thanking God for His forgiveness and for granting you against myself, slander, resentment, self-hatred, and the desire of vengeance—to make myself pay for what I’ve done. I accept the fact that Christ paid for my sins and that courage to forgive yourself? He deserves your appreciation! God has disciplined me for them. I now realize I have suffered needlessly by practicing vengeance upon myself for my sins and mistakes. My self-inflicted suffering was worthless suffering—and was not the will of God. Please forgive me and cleanse me from all unrighteousness. Please bless me in all areas of my life as I no longer have unforgiveness in my life. In Jesus name, Amen.”

4. Resolve: If you are ready, then affirm the following statement of your resolve: Conclusion “I hereby commit to God and to myself to extend compassion and forgive myself the next time I wound another person or myself. I am resolved to The Forgiveness Validator: “Before God, I have forgiven myself for everything.” never again permit any unforgiveness toward myself to ever occur again!” Use the Forgiveness Validator to check to make sure there aren’t any remaining Amen! unforgiveness to yourself—you don’t want torment to continue. The Holy Spirit may bring other things to your mind that you need to forgive yourself. Go through the same process and then repeat the Forgiveness Validator again until you have complete peace and no other wound is brought to your mind. That’s how you know your torment has been fully canceled.

79 Session Eight: Steps to Follow to Forgive Yourself How to Forgive Yourself 80 DAY DAY 40 DEVOTIONALS The Preparation to Steps 1–2 to Forgive 40 DEVOTIONALS Forgive Yourself Yourself

WHAT GOD SAYS WHAT GOD SAYS “Prepare provisions for yourselves, for within three days you will cross “Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed.” John 8:36 over this Jordan, to go in to possess the land which the Lord your God homas was a family man who That’s something for us to ponder—that is giving you to possess.” Joshua 1:11b owned a small store in our no matter what our current condition, ost things that we do in life in spite of the pain you may have caused Tcommunity. The Lord had God’s love for us remains constant! that really matter require to others and yourself, today you are going blessed him with a lovely wife and Thomas then was able to open his heart preparation. And nothing to end your torment by forgiving yourself family. But after a foolish investment and forgive himself for what he had M decision he made gambling on a long done and the deep pain he had caused matters more in our lives than learning to for everything. If Peter could forgive ourselves. Therefore, taking the forgive himself for denying Jesus, and shot, he lost everything he owned and his family. Because of God’s compassion time to prepare our hearts is essential and Paul could forgive himself for his earlier even his store had to close. Before long, toward him, Thomas was able to have worth the effort. life of beating and throwing believers his wife and children were all suffering compassion on himself and forgive into prison, then so can you and I forgive from his decision. Money became himself for everything he had done. Before a big race, a sprinter will spend ourselves. very tight. Thomas’ life then began to hours preparing mentally and emotionally spiral downward. He went on to make Step #1: Open your heart to yourself to run a race that lasts between ten and The final two steps to prepare our even worse decisions including some and stop keeping your pain all locked up. twelve seconds. She will spend an equal hearts to forgive require us to dig into addictive behaviors that soon cost him Step #2: Extend compassion on amount of time stretching to make sure our hearts a bit. Chances are you don’t his marriage and family. yourself instead of continuing to judge her muscles are loose and ready to go. have a shovel close to you, but how and despise yourself. Like Thomas, you If a sprinter is dedicated to spending that about a smart phone or a pencil and For several years he wandered about on the streets of our town, self-condemned are to “love yourself” enough to grant much time to prepare for a race that is paper? Please make two important yourself mercy and compassion. over so quickly, how much more should lists: On your first list write down all and broken. The smile that once shined on his face was covered by a thick we be willing to do whatever it takes to of the wounds you caused others that THE MULTIPLIER EFFECT prepare for an act of obedience to God you still haven’t forgiven yourself. For veneer of darkness. On many occasions that will impact our lives for eternity? your second list, write down all of the I talked with Thomas about hope and Today, open your heart and extend Answer—much, much more! wounds you have done to yourself that restoration, but he would not forgive compassion to yourself and get ready didn’t affect anyone else but you. Write himself for what he had done and the for steps 3-5 tomorrow. Preparing our hearts to forgive ourselves down everything you can think of. pain he had caused his family. begins with making a decision. We all When you have finished those lists then One day while a pastor was working know we never do anything without first your preparation is complete. making a choice, including forgiving outside at his church, Thomas approached him and said that God ourselves. If we are going to forgive, the THE MULTIPLIER EFFECT decision must be made to do so. So why showed him how much he still loved not decide this moment to forgive yourself Let your soul smile today, because him. And that his life still had great for everything? you have prepared your heart to do value to Him despite his sins and something wonderful! In a sentence, failure. In your heart make the choice that you are express to God your thankfulness for going to forgive yourself today. Regardless His helping you to prepare your heart of what you may have done in the past and to forgive yourself.

81 Week Eight: Steps to Forgive Yourself A 40 Day Devotional 82 DAY DAY 40 DEVOTIONALS Steps 3–5 to Forgive The Peace from Asking 40 DEVOTIONALS Yourself God to Forgive You

WHAT GOD SAYS WHAT GOD SAYS This is the day the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our Psalm 118:24 transgressions from us. Psalms 103:12

oday is going to be a great day. make your way down the list until you hrough out this entire process Wonderful! You have asked God to Why? Because you are so close to have forgiven yourself for every sin or of forgiving yourself, God’s forgive you and you can be confident Texperiencing the joy and peace mistake. Be careful not to miss a one. Theart has been open towards that He has. that comes from forgiving yourself. you. He has seen the torment you have Step #5: Apologize and make Yesterday you completed two important suffered, and He rejoices to see it all I once heard an ancient parable of a steps, and today you will finish the restoration to those who you have end. His intent was for you never to young girl who was visited by Jesus regularly. Her mother was disturbed process by completing the last three wronged. As a result of your sins and experience even one day of torment because of her daughter’s claims, so steps. mistakes there may be people you due to unforgiveness. That’s why Jesus need to apologize to for the pain you gave us His brilliant reason to forgive she called the bishop over to talk with Step #3: Release yourself from Your caused them. Take responsibility for 70 times 7—never to be delivered to her. The bishop asked the girl, “If Jesus Heart-Prison and set yourself free. By what you have done. Then, in a spirit the torturers because we quickly forgive visits you, ask Him what I did wrong in seminary?” The little girl replied, “OK.” not forgiving yourself, you have held of humility, ask for their forgiveness. others and ourselves. The next week the bishop returned yourself captive in your own Heart- Your responsibility is not to make them Now that you have forgiven everyone and asked the girl if Jesus answered forgive, but just to ask for it. Once Prison. However, that is about to including yourself, it is time to ask for his question. She replied, “Yes, He change—the moment has come for you you have made your apologies and God to forgive you for your sins related did.” The Bishop then said, “What did to free yourself. With your heart open amends—that’s all God requires of you. to your unforgiveness. Ask God to He say?” The little girl replied, “Jesus and filled with compassion towards You are free. forgive you for two things. First, for said He did not remember.” Friend, if yourself, make your way to that dark the sins you committed that wounded God does not remember our sins, why and neglected cell. Open the rusty door THE MULTIPLIER EFFECT and injured others. Second, for the should we hold on to them? and, say to yourself, “I release myself sins you have committed while in a In a sentence, describe how you felt Now that you have asked God’s from what I did. I no longer hold that state of unforgiveness including anger, before you completed these five steps. forgiveness and have received it, take the against myself.” Now picture yourself bitterness, self-slander, resentment, And in a sentence describe how you self-hatred, and vengeance. time to ask Him to bless your life. With walking out of the cell sorry for what feel now that you have completed them. your heart in a posture to receive, pray: you have done, but absolutely free! As Which sentence do you like the best? Why not pray: “Dear God, please you make your way from the darkness forgive me for my sins that hurt others THE MULTIPLIER EFFECT of your cell into the warm sunlight, it is and myself. I am sorry and I ask You “Dear God, thank you for forgiving time for Step #4. to cleanse me and bless the people me. Will you now open the that I hurt. Also, please forgive me for windows of heaven and pour out Step #4: Forgive yourself for each sin, the sins I committed, including my mistake and wound. Earlier this week your richest blessing upon my life. unforgiveness, anger, bitterness, negative Fill me with your goodness and you prepared a list of all the wounds, self-talk, resentment, self-hatred, and mercy, and every good thing you sins and mistakes that you committed trying to make myself pay for what I did have ordained for my life. I am that wounded yourself and others. through self-vengeance. I thank You for open to receive it. In the name of Please pull out that list. Begin forgiving forgiving me for all my sins and failures. your Son, Amen!” yourself, starting with the most for In Jesus’ name, Amen.” difficult sin or wound to forgive. Then

83 Week Eight: Steps to Forgive Yourself A 40 Day Devotional 84 DAY 40 DEVOTIONALS The Forgiveness Validator

WHAT GOD SAYS And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are naked and open to the eyes of Him to whom we must give account. Hebrews 4:13

f you’ve been to the beach, chances forgiven myself for everything.” After are you’ve seen a few people you pray that sentence, be quiet for a Icombing through the sand with a minute—if nothing else surfaces you are metal detector. A metal detector is a finished. But if God reveals anything tool that gives the user the ability to more, just forgive yourself and then state discover metals that are buried in the the Validator again. When your heart has sand—objects that cannot be seen by complete peace, God’s affirming that you the naked eye. have forgiven yourself for everything. Forgiving ourselves requires us to forgive I remember teaching on forgiveness, ourselves for everything. You have already and after the services a woman came done your best to empty your heart from to me and was filled with joy because every sin, wound, and mistake that you she had forgiven herself. The next were aware of. You are congratulated night she came back and told me, for doing so! However, despite our best when she got home, God showed her efforts, sometimes there are things we there were more things she needed to need to forgive ourselves for that we have forgive herself. God is so faithful, and forgotten. They are buried deep within He will always let us know if we missed the sands of our hearts. This ought not something. discourage us one bit because the One who commanded us to forgive ourselves THE MULTIPLIER EFFECT has a clear interior view of our hearts and Find a quiet place and use the Forgiveness nothing is hidden from His sight. Validator. Declare: “Before God I have forgiven myself for everything.” If Like the metal detector, God can bring there is something you missed, God to our memory any sin or wound that will show you, and all you have to do is still may be hidden from our sight. It’s forgive yourself a bit more. When all is so vitally important that you make uncovered and forgiven, peace and joy sure that you have forgiven yourself for will flood your heart. everything—so we’ve developed a simple tool to see if there’s anything yet hidden under the sand. The tool to accomplish this is called the “Forgiveness Validator.” Just pray out-loud, “Before God I have

85 Week Eight: Steps to Forgive Yourself