Workzine The Leading E-Based Work Magazine 30 June 2010 Volume 2 issue 8
Rapper/Actress Eve Says Ma$E Is The Reason She Stopped Stripping
Scrape Paye BEING Human
I would make the best African coach! The interview and my voices!
IN THE NEWS TAKING LEAVE
’s always exciting anticipating • Con artists set up fake ATM , most are like Eric . Take Agabge for your leave . You imagine machine in China and make
Lets face it, the major topic of conversation ITALYIITALLY - WOWORLDORLR D CUCCUPUP 191966:96666: TThehehe IItalianstalians on the globe right now is World Cup. In wowonn theirtthheeir fi rsrrstst gaggamemme ooff ththee 1919669666 WWorldorld CCupup Arrica its mainly disgust and disbelief. In agagainstaia nst ChChilehile 22-2-0-0 bubutut ththenhene llostoso t to tthehhe UUSSRSSS R Europe , its angst and relief. In America, 1-1-0.00. SSoo theythey hhadaadd ttoo wiwwinn thttheirheir ththirdhirrd anandnd fi nnanall its plain euphoria and hope. This edition grgrouprooup gagameamem aagainstgaainnstt tthehhe NNorthoorthth KKoreaorea wwhichhih ch provides you with an escape avenue from ththeyhey llost.ost.t OOnn thttheirheir araarrivalrrival hohomeomme tthehhe tteameeaam the footballing discussions. Well , not totally wwewerere roundlyroundly ppeltedelelted wwiwiththh rrottenootten frfruituuit aass ttheyheey since we have one or two football articles. ddidisembarkedsembaarked frfromom ttheirheh ir pplane.llanee. Idlers corner, Urban Legend, Blog Star, SOSSOVIETVIETT UNIONUNIOONN - 195219952 OLYMPICS:OLLYYMPICCSS: and all your favorite sections are included. WhWhenhenn UUSSRSSR lostllostt aagainstggainnsts YYugoslaviaugu osslal viia , We also have a Work Discussion by you. StStalinalliin sshowedhowed hhihiss didispleasure.ispplel aasurree. TThehehe ccoachooaach But do forgive me, the football mani has anandnd seseveralveral plplayerslayerrs frfromomm tthehehe lleadingeae diingn SSovietovovieet not skipped me despite the fantastic start clclubub ooff ththehe ddaday,y, CCDCA,DCD A, wwereerre drddroppedroppppeed to Wimbledon. I am sure some of you have frfromomm tthehe ssquad.quad. ThThehe CDCDCADCACA cclublub ititselftselff wwasaas felt like tearing a few sticks off a tree and diddisbandedsbs aanded (it wwawass lalaterteer rerebornebboorn aass tottoday’sodaayy’’s whooping the asses of some of the players. CCSK).SK). No mentionmentit onn ooff ththee ggagamemme wwasas mmadeadde Well , history has a few comforting stories inin SSovietovieet rrereportspop rrts of tthehee OOlympicsllyymmpiiccs anaandnd alaalll for you !! Let me present to you , from the iimagesmaggeses aandnd ffootageoootage ooff tththehe mmamatchtch cocollectedollected byb BBC, punishments given to poor performing SoSovietviv ete pphotographershoh tographeerrss aandnndd ccameramenammeramenn wwereere national football teams. deddestroyed.stroyedd. IRAQ - WORLD CUP QUALIFYING 1994/1998: Saddam Hussain’s son, BusingeBusinge AAbidbid WeereWeere Uday, head of the Iraqi football federation,1994/1998 : He had his own prison and torture chambers in the basement of the building of the Iraqi Olympic committee, which he chaired. A player who missed a practice session, even to attend a sick child or funeral, would be imprisoned. A loss or a draw led to fl ogging with electric cable - or a bath in raw sewage. IVORY COAST - AFRICAN CUP OF NATIONS 2000: The Ivorian national team were held for three days in a military camp after being eliminated in the fi rst round of the African Cup of Nations. The players, many on lucrative contracts with European clubs, were shown on state- controlled television being forced to conduct military marches and receiving lectures on discipline. Income Tax Reforms The Team Editorial Businge Abid Weere Are Urgent: Raymond Kunkundakwe Mathias Muwonge Bernard Olupot Scrape Paye By Morrison Rwakakamba Lindsey Kukunda management systems are Kevin Kasule PAYE (Pay As You Earn) is a 30% fully developed. Yet I point levy pried off from employees/ out the fact that countries workers monthly salaries. While like Honduras and the State presenting budget proposals to of Qatar scrapped PAYE WritersWriters in TThishis issue Parliamentary Committee on Trade Sara Akelly WarnerWarner Tourism and Industry, the Uganda EErnestrnest BBazanyeazanye National Chamber of Commerce BBrianrian B. Coutinho and Industry proposed that PAYE be scrapped-with immediacy. JJasonason Ntaro Just like graduated tax, hut tax, poll Raymond KukundakwKukundakwee tax etc, PAYE is a mercantilist and IIvanvan R.R. MugishaMugisha colonial tax. It is a direct and non- Daniel S. ReubeReubenn consensual tax and for the case of MatMatookenationookenation Uganda, not commensurate to public KKalisaalisa MiMichealcheal good/ priority services that tax payers expect in return from government. MMorrisonorrison RwakakambaRwakakamba This tax, which contributes 16% to Diana Ssali the national treasury, is shouldered BBrendarenda NtamNtambirwekibirweki by a paltry 4% of the population Pumla Nabachwa RugambaRugamba (employees in formal sectors of the DarDarylneylne economy- government and private FFerkerk sector)! This also means that 30 million people in Uganda are IIpsissimuspsissimus freewheelers! This tax has a negative Scrumpert bearing on productivity, economic Mark AbrahamAbraham growth and Growth Domestic Racheal Nakiyingi Happiness on our country. PaPaulsenulsen Hall In my protracted conversations with LLynnynn karatsi professionals from around the world RiRichardchard BalBalenzienzi on this matter, majority seem to fl ag long ago and are shining. a rather naïve narrative that there is Even major economies no way any government can abandon where levies on personal this easy to collect and guaranteed incomes thrive, these taxes revenue! That emerging economies are tagged to social security- like Uganda cannot survive without contributions to pension PAYE! I only recall Prof. Julius Sen and provident funds. I of London School of Economics have told dismissivists that (LSE), who argued that my proposals you are wrong! To explain 4 would work in countries where tax myself, I have presented the Scenario B: Let’s assume employee X invests the 1.2M UGX following scenarios on how actually scrapping in stocks, poultry or piggery project/ enterprise e.t.c. This this tax would do economic miracles for this means that government will earn from issuing licenses, X will country! Let’s take an example of employee/ create jobs and more at the business installation. There is a worker X who earns a gross monthly of 4M multiplier effect here that pushes more citizens into productive UGX, and therefore pays 1.2M UGX in PAYE to sectors of the economy and adjunct increment in the volume government every month! of trade in the country e.tc. If you look at this full circle, Scenario A: If PAYE is scrapped and therefore government would indirectly collect more revenue from the employee X retains 1. 2M UGX and we assume above scenario as opposed to withholding 1.2MUGX from X. he/she spends his/her money on any sort of Scenario C: If employ X decides to save the 1.2MU GX in consumption. This means a rise in aggregate any bank, he/she will consolidate saving and earn interest. He/ demand of the country. Increased consumption she will quickly marshal capital fi nance to invest in small to of goods and services means that fi rms will Cadillac businesses, spread wealth and create employment. increase production, increase number of workers The bank will increase loan portfolio pool and thus pay more (job creation) and will pay more in corporate loan withholding tax to government. MMore borrowers translate into revenue to gogovernment earned on credit facility and bbankablea projects of borrowers. TTheh foregoing scenarios demonstrate tthath by scrapping PAYE government wwilli collect more revenue, increase prproductivity, create more jobs, spur ececonomic growth and guarantee Gross DDomestico Happiness. Instead of relying on inhibitive tax regimes like PAYE, gogovernment should instead focus on wwideningi tax base using modernist aandn rational strategies that don’t hurt aaggregateg demand and productivity. In a cocountry where majority employees earn pepeanuts and shoulder extensive social and ececonomic burdens, such a tax –PAYE – is nonot exactly moral. OOuru proposal of expunging PAYE rregimee was stayed in the Finance MMinister’s budget address to the NaNation. She however indicated that InIncome Tax Reforms are on the way. taxes to government. This situation also means Uganda National Chamber of Commerce and Industry will that X will pay more VAT to Uganda Revenue continue to place this proposal on the table. Let’s continue this Authority due to increased consumption. Most conversation. important of all, the consumer attains satisfaction
5 Human beings like being lied to, yes; we As a child, I came to understand that seem to have an affi nity for it. If it wasn’t sometimes other people just don’t want for that fact, we who put words together to know anything about your feelings, probably wouldn’t have a job. In reality, that in fact, they would rather chew tin when stripped of all emotion, life is simply foil than listen to you prattle about how boring and repetitive, human interaction life is unfair to you. I also understood is what keeps people going. Even the that sometimes it’s not that they don’t mightiest of us all has to concede that care but that, well, “everyone goes without the rest of us, there would be no through shit” and no one has the right way to defi ne his or her might. Most of to transfer their shit onto someone else us walk around with the belief that we unless they are responsible for causing it are somehow engaged in a worthwhile or they willingly take it up, kind of like venture, that what we do on some level the Christian doctrine of bearing each matters even if we don’t understand it. We other’s burdens. I understood that there are for the most part content to believe that are certain people in life that you expect we are somehow part of a greater purpose to be there for you, people you can but when it comes down to what we feel count on and in my mind the very least and believe independent of “other people”, you can expect from them is honesty. we, for the most part, don’t have a clue as This above all: to thine ownself be true, to what we are doing. And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man. People come together for all sorts of The world is the self; your world is what reasons but the primary urge we have you know and no more, know more. behind all our actions is survival. Hard- By Raymond Kukundakwe coded within our DNA is a will to survive like no other for men will endure seemingly eternal torment and fi ght against unimaginable odds just for a breath of free air. Yet when we are satisfi ed and our thirst quenched, there are still desires within us, things that we don’t quite understand.
6 Daring To Dare : Francis Manana Birabi
As soon as he sat down , I showed him a poem I had just written and I found various reasons. The main about latecomers. He apologises for being late. But then again 15 reason I found was that members minutes is about 45 minutes better than the average Ugandan late don’t usually feel they own the music. interval. Francis Manana Birabi is the laed in Milege, the leading To them its just a job. But if you got afro-jazz band in the country . His journery to the top has not been guys who are passionate about it and easy. “I actually didn’t know anything about guitar till a few years in the long term then it would work back, ” he says “I studied sciences at A’level and wanted to be a .” Francis then looked around for like doctor. But somewhere in my s.6 vacation , I picked up a guitar and minded people and Milege was born it was love at fi rst note.” when pressed for details, he reveals that he . “We started out with just our skills, taught himself. “I would get onto the net , download teach yourself no money and our dreams. Originally guides and videos of hillsong guys playing. It was a struggle. ” and , I wanted it to be an all girl group but that’s when his journey , and troubles began!! “I was still leaving it just didn’t pan out. Each member at home and they thought I was crazy when I switched my mind to has ownership in the band and teach music,” he recalls, “my dad would not stomach the thought. ” to get person is treated humanely. We make further training , Francis joined Quela Band. His tenure in the band all mistakes and we should be given was a living hell . “I went to the band to learn. I had informed them opportunity to learn from them. ” that I was a novice yet every time I made a mistake, I was insulted, Apart from being the premier afro-jazz mocked and castigated. There is this particular time when I was band in the country , Milege is also given a piece to memorize for a concert. I spent two sleepless weeks made up of educated professionals. doing nothing but practice. At the possible last minute , they called “each member brings skills other than in another guitarist to take my part . They unplugged my guitar and music to the table. The group has a told me to stay put, pretending I was playing. ” during this time , lawyer , **************” Francis’ Francis was on campus studying his fi rst degree***********. His journey has taken him six years from dad wasn’t supportive of his ventures and he had to fend for himself that naïve boy in his vacation to part . “Practice sessions were in Bugolobi and they were days I didn’t owner of his own band. “the script is have a dime on me,” he pauses , “I would walk from Makerere still being written . I can only hope for University to bugolobi and back. ”
Because his gesture had become contagious, I Then Mr. HR asks me about my job history look over my imaginary horn rimmed glasses which I list. and say: “Why did you leave them?” he asks.
“Specifi cs Bob, specifi cs!” “You are mistaken. I still work there.”
That was a quote form the Travolta movie “Why do you want another job then? Can you “Phenomenon” in the interrogation scene. handle?”
The HR writes something down on a notebook “It’s quite simple actually, I love a good and thinks and at this point, he reminds me of challenge and I have the story of overwhelmingoverwhelm potential the whore and Jesus must have had andand a worldwor of experience. the “let he I think I wwould be a perfect who has no sin some hard-core math andand mumuchch needed addition cast the fi rst toto your ccompany!”o rock” story. Remember equation to derive the RightRight now,now you must be how Jesus ‘do not judge’ answer. thinkingthinking ppompous arrogant bent to the idioticidiotic fafart…r but it is a ground, wrote fact…andfact…and I got the job! something and then got the answer? Then the By Jason Ntaro one of the blind guy? Jesus spat on the ground, mixed the spit and soil and placed the yuck on
9 Of seminar irritants
every seminar they will be participants who As the seminar progressed, he forty-something female lawyer At will drive you nuts. became bolder, from interrupting (lets call her Rosette) who kept A Lawyers seminar I attended the Trainer at an average rate of on making some ‘mmmm’ recently was no exception. Here is twice every hour in the morning sound after almost every introducing; session, he was interrupting remark the Trainer made. My the Trainer at an average rate friend deduced that like many The Constant Interrupter of about four times every hour of us Rwandans this was her in the afternoon session. Not way of politely informing Jean Pierre (not real name) was surprisingly, we were only all who were within earshot clearly in love with his own voice able to cover half of the topics that she fully understood and and convinced that we felt the same by the end of the seminar. On concurred with whatever way too. Dressed in a crisp white more than one occasion I caught the Trainer was saying. The shirt, green tie and brown corduroy myself fantasizing about shoving fact that Rosette appeared to suit, he was quite a sight to behold. him towards a speeding car after comprehend what the Trainer Something about him suggested he the seminar. was saying impressed my was the restless type. friend because Rosette was During most of the interruptions, French speaking and the According to the seminar program the Trainer was the picture seminar was being conducted there were many topics to cover of restraint. In fact at fi rst he in English. With time her within a very short time. When the welcomed Jean Pierre’s remarks/ mmmms became longer and seminar began, the tall distinguished- questions and invited him to louder. My friend fi gured looking British Trainer advised ask/comment more. But as the the longer, louder mmmms that it would be necessary to go seminar progressed, the Trainer to mean that Rosette’s mind through each topic really fast in took to chewing the plastic cover was increasingly fi nding itself order to cover as many as possible. of his Bic pen in frustration in total agreement with the This advice did not seem to register whenever Jean Pierre interrupted Trainer’s suppositions. with Jean Pierre who proceeded to his fl ow. The fi nal straw for derail our progress with a barrage of the hapless Trainer was during According to my friend, pointless questions and comments. his concluding remarks when during the discussion on Initially we thought that he genuinely Jean Pierre interjected once Capital markets, Rosette’s sought clarifi cations. We were soon more, this time to share with mmmms reached fever pitch disabused of this notion by his fi rst us his personal experiences as only posing briefl y between set of questions which all began with a lawyer. For a few seconds mmmms in order to catch “Isn’t it true that…”, “Wouldn’t I be the Trainers’ lips twisted in a her breath. He was thus quite correct to assume that….”, “Don’t manner that suggested that a dog perplexed when at the end of you think it would be better…” It had just peed up his leg. Being the discussion she asked him became apparent that Jean Pierre the consummate professional, to translate for her the words knew the answers to his questions. the Trainer quickly recomposed ‘Capital Markets’ into French! He just wanted the Trainer to confi rm himself and adorned a plastic that his hypotheses were correct. And smile during the remaining bit of By Richard Balenzi whenever the Trainer agreed with his Jean Pierre’s monologue.
Sometimes I wonder; why don’t they f the World Cup has just copy paste strategies from the white taught me anything teams? Pass the ball, pass the ball, pass the valuable, it is that; just I ball to the guy in a good position and let like white men can’t jump, him shoot in the big white net, not straight black men can’t kick! For at the gloved man or the fans behind him. example, look at me; a black Rwandan Ugandan, or the Have you ever wondered why there are other way round, as old always so few fans sitting behind the net as Messi’s father, I started that an African team is supposed to shoot playing football at the tender in? It’s because nobody wants to get age of 5. By all implications, injured by a missile ball. am supposed to be better This brings me to my conclusion; if any than people like Rooney bibbiceps…tricepsceps…triceps aandnd scare thttheirheir eneenemies…mies… African country wants to win the World since I started playing way mark my words, not opponents but enemies! Cup, the black man must be avoided! before them. However, I Instead of strategy training in the morning, simply am not. If I were made coach of let’s say they throw the ball away and fi ght amongst Cameroon, the funniest team at the World So I ask myself, what is the themselves whereby, the strongest eleven are Cup, I would take one full year requesting problem with me? Is it that considered the best to start a game. white immigrants to become citizens. I’m dumb or just untalented? After I’ve gotten around 30 white citizens, Defi nitely not! As I have When they lineup to sing the anthems, they I would take them through a history of discovered, it is because I make their breasts dance Like Chong Li football, train them in simple football am black, just black! does in all his movies, and when the cameras come round, they don’t wink or wave to fans tactics and show them DVDs of stars like Had I been white or brown and family members like their white enemies Ronaldinho and David Beckham. like those South Americans, do. Instead, they bite their teeth and breathe Finally, I would announce my all-white with all the experience I so hard, scaring all of us. Cameroonian team and don’t give a damn have, I would have been whether people call me unpatriotic or a a great footballer. This When the game begins, all of them racist. applies to the six African (including the goalkeeper) run to the enemy’s goal with the ball, forgetting anything called countries represented at In the end, Cameroon would surely win “defense”. While they panic tirelessly trying the tournament in Crime the World Cup for Africa and bewilder to force the ball inside the net with fruitless City. Each is represented by every African with emotional excitement. eleven lost black men…save outcomes, the white enemies are calm and Sooner or later, every African country for Algeria (those guys are seem to subconsciously know that they will would copy my strategy by avoiding black not Africans). win. men on their soccer teams. Then, like a We the fans keep screaming OOOHs! These black men treat dream coming true, Africa would change AHHHs!! REF REF!! And GOOOAAAL football like war! They from being a pretender and for the fi rst NOOOOs in support!!! Suddenly from spend days and nights in time become a real footballing continent. the gym and are fed on outta blue, the smaller white enemy who By IVAN R. Mugisha fattening diets to make them didn’t have the ball for most of the time, the writer is NOT an African football toweringly scary. They are effortlessly scores a goal, a second and a coach given muscle tight jerseys third. so that they can show off the 11 Rapper/Actress Eve Says Ma$E Is The Reason She Stopped Stripping
WHO SAYS CAREER CHANGE CAN’T In a new Behind the Music documentary, Eve recalls, “He came into the BE DONE !!!!! club and looked at me and literally was like, ‘What’s your name?’ And I apper/actress EVE has fellow gave him every stripper name under the sun! I was like, ‘I’m Ginger, I’m hip-hop star MA$E to thank for Sassy!’ He was like, ‘Why don’t you go get dressed, let’s go just talk.’ Rinspiring her to quit her job as And we did, we talked throughout the night. He was like, ‘You’re a stripper and pursue her music dreams after really talented. What are you doing? You know you’re not supposed to be a chance meeting at a New York club. here. You know it.’ The Let Me Blow Ya Mind hitmaker spent “It was a confi rmation for me that all these thoughts, all this sadness. All her nights dancing and disrobing for cash in these times that I wake up in the morning, I’m like, ‘Why do I feel like this?’ the Bronx before an unexpected encounter And I know I’m not supposed to be there. It just woke me up.” The talk with Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs’ former protege led to Eve landing an audition with superproducer Dr. Dre at the age of 18, made her realise it was time to keep her before she signed to rap crew Ruff Ryders and became the all-male group’s clothes on and launch a career as a rapper. First Lady. (Article Courtesy of ContactMusic.com)
12 JOANNA AND BELLA COULD NOT AGREE ON WHO WAS HOTTER: THE GUYS FROM DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE, OR THE GUYS FROM KINGS OF LEON. SO THERE WAS ONLY ONE THING TO DO: STAGE A HUNK-OFF ROCK BEAUTY CONTEST death cab for cutie
e will have to start with a Social science. Research and DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE -Death Cab for What? very important caveat. No comparative approaches and all One of our judges had a problem -For Cutie. Whomo. I mean, yes this is a that stuff from that one lecture in with that. What follows is a tran- -Get the fuck out of here. That is beauty contest featuring two rock Makerere. In the end we hope to script of the discussion. not a real band name. bands instead of Desire and Grace prove that we are smarter than -What? and the cute one in the back from those women who keep making -Death Cab For Cutie. Following this discussion, even Obsessions, but that should not be jokes about us thinking with our -What? before the photos showed up, the taken the wrong way. This is totally small heads and being unable to -Death Cab. For Cutie. band Death Cab For Cutie were scientific. multitask and also to prove which -Death Cab? penalised 20 points for having a I mean, if these women cannot rock band is lamer. Then we shall -For Cutie. dumb name. figure it out using their eyes and hand the crown to the other one. -For Cutie? Death Cab For Cutie was formed their female hormones, we shall Let us begin by introducing the -Yes. in 1997 in Washinton state USA, have to employ some other tactics, contestants. -That is the band’s name? and now consists of four members. like science ones. -Yes. The band took its name from a kings of leon
1967 song which, according to research, is about a cute chick who takes a taxi cab somewhere, until that taxi cab attempts to run a red light and ends up in a collision. The collision proves fatal for Cutie. The cab dies as well. Making it a death cab. Now, Benjamin Gibbard of Bellingham, Washington was mov- ing around listening to stuff one day in America when he was struck by the song Death Cab For Cutie and decided to make it a band. Four points were deducted here for the name Gibbard. Four more for being “Gibbard of Bellingham” making it 28 points down. Of course the fact that the song they got the name from was origi- nally done by a band called Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band (for real. This is not a lie) has to cost them dearly, so they enter the contest with 62 points out of 100.
Now, let’s check out the competi- tion:
KINGS OF LEON Kings of Leon. No objection to the name, because our panel of judges agrees that it is a sensible famous for producing country Cab For Cutie is down to 38 points. biggest Kampala hit is called Sex name for a band to have, especial- music than rock bands, however. Depicted are is Ben Gibbard, on Fire. This causes moral indigna- ly if they are from a place that is, Some members of the panel hate Chris Walla, Nick Harmer and tion because we don’t think it is or can be called, Leon. country music. Jason McGerr. We have not man- wise to play with fire and also They don’t need to be royals “It’s all whiny whiny voices aged to identify which one is because we don’t believe preach- themselves. They can just have singing about dogs and beer and which. This picture is used on the er’s kids should use genitals. We active imaginations. it’s so whiny!” cover of their CD The Atlantic Was therefore deduct the 14 points we According to the research, “Well, country music has Shania Born Today. gave them for having a parent in whereas there actually were peo- Twain.” Now, let’s take a look at Kings of the ministry, and further penalise ple called Kings of Leon, (a country “Shania Twain! She’s so whiny!” Leon. them for burning their sexual part- called Leon was founded in 910AD Fortunately the judges could not Eugh. Here we have the four ners. At the end of it, they have 54 on the Iberian Penisula) this band agree to penalise Kings Of Leon for Followill brothers photographed points. consists of four brothers, none of country music. with a special “fish-eye” camera Cheer up Kings of Leon fans. This whom are Spanish. (Spain is where lens effect while, apparently, they still leaves your people in the lead. Iberia is, son.) They are the four So, that’s the bios and the intros. were standing on a street corner If you see Bella and Joanna American sons of a man named Let’s take a look at the contest- waiting for their dealer to show please inform them that Science Leon Followill. They named their ants. up. The general emaciation of the has established that Kings of Leon band after their dad, a gesture, we We have a problem with this band and the very dazed look in are hotter, therefore, than Death think, that shows respect for photograph of Death Cab For Cutie the eyes of the only fellow who is Cab for Cutie. elders. The panel was inclined to because it looks as if the four men not hiding his eyes with sunglasses award 10 points to the 100 per are sharing a communal toilet. We suggests the onset of withdrawal cent each contestant starts with. are also concerned with the fact symptoms. I don’t think the dealer When it was revealed that Leon that all their heads are the same is coming. Nine points must be Followill was a preacher, the panel shape. So for communal crapping deducted. Nine points each. added another 14 points. we remove eight points and for Fiends. Crack is Wack! Kings Of Leon were formed in lack of variety in head shapes, we Kings of Leon are down to 88 by Kevin Kasule, Music editor of Urban remove another 16 points. Death points when we learn that their Legend, a satire ‘zine piggybacking off Nashville Tennessee, a place more the Workzine. My Night - A Brand New day Poetry As the Sun makes its fi nal Bend The Skies and Dark Clouds begin to Blend Colours of darkness they start to Send LONE STAR The time to rest for many does Impend I had not really taken you seriously before For the day seems to have come to an End But am glad I later did In My world, this is the cue to Start I cannot express the feeling wholly It is just too much perfection well timed Daytime Joys I often Thwart Every hug I grab on to you For nightlife is the pleasure of my Heart I take with a lot of pride And that is when my brain is Smart You have given me what I have never received To everyone else, I am a Soul Apart That sisterly love I thought I would never get I thank you that you are always there for me It’s more like a long awaited Storm Even when I may seem miles from you Springing up on you in some Form That you are always ready to hold me A form not similar to the Norm When I slip and fall That you always wash me clean But not requiring that you Conform With your seemingly beautiful love For it has already made you Transform I do not mean to fl atter But you are probably the best sister I have had So I ply my trade all the Way If I have any at all And whenever the sun fades Away I pray you stay my lone star And the Moon says ‘Hey’ One I breed my faith in. I begin to toil and Work Away By Paulsen Halll For me, the Night is a brand new Day
Bernard Presenter Sleepless (12am - 3am Thurs – Sat) 95.9 Touch Fm Two hearts Bound as One Kampala’s More Music Variety Station Two hearts bound as one Character in life. Always smiling with your eyes My mouth is usually full; I can’t speak With character My heart is forever yours - all taken We can make life It’s so full of love I can hardly breathe Better for us, And it is dancing around like a baby’s health And everyone around us. It’s fi nally time for this foolish love to know Like the dove, we humbly Time to know how it feels to fall in love Enjoy every great moment. And like the serpent we Rachel Nakiyingi Calculate every step we take.
When we have character, Then we respect and love others No matter the price. Fair treatment is our daily life style. For we hike the mountain of trials with patience and tread the road of relations with love pure, to melt down even the hardest heart to jelly 15 Lynn karatsi IDLER’S CORNER Cool morning ately my life’s been getting a bit weird... I blame me for this one, blame Garth Nix and his infernal Keys to the mean, just the other night someone called Kingdom (again, Google it, or even better in this case, wiki it (I hear Lme at 3:00am (3:00am in the bloody its Makmende’s blog, Wikipedia I mean, which leads me to wondering morning, yes, I realise it cannot be 3:00am in what Goolola Moses is going to do about it (Incidentally, I have no the afternoon, but still, come on!! 3:00am? And idea who either of these two persons is, Abid just seems inordinately it wasn’t even a cool night, you know, Tuesday, excited about both of them – enough to do a Sheldon and go get himself Thursday, weekend (the so-called happening customised Undies, but I guess in that situation he’d just be owned. :) nights – I wonder why, it’s not like they have ))))) (I really hope those are enough brackets, kinda lost track there, and more hours in them or anything, just that all the I don’t really feel like going back to count). “happening”(I mean the quotes) places decide Back to my story though, Keys to the Kingdom – oh yeah you were to have some kind of theme night on those just going to wiki it, like I said, the answer I gave made perfect sense to particular nights making it kinda compulsory me on a Tuesday morning at 3:00am after falling asleep with my nose for your average “cool person”(defi nitely not buried in a strangely arresting children’s book (mbu we’re supposed to me, I like my sleep too much) to be out there, call them “young adults” these days). And what did the chap come up trying to stay awake but still dozing against with? One of the most redundant questions in the English language, wait one of those humongous woofers in club, all for it... because it campus night, like you’re in campus “Are you being sarcastic?” anymore, or ladies night, never mind that the Now seriously, think about that question, after asking, are you really ladies in question won’t even give you a second going to take any answer I give at face value? (for the cool people; the glance, tsk), no sirree, it was like a Monday, I logic being that if you thought there was something sarcastic about mean seriously, who’s up on a Tuesday morning something I said, enough to ask the question anyway, then the answer at 3:00am? (That is Monday night for those is almost defi nitely going to be sarcastic, whether or not I was being who are wondering...mbu the cool people read sarcastic or not, and even if I don’t give you a sarcastic answer you are this mag (the WorkZine) and their brains tend still going to think its sarcastic... and on and on and on, basically, as to move a bit slower than the average person futile as trying to drain a lake with a sieve (you know, it just occurred on account of the marinating they get on the to me that I really must kill you with all my brackets, huh?))(Abid, if cool nights-never mind that the speaker they you don’t think enough cool people read this for it to be relevant, just fell asleep next to just got them more than half delete the entire last set of brackets, will you? Can’t have my readers deaf)) thinking I’m a bit demented seeing as I’m feeling a bit cool myself at Where was I? Oh, yeah, the chap who called the moment, might have fuddled the explanation a bit, and no, I’m not me. Mbu they were not feeling well. So you telling you why.) call me? At 3:00am on a Tuesday morning? I Where was I? Totally lost myself, and I’m feeling too lazy to go wade thought that’s what the missus was for, I mean, through all those brackets to look for the point I was trying to make. she probably is lying next to you at that very Tough luck. moment!! Well, my befuddled brain came up with one very logical solution; he must have Hi Lynnie, just so you know, this article really is about you. (This is the gotten too close to the Denizens from the part where you look really confused for a moment and then decide it House (It actually made perfect sense to me at doesn’t really matter after all.) the time, no kidding, and no, you don’t get to By Brian B. Coutinho the writer’s initials are .....wait for it .... BBC !! Just Apt!! MY PLAYLIST—Daniel s. Reuben • 20 Fingers feat. Roula – Lick It (Dj Fikus Rework) • Fred Worx – Witch Doctor (Dj Maxsie And Alex Speaker Mix) • Avicii – Bom (John De Mark Remix) • Houseshapes & Mikro’Housebrothers’ – ID (Orginal Mix) • Moshic – Messiah Of The Zohar (Original Mix) • ACDC – T.N.T (DJ Izzy Remix) • Moshic – Atnachtha (Original Mix) • DJ Fenix feat. Zvonkiy – Day Mne Ladon (Splash & Haipa Remix) • Moshic – I’m Your Danger (Original Mix) • Ahllex – Sunday’86 (INDISCREET Remix) • MiMo – Will You Be There (Seamus Haji Big Love Remix) • Mr Bassline Junk-E – Dreamer (Proton and Grateful Remix) • Gambafreaks feat. Nicole – Never Say Never 2010 (Lori B. • Magnux – Vengeance Vanity Kills Mix) 16 • Survivor – Eye Of The Tiger (BuzZTech 2010 Remix) ince I made the cover, I thought I Cover girl should do the only noble thing I Cover girl Sknow and help to grow the readers’ businesses. How? You may ask. Well I’ll tell you, ADVERTISING. I am ready to unselfi shly put myself these fools make me the most sought I pride myself on being one of the few out there for you. You can thank after musician ever. Or should I go undiscovered talents that can market me when there is a boom in your into acting! Or maybe Kimansulo! a product. Ever since I was a child, I business. Oh crap! Maybe I should just sue found that I had the God- given talent of I’m not asking for anything in them and make money seeing as no increasing the sales of a product just by return. Not even a contract that will contracts were signed! being associated with it. In nursery school, limit your use of my talent. I will OMG has Abid typed this? He aint we had rabbits that the teachers used to infact offer some pointers on how that silly. I should talk to him about allow us to feed. All the children used to to maximize and exploit what the becoming the face of the WorkZine bring cabbage. Dirty garden cabbage. One Almighty hath given thee; permanently. Yeah. I’ll do that. day, my dad refused to give me cabbage Put my face on the biggest billboard By Sara Akelly for the rabbits, so I carried bread instead. in the city centre so that you can From that day, every other kid started thethe writer is tthehe new ffaceace ooff tthehe reach more people. bringing bread, till the teachers put a stop WorkZineWorkZine ..muhahahahaha to it. Point is, I managed to indirectly Put my face at the airports in your increase the sales of the bread company. respective countries so you can attract those fi rst timers and tourists. In primary school, all the kids in school used to wear funny canvas shoes with no Open a facebook page and invite pictures, and funny laces for sports. The fans with my face as the profi le fi rst time I wore my Barbie canvas shoes picture. Let the fans invite more with pink laces, all the kids cried for them. fans, and let there be no limit as to Unfortunately the company was not based how many people can access the in Uganda, thus they did not enjoy the page. Do the same for twitter and all increase in demand, but you can see what the other social networking sites. this meant. Re-brand and name your products In secondary school, all the girls were after your face so that they can obsessed with their skin and skin products. easily be identifi ed. I was one of the few who was happy and Do all you can to ensure that that content with what God had given her and product reaches the whole world didn’t really mind. But I begun using through advertising, then holla johnsons, just because it was what was in when all is done so I can unselfi shly the supermarket at the time I was doing celebrate with you. my school shopping. That fi rst visiting I know by this time many of you are day, all the girls were sending their parents wondering, how do we reach her? back for Johnson products. How do we get into contact with this I could go on forever, but im sure you IT girl? Well, question no further. get the drill. I can market a product. I Just contact the EDITOR IN CHIEF. will thus, seeing as I am kind like that, I give him atmost permission to offer my free services as the face of your give out my details to all potentially business. This is totally and completely for prosperous businesses. the following unselfi sh reasons. (Thinking out loud) • I care about you. …………………… • I care about your business. Evil laugh………. MUWAHAHAHAHA……. • I want you to succeed. Cough……….. That laugh was • I want to make your product desirable. really hard. Lets go with an evil • I want to save you time and money grin………… Now I can go to the looking for people who can’t deliver. studio and record a song and watch 1717 BLOG STAR: Diary of a Disgruntled Cubicle Worker I’m in Nairobi. Janice is still in love with Martin Stinky George hardly comes and eagerly waiting for Carrie to be to the offi ce anymore. He Daniel couldn’t come down on the next plane out of Entebbe. seems to be having serious this week, something to do Carrie decided to braid her hair; she issues with his wife. I thought with work. The meeting of my had never had braids before and that she had seen the pictures parents/discussion about the decided to experiment before she on Facebook but Janice told Facebook episode will have left Uganda. They look horrible. me that it had nothing to to be put on hold for a while. There are about 9 braids on her head do with me. Apparently his I hope he’ll be able to come and her scalp is sunburnt from her wife has been indulging in home over the weekend. I extensive boda-ing around town. extracurricular activities with wish that I’d told him about it Martin spent earlier. What if he hears about Monday it through someone else? I morning can’t tell him over the phone; saying it it has to be a face to face looked great. conversation. The next day I used to hate going to work Janice came because I was bored. Now to work I’m bored and extremely with blond uncomfortable. Carrie is braids. She supposed to have left for managed England but she’s still around. to look We aren’t on speaking terms. worse than She tried to say hi on my Carrie, she’s one fi rst day back, I gave her ridiculous. the fi nger and walked past of Martin and her. I don’t understand why the Carrie are she’s still here, but I am too still sleeping embarrassed to get the low teachers at the international together. She is also sleeping with down from my boss. We have school that their kids are in. John in HR and Richard the intern. been communicating through They have been in and out of Martin doesn’t know that his e-mails and sticky notes since meetings at the school. And I arrangement isn’t exclusive. I’ve the kissing episode. thought I had drama. debated about telling him, but it It’s been ages since would be purely to see Carrie suffer. I miss Daniel. I’ve updated you on my After what she’s put me through, Read More from the Writer at workmates, here is the KB: that’s the least that I should do. http://matookenation.com/
18 MUSIC REVIEW : SEETHER
They were initially called Saron Gas I was rooting for Shaun’s romance It is only guys who are deep and ( after the deadly nerve gas Sarin gas with Amy lee (Evanescence aren’t afraid to express themselves which was later changed to avoid ) to last longer than just the who use one liners such as “Selfl ess confusion with the nerve gas ) and Song “Broken”. Well it did but millionaires won’t take ideas from have released four studio albums to only for a few months which all the little plebeians” in a song ( date. i have totally identifi ed with led to Evanescence’s hit single simplest mistake). In Shaun’s lyrics, their music because of the sincerity of which was directed at Shaun for one can be able to sing a song and Shaun Morgan’s lyrics. As a musician going into rehab just after the at the same time recite an insightful he is as human as that person who has promotional tour of the Second yet, beautiful poem from most of the huge debt, or that person who has been Album Disclaimer II. This was songs. battling depression for ages except in evident from one song in that This is one of the few bands whose his case he puts all the frustrations are album that has Seether singing song writer who is the vocalist put on paper and the result is a fairly “they say it’s over, am fi ne again; (Shaun ) so i think he took the award moderate fan base around the world. so why try to stay sober when it (yes, mine) with “Rise above this” Seether is a South African band though feels like I am dying” (Fine Again). that was dedicated to his suicidal they are now based in the U.S.A The song “Sold Me” brought brother Eugene (RIP). This was and are noted for songs like broken Seether fame after featuring in the done in pure seether style (hard rock (featuring Amy Lee of Evanescence). movie “the Punisher”. The song’s base) and all the beats were spot on They are not your average rock band mysterious presentation talks about with Shaun using the rhythm guitar but have stuck to their style of music music producers deciding the style for a change. of music that they want artists to through and through. The only attempt One of the promotional tours for play instead of what the musicians at a pop derived beat was “Fake It” “Karma and Effect” had Shaun want to produce. but the heavy rhythm guitar line that is doubling over in stomach pains and characteristic of them is distinct. one The music producers had their way on the brink of cancelling a show. of the scenes that had the Joker ( Dark again when they changed the name This particular even had Seether Knight) driving around while bobbing of the third studio album from set up a stage with candles all over his head to some rock beat with his ...... to “Karma and Effect”. This and an acoustic show was held. fellow hoodlums was seether’s “The album had The Truth, Remedy ( This acoustic show and subsequent Falling ” from “Finding Beauty in No. 1 US Rock Charts 2008) and recording of songs resulted into Negative Spaces”. the Gift as its hit singles. “Never “One Cold Night” which was their Leave”, “Simplest Mistake”, “fourth” but live album. On this cold “Tongue”, and” World Falls Away night, the recording of plastic man “ really pulled their weight for me. stood out. These are one of the few rock musicians that will raise a top 30 list of songs for me because all their songs had a meaning behind them and are deep. I will be quick to warn that they are not for the faintest of heart but if you really want to listen to the lyrics then they are a perfect listen. By Kalisa Micheal
19 Discussion : Did Her Looks Get Her A Promotion ?
Darlyne "I recently got a sort of promotion at my work and excitedly shared this information with a friend who put it down to my being physically attractive. I would like the think the fact that I'm actually good at my job is the reason for my success at work. Am I wrong?"
Gimei Nagimesi : You are wrong. I also got promoted at my workplace on account of my looks and sense of style.
Solomon King : Even me I promote people purely on looks. Concordantly, No one has been promoted in almost 4 years. Yeah. I'm evil like that. But seriously, I know Darlyne is very good at her job (attitude + aptitude). The rest is just nugu.
Stray Bird : Sometimes it all goes down to the looks, but does it even matter? You were PROMOTED, thats what is important!
J Ernest Bazanye : If two people are equally qualifi ed, the advantage is going to be on the one who looks better. But I think the thing is we assume that means the one who is hotter period. I think it's more general than that. They don't have to be hotter. Dress better, speak more clearly, look people in the eye and remember their names etc and you get an extra advantage. Abenuggu baveeko, Darlyne. If you qualify for the promotion, you take it and rock. SuperCoffee Buzz ETA seven minutes. Brenda Ntambirweki : Darlene's friend is just plain jealous. Period.
Businge Abid Weere : @Brenda, she may not be jealous, she may have seen it elsewhere.
Brenda Ntambirweki :@Abid: Would an employer just promote a "blondie"/ "airhead" with no justifi cation??? I think not. There has to be extra something that would catch your employer's eye, like a brain and the ability to do the job well or and to work hard to earn that promotion. Remember this is a promotion, not an entry level job or an internship. Hotness is an advantage, but a person must have something extra.
20 Sara Akelly : brenda, it also depends on the job description! for things that are mainly paper work n dealin wit ple..... anyone can do! but for technical n professional things like law, engineering, medicine etc..... then ur hotness is an added adv!
Diana Ssali : If you earned and you got it, it's a no-brainer. The boss has a boss too, and he has to justify the promotion to his boss, so he's gotta have a reason. Was the Diana Ssali : I'm sure there's a background story promotion a surprise? to the conversation with the friend! Anyway, why I was asking if she was surprised is coz you generally know when you're doing a good job, Sara Akelly : diana thats unless the and when there's an opportunity for a promotion. promotion came from the main man! So if it just came out of the blue, then I'd be a bit concerned... Sozi Daniel Reuben : i swear me i would promote you 4 you looks....looks dazzle Ipsissimus: Research shows that people who & attract clients...then you enter their are (conventionally) attractive, well dressed, and wallets... well groomed do receive more positive attention Sara Akelly : tru tru tru! u people, esp from colleagues and superiors. (Often, the latter these days, no one cares if you gonna do two will do a lot for the fi rst.) If an executive has a good job! so look good, get the client, a choice of three equally qualifi ed candidates for get hired, get the paycheck! when your a promotion, s/he is most likely to choose the company makes mistakes u can just go on most attractive, best dressed, and best groomed. wit others! Is it right or wrong? Senior management will Pumla Nabachwa Rugamba : I'll start assert that they are promoting people who with answering your question. Yes, beauty are qualifi ed, because their own effectiveness and will always be advantageous in the depends on the competence and productivity of workplace...in any place actually. Truth their subordinates. Beyond qualifi cations, they is, people will always judge u by how look for people who are "professional," who u look whether we like it or not. Good will represent themselves and their organization looking people will always draw more well, who will create positive impressions when positive attention. Much as Darlyne may giving presentations, etc. be physically attractive, which maybe (or not) what attracted her superiors in the fi rst place, I’m sure when they got to Ferk : Your friend sounds jealous and bitchy. know her,they realised she was so much Even if you being attractive affected their initial more hence the promotion. If its a private hiring decision, you likely got the promotion company, the boss wud b a douche bag to because of being a good worker. promote her on looks alone considering she'd have targets and her failure to deliver Scrumpert: Life has dealt you a "good looking" w'd be his failure and the company's card, use it. Better looking people do get better too. Beauty defi nately opens doors...... jobs, I think it's just a fact. I think that a big its up to you to keep that door open with smile, genuine happy personality and a quick whats on the inside.Oh and just as a by the wit make the people attractive too. Does your way,please tell darlyne to get new friends. job include customer relations? Employers like Hers are really unsupportive!!!! bright shiny people to represent their company. If your being personal and taking care of yourself then your being good at your job. Leave the hard work to those more qualifi ed. 21 Game Theory: Ebb and Flow night, schooled enough to mix her there is no electricity at their own cocktails and tough enough to inevitable reunion. His heart is pay her own bail. inert to her as gold to oxygen but It used to be like this… at a physical level the attraction But she let him do it all for her is still valid. She fi nds it hard to He’d call in the morning, at because that’s what women do. It’s embrace this new persona. He midday and in the evening just simply the nature of romance, she is still sweet, still respectful and to make sure she is alright. He’d recognized he has a need to protect gentle but he is more assertive. open the door for her and pull and hence she satisfi ed is need by When he wants he grabs, he out her chair. He would help playing the little innocent angel and pulls and even pushes. When he her change her tyre, stand in in that way they complimented each holds he grips. He gropes her the queue at the bank for her other. But she didn’t love the man, bum and kisses her cheek all in and rub her feet when she was she never took him seriously. What the knowledge that she is taken. exhausted. He would make love she wanted was a strong, rude type He doesn’t pay for his drink and to her passionately and softly, not a softie and only gave in to him takes from her purse. It’s not compliment her horrendous because he was overwhelmingly because he is broke. He is very cooking and prepare little sweet and every girl longs to be fi nancially secure but he knows romantic surprises on a nightly someone’s princess from time to that now that she is taken, she is basis. He would paint her nails time. And when he grew tired of the keen to prove that she is alright, and call her “princess” and indifferent passion, the increasing that she doesn’t miss him and that “sweet” and “sugar pie” and call absenteeism from mutually agreed her man takes care of her well her just to tell her about his day. rendezvous, the waiting and the enough. So, she happily pays and He would compose songs for improbable explanations he started lends him when he asks. He has her and draw paintings of her thinking and started doubting. And no intention of paying or thanking in his moments of inspiration. when confronted by the question and merely waits for them to be It was mad love, pure emotion she fi nally caved and told the truth. alone so he may sexually assault and no thought. What they had It wasn’t the truth he wanted to her. She takes no offence to it, to was glorious and impulsive. hear but he couldn’t run form its groping her breasts and kissing And he spent his morning implications. He had to go away, her lips when she isn’t looking thinking of her and his night to disappear for a while and let the because she likes the idea of dreaming of her. There were dust settle. being the object of lust suspended many but he wanted only one, between two adoring males. And this one. She didn’t need him And now it’s like this…. her love triangle continues as to do anything for her. She was she surrenders to the fact that capable enough to change her She went and found her rude type she is perpetual love cheat and tyre or do her banking. She was and he went and cried a bucket of her two men seem to swap roles independent enough to take care tears but once the tears dried he again as her strong, masculine of herself and educated enough moved on and little by little he got other begins to crumble to the to download her own mp3s. She accustomed to not loving her, to not emotional burden of knowing his was streetwise enough to go caring for her and not calling her. precious love is unfaithful. out on her own on the weekend And despite his fears and anxieties By Mark Abraham
22 Not a girl, not yet a woman So I’d stay at home lounging on my The Piff party which I had been beating myth and legend and fear. sofa, living my male cramps-free you over the head with rocked. So Gets me wondering why women life in bliss until I feel like arguing rocked. It was this awesome: I was don’t use our ignorance to their about Iron Man 2 or the western drinking water the whole time I was advantage more often. media’s portrayal of Africa on there—Rwenzori Mineral Water ™ no As I luxuriated on my sofa on facebook. Then I may return to the less– but I still got high. Sunday, still wearing the blouse, (I offi ce. High on life, baby. know, I know, but it’s really comfy, But once that bores me, or once I get In the course of the party a Piff okay? Don’t judge me!) I thought, I really should have applied for FlashForward on DVD, I’ll make T-shirt was sold to me. By the time it another call. transpired that this T-shirt was actually my current job as a woman. Then “Boss, I’ve got cramps.” a woman’s T-shirt, however, I was I would only go to work on days already too drunk (on life) to object. I when there was something cool “What? But you had cramps just two was so drunk in fact, that I was kind of going on on facebook. weeks ago… I thought it should be enjoying this garment. My blouse and I My bosses are guys. And they are at least a month before the next…” just proceeded to revel and make merry careful, trepidatious and nervous “Oh, so you’re an expert now? with abandon until bedtime. about women’s issues. They don’t Oh, so you know more about my It is only now that I begin to give grave want to be seen as insensitive in plumbing than I do? Oooooh! Who’s and sober consideration to the event any way. So if I were to call and a smart MALE now, huh? You DO aforementioned. Hmm. How should I say, for example, “Hello?” NOT HAVE FALLOPIAN TUBES, feel about wearing a blouse? Should I They would reply, “Hello.” YOU ASSHOLE!!! I do!! I am the feel emasculated? Frightened? Good? The dialogue would proceed as one who knows whether I do or do not have cramps! You BASTARD! Don’t get me wrong, being a guy does such. And stop thinking about my have its drawbacks (you don’t have your “I can’t come to work today. “ fallopian tubes, pervert!” own boobs. You have to use someone “Why not, Beatrice?” (If I applied “Okay, okay, Beatrice, don’t – get else’s) but I like my masculinity, and I for my job as a woman, I would some rest. Take all the time you wouldn’t opt for a change. Normally. have to have a woman’s name, you need. I’ll cover for you. Hope you However, there are tempting aspects to see?) being a chick. feel better soon.” And not just how cosy blouses can feel. “If you must know, I’ve got When one discusses gender differences, cramps.” By Ernest Bazanye of course, one always runs the risk of “What?” The writer seems to have a thing for being offensive. Like Bill Cosby. That “Cramps bitch muthafucker! Britney Spears . read more from the sexist bastard. I swear Bill. Have a coke I’ve got cramps! You stupid idiot writer at BAZANYE.WORDPRESS. and a smile and shut the fuck up. man! With your fucking hideous COM (Pauses while all you eighties babies try penis-thing! Have you ever had so hard to remember where you have a fallopian tube? Do you know heard that line before.) what it’s like to have things Now, one difference between men and shredding the walls of your woman is menstruation. Men don’t and fallopian tube? You BASTARD!!” women do. “Um, Beatrice, I’m not…” Another difference between men and “Why don’t you ever listen to me? women is understanding menstruation. Why don’t you like me? I thought Men, once again don’t. we were friends. I … I… loved We have no idea what it is about and you…” we are quite afraid to ask. Even if we “No, look it’s okay. Take the day do ask, I mean, honestly, do you really off. Take as much time as you think we would get a full appreciation of need. We’ll cover for you while what goes on, what it feels like, what it you are gone. Get some rest.” entails? No. To guys, therefore, periods Hangs up before any reply. are like the Kraken. All we know is that Heh heh. Sweet. 23 it exists and beyond that, just a cloud of ADS, EVENTS AND EVERYTHING ELSE
Ram Hadji Muhammad 01 July *Aino Lara 01 July* Mugejjera Ibrah Sulaiman 01 July* Raymond Ojakol 01 July* Stella Mwase 01 July* Douglas Mukasa 03 July* Julius Magala 03 July* Musoke John Gerard 03 July* Hakizimana Julius 04 July* Tukam Dixon Kyaba 04 July * Muhumuza Edgar 05 July* Robert Kigozi 05 July * Helene Rodger 06 July* Edwin Moses 06 July · Penelope Katanagi 06 July* Peter Barigye 06 July* Ruth Keane 06 July* Kafeza Gladys 07 July · Kagoro Conrad 07 July ·Julius Akumwami 07 July · Monica Ajwang 07 July* Richard Sali 07 July · Eddie Galabuzi 08 July* Winnie Nyakake 08 July* Edgar Muhumuza 09 July* Matthew Rukaari 09 July* Anky Ruby 10 July* Pumla Nabachwa Rugamba 10 July · Morris Ndekwe 10 July* John Kalyesubula 11 July · Muwazi Daniel 11 July · Paulsen Hall 12 July* Mugisa Eric 12 July* Kakuru Caleb 12 July · Alan Arrington 13 July · Anita Suenos 13 July* Dean “Agent Baker ”Munene Arnold 15 July* Linda Tusiime 16 July * Nahida Bhegani 16 July * Okabo Emmanuel 16 July* Bida Francis Mozeh 17 July · Brenda Ntambirweki 18 July* Alan Ssenyonga 18 July* Kabagambe Jimmy 18 July* Eric KêBa 19 July* Jonathan Ebuk 20 July* Jeffta Kwangwari 20 July* Judith Biryabarema 20 July* Edward Hire Yosia 21 July · Semanda Andrew Muwanguzi 21 July * Denis K Lugoloobi 22 July · Monica Mugisha 22 July* Jo Jo 22 July* Pamela Achii 22 July* Niwagaba Peter 22 July ·
• VICTORIA CUP (ELGON CUP) UGANDA VS KENYA Date: Saturday, 03 July 2010 Time:14:00 - 17:00 KAMPALA UGANDA • AUTHORS’ FORUM - 7TH JULY 2010; Wednesday, 07 July 2010 Time:17:00 - 20:00 Location:NATIONAL THEATRE AUDITORIUM great inspirational talks, musical presentations, poetry, comedy & lots of other inspirational and entertaining activities. And of course Pablo - is always the man behind d mic! ENTRANCE FEE IS 15,000/= (and if paid at least 3 days to the event, you get a free copy of World of Inspiration Magazine). To book, contact worldofi [email protected] / 0712868424. Miss at your own risk!
24 All comics in this issue provided by www.xvcd.com
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