•SI . VOLUME VI. WASHINGTON CITY, D. C., APRIL 2,1876. NUMBER 5.

—A man by the name of Bell appeared before " Then be thankful that I did not bite it olT. Let A case occurred showing this, and not long since, upon the little balcony above the bay window, he THE CAPITAL, the War Department investigating committee gratitude fill your soul at my kingly forbearance. where a prime minister of one of the first govern- was yet more bothered to find a crowd of negroes PUBLISHED WEEKLY, last Friday, and told a tale which in many re- That is reward enough." ments of Europe put an affront on us he would not and boys with torches, who greeted him with rous-^. spects we would hesitate to believe from a wit- So says this Government in the shape of a wolf, have dared offer any other civilized power in the ing cheers. This was familiar music to his Demo- BY THE and so help us Moses that is the .only Government world. And did we resent the insult? Not at all. cratic ears, and forthwith he launched into a Demo- ness who followed an honest pursuit for a living. we have ever had. On the contrary, we accepted eagerly the situation cratic speech. For a few minutes his audience Capital Publishing Company, He is one of the American secret service bureau, And now, over the developments of extravagance, and bumped our admiring skulls upon the floor in listened in utter astonishment. Then, as with biting and this fact throws a cloud upon his testimony. theft and fraud in this very Government, the land is presence of the beautiful affront. sarcasm he attacked the corruptions of this Admin* 927 D street, Washington, D. 0. His evidence refers in part to Mr. A. C. Bradley, ringing with abuse of our town. It is the cooleBt Now Washington can be divided—not to be offen- istration, he was greeted with hisses. When he re- DONN PIATT and B. G. LOVEJOY Editors. a young lawyer of this city, whose life has been impudence we ever encountered. Why, the citizens sive—as railroad men divide their stock, into Wash- ferred to bayonet rule and the bloody rascality of spent here, whose early manhood has been de- of Washington have not been extravagant. They ington proper and Washington preferred. The first carpet-baggers fearful groans broke oat. But when TERMS: $2.50 per year (including postage) in cannot ¡Afford to be. They never stole anything. is made up of our dearly-beloved old town in all its bespoke of the disgusting spectacle of brutal negroes advance. voted to stricly professional pursuits, and whose They never had the opportunity, and never will have. culture, christian virtue and sober stability; the last being returned to the House and Senate, the most CLUBS : Ten copies to one address, $20 in ad- character for integrity is so universally recog- It is citizen Belknap of Keokuk, citizen Delano of frightful scene of cpnfusion followed. He heard" vance, with one copy free. Twenty copies to one of the floating political and social element that make nized that the statements and insinuations of himself denounced as a renegade and traitor, and in .address, $35 in advance, with one copy free. Mount Vernon, citizen Rotund of New Jersey, and so of our city a fashionable resort. The last has here- this witne^ cannot disturb the good opinion in on through the rogues' gallery of old oifenders. The tofore controlled. We suggest a change ot front. the midst a dead cat, gathered up from some ad- law-abiding, sober, civilized, church-going citizens of If the old, recognized families, the refined as well as joining alley, whistled through the air and hit him CONTENTS OF INSIDK. which he is held. Washington are as innocent as the late Ylce-Presideut moral people, choose, they can control the worse on his already damaged nose. Then followed old PAGE 2 —" Types of Character in Washington," We would like just here to add that this wit- Henry Wilson, who was so good that he closed his sen" element, and restore to us once more our good name. boots, and soon bats, brickbats, in a shower, hnr- by James Q,. Howard. ness, and the class to which he belongs, are an atorial eyes lest he see somebody steal something. They would find ere long-active cooperation from tied and rattled about his devoted law-making skull. PAGE 3.—-" Why We Laugh " and " Old Supersti- We were wont to'designate Congress as the national the better class of officials. The present condition A hasty retreat was in order. He retreated, and the tions." outgrowth of the Administration. It does not delegated ignorance, and now, from sad experience is as offensive to the Fishes, Bristows, Pierreponts crowd, after breaking his windows, relieved itself PAGE 6.—New York Letter. rest with the Republicans to point at the char- we call the whole Government the delegated Iniquity and others as it is to the better sort of our own people. of some fearful yells and dispersed. PAGE 7.—Chronicles of Congress, etc. acter of such witnesses, who, when they do tell the truth, expose the secrets of their former of the land. Its representatives hail from every part Let us begin this reform by recognizing the axiom Our friend sent for Doctor Garnett. of the country but the District of Columbia. If any employers. that an office-holder is not ex-officio a gentleman ; "Doctor," he asked, plaintively, Vis there any- EVENTS. rogues are found under Hallet Kilbourn's deeds of and if the moral tone is brought to bear here thing in this disease of mine that affects the brain ?" trust, we will wager a North Pacific bond that they as elsewhere, another season will experience a purer "Certainly not," responded the eminent M. D. —Mrs. William H. Osborne of New York, a are all aliens to us. —Your average congressman must have his atmosphere than we have been breathing during the "Why?" daughter of the late Jonathan Sturges, has pur- If, however, there were any truth in the abuse, in last ten years. " I seem to be in a dream—a horrible nightmare. joke; he is not a legislator if he is not a funny chased Cozzens' West Point Hotel, and pro- what are we worse than any other city of the United Our Colored Friend. I don't know what's the matter with me;" and he fellow. The following paragraph, taken from poses to dedicate it to the uses of convalescents States ? Wherein would we differ from New York, then narrated his day's adventures. The Doctor We came in possession, the other day, of rather a the Baltimore Sun's Washington correspond- Philadelphia, St. Louis or any other incorporated laughed till the tears came, and then, leading his from the New York hospital. Such a beautiful good story anent a new member of the House, that ence, suggests the graveyard scene in Hamlet, iniquity, that we should be selected for such lively patient to the mirror, said: and practical charity deserves that recognition will bear publication. assaults ? And the attacks come from the very where clowns, engaged in a serious occupation, which may enforce the good example on the at- He is a modest—no, not modest exactly, but a shy " My friend, I have unintentionally medicated you places that are so wicked that, considering the way indulge in much levity. The occasion was the sort of gentleman. It is astonishing how many into an American citizen of African descent." tention of those who squander their wealth in in which the Lord disposed of Sodom and Gomorrah, _ Wednesday's session of the Emma mine investi- perky members elect at home sink into this uncom- The poor M. C. has since been bleaching himself the vulgar display of modern society, and have we are impressed with the belief that Divine Provi- gating committee: fortable state after being sworn in. From being the back to his Anglo-Saxon complexion. dence Is not in these later days doing so much as he' little to show for their expenditures except first man of the village he sinks into the la»t at once did in that line of business. "The chairman said that as the proceedings had champagne headaches, terrapin-tortured diges- Home, and from one extreme he naturally swings been rather dry, he would asjc Mr. Schenck whether tions and a host of eating and drinking para- General Teoumseh Sherman. over to the otker. He finds himself lost in a crowd, LATEST BY TELEGRAPH. the drawing he handed to him was a true represen- The latest specimen of moral philosophy engaged and the eye of the Speaker—that blessed dispensa- tation of that distinguished gentleman, Albert sites for their friends. Important from the Rio Grande. in this abuse Is the above-named gentleman. He tion that lifts one from obscurity—is monopolized by •Grant? [Laughter] The drawing was a carica GALVESTON, April 1.—A special to the Galveston • —The avidity with which army officers, such made a speech not long since—of course, if he could a dozen men no better than himself. He feels News from Brownsville, Texas, dated the first, says ture. Mr. Hewitt remarked that perhaps Mr. as Custer and Hazen, are improving the oppor- not breathe through his chin-music, as bad little keenly his enforced obsfiurity, but accepts the situa- that night before last Mr. Sustendal, an American »Schenck conld not tell, as be had seen the original citizen, aged sixty years, was placed on the top of tunity to unload their memories of facts and boys call it, he would choke to death, this Epau- tion, in a shy, awkward sort of way that is quite the parapet wall in Matamocas. In the event the -only once. Mr. Schenck said the representation of letted Absurdity—this pronoun " I," with a sword amusing to everybody. revolutionists had made an attack he would have •Grant was not half as bad as the pictures that had their pent-up feelings of virtuous indignation, been really between two fires and certainly have been attached, opens his mouth, and immediately a weak Well, our shy Solon attended the sessions and been made of him. He only remembered Grant as indicates that they have been bottled up,by pru- killed. stream of peurile talk spreads over the land. He worked in his committee. He answered twenty a small man. dence or fear or discipline or some other cause, About eleven o'clock at night Consul Wilson went delivered his latest for our benefit, and said that he letters a day, and ran through the departments as to General Labarra and demanded Sustendal's in- V Mr. Hewitt said the committee, General Schenck until now that the time comes they must speak had no thought of making Washington his head- agent for his constituents, until he succumbed to the stant release, and the demand was complied with. and others here would soon see themselves in an To-day orders were received from Washington, at or suffer all the consequences of concealment of quarters again. His headquarters are about as in- bad ventilation the pain t-and-putty architect, illustrated^ view, as an artist for one of the illus- least so reported, and Consul Wilson came to this things that seem to have stirred up to the very teresting to us as his hindquarters, and where he Clarke, supplied, the Hall. Not only was his con- bank. Yery soon the Rio Bravo steamed up, crossed trated papers had been here sketching them." locates them—as he has sothtng under heaven to the river and made fast to the Mexican bank. This depths their military gall. gressional throat swollen and sore, but a strange, was about four o'clock. Steam launches are policing If these gentlemen are earnestly engaged as a do—Is a matter of utter Indifference to the people at irritating eruption broke out over his law-making the river. Soundings have been made. judicial body, they should reserve their exu- —Every now and then Vesuvius bursts out large. person. He sent for Doctor Garnett, and Garnett It is reported that President Grant has directed But the reasons—if we may use such a word, in not only put potions in him, but a lotion on him, in that foreign residents of Matamoras shall be pro- berant gayety for after dinner conversation. St. and so do the Mexican people. One of these tected against the exactions and oppressions of Mex- • Paul says there is a time for all things, though periodical revolutions is now going on with our this connection—for not locating any part of this his (Garnett's) usual heroic manner. And the ican authorities. Foreign residents of Matamoras distinguished body among us, are that he cannot Solon gradually convalesced, One morning he de- now in this place are highly delighted. A goodly we question whether the great sophist ever con- neighbor which results in putting the under number of them live on the river bank. They say rail uppermost. It does not, however, long oc- live in so extravagant a place upon his salary, and termined to attend a sitting of the honorable body of General Labarra will get no more money except templated the assignment of any segment of that he cannot expose his family to the corrupt which he was a member. He had not consu lted his from Mexicans. life for congressional witticism. If a chairman cupy this positton, but in turn is shifted. These influence of our moral atmosphere. looking-glass—too modest for that. Had he done Late in the evening the gunboat steamed up to the in future finds proceedings dry, and pants for republics below os seem to possess all the ele- so he would have seen, to his wonder and distress, upper edge of Matamoras and came to anchor. Ex- "Dear me," what a sad affair it is, to besnre! pectations of brisk times on the other side are great. moist minutes, let him not mingle them with ments of self-destruction but. none of the quali- To live economically. toHve morally, t^is gre&L ^d that the lotion given him' by Doctor Garnett had The order above mentioned came dlrsetiy to Cap- public business or inject them into the grave" ties of progress, developmentand national unity. good man must be relegated to St. Louis. St. Louis turned his face to a dusty copper color. He wasA tain Johnson, and directed him to proceed imme- other than what he had been, but all unaware of his diately to Matamoras and assist the consul in giving •affairs of investigation. is such a high-toned, moral place. A boy six years protection to American citizens. Two days since & —General William B. Hazen, one of General old can be trusted with a night-key in St. Loui* and transmogrification, he approaehed the entrance to deputation of foreigners residing in Matamoras Sherman's most distinguished aids, has written have a good show for heaven. It is such a sober, the hall of the House. The doorkeeper hesitated. waited upon ;General Potter and requested him to —It is with more than ordinary gratification take steps to protect them from outrage. quiet, well-behaved town, is St. Louis. It does not But the honorable member moved forward so deci- that we are able to record a marked improve- a letter to the Hon. Heister Clymer, in which he The General told them to send him a communica- dedly that the man, half opening the door, asked: ment in the health of Mr. Speaker Kerr. says that he knew and told of the disgraceful convict its leading men of high crimes and misde- tion in writing, as the change in the programme has post-tradership proceedings some time ago. He meanors and send them to the penitentiary—oh no! " Member, sir ?" rendered that unnecessary, and the matter of sup- His election was accepted as a necessity by The fact is, among other little failings of old Te- plying General Labarra with powder has been ven- was rewarded by an honorable exile—not to **, Of course," was the response, in some wonder, tilated, but cannot be given tO/the public yet. The those Democrats who differed from him on cumseh is a disposition to variegate the truth. Now for the guardian of the portal knew our friend well blame is not on Captain Johnson's shoulders. financial questions, and by the rest it was re- Europe, as General Meigs was, but to New he did not leave Washington on account of its im- enough; that is, he knew him before he was dyed; To-day a surgeon was busy preparing bandages, Mexico. morality or extravagance. He went off to St. Louis lint; &c., for General Diaz's troops. Th$>faovement garded a3 the most satisfactory fulfillment of past "Member!" quoth the doorkeeper, as the Solon of the gunbeat is said to be worth ten thousand men in a huff. He wanted to be general of the army, entered. " Humph! member from Africa." to the revolutionary cause. The military are on the pledges and the surest omen of future faith to the —Mr. Lord of New York, from the Commit- alert, and would be glad to take a part should it Secretary of War, and several other things not pro- Our friend took his seat and was sorting over his principles of reform and economy. tee on the Judiciary, submitted last Friday a vided for in the Constitution. G-rant is ready enough become necessary in defense of our citizens. The regret that Mr. Kerr has heretofore been mail, when a gentleman of African descent ap- report on Attorney General Pierrepont's letter to break the Constitution, but he would not do so at proached, and, bending over, said confidentially, in Express Office Bobbed. prevented from the full exercise of those powers in reference to the use of accomplices as wit" that time for Tecumseh, as he (Grant) was in a huff. an undertone: CLEVELAND, April 1.—A special .dispatch from Grant wanted Sherman to assign his son Fred, to for which he is preeminent is removed by the " Pinchback's defeate d, sure." Akron, says that the office of the United States Ex- nesses. The committee mildly criticises the posi- duty on his (Sherman's) staff, with rank, pay and press Company was robbed last night. The express prospect of his restoration to health and the " What ?" asked our pnzzled friend. tion which the letter leaves the good-intentioned emoluments of lieutenant colonel, that Fred, might messenger and clerk sleep up stairs over the office, "I say Pinchback's lost his seat, sure." an inside stairway leads to the bed room. The par- physical capacity to renew the labors which have writer in, and tells him not to do so anymore. be at home, under the moral restraint—as to intoxi- " You don't say so." ties went to bed at 11 o'clock last night, and before already been invaluable to his country and the cating liquors—of his father. Also, that he (Fred.) retiring placed an iron bar across the door. "Yes, I does; de crisis is on us dis time, an'we Democratic party. The New York Herald of could go into the banking business, look after his This morning the clerk found that the key of the mas' stan' shoulder to shoulder or de cause is lost." safe had beenr .taken from his pocket during the SOCIAL GOSSIP. interest in the real-estate pool, and build houses last Monday announces thirteen eligible candi- "I am much obliged to you, my friend, for this night. Be harried below, where the safe was with the best of them. Sherman said to him nay. found open, with the key in the door. The robber dates for the Democracy to choose from, and information; but what I have to do with the cause Our Society. Hence these tears and a removal to St. Louis. When had carried off $12,000-in-cash and several sealed among them mentions Mr. Kerr in the following is more than I can make out.'' bags of money. The.loss, it is' thought, will a in aunt "Washington city is in many respect's one of the he asked for permission to go to St. Louis, Grant " You—you! why you is de man all eyes turn on; to twenty-five or thirty "thousand dollars..; paragraph: most unfortunate localities known to the country. said he might go to the devil, which was tantamount you is bein' talked of all ober de town. I tell ye " A CENTENNIAL CANDIDATE.—Kerr of Indiana is "With a Government owning one half the property, to saying yes. Outrage. one of the few statesmen from the Western wing of we are sure to have a Congress that refuses to pay dere's goin' to be a serenade dis night, so you be MEMPHIS, April 1.—Thursday morning last tblr: That is the true story and the whole story, and it the Democratic party brave enough to stand by a its share of taxation. With streets and avenues prepared, sah ; yes, sah." store of Hirsch Bros., at Somerville, Tennessee, was saves our general the absurdity of having required principle in spite of a faction. Kerr is so thoroughly planned on a scale of magnificence that wonld dis- And before the bewildered member conld recover broken open by a party of fifteen disguised men, who, ten years' residence in Washington to discover its after beating two of the Hirsch's, tied ropes around a friend of gold and silver that he would give us a courage the wealthiest community, sink Chicago and from his astonishment the man was gone. What their necks and dragged them through the streets extravagance and corruption. 'bullion canvass." amaze a Hausmann, we have the pe'ople of the could the fool mean by Pinchback and the cause, for some time, finally releasing them with the assur- United States refusing to pave, drain or light them, Our Duty. * aQd he a Democrat from the South ? The fellow ance that should they remain there another day they — Mr. Adeibert Ames, the son-in-law of his would be killed. When the brothers returned to or have any part in such improvement. With a Our costly lessons of experience would be lost must be crazy. their store they found it had been robbed of $1,900. father-in-law, the young man who acquired no floating population far in excess of that in any other upon us were we not to take some active measures It was the wont of our friend to rise from his seat The citizens of Somerville held a meetiug and organ- glory in the army, no respectability in the Sen- community—a floating population that pays noth- looking to social'reform. Our trouble is in a lack of every morning with fifty others and shout "Mr. ized a committee to protect the Hirsch's. ate, and nothing but shame in the gubernatorial ing in the way of assessments—we are called upon self-assertion. Through generations of training we Speaker, Mr. Speaker," at the full pitch of his lungs Obituary. chair, has resigned, and Mississippi bids fare- to educate their children, sewer their houses, light have come to a sort of superstition in regard to the Why he or they did this no man could tell, for the RICHMOND, April 1.—Thomas U. Dudley died here well to her lost carpet-bagger, and wipes her their dark ways and pave their sidewalks. With no political element at the national capital. This has Speaker never sees any one of them. Perhaps it is to-night of rheumatism of the heart, aged sixty- business encouraged by Government—for if a public been well for us in some respects—one notably, in considered healthy exercise, or perhaps that is the eight. He was grand treasurer of the Grand Masonic weeping eyes. building is erected at the national capital the stone Lodge of Virginia, and treasurer of the Grand Royal subordinating mere wealth to a sort of mental cul- way to be congressmen. What the reason may or Arch Chapter and Grand Commandery of the State. This governor was about being tried on is quarried in Massachusetts, dressed at the quarry, ture. This was not of the highest sort, but better may not be, our friend started up on this ^occasion, During life he held several high official positions impeachment articles, but he made a proposi- brought in Yankee vessels to our wharf, hauled to than pretensions born cf money. For nearly half a and to his astonishment the Speaker recognized him. in this city, and was the father of Bishop Thomas its place by Yankee oxen driven by Yankee drivers, He had the eye of the Speaker. Strange sensation; U. Dudley of Kentucky, who was with him when he tion that he would retire to the feet of Gamaliel, century the claims of the merely rich had no recog- died. . at Lowell,and the offer was gladly accepted. and from foundation to roof every portion is par- nition in Washington. Distinction was political, and stranger, the moment this occurred a dead celed out to political favorites scattered over the mostly official; and one could live in the plainest silence fell upon the House, and every face turned to The Prince of Wales ALEXANDRIA, EGYPT, April 1.—The Prince of The State subjected so long to his usurpation land. Contracts for paper, ink, indeed every con- and most economical «tyle, and yet hold position the amazed gentleman. He was equal to the emer- and misrule is to be congratulated in so cheaply Wales arrived in this city to-day, and immediately ceivable article called for, are given to friends of sena- socially, if possessed of political influence or an gency, and then and there introduced his little meas- proceeded on board the steamship Serapis. The getting rid of an obstacle to peace, economy, tors or members of the House in payment for politi- office. ure and made his little speech that he had been re- steamer will sail for Malta on Monday. political integrity and independence. cal services, or perhaps for a divide of the profits. hearsing from the first day of the session. Members This state of affairs changed in the late civil war, The Mississippi Biver. We can havrf no public work so managed as to bene- and since then mere wealth has encroached upon gathered around and listened attentively, and as he —Professor C.-V. Eiley, the State entomolo- fit the city. That is its objective point. While State resumed his seat he enjoyed a further surprise in MEMPHIS, April 1.—It has been raining almost official life, each corrupting the other, until we are continuously for the past twenty-four hours; though gist of Missouri, and the president of the St. capitals, such as Columbus, Indianapolis or Spring- held up as a wicked community, deserving reproach. hearing a Democrat remark quite audibly, "He the river is now five inches above danger line and Louis Academy of Science, in a recent lecture in field, resemble the hub of a wheel, with railroads A member of the Cabinet, a senator, any high offi speaks right pert for a niggar." rising steadily^little damage is reported as yet. radiating to all points, the national capital had for The river is now five inches higher than on the 15th St. Louis on "Insects," said that the annual loss cial, is expected to expend socially as if he were a Feeling far from well after his late attack, he soon ef last August, and within fourteen inches of ex-' to farmers caused by insects averaged$100,000,000 over half a century one poor little road, that was millionaire. His house must exhibit all the luxuries wended his way back to his rooms, and on Pennsyl- treme high water of 1867. controlled for the benefit of Baltimore. incident to wealth, and his entertainments be in a year; that the chinch bug alone during 1874 vania avenue, meeting a lady of his acquaintance The Weather To-Day. And yet, under this oppression, we are abused keeping. His wife and daughters, if he have a fam- cansed a loss of $30,000,000 in the Western States, with her escort, he politely lifted his hat. The two For the Middle and Eastern States rising, followed throughout the length and breadth of the country. ily, must be gorgeous in Worth dresses and blaze, stared at him in a queer way, and the gentleman es- by stationary barometer, cooler followed by warmer of which $19,000,000 were lost in Missouri. We are called loafers,paupers,impudent dependents, with diamonds. During the season their recep tions corting the fair dame hurried into a hat store, and weather, Northwest to Northeast winds and clear, Professor Riley estimated the losses by locusts and asked what would we be without the seat of Gov- a matinee and. a night reception each week, must overtaking our colored M. C. said, angrily : followed by partly cloudy or hazy weather. (grasshoppers) during the last three years at ernment. When an ass of an editor lifts his journalis- entertain crowds-, at which game, oysters, terrapin " How dare you insult that lady, you skunk ?" Nearing the Climax. $50,000,000." tic voice and asks that, we are reminded of the one and choice wines make the refreshments. The poor The M. C. had been ill; he was yet feeble, and al- good thing uttered by the late Horace Greeley when wife spends her days in a satin-lined coach stolen Detroit grocers; not satisfied with advertising, put- though unaware of the fact, deeply colored; but his ting out circulars and nailing cards to private houses,, —Mr. Curtis, who, in his conscientious devo he said: "1 am filled with awe and ponder at the from the department, pulled by Government horses wrath was strong as ever, and so he collided his have struek a new idea. A man calls from house to tion to civil service reform, reformed himself mysterious ways of Divine Providence when I see and driven by a messenger paid from the Treasury. right law-making fist on the nose of the questioner. house and offers to take orders for even a bar of the number of newspapers controlled by damned Her daylight is given to returning calls on people soap or a box of matches, and bring the goods to the into, unpopularity and out of office, thus ad- A lively set-to followed, and although the Solon used house. Strange things happen in this strange world. dresses the corner grocer, the close caucus and fools." she does not know, and her nights to entertainments due diligence in getting round and in on his adver- Five years hence a gentleman may drive around The seat of Government! Why go to the devil that are without heart or life. It is a magnificent sary, he would have been a badly damaged part of after a pair of white horses, call at a house, pull off national convention, as to candidates. We say glitter of utter nothingness based on fraud. If any his white kid gloves, touch his hat and politely re- with your seat of Government. What would be the Congress but for the interference of the police. As mark : thus addresses these«centers of popular favor, be- condition of j'our official agents here but for the official attempts to escape such life, as did Boutwell it wa£, he found himself under arrest, and would " Mr. Rush has established a new grocery store on cause they hold the balance of fate: patient forbearance of our people? But for our and Cox—one from principle and the other from have been walked off to quod had he not fished up a Woodward avenue. If yon want anything in our meanness—he and his family are first sneered at line I shall be happy to sell it to you at half cost, " Fine professions of reform with candidates who christian endurance and charity we would have a card and two or three envelopes addressed to the M. wait six months for pay, and then take it in old are themselves constituent parts of the thing to press like unto New York city and other ungodly and then ostracized! C. The police of Washington know enough to be boots, broken flower pots and rusty gate-hinges." reformed will not carry the country." localities, .that every morning would make your Cases in Point. aware of the fact that a member' cannot be arrested The consumer won't have kept pace with the commissioned frauds wish they were dead. when on his way to and from the Capitol, and so our times, and he will hesitate. The agent will go on : In the Virginia house of delegates, on Satur- To what this state of affairs has reduced ufe the " .We are determined to rush off these goods. Our What would we do without the seat of Govern- late developments illustrate. The poor man taking friend was released. object is to oblige the pnblic, not to make money.

For Tai CAPITAL, illustrious woman's origin and antecedents. Canada was better adapted to the collapsed con- DEY GOODS. THE COABSEST HOLD MAY HOLD FUSE Both received illumination. dition of his system. Like a certain immaculate BANKERS AND BROKERS, GOLD. It appeared that the envied society leader was Cabinet minister, he inhaled the bracing atmos- BY COLIN ITLDOE. in early life Miss Sophia Suds, offspring of Mike phere of those hyperborean regions so long as it H. E. 8FFLEY & CO., Suds, the fortunate possessor of a cart and pick remained too hot for him at home. BANKERS, Two soldiers stood, with cap In hand, in Limerick, Ireland. Michael being a railway The Hon. Mr. Chubb returned to his former OF "Within their captain's tent; constructor in a pickian or Pickwickian sense, WASHINGTON, D. C. The latter slowly turned his head congenial pursuit of smuggling or robbihg the As o'?er his desk he bent : emigrated to down eastern Maine, where the people collectively instead of individually, and Bank of Deposit, Exchange, Collection, Ac. Anxiety and weariness routes of railroads have to be picked out with the gay and expansive Mrs. Senator Chubb, find- SPRING DRY GOODS United States Gold and Silver Coin and Coupons Upon his features blent. Hibernian assiduity. Miss Sophia at sweet six- ing it somewhat awkward to explain the endless boughtand sold. Foreign Coin and exchange. Govern- One had a self-assertive air teen was made familiar with the chemical pro- absence of her distinguished husband, retired in (AT THE OLD STAND OF YATES & MITCHELL.) ment Bonds, all Issues and denominations. And manner spirited ; cesses of the wash-tub, her mother having We have opened our new store, and are now pre- District Columbia securities dealt In and loans nego- The other, big and loose of form, bad order from the scene of her triumphs, and assumed the weighty responsibility of keeping was soon dissolved, by thft corrosive wit and pared to show an entire new and large assortment of tiated. Stood back with drooping head. the linen or rather the woolen of sixteen mem- Collections made at lowest rates and drafts cashed " Well, KoapeT, well, Malone, what now T' satire of her «¡temporaries, Into her original ele- and Issued on the principal cities. The captain coldly said. bers of the pick-ax brigade " dacently clane." ments, and became again, as she in reality had Through familiarity on the part of her country- Strict personal attention given to orders for Invest- "Malone, here, sir," the first began, never ceased to be, simple Soap Suds. Foreign and Domestic Dry Goods, men, Miss Sophia's name was early contracted ment Securities, and Information concerning them " Have heard sad news, ye see. A type of character exhibiting certain except cheerfully sought and furnished. dec20-tf8 He'd like a furlough, sir, and av into Soph Suds, and thence was transformed by tional phases in Washington is the mercenary Hosieries. &c., &c., Ye-can, convalnylntlee " a very natural corruption into Soap Suds. Soap P. A. DARNEILLE, The captain knit his "brows : "Why can't Suds was therefore the maiden name by which newspaper reporter. It is by means' of the spe- He speak himself?" said he. Purchased at the declining rates, Our specialties are a the coming society belle was known during this cial dispatches, furnished by their own special full line of | (Late Dodge & Darnellle,) "Bekase, ye see, me comrade's heart correspondents, that the editors of the great earlier part of her history. It was two years BLACK AND COLOEED SILKS, It do be sorely wrung; dailies are guided in their editorial comments on subsequent to this interesting period that Miss FANCY DRESS GOODS, Real Estate, Stock & Bill Broker,, He do be very bashful, sir, public affairs, and through the same channels (Poortlckler fen unsthrung ;) Suds met her fate on board a schooner laden MOURNING GOODS, And axed me would I spake for him, that the outside world gets its impressions of OFFICE, COR. SEVENTH AND LOUISIANA AVE., with lumber and bound for the port of Wilming- HOUSEHOLD WARE, That have an alsy tongue. ton, North Carolina. Mr. C. Chubb was in the men and things. This agency has probably more WASHINGTON, D. C. 41 control in directing public opinion than all other FLANNELS, CL0TH8' • This letther's from the pralst at home : saw-log and lumber line and Miss Soap Suda in Money Loaned on Ileal Estate and There's sorry news wldln ! the culinary line, or, to employ the customary agencies combined. The power of the special CURTAIN LACES, District Securities. It says his -wife is dyln, sir, correspondent is almost without limit, and his DOME8TIC8, Away from frlnds or kin, form of expression, had accepted the position of cook of the schooner. influence for'good or evil almost beyond compu- SUN UMBRELLAS, Stocks Sole], Attention giien to Selling And prayln but for days enough and Renting- Meal Estate. To see him wanst agin:?! tion. The theory of those living at a distance is, FINE HOSIER^. Whether it was a continued succession that the reporter who furnishes accounts of oc- An inspection of our stock and prices is cordially in- Reforencet, by permission : W. W. Corcoran, Esa.i The captain rose, the letter took, vltted. ( | A. H. Herr,_Esq ; &er. W. Biggs, Esq.; Htliry A. Wll- And scanned its words of woe ; moonlight nights on deck or an unbroken series curring events is some impersonal being Without lard, Esq.; Fltzhugh Coyle, Esq., bankers. The other watched him eagerly» of apple dumpling dinners under deck that con passions, without prejudices, without bias, with __ ' mar23-4tl " She's young and lone, ye knew !" quered Chickahominy's affections the log-book WOLFORD &SH9LBERC, no mercenary considerations to sway him from 13. II. "W-AJRJVEïfc, The captain paused : " A baby, ah 1 of the captian does not record. It is only clear 817 MARKET SPACE, Well, well, we'll let him go." the duty of speaking the exact truth about all that our hero's heart was well cooked, and the things or doing exact justice to all men. He is NEAR NINTH STREET. Till now a passive listener corresponding part of Sophia's anatomy was mar5-3mos8 SEAL ESTATE BROKER, Had stood poor Tom Malone ; supposed to occupy the sereriest Olympian ( The words were spoken soothingly, dished out daily with less than the usual amount Heights and breathe the purer atmosphere in- CORNER SEVENTH AND F STREETS N. W. And In a kindly tone ;• of caper sauce. We reject, as lacking histprical haled by the chief of the gods. A Decided Reduction And, starting forth, the captain's hand authenticity, the story of the jealous captain He elutched In both Ills own : that when Chickahominy was on his knees in the Mr. Blazaway Bleedem, who represents an actual rather than the imaginary reporter, is not Clutched it between his horny palms, act of offering his heart, hand and worldly IN THE BETAIL PBICJB OF And, trembling, forward leant : goods, including an interest in the schooner precisely that kind of a character. Sad to say, PROPERTY BOUGHT AND SOLD. MONEY CARE- The uptnrned face was ashen-hued ; upon the wet deck of which he was kneeling, he has the weaknesses and passions of other The tottering knees were bent ; . men. Coming to the capital with limited ac- FULLY INVESTED ON GOOD REAL ESTATE The silent lips were quivering; sudden lurch of the vessel sent the agitated Hoarse gulps the bosom rent lover down the open hatchway head foremost quirements and means, and unlimited mental and KID GLOVES. SECURITY. moral infirmities, he resolved to make money " Captain !" (at length the husky voice and landed the object of his affections, with the REFERENCE: ANY BANKING-HOUSE IN;WASH- same end foremost, in an open barrel of salt her though the heavens fall. Engaged in the busi- Contrived to break the spell—) 1 " Captain—I thank—I—captain, dear— ring and mackerel, from which she was with dif- ness of making and unmaking men, Bleedem feb6-3mo5 INGTO N". We have reduced the price of all our well-known and Gahdammeor sowl to hell I" ficulty fished out, having a dead herring in eacl saw no reason why that business should not be popular brands of Ladles' and Gentlemen's KID WM. DIOKSOK. J. B. PATTERSON ' He wrung the hand, and,«obblng loud, made profitable. Why should not our newspa- GLOVES 10 -cents to 25 cents per pair; and we have Bushed past the sentinel. nostril. But whether they were thus tempore added another make of GLOVES, which we shall sell rily separated or not by Neptune, who may have per great men, who, like three recent Vice Presi- In 2-button and 8-buttons, at the remarkably low price DICKSON & PATTERSON» The captain saw the man retreat, ' dents, have been created out of nothing, compen- of OS cents and $1.06 per pair. been himself jealous of Chickahominy, the hot STOCK BROKERS, At first in mute surprise ; sate their creator f Having a nose for notes, as And then he laughed a pleasant laugh- headed and hot-hearted lovers were soon forever But yet, I dare surmise, united, entering the State of North Carolina and well as a nose for news, Bleedem resolves that Real Estate and General Insurance Agents, It was not wholly merriment. that of matrimony about'the same time. Why the news he sends shall bo twice paid for—by Brought moisture to his eyes. should they not be gushingly happy? There the newspaper which employs him and by the Offices, «05 Fifteenth street, opposite U. 8. Treasury t existed a physical affinity. There was an intel- man or interest benefited by its publication. Our Price List will forthe Present 808 Four-and-a-half street, near office District Com- TYPES OF CHARACTER IN WASH- lectual sympathy, that is, each sympathized with Henee his inquiry was not what events had oc- missioners, Washington, D. C. INGTON. the other for being without any intellect. There curred, but what coloring given to such events be as Follows: Stocks aid Real Estate Bought and Sold. Money in- was a similarity of tastes, for the tastes of both would yield the largest percentage. vested. BY JAMES Q. HOWARD. were immeasurably low and their natures in The news transmitted, therefore, determined Ladies' 2-B'itton, $ .9o per Pair. Fire and Life Insurance Risks placed with the best eradicably vulgar. Their domestic peace was nothing but the amount of money involved in Ladies' 2-Batton, §1.25 per Pair. Companies on advantageous terms. Mrs. Senator Chubb, consort and political part- undisturbed, for there were few clergymen in the different measures before Congress, or rather, Ladies' 2-Button, $2.25 per Pair. Orders at the Washington Stock Exchange executed ner of the Hon. Chickahominy Chubb, shone with promptness and fldellty. myl7-tf the Chubb region, and none with great genius the proportion the promoters of such measures Ladies' 3-Button, $1.05 per Pair. with the brilliancy of a bright star in the social united with great personal magnetism. Ladies' 3-Button, $1.50 per Pair. firmament of the national city. In the opinion were willing to part with to have the special re- Ladies' 3-Button, $2.60 per Pair. CHARLES A. HINCKLEY & CO., of Madam Chubb's social satellites she was more porters in kheir favor. Blazaway never troubled Ladies' '4-Button, $1.50 per Pair. Real Estate Brokers and Insu- Chubb's wealth was equal to his vulgarity, himself about what had happened. His only Ladies' 6-Button, $2.00 per Pair. than a fixed star; she was a dazzling galaxy, a which is tantamount to saying that he was ver; full-clustered constellation. In personal charms concern was, who would pay best for misrepre- Men's 1-Button, $2.15 per Pair. rance Xgents, rich. He had accumulated a fortune by smuggling senting what had happened. He sought out the Men's 2-Button, $2.35 per Pair. she was not probably the equal of either Helen, saw-logs and lumber from the British province Room 81, le Droit Bnllding, 802 F Street,. Phryne or Cleopatra. Unlike a mathematical corruptible patriots and the go-betweens of the Washington, D.C. of New Brunswick down thé St. Jthn and St. lobby to learn who would give the most to die Money loaned on real estate, houses rented, rent line, the fetnale Chubb had prodigious breadth Croix rivers and thence into American ports. To collected. novi4-ry2 and thickness. She belonged to the Egyptian tate the language of his dispatches. When asked do this business up systematically required sy» We have also a very large stock In Ladles'and Men order of human architecture, the distinguishing tematic perjury. Each false oath netted the enter why he did not tell the truth about public'affairB DOGSKIN, CASTOR, "CLOTH, LISLE and other E. characteristics of which are massiveness, solidity be would reply, " The fact is, there is no market GLOVES, at very low prices. ' prising lumberman from one hundred to three General Claim and CoUection Agent. and strength. Her bare, broad shoulders sug- thousand dollars. This substituting daily per- for truth." Bleedem thought there was a market gested those of Atlas supporting a planet. Her jury for daily prayers might seem a severe strain for nothing that did not put money into his own DISTRICT CLAIMS A SPECIALTY. arms resembled in shapeliness the armor seen upon the conscience, but Chubb never felt it. pocket. He was perpetually for hire or for sale. in Dresden, which once encased the limbs of For the trifling consideration of a few hundred NO. 715 FIFTEENTH STREET, OPPOSITE The conscience only troubles those who have novl4-8 RIGGS & CO. Teutonic giants. Her countenance had an oleag- one. Chickahominy was fast becoming a power dollars Bleedem would elevate the feeblestof the inous glow, and like certain fiery planetary bod- in Almighty Dollardom. He operated heavily in feeble to the pinnacle of greatness or sink the SAFE INVESTMENT. ies, seemed always in process of cooling off. turpentine, and kept his spirits up until he sold grandest character on the continent to the level 933 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE *an30-3mo8 Stock privileges ®ne percent, from the market at low In dress the Hon. Mrs. Chubb combined and out his stock, clearing seventy per cent. of the lobby. In short, under the mercenary rate will pay large proSts the next thirty days. blended the rainbow hues of the autumn forest manipulations of this instructor of the public, He had an instinct for getting money, as the Gold, Stocks, Cotton and Tobacco bought and sold on with the more gorgeous tints of the tropics of fiction took the place of fact, falsehood became the most favorable terms. Liberal advances made on bloodhound has an instinct for the jugular vein. KEEN'S FASHION BAZAAR. Cancer and Capricorn. On extraordinary occa- the substitute for truth, money paid in hand consignments. Price lists and circulars free. Unlike Agassiz, who said he hadn't time to make CHARXES SMEDLEY & CO., sions it was said her plumage suggested the was the measure of merit, the stealers were the Just received Bankers and Brokers, 40 Bond street, near Gold and sudden conjunction of the tail of a comet with money, Chubb hadn't time to make anything Stock Exchange, N. Y. P. O. Box 3774. jaiU6-3mo8- else. Things went from good to better and from statesmen, the great thieves the great thinkers, A Full Stock of New Goods, the aurora borealis. But the most marked pecu- igantic schemes of plunder became comprehen- liarity in this extraordinary woman's composi- better to best. While watching the corners with Embracing all the latest designs in Plaid and Spring SPECIAL IMPROVEMENT TAIES eternal vigilance, Chubb succeeded in getting a sive systems of public improvement, raids on the and Summer Cassimeres for Gentlemen's tion was her sublime aspirations. Nothing short Treasury were termed the rightful collection of i and Youth's wear. of the leadership of society in the capital of our corner in tar. That settled it. Chubb was PAID ON THE MOST FAVORABLE TERMS BY tar king instead of a railway king, or at least a overdue debts,and plain jobs and square swindles Having made extensive repairs and large additions beloved country would satisfy this expansive were advocated under the head of unliquidated to my store, I respectfully ask the public toexaminemy female's vaulting ambition. tar and turpentine -prince, and his beloved Soap Hanson <& Blackford, Suds a millionairess. damages. E egant Assortment of Goods, Coming to Washington as the wife of a mem- Justice to Blazaway Bleedem compels us to Which cannot be. surpassed for beauty of design and There was but one thing wanting to make their texture south of New York. 519 Seventh street northwest. ber, she conceived the idea that social leadership felicity supreme; Chubb must go to Congress. admit that he was not always influenced by was a matter of newspaper puffs and popular And Chubb went. If it is extremely difficult for money in what he put in print. He was some- GEO. T. KEEN, INSURANCE. suffrage. Hence began a regular series of kitchen a rich man to get into the kingdom of heaven, times influenced by pure personal malice, or per- marl2-3mofi 414 NINTH STREET N. W. and cork-screw campaigns, interspersed with nothing is easier than for such a man to get into mitted himself to be made the channel through R. W. TYLER, which the animosities and hatreds of others could Mme. C. Donovan those social mass meetings called receptions; Congress. Money makes the member go. Office, 628 F street If. W., Washington, D.C. political barbecues, at which not an ox, but the Chickahominy Chubb was a typical congress- find free vent and wide public expression. Oc- guests are roasted, and wild, dizzy dances,where casionally, also, his dispatches would take tone All kinds of property Insured at rates in proportion- man in this, that he was conspicuously in want Has just arrived from Paris, and will open in a few to ri6k, without reference to any combination of under- from his petty personal or social relations with writers. Life and Accident Insurance In best com- the war-whoop, if not the paint, is omitted. In of all that knowledge it is necessary a law-maker days her new goods, consisting of panies. Over 840,000.000 Assets represented. 1e20-ly3> the chief industry of "Washington—peddling public men. If some dreary driveler or impene- should possess. He wsè mournfully ignorant of GRENADINE AND SUMMER SILK pasteboard or distributing cards—Madam Chubb the science of government, of political economy trable puff, calling himself a senator or some- T. J. BICKSLER, excelled. This involved no distressing demands and of legislation, but was quite familiar with thing else, invited Mr. Bleedem to elongate his COSTUMES, 486 Louisiana avenue, Washington, D. C., upon her intellectual department, but was purely the qualities of turpentine and the properties of limbs under his mahogany, this pigmy at once AND ALL THE NOVELTIES OF THE SEASON. a matter of physical endurance. Rumor relates assumed the proportions of a Bismarck or a Southern Collection and Claim tar. He was not acquainted with the constitu- Agency, that when our heroine ventured beyond the tional history of the United States or England, Burke, and the dripping drivel of a maw-worm BCXXKXIK'EK'K'I weather while carding her countrymen, she did Collects Claims and Accounts, Rents, &c. but he was an authority on saw-logs. He knew grew grander than the thunder tones of a Web- LANDLORD AND TENANT BUSINESS not distinguish herself as a conversationist. The nothing of the vital question of the day—finance; ster. BRANCH OF NO. 8, EAST 18TH ST., NEW YORK. In the District of Columbia, a Specialty. nov.21-5 solidity and breadth of her understanding were that is, he knew just so much as the Logans, There was one thing money could not induce 133S F STREET, OPPOSITE EBBITT HOUSE. not equal to the solidity and breadth of her the Kelleys and the Richardsons, but he was an Bleedem to do: it could not ¿nduce him to do jus- mar5-lmo8 ALES, MINERAL WATERS, ETC). anatomy. For it is related that on one occasion, oracle on hackmatack knees and sugar-box tice or to commend an honest man whose hon- when urged by a fashionable friend to have a shooks. He might have given some intelligent esty was a perpetual reproof to the venal and the tooth extracted which was troubling her, Madam Removed.. q votes for laws against smuggling had he been vile, and whose example, if contagious, would to . Chubb replied " that a great many had told her disinterested, but being in the business, he put an end to the profitable sale of the conscience a td S she must have the tooth extracted, but that she and the pen. ¿Hence he was only mercenary -s always voted to render such laws ineffectual and ©fei was going to have it pulled out and be done inoperative. In short, he voted on the wrong when not malicious; could not be bribed with O •with it!" side of the majority of questions through igno- money if first bribed with a dinner, and while Miss E. A. McCormick C3 ranee, and on the wrong side of those he under m Madam Chickahominy's chief solicitude per- his convictions and affections were on the market HAS REMOVED TO • stood through mercenary interest. Having dis- tained to the addition of names to her visiting his hatreds only were holy. m H o tinguished himself in this way he was, of course, 522 NIKTH STREET, UNDER ST. CLOl'D, O list. The city directory as a list was abandoned Let ys pray that this leper in a lofty profes- i—i Q. elevated to the Senate by a grateful constitu- sion may soon perish utterly from the earth ! ö s? on finding herself in the astonished presence of "WHERE SHE WILL OPEN A FINE > P the family of her hackman. But after balancing ency—or his own greenbacks. But whether it was his brilliant record in the House of Repre- f forward and back over avenues three miles long, Tlie Romance of Eamartine's Harriage. STOCK OF MILLINEEY GOODS, O fei I—i sentatives or his more brilliant operations in tar H waltzing on four sides of squares solid and hol- The story of the marriage of the great French Í2¡ to ÖS P low, chassezing up and down the sides of trian- that accounted for his extraordinary popularity poet and statesman is one of romantic Interest. The And will be happy to see her friends and customers. s co H lady was of an English family named Birch, and ap4-ly5 B © 3 gles, and swinging her partner and pasteboard with the members of the State legislature, must very wealthy. She first fell in love with the poet » !/> around the circumference of circles, the self-im- be left to conjecture or to an investigating com- from reading his "Meditations Poetiques." She Spring SI O mittee to decide. was slightly past the bloom of youth, but still young 1 15» w oc molating woman would fall exhausted upon her and fair. She read and re-read the " Meditations," H and nursed the tender sentiment in secret. At Will open on WEDNESDAY and THURSDAY, April fi1 3 H own threshold, where, after the application of length she saw Lamartine in Geneva, and her love fé But Senator Chubb's career in the Senate of 6 and 6, Paris Pattern Bonnets andHats, choice French a £ « the proper restoratives and the necessary spong- became a part of her very life. Not long after this B S the republic was brief aqd somewhat inglorious. she was made acquainted with the fact that the e O Ü ing off, she would come up smiling in the morn- Flowers, French Chip and Straw Hats, Frosted and V—1 K¡ S Committing perjury had become such an uncon- poet was suffering, even .to unhappiness, from the t m O ing, ready for each day's card-sowing cotillion. embarrassed elate of his pecuniary affairs. Miss Basket Silk and Ribbon, and all the latest Novelties In 5 H w O trolable habit with him that be could notrelVain Birch was not long in deciding upon her course. « O W The reward for such superhuman exertions at from pursuing this easy road to riches. He had She would not allow the happiness of a lifetime to Paris Millinery. >—i length came. Madam Chickahominy Chubb was slip from her if she could prevent it. She wrote to * o © 2 raked up a score of bogus claims against the the poet a frank and womanly letter, acknowledg- The ladies are respectfully Invited to attend. fi a pronounced in the Figarroter the most popular Government, and had Supplied the missing links ing her deep interest and profound respect, and a "O offering him the bulk of her fortune, if he were e S¡» a and most lovely of her sex, and one of the ac- in the testimony to establish them with his per- willing to accept it Of conrse Lamartine conld not MRS. M. J. HUNT. tf .o m• H knowledged leaders of society. Her breast sonal affidavits. Almost a half million dollars of suspect the truth. Deeply touched by her generos- mar26 tfl 621 and «23 D street N. W. so heaved with pride and the asthma. But with all ity, he called upon her, and found her to be not only ' 3 these claims had been paid before it was ascer- fair to look upon, bnt a woman of brilliant literary CD M greatness comes its penalties. To be conspicuous and artistic education. He made an offer of his »^DILLON, * td tained that they were wholly fraudulent. The hand and heart, and was promptly and gladly B jns Hi Si r+ s to be the target of tongues. Inquiries were honorable law-maker suddenly discovered, with- accepted, and in after years Alphonse De Lamartine 0 OC instituted, and discussion arose concerning the owed not more to his wife's wealth than to her PHOTOGRAPHER, CD out the aid of a physician, that the climate of I sustaining love and inspiring enthusiasm. 1227 Pennsylvania avenue. b sept- « THE CAPITAL.--APRIL 2, 1876. 3

for a season, controlled the public laugh, and SEWING MACHINES. „ WTTV WE LAUGH "* I observed, from Shakspeare to Corwin, that the , • power which creates smiles can call up then were heard no more. How few of popu- That we have a humor, a humor or our own, i lar favorites live on. Among these last is our REMINGTON SEWING MACHINE, ARMS, &C. so peculiarly American that it cannot b? mis- tears. Mr. Cox, without getting our definition, friend the author, but he will not find, we fear, illustrating it in his own happy THE REMINGTON SEWINO MACHINE has sprung rapidly taken, is a fact that Holmes, Twain, Bret Harte j came near his immortality in " Why We Laugh." Into favor as possessing the very best Combination of good and almost a hundred others certify beyond dis- way. On page 14 he says: ualities, namely : Light running, smooth, noiseless, rapid, urable, With the perfect Lock Stitcli. pute. Whether such humor compares favorably Others confound humor with wit. They define D humor as the point in which pain and pleasure meet OLD SUPERSTITIONS. with that of other lands is.further along. But {From the Chicago Saturday Evening Herald.] It ls a Shuttle Machine, with Automatic Brop Feed, De- whether we have such claim to national char- to produce a third element, which partakes of both— There is a curious superstition about the spilling sign beautiful and construction the very best. acteristic there is another fact quite as well reo- a sort of voluptuous torture, like being pinched by a of salt. It is supposed to have come from the east, pretty girl. Hence some humor makes us cry, and where, to have partaken of an Arab's " bread and THE REMINGTON SEWING MACHINE has received pre- ognized, and that is that our people have more some makes us. laugh. Less prettiness and more salt," is regarded as assuring the person who par- miums at many Fairs throughout the United. States, and love of than respect for it, as the public career- takes thereof not alone of hospitality, but of per- without effort took the grand Medal of Progress—the high- pinching bring tears; more prettiness and less pinch- sonal safety. est orderof Medal that was awarded at the late Vienna Ex- ing, smiles. It is the identity of contraries—candied of this author illustrates. The Hon. S. S. Cox is In Byron's " Corsair," one of his earliest and best position. no ordinary man. ' Possessed of a clear, healthy ill temper, pickled good nature. They hold that poems, Conrad, a pirate and hero of the tale, is brain, he has developed its power by harder contrast alone is the element of humor. This does made to head an attack in the Bay of Coron, upon The REMINGTON WORKS also manufacture a new not square with our theory. Humor has no sting. Turkish pasha named Seyd. He visits that per-, Double-Barreled Breech.Loadlng Shot-Gun and the Cele- sonage and is disguised in the garb of a Dervise, brated Remington Rifles, renowned throughout the world study and a larger store of information than It is not poisonous, like the Stygian waters, which for Military, Hunting and Target purposes; all kinds of fresh from the pirate's den,.and pretends to be very Pistols; Rifle Canes, Metallic Cartridges, &c. any man in public life. His speeches are known no other vessel but a mule's hoof could hold. The communicative, his design all the time being to act for their humor—they are really valuable for the humorous man is, from his very sensibility, likely to spy on the pasha's own position, force and vul- be gentle and pathetic, but not malignant. He can nerable parts. AGRICULTURAL IMPLEMENTS.—Improved Mowing facts presented, and the singularly clear and The pretended Bervise, who claims that he has es- Machines, Steel Plows, Steel Hoes, Cultivators, Road Scra- happy manner in which those facts are stated. rain tears as well as bring smiles. The tear, too, caped from an enforced detention on the pirate's pers, Patent Excavators, Hay Tedders, Cotton Gins, Irop may have its prism of humor. But pathos has a island, is offered food, which he refuses, and the f&BUHl* Bridges, &c. All this last is lost, however, in the wit that law and an orbit of its own, though it may often pasha asks: sparkles along each rage. He is regarded by meet in conjunction with humor." ' Why dost thou shun the salt? that sacred pledge «-GOOD AGENTS WANTED. Send for Circulars. Which, once partaken, biunt's the sabre's edge, the pensive public as a little joker and slighted Wit may be defined as the juxtaposition of Makes even contending tribes in peace unite, PRINCIPAL OFFICES —E. Remington & Sons; Remington Sewing Machine Co.; accerdingly. And hated hosts seem brethren to the sight." ideas so dissimilar that they become grotesque in In the north of Scotland, among the Highlanders— Remington Agricultural Co., Ilion, N. Y This is also a national trait. It cannot be their association. From the pun with its double a rough-and-ready race—who are very hospitable, as found in any other land than our own. In other far as their limited means permit, it is held nnlucky BRANCH OFFICES T—281 and 283 Broadway N. Y., Arms. Philadelphia, Pa., 810 Chestnut street, Sewing Machines. meaning, the poorest sort of wit generally, to help any one at table to salt. The hand will be Madison Square, New York, Sewing Machines. Baltimore, Md., 47 N. Charles street. Sewing Machines. civilized communities wit and humor are ele- from the continual repetition of a sentence, pushed back, for the Highland thought, rudely ex- Chicago, 237 State street, Sewing Machines and Arms. Indianapolis, Ind.,73 E. Market St., Sewing Machines. pressed in a rough rhyme, is: Boston, 562 Washington street, Sewing Machines. St. Louis, Mo., 609 N. Fourth street, Sewing Machines. ments of strength, and the student feels thankful such as "by a decided majority," or "there's Cincinnati, 182 West Fourth street, Sewing Machines. Detroit, Mich., 191 Woodward ave.. Sewing Machines. for the genius that makes pleasantry of that which '* Help me to Halt, Utica, 129 Genesee street. Sewing Machines. London, E. C. England, S4 Queen Victoria St., Arms millions in it," the cheapest kind of fun, up to Help me to sorrow." Atlanta, Ga., DeGlve's Op. House, Marietta st., S. M. and Sewing Machines. otherwise would fee dry, hard stiidy. , The common belief is that it.is unlucky to spill the Moliere's Mock Doctor, or Shakspeare's Dog- salt, but that the lnck can be changed by taking np " This world of ours," said the late Thomas berry or Falstaff, we find our opinion holding a pinch of the spilled salt and throwing it over WASHINGTON OFFICE, 521 Seventh st., Corwin to us one day, " looks up to the ring- good. When the Hon. Bardwell Slote, while he the left shoulder. To spill salt on a Friday is con- sidered as especially unlucky. In the poems of John jT4-5 SEWING MACHINES. master and down on the clown. It has a sov rolls a quid between his congressional teeth, is (jay, a poet not much read at present, there is this ereign contempt for the man that amusesmus. Ift I asked by the sentimental youth if he, Hon. B. S couplet' MEDICAL. you would be successful, therefore, you " The salt is spilt; to you It fell, were ever in love, and the M. C. responds, "Yes, I hope our Cornish friends are well." be as solemn as an ass. All the monuments of "V-A.1N S YOKEL'S by a decided majority," the parrot-like repeti- In general, salt-spoons are not in ordinary use in «j this world are built to solemn asses. tion of the phrase has found its grotesque asso- Italy, except in the hotels in large cities, and among DYBFKPHIA.. This man of rare genius, an actor who impro- wealthy or noble persons—consequently, in helping ciation, and we are amused, as when Moliere one's self, the salt is often dropped, but this is This new discovery ls made vised his comedy or tragedy, and had the power sham philosopher gravely requests the country thought nothing of there. To spill a drop of oil, however, ls regarded as an omen of the worst im- from herbs eulled from the to draw smiles or tears from his audiences, spoke fellow to come around and address his left ear, port. On the other band, to spill wine provokes sadly, for his own life was an Illustration of his merriment there—the joke being that it had been fields of California. as he keeps his right for the dead languages, or caused by the unsteadiness of the hand and head utterances. He had lived to see men vastly hiB when Dogberry boasts of his losses and begs to arising from having taken a cup too much. One bottle will satisfy the inferior—men who owed their success in life to be written down an ass. In the same way Colo- Apropos of superstitions of the table, let me most skeptical of Its great mention (in reply to some requests) all that I hav the length of their legs and the solemnity of nel Mulberry Sellers, who is continually assuring been able to collect concerning the common idea that curative powers. their countenances—promoted in popular estima- everybody that " there's millions in it," feels in It is- unlucky for thirteen persons to sit down together at a meal, because one of the thirteen would cer- SOLD AT tion above him. He, the real statesman, who vain through his pantaloons for a dime to pay a tainly die within the next twelve hours. led the multitude along patriotic ways by bright porter. One cannot open a volume of humor The belief that" thirteen is an nnlucky number' VAN SYCKEL'S : has been traced back to a variety of causes. Lord thoughts and generous impulses, found himself, without finding illustration, as when Hood Lvttieton. who has made considerable research into Pharmacy, these matters, refers the ill-luck of "thirteen at at the close of his strange career, remembered peddler of ear-trumpets, vaunting his wares Corner 18th and G sts. N. W., only as a jester. table " to the Last Supper of our Lord, at which cries: that number sat down. Sometimes it ls confined to And by all flrst-class Druggists. TVe are not certain that the disease is not sitting down together on Friday; but there is no Janl6-tf2 There's Mrs. If., so very deaf, warrant for this, as the Last Supper was on the deeper than a popular prejudice against humor fifth, not the sixth day of the week. Looking at the leaders—and one can best judge She could wear a percussion cap The Germans derive the superstition from the MISCELLANEOUS. And be hit on the head without hearing it snap. Norse, or northern, mythology. Of the gods who MISCELLANEOUS. of a party or a people by a study of the men sat down to feast with Loki, In the Walballa, Baldur such masses throw to the surface—regarding She bought a trumpet, and the very next day had to die—because he was the thirteenth. She heard from her husband in Botany Bay." In Uantzig, the principal seaport, and one of the such representative men then, we are not sure oldest cities .in Prussia, there is a curious clock, How rich that is, from the illustration of deaf- CEI PRESERVE YOUR HEALTH! that there is not as strong a prejudice against in- which at twelve admits through the door little effi- To do this It Is necessary that you should Inhale fresh ness to the grotesque consequences found in the gies of Christ and the eleven, shutting out Judas, and pure alrln therooms you daily and nightly occupy. tellectual supremacy of any sort. One does not the betrayer, -who is the thirteenth. He, however, 1776. EXTRAORDINARY. 1876. This can only be done successfully and without dan- have to. sit in the reporters' galleries of Congress letter from Botiny Bay. is admitted at one o'clock. ger of contracting Coughs, Colds and their probably Mr. Cox says very truly that our peculiar The Romans regarded thirteen as an unlucky attendant evils, by purchasing and using the over two years before one is impressed with the | originates in our extravagance. It num-ber. That the modern Italians and the Rus- SOUVENIRS OF THE COLONIES, }lumor slahs have the same prejudices (which are general BIRTH MARKS OF THE REPUBLIC, AND NEW PATEN T belief that the masses, in selecting their leaders, cheap and getting to be monotonous. But our even among the middle classes In the British Islands) MEMENTOES of the CRADLE-DAYS OF LIBERTY. Is evidenced by a couple of entries in the diary of Being fac-slmlle reproductions, in actual metal, were troubled like St. Paul, and that much | famous wit of the House goes far to prove by Thomas Moore, the poet. He jotted down notes of Transparent Ventilators, •learning made them mad. his book that he is a poor judge of wit. This is the conversation at a dinner party given by the from perfect specimens of the OLD PINE TRBJE Which, besides being actually ornamental to the win- Marquis of Lansdownp at Bowood, his seat in Wilt SHILLING and the copper coins of the different col- dows, are entirely different from all others in theiF Mr. Cox is a wit. He has had some twenty a common fact. As the best rider is apt to be manner of operating to peimlt their.lngress and egret® shire, in October, 1818. There were several of the che first cent coined by the U. S., Washington cent, of air to and from the room. five years of service in a public capacity, and the most ignorant of a Worse's anatomy, or a sue nobility present, male and female, and Moore, who "he first half cent coined by the V. S.. 1793. By the employment of the " Patent Transparent Ven- "loved a lord," as Byron emphatically Informed " g silver half dollar coined by the U. S., 1795. tilators " a current of air is created iicar toe window, people regard him as a man of a humorous turn— 1 cessfol publisher is sure to be the poorest critic, Leigh Hunt, evidently was In the seventh heaven of « " " dollar " " " 1795. which imparts m otlon to the volume of air in the room which he is not—who throws in a laugh not to enjoyment. *The unlucky number of thirteen at ta- " " Gold half Eagle " " " 1795. and cleanses It from existing Impurities, by constantly or a "good critic a poor author, so a witty man ble was talked about, and Moore told an anecdote of » " 1 Eagle • " " " 1795. carrying off the foul air and supplying pure air in its . be resisted. When he rises to speak he ha3 of will probably fail in getting up a jest book. TheMadam e Catalan), who, perceiving thirteen persons Also, a reproduction in very high relief of the cele- place, which operation ls so uniform, and may be regu- at dinner, in her own house, sent a French countess bratedECCLESINE WASHINGTON MEDALION. lated wltn such precision as to always Issue a healthful right the eye of the Speaker, and immediately illustrations of American humor in these pages STRUCK IN SILVER in England, In 1790, a beautiful atmosphere In thè room. This current of air may be (who lived with her as a companion) up stairs to work of art, the most noted profile of the period of the shut off at any time, if desired. members drop their newspapers, cease writing are the saddest reading. There is no wit in the remedy the ill; but soon after, another person com- ••Father of our Country." These Ventilators may be applied to windows of all ing in, the poor countess was brought down again. The originals in the archives of the U. S. Ml nt, Phila- descriptions, and are stationary. They are valuable letters, conversing or smoking, and gather about mean, money-getting nature of the Yankee, very Lord Lansdowne capped this story by saying he delphia. Handsomely mounted on Bristol, singly, for use in school-rooms, public halls, hospitals, invalid him. The galleries lean forward, while the re- little in the wild extravagance of the West, not had once dined abroad, with Count Orloff, the Rus- carte de visite size, ready for framing. chambers, sleeping apartments and rooms in general. sian statesman, and perceived he did not sit down Any of the copper coins, 25 cents each. These Ventilators are on exhibition at porters, seizing their pens, piepare for work. an abundance in our best-recognized jesters; for " " silver " 20 " " at dinner, but kept walking from chair to chair. It " " gold " , 35 " " 1303 F Street, near corner 13th northwest, In a few minutes the laughter ripples over the Artemus Ward owes more to his cheap, bad came ouf afterward that there were twelve at table, Or the complete set, mounted on gilt embossed Bris- Washington, D. C., and that some of these, he knew, would Instantly tol. 7x9, ready for framing : And may also be seen In operation at the Billiard floor, ascends to the galleries and soon breaks spe2ijng an(i English recognition, while Mrs. rise if they perceived the number thirteen, which The 9 pieces, all In copper, $1.50 per set, Rooms of Miller & Jones, over National Thfater. Call into roars. The telegraph takes up the fun, and p tington, eulogized by our author, is a forlorn, Count Orioif would have made by sitting down him- "9 " . " copper, silver and gold, $2 per set. and examine them. GEO. WAGNER, ar self. TheEccleslne Medallón, In sliver, 8} Inches dlame- mar5-tf2 Inventor and Patentee,Washington, D. C. soon it spreads, through the press, over the giop.fe(j imitation of Mrs. Malaprop. But Mr. Philosophically considered, there is something in te this prejudice against thirteen at the table. The pormíng the most beautiful and appropriate memen- land. And yet with all his learning, clear- Cox h-g book as with lead when he reaches toes of our Centennial conceivable. IIOFF & THOMAS, rate of mortality varies, of course, with the ages of They will be sent, framed In any desired style, lrom headed power and Democratic consistency, when wbat he ls pjeased to call parliamentary humor as Individuals. Ot thirteen persons of different ages, 15 cents each up for the singles, fr®m 75 cents up tor the anywhere assembled, there must always be a prob- sets and Medallón, which extra amounts must accom- the time came for the selection of Speaker by his jnustrated in our Congress. The average con- ability that one at least will die within one year. pany order. 920 PENNSYLVANIA A VEN li: N. W„ own party, he had such a slender support that he gresgman js from necessity as free of a sense of This is also true of twelve, but the probability is By -mall free on receipt of price. Usual discounts to diminished, and so on of every number. If one were the trade. AGENTS WANTED ' Sole Agents for the famous told us he regarded his defeat as Don Ccesar de | humor ag a cow. xf he had any he would not be to write down the names of thirteen of our friends at Bazan did hanging, as objectionable, for that it a congressman. He could not be. The corner random it is probable that one of them would die. throughout the United States and the world. These By avoiding thirteen at dinner, or anywhere else, btaiitii'ul goods sell themselves at sight. Complete out- Stag's Head Elevated Oven Heating not only killed a man, but made him ridiculous. grocery and the caucus select the solemn asses we do not avoid the claim *f King Beath, according fit of samples, with full information, will be sent to agents on receipt of $5.00. P. O. money order. Range and Sanford's Centennial We seized upon Mr. Cox's book eagerly, for as Corwin said the world does. After long, to his known rules and regulations. Address, , J- SQUIRE, Another popular belief, originating in the old, but marl2-6mol S3 Park Row, New York City. Furnace. we have a turn for humor, and expected to find dreary intervals we have a casualty, as jpi the case brought over by immigrants to the new world, is connected with horse-shoes. It is considered very We now offer to our many friends and the public gen- between the covers a rich treat. In this we of Corwin, Cox, Cartter, Proctor Knott and COLUMBIAN erally one of our were disappointed. The book is interestin lucky to find a horse-shoe on the highway, and, when Walter Phelps. We searched in vain for the found, the usual procedure following Is to nail It STAG'S HEAD DOUBLE-OVEN RANGES, and instructive—it would be difficult for our over the door of the dwelling. In that case the last named in these pages. And yet this young witches And the fairies are prevented from getting » With Seven Boiler Holes, Warming Closet opening author to produce one otherwise. But it is dis- man, new to the House, new to its complicated in, it Is popularly believed. across the entire Range, Shaking and Dumping Grate, If a second shoe be found, that one is nailed over Mica front, set up in press-brick front, for $85. One or appointing. The philosophy, that is not good, rules, uninfluenced by the deadly weight of a 908 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE, our LATROBES, to heat two rooms. «35. g - . __ „ spoils the jokes, that are not new. Mr. Cox or upon the cow house door, It being alleged, and Sanford's well-known CHALLENGE FURNACE at delegated stupidity called Congress, with as keen credited in some localities, that this prevents the New York prices. sep5-ly3 makes the title in the question, "Why do we entrance of " the wild horse." What that creature WASHINGTON, D. O. a wit as ever sparkled from the brain of genius, may be I was never able to ascertain. John Gray, •laugh?" and we drive through the book ex- went at once to the front amid roars of laughter— the poet, alludes to this nailing In the line— THE. HEW FAMILY pecting an answer in every page, and the answer and laughed himself out of Congress. " The horse-shoe's nailed, each threshold's guard!" We are prepared, with every facility, for never comes. In Germany, even in the cities, horse-shoes are Of the congressional humor, so called, we se- nailed on the thresholds of houses to protect them BALTIMORE KITCHENER And after all there is no answer. Man is a lect at random. Opening on page 242, we read and their Inhabitants from witchcraft. In that ENGRAVING AND PRINTING laughing animal, distinguished from the" rest of country, too, It is quaintly said, when a lass has Uses less coal than a No. 7 cook'stove, and has sadly : misconducted herself, that " she has lost a shoe "— WORK ample conveniences for a large family and furnishes an creation in that fact, and welaugh from the same " One member, to get a hearing, pleads that he la horse-shoe being meant. BANK NOTES, BONDS AND COMMERCIAL abundance of hot water. Water heats in a few min- reason that we breathe. Old Probabilities can Those who have enjoyed the late Samuel Lover's utes after fire is started. It has a largeoven andwarm- has stood on. this bill until his legs are two inches amusing and very Irish songs, may remember that OF EVERY KIND, AC. lng oven; small fire box and convenient grate; has better respond than our congressional humorist; shorter than they were a week ago. Rory O'More, when he insists on taking an extra WM. H. PHILIP, President. Hutchinson's Patent Water Back, which, by peculiar 2nd Ingenious construction, supports the top plates " The 'force' of the gentleman's speech, said some kiss, additional to those which the unconscionable GEO. T. JONES, Vice President. for the laughter of the day may be found in his rascal had already inflicted on or obtained from and prevents sagging, so annoying In all other cooking one on the impeachment trial, is reckoned at thirty- JOHN W. WATERS, Secretary. fixtures. ... « prognostication of the morning. If he promises Kathleen Bawn, his sweetheart, answers her gentle We give special attention to house plumbing, and a clear, bracing atmosphere, with its proper pro- three thousand words. remonstrance, "Sure it's eight times today you J. M VAN BUSKIRK, Treasurer. employ competent mechanics in this as well as the " ' It is alleged,' said a Californlan, ' that we have have kissed me before," with taking the ninth," For other branches of our business. portion of electricity, the laughing animal, if in I there's luck in odd numbers, said Rory O'More." traded away fifteen million dollars for Alaska, and good health, feels his lungs expand, his blood The Romans held an even number to be unlucky, have only one million's worth of real estate. Any because, since it could be divided equally,it was the WILLIAM F. LUTZ, HAYWARD & HUTCHINSON, stimulated and his nervous system turned to man who can't trade within fourteen hundred per emblem of death and dissolution. 317 Ninth Street H. W. cent, of the value of an article ought to be expelled. The care with which the Romans avoided even laughter. And so he laughs with or without numbers was curious. The year of Numa Pompil- 1223 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE, je27-lyl Such a Congress, sir, no longer deserves the confi- the so-called cause. Ireland, so much quoted lus, which was retained until Julius Cresar remod- WASHINGTON, D. C., dence of a free people.' eled the calendar, was made to consist of 355 days, New York Elastic and Metallic by Mr. Cox, oweB its wit, like the French, to though the moon, in twelve lunations, appears to its brain. In both people it is a national trait ; " There was an Indian debate. It was asserted in complete but 354, and the month of February, of 28 Roof-painting Company. but Irish laughter comes from whence originates 1867 that it cost over six millions for a regiment in days, was divided into 23, with five supernumerary EHGRAVEB OS WOOD AMETAL the Indian country. One Indian was killed, and, ones. Thus the even numbers were avoided. This Company's P»lnt ls superior to any other fo Manufacturer of preserving roofs and preventing dampness In walls. the most perfect physiques known to humanity. said Senator Windom, by way of lively comment, Christians early acknowledged the Trinity. The seventh day was ordered to be kept holy. The criti- DATING AND BANK STAMPS. No extra charge for stopping leakage in roofs. The Irishman is moist and jolly because his cli- ' Six millions for one Indian, and it is still doubtful cal years of a man's life are expressed by a multiple mate is moist and jolly. The witty Frenchman whether he is dead or alive!' of seven. A child's first teeth fall out when he is VULCANIZED INDIA RUBBER STAMPS, W. B. OOX & CO., about seven; at fourteen (two sevens) he is a youth ; »MOI 91«! STREET N.W. does not laugh, for his climate is not favorable " The taking of the census of 1S50 was before the a man at twenty-one; and the sixty-thlrdyearlshis SEALS AND SEAL PRESSES. to laughter. There is not much laughter in the Senate. A Southern Senator wanted to know how grand climacteric. mines of Pennsylvania or Cornwall. We are a many bass-wood hams, horn flints and wooden nut- If possible, ill an English farm-yard, a good house- Special Attention given to Theatrical Cuts. PE0EESSI0NAL 0AEDS. megs had been made, for was not the South inter- wife sets each hen on an odd number of eggs, believ- sad people, because we have dyspepsia and the ing that she will otherwise have no chickens. Steel letters and figures to stamp on steel, iron and Protestant religion. Our climate is- not favora- ested as a consumer? Thirteen is exceptionally nnlucky, as has been- wood. Stencils and Burning Brands. Bar and Hotel RICHARD P. EVANS. " Mr. Campbell of Ohio was showing the percent- shown. In Italy It Is wholly out of favor, because Checks, amd all kinds of materials for marking clothing. ble to humor or gayety. Our immédiate prede- the thirteenth card of-one of the packs (vulgarly Visiting, Invitation and Wedding Cards Furnished. ATTORNEY-AT-LAW, age of population as to reading and writing, and culled decks) of cards used in playing a game called sep5-lv5 cessors, the Indians, were à solemn race ; and found Buncombe county, North Carolina, the lowest, Tarocelii, bears the figure of Beatb. OFFICE, 934 F STREET NORTHWEST, we suspect the mound-buildera were digging when Mr. Ashe asked for the comparative statistics As lor lncky and unlucky. In this world, I fancy NEW HAIR GOODS AP FRENCH NOVELTIES, of crime. This posed the Ohioan; for a moment he that there is little in it. People make their own WASHINGTON, D. C. graves and died in that somber pursuit. We good or evil by their own deeds. keep up the little gayety we possess through a admitted that Northern penitentiaries showed most There may be,-and there may have been, excep- P. O. Box 104. convicts; and by a quick turn said, " Oh! we punish tions, such as the winning a fortune In the lottery, Special attention given to the collection of .Notes and fresh supply of new blood through emigration. ornaments for the hair. French f^TO* flue Accounts. Proceeds promptly remitted. dec5-i our jrascalB." or obtaining an unexpected legacy lrom a stranger, mery, Combs and Brushes. Human hair of the finest but an exception proves the general rule. ouality, in all colors, shades and length of Gray and J «» BH" SF J*«- -Ä- IM K5 J», In attempting to answer his uncalled-for ques- " Mr. Venable, in a glow tof statistical inflamma- One of Miss Edgeworth's stories, entitled " Murad White, at attractive prices. Madame Dubois gives spe- tion of why we laugh, Mr. Cox opens up the tion, exclaimed, 'You vote against giving bounty the Unlucky," illustrates what I mean. Two men cial attention to dressing ladles' hair. lands to sailors, while you are voting them to rail- start in life, with equal advantages of education and decS-6mos5 . 1211 Pennsylvania avenue. ARCHITECT, old discussion of the difference between wit and position. At the end one oft hem becomes Immensely roads, and have given forty-two millions of swamp humor, without adding anything to the contro- rich, (as the saying is, " everything he touches turns decs- lands, which would include the top of Mount Ararat, to gold,") and finally, regarded as the benefactor of FOR SALE, RENT OR EXCHANGE. Has removed to 1505 PENN'A AVENUE. versy. Now we opine that it may be said with for the flood passed over that once!' He was called his naiive city, is placed over It by the sovereign as its rnier. In the execution of his duty he eomes FURNISHED AND UNFURNISHED HOUSES. truth that wit is a mental organ, while humor is to an account, and at once withdrew' Ararat' from across Murad, who has always been unfortunate, BIRNEY & BIRNEY, one of its manifestations, depending on temper- the discussion. and relieves him. Each relates his adventures, and Good Farming. Timber and Mineral Lands In Mary- land Vlrgl ila, Kentucky, Missouri and Iowa. Also, "'How many light-houses are therein that dis- it turns Out that the lucky man had got on by indus- Atto rneys-at-Law, ament for its quality. Wit has in it the element try, sagacity and Integrity, while his unlucky friend unlmnroved property ln-good locations in this city, and trict ?' it was asked. ' Five.' ' I saw more,' said a Sntermsand'prices that wlllglve satisfaction. Apply to 330 Fonr.and-»-t«alf st., Washington, of laughter more or less developed. It may be had failed through the absence of these essential lyil-iya • so slightly defined as not to get from the amused member. ' They are double-reflectors,' was thequalification s for success. GEORGE A. ARJIES, witty rejoinder. 'Perhaps you saw double,' said „.wii-ivi 715 Fifteenth street. brain into the face, calling up a smile. It may another. W. E. CLEVER, even be painful, and yet wit. It applies the A SMILE AKD A SIOH.— VETERINARY SURGEON. " How well Mr. Toombs put the proposition for [By Christian Rossetti.] No. 617 Louisiana Avenue.bet. Sixth and 7th sts A smile because the nights are short! Patent Carpet Renovating Co. grotesque to the foibles, follies and sins of hu- increase of wages! " Let him do the work and give Strict attention paid to the examination of horses manity, and finds its more frequent expression And every morning brings such pleasure Cleans and Renovates Carpets of all Dust, Dirt, Greas for purchase. D0T'1'* him six hundred dollars. Make him do no work, Of sweet love-making, harmless sport; and other impurities. Restores them to their in satire. The same mental capacity in a kind only superintend, and he gets a thousand dollars.'" Love that makes and finds its treasure original beauty and brightness without temperament deepens into humor, and being Love, treasure-without measure. removing from the floor. J. L. SMITHMEYER & CO., Wit, like works of art, must pass through the A sigh because the days are loog! OFF CC ! 209 W. BALTIMORE STREET, BALTIMORE, closely allied to pathos, is humane. We have crucible of the cultured critic before it .finds Long, long these days that pass in sighin; and ARCHITECTS, A burden saddens every song. 1413 Pennsylvania avenue, Washington, D. C. So. 703 Fifteenth St, bet. G and N. Y.^Aye. immortality in the popular mind. The book While time lags that should be flying, * " Why we Laughby S. S. Cox. M. C. Published by nov21 J- E- GREEN, Gen'l Superintendent. Harper Bros. Sold by Richard 13. Moliun, Washington. before us is a graveyard of departed jesters, who, We live who would be dying. 4 THE CAPITAL.—APJUIL 2, 1876.

while the political law-making would have have never voted a cent to rid us of the nuisance, lamented man. But here is the Count's note: CAPITAL PERSONALITY. THE CAPITAL. shamed a barbarous people. while giving millions to unworthy improve- LETTER FROM THE COUNT JOABTNES—" ST. LOUIS Having given the negroes, the late slaves, ments elsewhere, for that we have no political AND THE WORLD.'' —General Ben. Lefevre is in town, we balieve. To the Editor of THE CAPITAL. WASHINGTON CITY. the right of ballot, the Government did all influence to force an appropriation, it would DEAR SIR :—I. Tempest and.sunshineare natural; —General Wells of Mississippi, the gentleman to that could be done in that direction. Whether pain us, of course, to lose any part or parcel of whom the impeachment of Adelbert Ames is due so valuable a body as our Congress, but really but not at the same moment. Yet that literary mira- such ignorant masses could use this political cle appeared in your CAPITAL on the 19th instant. in greater part, characterizes that being in this SUNDAY MORNING, - - - APRIL 2,1876. privilege so as to become the governing ele- should, say, fifty of them succumb to the Kid- If a demon had written one article and an angel the terse and clever manner: " He is not a Republican ; ment even in States where they had a majority well Bottoms, we should, with a resignation other, there could not be a greater difference be- he is an individual and a thief." depended on themselves. If they lacked the beautiful to behold, say the "Lord's will be tween the two writings concerning me in your jour- —Major Beverly B. Douglas, the member front Average Circulation, 10,100 Copies. nal, (19th instant,) one copied from the World of sense to exercise the power, there is no legis- done." King William, Va„ and one of the brainiest gentle- this city, 16th instant, and the other from the St. men in Congress, is closing up the points in the lation that can be devised to remedy the de- Louis Republican, 12th instant. Freedman's Bureau investigation, of which com- TSE CAPITAL OUR GOVERNAENT is engaged in this centennial Can always be found on sale at the news stands ficiency. The radical law-makers found the II. Your high sense of justice caused you to copy mittee he is chairman, and expects to get through in the following cities: business in a very uncertain and promiscuous both articles; or, at least, that the libelous World's quite shortly. Major Douglas is one of the few con- AMERICAS NEWS COMPANY, New Tort. prophetic words of old John Adams becom- U manner. Lamar's eloquent and argumentative poisoh should have its antidote from the sanitary gressmen who forget themselves sufficiently to think NEW YORK NEWS COMPANY, ing history in spite of their ugly and venom- GRAND CENTRAL HOTEL, " speech drove through the appropriation of a mil- " St. Louis " of beloved memory! I heartily thank of other workers, and in the appropriation fight, ous laws. Said the eminent Federalist, when lion and a half. Since then action has been as yon, as a citizen and brother editor, for your justice endeavored to equalize the pay of congressmen pro- NEW YORK HOTEL, " predicting evil to <)ur_- self-government, and general deportment. portionately, as that of other officers about the Cap • ST. NICHOLAS HOTEL, " uncertain as that of the farmer who, according CONTINENTAL HOTEL, Philadelphia. " Wealthy families, fallen into decay, will to the old ballad, "yoked up his hogs to plow." III. The editor of the NTe'w York Sun volunteered itol was diminished. It is unnecessary to record- PARKER HOUSE, Boston. woo your ignorant voters with an ingenuity his defense of me, that being the first knowledge I that his endeavor failed. J. B. HAWLEY, Cincinnati, Ohio. Now, while we are doing our level best, as bad had of the mendacious and malicious attack. I sub- WILL GRAY. St. Louis. Missouri. —Mrs. Frances M. Carter will give dramatic reci- and success to which no vulgar demagogue little boys say, in urging foreign governments join for your courtesy of publication, with tb is letter, PALMER HOUSE, Chicago. tations at Lehman's hall, Baltimore, the evening of C. H. QUIMBY, Wheeling, West Virginia. can aspire." We quote from memory, and to take part in this centennial show, the space my answer to the World. Your numerous readers C. P. JOHNSTON, Richmond, Virginia. April 4. The indorsements of this accomplished will, I doubt not, find it interesting and instructive. J. T. BLLYSON, " may not have the words, but we "give the given to our own promises to be a barren waste. lady by the press and literati of the country, should, C. C. HALEY, New Orleans,Louisiana. rv. In conclusion, I hope that you will be spared W. SCOTT GLORB, Louisville, Kentucky. meaning that has found significance at the No steps have yet been taken, we believe, to insure for her a full house on her first appearance, J. A. ROY.S, Detroit, Michigan. South. The vulgar demagogue proves the have the happy results of our light-house system from a lingering death, as indicated by yonr classic and doubtless her versatile genius, heightened at one O. C. RIGHTER, Charleston, South Carolina. name; for it is evident that you die on daily, (Dion.) moment by pathetic touches that invoke the sympa- WHITE & BAUER, San Francisco, California. superior of wealthy families fallen into decay on exhibitiou, although probably in this direc- Hear! Hear! May you, my talented friend, Uve on •T. T. Cox, Alexandria, Virginia. tion we have as much to be proud of as in any thetic tear, and at the next affording a cheery con-f- M. A. CROWN'S, No. 78 W. Payette Street, Baltimore, at the North, where no color-line distinguishes in health and happiness, and with ,a CAPITAL au- trast in renditions truly humorous, will serve to AnAlsod a,t alalt the hotels and news stands In Baltimore. the demarkation between races socially or other. The light-house board, although not as riferous as it is mental and brilliant. make her always hereafter a welcome acquaintance Reading Room New York Herald, 61 Avenue de l'Op- politically. efficiently organized as it might be, has accom- Yours truly, &c.', at the Monumental City. era, Paris. GEORGE, THE COUNT JOANNES, Reading Rooms Robert C. M.Bowles, 449 Strand,Lon- plished wonders on our thousands of miles of —The following extremely clever aphorisms have Of the New York Supreme Court, Historian, &c. -don. The cultured whites of the South have coast, where star-eyed science watches aver our been sent us by "R. W. H.:" New York city, March 29, 1S76, No. 26 Chambers made up the governing element of that re- commerce from every rocky ledge and sandy strip street. . Actions are the nets wherein our ideas are caught LOW SALARIES. gion for generations, and through long train- where danger lurks. Refinement is to mortals what perfume is to the- It is to be hoped that the Senate will rose. ing and habit it is not only submitted to, but It is not generally known that among the first SOME of our Republican friends who were so 111Truth is so often passed by in these days that (jceatly modify, if it does not reject, the bill any fail to recognize its features when met. actually sustained, by the poor whites and acts of our firstCongres s was the passage of a firm a year since in an attempt to murder a con- Wealth is only respectable when possessed bv re- lately passed by the House cutting dow-u negroes. To overcome this by any legisla- law making our light-houses free to the com- tumacious witness, are getting to be tender- spectable people. the pay of array officers. Mr. Parton hits the Duty is to the majority a dead language. tion, properly so called, is simply impossible. merce of all nations. That is, while in Europe footed now when called upon to walk the heated Pertness in a woman is what idiocy is in a man truth in his pointed way when he says the the commerce of foreign nations is taxed by Indeoision is the suicide of strength. And so these radical legislators have gone on shares themselves. It was well enough when Tact in a woman or man is the signboard of cul- trouble at Washington, is in too much silk and from bad to worse until the bayonet is alone each government having a coast and lights, the poor Irwin was being tortured for telling the ture. too little salary. Without claiming that we fathers proclaimed by law that from that out, truth, but now that Kilbourn is being punished Pride is the wisdom of the simple. relied upon. We have had States seized and Love—a bee that stings and place s hone1 y in the. should have the silk, we do claim that the held as in time of war, and while carpet-bag- and forever, the lights on our coasts should be for not telling the truth, there is consternation. wound. - Government can obtain able and honest ser- paid for by our own Government, and every Mr. Kasson has his doubts. Lord save us I Faith—the microscope of peaee. gers are seated in Congress without other : Hope—the childhood of despair. vice, as individuals do, by paying fairly for mariner, let. him come from where he may, since when did this gentleman—the interior of Happiness—nature's dream. constituency than their friends and supporters sailing within the friendly warning of these Joy—possession. such service. A poor preach' commands in Washington, while legislatures have been whose name embodies his nature, and whose Pleasure—to wish for pain. poor pay, and poor pay fetches us a poor beacons of danger, should enjoy their advantages character was rated by a jury of his countrymen Regret—the resurrection of truth. driven from their halls and governers inaugu- Vanity—a woman's foe. free of charge. at one cent—takeito conscientious scruples? And preach. We are reaching a point where an rated by the bayonet. Leisure—the hour of death. honest man, without means of his own, can- It was a noble act, and to this day we remain the Hon. Pig-iron and others, who dare not go —Mrs. General Gaines, by her counsel, Judge not hold office. This is not hèalthy ; it is not We have an exaggerated faith in " be it alone in such generosity. beyond the expression of a doubt because of George W. Paschal and Hon. Jeremiah Black, common sense. * enacted." There is no evil afflicting us, of Under the philosophical research and practical their fekrs and their own precedent. gained a very important decision on Monday last in a political, social or other sort, that we do wisdom of Professor Henry, improvements The torture of^a barbarous age, when men the Supreme Court of the United States. The point, If by common consent we could turn the decided was, that under what was called the local not seek at once to remedy by legislation. have been made, of which we have reason to be charged with crime were cruelly punished to Government over to the rich and well-born, prejudice act of March 2,1867, Mrs. Gaines having We have whole libraries of dead laws—laws proud, and for the exhibition of thé curious force a confession, survives in this epoch in the as the fathers intended, or, at least, expected, filed the necessary affidavit of her citizenship of not enforced, that cannot be enforced. The lamp contrived by the professor, by which right claimed by Congress to punish a contu- New York, the State judge should have proceeded it might be well enough. As we job the people are slow to learn that that is law only sperm oil was dispensed with, and a cheaper macious witness. The plea for such abuse of no further, regardless of the subject-matter of the business out as it is, it would be an improve- action, and whether she has gained a victory or not,, which custom makes such, and the statutory and better light got from lard, and all the ma- power is not based an any reason, and was con- ment to have a responsible class with which had the United States Supreme Court affirmed the enactment only defines what is already en- chinery perfected by the board, we ought to sidered so doubtful that Congress itself passed a to contract. But in attempting tlje larger have a reasonable appropriation. Not a great judgment of the supreme court of Louisiana, the forced. And herein our friends of the Re- law making it an offense to refuse answering a result would have been most disastrous to her. theory of self-government, where the masses deal is needed, but enough should be given to publican party have made tneir most signal proper question, and turned the witness over to After twenty-five years of litigation, she succeeded shall have the right to the employment of encourage these gentlemen in making the dis- the courts for trial. And in the teeth of their in 1855 in establishing her father's will of 1813, failures. To legislate the governing element honest integrity as well as brain, to leave out Play- own enactment it is proposed to set the courts which declared her to be his legitimate heir and uni- of the South from where long custom has the main ingredient, fair compensation, is to thus solemnly evoked at defiance. versal legatee. The "suit just determined was to an- established it is found to be impossible. The nul the judgment establishing the will, and the destroy it all. It is notorious, patent to the THE impression has been industriously circu- The law has a lively chance for its dignity in, ballot may be given the negro, but to endow supreme court of Louisiana did annul it, thus de- world, that our uncertain tenure of office, lated that the Hon.Kobert C. Schenck responded the hands of these gentlemen, whose lack of him with enough brain to make that ballot stroying her chief muniment of title. The present added to the low rate of compensation, has to a summons from the committee engaged in business qualified them for Congress. result reinstates the will, and.sends her back to the a power is far beyond the ability or province the investigation of the Emma Mine, and that driven the better and more capable class of circuit court of Louisiana, where the statute of of Congress. there was some reluctance on the part of the limitation must avail her. our citizens from political life. We have in IT PAINS US to write it—for we have rather a ex-minister to appear. This is not true; but —"Evil communications corrupt good morals," and its place as officials poor men who grow mys- The Supreme Court of the United States, the truth seems not to be in demand in this liking for the body—the lobby this session is in reviewing the past legislation of hate, and rather in a bad way. We may say, without " an ounce of preventive is worth tons of cure." teriously rich, and rich men who dishonestly persecution of Mr. Schenck. If it were the Solid old maxims these. They jnstify the change of add to their stores. What man capable of restoring to the States and-citizen the rights following note, that we copy from the files of exaggeration, that the lobby is in a very bad base of the person wearing the uniform of an officer winning his way in business is willing to wrung from them by force, strengthens itself] the committee, would have been published as way. Leaders in the lobby who were wont to in the army of the United States, familiarly yclept serve four years as a member of the House on in the love and admiration of all thoughtful soon as delivered: have their rooms ¡and little suppers and side- as Dog Merrill, Merrill the d. b„ and who can be four thousand five hundred a year? And as the minds. boards, are now living in attics, boarding at found on the army register as Lewis Merrill, major WORMLEY'S HOTEL, cheap boarding-houses, and living on hash. Seventh United States cavalry. As a specimen of member graduates from the House to the Sen- WASHINGTON, March 22, 1876. what the army could furnish in the way of gentle- Said one to us the other day, This damned ate the last-named body is as badly garnished MINOR NOTES. Honorable TnosiAS SWANN, Chairman of the Com- men probably, this officer was placed on duty by the with honest intelligence as the House. mittee on.Foreign Relations, House of Representa- miserable, pusillanimous House of Representa- late Secretary of War, W. W. Belknap, in connec- tives : tion with the centennial exhibition to be held at WASHINGTON, March 29.—Those terrible scourges, tives is not fit to live. Do you know that after Sm: I write lo announce my arrival in Washing- Philadelphia. A gentleman, at least, should have This inadequate compensation is a blight typhoid and typho-malarial fever, "throat rot" and I had taken a look at them from the gallery, and ton at midnight last night, and ray desire to appear been assigned to such duty when the credit of one on our republic. diphtheria, are now prevailing to an alarming ex- saw what a mean, God-forsaken lot they are, I before your committee to make a statement under arm of our national service, e ver jealous of its honor, ten in this city, and are daily increasing in inten- left Welcker's, took lodgings in a cheap hash- Of all classes of officials, the army is the oath, and to submit myself to examination in rela- will be at sljake. The question naturally arises.. sity and fatality. These destructive complaints are most unfortunate for this reduction. While tion to my connection with the Emma Silver Mining house, purchased a bottle of Jayne's Expecto- why this .officer, lost to personal honor and ostra- the natnrai results and consequences entailed upon Company of London, which I understand is, under rant, and black my own boots." cized by all to wham his history is known and by the we regard West Point as a failure, looked at us by the "comprehensive system of improvements" instruction of the House of Representatives, being officers of the army, for disgracing the uniform thsy from a military point, it certainly has gijen originated and prosecuted by Boss Shepherd and It is proposed now that the lobby should be now made a subject of investigation. I have had no wear by associating it with the lowest dregs of so- us the best civil service we have yet experi- his ring of thieves during their rascally reign. incorporated and given an interest in Billy intimation of any intention on the part of the com- ciety, should have been selected for duty In a place The sewers constructed by that plundering crew McGarrahan's Panoche quicksilver mine. As enced. In this age of official corruption it mittee to invite or require my presence before them; and at a time when the eyes of the world will be in are notoriously inadequate for even ordinary drain- Billy has lived the last twenty years in a mys- but when 1 saw published In the newspapers in Lon- daily contact with him. It is true that Major Mer- stands out fair, pure and capable. Of all the age, and during heavy rain storms their contents don, on the first Instant, a telegraphic summary of terious but comfortable manner on that claim, rill rendered important services throughout the millions of money passing through its hands back up and discharge into the cellars and base- the testimony of Mr. James A. Lyon, given the day it is thought that the lobby may flourish in that South in suppressing the Klu-Klux. The suppres- none has stained the fingers or soiled the ments of buildings on Pennsylvania avenue and previous, I determined immediately to avail myself sion of the Ki-Klux means the arrest by military two adjoining streets; in fact, dwellings on M street way also. character of the trustees. We all know that of a leave of absence obtained from the Secretary of force of innocent persons in States where civil law northwest, the most elevated portion of the city, are State to come with all dispatch and ask to be heard is in force, and by brute force to ride over the rights . whatever question might be mooted as to the subject to the same nuisance. policy of transferring the Indian bureau to in person. Taking but a single day for preparation, For THE CAPITAL. of an independent people. The main sewers a.Bd laterals are rapidly filling I was able to leave London on the third, and to sail THE LOSS OF GENTLEMAN GEORGE. the W ar Department, there is no question with excrementitious matter. This fearful accumu- from Liverpool on the fourth. My passage acrosb A Sad Event. lation of putrid, decomposing animal and vegetable Toll for the fost, but that it would be honestly administered.' the ocean lasted fifteen days, and was exceptionally A Queewof the Lobby. The same of the Pension Office. And yet substances is gradually approaching every building tempestuous and rough, and I have not yet recov- A gentle spirit fled. Mrs. General Benton, referred to by Ben. Buttler that is connected with the main sewers. Thedeadly ered from the prostrating effects of the voy- Yes, George, the-tempest toss'd. as a mysterous witness, and who will, in a few days the army is only a sort of honorable poverty, gases generated by this mass of corruption escape Is numbered 'mong the dead. be snug in Mexico, was, in her maiden days, Mildred age, from which I suffered all the more in White, of Mobile. General Benton was from Rich- and the poor officer, after a life of arduous directly into our houses and are inhaled at every consequence of not having been for some time How lately was he seen mond, Indiana. Mildred, when eighteen, is described labor, dies, leaving his family penniless. To breath. If we attempt to ventilate by open doors or past in my usual condition of good health, and With head and front aloft, as "a glorious brunette, with a dash of the oriental in her tastes and temperment, as well as appearance windows, we are met by an atmosphere charged leaving suddenly, as I did, I have not np to this A wearing of the "green," further reduce this, miserable compensation is 11 A trifle above the average height, her form was- unwise and ungenerous. There are reforms with infectious spores arising from the decay and time been able to examine papers and correspond' And taking money soft." rather large than the standard of beauty might ask rottenness of the wood pavements. ence to which I may have occasion to refer, wfcicl] But now, alas, he's gone but so periectly proportioned that a change would" in the army perfected by the House. There With these startling facts before us, our excessive seem a defect; sparkling black eyes, dark, luxuriant, were packed for me hurriedly among articles of To sequester'd, sad retreat. hair, regular features and a bright and winning are other reforms yet called for, but these do and increasing death rate is of easy solution, and clothing and other effects, in boxes and trunks that Where woodbine and Cyprus face. Here symmetry and beauty ended, for her we have stron In close embraces meet. not lie in the direction of starvation. g reasons to expect a terrible epidemic were sent forward by express to Washington on my temperament conformed to no rules or standard She during the coming summermonths that will destroy ariival at New York. Those I can get at so as to be MORAL. was fall of eccentricities, and.much of what might hundreds, if not thousands, of our citizens. prepared to come before the committee after a delay be called genius. For one' of her eccentricities Mil- 'Ms not that he who wants not exceeding a couple of days, say by Saturday, or dred was a rebel—at all times and under all circum- THE LATE DECISION. We clip the above from a late issue of the New To be our President, stances—she talked rebel, and acted rebel, and would - York Sun, as a specimen of the blind fury that any day after that which will suit the convenience Should not only never lie, not be kept down." The Supreme Court in its late decision of of the committee; and I respectfully request that But should ever be content The.fair Mildred and General Benton became ac- seizes on certain people when they refer to the quainted at Baton Rouge, and after their marriage cases from Kentucky and Louisiana under the you will arrange to give me the opportunity. With what the law allows she was not so interesting until she lost her hus- enforcement acts, has delivered opinions that national capital. Now, it is well known to the As commissions to a man, band. "After the general's death his wily and medical world .that in the diseases thus start- I beg leave also to ask that I may be furnished And despise collecting fees dashing widow began to figure in Washington soci- make all thoughtful men thank God and take with or that you will give me access to copies of the OH a comprehensive plan. ety, all the time keeping up an elegant mansion in courage. lingly enumerated New York is in a worse Lexington avenue, New York, and served by the condition than Washington. And it is equally statements of any witnesses who may have been same old colored" help her father once owned in In the utter disregard of the Government examined by the committee touching the matter in SEW BOOKS. Pensacola. Governor Warmoth was one of her con- well known that defective sewerage is as bad in question, as I have thus far only seen brief news- stant and most fascinated guests. She used her LITERATURE FORR LITTLE FOLKSFOLKS.. By Elizabeth given us by the fathers; hi the wild destruc-| one city as the other. paper notices of a portion of the testimony Baid to powers as a soiceress on soft-hearted and wealthy Lloyd. Philadelphia: Sower, Potts & Co., pub- senators at the capital. How she arched her pretty tion of all constitutional guarantees that fol- have been taken'. lishers. Washington: Solomons & Chapman, The truth, however, does not end here. It is booksellers. neck and pleaded with h er brilliant eyes and plump, lowed the late civil war, it is a comfort to I have the honor to be, very respectfully, yoi white arms, will be remembered by men who were clearly recognized by educated inquirers that de- "Technicalgrammar is useful In its place," says in congress when the old contract for the govern- obedient servant, find one part of the old republic remaining fective sewerage is the curse of every city, from the author, " but committing the rules of syntax ment patent seal-lock had expired, and she lobbied (Signed) ROBERT C. SCHENCK. lavishly for the renewal. She spent about $60,000-• firm, able and conservative. The Supreme London to each inland town of ten thousand to memory never yet made a correct writer or to secure the contract, but then It was worth $100 - Court of the United States, like the proud inhabitants. The abuse of our late Board of peaker." It is to avoid this erroneous method of 000 a year. She understood the combinatiou that WE HAVE a note from the learned and eloquent teaching little children the parts of speech and their would unlock any senator's heart. She was a more old courts of England, appears to-day strong, Public Works is, therefore, senseless. And this wonderful piece of mechanism than the cunning impartial and conservative. It is the one arm becomes yet more stupid when it is known that George, the Count Joannes, which we hasten to relation to each other that this little work is written. patent seal. Her life has been a series of splendid publish. The high and well-born George, The good taste of the author in herselection of pieces victories over men, and her resources of coquetry of the Government to which we can appeal Washington, owing to its location, is one of the for this exercise will recommend the book as a are so boundless, her importunities so unrelenting, most difficult, if not the most difficult, town in Count Joannes, incloses an editorial and a let- her energy so uncompromising, that for years she without fear and Tegard without shame. ter from the New York Sun, which he wishes reader, while her method must be regarded as the has been looked upon as a queenly diplomate-of the In the reign of chaos, when prejudice, the world to drain. Built mainly on a swamp, one indorsed by con^non sense. lobby. She was implicated at the time an investi- the river that is to receive the drains runs on a us to reprint. We regret that it is not in our gation was made into the sale of arms to France bigotry and all the evil passions had full power to do so. The Count should remember How TO WRITE LETTERS. A MANUAL OF CORRES- during the Franco-Prussian war, but, as usual, rode level almost with our principal streets. When through the storm in safety."—Chicago Times. sway, the money-getting instincts, the un- that our city edition is issued on Sunday morn- PONDENCE, SHOWING THE CORRECT STRUCTURE, from freshets, this stream rises, the water is COMPOSITION AND PUNCTUATION, ¿to., OF LET- ing, and is taken by all the more pious people of wholesome greed of the North, appealed to par- forced back upon the sewers, and the foul, TERS, NOTES AND CARDS. By J. Willis Westlake, Maryland College of Pharmacy. A. M., professor of English literature in the State tisan zeal to rob and oppress a people through Washington as a sort of moral preparation for The twenty-fourth annual commencement of the • poisonous and subtle gasses find their way into normal school, Millersville, Pennsylvania. Sower, the Sabbath. Were we, under the circumstances, Maryland Collsge of Pharmacy took place at the Con- law that had already been subdued through our dwellings. If any engineering can remedy Potts & Co., Philadelphia, publishers. Solomons war. To make of the conquered South the this such engineering has not yet been found. to copy from that wicked journal, that " scur- & Chapman, Washington, booksellers. cordia Opera House, Baltimore, on Wednesday even- rilous " sheet, the New York Sun, we should We have generally held " The Complete Letter ing last, In the presence of a large audience, com- bound slave of moneyed monopolists, who posed of the relatives and friends of the gradnatee. The unusual sickness from which we suffer not only lose our circulation, but Hammond and Writer " in holy horror. But the little volume, be- never advanced a cent in support of the Gov- fore us is a book whose plan is as new and compre- The exercises were epened with piwer by the Rev. this season is mainly to be attributed to another Bentley would be requested to pray for us. If E. A. Dalrymple, D. D. The announcement of the ernment until the turn of war showed such hensive as its execution is creditable to its author. cause that could be remedied. We have lying we were prayed for by Hammond we should feel The design is to condense as much as possible the graduates was made by Professor William Simon, and advance to be a safe and profitable invest- above the Long Bridge a thousand acres of quite badly. rules of fashion, form and grammar, and this view the president, Mr. Jos. Roberts, conferred the degrees ment, was the unblushing attempt. Such swamp, subject to overflow, familiarly known as is as well accomplished as could be. and distributed the college and Alumni Society prizes. The count should be a philosopher and take the Mr. Richard Bayly Winder, one of the graduates, de- were the passions and prejudice of the masses the Kidwell Bottoms. From the decaying livered the valedictory address, which was exceed- editorial shower of decayed vegetables in a calm, A Card. following the insane assassination of Presi- vegetation of this field of death arises a malaria ingly clever and evinced a rare originlity of thought . dignified and indifferent manner. Let him re- WASHINGTON, D. C., March JO, 1870. that poisons the surrounding country, including ED. CAPITAL—Sir: In reply to your Inquiry of a few by Its complete difference In idea from the usial dent Lincoln that all appeal to a more civil- valedictory routine. our city of Washington. The last winter was member that all eminent men find immortality days since as to the probable time when we would com- ized impulse and principle was lost. The only mence the "soda season," we would say that on next The following Is a list of the graduates: unusually mild and open. The result is the through three degrees. The firstcome s when he study seemed to be enactments sufficiently is unanimously pronounced a fool; the second Sunday, April i, we will open with a fuU line of syrups, Dorsey, Millard 8. Gore, Henry Kornman, fever in all its deadly forms that afflicts our com- including of eourse our FAMOUS coffee, which in nolnt Richard Bayly Winder, jr., Frank A. Metkle, Charles stringent to punish and oppress a helpless when he is denounced as g damned rascal, and of favor and real excellence, has no equal in this coun- W. Gardner. William G. Hurd, Henry Dietrich, Gustav munity. A. Xnabe, William George Damm, Martin Lappe, Ed- part-of our own land. The system of taxa- the third when be goes to occupy his one bit of try. As for our mineral waters, which you so kludly w.rn,Jo?TSs' Fra.'?k.F- Zlmmer, J. C. Michael, Frank L. tion was little better than highway robbery We are pleased to know that this has reached designated last summer "as the best in the city," will Wallls, IHenrv O.Dsmm, J. Browu Baxley, Jr., John the . . . real estate, called the grave, when he is pro- be up to the usual standard of purity. For further par- H. Brooke, John Stauff. noses and throats of our law-makers, who I claimed, with much feeling, a good, able and ticulars call on us at the Ebbltt-house drug store. Fr«nk Djreey of.Maryland carried off the highest , Youry truly, HBLPIUSNSTINE & BENTLEY. . honors of the Institution, receiving tl e first prize. THE CAPITAL.—APRIL 2,187a

BIRTHS, AMUSEMENTS. AMUSEMENTS. IiOCAIi ITEMS. A sprightly babe was born to C. F. Hard- GREEN-ROOM GOSSIP. HARDING. lng on SaturdayIV,. ApriAprill 1. The young lady is doing •well. RATIONAL THEATER. TITIENS- How is This? ELEVENTH ANNUAL TOUR ! The Florences. Genuine English suitings, to order... £ $26 TEIiL. IT EVERYWHERE! POSITIVELY FOUR"NIGHTS ONLY. We had the pleasure of seeing Mr. and Mrs. Flor- Neat plaid suits, to order *22 DIED. That In view of the "hard times," and in order that ence in characters which they may be said to have Genteel suitings, to order $20 KING.—On April 1, 1878, at 4:35 p. m., Lola, youngest every man, woman and child may not be deprived the The SMoscb Grand Italian Opera, created, chaarcters which exhibit frfw and undls- Terms cash. No discount. No predlt. child of Norval V^. and Ella F. King, aged 2 years and pleasure of visiting the largest and,finest exhibition on A. SAKS & Co., 318 Seventh street. this continent, that we have reduced our price ol en- TO-MORROW (MONDAY) EVENING, APRIL 3, covered gifts that their warmest admirers did not 6 fSnerai" Monday. April 3,'at Vd p. m., at 411 Twelfth tranoe from fifty to street. Friends of the family are respectfully Invited. suppose these talented and versatile artists pos- ELEGANT printing at Knight's, SIE F street. [Republican and Star.J M'lle THERESA TITIENS In her unrivaled character of HOME LIGHT OIL—always safe- -ttnest light known. If it be true that one or the earmarks of genius ocl0-8m UNDERTAKER. 25 CENTS ADMISSION! is to destroy all traces of personal identity and Professor Valentine's NORMA. NORMA. NORMA. appear in a new role, Mr. Florence has estab- Soiree Dansanle Complimentary, Masonic Temple, B. F. HABYEY, Tuesday, April 4, LA TRAVIATA. lished his claim to this distinguished feature of Thursday, April 6. Cards of scholars or room 2, St. Wednesday, April 5, IL TROVATORE. ability. His Hon. Bardwell Slote is a sui generis, Cloud. B |' '''"' ' "' I 934 F street Northwest. Thursday, April 8, DON GIOVANNI. General admission, $1.50: Reserved Seats In Dress and in the future we will thiuk and speak of this NEAT printing by Knight, ME F street. "Circle,; $2 Reserved seats in Orchestra and Orchestra gentleman not by the name inherited from his an- Circle, $2.50. Seats can now be secured at Metzerott & Oo.'s Music Store, No. 825 Pennsylvania avenue.' cestors, nor by that prefixed thereto by his sponsors DAN. O'BRIEN'S famous restaurant, opposite the Bal- timore and Ohio Depot, Is fast becoming known as the WM. HAGKETT, WITH R. F, HARVEY, mr36-2t3 in baptism, but.by the title of Jufige Slote «or the best dining saloon on this celebrated road. Mr. O'Brien Honorable Slote, or the member from the Oskosh understands his business thoroughly, and always keeps 934 F street N. W. PROF. VALENTINE'S his table stocked with the best the market affords, district. while bis bar Is stocked wlth.tlie best brands of liquors. The second week of Mr. Florence's engagement ADDISON DAY, was not as successful as the first, nor was the first HOME LIGHT OIL—the finest hlgn-testoll In use. Send FASHIONABLE DANCING'ACADEMY, such as this gentleman's attractions deserved. The to 1138 Seventh street. ocio-am Practical Cabinet-maker and Undertaker, reason is patent.- The people of Washington have CHEAP printing at Knight's, 816 F street. been driven from theatrical entertainments to fire- NOW MASONIC TEMPLE. side amusèments, théir histrionic appetite has been WHILE riding on an F street caire No. 237 Seventh street, near Maryland avenue. I came across an old smokalre, TUESDAYS AND FRIDAYS, LADIES AND GENTS., destroyed, their'dramaticcud lost, beoauseour stage Who said, if you wantagood cigaire has been made the asylum of those who are distin- That will help to drive away dull caire, ;8®-Orders promptly executed at reasonable prices. guished for poverty of talent and poverty of pocket. Just say to the festive drlvalre, decG-8 ; ' " ' WEDNESDAYS AND SATURDAYS,{JUVENILES. Please let me out at the Ninth street squalre, JOHIM O'BRIEN'S Another such a season will end in the erection of Call on George for a B.j-C. clgalre. EELIGIOUS I0TI0ES. ano:hef theater in this city, if this wished for result It will suit you to a T, I'll swairc, 6 GREAT SHOWS! MATINEE S1TIIBDAY. If not you may shoot this papengalre. ALL CONSOLIDATED. is not accomplished sdoner. The mighty dollar will buy a box of B.—C.'s. "UNIT A.KIAN SERVICES.—The REV. I.F. W. Ih bidding farewell to Mr. and Mrs. Florence and _ WARE of Boston, will preaeh In the Unitarian lenagerie, Museum, Circus and church, corner of Sixth andD streets, TO-DAY at 11 Class open for beginners now, ending season May the Mighty Dollar, we commend them to our sister HOME LIGHT OIL—never known te explode. Sole o'clock a. in. and 7:30 p. in. Sunday-school at 9:45 a. m. marl9-4t3 cities, where the stars may, have such a support as agents at 1138 Seventli street. ocl0-6m Communion Immediately after morning servi.e. *-6 Hippodrome ! ' • 15, $8. will fully sustain them in their happy Impersona- WILL EXHIBIT AFTERNOON AND EVENING, FOR OPERA. SPECIAL NOTICES. ONE WEEK ONLY.Bm WASHINGTON, tions of two most original and distinctively Ameri- Opera kid gloves at Wolford & Shllberg's, 817 Market LE0TUEES. can characters on the stage. Space. ' - SPECIAL ART NOTICE. MONDAY, APRIL 10, A New Comedy. Six PEE CENT, ¡»aid on deposts, payable on demand Messrs. Paris, Witt & Poindexter beg to inform the Special rates on time deposits. J. H. Squler & Co., AND WILL LOCATE AND OCCUPY THE 1776. CENTENNIAL. 1876. Hazlitt says " comedy is a graphic ornament to the public that they will open a SCHOOL OF ART AND EXTENSIVE VACANT SQUARE At the request and in response to the Invitation of a. civil order, the Corinthian capital of polished society. bankers. . i • . feb20-»mos. • DESIGN for ladles and gentlemen, in their rooms in ON THE large number of Senators, Members of Congress, the Nobby, Dressy and Cheap. the St. Cloud building, corner Ninth and F streets. District Commissioners, Judiciary, and prominent Like the mirrors which have been added to the citizens of the District, sides of »ur theaters, it reflects the images of grace, Spring overcoats 1 Spring overcoats 1 any size from Courses of instruction will begin in oil and water COR. OFHIHTHAMD S STREETS. of gayety and pleasure, double, and completes the 32 to 48. Prices from »5 t. $40. The largest variety in color palntlngi architectural and mechanical drawing. «-Ninth street cars pass the Show Grounds, Seventh COLONEL JOHN W. FORNEY Any one desiring to enter upon a course in either of and Fourteenth street cars go within one block of it, WILCI GIVE HIS GREAT perfection of human life." We have chosen this as a the c ty. A aAKS & Co., 316 Seventh «treet. the above branches, will please to advise us at once. and several other Unes within three and four blocks oi text for some remarks on a new play performed on the lot. CENTENNIAL LECTURE, CALL at Knight's, 816 F street, and get estimates for Pupils will now be received for the first quarter, end- THE. GREATEST AND GRANDEST EX- Including an account of his experience in Europe In Wednesday evening at the residence of Mrs. Rines, ing July 1st. your printing. HIBITION OF THE NINETEENTH connection with the Centennial Exhibition, 810 Twelfth street, for the benefit of the " Women's Term land particulars may be obtained by applying CENTURY. Christian Association." THE place to buy a nobby suit of spring clothing, at At Lincoln Hall, Friday Eve's, April 7, '76, MR. WALTER PARIS, Artist, THE MAMMOTH MBXTAQBHIE IN AID OF "THE DISTRICT FUND" • The play is called "Love made to Older a any figure between $10 and $60, is Roman 4 Cox's, S07 CONTAINS To provide a building on the Cetennnlal Grounds for Second National Bank Building. Comedy," and it really is a specimen of pure light Seventh street, opposite Post Office. the use and as a rendezvous for Washlngtonlans , i MR. J. H WITT, Artist, MONSTER LIVING SEA LIONS! comedy; its action, incidents and situations grow visiting the Exhibition. MRS. J. P. PALMEK will give the ladies of Washington No. 7 Vernon Row. ACTING ELEPHANTS! Tickets $1, for sale at all the hotels and at Metzerott's out of the intrigues of a mother to accomplish, and arare treat in her line exhibition of Paris pattern bon- MR. W.M. POINDEXTER, Arohltect, ' Eland, Ostrich, Bears, Crocodile. Gorilla.Lions, Tigers, music store, where seats can be secured without any of a father to present, the marriage of an only nets and hats, which she will open on Thursday next, No. 8 Vernon Kow. Kangaroo, and In all Thousands of Beasts and extra charge, commencing Tuesday morning, April 4. daughter to an English baronet- The scene is laid in April 6. . ; . • • - WASHINGTON, D. C., March 80, 187». ap2-tfi Birds. (See Catalogue for details.) America, and the following is a brief outline of the FKANK HAGERTT'S'-Hole in the Wall" restaurant DEEP BOCK WATER TIIE GRAND MUSEUM! plot:, A friend of the daughter is on a visit to the on Louisiana avenue, opposite the City Hall, la most Exhibits a host of Wonderful Curiosities. All family, «nd i.s engaged by the.father to make love to liberally patronized by all who are fond of having the Mechanical Automata are operated TALLMADGE HALL everything of the best in liquors and cigars. From the celebated Mineral Springs at OSWEGO, NEW by an improved the Englishman, so as to draw his attentions from YORK, for sale on draught or by the gallon at STATIONARY STEAM ENGINE! the daughter ; to counteract this the mother employs OUB lady friends will tod great bargains at Davis'. MILBURN'S PHARMACY, Also to be seen Giants, Dwarfs, Armor, Statuary, Ac, a nephew to make love to thè daughter's friend; A new feature In Mr. D.'s elegant stock, Is a complete F STREET, BET. 9TH and I0TH. the father overhears the bargain between the line of ladies' underwear, which Is of the finest mate- 1429 Pennsylvania avenue, near Willard's Hotel. A. FOUNTAIN OF HEAL WATER! rial, and of the most beautiful workmanship. Mr. p. The best diuretic and alterative water now in use. mother,and nephew; persuades him that the has an advertisement in another column which speaks mother is mad on the baronetcy-question, and en- for itself. ap4-tf3 gages him to make love to his daughter, "just a little SPECIAL NOTICE There will be a meet- DOUBLE CSRCUS! mite," he says, to draw the, attention from her THE ¡FAMOUS billiard player, T, J. Duffy, lias taken ing of the Stockholders of the Corcoran Fire IS PRESENTED IN The Best-located Hall in the City. charge of the Seaton billiard saloon, and those who Insurance Company, at their office, on MONDAY, the baronet. The nephew, who is the loverof the daugh- have a taste for such sport;wlll find everything in the 3d day of April,for the purpose of electlngnine directors TWO SEPARATE RINGS! ter, takes advantage of the situation to press his own arrangement and management of this room such as to for the ensuing year. Polls will be opened at 12 m. and WITH close at 2 p. m. \ J. T. DYER, suit. In this he.is aided by the lover of the daugh- tempt the taste and Invite them to indulge it In the mhl9-3t5 ; Secretary. EASY OF ACCESS, ter's friend. The nephew persuades the mother healthy and graceful game. 2 Fall First-Class Circus Companies HEADQUARTERS SOLDIERS' AND that she can only accomplish her suit by planning BKODHEAD & CO. advertise an. Immense stock of Both appearing at the same time In two separate rings, WELL LIGHTED, an elopement of the daughter with the Englishman, spring goods, which, from the * ell-known reputation composed of the most celebrated Male and Female Per- and reliability of this house, we feel fully justified In formers In Europe and this country. (See Catalogue IIEATED AND VENTILATED, under cover of which he secures the daughter for indorsing as equal if not superior to any ever brought SAILORS' BENEFICIAL ASSOCIATION, for names.) Also performing Dogs, Goats, Monkeys, himself. Of the play we would say, in general to this market. Our lady friends should read their Tigers, Lions, Elephants, &c., &c. 1233 F street northwest, c- tliSs JLn. Mlmdi terms, that its plot is ingenious, its situations amus- advertisement, which will be found In another column. More than double the amount of attraction and ing, its characters natural and well-defined, and its WASHINGTON, D. C., March 10, 1876. novelty to be seen In these Six Combined Shows than lias Spacious Dlniog and Dressing.room» BY REFERRING, to our advertising columns it will dialogue easy and sprightly. It was performed by In any other tented exhibition now traveling, for only be seen that our thorough go-ahead business man, Mr. Attached. ladies and gentlemen who displayed more talent G. W. Keen, has lately been combining, and now he has a big combination on handi and one that can han- 25 CENTS ADMISSION! than is usually evinced by amateurs. This is espe- dle things both fast and safely: Mr. K. has always Turn out everybody, and seethe Grand and GorgeouB cially true of the young lady who personated the deserved and received the encouragement and support ATTENTION SOLDIERS: HOLIDAY PAKADE! IS FIRST CLASS IN EVERY PARTICULAR. heroine. of our citizens, and by this last stroke ef enterprise he proves how worthy he has been and Is of them. The author of this play is Mr. Frank Gellatley, TWO POWERFUL BANDS! TALLMADGE & CO.. All honorably discharged Soldiers and Sailors of the Mounted Knights, Cavaliers, Ladles, &c. and we look for its representation upon the public MR. GEO. M. BARKER'S " general depot" for doors, mar20-3m8 PROPRIETORS. sash, blinds, hardware, glass, &c„ 848 and 651 New late war of the rebellion, who are interested In the pas' stage, where its merits maybe displayed to their York avenue, is the largest In the city, and a full line sage by Congress of a bill for the equalization of boun 200 Plumed Horses! best advantage. of every class of building material can be found of the ties, are respectfully requested to call at the office of MORE THAN A BULK OF CHARIOTS! MIS0ELLANE0US. best quality at B.'s establishment, and at figures that the committee for particulars. &c. Elephants and Camels in Harness, New and Novel are surprisingly low. We commend those In want of The Masonic ©rip on the Gallows Features never seen In any other Show Parade. Go to anything In Ills line to give him a call. the Show Grounds, look at the [Elizabeth Oakes Smith, in Potter's American D. W. BLISS, M. D„ .A. gents "Wanted. Monthly.] SINCE Mr. Dave Hagerty has taken Talt j's old stand, Late Surg. U. S. Vols. Legion of Laborers! " Calcraft, who recently retired from the trying corner Seventh and E streets, It has become one of the Preparing the two separate and remote Rings. Behold most popular places in the city. Mr. H. has put the JAS. B. CARTER, position of hangman in England, had an agreeable Late 9th N. Y. S. M., (83d Volt.) custom of always shaking hands with those upon house In thorough repair, and now keeps it in the THE ARMY OF MEN & HORSES! CENTENNIAL MEDALLIONS, whom he was about to carry out the sentence of the best possible manner, keeping his bar always stocked The Immense Baggage and Quartermaster Train». The with best wines and liquors, while his table is very su- CHAS. L. HULSE, law. But It has been observed that Marwood, his Late 14th N. Y. S. M., (82d Vols.,) pft *»-«•» - Struck in solid Albata Plate, equal in appearance, successor, never does this, and speculation has been perior. The gentlemen's dlnlng-saloon up stairs Is rife in certain quarters as to the cause of his depar- handsome, comfortable and cosy. Committee. WITH ROOM FOR •wear and color to ture from this precedent. Freemasons will be inter- Office hours, 0 a. m. to 4 p. m., and 6 to 9 p. m. 10,000 SPECTATORS! KID GLOVES handsome!/cleaned, 12£ eents per pair. marl 2-415 ested to learn that the reason is, because he is a Kid Gloves handsomely cleaned, 12i cents per pair. And all the Immense Paraphernalia, representing a SOLID SILVER OR GOLD free and accepted Mason, and dreads the condemned Kid Gloves handsomely cleaned, 121 cents per pair. man giving him a Masonic grip in return." Kid Gloves handsomely cleaned, 124 cents per pair. ANTED— CASH OUTLAY OF ONE MILLION DOLLARS! I find the above copied into several papers, and Kid Gloves handsomely cleaned, 124 cents per pair. And don't ferget, that this whole show Is exhibited for Presenting a large variety of beautiful DESIGNS IX am curious to know the possibilities should the Kid Gloves handsomely cleaned, 124 cents per pair. RELIEF. , „ . , Masonic " grip " meet the hand of the executioner. Kid Glove3 handsomely cleaned, 12J cents per pair. YOUNG MEN and LADIES to learn the best System 25 Cents Admission for Everybody! These Medallions are larger than a silver trade dol- And, first, is It allowable for a Freemason to take the Office under National Theater. of Shorthand. Full instructions, with book, sent for lar, being one and five eighths Inches In diameter, degraded office of hangman? Second, would the $2.25. No further aid required. Satisfaction guaran OPENS AT 1 AND 7 P. M. Commences handsomely put up and sell readily at sight. condemned man go through his trial and condemna- THE MOST VALUABLE SOUVENIRS AND MEMEN- MADAME EMMA SOULS, 1107 pennsylvadia ave. teed. Address . "TEACHER,; an Hour Later, BAIN OR SHINE! TOES EVER ISSUED. tion and "give no sign?" Masonic signals,under- its* 180 West Tenth street, New York city, stood wherever the institution is found, and it is nue, (over Gait's,) will open this week a magnifi- Extra Trains and Reduced Fares on all Railroads. A complete outfit of magnificent samples for agents, found the world over, h ave certainly stood men good cent stock of millinery goods, comprising, in part, Good order always maintained. Courteous Ushers In ki velvet land Morocco case, Including the Bust or beautiful French imported bonnets, which will be attendance. Seats for all. "George Washington," Grand Entrance International- service when driven to extremity. My grandfather Exhibition, Memorial Hall, (Art Gallery,) Horticul- was one of the early Masons of the State of Maine, found to equal if not surpass any in the city. The 1876 SPRING. 1876 JOHN O'BRIEN, Proprietor, «j 1IAS. H. CA8TU.K, Director General. tural Hall, Main Building, and the grand representa- having organized a lodge in his own premises. At millinery department is a new branch of business, ap2-2tl tion of the signing of the Declaration of Independence., one time, while commanding his ship in the Carib- which Madame Soule has but recently adopted in BRODHEAD & CO., designed by Trumbull, In gilt, sent by mail on receipt bean Sea, he was assailed by pirates. Having no connection with her dressmaking business- of draft or Post Office order for $3.50, or will ship by ordnance on board, and flight having proved un- 939 PISK8TISAIA AVIHIE, express C. O. D. upon receipt of express charges. availing, he was obliged to heave to and wait the re- Entertainment for the Poor. "piOKD'S OPERA HOUSE. Agents'Circular and Price List and one sample sent sult. The buccaneers proved to be Spaniards. My Members of the Shakspeare Club, and some of our Between Ninth and Tenth Streets, upon receipt of fifty cents. Immense profits. Sells at grandfather ordered his men below, and placed him- MONDAY EVENING, APRIL 3, AND MATINEES sight. Extensive fields for enterprise. Address, all finest singers, have consented to give an entertainment communications self, pistol in had, upon the quarter deck. I have on the 19 th of April, at Lincoln Hall, for the poor. The Invite tbe attention of friends, customers and strangers WEDNESDAY AND SATURDAY". U. S. MEDALLION CO., ¡212 Broadway, N. Y. heard him say that the captain was a handsome many cases of suffering in our midst has made this to their stock of New Spring Dress Goods, Parasols, ENGAGEMENT EXTRAORDINARY. man, with gentlemanly manners, and elegantly Hosiery, &c., &e„>hich they are now opening at prices FOR ONE WEEK ONLY. P. O. Box 5210. marl2-6mo8 equipped with sword, belt and pistols. As he ap- necessary. • . Tickets can' be purchased at E11I6'music store, or of lower than ever. proached the spot occupied by my relative, the latter Mrs. Joyce, president Lanles' Benevolent Society, 1208 IroAll-woon Grenadinel Debeges ,fro 40c.m; forme37ci. upr price. , 50c. MATT MORGAN'S KER & GREEN, bethought himself to make the Masonic sign ap- N street, or any of the ladles of the society. propriate for such an occasion. Immediately the Black Lyon's Silks from 95c. up, (Including Pousons, Bellons, Gulnet and Bonnet.) captain gave command for his men, who had j. v. W. HOYCK, real estate broker, has sold for Beautiful Linen Lawns In fine qualities. ^ _*SK x: B» • «» • « 2 «-» m swarmed the deck, to retire to their own craft, while James E. Fitch, Esq., to Hon. Thomas B. Bryan, part of Freres Koechlln French Cambrics in Plain, Plaid and Hatters and Furriers, the two officers retired to the cabin, and shortly lot 5, In square 285, improved by a two-story brick sta- Figured, including Bottle Green, Navy Blue, Ac., &c. OF after the pirate left and hoisted sail to depart. Now, ble, for $2,500. All-wool Shetland Shawls, $1.25. here was a man engaged in a most nefarious busi- Parasols and Sun Umbrellas from 19c. to $8.75. above ness, submitting to the laws of the Masonic order. FOR CHARLES T.DAVIS, ESQ., to Hon.Samnel F. Three-button Kids, In all colors, $1.35. LIVING STATUES. 1419 Wamsutta Cotton, l!Jc. per yard. „ . . Would a felon be likely to omit his opportunity for Phillips, lot C in John A. Ruff, et. al., sab-dlvislon of Willard'» • escape by a like means,before the necessity came lots 5, 8, 7 and part of lot 4 in square 575, for $12,628. Three hundred dozen Eureka Spool Silk In all shades 20 BEAUTIFUL YOUNG LADIES IN THEM. Pennsylvania fAi* tha flnnl " ffrin 9" WiniIH the order interfere for (best In the United States.) FOR HON. THOMAS B. BRYAN, to Charles F. Davis, Ten B Iron Frame Hose, $4 per dozen. Exquisite Hotel. an acknowledged felon? I think not. Would the Full line Ladles' and Gents' Underwear. executioner shocked at receiving the Masonic grip Esq., part of lot 38, in square 167, for $10,000; also part HISTORICAL AND MYTHOLOGICAL TABLEAUX. at such an extremity, be likely to act in accordance of lot 50, in Thomas B. Bryan's subdivision of lots 1,4, BRANCH STORE, PHRYNE BEFORE THE TRIBUNAL, with the laws of the order, or would he act in accor- 11 and 18, bia, No. 1505 Pennsylvania avenue, north of united John T. Mitchell, applied for a pension. I have never seen you nor States Treasury Department. Despite the somewhat NEW YORK, NEW BOOKS. known of your whereabouts since May, In '63. I now dull times, this company has been continually Increas- and only withdrawn because of the opening of the remember that 1 was wouuded while on picket on the ing their business, as they have, no doubt, given the 931 PKNK8YI.VAIiIA AVEJS1E, LYCEUM THEATER. Nansemond river. The time was while the gunboat public the best evidence of their reliability. Xhe fol- stepping-stone was shelling the rel»s in front of my The Properties, Costumes, Scenery, Ac., are identi- Diseases of the Nervous System. By Dr. Hammonds post. My skull was cracked, and a piece pressed on the lowing named are its directors: Walter b. Cox, pres- ident; Doctor William P. Johnston, vice president; Has just returned from New York, and will open cally the same as those used in Cloth, $G; sheep, $5. brain, from which causc 1 have suffered with aberration NEW YORK. of mind and frequent insanity until the spring ol '72, William R. Riley, Charles Edmonston,D. P. Robinson, Handbook of Agricultural Styles. By Rosengar- in the Polaris expedition to the North Pole, under the S. Thomas Brown, William Gait, W. E. Matting ly, during this week a carefully selected stock of goods, The distinguished Contralto, late C. F. Hall. I got a permit to Join the expedition William King; C. B. Maury, treasurer, and irank 1. MISS ANNIE KEMP BOWLER, ten. $0. in hopes to die up there or recover from my then to me Rawllngs, secretary. embracing all the novelties of the season. will appear, and Animal Parasites and Messmates. By Van Beneden. unknown ailment. In the spring qf 1872 the piece or International Scl. Series. $1.50. bone that pressed on the brain raised of itself, and I BROWNING'S BITTERS will cure dyspepsia. Indiges- SILK AND DBAF E TE SACQUXS, .CLARK BROS., am positive I have not been out of my right mind since; the most Artistic Ethiopian Comedians now on the A Short History of Natural Science. By Buckley. $2. tion and constipation. For sale by the druggists, tf but what bothers me most Is that I don't know how I SUITS, OVERDRESSES, «Jfce. stage, and Memoir of Caroline Herschel, with portraits. »1.75. got back to the regiment nor how I got home; in fact the whole of nine years since then has been a Rip Van THE GILSEY FAMILY, The Henelds of Virgil. New Edition. By William A largo stock of fine SUN UMBELLAS, Morris. $2.50. Winkle sleep to me, with an indistinctly remembered CITY ITEMS. BELLA AND IDA GILSEY, AXD MISS IDA GILSEY. "nightmare accompaniment. I have made application Religion and Philosophy of Swedenborg. By Theop. for a transcript of myself from the regimental records, JOHN T MITCHELL, MR. PAUL SUMER8, but am told they are not with the other records here, MR. B. S. HODGES, Parsons. »1.25. and I can give no account of any hospital treatment MATTINGS 23 cents a yard and upwards, at Moore's, apr2-4t3 931 Pennsylvania avenue, Just published and for sale by in the regiment, and If I remember rightly you were 300 Ninth street. Call and examine. MR. DAN COLLYER, &c. there, but you was with the regiment, and mine was a grand guard picket outpost several miles from First-Class Scouring and Dyeing. Admission, 25, 50 and J5 cents. Secured seats 25 cents MOBTJN BROS., the regiment, and I may have been treated by the San- KNOX'S EXPRESS mr26-2t2 1015 Pennsylvania Avenue« • itary Commission. :Xtra" SEATS SECURED IN ADVANCE. If I succeed in obtaining a pension Imaythank God, A. Fischer enlarged his establishment by removing AND that old felt hat and the long thick head of hair that I to his new building, used to Iteaf, for my life. My honor, which to me is rpHEATER COMIQUE. far deareiVthan life, as well as my necessities, IB the 906 G Street, 3 Doors West of Ninth Street, COMBINATION FAST LINE motive power which actuates me In sending you this letter. I am now pecuniarily unable to go to New just a few steps from Ills former place on Ninth street MMONDAY. APRIL 2, EVERY NIGHT AND WED- Hampshire, else I would see you personally. A bill for WILL NOW DELIVER ALL CLASSES OF GOODS °NE4DAY AND SATURDAY MATINEES. DREKA where he Is ready to do any work in his line In his FROM THE RAILROAD DEPOTS OR ANY AD- my relief has been referred to the Committee on Inva- Engagement oflhe young American Comedian, liai 0HESTNUT ST., PHILADELPHIA. lid Pensions, and by them referred to a sub-committee, superior manner. DRESS IN WASHINGTON, GEORGETOWN AND ^ * ME. SlD. FRANCE, who I have requested to stay reporting on my case until ALEXANDRIA, AND THEIR SUBURBS. GOODS who will appear in thp striking, sparkling, exciting and I obtain your official statement of my case te corrobo- Kid Gloves and Shoes, Crape Veils cleanejfat a very CALLED FOR IN ANY OF THE ABOVE-NAMED fascinating sensational drama, entitled EINE STATIONERY rate the certificates of other doctors who have profes- short notice. Ladles' Dresses cleaned without taken CITIES. AND DELIVERED IN BALTIMORE, ONLY MARKED FOR LIFE. sionally attended me outside of the service. ODE CHARGE. Very truly, yours, NATHANIEL J. COFFIN, apart, and spots removed without cleaning the whole Fniraffement of the »henomenons of laughable oom- garment. Gent's Clothes cleaning and dyeing a Principal Office 603 Pennsylvania Avenne, edy?the Cawthorne Boy., Master HERBERT and LIT- -al Kn| Late First Lieut. Co. X. 18th X. H. Vol. In. TLi: JOE. First appearance here of the essence of My address Is No. 1357 K street southeast, Washington. •pecialty. marlt-lyl [New Hampshire papers please copy.] humor, comedy, song and dance and double Jig speclal- Sample Book and Prices of Fine Note Papers sent OB Gt. W. KNOX, ties, Messrs. T1ERNY AND ORONIN. G. B.Harcourt application. ADAME L. P. J ANNEBETT. No. 1209 Pennsyl- AGENT. ind Kite O'Connor, Little Lottie and the Gem Ballet THE treasury girls are called the Pretty Possibili- vanla avenuele,, will open on SATURDAY------,, • Apri- l 1, ties since the Chrifitiancv episode.—Boston Post. And M TrouM, and full cimpany In the grandest entertain- Mail Orders Receive Prompt Attention. and MONDAY, April 8, and at 83 North Cliarles street, 45 North street, Baltimore, GEIGAN tc CO. ment o? the season. Two hours variety and two hours MH Hi* b*>chPlor Senators or Ohristiancy's age are called Baltimore, a choice assortment of French Millinery. ap2-lmo2 drama. OH Probabilities] mar20-im9 Agents. THE CAPITAL. —APRIL 2, 1876.

For THE CAPITAL. wasn't stolen from the French, that's one. It wasn'. three years and six months. I must say he was " SEMI-ANHUAL'S" DREAM. 'faked' up from a novel, that's another. But you very liberal. He offered Bijou—for whose services GE00EBIES. must understand that it is quite possible that every GE00EEIES. BY J. C. E. Shook & Palmer had onoe expressed themselves body may wish it had been when it is produced. A Government clerk, willing to give $160 per week, and whom Boucicault Exhausted with work, "Can't you give me an Idea of the story ?" "Yes, was anxious to take with him to England on very THE AMERICAN COFFEE COMPANY T. L. HUME. J. K. CLEARY. Retired one night to his bed, if you insist. Ready? Chester Delafield, weak, liberal terms—he offered $30 per week for the first And got In his prayer, amiable, studious, reflective. Suburban home, wife, year, $40 for the second, an d $60 for the third. This M. W. CORNER OF THIRTEENTH AND F With the usuai care. businesswoman, surrounded by parasites and rela- offer I declined—if for no other reason, because I will STREETS. Fell asleep and dreamed he was dead. tives. Mary, the daughter, in love with Vince, poor not sell my child and her talents. I am Matilda HALL * HUME, He thought he drew near but respeotable. Mother won't have it. Wyld_, Heron; there is but two of us In the world. Bijou To thfe heavenly sphere, reckless speculator, determined to have Mary! and I—we cannot be parted. Under the engagement "Which appeared to him like a great fort, Involves mother, financially and socially. Weak Bijou, at the age she most needs a mother's care, DEALERS IN When an angel looked down, father, unable to help anybody. Grand crisis. Weak would be liable to be sent over the country, away STAR WHISKY. And said with a frown, father runs away. Back comes Mark Delafield from me and my protection. I would not sell this " Well, sir, pass up your report 1" his place. Mark, strong, executive, fearless, rich thirteen-year old child. They offered me the salary in STAR WHISKY. Fine Groceries, Imported Lux and resolute. Everybody disconcerted, villain out- Continued success of the cele "Civil service on high!" advance and a consideration, but I declined, and brated Star Whisky. Each day uries, Wines, Brandies and Said the clerk with a sigh, witted, wife reprimanded, daughter saved, love re persisted in declining. Then Bijou,who had been pre- I thedemandforHincreases,and As the document passed out of sight, warded—curtain. Will that do?" pared to go South and play Eaitch In Pique, was told Its reputation Is well known to Whiskies, "Tell me something about the characters. all. This Whisky is distilled And worried indeed, by Mr. Daly that she need not expect to be sent out. expressly for me, and can be That he might not succeed, " 0, bother the characters. Go and see them for She came home with her face all red and swollen. had nowhere but at the AMERICAN COFFEE COM'Y. In getting Ills papers through right. yourself. All I can say about the piece is, I am 'What is the matter, Bijou ?' I said,' you have been Main Store, 807 Market Space, afraid you will be disappointed In it. The whole Then heaven he viewed, crying.' ' O, mamma,'she sobbed, 'Mr. Daly says thing is a little trick that I suggested to Lester Wal- Warehouse, 607 C Street Northwest, And his faith was renewed, I am never to play In his theater again. I may draw lace a year ago. He liked the idea, and I promised The Star Whisky has gained a For he thought he'd committed no sin; my salary, but I am never to act again in his theater reputation not only 1 n this city, OFFER AT NEW YORK AGENTS' PRICES THE He said he would wait, to write it out for him. It never occurred to me to or with his company.' I watched with her all that but In the West iilso. It was FOLLOWING FAMOUS BRANDS OF set it up as an American comedy, and I have not used during the Babcock whis- Out there at the gate, night and the next, for the poor child was delirious ky trials at 8t. Louis, and pro- 'Till the good Lord should bid him come in. bothered my head about It since It has been out of from disappointment and excitement. I will never nounced to be superior to any- my hands. The fact Is I have got something else to thing in that city. The angel reappeared, forgive Mr. Daly for making my child suffer—never!" think about." And said that he feared (And here Matilda Heron drew herself up in indig- . Pommery & Greno, Reims, " Ah I another play, perhaps ?" " No ; I am going nation. Her form clothed In a loose wrapper, and— BELKNAP. The clerk still had something to learn; The Star Whisky Is reeom- Moet & Chandon, Epernay, For the Judge of the court, to Colorado on the 15th of April to get certain mate- incongruously enough—in a rich jacket of blaek silk mended bv the leading physi- G. H. Mumm & Co., Reims, ' Sent back the report, with feathery trimmings which she had thrown cians in the city to be a pure, rials for an American story. I have just signed the all Rye Whisky. No adultera- Which was marked, " Please correct and return. contract." about her—dilated her dark eyes, contrasting with tion. Ch. Farre, Reims, If Twins is a failure, it may thus be Imagined that her prematurely gray hair rolled back smoothly- George Goulet & Co., Reims, PROM NEW YORK. we shall nev.er 'see Nym Crinkle again—he will go underhercap of white muslin, fairly blazed with REAL ESTATE POOL. Giesler & Co., Avize, (Champagne,) excitement. She might have stood for Marie An- to Colorado, and he will never return ! ! I per- Connoisseurs pronounce the De St. Marceau & Co., Reims, eeived his intention, and In mercy ceased to tor- toinette resenting the intrusion of the guard in her Star Whisky to be superior to Beflections on: the Boad—Nym Crinkle Speaks anyWhlsky sold In this mat ket. Chas. Heidsieck & Co., Reims, of Twins—Matilda Heron and Her Bijou. ture him with further conundrums. Mr. Wal- prison.) "And," she said, " If Mr. Daly Is anxious to The great demand for it Is a lack is understood to have gone to much expense hear what my projects for Bijou are let him know sufficient guarantee of Its good Heidsieck & Co., Reims. (Oar own correspondence.) qualities. NEW YORK, March 30,1876. for the production of Mr. Wheeler's Twins. Matt, that In three years and six months' time, with God's Conspicuous among the deadly allegations which Morgan has reproduced In foe simile Mr. Wal- help, she will be acting in French, In Italian and in ASK FOR 'I'm society, reflected through the newspapers, Inevitably lack's residence at Stamford, and this will be English—in New York and in Paris—from St. Peters- Also, in Native Champagnes, hurls at a man when, through misfortune or folly, found one of the most beautiful sets ever seen at burg to San Francsico!" * SAPHIB. STAR WHISKY. STAR WHISKY. jhe falls from some high estate, which includes " a this theater. The play itself does not call for any STAR WHISKY. STAR WHISKY. PLEASANT VALLEY. STEUBEN COUNTY, NEW liigh old time," is that he drove a fast horse. Con- display of realism. A horse and coupé are em- YORK; SANS PARIEL, SANDUSKY, OHIO. sider, then, the feeling of self-reproach that one ployed in it, but otherwise it strictly avoids the sen- Baron Ham«, Gainsborough and Sirs. Sid- sational. Only two sets are used for the lour acts, must experience when seated behind, not alsne one, dons. Sold by tbe one being an extensive view of Cedar cottage at -but two equines of the rapid order. Picture the deep Another Edinburgh friend of ours was Baron DUFF GORDON SHERRIES, damnation of the taking down, from one's moral Stamford. The entire company Is concerned in the Hume, a Scottish law dignitary, a charming old standpoint, of the ideas inculcated by a long course cast, and young ladies who dote on jeune premiert gentleman of the very old school, who always wore OFFLEY PORTS, powder and pigtail, knee buckles, gold buckles and AMERICAN COFFEE COMPANY, of reading the commentaries oa disgraced bank who can sing will doubtless go into ecstacies over BRANDENBURG FRERE CLARETS, * black Bilk stockings; and who sent a thrill of delight CRUSE ET FILS CLARETS, clerks and mined politicians, to the effect that when the interpretation of an incidental serenade by Mr. through my girlish breast when he addressed moras N. W. COR. THIRTEENTH AND F STS. one drives it is ruinous to future bliss to go faster Stevenson. he Invariably did, by the dignified title of "madam:" BURGUNDY WINES LALANDE'S CLARETS. though I must sorrowfully add that my triumph on WHITE WINES, than a decorous amble. You can, for you, too, prob- Mora, the photographer, who has proven so formi- this score was con.iderably abated when, on the oc- CATAWBA, ably know what it Is to experience, behind a fleet dable a rival to Sarony, 1b preparing what might be casion of my second visit to Edinburgh, after I had CALIFORNIA WINER courser, or even two or three, what the darling Gay termed a centennial albnm. The ladies—all well- come out on the stage, I went to see my kind old H. C. BOWERS. friend, who was too aged and Infirm to go to the sep24-6inosl Spanker gushingly depicts as " earth, heaven—all, known in society—who have participated in the theater, and who said to me as I sat on a low stool all one glowing ecstacy." You thin may be able to tableau at the Union League Theater, furnish the by his sofa, "Why, madam, they tell me you are be- OLD FRENCH BRANDIES, sympathize even with the dreadful enormity of a subjects for the photographs, each of which repre- aming a great tragic actress! But," added he, put- G. G. CORNWELL & SONS, ting his hand under my chin and raising my face to- •drive on Sunday in which one " passes everything sent some nation in a symbolic female figure.Th e HOLLAND GIN, wards him, "how am I to believe that of this laugh- FINE GROCERS. IRISH WHISKY, on the road." The stable from which you are "Germany" is a stately blonde, distinguished In ing face, madam ?". No doubt he saw in his mem- SCOTCH WHISKY, launched on this journey should by rights have over society, and among those who furnish the other ory s eye the majestic nose of my aunt, and my "vis- nomy" under the effect of such a contrast mnBt have 1418 Pennsylvania avenue, opposite Wil- JAMAICA RUM. Its portals, "Who enters here leaves several hun- " subjects " is Miss Stevens, daughter of Mrs. Paran looked comical enough by way of a magic mask. By lard's Hotel. PEACH BR A.NDY, ST. CHOES RUM. dred horses behind," for there does not emerge from Stevens. The album, which will be superbly gotten the bye, it is on record that while Gainsborough was APPLE BRANDY. painting that exquisite portrait of Mrs. Siddons CALIFORNIA PEARS, CORDIALS. its really handsome precincts an animal that has np in every way, is intended for presentation to the w Car load Just received, in prime order. not a good record. It is a model—this stable—not 5 oh is now in the South Kensington gallery, and Trade supplied. LIQUEURS, Union League Club, and will prsbably be completed Which for many fortunate years adorned my father's MALAGA GRAPES, BITTERS. only of comfort, which implies spaciousness, but of in time for the next ladles' reception. house, after working in absorbed eilence for seme Fine large clusters. elegance, which implies a great many things known The most notable performance, perhaps, of the time he suddenly exclaimed: "Damn it, madam, BANANAS, FRESH SELTZER WATER, ordinarily only to a brown-stone front of Fifth ave- mere is no end to your nose!" The restoration of Asplnwall, fine order. series given by the French company at the Academy tnat beautiful painting has destroyed the delicate ORANGES, nue. If Daly were adapting it he would call it "the charm of its coloring, which was perfectly harmon- Large and sweet, fine color. FAPONXANIS SPRINGS.) was that of Monsieur Alphonse. Mile. Clarence FIGS, stable of the future." In the luxurious waiting- made her rentree In this work, which was given for ious, and has as far as possible made It coarse and Extra fine, fresh Importation. BITTER WATERS, room gentlemen change their dark overcoats for a vulgar; before It had been spoiled not even Sir PRUNES, the benefit of M. Leroy, the stage-manager, and Joshua's tragic muse seemed to me so noble and surtout of light cream-colored cloth, knot a silk hand- „„„. „„ L Choice Imperial. . PULLNA, which attracted most of the habitues of the repre- Deautlfnl a representation of my aunt's beauty as NEW YORE; CIDER, kerchief about the neck, and replacing their silk sentations which, in the bright and cozy Lyceum tnat divine picture of Gainsborough's.—Mrs. Kem- „ _ Very superior. , HUNYADI JANOS. hats by soft felt ones, stand equipped for "the road." ole. in Atlantic Monthly for April. OAT MEAL, * Theater, were so highly esteemed. Yes, they were Fresh. Also offer all the leading Brands o Sometimes women are brought into the place to all there, even to our old friend with new loves—(of BUCKWHEAT, Choice New York. "wait for the wagon." The other day there sat bonnets)—who Bat enthroned in a loge, displaying a FRED said that " father hoped they wonld sift and BUTTER HAVANA AND KEY WEST CIGAXS there a personable person, who was briefly charac- sift everybody about him, and then they would find ravishing toilet of black lace and silk, out of defer- ont just how things stood." It is not improbable Extra fine gilt edge. terize;! as "wife of , the gambler." Here would MAPLE SYRUP, AT AGENTS' PRICES. ence doubtless to the Lenten season. The perform- tbat it may be necessary to sift "father," just to see MAPLE SUGAR, ance of Monsieur Alphonse was superb as regards how his "things stand." SILVER DRIPS, another delusion be dispelled by the rude hand of ALBERT BISCUIT, fact. The gambler's wife in the pages of fiction Mile. Clarence, very fine as to M. Veniat and Mme. SUGAR WAFERS, ARE THE SOLE PROPRIETORS Lormlanl, passably good as concerns M. Dalbert, and a heart-broken female, whose plain-stuff dress covers a » ™ Fresh Invoice. a little absurd on the part of Mile. Tholer, who, common disease—so common that ST. LOUIS FLOUR, a delicate, shrinking form, who spends the night In SBulling, spitting and blowing of the nose, meet us at FINE WHISKY, clever actress as she is, is altogether too grown-up every turn on the street. Yourfootsllps in these nasty HAVANA CIGARS, watching for the return of her lord from the gaming discharges on tbe sidewalk and in the public convey- OLD STAG WHISKY, table, and who kneels before him on his tardy en- for Adrlenne. M. Venlat's delineation of the weak, ance, and its disagreeable odor,' contaminating the MESS MACKERECLE,M,IA,?' 0THER" frivolous, unstable Octave, conld scarcely be sur- breath of the afflicted, renders them offensive to thel? 2,000 lbs. JAVA COFFEE, trance and begs "Robert" or "William," with There is the highest medical authority for Genuine old Government. WHOLESALE AND RETAIL. streaming eyes, to cease to lure victims to ruin and passed, and Mme. Lormiani gave a revelation of th e stating that jvith fully one half, if not two thirds, of French— character of Madame Guichard, filling every de- those afflicted with Consumption of the Lung«, the dis- death. The gambler's wife of reality, as attested by ease commences as Catarrh in the nose or lieafl th,. PEAS, HALL & HUME, . mand of the role, and really presenting a type of the to he MUSHROOMS, the daylight vision of Sunday, Is a pi ump, pretty and i «"-oa?and brachial lubeB- feb20-tfl brusque, plain-spoken, warm-hearted widow. But lastly to the lungs. How Important then to give early BEANS, 807 MARKET SPACE. well-fed female, who wears dainty high-heeled pr„n,mpt attention to a Catarrh I To cure this loath- SARDINES, boots, pale yellow gloves on a small hand, bites her to Clarence—for her acting of the great scene In the some disease correct the system by using Dr. Pierce's TRUFFLES. second act was ¡incomparably great—with what Golden Medical Discovery, whicl. tones it up, cleansed PATE DE FOIS GRAS, Important to Housekeepers. roseate (three dollars a box) lips alluringly with the blood and heals the diseased glands by a speoltte In- pearly teeth, (H— is the best dentist In New York J delicate art she could draw the transports and fluence upon them; and to assist, use Dr.Cage's Catarrh OLIVES, Remedy, with Dr. Pierce's Nasal Douclii. »his Is the FRUITS, and wears what maybe regarded as the uniform agonies of the maternal love which the guilty but reach th e ÄÄ eom ea frof m»PPerand back cavities where Our own Importation. for " fast" ladies—a black silk dress, a jannty round repentant Kaymonde must needs conceal, any one , , -' No danger from this treat- maktn ment and ftI s pleasant to use. Tbe two medicines, s Washington their resi- hat, diamond solitaires and a camel's hair shawl. can Imagine who has seen her in La Princesse wifh instrument, are sold by dealers in medicines. dence for the season are Invited to examine our estab- N.T.METZGER & BRO., lishment and way of doing business. By their rags jou shall know them, On, Sunday, Georges or as Camille Gauthier. She was indeed 417 Seventh street northwest, exquisite in her frenzy, in her remorse, in her re- SAVING LIVES ¡—The saßest and only reliable cure for We are constantly adding to our stock, both of For- although there is very little driving among the regu- tifleSxuriS production, different varieties of pentance. The charm of this actress cannot be es- feiÄl d Diphtheria,a Sore Throatand Lung^Bad lation, orthodox, fashionable set, the road is by no ;°r h ' Asthma, Pneumonia and Ca- timated by one sitting under her influence. It is ne- tarin, IS WISHART'S PINK TREE TAR CORDIAL a We guarantee everything sold by us to give satisfac- DEALERS IN FINE FAMILY GRO- means deserted. Governor Tilden—the eminent tion, and if not satisfactory, can be returned? cessary to compare, to discrlm.nate, to give one's self Samuel—led the caravan (socially considered) In a a vesti e of , Orders delivered to any part of Washington or George- CERIES. barouche which exposed him to the eager air and gave entirely up to the scene, to appreciate the true value Pulmonary disease? ^ « town twice a day. Any order left before 1 o'cloik de- of her powers. Her voice, at once soft and pene- livered the same day ; if left after i o'clock, delivered his nose a bloom quite gubernatorial. Not for Sam- twice ^rmwerenkfg' ° 8 deliTered at Mo>mt Pleasant uel, however, the rapt attention of the crowds who trating, exerts something like a fascination over you GE00EEIES. We deal in Choice Groceries only, and make Fine - f HoU3ekce ers to the fringe the roadside and form at certain places what after you have been accustomed to its modulations, Family Trade a specialty. Orders called for dally, oi folFowTng-namid ^oaT^ ° P fend, in contemplating her portrayal of emotion it is »jof'en during the week as our customers wish. Orders may really be regarded as so many "home NEW YORK STATE BUTTER, FINEST QUALITY impossible not to feel that she lives and suffers with f C Untry stretches." Not for that dignitary the " go it!" the ^REN(^ANI?^ERMAN ^oW ° ° - NEW YORK BUCKWHEAT, BEST GRADE. th£ character she portrays. "hi-yahs!" of the multitude. For others the ap- G. G. CORNWELL & SONS, MAPLE SYRUP, GOLDEN SYRUP AND SILVER preciative bravos, for others yells of encouragement. The several admirable artistes who have assumed DRIPS. In the parlors of the Monico a young lady in mourn- • . fine grocers. the role of Ekymonde in the adaptation have had to A FULL LINE OF TABLE LUXURIES. ing, accompanied by her " beau," begs her "papa" 1905 Pennsylvania Avenue. contend against the concession made to " prurient CHOW-CHOW, PICKLES, SAUCES, FRENCH OL- not to." carry on so." To tell the truth, "papa" prudery" In the adaptor having tried to cover up IVES, FRENCH PEAS, JELLIES, &C. has dined, and the excitement of a rapid dine has the connection of the heroine and Monsieur Al- LONDON LAYER RAISINS IN QUARTERS, HALVES done him no good, despite his singing confidentially HAEBAN BROS. phonse by a " secret marriage." Nothing could be AND WHOLE BOXES; NEW LAYER FIGS, to Tiimself, the while contemplating an o'er-fnll weajser than this, for there would seem, In that case, HAVANA ORANGES, BANANAS, glass of Veuve Clicquot: FINE no excuse whatever for her suffering and conceal- GROCERIES, AC., Ac. "It will do thee no harm, ment ; no nobility In the magnanimous pardon of her It will do thee no harm," husband. "Why does she suffer ? Why should he not] CANNED GOODS: Northwest Corner Fifteenth and I Sts. CALIFORNIA BARTLETT PEARS, APRICOTS, Says the ragman to the bagman, pardon her?" is asked at once. Thfadap tation PINE APPLES, PEACHES, MARROWFAT "It will do thee no harm." however, had the Inestimable benefit of the talents' PEAS, &C.[ LIMA BEANS, TOMATOES. After contemplating this Sunday outrage, perceiv- of Bijou Heron, whose Adrlenne has remained, since TABLE LUXURIES, EXTRA SUGAR CURED HAM, IN TWO POUND ing the presence of young ladies in accosting whom her début in the role, a model characterization It FLOUR: TINS, READY FOR TABLE USE. gentlemen did not remove their Jiat, and " standing seems very probable that in case the French com- We would call the attention to lovers of Good Bread WINES, LIQUORS BEEF TONGUE, TWO POUND TINS, READY FOR to our Fine Flour (OUR OWN BRAND ) which we gguar - around " with a crowd of men who ought never to pany repeat Monsieur Alphonse during their season TABLE USE. antee has no superior in this market. have been trusted to drive home, Is It any wonder at the Lyceum Theater in May, Bijou Heron will COMPRESSED CORN BEEF, TWO POUND TINS • that we suddenly repented and—and—went back appear with them. She is thorougly proficient In AND OSCARS. • POTTED HAM, TURKEY, CHICKEN AND ' "WINES : just as fast as we could ? the French language. TONGUE, (RICHARDSON & ROBBINS.) SHERRY, PORT, MADEIRA ANGELICA, CA- Twins, Mr. A. C. Wheeler's (Nym Crinkle's) new E. R. DURKEE'S SALAD DRESSING TAWBA, Ac. Chance took me, the other day, to the French FINEST ITALIAN AND FRENCH OLIVE OIL. „-^e would especially call attention to our fine TABLE play, will be produced at Wallack's Theater about family hotel on Lexington avenue, where Matilda bHERRIES, which for price and quality cannot be sur- the end of next week, although the author is said to Spring Leaf Japan Tea, ITALIAN MACARONI AND VERMICELLI. passed. Heron and her daughter reside, and a conversation PICKLED OYSTERS. be by no means sanguine that it can be ready by a with the famous original of Camille so Impressed me FRESH GUMBO FOR SOUP. week from Saturday. He is so convinced of this that Very Fine, at 50 cts. pr. pound. LIQUORS: thit I need make no excuses for revealing some- A VENA, OR OATEN GRITS, SUPERIOR TO OAT he is said to have several bets on the matter, and FINE OLD WHISKIES, thing of its purport. Matilda Heron has now sev- MEAL, EITHER FOREIGN OR DOMESTIC. may be, therefore, considered rather more anxious eral pupils, and their Instruction and the guardian- Rec_ded very lilglily either for Medical or Social than otherwise that the premiere, about which so ship of her daughter have succeeded In making her Agents for Elaine Oil, in Cans and Bar- much has been said, should not tak» place until a a more contented woman than she was for many C. C. BRYAN. FINE CIGARS. few nights later than is now Intended. However nov28-smos5 years. As she appeared the other day she impressed rels, 150 Degrees Fire Test, Non- We solicit an examination before purchasing. this may be, meeting Mr. Wheeler at Wallack's the me as carrying into her private life something of the Explosive. other night, I thought I would interview him on the strength and vehemence that distinguished her BRYAN &, BRO. spot. He is not an easy man to interview, for, as you efforts on the stage. Her absolute earnestness pre- N. T. METZGER & BRO., will see, he answers questions by asking them, and vents one, however, from feeling while in her pres- ALKETHERPTAAND RACHAHQUT 41T SEVENTH STREET NORTHWEST, altogether leaves the impresslon.on your mind when ence that there is any exaggeration in her manner. TWO VERY SUPERIOR nov!4-ly5 Fine Family Groceries. you get,through that somehow you have been Inter- I defy any one to listen to Matilda Heron without J. B, BRYAN & BRO., viewed yourself. "How about your comedy?" I being moved by what she says, and feeling for her PREPARATIONS OF COCOA, asked. "What do I know aboutlt?" he replied, a profound sympathy. She has been for six months Opposite Metropolitan HoteL COTTAGE MARKET. " It has been out of my hands for six months." confined to the house with a broken leg, and she has Especially recommended for Dyspeptics and Invalids " But I believe it is to be produced immediately ?" BUTTER, BUCKWHEAT. Ac. had much to contend against in various ways'. Choice New York Butter. s a substitute for Tea or Coffee. "Is it?" " Why can't I act the death ecene ip Camille ?" she Choice New York Buckwheat. ''Isn't it?" Moller's Diamond Syrup. For sale by 1 Established in 1862. said. "Not because I am too oldj'one cannot be Vermont Maple Svrup. "How can I tell? I've got nothing to do with the too old to play Camille when one has once known Cape Cod Cranberries. J. B. BRYAN & BRO., ?ure Currant and Quince Jelly put up under our on brats now. I bore them, I tell you, six months ago. how to act it. Sothern has told me that he would su nov7-6mo8 608 PENN'A AVENUE. The proprietors of the COTTAGE MARKET deilre Why don't you go to the wet nurse ?" to announce that tliey have now on hand and are DAILY come from any part of the world to act Armand to B dy RECEIVING a fall assortment of the " O, well, you're not ashamed of. your maternity, nffes ™", Peaches and a general assortment • my Camille again. The original cast would draw, of New Goodsjust received and for sale by are you?" " Well, as to that, no. I believe—I trust J. B. BRYAN & BRO., JOHN R. KELLEY, FINEST GOODS IN THEIR LINE. for just once, would it not ? No, it is because I am MEATS AND VEGETABLES, • they are legitimate." (And he drew himself up with nov7-3mos 668 Pennsylvania avenue. Dealer in POULTRY AND GAME, too fat—polite people might say 'too fleshy.' " FISH AND TERRAPIN, a great deal of motherly pride.;) QLD RYE WHISKY, $1 PER BOTTLE. First-class BEEF, LAMB, VEAL, MUTTON, lie, " Aren'f you afraid that your severity as a critic It is not of herself that Matilda Heron speaks BEEF TENDERLOIN STEK8' will bring upon the work the sharp pens of all the CORNED BEEF A SPECIALTY. most', however, bnt of her daughter, to whom she ' , CHOICE OLD SHERRY, THE FINEST FR»™ B B Si fellows you have assailed ?" is devoted. "And yet," she says, "I am no stage- Stalls 628. 629 and 63» Center Market, Ninth-street Also, one thousand bushels of the finest " I trust so. If the youngsters can't stand sharp JAMAICA RUM, „Wntf; and 2n6 and 208 Northern Liberty Masket. EARLY ROSE POTATOES mother. I would rather see the devil with seven- CIlMarketing delivered free of charge to all parts bf the troJn. New York, and one hundred barrels pens they are unworthy of their stock and onght to teen horns, a hundred hoofs aod a thousand tails, y* linvH-tt best APPLES, (assorted varieties.) be strangled the first night." SCOTCH WHisinr, than the regulation stage-mother-peeping and peer- "What is the nature of thj comedy?! i'Human ing behind the scenes. They ought all to be strapped PURE APPLE CIDER, nature mainly. I thought it beet not to use JAMES G. FOWLER, THE PUBLIC ARE INVITED TO CALL. up in the green-room until the performance is And all oilier Wines and Liquors, together with fine other." 3 any finished." Then Matilda Heron said to me sadly • Groceries, at "Whatlsits character ?'J "It hasn't got any at "You know that Mr. Daly lias discharged Bijou? present; wait until after the first night." Yes. the dear child has been discharged. He wanted WALTER B. BOWERS', GROCER. GEO. HUNTLEY & CO,, '«O, pshaw! What is Its peculiarity ?" "Well,It me to sign a contract giving him her ie yi:es for I E. COR. TUIBTEISIH AXD F STS. oel7-6mos 818 Fourteenth street.

I 7 THE CAPITAL.—APJUIL 2, 1876.

A Ballad of the Belkiiappers. HOTELS AND BESTAÏÏEANTS. CHRONICLES OP CONGRESS. most Important measure was fixing the salary of TO TRAVELERS. senators at $4,500.- Other propositions were dis- [From the Mahoning News.] cussei, but none acted upon. Gentleman G-eorge was a Greenbacker bold, SENATE, Monday, March Mr. Edmonds pre- And his words were sweet as honey, ALTIMOBE AJSTD OHIO RAILROAD. C. C. WILLARD, sented the remonstrance of.çitizens of Washington As he traveled about the country, and told SEIATB, Thursday.—Mr. Burnside reported from CHARGB E OF TIME, February 13,1876.-6:00 a. m. against railroads running through public grounds. the (Dmmittee on Commerce against promoting the The people they wanted more money. Our people are only a drop in the bucket; we can efficilncy of the light-house service, which is a high And Belknap, he was a warrior brave, LEAVE WASHINGTON: His face was genial and sunny, but protest and thus express the sentiments of the comviment to the Pope of the Smithsonian r who 5:00 a. m., Baltimore and Way Stations. EBB1TT HOUSE, millions who are beginning to take such a lively in. And the only thing that trouble gave 7:00 a. m., Baltimore, Annapolis and Way Stations. contributes a few rays to that bureau. When the Was his serious need of more money. 7:30 a. m., Baltimore Express. Daily. Breakfast at terest in the perfection of the capital ; but as Con- Dotjlight is adopted we can supplement fog-horns Relay. gress ha>s exclusive control over this subject it should witnlts valuable contributions. Mistress Belknap was a lady fair, 8:00 a.m., New York Express. On Sunday only to Baltimore. Stopping at Way Stations. WASHINGTON, D O. of its own motion take notice of and action on any With lips as sweet as honey, MI. Sherman called up the bill to amend the laws But her laces rich and diamonds rare 8:45 a. m., Cincinnati. St. Louis; Pittsburg Express. existing obstacle to the uniform beauty of the pub- Dally. relaing to legal tender of silver coin. It was dis- Made a terrible need;of more money. 8.160 a. m., Baltimore and Way Stations. 9:35 a. m. on IMPERIAL HOTEL; lic grounds. ' cus/ed, and Mr. Jones contributed voice to the dé- Sunday, stopping at Relay only. Mr. Morton called up his first tfard for th'e Presi- bat—-a voice of late so silent in the Senate cham- Now, Gentleman George was a very nice man, 8:50 a. m., Point of Rocks and Way Stations. Democracy's favorite sonny, 10:15 a. m:., Baltimore Unlimited Express. No stops. dency, i. e., the bill to investigate Mississippi elec- berand so much engaged in the nursery. And nobody dreamed he would lay a plan 12:15 p. m., Baltimore, and Way Stations. tions. To go for the people's money. 1:30 p. m., New York and Norfolk Express. Dally WASHINGTON, D. C. Ir. Boutwell, the most forcible Feeble of the Sen- Parlor cars. On Sunday, to Baltimore only, stopping Mr. Christiar.cv offered a short amend ment, which ati, developed a tendency to enlist under the banner at Way Stations. • But Georgie, he, Mrs. Belknap, she, he supplemented by a long speech. of! Mr. Morton and become a vessel of abuse. He 3:30 p. m., Baltimore, .Frederick and Way Stations, With lips as sweet as honey; (via Main Stem.J The Senate next proceeded to the consideration of is demagogish and rather rude to Senator Bay- And warrior Belknap, he—all three, 4:25 p. m.. Point of Rocks, Frederick, Winchester and J. S. PIERCE, Proprietor. the consular appropriation bill, the committee hav- aid, who responded in language that is plain and Agreed that they wanted more money. Way Station^ 4:30 p. m., Baltimore Express, stopping at Laurel. ing. disagreed to the reductions proposed by the parliamentary, but none the less severe in substance SANDERSON'S »cause of their cautiousness in utterance : George thought heVas cunning and wide-awake, 4:45 p. m., Baltimore, Annapolis, and Way Stations. House, and so the Senate passed an amendment Too sly an old fox for trapping, Daily. ' J" The senator has suggested that in some way I 5:30 p. m., Chicago and Columbus Express. Daily. CONGRESSIONAL, substituting $17,670 as the salary of minister to have been a party t« some act or deed unfaithful to But, alas ! he has made a fatal mistake, Connects for Hagerstown and Winchester. The people have caught him Belknapping. Great Britain, France, Germany and Russia, fixed tte integrity of the Government of this country. I 6:00 p. m., Baltiuaore Express. Cor. New Jersey Ave. and B St. S. E. yill simply say that every drop of blood in ray body 6:05 p. m., Baltimore and Way Stations. by the House at $14,036. Parisians Aping* Us. 8:00 p. m., Baltimore and Wav Stations. Dally. Only first-class hotel on Capitol Hill, and by far the fomes from men and women who, since this Gov- «00 p. m., Cincinnati, Louisville, St. Louis and Pitts- most eonveniently located for persons having business HOUSE.—The usual number of bills burdened the ernment was established, never harbored a thought [From the Chicago Times.] burg Express. Daily. All Way Stations on Ohio and with Congress. morning hour. It did an acfunfaithful or unpatriotic. No man can The Parisians are appalled at the rapid spread of Chicago Divisions. Does not connect for Pittsburg on Thoroughly first-class in cuisine, rooms and service. assert the contrary. The senator dare not do so. Sunday. no28-tf2 WM. SANDERSON, Proprleton. Mr. Payne again made an effort to suspend the "American institutions" in their midst. Noting the 9:25 p.m..New Yoik Express. Sleeping Cars to New fee might attempt it by innuendo, by classifying me universal tendency, the Charivari, in a recent num- York. Daily. ... , . rules and pass his bill providing for the gradual re- [with those whom he terms the enemies of the coun- ber, exclaims : 9:25 p. m., Baltimore, Bladensburg, Beltsville, Laurel, sumption of specie payment. On a call this gentle- try ; but he knows as well as I that the man who ' We are Americanizing ourselves. Annapolis Junction. Dally. UNION HOTEL, says 1 ever did an act or uttered a word unfaithful ' We have already the républic, which is a good LEAVE CAMDEN STATION, BALTIMORE, FOR man was again placed in the vocative by a vote of enough beginning. WASHINGTON: GEORGETOWN, D. C. to the integrity of my country's Government has y. SHINN Proprietor yeas 81, nays 156, lied in his throat." " We have American circus. 4M5, 5:15, 6:00, 7:30, 8:45 a. m.; 12:30,4:10, 5:00, 6:20, 6:35, We have American street railways. 10:10 p. m., daily, except tha$$.2:so p. m. train leaves at This hotel Is conveniently located, being situatedxm Mr. Randall moved to suspend the rules and adopt 1:30 p. m. on Suuday. the line of the Washington and Georgetown City P^s- HOUSE.—Mr. Knott, chairman of the'Committee Before six months, three grand theaters will be senger Railroad« the cars of which, from the Railroad a motion to have evening sessions on Tuesday, Wed- plaving American pieces. 6:50, 9:20, 10:30 a. m.; 3:15, 3:30, 9:15 p. m., daily, except on the Judiciary, presented the long-expected arti- Sunday. _ ana Steamer Depots, pass the door every two or three nesday and Thursday of this week, to be devoted to! Bars on the American plan have been estab- No connection on Sunday for Hagerstown, Frederick, minutes. The guests of this House can reach any òf thei consideration of the legislative and judiciary] cles of impeachment against General Belknap. They lished all over Paris. Annapolis, Staunton, or Valley Branch, nor for New the Public Buildings of the National Capital, or aray consist oi five articles, and tell the story in not quite The American style of stealing is being largely York and Philadelphia at 8 a. m. and 1:30 p. m. place of amusement, &c., by a pleasant ride of a few appropriation bill. The motion was agreed to. introduced. For further information apply at the Baltimore and minutes. The House next went into committee on the bill; so interesting a manner as it was first told by the Presently the new world will have nothing left Ohio ticket offices, Washington Station, and 485 Pennsyl- Board per day, $2. By the month at reduced rates* newspaper correspondents. The document closes to excite our envy. vania avenue, where orders will be taken for baggage to • sep26-tf8) providing for the deficiency in the engraving and, be checked and received at any point in the city. with a saving ^clause, reserving the right in the " We suppose that before long American customs .THOS. R. SHARP, printing bureau. Several amendments were offered,! .. ill be introduced altogether in France, and that we House to present any further charges which time Master of Transportation. and the House adjourned with the understanding shall see our young ladies jumpiag into crowded L. M. COLE, General Ticket Agent. National Saloon. that they are to be debated under the five minute^ and investigation may develop. omnibuses and seating themselves on the knees of GEO. S. KOONTZ, General Aarent. feb 1-ti I rule. A resolution appointing seven managers to eon- the.passengers." Not quite so bad as that, we hope. It is only very GREAT IK*. X1»«: «J jury had foutid an indictment against HalletKil- the inalienable right, and after the introduction of Liquors. my9-ly8 bourh, the récusant; witness in the real estate pool a bill to suspend the sale of our old jail—which we For Annapolis, 6:00 a. m. and 4:50 p. m., except Sunday. 14 North' Charles St., Corner Fayette St., ALEXANDRIA AND FREDERICKSBURG RAIL- investigation, on five counts, and the other from Mr. regret to say was passed—the Mississippi question WAY AND ALEXANDRIA AND WASHINGTON MEE0HANT TAILOEING, ET0. Thompson, the sergeant-at-arms of the House, in- was taken up, and the colored senator from that RAILROAD. forming the House that the United States marshal State made a very conservative and sensible speech. For Alexandria, 6, 7, 8, 9,10,11 a. m.; 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 and for the District of Columbia had come to him andre- When he had finished Mr. Morton and Mr. Conk- IMPORTERS Or 11:38 p. m. On Sunday at 8 a. m., l, 6, and 11:38 p. m. SCHECK & HEIL* que'sted that Hallet Kilbourn be given into his cus- ling, as rival candidates, made haste to congratulate For tbe South, via Richmond, 11:38 p. m. daily, except Sunday, and via Lynchburg, 7 a. m. and 11:38 p. m. tody, which he (Thompson) ¡had refused to do, and Ihim. Mr. M. has the advantage as to head and Mr. CHAMPAGNE. daily, except Sunday. Merchant Tailors, asked for further instructions from the House. C. as to legs. -The latter, therefore, ran better in the Trains leave Alexandria for Washington, 6, 7, 8, 9,10. Sherry, Madeira and Port Wine. Mr. New defended the position of the House, and contest to-day, as we think he will next November. 11 a. m., 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7 p. m. On Sunday at 6 and 10 ©ED COGNAC BRANDT. a. m., 5 and 7 p. m. CORNER SIXTH MD II STREETS NORTHWEST, argued strongly in behalf of the power to judge of Mr. Key made a conciliatory, dispassionate and Tickets, information, Sleeping and Parlor Car accom- Will open April l, one of the finest assortments of goods-., and punish for contempt as inherent in that and patriotic speech, a speech that Mr. Hill of Georgia modations can be procured at the offices.: Northeast ever opened in this city. nov28-l every other legislative body. might well take for a model and imitate hereafter to corner Thirteenth street and Pennsylvania avenue, HAVANA CIGARS, northeast corntr Sixth street and Pennsylvania ave- I). JONES, Mr. Kasson, who held and expressed entirely dif. the good of his country and the increase of his own nue, and at the Depot, where orders can be left for the ferent views in the Irwin case, replied to him in a importance in national affairs. checking of Baggage to destination from Hotels and Selected by our resident Agen- in Havana and received 9XevcI*»nL"t Xntloj few feeble and inconsistent remarks. The amendment of Mr. Christiancy, referring the Residences. 1 matter to a special committee of five, was adopted weekly per steamer. Mr. Glover, chairman of the committee on the rea and so this matter is set at rest for the present. FRANK THOMSON, D. M. BOYD, JR., SUCCESSOR TO N. PÜGH 4 SON. estate pool, offered a resolution ordering the ser. Geril Manager, GenH Passenger Agent, HOUSE.—Mr. Cox presented a memorial from some Fine Teas and Choice Groceries. FINE SHIRTS A SPECIALTY. geant-at-arms to retain the custody of Kilbourn. women asking for female suffrage in the District. IRGINIA MIDLAND RAILROAD. Mr. Hurl burt offered a substitute,directing Ijis sur. The bill appropriating $165,000 for the printing bu- PICKLES, SAUCES, CONDIMENTS AND FUIiL AS- V 165 BRIDGE STREET, render. A vote on the substitute resulted i|i, yeas reau was passed. SORTMENT OF TABLE LUXURIES. DOUBLE DAILY TEAINS. nov21-3 GEORGETOWN! 32, nays 192. This decisive action on the part of the The House suspended the salé of the old jail. We! suppose it will be turned into a police court. We Sole Agents in the United States for the celebrated JUNE 17 J1875. House indicates that it intends to preserve the claims! "GRAND YIN D'ANGLETERRE" CHAMPAGNE, and WILLIAM HART, always thought that court would go to jail. proprietors of the celebrated "CLUBHOUSE" PtfRE it has always maintained. The majority proves that Mr. Green Adams, chief clerk of the House said, RYE WHISKY. noi21-l Leave Washington 8 a. m.; 7 p. m. Arrive at Lynch- the conclusion is not one of party, but of principle.! by communication through the Speaker, that he did burg 4:50 p. HI.; 4:50 a. m. Arrive at Danville 10:10 p. Merchant Tailor not sell waste paper as sixth auditor and appropriate m.; 11:25 a. m. So Mr. Kilbourn must now decide between the jail the money to his own use. AMERICAN WATCHES, Leaves Danville 6:30 a. m.; 2:55 p. m. Arrive in "Wash- ington 7:38 p. m.: 6:33 a. m. Close connections with 619 NINTH STREET 'NORTHWEST. and immortality. Chesapeake and Ohio, twice dally, to all the West. Mr. Fernando Wood was attending to his dutiesj FINE SWISS WATCHES, TWICE DAILY at Lynchburg to West and South- Newspapers. west. A large and select line of Imported Goods, which will to day, having been absent for some time on account be made to order promptly In the latest styles, as I have We copy the following pleasent newspaper gossip TWICE DAILy at Danville to and from the South of illness. DIAMONDS, JEWELRY, and Southwest. tbe best cutter in the city. nov21-tfJ from the New York correspondence of the Rochester TWICE DAILY at Washington to and from North SENATE, Wednesday.—The Good Templars ot Democrat: and West. MISCELLANEOUS. Maryland asked, through Mr. Dennis, for the aboli- SILVER AND SILVER-PLATED WARE; CLOCKS, At present every city in the Union issues daily MANASSAS LINE. tion of liquor traffic. Why will ye kick against the BRONZES, FANCY GOODS, OPERA GLASSES, papers. Even little Delaware has three, while the UMBRELLAS, HANDSOME DRESDEN Leave Washington dally, except Sunday, at—p. m pricks, good people ? still more petite Rhode Island has six. Arkansas and CHINAS, FIGURES AND VASES, Arrive at Strasburg 9:10 p. m. Leave Strasburg 4 a. m. Many other equally uninteresting proceedings oc- Oregon each has four, while California has thirty- Arrive at Washington 0:30 a. m. six. This indicates the fact that the emigrants to "WORCESTER CHINAS, BISQUE FIGURES, To Warrenton close connections by. a. m. train. cupied this august body until the consnlarand diplo- that country embrace some of the most intelligent Sleebers through on a. m. train between Baltimore And other articles suitable for Holiday Presents. and New Orleans. matic bill was discussed. Mr. Wallace favored the of the national population. Massachusetts has Sleepers through on p. m. train between Baltimore economical provisions of the House. The bill was twenty-six, being only six more than Texas, a fact Imported direct and at low prices. and Lyncbburg. which speaks well for the latter. Pennsylvania has Buy tickets at 60S and 485 Fennsylvynla avenue, and fiBsiSiSÄ/ í passed with the Senate amendments. When it gets seventy-four, while our own state can show the at depots of Baltimore and Potomac Railroad. back to the House that body won't recognize its own proud number of ninety-eight. There are in all 687 CANFIELD, BRO. & CO., See H. L. PEYTON, at 603 Pennsylvania avenue. . offspring. dailies issued in the United States and territories, G. J. FOREACRE. General Manager. Also 5,554 weeklies. Well may one exclaim what a nov2l-6mos5 BALTIMORE, MD. J. M. BRO ADDS, General Ticket Agent. wlfiiUSfS&i Mr. Morton, the Monsieur Tonson of the Senate^ profession has journalism become! octl7-ly3 got on his new hobby, the Mississippi election frauds, MISCELLANIES. MILLION'S LINES i and this subject was made the unfinished business! There are 310 German newspapers issued in this A MERICAN LINE MAIL STEAMSHIPS IRVING READING ROOMS AND country, fifty-eight of which are published in Penn- " Unfinished business" is a good name for the late] sylvania and fifty in this State. The French tongue 163 Baltimore street,Baltimore. «NLT I.I*F. civil war in the hands of Mr. M. is maintained in twenty-eight papers, of which five CAKBTIN» THE AMERICAN FLAG. CIRCULATING LIBRARY, are in this city and more than twice as many in ESTABLISHED FOU THE SALE OF HOUSE.—Mr. Banks secured three dollars per diem | Louisiana. Scandinavian is a big word and the ¡Sailing every THURSDAY from PHILADELPHIA for NO. 1321 F STREET NORTHWEST, language it signifies is a very strange one to us na- QUEENSTOWN AND L1YEPROOL. to witnesses. This large and suffering body of FURE LINENS AND HOUSEHOLD DRY GOODS. WASHINGTON, D. C. tives, but it has its place in journalism to the extent Cabin, intermediate and steerage accommodations American citizens doubtless rejoice in the anticipa-j of nineteen papers, two of which are in this city, It "would repay the residents of "Washington to visit New Books and Periodicals received as soon as pnb tion of three honest dollars a day. while eight are m Illinois. There are seventeen us when In Baltimore. unsurpassed. llshed. nov28-lyl Mr. Burchard reported a bill providing for pay- Spanish newspapers in this country, seven of which Rates as low as by any other First-Class Line. are in this city. The importance of the Dutch popu- Bargains in Linen Napkins, Towels, Table Linens, PETER WRIGHT & SONS, DANIEL LOTJ6HRAN, ment of Alabama claims court's awards. lation of Michigan is shown by the fact that five Blankets, Comfortables, Quilts, Handkerchiefs, Shirt General Agents, Philadelphia. Mr. Banning, from the Committee on Military] newspapers are there published in that tongue, Bosoms, Fronting Linens, Ladies' and Gent's Collaru SHERMAN & CO., (Bankers,) 1420 F street, Washing- JOBBER OF Affairs, reported a bill to regulate the pay and al- while New York has only one. While this city was and Cuffs, Gent's Collars $1.50 per dozen, (alt linen.) ton, D. C. au23-lv a Dutch settlement it had no Dutch paper; how curi- jan9-3mos lowances of officers of the army. He proceeded to[ ous it is to observe that at this late day it should ' CIGARS AND TOBACCO, address the House in explanation and advocacy of make up the deficiency. Other languages are rep MISCELLANEOUS. the bill, which he said would effect an annual saving resented in the journalism of America, and even the LELAND'S HOTELS 3EN No. 1408 Pennsylvania Aventi e, Oppnlt« "heathen Chinee" has an organ publish in San AMERICA. WUlard's HoM. of over half a million dollars. The reductions, he Francisco. The Cherokee tribe of Indians also has KENTUCKY STATE LOTTERY said, were made in accordance with the advice of a small paper issued in its peculiar tongue. There mbl9-ly General Sheridan, who said to the committee, *' Cut is a paper in this city devoted to the Jewish interest; DRAWS LAST SATTJBDAY OF EACH MONTH. but this is issued in English instead of the .original off at the head, and not at the foot." The bill was a $300,000 in cash distributed. • language of the Hebrew. Grand Capital Gift, $50,000. cutting down of the pay of general officers. It POWER OP THE PRESS. Tickets, $10; halves, $5 ; quarters, $2.50. pledged the general $10,000 a year; the lieutenant It is a curious and instructive fact that the press from its very earlist day has been feared by public ROYAL HAVANA LOTTERY general $8,000; major generals $6,000, and brigadier rulers. This is the very best proof of its power. The DRAWS EVERY FIFTEEN DAYS. generals $5,000, and in these grades alone made an first American newspaper was issued in Boston on $540,000 4N CASH GIVEN AWAY. annual reduction of $60,000. The only other reduc the 25th of September, 1690. The title was " Public Tickets, $20; halves, $10; quarters, $5; tenths, $2. occurrences, both foreign and domestic." Only one tion of officers' pay was a reduction of that of second number was issued, for the colonial authorities at Send for circulars and address all orders to lieutenants for the first four years of their service,and once suppressed it. The sole copy of this sheet in THOS. H. HATS A CO.. ROOM 46 LE DROIT BÜILDIKG. that reduction was regarded as proper by old army existence is said to be in London. In 1722, Franklin's febl3-tfl • 697 Broadway, New York. jy25-iy8 officers. paper, the Courant, came under the government in terdict. From that time to the present the press has » JAMES LOCKIIEAD, Without further debate the bill was passed—yeas been the master of those who ruled the destinies of 141, nays 61. nations. One of the most striking illustrations of DELIVERED TO ALL PARTS OF THE CITY AT this was given in Junius, whose letter to the king is THE SAME RATE. Plnmbiog, Gas and Steam Fitting, Mr. Banning and his committee have labored as- the most tremendous Invective ever leveled by the New schedule—Full load of 40 bushels for $3.00. 415 TENTH STREET N. W., siduously and conscientiously on this matter, and press at a crowned head. Even Napoleon was [Smaller loads, 6 cents per bushel; cartage, 60 cents.] we believe that time will show the wisdom and pro- afraid of British newspapars, and during the brief LELAND'S EUTAW HOUSE, APPLY TO (Adjoining Gas Office,) peace which followed the treaty of Amiens, he priety of their measures. caused a prosecution to be brought against a London BALTIMORE. Office of Washington Gaslight Company, WASHINGTON, D, C. Mr. Kasson is not much of a wit, and is develop- journal for libel. This case made a great excite- HEADQUARTERS ARMY AND NAVY. S3 and $4 per day. W. W. LELAND. 413 Tenth street northwest, 711 First street northwest, Jobbing and 'orders by mall promptly attended to. ing into something of a demagogue. We are sorry ment at the time, and the editor beat the greatest or to 110 Bridfre street. Georgetown. Estimates furnished. nov21-2 soldier of the age. During the Crimean war Queen STUBTEVAMX HOUSE, Broadway for this, for he wears a clean shirt and uses good "Victoria was making a visit to Balmoral of a more and Twenty-ninth st.. New York. 1833. ESTABLISHED 1838 CHEAP STATIONERY. grammar, which is not the case with every member than usual length, and the London Times rebuked LEWIS & GEO. S. LELAND. from the West. But to return to our mutton—the her majestv for this unsuitable absence at a time of 0£LEVAN HOUSE. Albany, N. Y. JOHN HcDERMOTT A BROS., national calamity. The Queen accepted the reproof CHAS. E. LAXAND 4 CO. following interchange of civilities occurred between and returned as soon as possible to Windsor. LKLAND HOUSE, Springfield. Ill, COACH MAKERS AND CARRIAGE DEALER», Box Paper from 10 to 50 cts. this gentleman and General Banning, and the re- THE LIBEL • HORACE S. LELAND & CO. NO. 810 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE, buke to the man of war in time of peace, and man of The thrilling pamphlets which Tom Paine issued OCEAN HOTEL, Long Branch. Near Third street, BOOKS AND TOYS FOR CHILDREN. during the revolution weye the best journalism of peace in time of war, was as well deserve'd as it (LELAND'S.) Open from June to Oet. WASHINGTON, D. C. STATIONERY OF EVERY VARIETY. that day, when the leading presses were in the hands CLARENDON HOTEL, Saratoga. Carriages and Harness received on Storage and Sold was administered : of the enemy. After the revolution the power of Open from June to October. on Commission. Carrlaees Repaired. E. Q. GTJNS0N & CO., the press was shown by the fact that Hamilton em- Mr. Kasson moved to amend the title of thé bill so ployed it to induce the people to accept our present CHAS. E. LELAND. decl9-8 1107 F street, near Eleventh. that it would read, " A bill i.o punish the army of constitution. His best writings were published as PALACE HOTEL» San Francisco. 35 CENTS PER POUND the United States for the gallant services rendered WARREN LELAND, Proprietor. FOB newspaper articles. Another illustration of the The above Hotels, kept by the LELANDS, have a by it in preserving the Union." power of journalism was furnished by the war world wide reputation as the BBST HOTELS IN AMEBICA. PURE FRENCH CANDIES. Mr. Banning. I move to refer that motion to the which J. Fennimore Cooper made on the press by aplX-tfl Different langutwes spoken. WHITMAN'S BEST CREAM BON-BONS AND CHOC- gentleman from Iowa (Mr. Kasson) for the gallant his libel suits. He won a few cases, but he lost his OLATES. services rendered him during the war. reputation as an author, the sale of his novels was TAFFY. WIMBLEDON Mr. Kasson. I will be glad to take it with me and stopped, and he was compelled to feel the penalty of CHOCOLATE, VANILIA AND COCOANUT CARA- am ready to report on it immediately. his folly in contending with so vast a power. Speak THE CARROLLTON MELS, FRESH DAILY. Long Range Breech Loading Mr. Banning. You are more ready to report now ing of libels,.the first that ever occurred in this coun- Also, every variety of FANCY CAKES, at Practice Pistol & Targets. than you were to report for carrying a knapsack try was in this city in 1785. It was regarded by the BALTIMORE, LIGHT AND GERMAN STS., T. JARVIS', during the war. You could pot be found then. people as an attack on the freedom of the press, and nov7-6mos2 436 Ninth (rtroet Si. W. Carries a }£ inch ball with accu- [Laughter.] . the jury acquitted Zenger, the editor of the Weekly racy fifty ieet, without powder or w The motion to'amend the title was rejected—yeas Journal, who had thus been prosecuted. Zenger LL KINDS OF GENTLEMEN'S CAST OFF WEAR- percussion. Brass barrel, hair trigger. For safe 62, nays 151. deserves a statue for his nerve. In all conflicts with BALTIMORE. A by dealers. By mail, free for 75 cents, with per- other powers the press has thus far came out victo- lag apparel can be sold to the very best advantage manent ammunition for target practice indoors, The bill was amended to take effect July 1,1S76. rious. It is also to be observed that all gr eat writers R. B. COLEMAN. Proprietor. by addressing or calling on JUSTH, «19 D street, be- and for sporting out of doors. The House went into evening session, pursuant to have to a greater or less degree contributed to the nov80-lyl tween Sixth and Seventh northwest. Notes by mall promptly attended to.~Cash paid. mar21-tf* Mr. Randall's resolution, at 7:80. After preliminary press, and in most instances without pay, consider- , AGENTS WANTËD. ing the use of public columns a suitable compensa- All) a day at home.- Agents wanted. Outfit and A. A, GRABAH, 67 Liberty Street, New Yoris. business the House went into Committee of the tion for their articles. , $14 terms free. TRUE & CO., Augusta, Maine. $5 to $20I p6freer da. STIKSOy at b0W m&- Co.' 5?, PortlandmPlei. 7?, Mainer,th . 4 Whole on the legislative appropriation bill. The •epA-lyA HPHyl mjuM-tfl THE CAPITAL.-;-APRIL 2, 1876.

THE TREASURY PRINTING BUREAU SUFFERERS. MEDICAL, Various meetings have been held during the past THE CAPITAL. Entered according to act of Congres», by the National Art Compta, of Cincinnati, 0., In the year 1876, in th» office of few weeks for theielief of the wretched condition Librarian of Congrtn, at Washington. of the poor employés of McOartee's division, who SUNDAÍ MOENING, - - - APKIL 2,1876. were thrown out of work by failure of the appro A PREMIUM WORTH $30 IN GOLD. priatlon, and, being for the most part women with families or parents dependent upon them for sup BECOKD OF THE WEEK. port, are in a sad state of poverty. The clerks of the Patent Office have contributed $300, many of our MAKCH, MABCH, MARCH ¡—March has marched prominent business men have assisted in the work, away!' IMPORTANT MEl SUBSCRIBERS. the Paymaster General's office turned up $106.25 for YESTERDAY was the first of April, and the en. their benefit, and President Grant panned out $100 thusiastic hoodlum enjoyed himself with taking in as a conscience fund contribution. The Theater and'doing for the innocent and guileless. Comique gave a benefit, its employés purchasing $59 worth of tickets alone ; and a pleasant satire Grand Premium Gift MR. DAVID HAQERTY, a convert to the Phila- is on christian charity that this wicked but amusing delphia evangelists, has etherealized the corner of and indispensable variety theater contributed as Of the Finest and Largest Engraving ever offered, given to each and Seventh and £ streets, and* continues his ethereall- much as all the churches combined. John Thomas, every Subscriber to this Pajer. A grand opportunity. Kead ! aation. the ford, has loaned the National Calamity to the Joe Jefferson Club for an entertainment, and Harry THE IRVING CIRCULATING LIBRARY has on ex- Arrangements have been made with the mtional Art Co., of Cincinnati, O., which secure to the hibition two magnificent and rare paintings, which Donehue, with characteristic good heart and gen- patrons oi this paper the grandest ART PREMIUM ever offered in this country. It consists ot one of erosity, furnishes the costumes gratuitously. the largest pure steel engravings ever producqi, being in size 26 by 87 inches—more than three feet are to be raffled shortly at extremely reasonable Irfintenbach's Cod Uver Oil, high, and 2 feet 2 inches wide—and is entitled! prices per chance. With one source aDd another, if the money be dis- Without possessing the nauseating qualities of the plain oil. is increased in efficacy, by being combln. d tributed wisely, the suffering of the unfortunate with Churchill's Hypophosphltes and Phopshate of OUR extremely clever correspondent, " Rob- ones will be, in a measure, alleviated. Why doesn Lime. For its healing properties in Coughs, Colds, Scrofula, Bronchitis and all Lung Diseases, and as a THE THREE GRACES- erts," has at length, after serious thought, discov- the Congress that turned them out on the streets do vitalizing Tonic for Impaired Digestion and Debility, ered what generations have been working over in a little in the way of aid and assistance for them ? it cannot be surpassed. Where the plain OH has nau- It portrays three of the most grandly beautiful mimen, representing the three Christian Graces—Faith, seated and proved Ineffectual, this combination has Hope, and Charity. Each figure is mare than oneviird life size, and all are wonderfully beautiful. Its vain—that the Speaker's chair in the House of Rep- been taken readily with marked effect. value may be determined by the following cardBssued by the National Art Co.: resentatives faces north. THE OYSTER WAR now going on below us, on ^Indorsed and prescribed by our prominent physi Office of NAT'L ART CO. , Cincinnati, O.—Dearyir: Assure all subscribers that the retail price of the the Potomac, has come to be so serious that men are foreign imprpssions of " The Graces " is Thirtypollars Gold, and that we will pay $5 for each and FIRES.—Several fires occurred last week, but ROBERT I.AUTENBACH, every copy equal to our Premium edition, outsicfc of our issue. NAT'L ART CO. being shot near unto death by angry partisans ou Chemist and Proprietor, the promptness of the fire department prevented This grand Premium is given to each readerM this paper who cuts out the Premium Certificate both sides. We give herewith a few facts told in Eutaw and Saratoga streets, Baltimore. found below, and sends it to the Nat'l Art Co., totether with 25c. to pay cost of mailing and postage. them from graduating into conflagrations. The Are For sale in Washington by brief, incisive style by au eye-witness : CHARLES.STOTT & CO., Druggists, 408 Pennsylvania It is sent BY MAIL, securely packed, and warranted to reach its destination uninjured. in the alley back of the National Theater came within The Charles county gillers notified the Delaware avenue. an ace of imitating Chicago on a smaller but no less .1. HILLI8 MASSEY, Chemist, corner Fourteenth and gillers to leave or they would destroy their boats streets northwest. Cut out this Certificate and send it «the National Art Co. It Is worth $5, inconvenient plan. BUTLER & CLARRIDGE, Chemists, corner Third and nets. Captain Denty was hired by Mr. Ohilde, street and Indiana avenue, and all druggists through- agent of the steamer Harbinger, to tow five armed 0n FROM Brad. Adams we have DT. Newman's out the United States. dec6-5 PRFMIIIM PFRTIFIPflTF receipt k this Certificate, together with 25c. to pay post- boats from different points along the river to Toi I IILIIIIUM UUIIIII I VH I L. age and mailing tube, we will mail to the sender one copy of sermons. In addition to this Brad, has the cheek to the Engraving, size 26 by 37 inchps, entitled son's wharf, to carry out the threat. n BETHESDA WATER send us a base ball bat, which we will use on re- The Delaware gillers were under the protection of Cures Diabetes, Brlght's Disease and all other affictlons THE THREE GRACES. of the kidneys. fractory visitors when the shot-guns are discharged the Maryland police boat and the owner of the This Certificate is good until June 1, 1876, after vhich 10c. additional will be charged. No copy and the bull dog a corpse. The sad-hearted parent shore, Colonel Miller. CHARI.ES STOTT a CO. will be sent without this Certificate, except upqa receipt of $7, the retail price for our, and the Captain Spransy, tug Schedney, was seized by 480 Pennsylvania avenue, only American, edition. All Certificates must bt sent directly to sighs a deep sigh at the sight of the base ball toggery the police captain, and used as a police boat. Cap- dec6-l Agente for D. C. and Vlrgiilla. in his show case. tain Denty, »f tug Smith Pettit, and Captain Gregg, THE NATIONAL ¿RT C0.,'230 Walnut Street, Cincinnati, Ohio. of the Harbinger, were shot by the police. LAW OFFICE OF JOHN E. NdRRis, TRIAL OF OTTMAN.—The prosecution closed it« Thomas Williams, mate of the tug Gedney, was 461 Louisiana avenue, Washington. 1». C., NflTr TMFSF INSTR inTMNQ ah Certificates should bo sent in by Junel, 1876. All shot by the mob while in charge of the police cap- _ . February 21,18i6. IVU lb I nwt Ilia I nuu I iwno. sent in thereafter require 10c. additional, as a new evidence in the case of Ottman, the alleged Treas- tain. The governor of Maryland sustains the police DJSAU PBOFESSOK : Please send me some Balm of edition will then become necessary. The Certificate must in all cases be sent, otherwise persons who ury thief, on Friday last, with the exception ef one captain in his course Life, for 1 am suffering for want of it. are not subscribers might reap the benefits intended solely for the patrons of this paper. Each copy more witness, who will be called on Monday. The I remain your friend, of " The Graces " will be enclosed in a strong tube, S8 inches long, and postage will be prepaid there- _„„,„, JOHN E. NOKBIS. on out of the 25c. sent in. But one copy can be obtained for each copy of the paper this week, AND case will be argued then, for the defense has little or MISCELLANEOUS. Prof. T. A. Cook. THE CERTIFICATE WILL NOT BE AGAIN PRINTED IN THIS PAPER, hence, the importance no defense in the way of. witnesses, and settled in of cutting out this Certificate at once, and sendingit in for redemption. Address all Certificates to the National Art Co., 230 Walnut Street, Cincinnati, Ohio, and you will receive by return mail the the early part of the week. largestandhandsomest Premium Engraving you ever saw. WASHINGTON. D. C., February 21, 1878. LOST.—A bunch—why a " bunch," we don't 719. GREAT BARGAINS 719 PJROFKSSOR COOK—Dear Sir: 1 was over to George town on Saturday, and Mother Angela told me how know—of keys has been lost and are in immediate very beneficial the Balm of Life had proved to many demand at this office. The " bunch " was composed IN FANCY AND MILLINERY GOODS AND NO- of the sisters who had used lt.for various complaints: TIONS, AT in all it had given relief. But it had given out some 00AL AND WOOD. PIANOS, ET0. of a steel ring, to which were attached six keys—a months ago. I assured her you would replenish it night, a post-office and large latch-key, two desk keys DAVIS'. cheerfully, as you had told me you would when you H. A. CI.ARKE. JOHN. T. GIVEN. 719 Market Space, corner Eighth street. first sent It to them. You have the blessings of the poor and one of the skeleton order. They were lost yes- and of all the community to whom vou have been so terday, and the finder will confer a favor on the kind and generous. Very sincerely yours, Coal and Wood. loser by returning the artiele to this office. MRS. 8. MASI, 512 Ninth street. N. B.— We will giye him a puff if he does. :N ELEGANT ASSORTMENT OP LADIES' TJN- RACING.—The spring meeting, "Washington A derwear. Very best manufacture, at low prices, _ WASHINGTON, D. C., March 4, 1878. Driving Park, begins on the 2d of May and contin- PROFESSOR COOK—My good lcind Friend : Will you CLARKE & GIVEN, jlease give us a little more of the " Balm of Life." ues fonr days. It should be a grand success. »AVIS'. Here is our big demijohn again. Although I try to be WHOLESALE AND HETAIL DEALERS IN All from abroad who expect to enter horses at this real usavin...»urgs oVIf thHiee preciouI'lGUlUUSs stufftibuu,, stilsuml Iit (cuegoes sso quiCKiquickly when those ailing come afteafierr a littlelittip. MaMnvy oun»i-r am™goodi WOO» AND COAL. meeting are tendered free use of stabling and track God reward1 jvyoumr umiiicharit, yv uan d liberality. I hope you for training after April 1. The track, we think, is have keen quitnlfAe walwelll onff latelata . Most gratefully yours, the best mile track in the country. It is a yellow SISTER M. BLANCHE, n§nms loam—soft, elastic, does not cup, and is not affected pARASOLS AND SUN UMBRELLAS IN &REAT ST. VINCENT'S F. O. ASYLUM, corner Tenth and G „Dally arriving, cargoes of select ANTHRACITE and variety at streets. mar28-4t BITUMINOUS COAL, for families, steam and manu- GRAND,SQUARE AND UPRIGHT by wet or dry weather like most other tracks. This facturing use. will afford horsemen an excellent opportunity to fit »AVIS', Klsnuso AND CORD WOOD. their horses for the spring circuit. MEDICINAL WATERS. COAL STANDARD—TON, 2,240 lbs. PIANOS THE MURDER BAY DELEGATION.—Under that Best Quality, Fair Prices and Fair Dealing. very just title the Star shows up in clever and con- AMBTJBG EDGES AND INSERTIONS, VERY ARE MATCHLESS. cise style the wretched humbug of the delegation H clieap, from auction, at VICHY, Grand Grille, Celestine, Hauterleve and Hô- NO. 424 TENTH STREET WEST, which proposes to represent Republican Washington »AVIS'. pital In quart bottles, 30 cents each, $8.60 a G. KUHN, In the Oinciunati convention. It is composed of the dozen. Between D and E streets north SOLE AGENT, 40i TENTH STREET N. W., offscourings of the slums, and the old-time repeaters BRANCH YARD, corner Twelfth and C streets north- and bruisers of the ward politics resurrected in re- above Pennsylvania avenue. SELTZER, Nassau, in quart jugs, 25 cents each, $2.50 a 1 west. newed youth and uselessness manage its affairs. dozen. PRICES REASONABLE, TERMS EASY. ROVER & BAKER'S CELEBRATED ELASTIC DEPOT at Potomac Bridge corner Maryland avenue However, as it is a Radical organization, it is no and Lock-stitch Sewing Machines at greatly re- nov21-tfa Gduced prices, for cash, at and Thirteen-and-a-lialf street. sep5-tf3 funeral of ours. FREDE RICKSHALL, Bitters, In twenty-ounce bottles, 26 cents each,'$2.76 a dozen. T. EDW. CLARK. T. B, CROSS, JR THERE will be a most attractive and interesting »AVIS', J. F. ELLIS & CO., ap2-3fc2 719 Market Space, comerEighth street. programme to the public, at Ford's Opera House, in T. EDW. CLARK & CO., 60LB AGENTS F0& TEE Matt. Morgan's art exhibition of living statues, in SARATOGA, Congress, Hathorn, Geyser, High Rock and Excelsior in pint bottles, 25 cents each, DEALERS IN CELEBRATED CHICKERING which will be twenty young ladies, who of course are $2.50 a dozen. AND beautiful and shapely. Dnring the exhibition a va- GENERAL DEPOT riety of historical and other incidents will be repre- FOB Lumber, Wood, Coal, Doors, Sash, Blinds, FAMOUS WEBER PIANOS, BLUE LICK, In quart bottles, 30 cents each, |3 a dozen; sented. also on draught at 50 cents a gallon. Mouldings, &c. AND THE The event of the week, however, will be the ap- DOOBS, SASH, BLINDS, WINDOW FRAMES, HARD- Principal Office, Wharf, Dfipotand Planine Mill, foot Smith American Organ. pearance here of Titieus in opera. Those who have of Fourth street easf, (near United States Navy-yard;) WARE, GLASS, k. BEDFORD, on draught, 50 cents a gallon. Office, Boom No. 1, (Firetren's las. Office,) over Bank seen her only in concert will scarcely recognize her of Washington, Piano» and Organs Carefully Tuned and Repaired in this role, for she is grand, glorious in opera, and by Skillful Workmen. Satisfaction Guaranteed. whoever fails to see her in any of the four in which ON DRAUGHT. Soda, Vichy, Kissengen, Seltzer, Gey- febC3moS WASHINGTON. D. €. she will sing at the National this week will surely ser, Blue Lick and Bedford Waters. 937 Penn. Avenue, near Tenth St. miss a treat they may always regret. LIYEEY STABLES.

W. S. THOMPSON, A. B. KEYJE8. J. L. SMITH« WEATfiER.—Weather has been unfavorable to MIS0ELLANE0PS. nov21-ly Pharmacist, 70J Fifteenth street. «njoymeot, and exceedingly unpleasant during the last ten days of March. There was more weather KEYES & CO. crowded into last week than the week could very Emmitsburg Mineral Water BEWARE OF IMPOSTORS. well stand at once, so a good deal flopped over and COACHES, OPEN BRETTS, LIGHT WAGONS, SAD- overwhelmed the citizens. The blow of Wednesday HAS CUBED A MOST DISTRESSING CASE OF Headquarters flight was som ething terrible in its way, and its DLE HORSES, DOUBLE AND SINGLE shortness of duration alone saved the city from Having made arrangement with the best manufac- BBIGHT'S DISEASE, BUGGIES AND ALL OTHER turers of goods in my line at greatly reduced prices, I OXYGENATOR eerious damage. Several trees were uprooted, one am now prepared to furnish goods at prices much VEHICLES PROMPTLY or two houses compelled to walk off on their roofs, iower than has heretofore been offered in this District. FURNISHED. Please call and examine prices and quality before and quite a number of roofs walked off the houses. purchasing elsewhere. SIX YEARS STANDING. Patent Gas- It is said that March winds assist April showers in W Orders left at the Arlington Hotel or at the Stable, GEO. M. BARKER, day or night, will receive prompt attention. botanical purposes; we have had enough wind to Also, derangements and disorders of the Liver and make the earth a genuine garden of Eden in full ap2-4t8 649 and 6S1 NEW YORK AVENUE. Stomach, Constipation. &c. Close Carriages for Wedding Calls and Receptions. saverf bloom, if the showers don't go back on us. SPRING OPENING. Certificates of cures in the hands of, and the water for THE DECEASED WASHINGTON JOURNALIST.—The sale by BQARDIKG AND LIVERY STABLES, WHICH IS GÜAK- trial of Palmer, the South Bend justice of the peace, MRS. J. P. PALMER G. G. C. SIMMS, Druggist, for shooting Charley Murray, formerly correspond- WILL OPEN ON ent here of the Danbury News, and now editor of the Cor. Fourteenth street and New York Avenue. Willard's Hotel Stables, corner Fonrteenth and D streets, ASTEEI» TO RK. dec 21-tf Washington, D. C. South Bend Herald, was finished last week. Mur-' THURSDAY K EXT, Al'Il 11, 6. marl2-3mos ray deceived his enemies and disappointed the car- BUCE «48 131 M.S A recherche assortment of PARIS PATTERN BON- SMTil BAILOR'S oner by coming to life again, and Palmer, after a NETS and IIATS, and all the newest novelties in ELES0 WATER-Sole Agency protracted trial, was sentenced to two years in the 30 TO 5« I*EB PARIS MILLINERY. HELLER'S OLD DRUG STORE, 7th and N n. w. penitentiary. The trial was a good deal of a farce. PATENT MEDICINES AT REDUCED PRICES. One man's-testimony, a clairvoyant, was admitted Ladies of Washington and vicinity are respectfully PRESCRIPTIONS A SPECIALTY. CENT., AT ioTthe defense, which went to prove his insanity invited to be present. NIGHT BELL ALWAYS ANSWERED. because the clairvoyantic fraud said he saw Pal- Family Remedies : Paregoric, Laudanum, Castor-Oil, 4c., with Fancy Articles, Colognes, Toilet Soaps, &c. mer's heart, just-before he met and shot Murray, MRS. J. P. PALMER, OLD tlQUORS, FOR MEDICINE AND FAMILY a-booming and a-humping itself around, scintillat- USE. No. 1109 F street, between Eleventh and Thorn's, 1220 F St. ing and emitting sparks of fire—an undeniable evi- ALSO, „ ™„t> Twelfth. SEGARS—IMPORTED AND DOMESTIC. dence of insanity." ATX AT PRICES TO SUIT THESE HARD TIMES, A large assortment of CHANDELIERS, DROP- ap2-8mos2 STABLES, LIGHTS, PORTABLES, and evervtMiiK to be £>una in (A first-class evidence of the clairvoyant's in- decs 1326 E ST., OPPOSITE NATIONAL THEATER. a first-class PLUM BING AND GAS-PITTING Egi AC Particular attention paid to BOARDING HORSES. sanity.) Samuel O. Mills. LISHMENT, -which line of goods I am selling at a great Latest style CARRIAGES with responsible drivers. sacrifice, to close out stock. . T Still, considering that Landis escaped seot-frfe for SADDLE HOBSES, BUGGIES AND PHAETONS FIRST-CLASS PLUMBING A SPECIALTY. R. P. SOTJTHALL, hire. Remember the number, 122 0E, where vou wll innu o his cruel murder of Editor Carruth, Indiana justice JUSTICE or THE PEACE, UNITED STATES COM- HORSES always for Sale and Exflharge. nnvls G. THORN, the l ight man In the right place is far ahead of the New Jersey article, and two years MISSIONER AND .NOTARY PUBLIC. Jan23-tf3 is a long punishment for shooting a coat—with a A P OTH E CARY, T AWN GKASS SEED, journalist inside of it. So. 486 Louisiana Ave., Washington, B. G. W. S. ROOSE, Special attention given to Pensions and the Collect 1931 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE. LAWN SPKINKLEK FOUNTAINS, O'BRIEN'S MENAGERIE AND CIRCUS.—On Mon- tiQn of Claims. mar26-ly8 LAWN FERTILIZEES, day, April 10, John O'Brien's combination of me- Fresh Medicines and Drugs. Prescriptions Carefully Cigars and Tobacco. nagerie, circus, hippodrome, &c., commences a sea- Compounded. ' marls-3mo2 VALENTINE'S LAWN MOWERS, ported and son of one week in this city. In view of the prevail- ma nuf actu rer 14 ing hard times," the proprietor has reduced his o Homeopathic Physicians & Families LAWN TRELLISES, JLS3S of the Cactus, La admission price from fifty to twenty-five cents. Not- Fashionable Tailoring Parlor, Maiiola, La Boose, GARDEN TOOLS, Pennsylvania and Stockton Cigars withstanding this reduction he has doubled the at- Using the Medicines. Agent for the Am- BORRICKE & TAJTEL & HUMPHREY'S PREPAR- brosia Fine Cut. The tractions, by engaging two distinct circus troupes, ST. CLOUD HOTEL—ROOM 2. ATIONS. FLOWER SEED. trade supplied directfrom who appear in two separate rings under a mammoth We have on haud, and will keep fresh, a full assort- the factory at the very low ment. Family cases, $1 60 to Sloo each. GARDEN SEED, Aven ne. est New York and Baltimore pavilion, capable of accommodating ten shousand lti OPEN WEDNESDAY. Foreign and Ameriean\ medical books and iou mate, prices. •spectators. surgical lnstrnments, Ac., at HELLER'S old Drug and AGRICULTURAL ^ IMPLEMENTS, Prescription Store, Seventh street, corner N. feb!8-2 JS®*Betail branches at Willard's, The menagerie contains all the rare animals and AUCTION SALES, FERTILIZERS, FIELD SEED, &c. Metropolitan and Imperial Hotels. ESTABLISHED 1852. birds to be found in any similar organization, and Y THOMAS DOWLINC, the muse.um is replete with animate and inanimate B •curiosities from all parts of the world. Auctioneer and Real Estate Broker, - R. B. EEEGUSON^ Pharmaceutist, JOHN A. BAKES, The street parade will be accompanied by two full At the old stand of Latimer & Cleary, Southwest corner of Pennsylvania avenue and Eleventh Southwest corner Second and Pennsylvania Ave., I AM AUTHORIZED TO OFFER bands, each placed in magnificent chariots, and the street. Agricultural Warehouse, 026 Louisiana •elephants, camels, oars, cages and all the parapher- CAPITOL HILL. Ave., bet. Ninth and Tenth Sts. Large Sums of Money to Loan, nalia of the establishment will be exhibited in the CATALOGUE SALE OP A COLLECTION OF ELE- tunr28-2t2 GANT BOOKS- Toilet articles, Perfumery aifd Drug sundries, atriow- IN AMOUNTS OF FBOM ¡street parade on the morning of each exhibition. est cash prices. CHoice imported and Domestic Cigars. From a private library, in various departments of nov7-6mo8 #10,000 to 50,000, As the old show ground, on Sixth street, can no literature, comprising copies of choice English and longer be procured for circus exhibitions, the corner American editions of standard works, mostly new and WalA NEWl BOOK St, .4 8Caricatures PAGES, containing 14 en.. On first-class Beal Estate, at 8 per cent, per annum, for three or'more years. Commissions very moderate. of Ninth and S streets has been obtained. It can in extra bindings ; a number of handsomely illustrated graved illustrations, WITH INFORMATION FOR Alabama State Distributions. STOCK SPECULATORS. Price, cloth covers, 10 cents ; J. MIAMKY JONES, be reached by several street car lines, and here the Publications ; rare old Books, &c„ 4c., all In good con- CHARTERED BY THE XEGISLATVRE. paper covers, free, by mail. TUMBRIDGE & CO., lt3 511 Seventh street. «how will locate, giving its first exhibition Monday dition, to be sold at my auction rooms, southwest cor- Bankers and Brokers, 2 Wall Street, New York. afternoon, April 10th, and continue every afternoon ner Pennsylvania avenue and Eleventh street, MON- Drawings every twenty-one days. Thirteenth dlstri- OS. T. K. PLANT, ATTORNEY-AT-LA.W, COM- ution on the Havana plan, Class 13, to be drawn at J missioner of Deeds and Notary Public, 708 E street. and evening during the week. The magnitude p.nd DAY and TUESDAY EVENINGS, April 8 and 4. Sale Mobile, Alabama, April 18, before sworn commission- B. G. liOVEJOY, Depositions a specialty. 1yl8-tf5 merit of this combination, and the extremely low (o commence at 7 ¡30 o'clock precisely. ers. 3,680 cash prizes, capital prize, $25,ooo. Tickets, $5; Terms cash.. quarters, $1.25. All prizes paid in full after the draw- ATTORNEY & G0ÏÏNSELL01-AT-LAW, END 25c. to G. P. BOWELL & CO., New York, for price of admission, twenty-five cents, will, secure it ing. Agents wanted. For circulars address WILKIN'S THOMAS DOWLÏNG, S Pamphlet of 100 pages, containing lists of 3.000 news- the patronage of the entire show-going community. lt3 & CO., post-office box 1481, Mobile, Alabama, or post- No. 343 D street, opp. City Hall. - papers, and estimates showing cost of advertising. Auctioneer. office box 8419, New York. apr2-4ta* * maria-tf2 mar5-ly3