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Insecure "Pilot"

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Insecure INSECURE "PILOT" Written by Issa Rae & Larry Wilmore Revised Seventh Draft 12/10/14 OVER BLACK: We hear a voice say: VOICE (V.O.) Today is my 29th birthday. Thanks to Facebook, I feel like people actually care. INT. STUDIO APARTMENT - BEDROOM - DAY ISSA DEE, 29, sits on the kitchen counter in her studio apartment, dressed for work, laptop in hand. She scrolls through Facebook wall posts, passively “liking” each birthday wish. Every 5 posts, she writes a “Thank you.” ISSA (V.O.) I guess I’m supposed to feel special, but I don’t. I can count on one hand the number of real friends I have. And I’m fine with that. I’m not the life of the party. I’ve never been the adventurous type. I’m not even the sassy black friend. I can’t dance. When it comes down to it, I’m just a regular, awkward black girl. Issa receives a message notification from DONNELL KING. As she reaches for her mouse, she knocks over a glass of water. ISSA FUCK! ISSA (V.O.) It’s not easy being awkward and black. I feel like I’m constantly second guessing what it means to be me. I used to keep a journal to vent. Now I just write raps. INT. STUDIO APARTMENT - BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS We JUMP CUT TO: Issa in her bathroom mirror with a notebook in hand, rapping. This is her place of solitude. ISSA Go shawty, it’s my birthday But noonecaresbecause I’m not having a party Because I’m feeling sorry For myself... 2. Back in the kitchen, Issa clicks on Donnell’s message. (We will jump cut between the bathroom and the kitchen.) DONNELL (O.S.) “Happy birthday. I miss you.” Issa smiles. It’s one of those schoolgirl crush, “memories of the way we werrrrre” smiles. She clicks on Donnell’s Facebook page. He appears to be in the music business. She looks at pics of him in the studio, the club scene and on stage. She clicks on his Relationship Status, which is set to “Single.” Issa is smug. BATHROOM: Issa transforms into a cocky gangster rapper. ISSA Ohhhh look nigga, Guess you still single, Couldn’t find another bitch, To make your toes tingle (NOPE!) She smiles. That was good. She writes down her thoughts. ISSA (V.O.) I can’t lie, a part of me wishes I wasn’t so aggressively passive. How different would my life be if I made decisions based on what I wanted instead of wondering “what if” all the damn time? We angle back on Issa’s face as she looks intently down at Donnell’s message. Just as she starts to reply, “Hey, I --” Suddenly we hear a LOUD SNORE. Across the kitchen, in her small studio apartment, we see A FIGURE in bed, under the covers. Issa quickly closes her computer, grabs her purse and keys and leaves for work. INT./EXT. COMPANY VAN - DAY ISSA looks out at the rundown middle school across the street as FRIEDA, white, late 20s, a co-worker Issa tolerates, reads stats off about the school. FRIEDA ...60% African-American, 35% Latino and 5% Indian/Other. They’ve cut on Sports, Arts, and After School programs. They’ve had 3 Principals in the last 2 years... Issa puts the car into “Park” and stares at Thomas Jefferson Middle School. 3. ISSA Don’t all of these schools start to feel the same to you after a while? FRIEDA What do you mean? ISSA Like, it’s the same story, same neglect, same struggle, same Black and Latino kids. FRIEDA It’s not a color issue, it’s a class issue. And that’s a really cynical view. I’d think that you of all people would be more sensitive. Issa bites her tongue. Music plays as we begin -- A MONTAGE OF ISSA’S JOB: ISSA (V.O.) Frieda is only one small-bitch part of a large clusterfuck of problems at my job, WE GOT YOU! A non-profit dedicated to helping underprivileged kids explore their career options. Issa sits in the office with her boss, JOANNE, white, late 40s, who has posters of Martin Luther King Jr., Malcolm X, President Obama and Beyonce in her office. JOANNE A part of me is torn between the Booker T. method and the DuBois method. Are we teaching them practical skills or encouraging intellectual thinking? What’s most beneficial for people of color? ISSA In...2014? ISSA (V.O.) I’ve been here five years, and they still haven’t realized that these kids and I have nothing in common except our skin color. Yet and still, I’m the token with all of the answers. As Issa approaches the coffee pot in the break room, a HUDDLED GROUP of co-workers turns to her. 4. CO-WORKER #1 Let’s just ask Issa. Issa, what’s “on fleek?” Issa pours her coffee. She’s used to this. ISSA I don’t know what that means. Her co-workers look disappointed, as Issa takes her coffee and leaves the break room. ISSA (V.O.) I know what that shit means. But I’m not giving them the satisfaction. Small victories. END MONTAGE: INT. CLASSROOM - MOMENTS LATER Issa stands in front of a bored 6th grade classroom as Frieda hands out brochures for “WE GOT YOU!” the educational non- profit company they work for. The school’s counselor, JUSTIN, mid-30s, Asian, stands next to her. ISSA ...WE GOT YOU! offers after-school tutoring, mentoring programs, community service, standardized test coaching, Big Brother/Big Sister and general filling in the cracks. Whatever it is you need to succeed, WE GOT YOU! As the Youth Liaison, I can assure that we’ll always have your back. Questions? Silence. ISSA (CONT’D) Don’t be shy, guys. Fire away. A 6TH GRADE GIRL raises her hand. 6TH GRADE GIRL #1 Why you talk like a white girl? Other students snicker. Frieda does, too. Issa is unsure how to answer that. ISSA (with a “BLAC-cent”) Haaa...you caught me. I’m rockin’ Blackface. 5. She laughs. Nothing. She turns to Frieda for something. Frieda mouths, “That’s racist.” ISSA (CONT’D) Any other questions? Another 6TH GRADE GIRL raises her hand. 6TH GRADE GIRL #2 What’s up with your hair? ISSA Um, I don’t know what you mean? 6TH GRADE GIRL #2 My cousin can put some tracks in it. Unless you like it like that. Issa reaches for her hair insecurely. 6TH GRADE GIRL #3 You rude. She African! ISSA We’re all from Africa, guys. JUSTIN Let’s stick to questions about the program. (to Issa) Sorry. A 6TH GRADE BOY raises his hand. 6TH GRADE BOY #1 Is this what you always wanted to do? This question actually catches Issa off guard. ISSA Um...No. But...I got this job after college and it fit my interests at the time. 6TH GRADE BOY #2 Are you single? ISSA I don’t think that’s appropriate. 6TH GRADE BOY #2 (to his friend) She’s single. 6. ISSA Ok, since you guys are SO interested in my personal life. Here it is: I’m 28-- actually, 29, today’s my birthday. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 4 years. I came from a great family. I have a college degree. I work in the corporate world, but I like to give back. And I did this to my hair on purpose. I hope that covers everything. Does anybody have any questions about WE GOT YOU? 6TH GRADE MIXED GIRL Why aren’t you married? ISSA I’m just not. Right now. 6TH GRADE MIXED GIRL My dad says nobody is checking for bitter ass black women anymore. Everyone except Justin laughs. CUT TO: BATHROOM: Issa lapses into a rap rebuttal: ISSA That’s why yo daddy ain’t shit I’m surprised you know him Old Kanye muthafucka Bet he found his Kim! CLASSROOM: A calm Issa stands as Justin intervenes again. JUSTIN Dayniece, that’s detention. Apologize! Now. 6TH GRADE MIXED GIRL Ugh! Sorry. ISSA That’s OK. And tell your dad that black women aren’t bitter, they’re just tired of being expected to settle for less. A moment of what seems like thoughtful silence turns into an eruption of laughter. 7. 6TH GRADE BOY #3 HER OUTFIT SETTLED FOR LESS, THOUGH! Issa sighs as she watches the kids laugh at her in SLOW MOTION. They don’t take her seriously, and why should they? ISSA (V.O.) I can’t stand the white people at my job and the black kids don’t fuck with me. Why couldn’t I be more like Molly. She’s like the Will Smith of corporate. CUT TO: MONTAGE OF MOLLY’S LAW FIRM: A) MOLLY, 28, Issa’s best friend, stands in the Break Room with the firm’s PARTNERS. They are cracking up. ISSA (V.O.) White people loooooooooove Molly. B) Molly plays Dominoes in the parking garage with the black and Latino security guards. ISSA (V.O.) Black people also looooooove Molly. Molly slams down her last domino. MEGAN DOM-I-NO biiiiiiiiiiitch! The guys laugh and high five Molly. ISSA (V.O.) What am I doing wrong? EXT. THOMAS JEFFERSON MIDDLE SCHOOL - MOMENTS LATER Justin walks Issa and Frieda outside. JUSTIN I am so, so sorry about that. ISSA It’s totally fine. They’re kids. I get crazy questions all the time. 8. JUSTIN Well, I’m really looking forward to working with you.
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