The Jewish Star

Becker trounces Scaturro; other primary results Page 7 What forgiveness looks like Page 5 Jay Feinberg wants to be your hero Page 8 Ask Aviva: when being funny isn’t fun anymore Page 11 THE JEWISH STAR

VOL 9, NO 37 ■ SEPTEMBER 17, 2010 / 9 TISHREI 5771 WWW.THEJEWISHSTAR.COM New twist on an old idea A sukkah Crying foul over kaporos made of thread By Michael Orbach

Can a sukkah be made entirely of glass? What about a sukkah made of interlocking pieces of wood that can extend inﬁ nitely? Is a sukkah kosher if it’s made out of cardboard signs, each purchased from someone who’s homeless? There are the questions Josh Foer is dealing with right now. Foer, a Jewish freelance journalist and author, decided in May to launch a worldwide sukkah contest. The challenge: strictly follow Jewish law in reimagining the sukkah, the temporary huts Jews are commanded to live in during the Sukkot holiday that begins next Wednesday night. Taking their cues directly from Masechet Sukkah, rules included the minimum number of walls a sukkah must have (two and a half), and guidelines for s’chach, the roof of the sukkah (that has to let in less sun than shade but must not completely prevent rain from entering). Photo by Ben Lifshitz Foer teamed up with Reboot, the organiza- Roughly three dozen people protested against the use of chickens for kaporos ceremony outside the Jewish tion that ran Yom Kippur-themed questions Children’s Museum in Crown Heights on Sept. 12. Members of the Crown Heights Jewish community met the on a billboard in Times Square last year, and protesters. launched SukkahCity.com by opening the contest to everyone. “We were shocked by the response it got,” Plucky activists rufﬂ e feathers, but Foer told The Jewish Star. “Over 600 architects from 43 countries — places like Kazakh- stan, Egypt, Lebanon. From every race, faith, supporters aren’t chickening out and creed, we had people wrestling with the laws of the sukkah. It was kind of magical.” By Michael Orbach so they recite, “This is my exchange, this is The chicken ritual has come under The designs varied and even included my substitute, this is my atonement. This scrutiny and been criticized in recent something called an “Air Sukkah” which Why did the chicken cross the road be- chicken will go to its death while I will years, by both animal-rights activists and we are still unclear about. One sukkah was fore Yom Kippur? enter and proceed to a good long life and Jews concerned about the kashrus qual- designed to resemble a burning bush. Foer To get away from kaporos. peace.” Traditionally, the chicken is then ity of the slaughter and processing of the appointed a jury that included New Yorker This time of year, many observant Jews slaughtered and given to the poor. A very chickens, and this year is no different. An magazine architecture critic Paul Goldberger perform the atonement ritual known as common alternate version of the ceremo- organization has even been formed that and Thom Mayne, the 2005 winner of the shlugging kaporos, swinging a chicken ny substitutes money for the chicken with is devoted to ending the practice of us- Pritzker Architecture Prize, considered to be around one’s head three times. As they do the money going to charity. Continued on page 3 Continued on page 3

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wl.” way practitioners en Davis, homelessness and wandering,” he said. homelessness and wandering,” impermanence. You can’t live in a tice in Sukkot. “The theme of the holiday is the things in our lives and the ephemerality not ponder thatnot home is not actual your that much more permanent than this… It really that doesn’t ha part of the design contest. happiest the — Rejoicing) plained. of our lives. I think that.” of our lives. got architects forces str up in la memor engaging in collective a week ism and the sukkah is no dif no is sukkah the and ism of small building,” Foer said. “This is the of a sukkah: what possible circumstances siasm generated cussion?” Foer asked. asked. cussion?” Foer whether an elephant could function as a wall a as function could elephant an whether could ha ture that attempts directly from the Talmud. into theinto the meaning of holida an invitation.” to she said. rah’s prohibi- r, 2. Three-dozen To

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having having begun around vo ve

refe kosher kosher sukkahs rk ys to To read,” read,” Foer said. Dani Passo to he sukkah he to oman with hout food and wa log t ubavitch community. The rally rally The community. ubavitch y.

th wo re xibility built in [to her design, the roof ed it as well. ed it as well. L w ed, t t

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rk the animals are handled violated tza’ar P could uctures in to to or “killing her lo ection without the birds being slaughtered, being birds the without ection wo f wo aporos. The place while kaporos c.” c.” On the night of the pr er Kaporos goes ﬂ str including some

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to Kaporos is a spin-off of hat describes itself as dedicated r

eshivat Cho eshivat yc

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t not against atonement,” not against atonement,” es ccording oup ended up using an intermedi- r. oup held a rally outside the Jewish Children’s Mu- to o, known as the Mechaber, the practice is .” Y t ens r

ot A as important te gr ended up needing est, called the treatment of the birds before and during and before birds the of treatment the called est, k gr re to rk s quite a bit of ﬂ designs from the submissions. The y. w Ka e had the entire Cho Yeshivat e’ es had ot e’ en as a time a we hic

ecord of the practice exists in the k ve ot ubavitch men c ch, holds the opposite opinion. Kabbalists such as the Ari, forated Rina Da “It “G-d built the Chaotic Chaotic scenes captured on video The “W The debate “Even “Even the we For help in making the sukk the making in help For “Half the winners “One of the The “W r L ve

ere left in the out wit rain ru osef he sukkah kosher. In ano he sukkah kosher. eens and adults from the from adults and eens or kaporos. Continued from page 1 Continued from page make a blessing on it, and elevate it. a blessing on it, and elevate make organizers miscalculated. G-d said the purpose of the chic the period of the high holida f a pr intended intended ment, a young Lubavitch teenager defends the defends use of chic teenager Lubavitch ment, a young not pious,” pious,” not site site A Crownheights.info. ha t at describing kaporos as inhumane. “Being cruel Davis said. Davis or so pr seum in Crown Heights, Brooklyn on Sept. centur ment ceremony that has animal abuse. ment ceremony though it is variously dated Y Chic adopted from pagan sources and should not be practiced. Rab- practiced. be not should and sources pagan from adopted president of passionate and respectful treatment of domestic fo and respectful treatment passionate No non-proﬁ tion against cruelty to the pr the the laws of the sukkah

the highest A sukkah made ing Continued from page 1 from page Continued er kapor er ov foul Crying bi Moshe Isserlis, the Ramo, a commentator on the Shulchan the ritual “hor ba’alei chaim,” she asser w The jury also included Israeli architect Ron A Rabbi Isaac Arad, and Michael Arad (no relation), the de- the relation), (no Arad Michael and Arad, signer of the National September turned rial. The jury convened in August and picked and August in juryrial.The convened kah made from a] single traditional design constraints,” Foer laughed. Foer constraints,” design traditional Weiss’ Weiss’ rabbinical seminar twel “Ther sukkah. designs all share a single element: eachdesigns all share a single element: is an ing various with challenges their designs. “S’chach can’t be directly supported and whether explained. innovation innovation in what is typically considered a and didn’t need anything done; the semicha student, so this wo t rah beis medrash discussing these half consisted consisted of a single lar ate ate material per 4 on Sunday at 2 p.m. at the Sid Jacobson Jewish Community Center, located at 300 Forest Drive in September ON THE Greenvale. A Panel of those who attended The Inter- national Association of Jewish Genealogical 19 Societies (IAJGS) conference in Los Angeles will Lulov and Esrog Calendar share the highlights of the conference with us. PURCHASE YOUR LULAV AND ESROG at the Refreshments will be served. There is no charge Weinstein house, located at 33 North Wood Submit your shul or organization’s events or shiurim to [email protected]. for admission. Our mavens will be there at 1:30 Lane in Woodmere, and a large percentage of Deadline is Wednesday of the week prior to publication. p.m. to help solve your genealogy puzzles. the proceeds will be donated to the Ilan Tocker For further information call Rhoda at (631) Foundation. 661-6340 or visit our website at www.jgsli.org Pre-order by messaging Asher Meckler or emailing [email protected]. Receive a $5 discount ($70 instead of $75) if you preorder by September 8. No need to pay in advance. When September preordering, please specify if you want an etrog with or without a pitom. Chinuch (student) sets are $35 and must be 27 preordered by September 8. Friends of Nahal Haredi The brand new Beaver Lake Cookbook will THE JEWISH STAR THE JEWISH 9 TISHREI 5771 2010 17, September THE FRIENDS OF NAHAL HAREDI invite you to a also be available for sale for $18 with 100% of reception in honor of the Nahal Haredi Battalion the proceeds going to the foundation as well. as it begins its second decade of service in the It’s a must-have for the holidays and is fi lled IDF on Chol Ha’Moed Sukkot, Monday, September with quick, easy and delicious recipes. Join the Courtesy of Midreshet Shalhevet 27th at 7:00 p.m., at the Leonardo Plaza Hotel in Beaver Lake Cookbook group on Facebook. You Jerusalem. Special tributes to Rabbi Hershel Bil- can reserve a copy as well by emailing michal- Midreshet Shalhevet High School for Girls in North Woodmere welcomed the freshman class of 22 new students from all over New York. Menahelet Esther let of the Young Israel of Woodmere, and Daniel [email protected] or messaging Michal Weinstein Meltsev, recipient of Soldier of the Year citation on Facebook. Don’t forget to keep Tzvi Ilan Ben Eisenman, far right, delivered an shiur on the Yamim Noraim to the students during their orientation. for the Nahal Haredi. For reservations call: 011- Gitta in your Tefi lot this Rosh Hashonah and Yom 972-54-662-0560. Kippur. He has a long road ahead but with our prayers and G-ds help he will return to his family lies in order to help them better understand the healthy and whole again. nature of the condition, gain confi dence and join Going to Israel for Sukkot? September in community activities. For further information, THE SUKKOT HOLIDAYS are fi lled with fun and please contact Cathy Byrne at 569-6733x220. exciting kids and teen events in Jerusalem. Enjoy Dealing with bullies outdoor children’s theater (Sept 26-28th) at the workshop 20 Botanical Gardens, Visit the “Lab” (September 24- THE JCC OF THE GREATER FIVE TOWNS, located at Hadassah meeting 28) for a collection of enjoyable kids plays, enjoy 207 Grove Avenue in Cedarhurst, will be hosting THE EAST MEADOW SIMCHA CHAPTER OF HADAS- September the Sukkot Festival at Ein Yael (Sept 26-28) with an anti-bullying class from from 12:30 p.m. to 1:30 SAH will meet at 7:45 p.m. at the East Meadow art workshops and an authentic Roman “Shuk”, p.m.. Studies have shown that one in every six Public Library, on the corner of Front Street and see the newly Remodeled Israel Museum and children is bullied at school. At the JCC’s free East Meadow. Gary Hudes, president of Gennaro 26 enjoy a great recycle workshop in the Youth Wing interactive workshop, children will learn non- Jewelers of Bellmore, will speak about diamonds Simchat Beit Hashoeva in and dramatic gallery tours for kids, join the City violent confl ict resolution and basic self-defense and other jewelry. He will also give tips on being of David “Dig It” program if you like to search techniques. Led by Master Daniel Seggera, a an educated consumer in the jewelry shop. For Cedarhurst Park for real artifacts from the earth dug out of the 7th Degree Black Belt and Child Safety Expert, more information call 516-481-1294. HOLIDAY FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY! Join Temple Mount, March with local Jerusalemites this workshop will also help children gain the Chabad of the Five Towns for live music, dancing, in the annual Jerusalem March, Join thousands self-esteem and confi dence to succeed in school & entertainment by the Amazing Modern Gypsies. of people at the western Wall as the Cohanim and in life. This show is a dream-like world of visual arts bless the nation, enjoy the amazing view of the Space is limited. To make a reservation September and dangerous stunts including Bubble Boy, Fire Western Wall at the 2nd Temple Model on the please call Shoshana Lazar, Children’s Enrich- Manipulation, Flag Juggling & more. Celebrate roof of the Aish Hatorah building in the Old City, ment Coordinator, at (516) 569-6733 ext. 204 by 12 with your feet as we dance to invigorating Learn about Jerusalem through the ages as you p.m., September 16. 21 Jewish music. Rain date, September 27. Between take a ride on the Time Elevator or watch the 5:30-8:00 p.m.. Night Spectacular at the Tower of David, enjoy Parkinson’s Support a scavenger hunt in English at the Museum of Group Underground Prisoners as you learn about the THE JCC OF THE GREATER FIVE TOWNS, located Jewish Genealogy Underground fi ghters who fought in 1948 (Sept at 207 Grove avenue in Cedarhurst, hosts every 26-28), play a video game “Catch the Counterfeit” Tuesday a Parkinson’s Support Group from 11 a.m. meeting at the Bank of Israel Visitors center (Reserva- to 2:00 p.m. The purpose of this group is to bring THE JEWISH GENEALOGY SOCIETY OF LONG tions Required). 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What forgiveness looks like Thoughts for the fi nal prayer September 17, 2010 9 TISHREI 5771 y the time I was 16 he had given me life, more harm than good in the vast majority of stolen my identity and moved to an is- instances. In Hilkhot Teshuva 2:10, Rambam very experienced rabbi once told me that fi ltered, beautiful mikvahs we have today. They B land in the West Indies. Yet there he was, writes that even if one has been maltreated for Neilah, the last chapter of Yom Kip- were either murky and gross, or it was a natural reaching for apples in the orchard and passing severely, he should not bear a grudge. “This is Apur — the fi nal prayer, the setting sun, spring, river or lake that was very cold. In some them to my children. the way of the seed of Israel and their proper the last grab at the straw of life for the coming cases in history, particularly in Europe, Jewish Several hours later, my three-year-old, who hearts,” Rambam explains. year — it is important to focus the attention of women would have to break the ice in order to does not recall ever having seen this man be- Even Dr. Drew, a modern-day, pop culture the mitpal’lim (those who are praying) in a di- do their requisite monthly dunking. Men who fore, asks me why I call him “Dad.” I have to version of Freud, tweeted the following in Au- rection that may help answer the questions we went daily faced similar trials, except in the turn away and take a deep breath before return- gust of last year: “Forgiveness is when u think of might not necessarily speak about on the holy morning rather than at night. ing to the mixing bowl she and I are using to those who hurt you and feel the power to wish day: Were my prayers answered? Will my com- Returning to our tale: Once when Elisha’s make apple pie. them well — one of the fi rst experiences of a mitments to change work? Will G-d accept my wife emerged from the mikvah she encoun- Rabbi Joseph Telushkin explains in a vid- genuine recovery.” teshuvah? How will I know what I need to do to tered a pig — a ritually impure animal. So she eocast on JInsider.com We filled three huge bags with apples at the actualize the things I’ve prayed for and person- went again. Upon emerging, she encountered that Jewish texts offer orchard. My father is staying for dinner. I am ally committed to do in this coming year? a metzora (a person affl icted with the spiritual IN MY VIEW three attitudes towards not exactly enjoying this. It’s like wearing cloth- I heard this idea from Rabbi Avner Kavas, a ailment called “tzara’at”), so she went again. 40 forgiveness. In most cas- ing two sizes too small. But the children are renowned speaker in Israel. There is a gemara (it may be an exaggeration, but nonetheless a es, forgiveness is obliga- comfortable and laughing. My father is smiling; which was made famous by Yossi Green, who large number of) times she went through this tory, in some it is op- using the few Hebrew words he knows because put it to music, and Avraham Fried, who record- ritual until G-d told the angel Gavriel to de- tional and in rare cases, that is what he does around us. I am confused ed it and sings it around the world. On Brachot scend and stand before this righteous woman it is forbidden. The fact about how to explain this relation, confl icted 7a, the Talmud records: “Rabbi Yishmael ben who had been through enough; she will be- that forgiveness can be about the smile I freeze on my face, worried I Elisha (the High Priest) said, ‘Once when I en- come pregnant tonight with a boy who will be- forbidden appears to be am taxing my husband who has been helping tered the holy of holies to burn the k’toret (on come Yishmael Kohen Gadol. unique to Judaism. keep the house super neat because he under- Yom Kippur), I saw Akasriel — G-d sitting on When she emerged, she came across the an- Rabbi Telushkin stands that when this tidal wave rolls in, clean His lofty throne. He said to me, ‘Yishmael, my gel Gavriel, who appeared to her in the image says that forgiveness is living room fl oors help. son. Bless me!’ I said to him, ‘May it be Your of her husband. After she returned home, she obligatory in the vast “Because he’s my Daddy,” I reply to my will that Your mercy became pregnant and eventually gave birth to a majority of instances, three-year-old. She giggles like it’s the silliest should overcome Your son who was blessed with the true countenance especially in cases when thing I could have said. I anticipate questions anger, and Your mercy of the angel Gavriel. forgiveness is requested about the grandfathers she knows and loves. should overcome all of In the laws of Tevillah (dunking in the mik- Ilya Welfeld and the harm infl icted is “No,” she says emphatically and points to my Your attributes as You vah), a woman who sees something that is reparable. husband who is everything I could have wished practice mercy towards tameh (ritually impure) after she has immersed He explains that for- for in a father for my children. “That’s Daddy!” Your children…’ And he does not need to go back to the mikvah. Given giveness is forbidden in cases where irrevocable “Sure is,” I say. And we go back to blending responded to me with [a the state of the mikvah in those days, each re- harm has been caused to others, citing Timo- the apples, fl our and brown sugar. nod of] His head.’” turn to the mikvah was almost like putting her thy McVeigh, the unremorseful Oklahoma City My thoughts wander. I try to remember Can you imagine G-d life in G-d’s hands. bomber as well as the terrorists of 9/11, as indi- whether my father has ever requested forgive- saying to a human being But she went back, perhaps 40 times, in or- viduals we should not forgive. ness. I certainly do not feel irrevocably dam- — “Bless Me?” Is there der to do the mitzvah right. But what is optional forgiveness? I am struck aged; in fact, at the moment, I feel quite grate- anyone who would not This is what we call mesirat nefesh — being by the power this seems to place in the hands ful. The timing of this visit isn’t lost on me: Rosh want to give birth to able to do something right, even though it is dif- of the victim. Hashanah is literally around the corner. I am Rabbi Avi Billet a child who, one day, fi cult. To have the fortitude to say, “I am going As Rabbi Telushkin explains, granting for- not a big believer in coincidence. would be asked by G-d to sacrifi ce myself for the sake of G-d.” giveness is optional on two grounds. The fi rst is Earlier in the day at the orchard, my father to bless Him? How does In the case of Elisha and his wife, they mer- when the infl ictor does not apologize or ask to took a bite of one of the apples as we walked one merit to be blessed ited a son who was asked by G-d to bless Him. be forgiven. (This underscores our responsibil- between rows of trees. “Sour,” he said. “Sour with such a child? If we commit to literally be mosair nefesh, to ity as adults to properly inform those who have and ripe?” I asked, trying to remember which There are midrashic accounts of Rabbi Yish- sacrifi ce of ourselves in body and spirit, for the wronged us, since one cannot request forgive- breeds the farmer had said would not ripen for mael’s parents — Otzar Midrashim (Niddah, sake of G-d, what kinds of merits will we have ness without knowing they caused harm.) The weeks. “Sour and sweet,” he replied. page 400), and in the Or Zarua (Volume One, coming to us? second is when the damage caused is irrevo- I repeated it out loud as a question: “Sour Alpha Beta, on letters zayin and chet). Elisha, Maybe the answer to this is the answer to cable, such as in the case of a slandered name. and sweet?” I tried to imagine the taste without Yishmael’s father, was very careful to go to the our original questions: Were my prayers an- Lashon Hara, we know all too well from history, taking a bite of his apple. mikvah regularly. Initially, however, none of the swered? Will my commitments to change work? daily life and even US Weekly, can cause dam- My father caught up to the kids who had run children born to him and his wife survived. His Will G-d accept my teshuvah? How will I know age impossible to repair. ahead to another tree. I pulled out the camera wife asked him, “Why do all these other righ- what I need to do to actualize the things I’ve According to Rabbi Aryeh Gotlieb, Rabbi to capture the moment. teous people have children, and we do not even prayed for and personally committed to do in Emeritus of the Jewish Community Center in Optional forgiveness, I thought. Maybe that have one?” this coming year? Paramus, known in our home as Saba Saba was what it looks like. He answered, “Because they and their wives If we are willing to sacrifi ce our hearts and — he is the father of my stepfather — it is Wishing The Jewish St ar writers, readers are very careful about going to the mikvah; they souls for G-d, we’ll be moving in the proper di- the victim that determines the permanence of and their families a Gmar Chatima Tova. observe it with their lives on the line.” rection. How do we achieve that…? the damage. Again, the power is placed in the She said, “We too will observe this as if our Let us contemplate this thought during hands of the victim. Ilya Welfeld stops to cherish the chaos, writ- lives depend on it.” They accepted upon them- Neilah, to inspire ourselves for the coming year. It seems almost an unfair burden to place on ing for The Jewish Star about balancing work, life selves to do so. someone who is suffering. and faith. Email her at [email protected]. Let us take a pause and remember that the Yet, experts agree, holding a grudge does mikvaot in those days were not like the heated, QUALITY PRINTING ale a div. of Richner Communications, Inc S • 81/2 X 11 FLYERS • 50# Offset • 4 Color Process • 2 Sided Printing No setup charges if fi les are prepared in PDF format • Bleeds add just $6 per M. • 60# coated 2 side stock, add just $15 per M. 10,000 COLOR FLYERS e-mail Jackie at [email protected] $ Lenny Koegel • 516-594-6010 questions call 516-569-4000 ext 262 Serving the Five Towns & Surrounding Areas Since 1988 • We do repairs Send us your printing specs for prompt estimate. ONLY 375 www.distinctivewindowfashions.com 401201 6 Not joyful Drinking still illegal for minors on Simchat Torah By Malka Eisenberg houses for Yom Tov. Kids from out Rabbi Glatt praised local shuls for taking 10 or 12, he explained. of the neighborhood come with- “strong measures.” The risk of sudden death “It is diffi cult and often impossible to Excessive drinking, especially in mi- out their parents for from excess alcohol is “thankfully rare but tell young people that they must stay home nors, more than dilutes the joy of Simchat Simchat Torah and should not be just dismissed.” on Simchat Torah,” said Mandel. He sug- Torah. It is also dangerous and illegal. many parents are The Young Israel of Woodmere, Congre- gested that parents offer their home for the Since 2007, in Nassau County, “it is a unaware of their gation Aish Kodesh and Yeshiva Sh’or Yo- children’s friends to spend several hours violation of the Social Host Law if a par- obligations to these shuv have instituted poli- on Simchat Torah and ty host knowingly allows an underage minor children.” cies of not serving liquor. “provide refreshments.” person to drink alcohol,” explained Under the leg- “Clearly the action Although some children Chris Munzing, deputy director islation, hosts taken by shuls in recent Under the might not appreciate the of communications for who do serve al- years to reduce or elimi- offer, Mandel says, others the Nassau County cohol to minors nate wine and liquor at will. District Attorney, can face criminal kiddushim has a positive legislation, hosts “You as a parent will Kathleen Rice. penalties — in- effect and a signifi cant know where the children Munzing said that formation that is change for the better,” who do serve are and other parents will THE JEWISH STAR THE JEWISH 9 TISHREI 5771 2010 17, September there are currently especially relevant said David Mandel, chief be deeply grateful,” Man- 22 open Social Host for Simchat Torah. executive offi cer of Ohel del explained. cases. The law, which “It is a major Children’s Home and Fam- alcohol to minors He noted that setting was passed in 2008, problem,” stressed ily Services. “At the same limits for an adolescent does not cover “any- Rabbi Dr. Aaron time, it doesn’t completely can face criminal has limits. “It’s just as thing that is a religious Glatt, assistant eliminate the opportunity hard as a parent to set ceremony,” according rabbi at the Young for drinking or alcohol- rules for that day that the to Munzing, and “a Israel of Wood- ism for those who choose penalties — a law child hasn’t heard or fol- glass of wine at the sed- mere. “It’s a chillul to or really want to drink. lowed the other 364 days er is not a violation.” Hashem (desecration The problem of drinking especially relevant of the year,” he said. “Be “People should be aware of G-d’s name) above ev- is exacerbated on days practical in your conver- that there are issues in al- erything else. It’s dan- like Simchat Torah and to Simchat Torah. sation and expectations.” lowing minors to consume gerous medically. The Purim among some, both A parent has alcohol,” explained Michael person is rendered inca- because of its popularity the “right and obligation Fragin, a trustee of the Vil- pable of doing the time in excess including drinking and also it is to supervise and know where your child lage of Lawrence. “It’s dependent mitzvoth (com- either tolerated or can be hidden.” is,” stressed Mandel. “G-d forbid Hatzalah not just moral and mandments) and forcing Mandel urged parents and community should call you. You can ‘check in’ on your medical, but crimi- Hatzalah and doctors to be members to be more vigilant at these times, child on Simchat Torah without hovering nal issues as well. mechalel Yom Tov (desecrate especially where there is a young person and making your child nervous with your Kids are camp- the holiday)… It’s a horrible, with leanings toward alcohol consumption. presence.” ing out in people’s terrible thing on any level.” Drinking to excess can begin as early as age

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McCarthy, Weisenberg returns September 17, 2010 9 TISHREI 5771

By the Jewish Star Staff

County Legislator Fran Becker will get his chance to challenge Congresswoman Carolyn McCarthy in November. Becker is the Republican candidate for the 4th Congr essional District seat. The six-term mem- Election ’10 ber of the Nassau County Legisla- ture trounced opponent Frank Scatturo, 10,361 to 7,733, according to unofﬁ cial FRAN BECKER HARVEY tallies from the Nassau County Board of 4th Congressional WEISENBERG Elections. District 20th Assembly Voter grumbling about salary and challenger District incumbent pension double-dipping were clearly not enough to keep incumbent Assembly- man Harvey Weisenberg from winning college and helping his son with his golf a chance at reelection. He defeated for- game. mer County Legislator Jeff Toback for the “The highlight of my night was the performance in the Five Towns. My Democratic nomination for the 20th As- *1st Suit must be **Higher price prevails.NoTwo Sales CanBe Combined. friends are still supportive,” Toback said. bought at If first suit is returned the 2free suits will be charged at sembly District, 3,569 to 2,354. suggested retail price. full price.No prior purchases.Exp.9/22/2010 Weisenberg, reached after the elec- “The lesson I learned is Harvey has 60 tion, said he was going to “ﬁ ght like hell years of goodwill and that goes a long for my people.” way. You discount it at your own risk.” “I’m going to do what I do best,” In the 3rd Congressional District, Weisenberg said. “I’m going to Albany to longtime Republican incumbent Peter I LYNBROOK I 5-TOWNS I MONSEY I UNION, NJ represent my people.” He will face Josh King won easily, soaring to a 16,064 to 55 Atlantic Ave. 252-18 Rockaway Blvd. 414 Route 59 2470 Route 22 Wanderer in November. 1,567 victory over challenger Robert Pre- (516) 596-2741 (718) 949-0350 (845) 425-3375 (908) 810-0060 vidil. Toback said he didn’t have future PATCHOGUE - WOODHAVEN-SELDEN - CARLE PLACE FARMINGDALE plans save for visiting his daughter in 403019

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Photo by Claudio Papapietro Jay Feinberg, executive director of Gift of Life, spoke to students at the Stella K. Abraham (SKA) High School for Girls on Sept. 13, 2010.

THE JEWISH STAR THE JEWISH 9 TISHREI 5771 2010 17, September The Gift of Life Jay Feinberg wants to be your Jewish hero By Michael Orbach three years, but after that would probably become ineffective, he was told. The doctor At the cozy restored mansion in Hewlett advised him to go home and make a bucket that houses the Stella K. Abraham (SKA) list of everything he wanted to do before he High School for Girls, Jay Feinberg, execu- kicked the bucket, as the expression goes, tive director of the Gift of Life, was convinc- and do them in those three years. After that, ing the roughly 200 girls in the auditorium doctors would reassess what methods could to vote for him. Feinberg wasn’t running for be used to fi ght his cancer. However, the doc- political offi ce, but on a quest to capture one tor did offer one slight ray of hope. of the top 20 spaces on the Jewish Commu- “Transplants can save your life,” Feinberg 403174 nity Heroes contest. said the doctor told him. “But, you’ll never The contest, sponsored by The Jewish get one, since you’re Jewish.” Federation of North America, is conducted The doctor was not being anti-Semitic; he through online voting. As of The Jewish was simply pointing to the fact that at the Star’s press deadline on Wednesday after- time of Feinberg’s diagnosis in 1991, very few noon, Feinberg was safely ensconced in sec- possible Jewish donors were in the existing ond place with over 9,000 votes. The top 20 bone marrow registries. The doctor didn’t vote getters present at an annual Jewish Fed- count on one factor, however. eration meeting and possibly win $25,000 “The power of the Jewish mother,” Fein- for their organization. berg told the audience. “She wasn’t going to Feinberg knows exactly what he would see her son die.” use the money for. The Gift of Life is a bone The Feinberg family began a marathon of marrow registry. Bone marrow comprises the bone marrow drives across the United States, stem cells found inside large bones that pro- Canada and Israel. Even the tiny Jewish com- duce the components of blood — red, white munity in Tokyo held one. At the time, sam- and platelet cells. Bone marrow transfers are ples were obtained through blood samples an effective treatment for a number of can- instead of the easy cheek swabs. Over 60,000 cers. Possible donors are tested through a people were tested in 240 drives. cheek swab, each at a cost of $54 to process. After four years the chemotherapy be- Winning the contest, Feinberg explained on came ineffective but Feinberg still did not Monday, Sept. 13, would mean “450 cheek have a match. The Wisconsin Institute for swabs.” Torah Study, a small yeshiva of 130 students Feinberg delivered his speech during the held one of the fi nal drives. At the last min- Aseret Y’mei Teshuva, the 10 days of repen- ute one of the volunteer organizers couldn’t tance that began with Rosh Hashanah and make it and his sister took his place. The sis- will culminate with Yom Kippur this week- ter was afraid of needles but at the last min- end, since the school had chosen Gift of Life ute decided to get tested. She was Feinberg’s Very competitive rates as the charity they would raise money for perfect match. during the school’s annual tzedaka campaign. “That’s the reason I’m here today.” Fein- “Last year, our community became more berg explained. aware of the need for a larger bone mar- After his successful transplant, Feinberg row donor registry,” Rabbi Yosef Zakutinsky continued to the organization his family of SKA explained. “In addition, we were so founded. awed and inspired by Jay Feinberg’s story, “I couldn’t let what we created vanish,” he and felt the need to spread awareness and said. raise funds for his fantastic organization.” So far the organization has over 170,000 Production facilities available As for stories, Feinberg has a compel- possible bone marrow donors in its registry; ling one. As he explained to the audience, he hopes to eventually have 300,000. he was not coming as the executive director Though while he’s aiming to be a Jewish of the Gift of Life, but as a cancer survivor. community hero, Feinberg maintains that he For more information call TALKLINE COMMUNICATIONS is an agency At 22, he recalled, “Everything was going himself is not a hero; the donors are. As an specializing in matching broadcasters along great,” until he found himself in the example he pointed to a red haired teacher with radio and TV stations leasing time 212.769.1925 emergency room with a doctor who was ex- in the audience: Yael Gelernter, a Tanach plaining that he had leukemia. Later at the teacher, whose husband, Eli, has been a bone Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center, marrow donor on two separate occasions. TALKLINE 1-866-MY TV SHOW Feinberg’s situation proceeded to get worse. “You’re saving someone’s life,” Gelernter COMMUNICATIONS NETWORK email:[email protected] Chemotherapy would work for him for explained. “It’s painful, but it’s worth it.” 334607

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Here are some: As a result, each sinks into a state of self-in- “In the spirit of experimentation, I put to- duced oblivion: Noah through alcohol, Jonah gether a list contemporary Al Chets to elab- through a coma-like slumber.” orate on the sin of chillul Hashem that we This message is, “especially relevant to confess to transgressing each year. This time, Yom Kippur, the day in the I’ve translated the introductory expression Jewish calendar that has to refl ect the plurality of sin been set aside for self-trans- rather than its singularity. formation,” Klitsner contin- For our sin of thinking ues. “The book of Jonah, as that ethics is someone else’s subversive sequel to the story issue. of the inevitable destruction For our sin of believing in the days of Noah, challeng- that we can wrong others es its readers to view them- without corroding our own selves as endlessly capable of souls. rewriting their own stories in For our sin of making radically new ways.” Jewish affl uence a bigger In other words, teshuvah. priority than Jewish good- Here we see these two ness. ancient personalities linked For our sin of thinking thematically together to that Jewish education is not teach profound lessons in about values education. the art of teshuvah for us to For our sin of cheating on ponder during Yom Kippur. a test because we thought A read of this chapter in this that a grade was more im- very challenging book should serve to give portant than our integrity. you a portrait of what constitutes a “subver- For our sin of not working harder to im-

sive sequel” and its importance to the lessons prove the reputation of our people in the 403175 of repentance. world every day.” The other book, “Confronting Scandal: In reality, this list can be endless. This is How Jews Can Respond When Jews Do Bad the human condition: we are indeed frail Things” by Dr. Erica Brown [Jewish Lights, creatures in need of a cure. This is the chal- 2010], skillfully uses the Yom Kippur liturgy lenge that this book presents to us. of Al Chet to highlight the monumental chil- This is a timely challenge. If you do not lul Hashem of the criminal behavior of some believe me, read the daily papers and listen within our religious community. to the news. These sordid stories involve Each chapter is highlighted by the com- wealthy businessmen, prominent rabbis, munal Al Chet response that is linked to the teachers and housewives — the full gamut of particular chapter’s content. The communal society. No sector is immune and all have to shame is dealt with in a forthright manner, account. Yom Kippur is a major part of that with issues like mesira, informing on a fellow accounting to G-d. We are left to deal with Jew, and chillul Hashem, desecration of G-d’s the rest by ourselves. name, discussed and dealt with in a mature Have a meaningful fast and a happy, and dispassionate way. healthy and prosperous new year. 11 Ask Aviva THE JEWISH STAR Cut out the sarcasm setting, it will heal without much scarring. other person? I guarantee that this smile will the elderly? Or to your mailman? Are you se-

Dear Aviva, I was doing some thinking and just came You can involve your wife with this exercise be exponentially wider than a reaction to rious with your doctor? Pinpoint one person September 17, 2010 9 TISHREI 5771 to a realization. I have a very particular way and let her be a safe outlet for being serious. your typical comments. Or maybe it’s not the whom you are serious with. If you can’t even of relating to people — I always have some Defi ne to her what is unsafe for you and have smile and laughter that is reinforcing your think of one person, think of someone whom quip or sarcastic retort to offer, and I realized her avoid doing that. I personally am not so way of relating to people. Maybe you are you are a smidge less sarcastic to. Then pay that it’s insulting to others. I’m very funny, into this school of thought. I’m not saying reinforced by the split-second look of shock attention to yourself. When you are talking but I’m also biting because my humor can be that it’s bogus, I just think there are other that the person shows. I can’t think of a so- to this person, are you breathing faster or hurtful. My wife and friends laugh along, but ways to effectively and ef- cially appropriate replace- slower than normal? Are your hands open I don’t want to be hurting people so much. I fi ciently solve your prob- ment for shocking people or clenched in fi sts? Are you focused on one feel like I can’t be serious and I think I don’t lem. But if you feel like this (other than throwing a topic or are you letting the conversation wan- know of any other way to relate to others. Do fi ts for you, go for it. It can When you’re surprise party, or pounc- der? you have any advice? even strengthen your mar- ing out from behind the Whatever it is that is different with riage if done properly. Try hanging out, stay bushes with fl owers and this person than with others is your key to —Last one laughing any of Harville Hendrix’s chocolates). So if it is the change. Now replicate this difference when books. shock that is fueling your you are talking with everyone else. Dear Last one laughing, Next up, we have quiet. Keep your bite, I recommend looking And now the school of thought that is Sounds like you don’t joke around when the Behavioral school of at your shoes when you not subject to any verifi able research: Aviva’s it comes to honest self-awareness. And if tim- thought. It doesn’t really make your offensive quips. Intuition. (Try this only if the others don’t ing is everything, you have perfect timing for matter how you started mouth shut and This way you will not see work.) When you’re hanging out, stay quiet. taking a self-account, seeing as Yom Kippur this cycle of sarcasm. What the shock and will not be Keep your mouth shut and just observe and is in the air. matters is that it is an on- just observe and reinforced. The behavior smile. Open your mouth only if you have So let’s get to work. There are a number of going, present issue for should extinguish itself. something informative to add. If it’s hard ways that you could approach this, depend- you. Something within the The underbelly of the not to say something cutting just bite your ing on what school of thought you hold by. interaction is reinforcing smile... Bite your Behavioral technique is tongue, literally (and gently). And you may I’ll lay them on the table for you and you can the behavior. Your goal is punishment. If the fi rst get that reinforcement from the shocked look choose which is the best fi t for cutting out to fi gure out what that re- two suggestions don’t on your friends’ faces when you don’t have the sarcasm. inforcement is. It could be tongue, literally. work, try an aversive tech- anything to say. Psychoanalytic/Neo-Freudian/Object-Re- that the reinforcement is nique: Where a rubber lations: Perhaps you are hiding behind your coming from you or from the other person. band around your wrist and snap it every —Aviva humor. What is it that you are hiding? Did When you make a comment that is snide, it is time you open your mouth the wrong way you have negative associations with being se- also humorous, so it probably evokes a smile until you are Mr. Genial. Ouch! rious that stem from your past (even as far or guffaw from the other person. Maybe that The next school of thought is one that I Aviva Rizel has received her Master’s back as your childhood)? The negative asso- is your reinforcement. Is there another way was trained in: Solution Focused. Let’s fi nd in marriage and family therapy from ciation to being serious is like a wound that is to get the same reaction? Can you take up the exception to your insulting humor. Is Hofstra University and sees couples, trying to heal. If you are serious in a positive telling neutral jokes about anonymous third- there ever a time when you do not relate to families and individuals. She can be parties? Can you use your wit to uplift the someone this way? Do you talk like this to reached at [email protected].

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13 South Shore THE JEWISH STAR Opinion Neuropsychiatric Center Finally, an alternative to anti depressants medication and ECT: Israel, land of refuge (not only for Jews) Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS) Therapy.

September 17, 2010 9 TISHREI 5771 uleiman Yahya Ishaq is dead, shot at the nection to their land. Find out more about us at www.southshoretms.com age of 25 by Egyptian police. They shot These are Sudanese refugees seeking asy- S him in the head and then riddled his body lum in Israel because they have heard the truth with bullets. They shot him because he was or- about Israel. They risk their lives to enter Israel • 40 minute dered to stop — and he refused. because in Israel people can live free. They do outpatient procedure Ishaq, a Sudanese refugee, was attempt- not care that Israel is a Jewish state; they care ing to escape from Egypt into Israel. He al- about freedom. Suleiman Yahya Ishaq did not most made it. Sudan and Egypt are Muslim make it, but thousands of refugees from Sudan • No side effects such as countries. Conditions in Sudan are so horrifi c have. Ishaq was the 35th person to be shot dead that Sudanese Muslims on the Egyptian side of the fence. Hundreds weight gain or sexual regularly risk their lives have been wounded. To Israel’s credit, the peo- dysfunction associated I’M THINKING crossing into Egypt, and ple of Sudan are not sent away after they have risk their lives again crossed the border. The Egyptian border treats crossing through Egypt their Sudanese Muslim cousins much less kind- with anti-depressants into Israel, where they ly than the Israelis treat these strangers in their fi nally fi nd refuge. In the midst. The Egyptians think little of shooting the Jewish State, the people Sudanese they catch. From their side of the bor- • Safe and effective of Sudan feel safe. der, Israel can actually watch the migrants as The trip is as dif- they make their way to the border. They watch fi cult physically as it is as the Egyptian army attacks the refugees. Is- • Administered by Licensed emotionally. Maps can raeli border patrols cannot stop the Egyptians professionals trained in convey the distance be- from shooting the defenseless Sudanese — that tween Sudan and Israel, would cause an international incident. On their TMS Therapy but they cannot convey own side of the border, the government of Israel the dangers or explain has begun the humanitarian process of grant- Edward Fruitman, MD. the logic that motivates ing asylum and refugee status to their Sudanese Muslims to cross des- guests. Medical Director at South Shore Micah D. Halpern erts, fi ght off thieves and The Sudanese in Israel are not security Neuropsychiatric Center soldiers as they fl ee to threats. They are not terrorists or drug traffi ck- Israel. We cannot com- ers. They are people escaping death and search- and Board Certifi ed Psychiatrist prehend the fear and yearning that motivates ing for life and refuge. Life means Israel. Death Sudanese people to give up their homes in one is the Arab land they are escaping. Israel is the Arab country, illegally pass through another beacon of hope for parts of the Arab world. Is- 1451 Broadway Hewlett, NY 11557 and fulfi ll their dreams in Israel. rael is worth risking your life for — not only What have they heard about the Jewish by Jews. State that so entices the Sudanese to seek ref- Micah D. Halpern is a columnist and a social (516) 295-4867 uge there? They are not secret Jews who have and political commentator. Read his latest book been taught about the holiness of Israel or the THUGS. He maintains The Micah Report at

[email protected] 403223 uniqueness of the Jewish people and their con- www.micahhalpern.com.

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EDITOR/ REPORTER Herald Community Newspapers seeks an experienced journalist to re- 26TH ANNUAL port for and edit one of our newspapers. The focus of our paper is community news; on the people in the FIVE TOWNS neighborhoods we serve, covering the schools, events, government and the people, places and events that COMMUNITY CHEST FAIR make our communities tick. Qualifi ed candidates must have at least two years of newspaper or wire service experience in reporting and editing. Long Island residents a strong plus. Candidates must have driver's li- Join us as we celebrate the cense, own car and cell phone. As a THE JEWISH STAR THE JEWISH 9 TISHREI 5771 2010 17, September community journalist, you will be re- 100th Anniversary of the Powerwashing quired to cover meetings and other evening events in the local commu- Village of Cedarhurst Available nity. Good salary and benefi ts. Quali- fi ed applicants should e-mail their resume and salary requirements to Free [email protected] with EDITOR/ Estimates REPORTER position as the subject line. MUST SUBMIT YOUR SALARY REQUIRMENTS. No phone calls, GAMES - RIDES please. Dates ENTERTAINMENT

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347-789-6779 FAX: 718-434-0835 401183 15 THE JEWISH STAR TALKINE with Edited by Miriam L. Wallach TCN ZEV BRENNER That’s life America’s leading Jewish radio & TV program for over 3 decades Dear That’s Life,

So, with our ﬁ rst three-day chag over, is I was digging into my honey cake. Bizarrely More informative than September 17, 2010 9 TISHREI 5771 it just me, or does anyone else feel like a fat thin women who look like they could use a pig? It’s not just the overeating that does me meal at my table graced the pages of many in, but also all of the sitting and being seden- a periodical that was delivered to my home. tary that makes me feel like I could qualify I would not be deterred — these women a trip to the mikva as a ﬂ oat in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Pa- cannot be happy, I reasoned. Who could be rade. It would be Snoopy, Kermit the Frog happy being so thin that a gust of wind could and me. The best part of this eating insan- blow you away? ity is that there is no end in sight. With two That’s not a way to live. Come to my “Intelligent more three-day chagim headed our way, my house; let me feed you. Want some chulent? talk radio” waistline is taking a beating. On the other hand, the U.S. Open was be- Alan Dershowitz “A heck of a

A non-Jewish friend of mine is convinced ing played as I was contemplating whether good show” 334554 that Judaism is not conducive to being thin. one more piece of kugel was really going to Ed Koch With two large, sit-down, multiple-course kill me. These athletic, toned and muscular meals served weekly, it’s an uphill battle to women clearly need to eat and must work off “I’m watching the keep one’s weight steady. How are Jews sup- every bit of food that they consume. There Zev Brenner show” posed to be thin, he wondered out loud, when had to be a happy medium, I thought. I was Jackie Mason there is so much that is centered around eat- not going to be a Kim Clijsters nor do I want ing? Our eating habits are not our biggest to be, but I did not want to be Brooklyn Deck- problem, I argued. We have other crosses to er either. Frankly, there has to be a way to bear, if you’ll forgive the expression. And of have my cake and eat it, too. course, there are good choices to be made — Checking my email right after Shabbat, I Saturday Night 12 Midnight-2 AM WMCA 570 AM Mon-Thurs 9-10 PM WSNR 620 AM celery to munch on, plenty of water to drink sifted through the messages that awaited me. Radio Sunday 11 PM-Midnight WRNN Ch. 48 Metro NY (Cablevision Ch. 19 (LI Ch. 48), Time Warner Ch. 91, and blah, blah, blah. The bottom line is that Like a voice from beyond, a Weight Watchers RCN Ch. 16, Direct TV Ch. 62, Dish TV Ch. 8116) if I want another piece of challah, shmeared “chizuk” email was in my inbox, ready to give Sunday 9-10 PM, 11 PM-Midnight, 1-2 AM JLTV Nationwide (Time Warner NY Ch. 120, Time Warner S. CA (incl. LA) Ch. 177, Direct TV Ch. 36, with honey, I am going to have it. Sue me. me pointers and low-cal recipes and here to Comcast Cable of S. Florida Ch. 239 TV Sunday 9-10 AM & 3-4 PM Time Warner Manhattan It was right before Thanksgiving a couple tell me I am not alone. I know I’m not alone, Ch. 35 Friday 11AM-12 Noon Time Warner Manhattan of years ago when a non-Jewish coworker I thought — I’ve been sitting in shul for three Catch more Ch. 35 of mine was visibly at her wits’ end by the days with hundreds of other bloated people. TCN time she made it to work. Apparently, she Duh. programming was having 20 people for Thanksgiving din- Don’t worry: I get it, I get it. As someone Weeknights...... 7 PM - 1 AM Friday ...... 8 AM-12 noon Listen online anytime: www.talklinecommunications.com ner and was completely overwhelmed by the told me years ago, weight loss is like religion: on Time Warner Man. Saturday ...... 10 PM -3 AM www.Facebook.com/pages/Talkline-with-Zev-Brenner www.Twitter.com/TalkLineNetwork size of the meal, the shopping, the prepara- You can always come back. So in this Sunday: ...... 2-5 PM tion and the clean up that she knew would week of returning and repentance, here’s to follow such a meal. I looked at her, put my a new commitment to being a better Jew and To advertise on Talkline with Zev Brenner, contact us at 212-769-1925, 866-JEWISH RADIO or e-mail [email protected] arm around her and said, “Honey, it’s called a more sensible eater. After all, both one’s in- ‘Shabbos’ and we do it every week.” side and outside should look and feel good. Ironically enough, local newspapers were covering Fashion Week in New York City as MLW is there a doctor Sukkot in in the house? South Shore Rebbe Eli Herzberg helped his students at the Yeshiva of South Shore pick an esrog for Suk- kot. In Good Health Chari Pere Medical professionals and health-related businesses, reserve your space now! Monthly special sections, all this year in

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