Tightbeam 215 For Memhers ofthe Jliationul Fmua:.y Fa11 Federation

.lamwry /999 TABLE OF CONTENTS

President's Message by Susan Van Schuyver ...... 1 The Amazing World of Trading Cards by Beth Phillips .2 Letters of Comment: Mark Nielsen . . . . • ...... • . . . . 4 Angela K. Scott-Gosnell ...... •..•. 5 Meeting John Inman III by Dorothy Kurtz •...... 7 Red Dwarf: Season Flve Summary by LaVern Loretz, Jr. 14 Notes from the Swamp: Editorial . • . . • 1 6 Bo~k Review . . . . • ...... • . . . . . 17 Artists: Front cover, P. 1, 3, 6 •.. Robert S. Miller III P. 13...... Angela K. Scott-Gosnell Back cover. • . . . . • . . • . . Ruth M. Shields Tightbeam #215 was completed on January 14, 1999. Current Tightbeam editor is Janine Stinson, PO Box 430314, Big Pine Key, FL 33043-0314. Please address all submissions and any questions concerning Tight­ beam to its editor. All opinions expressed in Letters of Comment, reviews and conreps are those of the writers and do not reflect the opinions of the staff of Tigbtbeam or the officers or other members of N3F. Publisher: Howard DeVore 4705 Weddel St. Dearborn, MI 48125-3033 Printing: Craig Boyd All mat eri al was contributed for one-time usa only and the copyright belongs to the contributor. PRESIDENT'S MESSAGE by Susan VanSchuyver Welcome to 1999! I hope you all had a nice holiday season and are working ha rd on those resolutions! (gr~n--I have never done resolutions--not sure why . ) This seems l i ke a good t ime t o tal k about hopes and d reams for N3F. Wha t is t he fut ure of our wonder ful organization? The i mmediate fut ur e will bring a cont i nuing need to c ut costs or to continue t he cost-cutting measures we have stertcd such as mailing :tiqhtbeam and 'l'Nrt' together. On the positive side, I would like to see more people participat e in the zines either through shor t LoC ' s (since we can' t afford lengthy ones), bureau reports, or ot her means. Angela scott recommended that more people be ment ioned in the zines. One idea she had was to do short biographies of people. 1 could do that as part of the Round Robin Bureau Report, or we could even start a new bureau called Membe r Bi ographies. The Bureau Head could collect information about members and wr i te up a few short biographies every othe r month. Does anyone want to give that a' t ry? Any other ideas to get more people i nvolved in t he club and t o get more people mentioned in t he zines? If you have other ideas you wan t to discuss with me, pl ease write t o one of my addresses print ed on the inside f ront cover of TNFF.

1 The Amazing World of Trading Cards! by Beth Phillips

I have recently received aany, aany new (new to me but some ArJl recent releases) trading cards. It's still groat fun. I just got rid of a bunch of stuff .•• actually had a bit of room ..• then someone "dumped" JK+ singles/200+ wrappers on me. Had lotsa fun going through it all, too. some crap, soae worthless, some OK, " some good cards in the big box. I hope to coaplete several "new" sets soon. In TB 1211, Janine asked for trading card arcana to be explained. Don't know if it CAn be. (Btw, I had to look up "arcana" - isn't that pitiful?) For me personally, it's having trading cards, owning 72 or 90 (actually 89 if there's a checklist but sometimes the checklist has art on it) pieces of art. some of it is stunning - Bob Eggleton comes to mind, he's a genius! An incredible artist. I also l ike Brom, Chris Foss, Bernie Wrightson, John Berkey (also stunning) , Darrell K. Sweet, Don Maitz, Tia White, Luis Royo, Boris Vallejo, Julie Bell, Larry Elmore, & the list goes on & on ••. can't forget Frank Frazetta. There are some new artists that are great, too. As for movie or TV show cards, I have no explanation other than a certain "love• for the movie &/or show. some stuff j ust has a visceral effect that's hard to ignore. I recently r eceived some Pepsi cards, Miller Beer cards & Coca-cola pogs. The first t wo really appealed to me, so now I 'm trying to complet e the sets. What are they? The various advertisements from over the years. I'• planning to do the Coca-Cola ones, too, but there are 11 different sets! I have a lot of cards - 25 three-ring binders f ull, plus 200 or so in a box, but I'm selective about what I collect. Qnl¥ what I like (that visceral effect). I've come across people who collect everything that comes out & that's tQna of cards. Can't figure out how they cart enjoy it. Then t here are the people in it only for the money - they take a lot of the fun out of the trade. They don't understand the DAaa - trading cards - just want money. I've l earned great P.,tience with this hobby - it can take a year or more to complete any given set. I've had a couple sets that take just over a year to complete & then happiness ensues. About the only thing I have no interest in are the comics ca.rds -- Spiderman, Supenoan, etc. Now, this is just the non- sport card hobby, there's a whole other world of cards out there that I dare not (& don't want to) dwell in -- the sports cards. I also found a love tor "colossal" cards, trading cards almost the size of a comic book.I have only a few from the Keith Parkinson set but I love them! They're like blow-ups of the smaller cards & then I sigh because all the cards aren't that big. You get to see all the missed detail from the saall cards. They are fabulous. The newest " fad" is the autograph cards - they're a real bear to collect these chase cards (so naaed 'cause you have to chase after them to get them; some people c all them special 2 cards), because no one wants to trade them, only sell them. The 2 newest Star Trek sets have 26 autograph cards per set (with a Jrd set of 26 aore due out soon). Shatner's card seeas to be the aost coveted (don't know why) & therefore costs $350-500. That l eaves a lot of collectors in the dark because it's not affordable. The Season 4 BaDylon 5 cards had 10 autograph cards. From my 2 boxes I got ona Bruce Boxleitner and traded it for a Pat Tallman card. 1 like P.T. better than B.S. & the girl I traded with is a huqa 8.8. fan, so we both benefitted. I know there's no way I'll ever collect all 10 & it doesn't bother me one bit. I saw an ad in a magazine where a guy had 7 (I) of the autograph 85 sots at $1,000 par su~. outrageous. The Trek auto sets (if you can afford the sat) go tor around $3,000 (add up the prices of all the different cards) and people pay it! some people are just too fanatical in their pursui t of absolute completion. /~ Letters of Comment1w1/

Mark Nielsen f i rst scene. Makes you think PO Box 482 about t he r eal prices of war Maho•et IL 61853 and takes the "hawk" right out Ed Meskys: I know of one of you. Hopefully some other black s f aut hor, who govern111ent officials will see • ight be considered !llajor or it. War is sometime s not. He is Steve Barnes, who necessary, but not merely t o has written several cyber punk make a political point. novels wi t h a black Often friends and family supe.rsoldier-type protagonist. worry about how they shoul d sounds as if octavia behave around the mentally ill. Butler is using science f iction Sometimes they tip toe around t o make soc ial e Ktrapolations the person, as if they we re and commentary. 'rhe synopsis made of gl ass. But a strong (The Parabl e of' tbg Sowgr) you s ense of self, coupled with a gave sounded pro•ising. This willi ngness to share eraoti ons sort of story soJ>etimes works and time with the mentally ill for me a nd sometimes not. I person in an appropriate thi nk Urs ula LeGui n does it lllanner, can help defray the quite well. tension . sometime s, humor can Science fiction wh ich help ( so111etimes not) . Also, f eatures a dystopia (or maybe i t will help t o realize negative fut ure) have become they have a physical illness yet another cl i che. But s f is caused by an i mbalance of brain populated by c liche . As long chemicals, and not a character as the s t ory has something else weakness. The mentally ill positi ve to offer , I don't mi nd a re, in general, no more at this convention. For example, f ault for their condition than I really enjoyed Paul McAuley' s someone with anot he.r chronic short story "Seventeen" in illness such as diabetes or ASimov's SF Magazine a couple heart di sease. of mont hs ago and you couldn't Davis L. Travi s: As you say, get muc h bl eaker than that. At many mushrooms do look like the &ame t i me, I couldn't stand penises, but I was i nteres t ed the same author's dystopian to see, when I consult ed a teKt novel fll i ryland. Maybe it was on mushr oo.a and related the thelllatic focus t hat made fungus , that a nulllber of t hem the d ifference. f airyland was are s tar shaped as well. much mor e nihilis tic in t one Here' s a related j oke I wrote a and direction. number of years ago: Why was susan van Schuyver: "Gattica" t he mushroom so popular? was auch more like writt.en Answer : He was a t ·ungi . science fict ion than your Perhaps you should try a average film. I t made some subscription to SP Age (or at extrapol ations of s c i ence and least r ead a few issues ). The then s howed the ettect of that editor of that magazine has a sci ence upon its characters. markedly different t ast e i n 1 • savinq Pri vat e Ryan t was storie s than Gardner oozois, rather realis tic, at l east the one that i s more centrally part

4 ot the genre of sf. While I levels, factors in and kinds of prefer Aaiiii()V 's, SF Age is a depression. Diagnosis and help real alternative prozine if you is available and should not be are looking ••• something one feels asbaaed It's incredible how many sf about. Many do not seek help books are produced in a year's that they need and deserve. time. You can only read so [Aman to that! -Ed.] many • •• Susan Van Schuyver: I hope Do you have access to the I can be of soae help to you. Internet? If so, I can If I didn't have the love and recolllmend Allazon. com for lllail understanding of family (some order books. The prices are who suffer from depression comparable with the local book also) and oaring, patient shop when you include shipping friends, I would not have aade and handling. it this tar. Ny husband bas learned a lot about aental Angela K. Scott- Gosnell illness (even before our P.O. Box 6431 marriage) mainly fro• pt. Hood, TX 76544-6431 experience, a lso from written (This arrived too late to run materials and my the.rapy. He in TB #214 , so it's running told me he wanted to support me here. Apologies, Angela. -Ed.] and help me all that he could, Happy Holidays! Yes, the but ho was not going to be my joys of the holidays are again "crutch." Sometimes the line is here. I'd like to say, though, blurred between being that these times of cheer can supportive and supporting the indeed bring great despair to depressant completely. It's an people who are alone, tacing unhealthy role to take on too hard times, are ailing or much, to live the depressant's struggling with mental illness. life and help too much. The lie all need to reach out to depressant IIUSt be their own others -- and not only during person and take responsibility the "holidays of charity.• for themselves. They need to In TB, I've written about receive professional diagnosis the little-understood suffering and treatment and to do so may of those with mental illness, need help, must have as I myself am a depressant. encouragement, and it may help It's a struggle faced by many, to be present with the yet remains largely silenced. depressant for an appointment. [Not anymore, Angela. I A depressant may need to recently saw an public service be monitored, esp. where announceJIIeDt for clinical aedication whicb must be depression on one of the major consistently taken is involved. cable channels. More and more Offer emotional support with people are realizing that patience, affection, and trust. clinical depression isn't rare Engage in conversation and or unusual. The help is out listen with care. Don't there, folks, and sometimes disparage feelings, yet point it's only a phone call away. - out realities, positivity, and Ed.] offer hope. Do not ignore Rick Brooks: I don't know remarks about suicide or self­ if you received treatment at destruction. Invite the any point, but I'm glad it's depressant for walks, outings, improved. There are various and other activiti es, and if s they refuse, be gently (usually we have enough persistent (often we isolate f eelings of hatred) • Be ourselves, but being alone so r eassuring, and be bette r much is not good ) . But don • t educa ted about mental illness push them: too many demands may in general, f o r the c ause the depr essant to feel understa nding will be apparent wor se. Though divers ion and to t h e depressant and you'll be compa ny is needed , it ca n't be better able t o h elp them. Most forced. of a ll, be there, a nd have Don't mi nimize their sincerity and ca ring in your suffe r ing or make t hem feel h eart. Love is t he l i ght ami dst wrong or gui lty i n any way the d espairing blackness wi thi n • ..w e all need l ove .

6 t ook the Underground to covent MEETING JOHN INMAN Garden and v isited the Theatre Ill : THE SEARCH FOR Mu seum, Russell St., WC2E 7PA. This is an interesting WOLVERHAMPTON museum that covers the history by Dorothy Kurtz o f the British Theatre from the time of Shakespeare to the Despite the title of this present day. There are articl e, my main reason to exhi bits of stage models, visit England was not to meet costumes, paintings, drawings, John Inman or even to attend photos, props, and videos. some the pantomime that he was in new exhibit areas covered the titled "Adventures of Robin Classical Greek Theatre; 2 Hood." I had planned to v i sit stage designers, Edward Gorden England, whether or not I got craig (1872-1966) and Tanya to meet and/or see Mr. Inman. Moisewiwitsch (b. 1914); and so, metaphorically s peaking , if t he Ballet Russe displays of visiting England is t he cake, Diaghilev. Other exhibi t areas then seeing John on stage i s covered: (1) How the story, the icing, and meeting him is "Wind in the Willows" by the cherry on the top. Kenneth Grahame, was Since I had visited transferred from the book to England in 1976, '82 and '84, the stage. (2) Diana Rigg and this article will not cover Ian McKellen were on a video such major s i ghts as t he "Tower explaining how performances of London", ••British Museum", have been recorded. ( 3) A 11 Westminister Abbey", and so collection of theatrical on, because I 've "Been There - paintings o f dif ferent actors Done That." (A working title of the past. that I had p l anned to use f or The only thing worst than this article, in case I didn't bei ng tired is being tired and get to meet John. Otherwise, I hungry. so, I had lunch at a might have also used "Pl aying nearby pub, "The Punch and England By Ear.•) Judy," where I had a pretty So, starting in good cottage pie, bef ore chronological order, this is heading to my next destination: how I spent a little over a Rock Circus, The London week in England ... Pavilion, 1 Piccadi l l y , Friday, 11 Decelllber: After Piccadilly Cir c us, London, W1V flying British Ai rways from 9LA. Philadelphia, I landed in Those of us who grew up London in the morning. Once in listening to r ock and roll London I checked into my hotel, music will f ind this place the Tavistock, but only left my i nteresting but commercial. luggage there. There were no You put on a pair of headphones rooms available until late in and go into d i fferent rooms the afternoon. I stayed i n where wax figures of rock this hotel in 1982 and I stars, from Bill Halley to noticed that they remodeled the Janet Jackson, will sing their lobby area into a more art-deco songs. The final event is the style since then. rock show that takes place on since I was to spend Europe's larges t revol v i ng Friday fighting "jet-lag," auditorium, covering the until t .he late afternoon, I history of rock music, wit h

7 more rock stars in ~ax singing cafeteria where I had a pretty their songs. Even t hough it is good vegetable lasagna meal, I very commercial, if you are of spent the rest of the day in the post world war II "baby the museua exploring the other booa" generation, or younger, areas that interested 1:te. They it is worth visiting, once. included: Plight; Ships, (Li stening to some of the other Marine Engineeri ng and Docks visitors singing, often and Diving: Transport "oft'-key," can also be fun.) Treasures and a few other SATURDAY, 12 Decell.ber: areas, briefly. Most of these After Cinal.ly getting into my areas covered the hist ory of room yesterday and getting a their respective subject in good night's sleep, I decided samples, models, photos, to visit the Science Museum, pictures and videos. I did Exhibition Road, London, SW7 stay until alJQOst closing time, 200. When I looked at the and still, I couldn't cover all floor plan in the museum's of the museua. Neither should guidebook, I knew that I would anyone else try. Stick to your never be able to see it all in favourite sections. a day. So, I headed to my SUIIOAY, 13 Decellber: I favourite section 1 the didn't co111e to England this Exploration of Space . Most time around just to sightsee. standard travel guidebooks made I also intended to meet some this area sound like a section friends that I had made in the with a few space exhibits and UK through correspondence and a not much else. Nothing could few phone calls. Today I was be farther from the truth! to meet the first of them, Bev, This area on space and her husband Steve. They exploration has t10re exhibits travelled down from than, the Franklin Institute in Leioestershire, and l!let 111e in Philadelphia, and the Maryland the lobby of the Tavistock science Centre in Baltimore hotel. Bev and I share a combined! It took me most of mutual interest in science the morning hours to see the fiction and we have written to different subjects covered in each other for about 6 years. this area alone: History of Together we took the Spaceflight, How Rockets Work, underground to Waterloo Station Britain and Europe in Space, to visit the Museum of the Use of Space, Robot Explorers, Moving Image, South Bank, How Satellites work, Man in Waterloo, London, SEl SXT. Space, and Living and working I have been to the I in Space. American Museum of the Moving The exhibits displayed Image in Astoria, Queens, New photos, videos, sample rockets, York city, which impressed l!le. space suits, satellites, etc. I was until I saw this museum They even had the Apollo 10 in London. There was much more command Module that carried 3 to this place and in a logical astronauts in orbit around the type of chronological order. 11100n in 1969. (Apollo ll was This museum covers the history the tirst moon landing; And of moving images, from shadow yes, they did have a replica of images to TV, videos and films the lunar lander. ) Other than of the present day. In spending about an hour's break addition to viewing exhibits, for lunch in the museum's there are also plenty of

8 hands-on exhibits that are very this town doesn't become a popular with children. ln each ghost t own in the winter. section , costumed 1:1useum guides There are some attractions open act out the era that they are in winter too, just not as many in , for example: as in the summer. I've noticed Turn-of-the-20th century a similar parallel between the dressed staff are on hand to resort towns of the New Jersey answer questions or do a shore areas, such as Atlantic presentation in the silent film City, Wildwood and cape May, era. and the British resort areas In other areas: tl'here was such as Brighton, Bl ackpool , a mock up of an early 20s and southend. A few Russian revolution film train, generations back, families in showing films from that time; the Northeastern USA would Hollywood displays, especially spend their week or 2 of in the 1930s; A section on vacation time at the New Jersey British films; Films during shore. World war II; The early days Meanwhile, their British of television and auch more. counterparts would take their As good as I had once thought main holiday time at a resort the Astoria, Queens museum town along Britain's coast. was--it can't hold a candle to Nowadays, with better and this museum! cheaper ways of travel Afterwards, we had dinner available, many people in the at their restaurant, where I Northeastern USA prefer to take had a roast chicken dinner, and their main beach vacations in a chance to sit down and talk places like the Caribbean, with Bev. (What more could I Florida and/or Mex ico. Their ask for?) Later, we continued British counterparts prefer our conversation at a pub near their holidays along the the hotel that I was staying Mediterranean in France, Spain at, before we parted company . and Italy. so, both the New MONDAY, 14 Decellbor: Jersey shore towns and the Another day that I get to see British shore towns mostly another friend. This time I attract people who visit for was travelli ng to see him. the day or weekend, or those However, first off, he advised who can't afford the more me to visit him in the 'exotic' places. afternoon, after I spend the southend reminded me of earlier part of the day Wildwood, NJ, in its usual visiting Southend, Essex. I resort offerings: arcades, must have been one of the few amuseaent rides, fast food, and Americans who, upon leaving take out food concessions, Tower Hill station, walked in hotels, etc. What made the direction of the Fenchurch Southend different was having St. Stat ion, instead of the the world's longest pier. Even Tower of London. My reason was though it was closed in winter, to take the train to Southend. I still could tak.e photos of southend is about 40 miles it. Then I attended the east of London and is a resort Southend Sea Life Centre, town with many attractions that Eastern Esplanade, Southend­ are mostly open during the on-Sea, Essex, SSl 2ER. warmer weather seasons. There i s a chain of t hese However, places in different parts of the

9 UK and a few in other parts of started it all i n 1971. The Europe. Whi le I can't compare menu was the samo as the others it to the Sea World theme parks with similar prices. I had in the USA, I did find that the fajitas while I watched t he few hours that I had spent videos and looked at the there i n teresting and memorabilia. (The address is educational. The centre that I 150 Old Park Lane, London, Wl. ) attended focused on the sea life Later that day, I visited of the Thames Estuary with Page's Bar, 75 Page St. , photos, display tanks, liter ary Westrninister, London, SWlP 4LT . and audio explanations I first heard abOut this bar on throughout the place. a TV travel show that was doing The tanks had displays of an episode on LOndon. I different f ishes, seahorses, a-mailed someone in England, rnys , shellfish, and s harks. asking if he ever heard about a My favourite part was the "St.ar Trek" theme pub in wal k- tbrougb underwater tunnel, London. He e- mailed me back where the fish s wam over and the web site and e -mail address above me. After this, I headed of this place. After checking to the Royals shopping mall the web site, I decided to where I had some chicken curry e-mail the pub manager to ask in their f ood court, while for a possible interview and listening to children singing "Photo- op," and he gave me his Christmas carols nearby. (I've "OK " for it. been to shopping malls in the In person, the place USA and Canada, and this mall looked smaller than the web wasn't too different from them, site pictures revealed. but I did go because I could However , I entered and took usually find reasonable priced photos of: (1) The large model food in a food court.) of the Bnterprise fro1:1 "Star After lunch, I took the Trek: The Next Generation": ( 2) bus to Leigh-on-Sea, to visit Several my friend, Ivor. He too shares poster s; (3) A display case of an interest in science fiction "Star Trek" items, including a and space exploration. We have smaller model of the corresponded for about 3 yea rs. Enterprise, from t he classic I had dinner with him and his •star Trek" series from the wife. Then afterwards, I got a 1960s. (4) I even took pictures taxi back to the s tation to get of their carpet! It bad the train back to London . designs of the St ar Fleet TUESDAY, 15 December: insignias on it. Then I had an After 4 days of what felt like interview with the bartender in running around, I s lept a bit charge at the moment, Stuart later. By the time I got up, Hicks. (The manager wasn' t cleaned up, and got d ressed , it there because he was attending was time to take the Under­ a sneak preview of the new ground to Green Park Stat ion. "Star Trek" film, "Star Trek: I walked over to the Hard Rock Insurrection".) Cafe in time for i t to open. Stuart told me that this I've been to Hard Rock Cafes in place bas had this the11e for New York, Philadelphia, and about s years. However, in Baltimore, and I thought that about another year or year and wh ile I stayed in London, I a half, they plan to r edecorate s hould try the restaurant that the pub to a more t raditional 10 pub t heme . (So, any "Star the poet, Robert Browning, who Trek" f ans out there--see i t first called t h i s area "Li ttle while you can! ) He then venice." The area itself has mentioned to me about the many stucco houses and saturday video events at the Victorian buildings. Our group bar, when they show about 4 also wa l ked along the canals, epis odes from the different while Emily talked about life "Star Trek" s eries: Classic for the average canal family Trek~ Next Generation , Doep and along the canals in space 9, and Voyager. On those general. She also pointed out nights, a s i zable nuaber of places where c ertain fa.mous people show up in costume. peopl e (show business types, Soma of their regular customers writers, and others) had lived. are on the committees of One of my favourite places different "Star Trek" and was St. Mary' s Church on science fiction conventions, Paddington Green. The earliest and the pub advertises for mention of a church around them. After spending some more there was in 1222, but this time there taking in the parish church was founded in atmosphere and drinking a few 1324. However, the church's gin and tonics, I decided to present restored interior looks call it a day and head back to the way that it did i n the ray hotel. later part of the 1700s in the IIBDNl!SDAY, 16 Decellber: Georgian style. Several famous At the suggestion of one of my painters, sculptors and other editors, I took the tube to people in t he arts, are buried Warwick Ave., and waited with in its churchyard, the most several other people to take a famous being the actress, Sarah guided walking tour of the Siddons. After the tour, I had Little Venice section of a ham sandwich at lunch in the London . (Yes, I do know that nearby Warwick Castle Pub. John 1 i ves in this area, That afternoon I met however, I have heard about another friend, Pearl, her Little Venice long before I daughter, and granddaughter, at knew that John Inman existed. t h e lobby of the Tavistock No, I don't know where he hotel . Again, she too shares lives--nor am I interested. an interest in science fiction There are limits to these with me and she is one of my things. I felt the same way newer contacts. We have only about where certain people been writing to each other for live, when, a few y ears back, I about a year. She travelled toured certain areas of down from Coventry and we southern California, in the LOs decided to take a walk around Angeles area: Beverly Hills, the illlllediate neighbourhood, Bel Air, Malibu, etc. I was the Bloorasbury section of interested in the areas London. Later, we had a light themselves but not where supper at a bagel place. certain famous people live. ) THURSDAY, 17 Decellber : Our tour guide f rom the This was the day I travelled to Origi nal LOndon Walks tour Wolverhampton i n the West company, Elllily, told us many Midlands via "Virgin Trains. • informative and interesting While John Inman was not the facts about this neighbourhood, reason for my visit ing England, including the fact that it was seeing his show was the reason

II ...

for my visiting Wolverhampton that was similar to the style (about 15 miles from of the "Three Stooges .. " Birmingham, England's 2nd John was as funny as ever largest city) . in his role as "Nurse Wanda," After checking into the governess to Maid Marion's Britannia Hotel, 1 had a very younger sister and brother. He filling bangers & mash mostly entered the stage (sausages and mashed potatoes) shouting in his high-pitched lunch at a restaurant nearby voice, "Are You FREE? ," and tha called "Peppers." children in the audience That night I attended the answered hi.m in ret urn, 11 I 1 m opening ni ght performance of FREEl" His costwnes were so the "Adventures of Robin Hood." elaborate (and a few were a bit They were also celebrating the bizarre) that he could give the opening night of the Mummers from Philadelphia a run refu.rbishment of the Grand for their aoney. (AS I grew up Theat re, Lichfield Street, near Philadelphia, I used to Wolvcrhampton, WVl lOB. watch the Hummer's Parade march The evening started with up Broad Street on New Year's the manager and few other Day. If John were born in or officials (I forgot their near Philly, he would have been titles) giving speeches. TWo a mummer. ) of the speeches were brief, but The range of music varied, a third speech got a bit boring and I even recognized a song and long winded. However, soon from the musical, "Grease." I enough, the show started. could understand about 90% ot Some of 1:1y British friends the humor. ( I lost the humor were concerned that I wouldn't only with references to certain understand the humor in a British celebrities not known pantomime. I had some doubts in the USA.) However, I do myself, but I was curious as to recolllllend that Americans what a pantomime show was like, visiting the UK should attend and I'm now glad that I at least one pantomime during attended. While the plot was their stay. There is nothing simple( Robin Hood outwitting l ike it in the USA . Even New the Sheriff of Nottingham and York City has nothing like it. winning the hand of Maid It is unique compared to most Marion), t he rest of the show of the West End shows, many of with its humor, costumes, which 1 can see in New York or songs, etc., made for a very Philadelphia. elaborate affair! Because it was opening This is the type or show night for both the show and the that can entertain both adults refurbished theatre, during (especially with some 'naughty' intermission, each person in humor, but it wasn't obscene, the audience received a free because most of i t would go glass of champagne and a box of over a young child's head) , and t wo Cadbury chocolates. We children (c h ildren are also received free souvenir encouraged to "cheer" the hero, programme books. What a classy and "boo" the villain, and way to conduct an opening participate in other ways). night! Many of the comedy routines John was very good with imitated vaudeville, burlesque, children because I noticed that and I noticed some slapstick during the show, there was a 12 singalong, and he i nvi t ed some Grand Theatr e i tself, as noted children f rom the audience t o by "those boring s peeches come on s t age and join h im. before the show• (John's For their effor t, t he children words) . The second ni ght, the r e ceived s ome chocol ates. ni ght to come, is sold out to Afterwards, I headed back football( soccer) players, so he to my hotel hoping that, maybe, didn't know what the outcome of I could get a quick photo-op that would be. However , he with John the next day. went on to say, "The third FRIDAY, 18 DecSIIber: night shoul d have a more Af ter breakfast, and wh ile I 'not'llal' audience,•• and he wil l was t aking a bit of a r est in know how the show goes . He my room, there was a knock on also said that he should be the door. I t was a message touring the USA i n Late March, f rolll Ron Lynch and John Inman but he didn't know at this saying that I could see John point, what c i ties are on the bri efly at 12 noon. itinerary. Final ly he told ae Then, Ron telephoned my that he says, "Hello, • to his room. While telling me how and USA fans, before we parted where to go about, to meet company. John, he asked if I liked the After this, I collected ray show or understood it. After l uggage, took the trai n back to giving him my answer, he went London, and headed out to the on to explai n that the theatre Heathrow Hilton Hotel, near the still was not fini shed. They Heathrow Airport, to stay the had no place to hang the night. costumes. They had to rehearse The next day, I took a i n another place and things had flight back to Philadelphia. been hectic in general. To summarize my trip: I However, he said that, can't get over how well hopefully, things will be ever ything went. I got closer t o normal the f ollowing everythi ng I wanted out of this Monday. He also said that the trip and more. I would like to director is removi ng some of thank Dave Langford of Ansi ble, the jokes for being too for providing me with the naughty. (Ron Lynch is John's information on Page's Bar. personal assistant-secr etary­ When I met John Inman, I yeoman? He also travels with found him as charming and wi tty John on ·hi s USA tours.) as ever! I look forward to At noon I showed up at meeting him again on his USA John's dressing room and a few tour. I would like to thank seconds l ater, John came out the following people who helped flashing his bright blue eyes, make this meeting possible: with a smile on his face, as he Bill Roberton, carole Sorrell, said, "Hello," to me. After and Ron Lynch. . taking a few photos of him, he told me that he is looking f orward to the 3rd night of the show, when the "normal" people will be attending. Then, he went on to explain what he meant by •normal. • The first night croWd had a l ot of patrons and support ers of the 13 RED DWARF Season Summaries by LaVern Loretz, Jr.

UPDATE: OCTOBER 1998 The first 12 episodes have been upgraded. These diqitally enhanced shows are much clearer, colorful (with the ship brighter red and slimmer), plus, if I'm not mistaken, in stereo. The bQ9inninq contains new material either to attract younqer viewers (it is more lively with plenty of movement) or, as is the powers-that-be's way, to tease the watcher with previews of upcominq seasons. My quess is seasons 1 & 8. cast: David Lister - Craiq Charles Arnold Rillller - Chris Barrie The Cat - Danny John-Jules Holly (computer) - Norman Lovett Hilly (computer) - Hattie Hayridqe Kryten - Robert Llewellyn The Powers-That-Be at the BBc: Bob Grant, Douq Naylor, Paul Jackson and Ed Bye 1992 Season Five EPISODE ONE : "Holoship" • Starbuq crosses paths with a holoship containinq a crew with everyone like Rimmer. They want Rimmer and he wants to qoonce he learns what the life of a colony of hol09raphic imaqes is like. But there is a price: he must take an IQ test. Think SATs multiplied a hundred times over. Learninq of Rimmer's decision, Lister, the cat and Kryten beqin interviewinq computer-qiven applicants for Rimmer's replacement. Rimmer's plan to increase his intelligence backfires when his brain rejects a mind-patch which had turned him into a Jerry Lewis/Nutty Professor-like quy. That's not all: when he learns that he would be replacinq a qirl be likes, he backs out. Why? Because she would have to die. (I quess even holoqraphic imaqes have a limit.) Rimmer must have a heart after all, and ends up back on Red owarf. EPISODE TWO: "The Inquizator" * En route back to Red Dwarf, the crew meet a r09ue self­ repairinq android whose only ambition is to judqe mankind, then qo back in time and eliminate those who, in his jaded opinion, wasted their lives, and qive those lives to those more deservinq who died prematurely. Kind of a nice premise, huh? Forqet it. Lister and Kryten are found quilty and are tracked down. Their replacements are no better, intelliqence-wise. But since this is a one-parter lastinq only 25 minutes, they learn how to defeat the Inquizator, which holds a time travel device on its sleeve. Kryten cuts off and steals the device, then retreats into the 14 past. No explanation given! I've seen this episo4e at least 10 times, but I still don't completely understand everything. EPISODE THREE: "Terrorform• ••• (only for the beginning) Starbug has crashed. Kryten is injured. He detaches hia left hand and it seeks Lister and the eat's help. (Forget Rimmer, he's hopeless,) The hand crawling up Lister's leg and typing Kryten's distress message is very funny. This is where the show goes quickly downhill. Rimmer is trapped in his own subconscious. The premise is i nteresting but the sexual scene is uncalled- for. Isn't this supposed to be a comedy fit for preteens? Anyway, Rimmer meets his self-loathing in the form of an ugly, bony creature reminiscent of those in the "Alien" movies. The end makes some sense, wherein his friends save the day (again!) by fighting off Rimmer's deepest fears, enabling Starbug to leave. EPISODE FOUR: "Quarantine• * Finding an abandoned Earth colony, the crew think they are rescuing one Hildegarde Landstrum, but she's only a berserk holographic image which suffers from a deadly virus. The Red Dwarf crew also become infected. Not realizing this, Rimmer imprisons his shipmates in Red Dwarf's quarantine room. Lister, the Cat, and Kryten, after only a few days, are at one a nother's throats. It doesn't take them long to learn that it's Ri.. er who's not well. (This is news?!?) Using a vial of "good luck serum" (catchy name, that), the three manage to not only find but construct an electronic device to counter the virus in Rimmer. Rimmer is then put in quarantine(to be safe, which isn't a bad idea), and the rest are last seen in women ' s gingham dresses acting like birds in a cage to amuse the intended. [Incarcerated? -Ed.] EPISODE FIVE: "Deaons and Angels" * Lister and Kryten invent a machine that can triplicate strawberries! You're laughing, I know. Accidentally, they make a pair of other Red DWarfs -- one negative, one positive. In doing so, they eet off a delayed explosion. Oh, you remember they have none! Oh, well ••• Because of this, they seek out the other copies and find deaonic and angelic replicas of themselves. The Origina.l Lister i.s made into a roote-controlled zombie. Tbe original crew discover this and are able to disarm him (an implant in his neck, no less). The copies ot Red Dwarf vanish and the original reappears. It has exploded. Funny stuff? very little, unless you count the brainless angelic crew marvelling at their blood leaking out after being shot. EPISODE SIX: "Back to Reality" *** Starbug lands on yet another world with an abandoned science lab. After exposure to an alien chemical which causes group hallucinations, the four awaken in a cockpit of an Barth Total lllllllersion Game: they've been in it for four years, and not on Red Dwarf. The Cat is Dwayne Dibbley, with a Captain Kangaroo haircut and teeth big enough to open soda bottles. Kryten is Cybernetic Detective Jake Bullet, who is half-android. Rimmer awakens as IS Billy Doyle, a bum, and Lister find's he's Billy's brother from a different parent, and a fascist dictatoron a violent world. Hilly, their computer, saves the day before they turn out like the dead science people. This has some very clever writing and directing.

Notes from the Swamp by J. G. Stinson

some of you may be wondering i f the NJF will still be around by the year 2000 . Some ot you may be wondering how we can increase our membership and find new ways to attract those new members. Some of you may not care whether the N3F continues and are thinking of letting your membership lapse when it next expires. For Group 1, instead of wondering a.bout it, decide if having the NJP around is important to you, and if it is, get off your butt and do what you can to l

In Tightbeam #216 ... .

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