The NextESQUIRE INVESTIGATES:Action Star But ￿rst, PAUL SCHRODT on anonymous leading men and the woman who will save us all Bruce Willis is John McClane. The smirk his moody, dead-eyed delivery, which is all cocked to the right, the mix of vulgarity and the better if you love Keanu. Matt Damon, possibly the last true action hero, is taking patriotism, courage and panic—the traits of the up the Jason Bourne mantle again in middle character and the actor are inseparable. When Die age because we have nowhere else to turn. Hard came out, Willis was a TV actor. He made Mc- Except, perhaps, to the most promising Clane his own, and a five-movie franchise was built on his emerging action hero, who is not a man at name. By A Good Day to Die Hard, in which Willis blows up all. Scarlett Johansson starred as two killing Moscow in front of a green screen, he was the last remaining machines last year, in the arty, abstract Un- der the Skin and the thrillingly stupid Lucy, reason to watch. We’re still looking for his replacement. which was the fourth-highest-grossing It’s hard to find a candidate among today’s young male actors, who tend to be as memo- movie in America in 2014 not based on pre- rable and distinguishable as an individual laser blast in any one of their superhero spec- vious material. Besides being beloved, they tacles. Does anyone really believe Chris Pratt sold Guardians of the Galaxy? We were share a shrewd exploitation of Johansson’s relieved to have him, if only to insert knowing wisecracks in between spaceship battles off-screen persona: In both, she is an irre- against Goth aliens, but he was still subservient to the dancing tree. The action hero sistible sexual and intellectual force who is has undergone a weird gender inversion in the past decade—since Daniel Craig’s Bond just on the other side of knowable. Even as strolled a beach in short-shorts, becoming his own Honey Ryder. We’re encouraged to Marvel’s Black Widow, she’s manipulative take in Pratt’s “transformation.” Chris Evans bulks up before our eyes in Captain America and interior in a world of outsize exteriority. and we think, Okay, he’ll work. It’s in the studios’ long-term interest to keep focus on the Her seductions are as much threat as invita- franchise, not the man contractually obligated to fill it until the next reboot. tion, begging the ultimate question about Which is why handfuls of us still line up to see—and enjoy, thank you—our old idols, Johansson: Could we handle her? Next, she’ll Arnold, Sylvester, and Keanu, reviving their shtick in The Last Stand, Bullet to the Head, lead an adaptation of the anime Ghost in the and John Wick. There is something depressing about Arnold tending to his physique at Shell (out spring 2017), about an existential- this point, but he still holds the camera with a presence and speech pattern entirely his ist part-cyborg who mercilessly guns down Watch, listen, share, and more—scan any page with the free Esquire2 app. Esquire2 free the with page any more—scan and share, listen, Watch, own: There is literally no one else in the world even slightly like him. Keanu has long been her targets while baring her breasts. She mocked for his lack of versatility, but he has turned that into an asset: He wills every script to may have found her John McClane. ≥

48 ESQUIRE￿• ￿APRIL￿￿2015 PHOTO ILLUSTRATION BY EDDIE GUY THE MODERN ACTION HERO AXONOMY HE T OF T ONHERO I Arnold to From Zito E CT S

A ISE T H H NC E R RA ET F IR AN EE M E￿ N O E H

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HARRISON FORD HARRISON LIAM NEESON LIAM

WASHINGTON

TOM CRUISE DENZEL

T U O S WILL SMITH N R U T , Age: Too old for this shit. O THE R ERIC BANA Mistake: Taking that EXPENDABLES E - H Always looking for: The N Collective lifetime last job. O box-o￿ice gross: I compr T Somewhere be one C CLIVE OWEN tween the GDPs that vanishedession sock in A of Cameroon the laundry, N and Liech- ROBERT A tenstein. his f DOWNEY JR. T amily.

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THE LADY/KILLER

THE ACTION cy. Children. Shopkeepers. obligation to the world. John ter the guy was a just a soda dis- HERO MANIFESTO Construction workers. McClane paid taxes, or at least tributor in Spokane before this. An action hero has a job. Not he did going into the ￿irst Die Because an action hero a quest or a calling. Not a mis- Hard. Jason Bourne never re- earns his abilities through his An action hero has to be able sion. A job. A desk, maybe a ceived a W￿2 in his life. training, his past experience. to die. Gene Hackman could parking spot. What’s the ￿irst An action hero is not a He must exist in tension with Very tall people always look somewhat familiar. familiar. look somewhat tall people always Very die, but it really looked like he thing Ripley did after spending superhero. that. It did some damage. It didn’t want to. Vin Diesel can’t 57 years in hypersleep with a An action hero is not even took some work. die. It looks like no one’s ever house cat? She got a job. augmented. Enough with im- An action hero drives a car. told him about the possibility. An action hero has to pay plants, the suppressed mem- Always. An action hero has to inter- taxes. He has to be a citizen. He ories of experimental training, Even if he lives in Manhattan.

act convincingly with normal- has to have some stake, some the secret ￿iles in the brain. Bet- —TOM CHIARELLA RULE NO. 632:

Watch, listen, share, and more—scan any page with the free Esquire2 app. 51 52

ESQUIRE￿

Do Do that and even an office can become exciting.

mean mean faultless; flawed does not mean tortured; the dead-wife gimmick is la

even even though he did, admittedly, save the world. A few more notes from Moor

millions millions of people who exist entirely off-screen. It’s very personal.

character character is not trying to save the world. The stakes do not rely on the a

time time in action movies. “

the the script above and also providing insight into how to get us out of what

work work nonetheless. Really compelling office work. Which makes Moore well su

German German code, thereby shortening World War II and saving millions of lives-

action action movie out of, well, math. Sure, it was the math performed by Alan T

As As the Oscar-winning screenwriter of The Imitation Game

ABOUT ABOUT THE SCREENWRITER

The The editor JONAS (40s) is talking to one of his writers, ROB (30s

Everyone Everyone is showing exactly a quarter inch of cuff.

The The offices of Esquire magazine are bleeding-edge cool. Glass tables, matt I I mean, who would believe it? A top government assassin has a cover identi

INT. INT. ESQUIRE MAGAZINE OFFICES--DAY

BLACK.

What What are you talking about? That’s the only thing everyone likes. Movie You You don’t think a men’s magazine writer who writes about assassinati THE MODERN ACTION HERO Oscar-winning screenwriter Graham Moore imagined an action movie set at set the movie an action Moore Graham imagined screenwriter Oscar-winning • Esquire: The Thriller

2015 ￿￿ ￿APRIL

REVEAL: REVEAL: Rob is holding a GUN beneath his desk

about about novels; TV shows set behind the scenes of other TV shows.

.

Magazine Magazine articles about writing magazine articles?

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ces. ces. We￿ o by Esquire were its accuracy. shocked

.

writer writer who writes about

is a perfect screenplay,” the 33-year-old says. “Keanu Reeves’s

No No one likes self-referential writing.

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.

assassinated assassinated anyone?

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.

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JONAS JONAS (V.O.)

JONAS

Cute?

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ROB

ROB ROB

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assassinations.

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--NATE HOPPER --NATE

.

. .

Watch, listen, share, and more—scan any page with the free Esquire2 app.