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Mind Moon Circle Winter 2011 / Jukai and The Precepts

Table of Contents

Authentic expression...... 3! What Jukai means to me...... 5! Jukai and the path back to our Essential Nature ...... 7! Living by Vow...... 14 ! Thoughts on Jukai, March 3, 1986...... 16 ! Establishing the precepts so all will inherit the wisdom of the Buddha ...... 18 ! Jukai Vows, Allan Marett...... 22 ! Jukai Vows, Sarah Kanowski ...... 26 ! Jukai Vows, Nigel Pearn...... 27 ! Eulogy for Sexton Bourke, Insight teacher & Roshi...... 29 ! Planting Garlic, Grieving Sexton...... 34 ! More on that Old Chestnut...... 35 ! Erratum ...... 35 ! Photo Details...... 35 !

Koula Frantzi is editing the next issue of Mind Moon Circle. The topic is birth and death and what these events mean for our practice. There is the birth and death of people, but the terms can also apply to projects, belief systems, relationships and many other things. Please send all contributions to [email protected] before September 15.

Mind Moon Circle, published quarterly by Sydney Zen Centre. 251 Young Street, Annandale NSW 2038, Australia. On the web at szc.org.au. Printed on recycled paper. Annual subscriptions: $28 AUD.

This edition was edited by Lee Nutter. Front cover designed by Lee Nutter.

2 Authentic expression By Lee Nutter

I’ve always been an all or nothing kind of his vows and other offerings, it was made person, so when I got ‘serious’ about my clear that his Zen practice had informed Zen practice, living in a monastery every aspect of his life. seemed like the only real option. Fortunately and unfortunately, I felt I had This deeply moving ceremony helped too much of a good thing going to just convince me that taking Jukai was leave everything behind and disappear something that I needed to do. Sosan into the mountains so I remained a lay gave me an opportunity to confirm with practitioner, struggling to integrate my Subhana that this was in fact something I practice into my daily life. was able to look further into, and the following Wednesday I was back at As I continued to sit, at home and at the Annandale, talking to Gilly about getting Zen centre, I was able to let go of some started. of the ideals I’d built up about what it meant to be a student of Zen. I’d read I spent the next few months reading about Jukai and felt it was the next step Aitken Roshi’s The Mind of Clover over for me. At the time I saw it as a way to and over. Each time taking notes, commit to my practice, and still underlining, dog-earring and highlighting. appreciate the life I was living. The I also found several other books and problem was that I was still so new to articles on the topic and read through Zen practice and felt somehow each one with the same care and unworthy, not having gained any great attention. Eventually it got to a point realizations or passed any . where I had to actually write my vows, and as useful as these books were, it On the second last day of the 2010 became obvious that they didn’t contain Easter , Allan Marett retook his any right answers. My vows had to come Jukai vows with Subhana. This was the from within. first Jukai ceremony I had attended, and before getting started, Subhana talked a I came to Gilly with pages of notes, but little about what Jukai was and went on every week my understanding seemed to to say that it was open to anyone who felt shift slightly. The notes I had previously ready, and that it didn’t signify any kind written seemed less relevant than the of special attainment or realization. week before, but this week’s thoughts seemed unpolished and incomplete. Allan’s Jukai ceremony was incredible. Eventually though, things started to click. His vows deep and sincere, each one accompanied by a poem or performance Spring Sesshin approached quickly, and of some kind, emphasizing the breadth somehow, between my work, endlessly and depth of his commitment. Through revising my vows and the rest of my busy

3 life I had managed to sew my Rakusu. I It's only been a few months since taking gave it to Gilly the week before Sesshin, Jukai, and true to my vows, the way I but I was still revising my vows. look at the commitment I've made has already evolved. Initially it was a public I spent Sesshin visiting Gilly and Maggie and at the same time very personal in Dokusan, fine tuning things. Despite commitment to my practice and this will the countless hours of reading, writing never change. Now though, it has and talking with Gilly, it seemed I'd never become much more than that. Receiving be 'finished' refining my vows. Although the precepts has helped bring practice this perfectionism caused me stress and into my everyday life. There is no longer concern, I eventually came to terms with my life and my practice; there is just a life it by integrating it into my vows. As far as of practice. The precepts have become I was concerned, if I wasn't continually more than just a few vows I once made, working with and refining them, I'd be but a way of being that guides me defaming the three treasures. And so, I towards the most authentic expression of take up way of not defaming the three my self. treasures, I vow to practice faithfully and forever be refining my understanding. Not that this is an end point either. I'll trip and I'll stumble, and just as I During the ceremony I learned that I was continue to catch myself when my mind the first student to take Jukai with Gilly. wanders during , I hope to catch To be accepted in such a way, by Gilly myself when I lose my way in my every and all the other amazing people that day life. I’ll continue to refine my make up the SZC , was incredibly understanding and feel confident that humbling. Taking in the Sangha at striving for authentic expression is all I this time was easy. I will support and be need to find my way and maintain a clear supported. Inspire and be inspired. heart.

4 What Jukai means to me By Jennifer Gentle

I've just recently come back from had occasions to measure my conduct Dharamsala. I had this idea a year ago against the precepts. Here is one that it would be really nice to spend example: the temple that I meditated in in to celebrate the each day while I was in India was one of anniversary of Buddha's enlightenment. the most beautiful temples I have ever So I booked myself into a wonderful been in. It has been created by master guesthouse that was very monastic, Tibetan artists and craftsmen in an complete with temple and spent 12 days attempt to replicate the old temples of reading, meditating on and embodying their homeland. The temple is at the Lotus . While I was there the Norbulingka and is called "Seat of question arose 'What makes a place Happiness". The main figure is spiritual?' I sat with monks from Gyuto Shakyamuni, he is surrounded by the five Tantric Monastery and I sat with monks Dhyana Buddhas and numerous other from Namgyal Monastery, the temple of Buddha figures, 1176 in all. What I loved the Dalai . I even had the good so much about this temple is that it is for fortune to see the Kalachakra tourists and people from the local and sat in front of the during community. It is maintained by a solitary the actual full moon of Vesak itself. I had monk. I spent many hours watching all these wonderful visual many different nations and religious accompaniments but that really wasn't traditions come and go and interact with what was making the place spiritual. Shakyamuni Buddha. There was a What was making it spiritual was the mosquito, just one, that lived inside this meaning, the significance I was giving to temple. Every day it would come and it all. feed off me, sometimes I would blow it away before it bit, sometimes it won and It was 16 years ago that I took Jukai. It got its meal. Anyway, one morning I was on that day, the 30th September covered myself in citronella oil and 1995 that I took vows to live my life as a thought myself safe, I could see it flying Buddhist. My rakusu and all that it holds around trying to find a point of entry. My and symbolizes for me, is without doubt hands were in meditation , it my most prized possession. It always landed and bit my palm so hard I travels with me as hand luggage, brushed it away a too vigorously and something I never want to lose because it killed it instantly. A relatively minor can't be replaced. incident but the remorse plagued me for days and does so even now. It felt like I The precepts are not something I think had killed a friend. about every day. In fact, I usually only think about them when something On another occasion earlier this year I doesn't feel quite right. Very recently I've made the decision to deliberately break a

5 precept in a very major way. It was an the other was done fully understanding unusual situation were my intuition was the implication of my actions. telling me to go against the guidelines set This year at Easter for some reason on out in the precepts. So the question the last night of Sesshin I fell asleep became 'do I follow my intuition or do I during the evening break and woke up follow the precepts?' After a lot of just before were about to start. I thought I chose to follow my intuition love chanting the Sutras and would not because that is what I have always relied miss them for anything but I arrived 30 upon. I knew there would be major seconds too late to enter the dojo. So I consequences to my actions, and there sat outside on the verandah listening to were, but I was prepared to do it anyway. others chant for me. Then, without me What is really interesting is that I felt no expecting, the Vows were guilt whatsoever. None. being read by all - except me. That's when the full weight of my transgression What was the difference between the two hit me. It was like I was being shunned transgressions? Why did I feel so by all the Buddhas, by all the remorseful for a minor incident and for what I had done. I nothing for something so major? Because wasn't allowed to take the precepts, not one was done without and this year anyway. So, maybe I didn't get off scot-free after all.

6 Jukai and the path back to our Essential Nature By Philip Long

Some weeks back a discussion on the Zen concerns itself with cause and effect , led by Gilly Coote, was held rather than punishment. Thus the at the Annandale Zendo. One of the precepts are couched in terms of “I take participants asked what the purpose of up the way of….” Each step we take to was. In the discussion that implement the precepts, to realise our followed the suggestion was made that embededness in the Way and to be and the cause of suffering was grasping or behave accordingly brings a attachment but the questioner corresponding release from suffering. emphasised that he was enquiring about There is no all-or-nothing principle here; the purpose of suffering not the cause. everything is a question of degree and The questioner wanted a teleology, an process. Our essential nature waits end point towards which the existence of patiently, with openness and love, while suffering was directed. It occurred to me we stagger about on our usually non- later that Zen practice does not concern linear dark paths. itself too much with teleology. The general intention it seems to me is to Coming to Zen so many years ago I was remain open ended as to the outcome looking only for release from suffering. I and the future as a whole. was not interested in any responsibilities there might be on my side. At that time I But the connection between suffering would have seen any such thing as a and attachment could be reversed thus: burdensome repetition of an excessively the purpose of suffering is to let us know strict upbringing. I was interested rather that we are caught up in grasping and to in freedom. It took some time before I help us make the necessary change. In had attained enough insight to realise the Christianity the state of sin is nowadays complex but unified relationship between explained in terms of alienation from freedom and responsibility. Saint God. The sacrament of Confession is Augustine said: “Love God, and do what now referred to as Reconciliation on the you will.” The point is that to the extent grounds that it does away with, or that one is realised one is naturally ameliorates, that alienation. In Zen we inclined (compelled, if you like) to do the would prefer to say that the state of right thing in the circumstances. In the ignorance (caused by grasping) is seen as meantime, however, that is to the extent alienation from our essential nature, our that one is not realised, there is a need for true or authentic Self. We are led away , that is, skilful means, to correct from our errors by the suffering caused our tendency to error, and to keep us on when we go about things the wrong way. the path. Enter the precepts - the Our essential nature beckons us back but goalposts between which we should aim the cause of the suffering is the to make progress on the Path. As we willfulness of our ego. The process in deepen our realisation we move from

7 willfulness to willingness, from ceremony felt to me like a full and egocentricity to Dharmacentricity and the unequivocal commitment to the aspirations expressed in the precepts Buddha’s Way, to the Zen path. In fact become a living reality. my delight in the practice was such that I undertook the ceremony on 30 January, As I began to understand this process in 1990, only 10 months after taking up the my own life, I was increasingly drawn to practice, with John Tarrant at the take the Jukai ceremony, to commit Annandale Zendo. In the year 2000 I had myself formally and publicly to the the privilege of renewing my character-building side of our practice, commitment in a joint ceremony with the gritty soul work of working with our Tony Miller at Gorrick’s Run with inherent tendencies to go astray. This I Subhana Barzaghi presiding. Might it be have found to be tough work indeed but time for another renewal? also most rewarding. Taking the Jukai

8 Reflections from the mind of Jukai: fine words do not personalize the fact By Kim Bagot

When I contemplate the photos from the application of the precepts to our busy, original Jukai with Aitken Roshi in non-monastic lives. ' The "business" of Sydney in 1986 memories and nostalgia Zen is the perfection of character’, as well up, as well as gratitude to Roshi for Yamada Roshi said, the developing a opening the Zen way to us so clearly. Of character of integrity and intimacy that that little fellowship already a number our close associates see and feel is have passed away, drifted away or simply marked by genuine peacefulness and vanished. From the first Roshi held out Ahimsa. to our group the truth enunciated in the , all are Buddha- The precepts we take up in Jukai are ; but we need to work hard at descriptors of the way of true peace and zazen and dokusan to realize that fact, Ahimsa, as well the pathway to integrate and also work earnestly to actualize a life cushion practice into daily life at home, at of integrity and intimacy. the shops, on the road and in the office. To help do this, Roshi suggested we I always feel thankful for the inspiration review the precepts regularly and put our of Roshi’s shining integrity and utterly own words to them. This is a way of dependable example of a life well lived. refining insights and moving from zazen He put Zen practice into practice. My as a hobby to integrated maturity. sense of homecoming on finding the path of Zen was later tempered by The contemplation and cultivation of the hearing of episodes of abusive behaviour precepts is the practice of observing the by teachers overseas who were supposed ethical and moral strictures, as well as to guardians and spiritual parents of their becoming intimate with the dimension students. I wondered whether their study where there is no notion of a self, a had over-emphasised insight and person, a living being, or a life span, (as intimacy and not trained them enough in the Diamond Sutra says), or for that applying their Zen insights to more matter no Dharma, no Buddha or mundane matters of common decency . I am reminded of the and integrity? I remember Roshi's response of Emma Ayres, the ABC disappointment at the failure of the first broadcaster, when asked 'What is assembly of American Zen teachers in integrity?', after she had described an 1983 due to misconduct by esteemed outstanding quartet as playing with teachers. integrity. Put on the spot she said, 'They play with accuracy and without ego'. I want to emphasise here that I am glad Aitken Roshi says, "Intimacy is a step that for a long time SZC has had regular closer to the heart of things than Zen meetings to recite, discuss and explore Buddhism itself. What is Zen after all? It

9 is just a word to describe coming home" The expressions of ritual and sutras we ("Encouraging Words", page 10). use in our practice are important. Thay Homelessness seems to be something of points out that while forms of words are a modern plague. A lot of people seem to basically empty they are important. be pouring alcohol and cramming excess Saying publicly for example, I want to food into that dully perceived emptiness become a doctor, is not a big step in inside. I am experimenting with terming itself, but it can be an important this hollowness, partly in view of the milestone on a long, life-defining journey seemingly very solid materiality of the of hard study and practice. As a exercise possessions we clutch more and more of. towards personal understanding I am Lacking a deep sense of being at home experimenting with language and cultural more people seem to grasp after intimacy forms which might speak fairly directly in fleeting or harmful relationships, or and truthfully to the mainstream students with fake friends inside the TV, or inside I meet in my day job. A lot of them are Facebook (fakebook?). The promises of striving very hard at work and study, as politicians which dupe us regularly at well as supporting . Our elections perhaps ring loudly throughout increasingly speeded- up, 24/7 world the land because of their hollowness, seems more deeply etched in their faces despite appearing very substantial in our as the years go by. We discuss questions minds. The term empty derives from the about study/stress/life management; I let idea of being spent or exhausted. A them know that I practice yoga and sit hollow is both a hole and a form. Thay regularly. Also, I am acquainted with a says that true emptiness is true being. number of very bright, questioning young people who seem to have no grounding Moving from our cushions to the in religious or spiritual issues that might motorway raises issues of how to make have been assumed in earlier times. I practice sustainable in our society. Thich ponder how to convey to them the Nhat Hahn says, "if Westerners bring dharma of true peace/Ahimsa. On any into their society an exotic expression of charges of blasphemy, I am not Buddhism, thinking that this particular suggesting any changes- a friend advised form of Buddhism is the only true form me sagely that have split over of Buddhism, (they will feel) like a drop small changes to translations. For myself, of oil in a glass of water. Buddhism will after a while at sesshin I still get lost in only succeed here if it is built from your translations, and can unmindfully revert own experiences and with your own to any of the three versions which Aitken cultural ingredients. if you practice in Roshi gave us over the years... feeling exactly the same way we practice in more of a goose in a bottle than usual. Vietnam, Tibet, , Burma, Sri Lanka, Japan or Korea, the oil drops will Roshi encouraged us to personalize the always remain separate from the practice and its basic terms; he said, if water"(The Diamond That Cuts Through you do not realize there will be no Illusion, Parallax Press, 2010). realization. Our tradition interrogates us fairly thoroughly, so it might be

10 appropriate that we interrogate its forms mouth, and thought--/I now make full to keep things fresh and relevant. In this open confession of it. mode, I like to look over differing versions of the sutras and Shodoka. The By comparison, 's process of re-presenting a verse can work website has this interpretive and perhaps like public documents to set a standard. more psychological rendering: All of the How do you present this line now? ancient twisted karma, /Timeless greed, Shodoka is a great compendium of Zen hatred, and ignorance, /Born of my insights bubbling with the author/s' joy body, mouth and soul, /I confess openly, in finding the Great Way and delight in and let it go. sharing it, which resonates with my own experiences. I try to jot down an Confession nowadays can seem an 'Aussie2011' version, rather than preach antiquated, empty ritual. The original to the converted. Then next time I revise sense of confession is of public I usually find that more or less hollow declaration of faith; if it is truly full surely and begin again. it should carry through towards genuine character perfecting and atonement? I will only make brief comments here There seems to me to be a sense of about word choices to keep things as karma that can be manipulated to evade succinct as possible. D.T. Suzuki in his personal responsibility and initiative. Manual of Zen Buddhism presents Karma in the root sense means to do or translations of the ancient texts. They can to act, not to be passive or re-active. I seem somewhat archaic and more on the prefer not to use the word "evil" in philosophical side than poetic and conversation, as I feel it can block allusive and might sound a bit stilted consideration of deeper questions and chanted by Australian mouths in 2011 facilitate dualising mind. I would want to (notice I don’t say Barbarian). I do find say that Brother Number One or the these differing versions very instructive. Furher were deeply harmed and From the little I know of the Chinese psychopathic, partly due to social originals (or translations of ) they conditions, and perhaps due to lifetimes can be very allusive, without the many of not accepting responsibility and connecting words and suffixes of atoning for their harmful actions. In English. Thus it would be somewhat of a Thich Nhat Hahn's poem responding to fool's errand to try to nail down in the horrendous predations of pirates on Teutonic-, unique, closely definable Vietnamese boat people adrift in the meanings. As often with good poetry or South China Sea, he concludes- I am that music we are invited to be co-creators pirate. Racial purification has a bad mobilising our own mindfulness. D. T. history, with its own unfortunate versions Suzuki's Confession: All the evil karma in our would-be Great South Land of the ever committed by me since of old, /On Holy Spirit. My latest amateur explication account of greed, anger, and folly, which for an uninitiated, south-land denizen have no beginning, /Born of my body, would be:

11 Confession and Atoning: The way of the Awakened One is For all the harmful actions ever already complete, I vow to performed by me; accomplish it intimately. because of my endless grasping, aversions and self-delusions; The Shodoka rings with the author/?s through my doing, speaking and boundless joy in finding the Great Way thinking; and keen delight in presenting it to now I vow with all my heart fully seekers which resonate for me. I have to atone. been revisiting this somewhat meandering manifesto, which I never tire D. T. Suzuki renders the Four Great of reciting. In "The Roaring Stream" Vows: However innumerable beings are, Nelson Foster and Jack Shoemaker talk I vow to save them; /However about its origins in their informative inexhaustible the passions are, I vow to preface. At early sesshin the wisdom and extinguish them; /However inspiration of this old poem every immeasurable the Dharmas are, I vow to afternoon fell like a healing rain of master them; /However incomparable ambrosia on my tired body and mind, the Buddha-truth is, I vow to attain it. sometimes after a long day's journey into The San Diego Zen Centre website the dark night of the soul! D. T. Suzuki includes this rather free interpretation commences his "Song of Enlightenment" which I enjoy turning over in my mind. thus: Practice Principles: Caught in the self- centered dream, only suffering. /Holding 1. Knowest thou that leisurely to self-centered thoughts, exactly the philosopher who has gone dream. /Each moment, life as it is, the beyond learning and is not only teacher. /Being just this moment, exerting himself in anything? compassion's way. He neither endeavours to avoid idle thoughts nor seeks after the At the moment I am looking into the Truth; meaning of vowing as a first step towards [For he knows that] ignorance in taking steps to actualize the Great Mind reality is the Buddha-nature, of intimacy and integrity- [And that] this empty visionary body is no less than the Dharma- Taking Up The Great Way: My body. being is truly boundless, I vow to wake to it endlessly; 1. Do you know that we walk the My grasping, aversions and self- Great Way in the peace which delusions are endless, I vow to let passes all our understandings, not them go; striving in anything? Dharma gateways are everywhere, Neither trying to avoid idle I vow to walk them; thoughts, nor grasping for truth;

12 Do you know that our self- All our elements come and go delusions really are Buddha- like clouds drifting with no nature, purpose; This hollow, illusory body is no Our grasping, aversions and self- other than the Dharma-body? delusions appear and disappear floating like foam on the sea. 2. When one knows what the Dharma-body is, there is not an This might all seem a bit eccentric, object [to be known as such], perhaps fundamentalist, but I do enjoy The source of all things, as far as mulling over words- the words we use are its self-nature goes, is the Buddha living artifacts of human history. in his absolute aspect; Engaging with words can be a way of The five aggregates () presenting public cases setting standards are like a cloud floating hither for understanding. With contemplation a and thither with no fixed word can suddenly open out into purpose, surprising panoramas. Studying Robert The three poisons (klesa) are like Aitken's version of Shodoka is one way foams appearing and disappearing to encounter the mind of the Old Boss. I as it so happens to them.... am happy to explore versions with others who are interested. I do recognise that 2. When you know the Dharma- this is not a mass-participation sport. As body, there is no separate object Roshi says ("Encouraging Words", p.94), to be known, "Fine words do not personalize the fact". The original nature of all things is But listening mindfully to other peoples' innately Buddha; stories on the Way can be enlightening.

13 Living by Vow By Sally Hopkins

“Living by Vow” is a term used by the nowhere. Coming up with the words to Japanese teacher, Kosho Uchiyama. He respond to each precept required the meant -Living by the Great Vows we deepest attention to my thoughts, words, chant at the end of our evening sits, actions, in light of what I understood ‘Though beings are numberless I vow to each precept was pointing to. And what save them’. Jukai for me is a ritual helping was it pointing to? What had seemed us to Live by Vow. It is a ceremony in quite clear, became quite hazy. I mulled, which an individual, joined by the sangha, and sat, mulled and sat. receives the precepts and vows to live by them. Like all rituals, it is mysterious, It all tied in with glimpses of mysteries. speaking more than is said. (The Latin As Dogen Zenji put it, “…this whole– root for ‘ceremony’ is ‘wax’- a very ten- direction-world is nothing but the potent image.) True Way, and this whole-ten-direction- world is nothing but Self” (translation When I took Jukai I did not know why I from Opening the Hand of Thought: was doing it, there was just a very strong Uchiyama) and “The Self- of –the-whole- inner urge pushing me in that direction. ten-direction-world grows by VOW”. When I started sewing the rakasu, with all its exact requirements, and experienced The more I recite and dwell on the the ease with which all the carefully responses that the sangha make in the measured pieces slipped slightly out of Jukai service, the more profound they alignment, and when there were errors in become. the instructions, it was a wonderful practice. This stitch. This stitch. This Some months ago I read Edith stitch. Grossman’s “Why Translation Matters”. She was mainly concerned with Also great practice was formulating my translation from one language to another personal responses to the Three Refuges, (something that is of the utmost the Three Pure Precepts and the Ten importance to all Buddhist traditions, Grave Precepts. As our bi-monthly Full especially ours). What really interested me Moon Ceremonies show us, as we take was that she suggested not only that all up a particular precept each time, the art forms, music, painting etc are precepts are deep, deep wells. We can translations, but words themselves are take a cup full and think that is it. If we translations. ‘Words themselves as keep dipping, the waters grow sweeter, translations’ seems to point to why and more invigorating. We can plunge in having to form your own verbal response and never find the bottom. They are to each precept in the Jukai ceremony is lodestars that can guide, like the stars for such a great practice. I found it difficult the mariners, though we are going to express all those years ago, and I

14 rather think it may be even more difficult embedded, embodied, into Living by now. It cannot be done lightly, off the Vow. Yet I also see that it is good to be top of your head; it has to come from very often reminded in the noise and your heart, your very core. You have to drama of our every day lives that ‘Form is put into words what is not fully exactly Emptiness: Emptiness exactly contained in words. Form’ and that ‘the whole–ten-direction- world is nothing but Self’, and remind For some time I have not been wearing myself that I have vowed to live the my rakasu when sitting. Again, this was precepts. not a conscious decision, and is not what should happen. ‘I wear the robe of Jukai is an inspiring step in practice, liberation, the boundless field of practice, practice, of living by Vow, benefaction, the teachings of the whenever, wherever, whatever happens, tathagatha, saving all the many beings” is when we can truly experience the love recited when putting on the rakasu. This and support of all on the path, and we does not seem like something to put on can all walk together. and off, but rather something to become

15 Thoughts on Jukai, March 3, 1986 By Maggie Gluek

When I unearthed these photos in an old I can’t remember the exact time frame album my first thought was “Everyone but, once announced, it seemed that we looks so young and beautiful.” A wistful didn’t have long in which to consider confrontation with . When taking this step. Those of us who Tony was shown the photos his participated plunged in holus bolus comment was “Everyone looks so grim.” without knowing too much. Sometimes Well it was a serious business. Aitken bypassing extensive deliberation can be a Roshi’s annual visit always carried a good thing. For me it felt primarily like a certain gravitas and this time he was formal declaration of commitment to the bringing with him a special ceremony that Buddha Way, a non-negotiable he had never performed before. A commitment that already existed. I ceremony in which students took and remember liking what Geoff Dawson received the precepts, the ethical said, that for him this ceremony was like foundations of Zen Buddhism, made a getting married when you had been living bib to be worn as an emblem the with someone for a while. And it was an Buddha’s robe, and were given a Dharma opportunity to enlarge practice. by the teacher.

16 The first matter to negotiate was making out, have the nature of woods and waves, the rakusu, a fabric jigsaw puzzle. Some birds and flowers, mountains and clouds. of us held sewing bees, doing the work Some years later I thought of the together. I bow to Marion Bagot, master cowardly lion in The Wizard of Oz. The seamstress, who guided us and frankly rakusu Roshi bestowed on me, like the relieved me of the trickier bits. Without badge of honor the Wizard hung around her I may not have finished it in time. My the lion’s neck, was not something rakusu was subsequently lost. Before it delivered from outside but an emblem of was found I had occasion to make what was already true in me, is true in all another one, this time solving the puzzle of us, a reminder of that place of peace entirely by myself. Then I could truly where the precepts reside. You don’t appreciate this meticulous and grounding need a rakusu after all to receive the activity, a Dharma craft, a needle’s call to precepts and to live by them. attention. When my sister made a rakusu at the Minnesota Zen Center, under the I can’t find the vows I wrote for that tutelage of Tomoe Katagiri, she was jukai. For years they were on a piece of instructed to affirm with each stitch “I paper inside my rakusu case and then take refuge in the Buddha.” they went the way of all transient things. The only one I remember, for its As to a name, I remember having pithiness, was the Fourth Precept. “I vow negotiations with Aitken Roshi in the to keep my mouth shut.” As upaya the middle room upstairs at Annandale. He vows are, of course, alive and present, had asked those undertaking jukai to hopefully informing my thoughts, words, present him with a quality they aspired to and deeds. and something in the natural world they felt an affinity with. I nominated After the ceremony had finished that “courage” and “tiger” respectively. The evening, our got in the car to drive following Saturday morning he rang our home. I took the wheel, reversed to pull home at 8 am. Phoebe answered the out of the parking spot and without phone. I was deeply (and unnecessarily) looking crashed into the vehicle parked ashamed that Roshi had caught me in bed behind me. Was this breaking a precept when I should have been up doing zazen or just breaking headlights? A lesson in like a good student! For some reason, he cause and effect for sure. Everything we said, tiger wouldn’t work. He was giving do has consequences! May these me the name of Peaceful Dragon. consequences, with the guidance of the precepts, be wholesome and life That name, worn next to my heart, affirming. The cost of my inattention was original seat of courage (cor), was from almost redeemed by the effusive gratitude the outset encouraging and empowering. of the woman who owned the car (not a And these wonderful are nothing zendoid) when she found the apologetic if not enlarging! Dharma friends, it turns note with my contact details on her windscreen. We made a warm connection

17 Establishing the precepts so all will inherit the wisdom of the Buddha By Gillian Coote

Each time we come together as a sangha, This marks a formal transition in our we make our Bodhisattva Vows together. lives as lay Zen students. It involves long And, every month around the full moon, preparation – reflecting on the precepts we conduct either a Full Moon towards writing one’s own vows to be Ceremony, with a sharing circle for made publicly, making a rakusu, a symbol exploring how a particular precept might of the patchwork robe of Shakyamuni be understood, or recite the precepts with Buddha and his disciples and, with the ’s and Dogen’s responses teacher, finding a Dharma name. instead of the usual sutras. Thus the Way opens out as we articulate an ethical and Early in l986, ten of us made this moral framework for our lives, lives of commitment in our dojo at Annandale engagement, connection and compassion. after Aitken Roshi offered our sangha the Lives of benevolence and reverence. opportunity of Jukai. (see group photos elsewhere in this issue) This was the first Over the years, the cycle of exploring the Jukai ceremony he had ever conducted as precepts returns us again and again to the a teacher as, for various reasons, his own details of how we separate ourselves sangha had not yet taken it up. What a from other beings as we reflect on not bountiful Aussie harvest! killing, stealing, misusing sex or lying, on practising freedom from addictions, not Around this time last year, Lee asked speaking ill of others and not sparing the about taking the precepts. He had been Dharma assets…we begin to see just how practising for some time and felt ready to and when the Three Poisons of greed, take the next step of personalising the hatred and ignorance rise endlessly. sixteen precepts and making them his These circles provide precious space and own. Of course, this is a lifelong process time for sharing experiences, learning but, like drafting and re-drafting an essay, from each other and practising deep the time comes when you must rule a line listening. The sangha circle is intimate. under it and, with a trembling heart, you We accept that none of us perfect, that step up to the altar, your rakusu sewn, wherever we are on the path, the your Dharma name known, and your precepts serve as our guides. That there is vows expressing your heart-mind as best no pressure to speak. they can, at that particular moment.

From time to time, when a student is For Lee, that particular moment came ready to really internalise and personalise during spring sesshin last year. I’d hung the precepts, a public, formal ceremony is Slapp’s black and white portrait of a held in front of the sangha called Jukai – beaming Aitken Roshi in the dojo and literally ‘receiving (ju) the precepts (kai)’. Lee’s mother Sue and partner Mel had

18 come up from Sydney for the event. teisho of the actual body is the harbour After thanking them for their support, I and the weir. said: ‘This sangha supports Lee too – all of us here in the dojo today, and those As I said during Lee’s Jukai ceremony, back in town – the mahasangha of birds, one can refresh one’s intentions while frogs and stars – Robert Aitken Roshi – another student takes Jukai. As well, just and all Buddhas throughout space and as after many years of marriage people time. Lee has shown courage and sometimes renew their vows and re- determination to reach this point today – commit themselves to each other, one there’ve been months of reflection, can also renew one’s understanding of clarifying how he intends to embody the the precepts and take Jukai again. I Way in his life. He feels this is a never- renewed my vows with Aitken Roshi at ending process – he could go on refining Palolo in l994 after the Rohatsu Sesshin. his vows for many more months and Jitsu – actualizing the mist - is my years, and indeed they will inevitably Dharma name. Both sets of vows are change. But they are how they are today below, the renewal vows coming first. – he’s given them his best.

The precepts arose in the Buddha’s own The Three Vows of Refuge community and they give form to the realisation of inherent good – not ‘good’ I take refuge in the Buddha as opposed to ‘evil’, but self-nature, in his realisation on this day and the Buddha-nature, the separate self, brilliance of the light it shines throughout forgotten completely. They‘re not space and time. prohibitions, rather they are guides I return to the Buddha, to realisation. showing the way of wisdom and compassion, moving us beyond greed, I take refuge in the Dharma hatred and ignorance, beyond self- the of wisdom and love, with centred delusions. They are medicine for profound gratitude to my teachers. the Three Poisons – the Medicine I return to the Dharma, to truth. Buddha Aksobhya here in action. I take refuge in the Sangha Jukai is the only ceremony in which we the mutuality and interdependence of all publicly announce our intentions as lay beings, and the support of loved ones. Zen Buddhists. It is a major step both for I return to the sangha, to harmony. Lee and for me, as Lee is the first student to take Jukai with me. While we listen to Lee’s vows, we can refresh our own The Three Pure Precepts intentions, whether we’ve taken Jukai or not. We begin our ceremony with three I vow to maintain the Precepts vows.’ And so the age-old ceremony as best I can so that Buddha’s wisdom unfolded, with Sei Shin – Clear Heart – might be actualized in the world. Lee - emerging at the other end. The

19 I vow to do my best to practise all the I take up the way of not giving or taking drugs precepts. honouring my body, the bodies of all beings and the great earth herself, by I vow to practise all good Dharmas being mindful about what goes in responding as best I can to what comes through the mouth, eyes, ears and what up with integrity and love. goes down the sink and into the rivers I vow to nurture the Dharma. and oceans. I vow not to cloud my mind or body, or I vow to save the many beings cause others to be clouded, through by being present and calm with whatever indulgence in drugs, and to practise arises, and by not excluding life by self- acknowledging feelings. preoccupation. I vow to save all beings, including myself, I take up the way of not discussing faults of from delusion and attachment. others I vow to practise intimacy and love when I hear myself or others discussing faults The Ten Grave Precepts of others and to ask myself, is this is helpful or harmful? I take up the way of not killing I vow not to discuss the faults of others of practising nurturing and compassion even though this is sometimes very towards all of life. difficult. I vow not to kill or hurt mindlessly. I take up the way of not praising myself while I take up the way of not stealing abusing others When greed and desire for things or and also not praising others while experience arises, I vow to cultivate the abusing myself, but to find the middle trust that there is always enough to go way of acceptance and love. around, and to be patient. I vow to practise the open way of non- I vow to recognize thoughts of gaining. attachment to views and to receive others’ views. I take up the way of not misusing sex I respect the power of eros and vow to I take up the way of not sparing the Dharma be honest in relationships. assets I vow not to create unhappiness through of living generously and holding back, acting selfishly. enjoying the bounty and reciprocity of life. I take up the way of not lying I vow not to hold back from sharing. I vow to remember before I use words that speech is a powerful action that can I take up the way of not indulging in anger kill or give life. Even half-truths are irritation or defensiveness, to notice potent. when it arises, and to look into its roots I vow to try to speak appropriately and so it may be transformed. constructively in openness to all beings. I vow to be mindful of anger.

20 I take up the way of not defaming the Three As lay people together, we do not have a Treasures model of a priest as a leader, and follow by practicing the precepts with the in the footsteps of a few great lay people, support of the sangha so I can actualise from Vimalakirti to Robert Aitken Roshi, the Way in this life. who said, ‘Our everyday life is a great, I vow not to create discord and to be multifaceted that we resolve at lovingly protective of the Dharma every moment and yet never completely treasures. resolve… guided by these expressions of inspiration, the precepts.’

21 Jukai Vows, Allan Marett

The Three Vows of Refuge recognise that killing has powerful karmic consequences and destroys universes. I I take refuge in the Buddha vow to avoid killing and to practice non- I alone am the honoured one harming.

I take refuge in the Dharma I offer the following chorus from my The vast empty universe is no other than Noh play, Oppenheimer: myself So seductive; so technically sweet. I take refuge in the Sangha So seductive; so technically sweet I and all beings co-arise in this moment Dicing with God’s building and throughout all space and time blocks, remaking the world: The alchemists’ ancient dream, realised at last. The Three Pure Precepts At Los Alamos, blinded by his insight, I vow to maintain the Precepts Oppenheimer, like Hyakujo, I vow to live in harmony with the forgetting karma, sees Buddha, Dharma and Sangha and to The ten thousand things coming realise the Buddha Way through my forth without cause. actions in the world The cry of the small animal torn I vow to practice all good dharmas apart by the fox. I vow to realise the universal heart-mind Screams of children burnt alive at and to extend its loving kindness to all Hiroshima. beings What of these? What of these? The threads of karma I vow to save the many beings Are tightly woven through the I vow to realise my intimacy with all fabric of the world. beings by always acting with integrity, The laws of cause and effect with a compassionate heart and with cannot be evaded. generous hands The laws of cause and effect cannot be evaded

The Ten Grave Precepts I take up the way of Not Stealing When the whole universe arises as myself I take up the way of Not Killing and I arise as the empty universe, what is Although in essential nature there is no there left to steal? And yet as a society killing and nobody to kill or be killed, I and as individuals we steal on a daily

22 basis from those less fortunate and less I offer part of the final chorus of the first powerful than ourselves in to act of my Noh play, Eliza: support our affluence. I vow to cultivate an awareness of this ‘structural stealing,’ Freed from falsehood to avoid it where possible and to act with Her ghostly body falls away generosity towards those less fortunate And her spirit is delivered once than myself. again into The emptiness of country, where I offer another poem, this one from my every footstep pilgrimage on Shikokoku. Marks the track of Eaglehawk. Wing-tipped to the mirror lake, Breakfast at Tosa Kure she tracks the surface once Five female pilgrims listen; The mirror dances and she is free As a Korean monk holds forth. The mirror dances and she is free. “Buddhism is not About acquiring things,” he says I take up the way of Not Giving or Taking “Throw them all away” Drugs Video games, television trash, media I take up the way of Not Misusing Sex gossip, drinking to dull the senses – Within the boundless freedom of the Distractions are the poisons of our age – Way, I recognise that sexual acts, like we are constantly surrounded by them. I killing, have powerful karmic vow to be alert to those things that consequences. The burden of shame that distracts me from the fullness of this comes from inappropriate relationships moment and to learn to be careful that hurt rather than delight shuts me off around them. As for drinking wine and from my lover and from those to whom I laughing with friends though, perhaps must deceive. I vow to guard my integrity one day I will need give up even these, with my life. but not yet.

Another poem: A poem by Ryokan:

My Kannon pendant Waiting for a friend, I drink four Hanging at your throat or five Reflects back to me cups of this splendid sake. What it means to lose my heart. Already completely drunk, I’ve forgotten who is coming. I take up the way of Not Speaking Falsely Next time be more careful. The Way is intrinsically and self evidently true. I vow not to deceive myself or the I take up the way of Not Discussing Faults of world and to avoid doing things that Others would require me to lie. Discussing the faults of others cultivates a world of me in here and you out there. It nurtures the Self and obscures the

23 vastness of my true nature. Nonetheless in my heart and to let all that I am flow it is unrealistic to think that we can avoid out for the benefit of all beings. making judgments about people in our daily lives, whether as part of our A poem by the Tang poet Han Shan: professional activities or in safeguarding the dharma. I vow to avoid careless the unfortunate human disorder judgments of other and when called on a palate that's never weary to judgments about others, to do so in a of steamed piglet with garlic spirit of loving kindness. sauce roast duck with pepper and salt A pair of loosely matching haiku: deboned raw fish mince unskinned cooked pork cheek “Allan could do better” unaware of the bitterness of The litany of my school reports others' lives Year after year. as long as their own are sweet

And now young student I take up the way of Not Indulging in Anger I offer you a dose of Anger is unavoidable and can be a proper The same medicine. response to injustice, stupidity and cruelty, which spurs us to action. I take up the way of Not Praising Myself while Sometimes, as in response to slights and Abusing Others abuse, it alerts us to our own egotistical When we are truly on our own ground, clinging. Like all things, anger arises and there is nobody to praise and nobody to falls away. I vow to embrace it as a true abuse. When there is nobody to praise teacher, and then to let it go. and nobody to abuse we are truly one with all being. I vow not to separate A recent poem: myself from the great way by praising myself and abusing others: Earth day evening We turn out the lights I offer this haiku: And venture out

Oh, what a relief The street is ablaze To walk the pilgrim’s pathway The park is ablaze As a nobody. Every house and every unit Is ablaze with light I take up the way of Not Sparing the Dharma Assets I’m furious at everyone It is said that comes in through the gate is Outraged at the leaders not the family treasure, and that what Who sanction such bad flows out covers heaven and earth. In behaviour. accordance with this, I vow to curb stinginess in all things, to find generosity

24 Returning home I sit quietly in A final poem: zazen What can I do next year Hsueh-feng sits alone in the That will make this work better? empty hall Shakyamuni and Hakuin wait in I take up the way of Not Defaming the Three the wings Treasures We are all waiting in the wings Walking alone, as the vast and empty universe, as the inter-being of all things: A sword flashes this for me is the way of not defaming Buddha, Dharma, Sangha the three treasures. I vow to do my best Skewed right through to hold to this way in every moment and AHHHHHHHHHH in every place.

25 Jukai Vows, Sarah Kanowski

The Three Vows of Refuge I take up the way of not stealing There you are, dreaming your I take refuge in the Buddha thirst Small mind dropping away; endless When the water you want is opening to the way things are. Inside the big vein On your neck (Rumi) I take refuge in the Dharma The means of release, the way of I take up the way of not misusing sex liberation. The place of strongest holding on to the storyline of me is the place of greatest I take refuge in the Sangha liberation. Near and far, hard and sweet, unfolding together: bird, stone, star, us. I take up the way of not speaking falsely Words have the power to harm or to heal. Seeing the truth of interbeing allows The Three Pure Precepts me to speak the truth, practice the dharma, and nourish the sangha. I vow to maintain the precepts The precepts offer liberation from the I take up the way of not giving or taking drugs suffering of self-preoccupation. Not seeking distraction, may I instead bring awareness and acceptance to the I vow to practice all good dharmas experience of difficulty and fear. To discover and embody the way of the Buddha, again and again. I take up the way of not discussing the faults of others I vow to save the many beings Judgment breeds fear and false views. Who and where are the many beings? Judgment is softened with forgiveness Practicing the precepts and living out of and openness. the dharma is the means of seeing and saving. I take up the way of not praising myself while abusing others In separate skin but standing on the same The Ten Grave Precepts ground, we unfold together.

I take up the way of not killing I take up the way of not sparing the dharma Not killing but cherishing life. Cultivating assets kindness in thought, word and action. The well is bottomless. The way of giving is limitless.

26 I take up the way of not indulging in anger I take up the way of not defaming the three My original dharma gate, old friend, wise treasures teacher. Buddha, Dharma, Sangha. May we fully realise the way together.

Jukai Vows, Nigel Pearn

The Three Vows of Refuge The Ten Grave Precepts

I take refuge in the Buddha I take up the way of not killing Swimming out further than I can swim Peace is the way in mind, speech and back, I vow to realise that I am the ocean. action. There is no end to the path of perfection. I take refuge in the Dharma The truth is all that there is. I take up the way of not stealing There is no need to collect. The moon I take refuge in the Sangha shares light from the sun when it shines Wind works on stone as stone works on on all beings. wind. Hear it whistling and join in that song. I take up the way of not misusing sex My body is my teisho. Not proving anything means saying yes to pure energy. The Three Pure Precepts I take up the way of not speaking falsely I vow to maintain the precepts Who is this person who is speaking? The precepts are the guide and goal. Stop. Not rushing in allows deep What a fine knife for cutting pumpkin. listening.

I vow to practice all good dharmas I take up the way of not giving or taking drugs Get out of bed and put on your work Wine is just grapes but the canyon of clothes. Practice means being awake. So avoidance widens with watering. There wake up! are other paths to take.

I vow to save the many beings I take up the way of not discussing the faults of All things are related. Through practice I others save all beings. Foolish people are rich with talents. Let our better natures play together well.

27 I take up the way of not praising myself while I take up the way of not indulging in anger abusing others Softening my morality lets me take the Let compassion for myself and others hand of my little brother. When energy soften all these barriers. flows I am creative.

I take up the way of not sparing the dharma I take up the way of not defaming the three assets treasures Hiding it does not help. All things renew. Buddha, Dharma, Sangha. Three homes Celebrate it now. to come back to together.

28 Eulogy for Sexton Bourke, Insight teacher & Zen Roshi By Subhana Barzaghi

Sexton Bourke faced life and death with his reputation as a fine teacher spread equanimity, he died a peaceful and and he was also known and respected graceful death on the 26th May at home internationally. in Bellingen surrounded by his beloved family. Sexton was a dear dharma friend Sexton had two great passions in life, his of mine spanning over 35 years. He was a dedication and love of his family and his revered teacher in both the Insight Buddhist practice. He was the primary Meditation tradition and Diamond career for his autistic son Edward, who is Sangha Zen tradition. He was well known now twenty-one and managing to live and much loved especially amongst the independently in a shared house in local Buddhist communities along the Bellingen. His beautiful daughter Katrina, Eastern seaboard. He was a long-term a brilliant and dynamic young woman member of the Sydney Zen Centre and gave the most inspired powerful, loving, received transmission as a Zen Roshi in moving, humorous eulogy that I have 2010 at Kodo-ji Temple. He was a kind, ever heard at a funeral. Many of us who generous, warm, wise and very stood and listened by the graveside, unassuming humble soul. Over the years

29 envied such a deep loving relationship formal koan study together. This entailed between father and daughter. a once a month trip on his motorbike to Kuan Yin Temple in Lismore for a 1 & I first met Sexton in 1976 at one of the half hour dokusan (interview) with me first Buddhist retreats held in Australia. and then he turn around and drive back Sexton was introduced to meditation to Bellingen. When I moved to Sydney he back in those heady hippie days, by managed to maintain this once a month Victor von der Heyde, who is now an routine, only it was a longer six-hour Insight teacher in Brisbane. Sexton drive to Sydney. However, he was not turned up to a seven day wearing deterred and stayed over night at Victor’s his mechanic overalls. The rest of us were place and trucked back to Bellingen the fresh out of India, wearing long hippie next day. Sexton maintained this regular skirts and baggy pants. Sexton had no practice and routine for approximately 10 idea what to expect or wear at a retreat, years, which is an outstanding mechanic overalls were not the norm, so commitment to his practice. he stood out for me from the very first instance. Sexton was diagnosed with cancer seven years ago and despite the trials, pain and Sexton studied with various teachers, difficulties; enduring 4 major operations, Christopher Titmuss senior Insight several rounds of chemotherapy and the Meditation teacher and Zen teachers; decline of his health, he hardly ever , Robert Aitken Roshi and complained, such was his equanimity. John Tarrant Roshi and then took up Pamela his wife, who nursed him to the koan study with me for over 10 years. end, said emphatically he never Sexton was the founder of Tallowwood complained, which is remarkable in itself. Sangha in Bellingen. He was an embodiment of equanimity and deep peace right to the last breath. Sexton was a humble man of deep integrity and wisdom with a down to There were a couple of striking things earth style. He was originally trained as an about Sexton, one was his presence, he aircraft mechanic and his mechanic skills was just right there with you, gazing at served him well living in a rural you with those steady clear blue eyes. He community. He had an inevitable blokes was open and warm-hearted with every shed, full of handy tools to fix anything person he met, it was though he had all and everything. His practical skills flowed the time in the world for you, even over into his applied every day accessible through his exhaustive illness. The other teaching style. striking thing was his gigantic hands, those wonderfully talented hard working Due to Sexton’s caring role as a parent, it hands, that when they could no longer was hard for him to leave home and get out and tinker in the back shed to do attend regular . His practice their magic, they turned into expressive involved sitting every morning and whenever he spoke. studying koans. In 1987 we started

30 Sexton was a man who embodied deep realized his dire predicament and the wisdom and freedom. He was a clear doctors scheduled an emergency surgery example how one can find freedom and in the middle of the night, which saved peace in any situation, whether it be; his life. It was not the first time that sickness and failing health, mindfully Sexton came so close to death’s door. His doing the mundane tasks of washing life was hanging by a thread and yet his dishes or working on the farm. Several mind was steady and at peace. He said, he years ago, while we were teaching an felt like a leaf simply floating down the Insight retreat at Buddha Dharma, river of life and it was absolutely fine. Sexton reported an experience to me. He said, that he awoke one morning feeling At this time, Sexton was at his lowest as free as a bird, as if he was let out of a ebb, it was a real struggle fighting the cage. He described this freedom as a infection. During his darkest hour, Sutta result of putting down the burden of the 143, “Advice to Anathapindika” in the ego self. This was unlike other insight Majjhima Nikaya, appeared in his mind. experiences and epiphanies where the Sexton felt impelled to re-read this text. Aha! moment peaks and then fades, He requested the book and I had it sent however this feeling of deep peace and over to him. A couple of days later I freedom stayed with him and permeated organised an impromptu healing circle his days. for Sexton. A few Zen friends gathered around his hospital bed to offer a loving- As Joko Beck another Zen teacher who kindness and healing mediation for him. also died recently said, “the important work of practice is to learn how to deal When we arrived, Sexton was looking so with the egotistic self, that’s the work, much better and perkier than how he was and it is difficult.” This is the inner work earlier in the week. In fact to our surprise we do, day by day we keep shedding he was sitting up in bed, he picked up the those crusty layers. (Interview conducted Middle length discourses and started by Donna Rockwell, Shambhala reading Sutta 143 to us. These are the Sunspace). How did Sexton, Joko and teachings that Sariputra (the Buddha’s numerous other ancient teachers arrive at senior disciple) gave to the devoted a place of deep peace, freedom and layman Anathapindaka who was dying. equanimity? I can hear Sexton say, Sexton was very emotional, shaking and Practice, Practice, Practice. He had a crying as he read these profound solid commitment to practice every single teachings. They were not tears of grief, day. but tears of joy and delight, his heart was overflowing with gratitude for these After his fourth major liver operation liberating teachings of not clinging to any where they also removed his spleen and aspect of body and mind and the part of his pancreas, there were a series encouragement to let go. Sexton seemed of complications and he nearly died from to morph into Anathapindaka, Sariputa a post-operative infection. Luckily and the Buddha all in one. What was Pamela, with her medical knowledge touching for us, was that he was giving a

31 from his hospital bed. He practice. I remember, Aitken Roshi was teaching us on many levels, primarily saying; ‘make zazen the backbone of your that you can rely on the dharma, even in life’. Joko said, ‘meditation gives you the your darkest hour. strength to face the more complex things of your life’. She defined meditation, ‘as Due to this long stint in hospital with the awareness of what is, mentally and disruptive medical routines and low physically’. This is being with the energy, Sexton’s formal meditation suchness of things as they are. practice had waned. He left hospital feeling particularly depressed. At that In the last few months of Sexton’s life, I time, everything around him, his wife, asked him what was his practice these children, every thing he saw and days and are you at peace brother? Which experienced had turned to darkness and was one of the questions the Buddha suffering. One day while walking to always asked and inquired about with his collect mail at the front gate of his fellow monks. Sexton’s response was, “I property, a shaft of light penetrated am just sitting here in my armchair these through the bamboo grove and his days, looking out of the garden and depression lifted momentarily. He paddock on the farm. You know, the realised that he needed to re-establish a present is so fulfilling, so rich and formal daily practice again. After doing abundant, so complete, nothing can be so, three weeks later his depression lifted. added to it. I am completely at peace here”. In the last 3 years of his life, he made a commitment to sit every morning with a One of the hardest things for Sexton to small band of dedicated members from let go of, was his responsibility for his his Zen group in Bellingen. Even through son Edward. In one of the last his illness he continued to provide a connections he had with Edward, he told dharma talk and dokusan once a month. him, “I am indeed proud of you son for The group sat from 6am-7am followed what you have achieved. This was very by breakfast together at a café in town. meaningful for Edward. The group members headed off to work and Sexton would return home and rest Another piece of Sexton’s handy work or collapse. Sometimes it was the only and legacy is that he made several thing Sexton could manage in a whole Temple bells for various local meditation day, which was to simply attend the early groups. He heard that Sydney Zen Centre morning sitting in town. He did not have was looking for a Temple bell and made the energy to lead sesshin or intensive us a beauty, now installed at Kodo-ji, retreats so he decided to inspire students Temple of the Ancient Ground at to have a daily practice, through his Gorricks Run. The bells were made from example. re-cycled wheel rims, which represented the aesthetic of re-used things, which had These wise teachers knew something Sexton’s spirit stamped all over it. In a about the value of sustaining a daily twist of irony he called the bell, ‘Silence’.

32 When every the bell is struck, it is a call was deeply appreciated and loved by so to silence and stillness of the mind. He many, he will be dearly missed by; family wrote a poem for the bell. member, friends, community members, and the wider Buddhist Sangha. His The sound of the bell memory and teachings, his penetrating Calls to the ten thousand things, clear dharma eye, his loving presence, Wake to my silence! unshakable freedom and deep peace will rest in the hearts of those who knew and Sexton certainly requited his deep loved him. We thank you Sexton for obligation to the dharma, to his teachers being true to yourself, for above all just past and present, and to the Buddha Way. being Sexton. It was a privilege to be his friend, to work with him and to know him through the With deep respect and a deep bow, trials and tribulations of his life. Sexton Subhana Barzaghi

33 Planting Garlic, Grieving Sexton By Diana Levy

Hearing the news, I head into the bush to path keeps getting narrower and grieve. steeper...and all this time, Sexton, you practise. There is a sorry business place - a very small cave - and I find new furniture in it, After fire and tears, I avoid my grownup a circle of stones made by some local kid. office work. I plant garlic, wondering I make a new fireplace on a rock at the why. I have to remember each of the entrance and clear away the dead leaves. I garlic-growing steps, the things that Jan make the effort to think it through, make taught me, the things that John taught a rake from a branch, imagine the horror me, the things I’ve learnt myself. I feed if I start a bushfire here, the leaf litter and fork the soil, and think about the thick. It is careful heavy work, as though weeds and whether I’ll give them to my each dead gum leaf was made of lead. neighbour for her chooks or whether it’s Such is the weight of losing you from the too much trouble to reach beyond the world. But for you, perhaps a lightness, Colorbond fence. I remove the rocks and leaving dukkha behind, ‘goodbye,’ the smooth the soil as the day declines. weight transferred. Silent, solitary, calling the old dog for company, and I think, this is practise. I’m I crack sticks and tend the fire as practising the growing of garlic. And I’m carefully as you tended your son. What practising being in the world when you’re do I know about fires? You would know no longer in it. Your body as cool as about fires. The sticks must be small these creamy bulbs of garlic. I make holes enough to catch the heat of the leaves with a stick and plant each clove, and burn right through, to give their remembering to place them blunt end energy away. There’s a tiny orange flicker down. Last year I pulled some interesting of fire in my brown pile of leaves and ‘S-bends’ -Russian garlic planted upside sticks. It is slow careful work, a dampness down. in the fuel - you cracked small sticks for years and added them to the fire in the Small headstones - the white planter tags family hearth. And Pamela cracking sticks - in a chocolate-coloured bed. and treading faithfully with you as your liver gives a great HOWL of anguish - What will manifest here? blooming cancerous - your rocky hard

34 More on that Old Chestnut By Gillian Coote

When epicormal growth - a sign of stress collected from the grower and ferried to - appeared in the grand old chestnut tree Gorricks Run by Sally, Colin and Patrick at Kodoji, long before one half of it Forman. They were planted on July 24, completely died, I showed various photos l993, protected in wire cages from hungry of it to an arborist friend. 'Well, one wallabies, and named Buddha, Dharma reason for the stress', he said, 'could be and Sangha in a simple ceremony. At soil compression from cattle resting every monthly samu, buckets of water beneath it over so many years. You could were lovingly lugged over to them for the aerate it but' - and he paused - 'it would next several years. As shoots sprung from be even better to plant a new tree.' We the rootstock, they were cut. And when duly poked sticks into the soil beneath Buddha was faring less well, we dug it up the tree. Meanwhile, I consulted and replanted it. During this time, the Kathleen, my old school friend who lived grand old chestnut tree finally let go, as on a chestnut farm at Mt Wilson, Paul described in the last issue. All three regarding which variety would best chestnuts are now bearing fruit, to both survive in our valley, given its extremes the wombats' delight and ours. Jill of temperature. She found the right Steverson cooked some at the women's variety and grower near Orange, and we retreat in March and during our building ordered not one tree but three which, as samu, and Glenys included them in her Jean wrote in Mind Moon Circle, were altarpiece. The trees of wisdom thrive.

Erratum

The short item 'Rainbow Buddha' on page 26 of the last issue should have read:

You will find our Rainbow Buddha - pink, lime green, sky blue, yellow ñ doing zazen in a small kuti under a tree in the gully to the south of the paddock. He was presented to us by Graeme Lyall, then President of the Buddhist Council of New South Wales, on the occasion of the dedication of Ancient Ground Temple on October 28, 2001.

Photo Details

Page 6, 8, 13: Brian Gutkin's receives Jukai, 03/01/2008. Page 16: Charles Saxon, Marion Bagot with daughter Katherine, Kim Bagot, Jan Saar, Tony Coote, Maggie Gluek with daughter Phoebe. Geoff Dawson, Roshi with Rose Bagot, Ian Ramage, Gilly, Diana Levy.

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