Drinks in Mulliner
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The quarterly journal of The Wodehouse Society Volume 29 Number 1 Spring 2008 A Study in Scotch: Drinks in Mulliner BY Ken Clevenger t is rummy, when you reflect on it, how amusing it is I that a Mulliner story starts with some Tankard of Ale saying to some Small Bass in the cozy bar parlour of the Anglers’ Rest that . well, almost any remark will do. And as important to the introduction as this formula is, we know it makes absolutely no-never-mind to the dénouement, pardon my French. Yet it is naming the drink, qua drinker, that draws you in. This matter of drinks in Mulliner merits further inquiry. Our first mystery: Angostura. Were Adrian Mulliner to investigate, he would find that Angostura is a brand name for a bitters distilled from the bark of certain South American citrus trees and much used in the flavoring of drinks, alcoholic or otherwise. It is not to be confused with Bitter, a very dry British ale heavily flavored with hops. Thus, a Mild and Bitter is a beer drinker seeking a blend of the hoppy Bitter with a softer, blander beer, whereas a Lemonade and Angostura is a teetotaler who Ken Clevenger delivers a sermon at the Providence convention. wants the sweetness of his Lemonade cut with bitters. To consider this matter of drinks in Mulliner, I boot-soles beaten up in sherry,” so that magic potion have sipped the essence of 43 Mulliner stories. Without might be included in the wines. any claim of completeness, my survey reveals over Whether it is a quick one, a stiff one, liquid balm, 50 “drinks.” Forty-two different drinks appear as a spot, a bracer, or a reviver, drinks are a leitmotif in “listeners” in the stories. Seeking to impose some sort Mulliner. Scotch tops all drinks with references in 26 of order, I arbitrarily set up six categories of drinks: stories, more if we count the whisky. In 24 stories Mr. common distilled spirits—Scotch, whisky (which in Mulliner himself imbibes, and almost without exception those days, Norman Murphy tells me, would almost his drink is hot Scotch and lemon. Mr. Mulliner’s two certainly have been Scotch), brandy, gin, and rum; malt departures from this rule are in “A Slice of Life,” where beverages—beer, ale, stout, and lager; wines—including his drink is a hot Scotch with a slice of lemon, and in sherry, port, and champagne; liquors of a more exotic “The Romance of a Bulb-Squeezer,” wherein he omits nature; named cocktails; and finally, the nonalcoholic the lemon entirely. Mr. Mulliner’s favorite ingredient options in the stories. Candor also requires noting that is referenced as just Scotch (“The Rise of Minna Mulliner’s Buck-U-Uppo reportedly tastes like “old Nordstrom”), Scotch on the Rocks (twice), and once as a Scotch and soda (“The Reverent Wooing of Archibald”). Malt beverages of all types, with appearances in 23 Scotch on the Rocks has the distinction of being not stories, are second only to Scotch. Fifteen characters merely an alcoholic drink but also a “character” with are so defined: a generous mix of Ales, Lagers, Stouts, lines. An example of this literary device is related in Beers, and the classic Small Bass, with a record nine Appendix 3 of the Ring and Jaggard volume Wodehouse servings. The choice of malt beverages is vast. You can at the Anglers’ Rest, where they note that E. Phillips be a Tankard of Ale or Stout or a Draught Beer in a Oppenheim, in his autobiography, tells a story about Pewter. Most often the malt beverage is served as a Pint; Wodehouse’s use of a gin and tonic to identify a drinker it may be of Bitter, Lager, Stout, or Half and Half. But at a watering hole in the South of France. a Half (pint) of Stout is not unknown. And just as a Whisky is the next most prevalent distilled beverage Bass is always Small, there is also a Small Lager and the in the Mulliner stories, even though, as mentioned above, lager may be, irrespective of portion size, a Light Lager. it almost certainly would have meant Scotch when the Beer in a bottle is not unknown, but the Stout, Beer, stories were written. Irish whisky was the only other Bitter, and Ale characters are surely drawn from classic, type available in the United Kingdom then and even hand-pulled, porcelain taps. And Draught Ale and that was uncommon. However, I count the mention of Draught Stout are doubtless straightforward characters rye in “The Story of William,” set in the United States, of substance. More subtle or complex are the Stout and as a whisky sighting and Webster’s lapping the stuff up Mild, Mild and Bitter, Stout and Bitter, and Half and Half, in “The Story of Webster” is also counted. A reference drawn and mixed under the taps by the erudite barmaid. in 17 stories is thus noted. Whisky Sour, Whisky and Most drinks evoke some image of the drinker. If Splash, and a Double Whisky and Splash are characters. distilled spirits cost more than malt beverages, is the Whisky and soda is slightly less common than a splash. drinker more richly dressed? What makes a Milk and Whisky and soda also seems the drink of solace. It is Rum “well-informed” and Lemon Squash an anti- never a character but appears as the preferred poison smoking advocate? Why should a Mild and Bitter be after one has passed through the proverbial furnace. “tactless” and a Sherry and Bitters “genial”? But like the It is, for instance, “revivifying” to George once safely debate over whether Bertie has a monocle or not, we all home in “The Truth about George.” have our own mental pictures of these characters. So Following close on whisky’s heels is gin, but only a Tankard of Ale is different from Ninepennyworth of once taken straight in the case of an anonymous dog in Sherry, but how, exactly? The comic genius is in letting “The Knightly Quest of Mervyn.” Primarily gin is in a us form our own images rather than an exact description mix. Classically, gin is served as a martini, and among of a particular character. the Mulliner characters there are a Dry Martini and a We can be pretty certain that the malt beverages Gin and Italian Vermouth. Martini cocktails, specified and whisky-like distilled spirits hold more allure than as medium dry, are also drunk. And gin is also mixed the wine behind the Anglers’ Rest bar. Champagne is with Angostura, ginger beer, ginger ale, and sometimes, the king of vinous quaffs with nine mentions but only confusingly, described as gin and ginger. Doubtless Miss one champagne character: a Half bot. And it can be Postlethwaite knows her customers’ customs when they mixed with a little port, sherry, Italian vermouth, old place such an order. brandy, and green Chartreuse as is done in “The Ordeal Brandy appears rarely and never as a character. It of Osbert Mulliner.” Likewise, if you mix oxygen and mixes with soda in two stories and is an ingredient in potassium with a splash of trinitrotoluol and a spot of several ad hoc mixtures. The combinations are curious old brandy, you can make a libation that can be retailed and no proportions are given, but even if the brandy in America as champagne for a nice price, as we learn is old (hence more sippable), the mixtures are not from Wilfred Mulliner. recommended as a party punch. Sherry barely noses out port as the next favorite Curiously, given the British naval tradition and fruit of the vine. There are three Sherry characters: long association with Caribbean culture, rum is rarely Ninepennyworth, Sherry and Bitters, and Sherry featured. And when it is, it is as the character Rum and and Angostura. Rationalists may quibble that these Milk in five stories. An amazingly popular drink, I must last two represent a distinction without a difference. say, for when I imagine myself sitting in the bar parlor But Wodehouse never wrote imprecisely. Angostura of the Anglers’ Rest, my drink is much more likely to be has a different taste compared to other bitters, and a the Double Best Port or a Draught Ale (depending on connoisseur would specify which. the weather and the mood) than Rum and Milk; but to Port appears as a Small Port, the Double Best Port, each his own. and Port from the Wood, and is also drunk as a glass 2 Plum Lines Vol. 29 No. 1 Spring 2008 of Port, the Oldest Port, and the ’87 Port. Also among Lemon Squash one. A Milk and Soda is doubtless the wines, Italian vermouth makes cameo appearances aptly described as “meek” and “little” in one of the with, or is it in, gin in three stories. few instances where a description and drink seem to Like the lesser wines, there are liqueurs which are mesh. And clearly the Plain Vichy and the Ginger Ale rarely drunk and never appear as a character, so the are teetotal characters, as was Clarence Mulliner with next category is cocktails. In three stories, cocktails the excellent glass of water he had when a prisoner are mentioned but none are specified. Excepting the of the Mayor of Tooting East. It is equally clear that, martini, addressed above in the context of gin and while a bracing sip of something stimulating is a good Italian vermouth, cocktails are only named in two tales: accompaniment to the pleasure of reading a “The Story of William” and “The Knightly Quest of Mulliner story, it is hardly necessary.