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Falling out of Romantic Love: a Phenomenological Study of the Meaning of Love in Marriage Crystal Hemesath Iowa State University

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Falling out of Romantic Love: a Phenomenological Study of the Meaning of Love in Marriage Crystal Hemesath Iowa State University Iowa State University Capstones, Theses and Graduate Theses and Dissertations Dissertations 2016 Falling out of romantic love: A phenomenological study of the meaning of love in marriage Crystal Hemesath Iowa State University Follow this and additional works at: https://lib.dr.iastate.edu/etd Part of the Behavioral Neurobiology Commons, Family, Life Course, and Society Commons, and the Psychiatric and Mental Health Commons Recommended Citation Hemesath, Crystal, "Falling out of romantic love: A phenomenological study of the meaning of love in marriage" (2016). Graduate Theses and Dissertations. 16721. https://lib.dr.iastate.edu/etd/16721 This Dissertation is brought to you for free and open access by the Iowa State University Capstones, Theses and Dissertations at Iowa State University Digital Repository. It has been accepted for inclusion in Graduate Theses and Dissertations by an authorized administrator of Iowa State University Digital Repository. For more information, please contact [email protected]. Falling out of romantic love: A phenomenological study of the meaning of love in marriage by Crystal Wilhite Hemesath A dissertation submitted to the graduate faculty in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of DOCTOR OF PHILOSOPHY Major: Human Development and Family Studies Program of Study Committee: Tera Rose Jordan, Major Professor Brenda Lohman Tricia Neppl Carolyn Cutrona-Russell Nathanial Wade Iowa State University Ames, Iowa 2016 Copyright © Crystal Wilhite Hemesath, 2016. All rights reserved. ii DEDICATION For Kasia. iii TABLE OF CONTENTS Page ACKNOWLEDGMENTS ................................................................................................ vii ABSTRACT .................................................................................................................... ix CHAPTER 1 INTRODUCTION .......................................................................... 1 Background ......................................................................................................... 2 Key Terminology ................................................................................................. 5 Conceptualizing Love .......................................................................................... 6 Literature Review: Highlights and Theoretical Underpinnings ........................... 7 Problem Statement ............................................................................................... 10 Statement of Purpose and Research Questions .................................................... 11 Research Approach .............................................................................................. 11 My Role as the Researcher .................................................................................. 11 Assumptions ......................................................................................................... 12 Rationale and Significance of the Study .............................................................. 13 Summary…. ......................................................................................................... 18 CHAPTER 2 LITERATURE REVIEW ............................................................... 19 Literature Review Procedures and Findings ........................................................ 19 Taxonomies of Love ...................................................................................... 26 Terminology for Types of Love .................................................................... 30 Variable Terminology ................................................................................... 34 iv Theoretical Framework ........................................................................................ 35 Sternberg’s Duplex Theory of Love .............................................................. 35 Adult Attachment Theory .............................................................................. 38 Social Exchange Theory ................................................................................ 42 How and Why We Love: Theory and Conceptualization .................................... 44 Biological Theories ........................................................................................ 45 The Dynamical Evolutionary View of Love .................................................. 45 Drive to Love ................................................................................................. 47 Marital Trends ...................................................................................................... 49 Divorce …….. ................................................................................................ 49 Marital Happiness: Past and Present .............................................................. 53 Gender Differences in Emotional and Relationship Development ...................... 54 The Longevity of Romantic Love ........................................................................ 56 Does Romantic Love Endure? ...................................................................... 56 When Romantic Love Ends ........................................................................... 59 Mate Selection ..................................................................................................... 61 The Role of Personality and Knowing Oneself… ............................................... 63 Factors That Influence FORL .............................................................................. 65 The Role of Commitment .............................................................................. 65 The Role of Change ....................................................................................... 70 The Role of the Subconscious Mind .............................................................. 70 Previous Studies on Falling Out of Romantic Love ............................................ 73 v The Preliminary Study ......................................................................................... 81 Research Sample ............................................................................................ 82 Findings…….................................................................................................. 84 Summary and Limitations .................................................................................... 86 CHAPTER 3 METHODS ..................................................................................... 88 Rationale for a Qualitative Research Design ...................................................... 88 Rationale for a Phenomenological Research ....................................................... 89 Overview of the Research Sample ....................................................................... 92 Information Needed to Conduct the Study .......................................................... 93 Overview of the Research Design ........................................................................ 94 Data Collection Procedures .................................................................................. 95 Ethical Considerations ................................................................................... 95 Recruitment Process....................................................................................... 96 Interview Process ........................................................................................... 99 Data Analysis ....................................................................................................... 100 Trustworthiness .................................................................................................... 103 CHAPTER 4 FINDINGS ...................................................................................... 107 Summary of the Participants’ Stories .................................................................. 107 Description of the Findings .................................................................................. 115 Elements of Romantic Love and Marital Satisfaction ......................................... 118 Pathways to FORL ......................................................................................... 124 Dimensions of FORL ..................................................................................... 151 vi CHAPTER 5 DISCUSSION AND IMPLICATIONS .......................................... 167 Different Pathways to FORL ............................................................................... 167 Discussion of the Findings on the Research Questions ....................................... 169 Research Question 1 ...................................................................................... 169 Research Question 2 ...................................................................................... 183 Research Question 3 ...................................................................................... 188 Recommendations ................................................................................................ 191 For Individuals Entering Romantic Relationships ......................................... 191 For Professionals ............................................................................................ 193 Other Salient Findings and Discussion Points ..................................................... 199 Participant Uncertainty .................................................................................. 200 FORL as
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