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Home , Ana Marie Cox, Crooked Media, Erick Erickson, Jon Lovett

1 Published by BBL & BWL, LLC / Produced by Athenry Media © 2018 BBL & BWL, LLC Alexandria, Virginia All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or modified in any form, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

2 Table of Contents

Foreword ...... 4

Part 1: Lessons on Success ...... 6 Adam Carolla ...... 8 Mitch McConnell ...... 10 David Axelrod ...... 11 ...... 13 My Mom ...... 15

Part 2: Lessons on Relationships Sebastian Junger ...... 18 Megan McCardle ...... 20 Joe Trippi ...... 22 Ana Marie Cox ...... 24

Part 3: Lessons on Lifestyle Andy Crouch ...... 27 Bee Wilson ...... 29 Courtney Carver ...... 31 Daniel H. Pink ...... 33 Donald Rumsfeld ...... 35 Erick Erickson ...... 37

Matt Lewis Biography ...... 39

3 Foreword

For almost a decade now, I have been interviewing interesting people (authors, entertainers, thinkers, writers, and newsmakers) on my Matt Lewis and the News podcast. (I lost count of how many a long time ago, but the number has to be in the neighborhood of 1,000 conversations.)

Some of the people I have interviewed have shared insight or advice that is both timeless and relevant. This eBook contains some of the best life and leadership tips I have gleaned from podcast guests over the years.

I have incorporated these lessons into my life and career, and I thought you might find them useful, too.

Thank you to the guests who have appeared on the podcast—and to the people who financially support these interviews on Patreon.

Lastly, a special thanks to my wife Erin (for putting up with me), Thomas LaDuke of FTR Radio (who edits and produces the podcast), and Kristi Speights (who edited this eBook).

Best, Matt K. Lewis

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Part 1: Lessons on Success

5 Jon Lovett On Dreaming Big

Youthful naiveté isn’t always a good look. However, it might just be a prerequisite for becoming wildly successful. This occurred to me when I talked with Jon Lovett in 2014.

Before co-hosting , hosting , and helping found , Jon Lovett worked as a stand-up comedian, presidential speechwriter, television producer, and screenwriter.

During a podcast discussion, we delved into the lessons he has learned along the way. After all, not everybody can parlay a stand-up career into a successful stint as speechwriter for and . And not everybody can parlay that into post-Obama fame. At every step along the way, Lovett has dared to dream big.

“There’s a great Steve Martin line from his book ... it’s something along the lines of, ‘Delusions of grandeur are great to help you get between the moments of genuine inspiration,’” he said.

“I always think about that,” he continued, “because I love a delusion of grandeur. And if you talk to any writer [in Hollywood], they vacillate between believing that they’ve just failed out of the business and ... in their minds, they’re accepting Emmys by the dozen. Those are the two settings for people, I think.”

Cynicism comes easily to people who have spent years in the same profession. No matter your dream or ambition, you pay your dues to achieve it. In imparting wisdom to others, we may inadvertently squelch their ambition and enthusiasm.

Until I was in my 30s, I managed to preserve a similar irrational faith in my future success. I was wide-eyed and optimistic and ... stupid. I was going to be a professional baseball player ... a musician ... a political commentator. But guess what? I wouldn’t be doing what I’m doing today if I had been realistic about my chances of success in this crazy business.

6 Matt Lewis and the Newsmakers

Don’t get me wrong. Losing touch with reality can be dangerous. It opens you up to huge disappointments and the potential for being scammed or exploited. On the other hand, taking on any great challenge—no matter how noble the cause—requires a bit of delu- sion. As G.K. Chesterton put it, “a perfectly rational lover would never get married” and “a perfectly rational army would run away.” There’s no way I would have persevered in this career without at least a little bit of irrational exuberance.

Part of success involves humility and realistic expectations. Leaps of faith are required, as well as a desire to prove skeptics wrong. Take it from Jon Lovett (and Steve Martin), and embrace at least a few delusions of grandeur. And if you’re a parent or a mentor, make sure to tolerate (nurture!) it in others.

7 Adam Carolla On Doing It for Free

Way back in 2011, comedian Adam Carolla appeared on my podcast to support his then- new book, In 50 Years We’ll All Be Chicks.

Carolla’s transition from carpenter to famous comedian, podcaster, and author fascinated me. How many comedians start out by installing carpeting? How many get their big break thanks to working as a boxing trainer (who happened to help train a young Jimmy Kimmel)? Clearly, this guy understood the value of hard work.

More to the point, I asked him about the importance of being willing to work for free to break into an industry.

Regarding the millions of dollars he’s making now: “I’m being paid back for all the years that I paid money to take classes at the Groundlings [a school for improvisational and sketch comedy] and paid money to be part of the ACME theater–and, certainly, the ten years of basically pro-bono comedy work,” said Carolla. “All these open mics. All this standing in line just to perform for three minutes. This is what I’m being paid back for.”

Carolla didn’t stop doing it for free, once he turned pro.

“For everything I do [that gets released to the public],” he said, “I bet you there’s two things—you know, there’s a script I’m working on, there’s a meeting I had, there’s a proposal that we’re putting together—that turn out to be nothing.”

“Even at this level,” Carolla said, “half the crap I do never sees the light of day.”

The apparent surface cynicism belies his obvious enthusiasm. Carolla has built a successful career in comedy and entertainment because his passion for reaching his current level eclipsed his desire for short-term monetary gains.

His story also emphasizes that much of the work that contributes to success happens behind the scenes.

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I’m not nearly as famous as Adam Carolla, but his advice rings true to me. My first writing gig was at Online, where I started off blogging for free. I then got hired to be the Director of Operations at Townhall.com. In that capacity, I negotiated (as a condition of my accepting the job offer) the ability to on their site. That’s right: Writing for them wasn’t something they were initially paying me to do—it’s something I essentially was given as a fringe benefit.

Today, even though I get paid to write columns and appear on TV, I still do lots of stuff for free. My podcast, Matt Lewis & The News, is lucky to break even. I am not paid for doing radio or podcast interviews or for appearing on the Bloggingheads.T V show “The DMZ.” I’m not paid for all the time I spend on social media to promote my columns or TV appearances. Nor am I paid for the numerous book proposals I have written in vain.

If you’re looking to break into show business (and politics has been called “Hollywood for ugly people”), take Adam Carolla’s advice. Prioritize experience and exposure over a quick buck (especially early in your career). With a little luck, you’ll make it back—and more— on the back end.

9 Mitch McConnell On Sticking to the Game Plan

In June 2016, I interviewed Senator Mitch McConnell at the American Enterprise Institute. We discussed his memoir, The Long Game, and ran the audio as a podcast. McConnell, who can sometimes come across as stiff or formal, let a bit of his humor shine through. He also talked about his life’s story, which is more compelling and inspirational than you might think. We talked about his history of overcoming adversity, which guided him on his journey to the top of the U.S. Senate.

While his dad was in Europe fighting World War II, a young Mitch McConnell contracted polio. The doctors taught his mother a regimen to administer to his leg four times a day. “And don’t let him walk,” they admonished.

Now, remember that McConnell was two years old at the time. Imagine keeping an in- quisitive two year old from walking. Nevertheless, that’s exactly what she did. “They were afraid that if I tried to walk too soon, the muscle wouldn’t cover as much as they hoped it was going to, and I’d be in a brace for the rest of my life,” he explained.

“So, she literally watched me like a hawk every waking moment for two years,” he said. “And my first memory in life was my last visit to Warm Springs [], when the nurses told my mother that they thought I was going to be okay without a brace and without a limp. And we stopped at a shoe store on the way home and bought a pair of low-top shoes.”

What did McConnell learn from his mother’s actions? “It was an example of extraordinary discipline, sticking to a game plan, and getting the desired outcome. And I think for most of us who are not overnight sensations ... that’s really the key to success, no matter which particular kind of work you go into.”

One of the biggest predictors of success in life is a willingness to postpone instant gratification and put in hard work for a long-term gain. Mitch McConnell (who went on to achieve his dream of being Senate Majority Leader) learned this lesson from his moth- er, and he has been playing the long game ever since.

10 David Axelrod On Building a Good Workplace Culture

When I did a Fellowship at the ’s Institute of Politics in spring 2018, the positive workplace culture was immediately clear. The team that former Obama strategist and advisor David Axelrod assembled was kind and hospitable, but they were also highly competent and organized. Every person there looked to be having a blast. In my experience, this reflects well on the organization’s leader.

When I had the opportunity to interview Axelrod in June of that same year, I wanted to get a sense for whether this was intentionally constructed. I discovered that good office culture doesn’t happen accidentally.

Axelrod traced his workplace philosophy to his days working as a cub reporter at the Chicago Tribune.

“The thing that made it work was this sense of shared mission ... a kind of familial sense of informality [and] humor,” Axelrod said. “And one of the reasons the Obama campaign worked out so well was that he believed that, too.” (Recall that both President Obama’s 2008 election and 2012 re-election paired groundbreaking, creative use of technology with a dedicated activist and volunteer base.)

“I’ve learned from these experiences and in building my own business and putting my staff together here [at the University of Chicago’s Institute of Politics]:

You want to encourage that sense of camaraderie, that sense of shared mission, that sense of humor. And if you do, you’re going to be much more successful,” he continued.

Axelrod notes that an informal workplace culture isn’t just for fun; it can be an effective business strategy. People who are afraid to upset the boss are unlikely to propose a brilliant, if risky, creative idea. Moreover, people who feel abused are unlikely to work at the same job for a decade, which means you bleed institutional knowledge and have to

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invest time and money recruiting and training replacements. In politics, a team that feels secure and happy is less likely to leak anything to the press about their bosses or coworkers.

Although this is an important lesson for anyone, Axelrod notes that organizational leaders generally set this tone. “It all flows from the top,” he said. “If the leader exudes those qualities, they will be passed on—and the people asked to join will reflect that. If the leader is a grinding misanthrope ... you’re just not going to have camaraderie, you’re not going to have people who stand up for each other, and you’re not going to have that sort of joyful experience that I think produces the best results.”

If you are a leader, don’t take a positive workplace for granted. Go out of your way to cul- tivate an environment where people are happy to work.

12 Tucker Carlson On How to Succeed in Journalism or Any Job

My former boss, Tucker Carlson, is one of the most fascinating people I’ve ever known in my life. The famed host and Daily Caller co-founder has been on my podcast three times (and I hope that’s just the beginning). During his second appearance in January 2015, I asked him how to succeed in journalism.

“The people who are in journalism and succeed in it are the ones who probably couldn’t do anything else, nor want to do anything else,” Carlson joked, before discussing three qualities he believes a good journalist must have.

The first is “a commitment to telling the truth,” Carlson said. “We’ve had plenty of al- coholic employees [at the Daily Caller], a lot of bad-tempered ones, [and] people with, you know, bad hygiene. We’re tolerant of all of that. You lie, in any way, and you get fired immediately.”

“Number two,” Carlson continued, “is an interest in other people and their stories. If you’re not interested in the world around you, you’re not going to be a good journalist.” “And the third is a passion for reading,” he said. “You’re never going to be a good writer—or even a capable writer—or even a clear writer—unless you read a lot and read for pleasure.”

“I look for people who are honest, who are curious, and who read,” said Carlson.

He went on to describe why he considers these qualities vital.

“You’re never going to succeed in any job unless you’re naturally suited to it. I don’t care how hard you try,” he said. “You have to have the natural qualities that will make you successful in that business, right?” he asked.

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I couldn’t agree more. Carlson’s advice here comports with one of my favorite quotes on how to be successful: Psychologist Angela Duckworth said that, in picking a career, you should “choose easy” but “work hard.” Duckworth discovered this maxim while doing research on “grit.”

Her point is simple: Being successful is hard enough, even if you’re doing something you’re naturally good at. The demands of success—the hours of time spent mastering a career—mean that you probably won’t commit to a job (that you don’t enjoy) long enough to achieve anything meaningful.

To be successful (or at least have a chance at success), Duckworth and Carlson agree: Find your natural strengths and lean into them.

14 My Mom On Human Dignity

During my career, I have had the privilege of meeting and interviewing many interesting and important people. However, my best podcast starred my Mom, and we recorded it right after the 2016 presidential election.

When my Mom told me that she voted for , I was a bit surprised. Although I’ve never actually embraced the term, I’m often labeled a “Never Trumper.” When she told me she volunteered to drive people to the polls on Election Day, I was very surprised. I wanted to know her motivation.

Mom lives in Pennsylvania and is especially attuned to the lack of dignity—by which I mean the lack of respect shown to a lot of working-class Americans in the 21st century. As manufacturing jobs have evaporated, so has a lot of self-esteem. She helped me un- derstand that, regardless of Trump’s ability to deliver on his promises, he appeals to many working-class Americans.

“I really believe that people want to work,” she said. “The people of central Pennsylvania voted for change. They want jobs, and they want their self-esteem back. There’s nothing like earning a paycheck—getting a paycheck on Friday night—to perk up your ego.”

Trump seems to have intuitively understood that many working-class Americans (including my Mom) feel demoralized. Solutions from both parties seem to vary to each extreme: liberals tout welfare, and conservatives glorify entrepreneurism (see Mitt Romney’s 2012 Republican National Convention). However, most working class Americans don’t want to collect welfare or start a small business. They just want a job.

It’s a simple, yet profound, concept. As Arthur Brooks wrote back in 2010, “Earned success gives people a sense of meaning about their lives. And meaning also is a key to human flourishing.”

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Trump’s victory demonstrates that spiritual and psychological needs transcend merely meeting our material or physical demands. As my Mom explained, working helps give us purpose and satisfaction. We can argue about ridiculous government “make-work pro- grams” that use tax incentives to retain jobs, but Trump taps into some deep-seated roots of human nature.

My Mom’s takeaway lessons: Free money won’t make you happy. There is honor in hard work. Joy comes from having purpose and meaning.

I’m forty-three, and I’m still learning from my Mom.

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Part 2: Lessons on Relationships

17 Sebastian Junger On Sacrifice

Writing about Adolf Hitler’s ironic appeal, George Orwell observed: “Whereas Socialism, and even capitalism in a more grudging way, have said to people ‘I offer you a good time,’ Hitler has said to them ‘I offer you struggle, danger and death,’ and as a result a whole nation flings itself at his feet.”

It was a counterintuitive, but true, observation that is shared by other keen observers. “People don’t mind hardship. What they mind is not being necessary,” said Sebastian Junger in July 2016. We were discussing his book Tribe: On Homecoming and Belonging.

According to Junger, people crave belonging, and part of belonging is responsibility.

“If you’ve been asked to do something by a group,” he said, “it seems like an imposition; but really what it means is you’re now receiving the benefits of belonging to the group.

Communities demand things of us, but the interesting part is that we crave this. Take, for example, Junger’s observation that some effects of PTSD (beyond the actual trauma suffered in battle) seem to result from the loss of camaraderie and connection when a military deployment ends.

We also talked about how rates of suicide and depression actually decrease during an existential threat, such as during the Blitz or in the immediate aftermath of 9/11.

One of the consequences of modern civilization, which asks very little of us, is that we don’t feel the same sort of patriotic love for our country.

“People value something they make sacrifices for, and the fact that we live in a country where we feel like we don’t owe it anything means we don’t value it as much,” Junger said.

“Soldiers are very patriotic because they have actually made a sacrifice for this country,” he said. “It creates this enormous emotional investment in the thing they made the sacrifice for.”

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“Humans are a social species,” said Junger. “We evolved to survive through great adversity, and we are most likely to survive when we are a part of a closely cooperated group.” Junger continued, “So, adversity, danger, hardship—what they produce in people is a communal group behavior ... the worse the circumstances, the better people act as a g roup.”

I’m the first to admit that this was a heavy topic to unpack, but I learned a couple of important lessons from Junger. First, if you want to have joy, build community. It might feel like a lot of work at first, but making friends and building a “tribe” fills a deep human void. Second, if you are a leader (of a church, a business, a political party ... whatever) you should probably be asking more—not less—of your team. It sounds counterintuitive, but people want to belong to something greater than their own self-interest—and they want to sacrifice for a good cause.

19 Megan McCardle On What Bad Relationships Can Teach Us About Sunk Costs

Sometimes, economic lessons come from real life—not the classroom.

“Bad relationships are an excellent way for people to learn about the peril of sunk costs,” Megan McArdle said in 2014, when she joined my podcast to promote her book The Up Side of Down.

She spoke from personal experience.

“In my early 30s, I spent years in a relationship that wasn’t working out,” she said. “And it was sort of clear that things weren’t going quite right, but I was too afraid to rock the b o at .”

So what did she do?

“Instead of saying, ‘Wow, I’ve already lost several years on this relationship, I need to end it now,’ I said, ‘I’ve already lost several years on this relationship, therefore I need to spend more years on this relationship, trying to salvage it, so that it won’t have been a waste.”

Of course, the fallacy of sunk costs transcends personal relationships. This is the reason people don’t get up and walk out of a bad movie. It’s the reason that people keep feeding a slot-machine at a casino. At the macro level, this same principle is the reason nations become bogged down in unwinnable foreign quagmires; quitting the fight doesn’t just mean accepting failure—it means that past sacrifices were for nothing.

Even if you are aware of this psychological tendency, you may have a hard time overcoming it. Consider this example from the Corporate Finance Institute: Assume you spend $200 for a snowboard trip at Grouse Mountain. Later on, you find a better snowboard trip at Cypress Mountain that costs $100, and you purchase that ticket

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as well. Unknowingly, you find out that the two dates clash, and you are unable to refund the tickets. Would you attend the $200 good snowboard trip or the $100 great snowboard trip? A majority of people would choose the more expensive trip because, although it may not be more fun, the loss seems greater. The sunk-cost fallacy prevents you from realizing what the best choice is and makes you place greater emphasis on the loss of unrecoverable money.

I would be loath to admit to myself that I had wasted $100 on an inferior trip— even if doing so was a prerequisite to going on a better trip (for the same overall cost).

Whether it’s a vacation or a boyfriend or a bad movie, make sure you’re not doubling down on an inferior opportunity.

21 Joe Trippi On Making Friends By Asking for Favors

“I had never seen snow before,” Trippi recalled in my 2015 podcast, while sharing an old campaign story. “My car in an ice storm in Iowa, [and it was] my third or fourth day in Iowa in 1979 ... My car slid off the side of the road.”

“I went knocking on the farmer’s door, where my car had gone into the ditch. He got his tractor out, and he hooked the chain up to the axle and pulled my car out. And the whole time I’m talking to him about, you know, ‘Why are you here, son,’ and telling him I’m there for Ted Kennedy.”

“And we’re talking more and talking more,” Trippi continued. “And by the time he gets my car pulled out of the ditch, he’s for Kennedy. And so, I’m starting to think like, ‘Wow, this is a strategy! Just keep driving the car.”

It’s a funny story, but there’s an underlying truth in it. Honestly, Trippi probably could have won countless votes by following his strategy of asking farmers to help with his car. This might sound counterintuitive, but it’s true.

This phenomenon is called, “The Ben Franklin effect.” According to the story, Ben Frank- lin had an enemy he wanted to win over. Instead of trying to win him over by doing that guy a favor, Franklin decided to ask to borrow a book from him.

Franklin did so and then returned it with a thank-you note. The two ended up becoming friends for the rest of their lives.

I’m not sure how embellished Franklin’s story (or Trippi’s) might have been. Nevertheless, a 1969 study by psychologists Jon Jecker and David Landy confirmed that the effect really did work.

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A person can’t psychologically justify hating someone they’ve helped. Having done them a favor, their attitude toward that person changes (to comport with their actions).

Regardless of why it works, it’s important to realize that it does. This knowledge should bolster our confidence when we ask someone for a favor.

23 Ana Marie Cox On Reinvention, Making Real Friends, and the Gospel of Grace

Ana Marie Cox had it all. As the blogger behind the irreverent and profane “” website, she was famous and edgy. She was the “it” girl.

Then, she crashed and burned.

“I had a very sort of literal crisis of faith and conscience,” Cox said during my 2015 pod- cast. “And my marriage ended. My career was in trouble. I was in a deep, personal, dark hole—and that required me just doing something completely different with my life. I had to change my life completely.”

Part of the problem, she said, was that she had defined her identity and her worth by her level of fame. If she got attention, she felt worthwhile. If she didn’t, she didn’t.

Cox went dark for months. She left the DC scene, logged off , moved to Minneapolis, and embraced the Christian faith.

Changing her employment status and physical environment taught her how to find real friends—people who weren’t just trying to cozy up to someone famous.

“When I introduced myself to people,” Cox said, “I didn’t have a place where I could borrow some legitimacy or some importance from. And so, I had to make friends the hard way ... they had to learn who I was by what I said and did when I was around them. And here’s the shocking thing: People wound up liking me, even though I didn’t have a business card. Even though I wasn’t tweeting about them, I wound up making friends that, for some reason, still liked and respected me.”

This same concept helped her develop new, healthy relationships.

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“I have a life and a group of friends that don’t care what I think about Hillary’s e-mails. My husband does not watch cable news, and when he does, he watches Fox. So, he’s not real up on my appearances.”

“And that’s where the concept of grace and belief in God and Christ as my savior comes into play,” she said. “I don’t have to do anything to really be worth something.”

Not everyone goes through what Ana Marie Cox went through and comes out the other side. I’m glad she did, and I hope that her testimony continues to inspire and influence others.

For someone like me, who also works in the journalism world, Cox’s story is a good reminder that it’s never wise to define your value by the number of TV hits or Twitter followers or people who recognize you on the street. Doing so might serve as a short-term ego boost, but it is a guaranteed one-way ticket to loneliness and emptiness.

It is also yet another reminder that the good-looking, famous people who seem to have it all aren’t always happy or fulfilled. The next time you glamorize someone who seems to have it made, keep in mind that a lot of them are struggling with something—just like all of us.

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Part 3: Lessons on Lifestyle

26 Andy Crouch On Keeping Technology From Destroying Your Family

When I heard Andy Crouch speak at a conference about his book The Tech-Wise Family: Everyday Steps for Putting Technology in Its Proper Place, I knew I had to have him on the podcast. After all, we all struggle with moderating our technology use, and this skill becomes vital when you raise kids.

Crouch’s most interesting advice to families is to rearrange furniture in your home to facilitate certain behavior.

Crouch advocates putting devices (TVs, computers, etc.) at the edges of a house (say, in a cold basement), while filling the center of the home with things that encourage creating, not consuming.

“We wanted our kids to walk in, and there is a piano there,” he said, speaking of when his kids were little. “And then we had a craft table in front of the window, where they could draw and paint and make a total mess.”

“Move the TV out of the living room,” he advised. “The Latin word for ‘hearth’ is focus,” he said (a fireplace is supposed to be the focal point of the home). Sitting around a fire is more likely to spark conversation than, say, sitting around a TV.

Crouch suggests intentionally setting up your house to spark community. “What’s the main thing in our home,” he asked, “and how do we symbolically place it in the center of our home?”

When it comes to devices, Crouch advocates sharing screen time and music time with your kids.

“Apple’s first real breakout product was called the iPod, but why was it called the iPod?” he asked. “Why not the ‘WePod’?”

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“All through human history [music] was communal ...We don’t listen to music through earbuds,” he said.

This advice really resonated as being the right thing to do for my family. The key is to be intentional about everything. Rig the game. There are hacks and tricks we can em- ploy to nudge our kids (and ourselves) to spend our time more wisely. Don’t rely on willpower to do the right thing; stack the deck in advance. For this reason, you won’t find a television set on the main floor of my house. Thanks, Andy.

28 Bee Wilson On Changing Your Taste

“There’s a widespread assumption that somehow, naturally, we’ll move from childish tastes into adult food,” said Bee Smith when I spoke with her about her book First Bite. “But unless we allow ourselves some mechanism to change our palates, it doesn’t happen automatically. It happens through exposure.”

According to Smith, a healthier diet goes beyond simply eating better foods—you must train yourself to want better foods.

This advice actually transcends the food realm and applies, more broadly, to life, where we must all train ourselves to like the things that are good for us. In fact, Smith’s line about moving from “childish tastes into adult food” reminds me of Apostle Paul’s line to the Corinthians, “When I was a child I spake as a child ... but when I became a man, I put away childish things.”

In our natural (fallen) state, our tastes are unrefined. It is only through exposure— usu- ally forced on us by someone who has our long-term best interests at heart— that our tastes change and mature.

A child who eats chicken nuggets every night and watches cartoons might be fine. How- ever, if your teenager is doing the same thing, you might have a problem on your hands. What if you instead expose your child to healthier dietary and intellectual fare? Eventu- ally, the greasy cheeseburger—like the insipid cartoon (or laugh-track sitcom)—might become repulsive or off-putting.

“Palate-changing is, to me, the absolute key to learning to eat better,” she continued. “Because, all of us, give or take, pretty much eat foods that we like. So.. what if you could somehow change to the point where your comfort foods are healthy?”

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If we are largely the product of our experiences and if we acquire our tastes through exposure, then it is crucial that we expose ourselves to quality things. Don’t assume that you are the way you are and that there’s nothing you can do to improve. In some areas of our lives, we must all retrain ourselves. The trick is that you can’t deprive yourself (that’s why fad diets never work); you have to change yourself.

30 Courtney Carver On Minimalism

In 2018, I talked to Courtney Carver (creator of Project 333, where people wear only 33 items of clothing for 3 months) about her book Soulful Simplicity: How Living with Less Can Lead to So Much More.

Carver preaches minimalism: a movement that frees people from the trappings of con- sumerism and seeks to liberate them from accumulated stuff—be it physical, psychologi- cal, spiritual, financial, or health related. The accumulation of junk is a universal struggle.

We make excuses for not reducing our stuff. Nostalgia is a big culprit. Trust me, I know. This is why I still have a banjo in my closet that I can’t play. It belonged to my Dad, and— despite the fact that he hardly played it and it having no special sentimental value—I can’t bring myself to part with it.

I have made some progress—mostly, the result of having moved two times in the last four years. Once I kept my Dad’s old prison guard uniform; now I have saved only his badge and a patch. I got rid of most of my old yearbooks (I kept my senior one).

“With sentimental items,” Carver said, “I don’t think just because something is sentimen- tal means we have to keep it ... We can enjoy the memories without the item.” One solu- tion might be to take a picture of the item.

As Carver pointed out, many people who keep items don’t get to enjoy them. “If you do have sentimental items and you want to enjoy them, then enjoy them,” she said. “Use them. If it’s your grandmother’s dishes, eat off the dishes. Don’t hide the stuff because it’s not serving the memories or the items.”

Rarely do I miss anything that I’ve tossed out, with a couple of exceptions: Now that I have kids, I wish I had kept my old Nintendo system and games, as well as my sports trophies. The kids would love playing those games (and the trophies might help convince them that their Dad was once athletic and cool). Still, doing so would have meant lugging boxes around from apartment to apartment for years.

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Hoarding piles of “mementos” in your closet or garage might postpone the emotional toll that comes from getting rid of things that (a) we think we might eventually need or (b) remind us of the old times. When this happens, “it becomes a burden or a responsibility to hold onto it, but with really no great reason,” Carver said.

The life lesson here is that clearing out physical clutter might free up mental and emotional space, as well as physical space.

32 Daniel H. Pink On Perfect Timing

I’ve known Daniel Pink for about a decade. I first interviewed him when his terrific book A Whole New Mind came out. But I probably picked up the most practical advice when he came on the podcast to discuss his 2018 book When: The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing.

You’ve probably heard of “how-to” books. Well, Pinks’ is more like a “when-to” book. In- stead of telling you what to do, it focuses on something that nobody ever mentions: when to do something.

For example, according to Pink, certain times of the day lend themselves to doing (and not doing) certain things. Often we consider what to do and how to do it, but we rarely contemplate when we should do something.

“The effects of time of day on our performance, on our mood ... are massive,” Pink said.

Most things—from when to jog to when to see a doctor—seem to favor early risers.

Let’s say you have to schedule a surgery. “Do not go to a hospital or schedule an important doctor’s appointment in the afternoon,” Pink warned. “I no longer let anybody in my family go to a hospital or to an important doctor’s appointment in the afternoon. The data on this are overwhelming,” he said. “Let’s take something like anesthesia errors,” Pink continued. “Anesthesia errors are four times more likely [to occur] at 3 p.m. than at 9 a.m.”

At least with a hospital visit, you have choices when it comes to scheduling. Not every interaction is as flexible.

Citing one 2011 peer-reviewed study of Israeli judges, Pink said, “What turned out was that if your parole hearing was earlier in the day, you had a pretty good shot at parole. As the day wore on, your odds of parole declined significantly.” Pink added that other timing factors affected parole success, such as the judge’s break times. Prisoners coming in just

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after the judge had a breather had about a 70% chance at winning their case.

But you don’t have to be a parolee or a hospital patient to benefit from Pink’s advice. All of us can increase our effectiveness by paying attention to the clock and the calendar. And Pink’s guidance includes more than just waking up early; it’s about finding the part of your day that works best for the tasks you need to accomplish. Most of us, Pink says, are more vigilant in the morning when we can “bat away distractions.” Mornings are for “focused, heads down, kind of [analytic] work.” Pink says afternoons are for administrative work, such as filling out expense reports or answering routine e-mails.

Interestingly, Pink says evenings are our recovery period, when our mood is elevated but our vigilance doesn’t rebound. He says evenings are the perfect time for creativity (including brainstorming). The real secret, according to Pink, might be taking breaks. Going for a 15-minute walk can help mitigate these downtimes and restore your mood and alertness.

Pink’s lessons are a good reminder that not all times are created equal. When you’re planning your day, make sure to keep this in mind. Try not to schedule an important interview for 2 p.m. And, whatever you do, don’t schedule surgery for 4 p.m.

34 Donald Rumsfeld On Pruning Your Life

For a man who built an impressive career, it might be interesting to learn that one of his key insights involves shedding extra baggage. But that’s just what I discovered when, in May 2013, former Secretary of Defense Don Rumsfeld came on Matt Lewis and the News to discuss his book Rumsfeld’s Rules. Of all the “rules” we discussed, the most important might be the power of subtraction.

Great artists know that it’s often not what you put in, but what you take out that matters. But this principle applies to almost any endeavor. Unfortunately, human nature eschews the “less is more” mantra.

“There seems to be a pattern, in government and even in business, that people get bigger salaries if they have more people working for them—or they get bigger salaries or bigger bonuses if they have more products,” Rumsfeld lamented.

“It seems to me that what we need to do is to constantly be thinking about how we can improve something,” he continued. “And the way to improve something is to add to it, to be sure.”

“But at the same time you’re adding value, you might want to look at things in the lower 5% and prune them out,” Rumsfeld said.

The point is not that we should quit trying to take on new challenges, but that we should temper our bias toward increase by constantly reevaluating how our time and energy are spent.

“If you keep adding improvements and, at the same time, [are] dropping out things that were interesting or valuable or useful at an earlier period, but may not be quite as useful or valuable as they were once,” he said, “you’ll be better off.”

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In what is probably an apocryphal story, Michelangelo was asked about the difficulties involved in sculpting his masterpiece. His reply: “It is easy. You just chip away the stone that doesn’t look like David.”

Our tendency is always to add more (instead of subtracting). This bias transcends our work. Having financial problems? Your sole instinct might be to make more money, even if what you need to do is reduce spending. Not happy with your social life? You might fill up your calendar, when what you need to do is spend more one- on-one time with a loved one. Want to get in shape? You’re probably more likely to start an exercise regimen than you are to cut out pizza.

Sometimes the key ingredient—the thing that takes you from good to great—is your ability to subtract wisely. This is true in work and in life.

36 Erick Erickson On Overcoming Regrets

Erick Erickson has been called “the most powerful conservative in America,” and powerful people rarely admit their mistakes. However, during a conversation about his book, Before I Wake, the conservative blogger and radio host expressed regret about his past rhetorical sins.

“The things I did a decade ago that I’m not proud of—like, for example, my statement about or about Michelle Obama—they come up from people who don’t like me, and they say, ‘You can’t listen to this guy because he said this about this person.’”

The statements Erickson referenced are bad enough that I won’t reprint them here. Erickson has not only apologized for much of it, but life experiences have (over the decade or so that I have known him) given him more wisdom and empathy. Aside from the normal difficulties of life, Erickson has experienced the joys of parenthood and difficulties of serious family illness in the last decade—a journey that has inspired him to leave a lasting legacy and soften his rhetoric.

Erickson noted that the internet has made atonement an even trickier prospect. It is hard to turn over a new leaf when you have a paper trail of mistakes that people can throw back in your face to discredit you.

“I find there’s a real tendency on social media that everyone has to be defined by the worst thing they’ve done in life,” Erickson said. “You’re not allowed to grow up. You’re not allowed to move beyond it. You have to own it. It is you. I hope that I show other people more grace than I am shown for those things. Because we’re going to be in a terrible place if none of us are allowed to move beyond the bad things we’ve done in the past.”

One of the problems with not being able to escape your past is that there is no incentive to change. After all, why improve your behavior if people are going to constantly remind you of past transgressions? At the very least, it is a frustrating and demoralizing existence.

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“There is definitely something worldly, something devilish, about the idea that because you’ve done something bad you’re not allowed to speak up for good,” Erickson said. “And we all have to overcome that. We’re all sinners. We all fall short. But that is so that we can say, ‘I’ve done this bad thing. I’ve learned my lesson. You don’t need to repeat it,’” he added.

For much of its history, America was the last bastion for reinvention. You could pull up stakes, head out west, and start over again. The internet makes it much harder for us to pursue this aspect of the American Dream. Millions of young people are tweeting things today that they might later live to regret. Future generations of digital natives may figure out how to manage this, but Erickson and I are from that in-between generation that had to figure this all out on the fly.

Maybe you’ve done something in your past that you’re not proud of. (I know that applies to me.) Whatever it is, don’t let your past define your future. Yes, there will always be people who try to make you relive bad words or deeds. Learn from your mistakes, and make them stepping-stones instead of gravestones.

38 Matt Lewis

Matt Lewis is a senior columnist at , a CNN political commentator, and the author of the book Too Dumb to Fail: How the GOP Betrayed the Reagan Revolution to Win Elections (AndHow It Can Reclaim Its Conservative Roots).

He also hosts the popular podcast Matt Lewis & The News, and ‘ co-hosts The DMZ show on Bloggingheads.TV.

Matt’s work has appeared in outlets such as The Wall Street Journal, GQ, and The Wash- ington Post—and he has been quoted or cited by major media outlets including New York Magazine, , and .

Matt grew up in Frederick County, Maryland, and graduated from Shepherd College (now University) in Shepherdstown, West Virginia. He lives with his wife and children in Alexandria, Virginia.

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