Survival of the Kindest: Towards a Compassionate Society

Dacher Keltner University of California, Berkeley [email protected] http://greatergood.berkeley.edu

SYMPATHY BREAKTHROUGHS (JONATHAN GLOVER, HUMANITY)

• George Orwell • Miklos Nyiszli • 75% of soldiers refuse to shoot at enemy AN EVOLUTIONARY CONUNDRUM & PARTING OF WAYS

• Russel-Wallace: created by

• Thomas Huxley: Sympathy is a cultural construction

DARWIN: SURVIVAL OF THE KINDEST Darwin argued that sympathy “will have been increased through natural selection; for those communities, which included the greatest number of the most sympathetic members, would flourish best, and rear the greatest number of offspring”

(Darwin, 1871/2004, p.130). TAKE CARE OR DIE A RELIABLE SIGNAL OF : IT’S NOT IN THE FACE

THE VOCAL REGISTER OF COMPASSION

Diagram of oral cavity, nasal cavity, and larynx VOCAL BURSTS OF POSITIVE (Simon-Thomas et al., 2009)

100 90 80 70 60 50 40 30 20 10 0 VIRAL GOODNESS: THE SPREAD OF COMPASSION • Neonate distress cries • Emotional, Physiological Convergence in Friends • Compassion inspires • Generosity spreads through networks (Fowler & Cristakis) • increased in altruistic clusters • Collective Joys TACTILE CONTACT: THE 1ST LANGUAGE OF COMPASSION

Diagram of the hand and wrist Diagram of the skin TOUCH • Rewards • Signals Safety • Builds • Soothes

TOUCH AND THE SPREAD OF GOODNESS

Emotion and Touch

70 60 50 40 Correct Label 30 Next choice Emotion 20 10 0 Frequency Choosing Correct Correct Choosing Frequency Compassion THE PROSOCIAL NERVOUS SYSTEM

Oxytocin and Trust

60

50

40

30

20

10

% Who Give Maximum Away 0 Oxytocin Control

ARC OF HISTORY: AND COMPASSION • Continuing the trend towards less harm • Reductions in bullying, torture, rape, death in war, murder, assault (Steve Pinker, 2012) TAKE A BREATH • Nirvana = breathe out • Yogic practices, : start with breath • Breathe in, out counting to six, 21 times • Changes in vagal tone, reductions in BUDDHISM

“ If you want others to be happy, practice compassion; if you want to be happy practice compassion” - His Holiness, the Dalai Lama

KINDNESS IN THE WISEDOM OF THE AGES

A person of jen, Confucius observes, • “wishing to establish his own character, also establishes the character of others.” • “brings the good things of others to completion and does not bring the bad things of others to completion.”

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion” - His Holiness, the Dalai Lama

PRACTICE TOWARDS SELF AND OTHERS • Loving Kindness: • Wish for of two people every day (for one minute) • We all suffer, experience , extend kindness to others • Self-Compassion (Kristin Neff) • Loving Kindness improves: • Brain function (left hemispheric activity) • Immune system function • Vagal tone GRATITUDE • for what has been given to you • Gratitude diaries, reflections, letters, kind speech • McCullough: Written accounting of gratitude, better health three weeks later • Lyubomirsky: Once a week write down what you’re grateful for, it boosts happiness EMERSON: AND COMPASSION In the woods, we return to and . There I feel that nothing can befall me in life-- no disgrace, no calamity (leaving me my eyes), which nature cannot repair. Standing on the bare ground, — my head bathed by the blithe air and uplifted into infinite space, — all mean egotism vanishes. I become a transparent eyeball; I am nothing; I see all; the currents of the Universal Being circulate through me; I am part or parcel of God. The name of the nearest friend sounds then foreign and accidental; to be brothers, to be acquaintances, master or servant, is then a trifle and a disturbance. I am the lover of uncontained and immortal beauty. “Nature”(1836/1982), p.39 d = .52

 Pens  Self-importance  Entitlement  Taking money d = .58 d = .88

d = .86 d = .45

Awe, vastness  virtuous behavior Coding Touch

PRACTICE KINDNESS “If any civilization is to survive, it is “If you want others to be happy, the of altruism that men practice compassion. If you want to have to reject.” be happy, practice compassion.” - Ayn Rand - The Dalai Lama

0.25 0.2 0.15 Giving away 0.1 $20 if more 0.05 rewarding than 0 Give to others Spend on self -0.05 spending $20

-0.1 on oneself

Change in happiness morning from -0.15

-0.2 THANK YOU! greatergood.berkeley.edu