PUBLISHER: J. BERMUDEZ FORMATERS: T. AUDET K. PEARSALL Inside this issue: Just another long 1 weekend? BBQ with the fresh 1 meat Volume V, Issue ii Wednesday, October 19th, 2011 In a world without 2 Charlie Sheen Just another long weekend? Dreams do come true 4 October 10 th marked a Peter Pan principle 5 historical day, yes it did! Besides being an extra day to just kick Pinkberry the new 6 back and stuff our gullets full of blackberry stuffing, cranberry sauce, a few vegetables, gravy, the old gob- TWISS 7 ble gobble and surround our- selves with family, it was also a Five good reasons not 8 to watch jersey shore day for enlightenment. Five Guys review 9 I would wager a few dollars that most of you don’t know where Top 5 80’s movies 10 the tradition of Thanksgiving Feeling the pump once 11 comes from and, to be honest, I again wasn’t entirely sure myself until I started researching it. In the The low down on 13 States, it takes place to cele- chowing down The Gobble takes center stage. brate the harvest of various Sabre FM– John Mayer 14 goodies but in good ol’ Canada unsuccessful trip to find the North- I want to take a moment to we celebrate for the sake of ern Passage to the Pacific Ocean. say why I love Thanksgiving Matthew Swanson– 15 homecoming. Now this won’t be The point was not the failure but so much and that’s just Athlete of the year a history piece because frankly the effort made and the fact that about everything. I love the that would be above my interest with his failure, he still remained! fact that it’s one more thing Recovering from em- 16 span and even I might glaze Later on though, Samuel de Cham- to say when a customer is barrassments over, so here’s the gist of it. plain celebrated in the spirit of har- leaving the store and they Famous explorer Martin vests, but I prefer to celebrate that seem pretty sincere when The boy among the 17 Frobisher returned from an men we’ve all made it through another they say it back. I love year and another Living with siblings 18 month of school! -Continued on next page Ten teams to watch in 19 this years EUFA How to avoid nudist 22 BBQ with the fresh meat colonies The grade eight barbeque is a ting, experiencing their first shockers? cream of the crop environment flirts, and begging Matthew Dick Sutherland Secondary 22 Sam White- "There’s a lot more for youngsters to socialize with- to be first in the cotton candy apprenticeship people and it’s a lot easier than out being surrounded by intimi- line-up. I was reminded of the elementary school." B-B-B-Bacon 24 dating elites, such as myself. It’s old days, full of nervous happi- the time for candy that’s cotton, ness and careless friendships. A Lauren Rivard- "A lot easier than Mr. Thornhill vs. 25 tanks that dunk, and castles couple of the grade eights sat I thought and not as many scary Gordon Ramsay with a certain bounce to them. I down for a chat and a few ques- people." sat back and put on my thinking tions. Senior girls volleyball 26 cap as the pocket-sized grade Has grade eight brought any eights ran around giggling, chat- -Continued on next page Huggin’ it out for the 27 last time Page 2 Just another long weekend? Cont’d pumpkin pie, cranberry sauce and of course, stuffing! But, I think the number one reason I love it is the warmth I feel. I feel warmth when I see my extended family pour in, when the laughs are plentiful, when I see that gorgeous table laid out with food, when old stories are being told and when joy is all around. It’s when everything is calm in the world or at least seems calm and it’s when a sigh of relief can truly be released. Of course after the big day, there seems to be some big leftovers and with that uses must be made! My favourite thing to do is take some turkey, cranberry sauce and stuffing and put in on a sandwich. It’s absolutely divine! I think when it comes to leftovers in general, simple is better. Most magazines have these creamy, goopy, breaded turkey surprise casserole things on the list and honestly, there’s nothing I’d want less. Go for simple! Whip up some soup by adding some broth, rice, fresh vegetables and spices; now that’s great for fall! Get creative but don’t get complicated! If I wanted you to take one thing from this article it is this: everyday is a gift, every family member is a gift, everyday is a new op- portunity and it’s one where you have so many more choices than people in other countries (or even Vancouver!). Be creative and don’t be afraid to show your true colours, there’s no one else with your fingerprints so make your stamp on the world! And with that, I say: Happy Fall! Happy October! And, (a belated) Happy Thanksgiving! - Derrick Gravener BBQ with the fresh meat Sam White- “Ketchup, it’s the amaz- Do you think this event will help you make ingest!” friends? Lauren Rivard- “Ketchup, mayo, pickle.” Sam White-”Sure I’m friends with Nigel.” Tor Fagerland- “Anything...” Tor Fagerland-”Probably not.” Multiple people were sucked into the Are you upset your sister Marina isn’t here? dunk tank to the evil delight of the Sam White-”I don’t really care.” grade eights. The students gorged themselves on food and jammed to Darby Spence practicing her social skills with Jackson Spencer’s DJ’ing. They flut- What station are you most excited for? the grade eights! tered from game to game and Sam White-”Dunk tank and bouncy castle!” squealed with delight like little piggies Ben Walker & Spence McArthur-”Dunk tank.” Judging by the eighter’s joyful faces, the event each time they saw a friend. was quite the success as each student left with What condiments will be accompanying your their pearly whites on display. hot dog? - Frances Miltimore & Katarina Tsamis In a world without Charlie Sheen n Walde “When On September 19, 2011 we celebrity prank show Punk’d; The first of the Two and a Half t ap- said a solemn farewell to the nowadays he’s better known as Men ninth season two-part chmid S egan hilarity that was Charlie Harper. Demi Moore’s husband. CBS is premiere opens at a funeral; ed it b pear , paying Kutcher $700,000 per with Charlie's brother Alan t chain a gian episode to replace Sheen, mak- Harper standing in front of a down hutting As many of us know, due to his ing him the highest paid actor room full of women, and Char- s n of in television, second only to his lie’s loved ones. Charlie’s signa- mentio lifestyle and “winning” atti- all er” tude, Charlie Sheen was fired predecessor Charlie Sheen ture outfit hanging behind him, e Harp Charli from the CBS television series before being replaced. So as Alan attempts to give a eulogy Two and a Half Men . To replace the show begins its ninth sea- of Charlie’s life, interrupted by Sheen’s character Charlie son, the fans will have to get the snarky remarks of Charlie's Harper, the show hired actor used to a change; a change by numerous exes. Evelyn, the Ashton Kutcher. He starred in the name of Walden Schmidt. Harper brothers’ mother, cuts That 70’s Show and hosted the -Cont’d on next page Volume V, Issue ii Page 3 In a world without Charlie Sheen Cont’d Two and a Half Men as it is today. Now with Ashton in advertising the sale of the house. Rose gives an explanation of Kutcher’s singing voice throwing off the nice melody we all how Charlie slipped and fell in front of a train resulting in “his enjoy. body exploding like a balloon full of meat.” While the jokes made on Charlie’s expense were funny, a number of them undermined the fact that the scene was still a funeral. The bitterness of the exes became tiresome after the first two comments were made about their experiences with Charlie Harper. The most apparent bitterness was that of the creators of the show, trying to get in as many hits on Charlie Sheen as they could in the span of ten minutes. The material was funny but totally unnecessary to the scheme of the show. So after the mudslinging and the debate of what to do with Char- lie’s estate as well as a few cameos, Alan is brought the golden urn containing the ashes of his dead brother. Alan sits and remi- nisces about his time in Charlie’s home with remarks about the past, including my personal favourite line from the episode, “Just like the old times huh? I’m talking and you’re in a bottle ignoring me.” Alan also tosses out ideas to the urn o’ Charlie about what to do with him. Dismissing his brother’s wishes on the grounds of “I don’t think Pamela Anderson will agree to swallow your ashes.” as well as not wanting to bring him to their mother’s house since “That’s how the beginning of horror movies start.” Alan concludes he will sprinkle Charlie’s ashes on the beach being a dignified version of his brother’s life, “Pretty girls covered in oil sitting on you all day.” Alan then turns to leave and is surprised to see a soaking wet Ashton Kutcher standing outside, causing Alan to let out a rather feminine scream and spill the ashes everywhere.