September 4, 2001 TIIE RETRIEVER WEEKLY Page 11

Brand new horoscopes are here. 15 Abby Foster reports from Rome.16 New Built t~ Spill album is unspectacular. 16

[insert name here] by anna kaplan ell, it's only the sec­ either, but just really bad. ond week of school Honestly, [inh] was not W and [inh] is already expecting entries, seeing as it bored with the academic life. was only the first issue of the It has a very short attention semester and UMBC students span, plus it doesn't take much are notoriously apathetic. It's when you're already a senior always good to have no expec­ (senior year, take one, to be tations, because then if noth­ exact - did you really think a ing happens you aren't disap­ column such as this one could pointed and if something does be done with college in only happen you are pleasantly sur­ four measly years?) and prised. Thus [inh] was pleas­ semesters fly by with less and antly surprised this week to less distinguishing characteris­ find a contest entry in its tics. [inh] is one jaded column, inbox. There was only one, but sitting in its office on a Friday it's going for quality over night writing itself and feeling quantity here and this one was old despite its objectively definitely top-shelf. It hailed young age. from a someone who failed to That being said, summer, divulge his/her name, thus this Jeremy Wustner-Brown I Retriever Weekly Staff with all its inherent horrors, column is forced to use the seems long gone. Out of sight, first part of his/her e-mail out of mind, as the cliche goes. address, which is Nturen. This Welcome Week Unites Students Last week's contest asked you, is his/her list: Campus Activities Acquaint New Students with UMBC dear readers, to come up with 5. Working in a 120-degree the Top Five Really Bad Ways kitchen for 14 hours a day. was from August 25 to September ERIN LEATHERWOOD the instructions, Playfair was still to Spend a Summer. And not 4. Working in an outdoor 3. It grouped an assortment of a good place to get up close and Retriever Weekly Contributing Michael Jackson type of Bad, events, some educational and personal with people you didn't see [INH], page 18 Writer some just plain fun. To assist in know. Welcome Week is an excel­ these events is a barrage of staff, At Convocation, the fresh­ lent chance for freshman and mainly the Welcome Week man class is welcomed into the Jay, Silent Bob Strike transfer students to become famil­ Leaders referred to as "woolies:" UMBC Community. President iar with each other and the the students who volunteer Hrabowski addressed the incom­ UMBC campus. "All of the through the Office of Student ing class. Also, Presidential Back with Vengeance Welcome Week activities broke Life. Honors were given to various fac­ One of the featured events the new college ice, allowing us ulty and staff members of the uni­ Last Film of Duo Howlingly Funny was called Playfair. It was held at to meet tons of people and get versity. After Convocation, the the RAC on the evening of This week's review is spon­ Although not the most creative acquainted to campus very fast," new Retriever logo, a more fero­ sored by Kevin Smith's bon voy­ and insightful of his films (my said Rick Blake, a Computer August 25. Playfair was basically cious black and gold depiction of age comedy Jay and Silent Bob favorites being Clerks and Engineering major. an hour and a half of getting to UMBC's Chesapeake Bay know everyone around you. Strike Back out of 4). Dogma), this blatant disregard for This year, Welcome Week <*** While it was a little hard to hear see WEEK, page 16 Filled with a high concentration all that is "pure and decent" is of expletive-laced one-liners, sure to please all that look at it gross-out gags, and strategically with the right state of mind ... you know what I mean. Stabbing Westward Rocks Recher Movie Review The story goes that Banky Band Shares Pain and Anguish with Receptive Crowd by Sue Harris (Jason Lee's character from Chasing Amy) has sold his comic placed inside jokes for those of us book superheroes "Bluntman and RYAN BLOOM began to take shape way back in played a marvelous set of songs who are devout Smithanites, this Chronic" (a.k.a. Jay and Silent Retriever Weekly Senior Writer 1985 when vocalist and occasion­ predictably plucked mainly from anarchic final tribute to his Bob) to Miramax pictures, and al guitar player Christopher Hall their new album but also includ­ famous homegrown characters An entire generation of first met keyboardist Walter ing pieces from all their previous see SMITH, page 15 are sure to get you laughing. music, musicians and fans alike, Flakus in Chicago where they records. Hall, coming on stage in has been based solely on anguish, immediately began composing rock fashion and sporting an pain, emotional unrest and other music together. By the time the undershirt emblazoned with glit­ similar ailments of the soul. What duo had a demo tape worked out tery letters reading "Rock & Roll better way to connect with the in 1990, they were already well Trash," immediately displayed his masses than to commiserate? on their way to recruiting gui­ searing sugar-sweet vocal styling After all, everyone knows that tarist Stuart Zechman, bassist Jim overtop the pounding rock of the misery loves company - and Sellers and drummer David songs "Television" and "Perfect." that's exactly what Stabbing Suycott. Three years later, the This was a superb way to begin, Westward got last Tuesday night band released their first full seeing as how the rest of the at the Recher Theatre in Towson: length CD, the hard rock/industri­ evening was a showcase of the lots of company. From full­ al-influenced album Ungod, entire band putting on display fledged black-leather-clad Goth which was followed by Wither, quite the perfect show. From types to American Eagle frat boys Blister, Bum & Peel in 1996, newer songs, such as the most and their grooving girlfriends, Darkest Days in 1998 and most recent single "So Far Away," to everyone packed into the Recher recently a softer, but not soft, old classics like "What Do I Have to feel the pain that is Stabbing self-titled album in 2001. to Do?" and "Save Yourself," the Courtesy of Mirimax Films Westward. Which brings us back to the band shared their message of Snoochie Boochies: Jay and Silent Bob, that loveable duo from The band's frrst incarnation Recher Theatre, where the band Jersey, are back for their last film appearance. see SW, page 15