nyone who’s had the good fortune of experiencing Hell, any one of those would be enough for me to grin like an Alive, knows that frontman Eddie Spaghetti wears a black cowboy hat, idiot for years to come. But the more I think about it, the more I think Mr. Marlboro Man sunglasses and rockabilly sideburns. But the thing that Spaghetti’s shit-eating grin might be due to his own realization that he and sticks in your mind’s eye long after his bandmates are pulling off the the last power chord fades away is nearly impossible: they are living the that damn shit-eating grin that refus- overblown decadent cartoon lifestyle es to leave his face. He looks like the of big-time arena-rock rockstars AND alley cat that just ate a cage-full of they’re keeping their canaries. “cred.” But what the fuck is he And just how the hell do they do smirking about? it? It’s a good ol’ go-fuck-yourself atti- Is it the natural confidence tude connected to that same shit-eat- of someone who knows his order was ing grin that lets everyone know that “super-sized” when they were hand- the Supersuckers’ tongues are firmly ing out charisma? Or is it the swagger in cheek. of someone who’s recently flipped off However you choose to dissect it, the major label suckwads and started underneath it all Eddie Spaghetti’s his own record label and can now do INTERVIEW BY shit-eating grin simply means this: this pretty much whatever he damn well APHID PEEWIT fucker’s just having too damn much pleases? Or could it be the natural fun. result of all the various controlled Thank god it’s infectious. substances doing lap dances in his - Peewit brain and tickling the pubic hairs of his central nervous system? According to Supersucker legend, that his interview with Eddie Spaghetti would seem to be a likely explana- Tand Ron Heathman was conduct- tion. ed, with the kind assistance of Jamey Who knows, maybe it’s just from the Coffin Cheaters, after a recent the simple joy that comes with the show at the over-priced, butt-sucking pinch-me-I-must-be-dreaming realiza- 400 Bar. Thanks to all the above; but tion that you’re the big kahuna in the especially Eddie, who was willing to “greatest rock and roll band in the do an interview despite distractions world.” That would do it for me. from Mrs. & Baby Spaghetti. APHID: Whatever became of your first singer Eric Martin? EDDIE: Cuz I hate everybody. I don’t wanna be unfair. EDDIE: He died. APHID: I understand that. But he seems to be spitting in the same APHID: He died? Seriously? eye that you guys are--

EDDIE: Seriously. EDDIE: I would like to like him. Let’s put it that way. I wanna like him. APHID: Whoa - I was all ready to joke around about him. I never knew that. APHID: So what’s your hesitation?

EDDIE: Yeah, it sucks. EDDIE: Uh, I just think he’s trying too hard. I’m working on it though. It’s my problem. MRS. SPAGHETTI: (to Eddie) Can you watch the baby? I gotta go (gruff handler whisks Eddie away) pee. EDDIE: (shouting) I’ll be right back! EDDIE: Yeah...Anyway, he overdosed on drugs. The song “Marie” (Eddie does not return....) on our third record Sacrilicious is about all of that. (pause) So, first question: bummer! ENTER RONTROSE HEATHMAN - GUITAR GOD / GOOD GUY: DRUNKEN STRANGER: (to Eddie) I have to ask you a question. APHID: Well I was in the process of asking Eddie what he thought APHID: All right, what’s your question? of Hank 3 and then one of your hired goons dragged him away. So now I’ll ask you: what do you think of Hank 3? DRUNK STRANGER: I wanna know what Mrs. Spaghetti’s thing is...what the purpose is for that. Is that for your pleasure or....(trails RON: I don’t like what he does with the rock stuff, you know? off) (laughs) It’s probably how people feel when we do the country stuff. But some of the country stuff I’ve heard him do, I thought was really EDDIE: I’m not sure what he means but I think the answer is: fuck good. I’m curious to see him play. I’ve never seen him. We played a you. (laughter) show with him and he did like two songs and something broke and he got pissed off and left. So I never really got a chance to see him DRUNK STRANGER: Thank you. Thank you very much. (stum- properly. bles away) APHID: So you’ve done shows with him? APHID: He was doing some kind of rubbing thing there. RON: We just did one at South By Southwest. EDDIE: I know. I’m not sure what the answer is but I think it’s probably “fuck you.” APHID: What about the rock part don’t you like?

APHID: All right. Why did you drop the “black” from the “Black RON: I don’t know. It just seems a little bit contrived, to me. I don’t Supersuckers”? know. It doesn’t seem like him. I think he should write songs and sing. I mean, he’s got a good voice. We need good song writers. EDDIE: Because we’re really racist and we didn’t want anybody to know about it. APHID: Are you guys comfortable with the “Alt-Country” label?

JAMEY COFFIN: So do you guys score a lot of ass on the road? RON: The Y’all-ternative? (laughter)

EDDIE: Dude, you saw the front of the stage, what it was like there. APHID: Exactly. At least 9, maybe 10% pussy up front. (laughter) RON: Yeah. We get pegged with it when we do the country stuff. APHID: Have you ever leg wrestled Tad Doyle? They gotta call stuff something. Like Wilco and Son Volt and all that stuff. I think there’s a lot of good stuff that falls under that label. I EDDIE: No. But I have thumb wrestled him. And lost. think Ryan Adams is kinda over-rated, but I think he’s good. I think that Rhett Miller guy is really great. It’s like “country” is a bad APHID: His thumbs must be like the size of oranges. word. Cuz what they call “Real Country” these days is garbage. So I guess “Alt Country” implies something good. (pause) EDDIE: They’re big, but they’re quicker than you would think, as being the best. well. APHID: How do you handle it when you guys get tagged with the APHID: What do you think of Hank III? “sellout” label?

EDDIE: I wish I knew more about him. I want to like him. But...my RON: What do you mean? first inclination is to hate everybody. And he falls into that category. APHID: Well, the fact that you guys were on a Mt. Dew commer- APHID: Really. Why would you hate him? cial and on the Vans Warped Tour - obviously, some of the punk crowd doesn’t like those kind of corporate affiliations-- didn’t actually do with them in the studio. Steve Earle couldn’t be more fun to record with. I’d love to record with him on a daily basis. RON: We don’t ever get the sellout thing - ever. I mean, we started He likes to make shit up on the spot. So they’re all positive experi- our own record label. We refused to be put on a major label. We ences, really. I’d love to talk shit. I love talking shit. turned them down. APHID: How ‘bout ? Is APHID: But you never run into that he an asshole? accusation? “I think RON: He’s like one of the nicest guys RON: If I do, I just like....uh, I people that yell you’ll ever meet in your life. Swear to don’t even know what that means, god. Smart as a whip. Great taste in to be honest with you. I don’t even ‘sellout’ music. Lotta fun to hang out with. care. are the people He’s a sweetheart. APHID: I’m not entirely sure what that have never APHID: How ‘bout Capt. Sensible? it means either, I guess that’s why I’m asking. had the RON: There you go! Pain in the ass! opportunity to (laughter) RON: Yeah. It rarely happens with us, you know? I’m sure Green Day sellout.” APHID: Obviously, I know the song gets it, but what do they give a fly- [“The Captain” off the Must’ve Been ing fuck? Good for them. I think High album] - but is there any more people that yell “sellout” are the people that have never had the to the story? opportunity to sell out. And if they were given that opportunity, most of those people yelling that, would sell out. (laughter) RON: The song pretty much tells it in no uncertain terms, really. Some guy hooked us up to play a gig with him, to record with him. APHID: Is Rick Sims as full of himself as he seems? And when we went to record with him, he didn’t want to do it.

RON: (laughs) I get along with Rick really good. Rick’s a real good APHID: Why? friend of mine. RON: Well, he wanted to put keyboards on everything and we did- APHID: How did that work out exactly that he wound up playing on n’t want him to. Like synthesizers. And we wanted piano, so he got Sacrilicious? pissy. He was a pain in the ass. He was really drunk.

RON: I had to take a break, more or less. I got in trouble with the APHID: Have you had any contact with him since? law. RON: Yeah. We played a show with the Damned not too long ago APHID: Anything you can go into? and he came up to us and he’s heard the song and he’s like “I didn’t know you guys were a proper band!” We’re like, “Fuck, we didn’t RON: Ah, just drugs. Boring stuff, really. I mean sure, I could go know we had to tell you, you fucking dick.” Whatever. I was never a into all the gory details but it’s the same old story and I don’t want big Damned fan so it doesn’t fucking faze me whatsoever. I was way to glamorize that stuff. It’s nothing that probably a steel worker did- more into Motorhead. n’t run into today, too. Musicians always get this tag, you know? There are plenty of people that have been fucked up. But yeah, Rick APHID: You just put out that split CD with just helped out. But I get along with him really well. I’m sure some not too long ago. What do you think of them? people can think him unbearable, but I don’t. RON: They’re cool. But we didn’t work with them. They did their APHID: So he was just filling in or was he actually a new member part and we did our part. All separate. of the band at that point? APHID: I did an interview with the Hookers a few years ago and RON: I dunno how that worked. I guess he was a member for a they did a split album with Electric Frankenstein and they kept talk- while. Because who knows what I was up to. I was messed up at the ing about how much they hated those guys. time. So these guys couldn’t count on me. But it just didn’t work out with Rick so when they got back a hold of me, I was doing better. RON: They might be a pain in the ass, too. But I don’t know. We never even saw them. Just phone calls - we’ll get our stuff done, you APHID: You guys have done projects with a lot of different people. get your stuff done, we’ll send the tapes, blah, blah, blah. (laughs) Of all of them, who was the biggest pain in the ass? Marky Like I said, I wish I had more shit to talk, but pretty much everyone Felchtone, Steve Earle, ? we’ve worked with has been right on the money. I think we were more of the pain in the ass. (laughs) RON: None of them. None of ‘em have been a pain in the ass. None. Marky walked in and plugged my guitar in and fucking did a JAMEY: What’s the dirtiest thing a backstage slut’s ever done? solo and left. Couldn’t have been less of a pain in the ass. He’s fuck- ing brilliant. The guy is a rock’n’roll genius. Eddie Vedder couldn’t RON: Oh god. Uh....All right. Here: I got a blowjob while smoking have been nicer. Great ping-pong player, terrible bowler. (laughs) crack in Gibby Haynes garage. There. (laughs as he walks Couldn’t have been a nicer guy. The Rev (Horton Heat) thing we away) It was pretty good! (laughs) It was a long time ago!