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People show their culture at the Turret last Sunday. Pic: Emma Levez JELENA MIHAJLOVIC festival last year to "foster cultural eluded traditional dance perform­ were sent out to as many as groups As a confirmation of the festi­ Corel News co-operation, awareness and un­ ances from a variety of ethnic as possible that were listed in the val's success, there were approxi­ Wilfrid Laurier's Second Annual derstanding of the various ethnic groups, as well as an opening K-W guide." As a result, "all those mately 150-200 people participat­ Multicultural Festival held this past communities within Canada." This speech by acting mayor of Water­ who accepted were brought in to ing throughout the day, bringing Sunday in the Turret was "even coincides nicely with the current loo, Rob Brown. perform." much recognition to the AIESEC better than last year's festival," theme of the international organi­ When asked to comment on Aside from the dancing per­ organization here at Laurier. One said AIESEC representative Tisha zation, which is Education toward the way in which the dance groups formances, participants were future event to watch for happens Weher. International and Cultural Under­ were chosen (for example, the Af­ treated to colourful exhibits from in Octohcr where Laurier will be The Laurier chapter of standing. rican nations were not represented), each country displaying artifacts hosting the Ontario regional con­ AIESEC established the annual The schedule of events in- Tisha Weber replied that "invites and tasty ethnic dishes. ference. Student Services lllay be moving to 202 Regina next year

MARK HEASLEY It's a long-range plan that looks at the space increased future enrolment" that is worry­ Implicit in the report is that with Stu­ Corel News needs of the university over the next 20 ing many students. dent Services off-campus, students will be "After the meeting we were talking with years" Mark Kozniki is one such student. "A less likely to avail themselves of these serv­ some of the faculty, they said that this was Part of this plan arc assumptions of lot of what Baker's talking ahout is vision," ices hy saying "services that arc more dis­ typical of the Administration" explained growth in the student body. The Campus Koznicki states, "but he hasn't looked at cretionary like Career Services, Chaplin's Laurier student and WLU Senator Pruyn Plan provided a framework that saw enrol­ how these services are used. In Career Office, Counselling Services may suffer Haskins. "When Don Baker mentioned ment grow from the current 7700 full-time Services people just walk in and look at the from a less visihle or convenient location." moving all these student services to 202 students to 12 000 in fifteen years. The job lists, central location is all that keeping "The three most important things in Regina St. I was surprised, I hadn't been guiding principals for making decisions on it going." husincss arc location. location, location" asked anything about it and neither had any space allocation says that "Student Services To prove his point, Koznicki produced said Students' Union President Scan Taylor of the other student Senators". should be consolidated as much as possi­ the results of a survey of 172 Laurier stu­ when questioned on his position on the This time next year, many of Laurier's ble". dents conducted by Dale Fogle, Director of move. "I understand the long-term Campus Student Services will be moved off of the It is this goal of creating a "one-stop Counselling Services that stated "student Plan, but Administration arc getting ahead main campus to 202 Regina St., an office shopping centre for Student Services" along preference is distinctly most positive ... with of themselves hy changing student traffic building owned by WLU. Why are these with another goal of "freeing up space on services together, central, and close to the like this. I have two key questions: will the services being moved? WLU VP Academic campus so that the university's main pur­ Student Union ... (with student approval) fall­ new space meet the requirements of the Don Baker replied that "two years ago the pose (academics) is allotted more space in ing off with each successive option (further students, and how can we afford this?" Campus Development Plan was brought in. the core of the campus in preparation of away from the Student Union)." Continued on page 5 4 'NEWS THE CORD Thursday, March 10, 1994 Evaluations have a value AMANJA DOWLING it comes to considering professors and Western have been extremely that this decline in applications partments to be carried forward Cord News for tenure. successful, but given Laurier's may be due in part to potential from year to year. The carry over Yet another spellbinding Senate "I do want to underline the smaller size, there is some ques­ students being discouraged by high for surpluses has been limited to a meeting filled the Paul Martin importance of those forms being tion as to whether similar success cut-off rates. Cut-off rates for ad­ maximum of 5%. This new policy Center at 7:00 p.m. last Thursday filled out. Some students choose could be expected. mission to Laurier have continued will put an end to the unofficial night with the University's top to boycott the forms. In doing so, It was noted that applications to climb this year. department practice of frivolously hrass. they may be hindering the fair for admission to Laurier are down Finally, the Senate passed a spending excess budgeted money Vice President: Academic, evaluation of a faculty member." by 15% for the fall of 1994, to motion proposed by the Finance at the end of the year. Donald Baker addressed the sub­ said Baker. approximately 6 260. Applications Committee to allow budget sur­ The next Senate meeting ject of the infamous teacher evalu­ A major development cam­ have been decreasing since a high plus and deficit balances for Gradu­ will be held Wednesday, April 6, ation forms. Recently, students paign is in its infancy at Laurier. of 11 000 in 1988. It is suspected ate Faculty and non-academic de- 1994. have raised some concern over the Mr. Arthur Stephens from Institu­ usefulness of the forms. This con­ tional Relations at WLU presented cern had led some students to boy­ a host of information to the Senate Gonick stays for three more years cott them altogether. detailing how a large-scale fund Dr. Baker stressed that the raising campaign could be run. LORI DODMAN "I think that there are lots of very good people forms do in fact play an important Fund raising efforts would be tar­ Cord News here, and the students here really mean a lot to me" role in helping the administration geted at alumni, and members of Many concerned political science students breathed a said Gonick. Evidently Gonick is very important to to review faculty performance. the business community. sigh of relief on February 15 when Dr. Lev Gonick's many of the students as well. Numerous letters written They are especially important when Similar campaigns at Queen's work contract was renewed at Wilfrid Laurier Uni­ by students, as well as a petition, were addressed to the versity. Dean of Arts and Science protesting the non-renewal On January 5 Gonick was informed that the of Gonick's contract. tenured political science professors had voted to not When asked why so many students wanted the renew his contract. contract renewed, Gonick replied that, "There is an The decision to renew Gonick's contract then appreciation among some that I give 110 percent in passed through various levels of the Laurier adminis­ my classes." tration until, in early February, the Dean of Arts and Gonick's work for students goes beyond of the Science, Art Read, opted to reverse the decision. classroom. In the past he has taken students to confer­ Gonick is now employed under a three year ences in Washington DC and Harvard University. Candidacy Contract, and is planning to apply for This year he is planning to take a group of students to tenure sometime during the coming three years. Al­ Zimbabwe both to work and to study. though Gonick is not aware of why the other political Gonick considers events such as these to be extra­ science professors voted not to renew his contract, he curricular only in the sense that they occur outside of does have hope that any strained relations within the the classroom. He feels that the things learned at these department will get better. events are merely an extension of the class lectures. Even though Gonick has heen offered jobs at half Under the recommendation of Read, Gonick will a dozen Canadian and American universities in the be reviewing the content of his courses to determine past year and a half, he has chosen to stay and teach whether or not the work load is too heavy. However, at Laurier. The professor said that he appreciates the Gonick said it is more than likely that he will continue sense of collegiality on campus, and has respect for a to teach his classes and actively participate in Laurier lorma Marsden, David Vaughan and Don Baker at an earlier lot of individuals at the school. events in the future, just as he always has. meeting...... File • J~g~ PHOTOGRAPHERS 3 bedroom Bungalow An easy drive to the University $137,000

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IIIIIIIIHIIIIIIIIIIII Office ii (519) 886-9000 THE CORD Thursday, March 10, 1994 NEWS 5 Fascist legacy in Canada LAWRENCE HAMMOND cism in Canada were the Fascists. of the Wciscnthall Institution in clearly racist Canadian Supreme Core/ News The panel of academics spent New York was the only speaker to Court decisions in the I 930's and It's Friday morning and every seat the day defining and condemning mention revisionism, but his speech 40's and the subsequent repercus­ in the Paul Martin Centre (PM C) is fascism and telling how bad the was a politically correct attack on sions in to the 50's. filled with a wide cross section of situation is in Ontario. Sol Littman how revisionists wrongly portray • Professor Rhoda Howard said the community. They all listen in­ themselves as legitimate academ­ of the freedom of expression: "The tently to academics discuss fas­ ics. There was very little, if any, solution to bad speech is good cism and racism in Canada and the antagonism as everyone agreed. speech" world. lwona lrwin-Zarecka, of the • Professor Lyons asked dur­ Some nod their heads enthusi­ Interdisciplinary Research Com­ ing the question period why the astically, others shake their heads mittee (IRC), and organizer of the Reform Party of Canada was not in frustration and opposition. symposium is pleased with the mentioned by any speakers, but got Many in the audience are of day's events. no response. visible minorities who have been "There arc very few people in • Professor Eglin, during ques­ the victims of racism. Others arc academia who deal with issues that tion period, stressed that an eouca­ from the local Germanic commu­ are tough. It (the symposium] tional emphasis should be put on nity. whose heritage is attacked raised the level of awareness and genocidal issues that we, as Cana­ continuously throughout the sym­ exposed students to what they could ... examing fascism. dians, arc associated with and can posium. do if they pursue studies." Pic: Lawrence Hammond influence, such as East Timor. Outside the PMC. representa­ As almost all the speakers ex­ eluded: Although the PMC was filled tives of the K-WandTorontoanti­ ceeded their time limits, there was • WLU's John Redckop's dis­ almost to capacity in the morning, racist groups hand out pamphlets no time for questions in the morn­ cussion on the appeal of German the crowd thinned out drastically and photocopied articles. In fact, ing session and little time after the Nationalism to the Canadian Ger­ during the afternoon session, leav­ the only group not openly repre­ Exploring afternoon session. man press in the pre-WWII period. ing only a few die-hard academics sented at the Symposium on Fas- Pic: Lawrence Hammond Highlights of the speeches in- • UW'sJames Walker exposed and students. Decision affects staff also Continued from page 3 money, designed to address a vari­ the move. Were students ever con­ ever, focused on the potential for SERVICES BEING To answer the first question, ety of student concerns such as sulted on the move? Student Services to deteriorate YP Don Baker replied that "the safety, security, and physical plan­ "Students were on the Senate from students being detcrrco by MOVED TO new space will be purpose-built, ning is only a potential source how­ when the long-range plan that we the distance and time involved in 202 REGINA specifically designed for the de­ ever. Baker stated that "it's the are following was designed. The walking to 202 Regina. To head · Accounting partment that will be in it." In the Chief Financial Officer's problem Students' Union President was part off this prospect, there is already in Payroll case of Student Awards, Taylor were to find the money ... but money of the group that discussed the place plans to make many of the Business Office had expressed concern for confi­ has been set aside." principals of the plan, and these services being moved open to com­ Physical Plant and dentiality. "I'm worried that they Another problem regarding the spell out the moving of certain puter-interaction with students. For Planning Admin. (Administration) might go with 202 Regina move is the "arbitrary services to 202 Regina," Baker example, registering over the tel­ Registar's Office the open office concept. There are way that the move was decided, stated. "We didn't put out a ques­ ephone, checking on OSAP appli­ · Admissions Office things like personal finances dis­ there was no student input" as tionnaire to consult the students cation status via computer, bulle­ • Student Awards cussed in Student Awards that you voiced by Co-op Students Advi­ regarding the move. Student input tin boards for jobs, and depositing (OSAP Office) might not want everyone to hear." sory Committee (CSAC) member was already provided when the cheques from the Payroll Office · Human Resources As to how the university will Mike Lichti. "The decision was plan was created. In academia directing into your bank account. · Continuing Education afford the 202 Regina move, Baker made by top administration with when you don't like the result, you These opportunities however · Co-op Offices mentioned the $1.59 million infra­ no student input, even the Student blame the process. It's standard are not enough to stop groups such · Career Services structure grant handed down to Service's departments themselves operating procedure" as the Co-op Students Advisory · High School Liaison Laurier from the Canada-Ontario didn't get to state their feelings on Another facet to the 202 Committee or individuals like Infrastructure Program. This the move until after the fact- their Regina move is the staff aspect. Mark Koznicki from attempting to concerns wouldn't be taken 'seri­ With all of the various Services organise petitions to stop the move. ously"'. each with their own reception staff, These petitions will be given to CSAC sent out letters to some the Student Services department WLUSU President Scan Taylor to Beside UalW M 170 Urwersity Ave of their members with the letter­ will be "economising" in VP Bak­ present to Laurier's Board of Gov­ Watet1oo head "Once again, students arc the er's words. "80% of our (WLU's) ernor's-the next bureaucratic body last to know - Why is it that budget goes to staff anc profes­ that will hear details regarding the Over 300 Stuffed Animals Laurier's Vision of the Future sors. We have to make responsible 202 Regina move. Corsaqes & Boutonniers docsn 't include student input?", as choices here. A lot of people would Whether or not these petitions Graduation Gifts • Balloons part of an awareness campaign like to think that economics aren't will be effective is still in question. Flower Bouquets for your Hosts designed to inform students of the necessary, but reality says other­ When asked on whether or not the EXPRESS YOURSELF potential downside of the move- a wise. We're going to streamline move was already finalised, Baker with our RtH:ycl«< C.rd• deterioration of these Student Serv­ the administration." simply said "As far as I'm aware, ices due to the distance aspect of The concern remains how- it is."

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' ~~ "i 6 NEWS THE CORD Thursday, March 10, 1994 - What are we doing here? the government has been forced to making university governing bod­ cess to the wisdom of the ages, goals. Students arc more focussed justify its need for public money, ies representative of the various both through books and through on getting drunk and participating "I and universities are no different. contributors to universities, creat­ the experience of professors. Stu­ in mating rituals, and study only as This has given rise to many issues ing clearer descriptions of the goals dents should have the time and the much as necessary to get to grad related to the function of universi­ of universities, and organizing an environment necessary to find their school or to get a good job. Most ties. external body to monitor the own opinions on various subjects, professors ramble on in the same University autonomy is held progress of universities. and to make their contribution to lectures and the same perspectives Cord News Commentary as sacred in principle, although the Last fall, the government asked the body of human knowledge. they have lived with for years. The As centres of higher learning, uni­ actual extent of it is up for interpre­ the Ontario Council of University This goal puts the focus of administration does its best to hoard versities set the intellectual and tation. It is necessary for universi­ Affairs (OCUA) to review the fund­ universities on the student, and can more money and to avoid the dis­ moral standards of society. ties to remain free from the govern­ ing formula for Ontario universi­ only succeed with the participation comfort of telling someone they Or at least they could. Or ment and other external forces such ties. They will attempt to discern of the individual students. Passive are fired. maybe they should. Or maybe we that they can develop and present how much money individual insti­ learning is not learning at all. Ideal U n iversitics have the potential should just resign ourselves to ac­ new and potentially controversial tutions need. students, then, are eager to learn to exert tangible and positive influ­ to cepting the lock that television ideas without fear of losing the Throughout all of the studies through reading on the topics that ence upon society and upon the life seems to have on the performance necessary funding. and the reports, students have been interest them, through listening to of the individual. They accomplish of that function. On the other hand, the univer­ consulted minimally. Universities the lectures from teachers, by pre­ nothing, however, unless people My point is that universities sities must be able to justify their arc rated on class sizes and per­ senting and discussing their own take advantage of these opportuni­ should have a noticeable influence use of the money, to prove that it is centage of tenured staff. I guess the theories, and by engaging in intel­ ties. You can choose to reach for upon society, through the innova­ not being wasted. They must pro­ role of the university in society is lectual conversations with other the goals ahead of you, or you can tive products of research and vide output relative to the amount to arrange stable contracts with members of the university commu­ wallow in beer. You can share your through the training and guidance they receive. academics. nity. Above all else, they must have ideas with others, or you can hide of students. University graduates Last year, the Ontario govern­ Universities should provide the ability to think. Or at least in self-doubt. You arc forced to should be more socially responsi­ ment's Task Force on University individuals with the opportunity to that's the ideal. live with the results ofyourchoices, ble and better able to play leading Accountability released its final develop themselves in preparation When you actually look around no matter what. roles in the community, priests to report. The suggestions made to for a career and an active role in at the university, it seems that most The life you save may be your the post-modern god of Progress. improve accountability focussed on society. Students should have ac- people have strayed from these own. On the other hand, there seems to be a resurgence in our society of the view of university-affiliated people as self-righteous, greedy, r.BOOXS T-SJfiRTS ].J\.CXTTS TOILTT'RITS r.B.J\.R<;i:AINS cloistered, sterile over-achievers. Until we go out drinking, and then we arc showing that we can con­ ~ nect to the Common Man. How­ tj ever, it would be absurd to judge the role and value of universities C) around such a narrow-minded,jcal­ BARGAINS GAIDRE ous attitude. VJ Since John Crow had the balls to utter the word "Recession," every institution receiving funding from AT 1HE ANNUAL ~ BOOKSIDRE AND PURPlE & GOlD R ~ ~ SP'RIN§ VJ SI1JTWMX ·SMT ba ~t.,:j ~ MARCH 14, 15, 16 ~ ~ 9:30 AM. 3:00 P.M. ~ ~ VJ DON'T MISS IT! ~ ?a ~ ~ ~ In the Concourse ~

~ All Sales Final t\Q ~ t.,:j ~ ~ r.BOOXS SWT.J\.TS 1Ut'DIO SJf.J\.CX ITTMS TOILTT'RJTS THE CORD Thursday, March ·10, 1994 NEWS 7 Religious pipe dreams MARK HEASLEY and pants. do? "As a minister, if you need tion. "Plead 'Not Guilty!'. You more from the Church of the Urn­ Cord News But the uses were not limited to someone to listen or understand cannot technically be tried in fed- verse in the near future. It has been "It's the incense God and I have these alone. By smoking marijuana, then I'm there for thcm ... we don't eral criminal court for violating deeded thirteen acres of land in decided is best." Brother Walter of Brother Walter claimed that health push our beliefs down anybody's the Narcotics Control Act - it's Guelph, and is looking to clean it the Church oft he Universe came to conditions such as glaucoma and throat. The best that I can do is to the jurisdiction of the Department up and start growing hemp in the Laurier's campus with this mes­ asthma can be cleared up. Usc as tell everyone the truth that I know of Health." new community it is planning - sage and more. pain relief for people with chronic about this plant." Waterloo may be hearing "Hcmpirc Village". Brought to WLU by the Reli­ pain or during childbirth were also Part of Brother Walter's truth gion and Culture Club, this found­ mentioned. All of these uses and is that marijuana has no narcotic Biz students protest ling faith holds as its central belief more were put forward by an ac­ properties. Rather, it has healing that cannabis - the plant that hemp credited doctor in a brochure handed powers and has never been proven ANDREW "IRV" HOPPER tions like 'What is the role of the and marijuana is derived from - is out during the presentation. to be fatal like other inocuous medi­ Cord News cabinet' or 'What do bureaucrats the 'Tree of Life" as described in Brother Walter did not stop cines like aspirin. Fourth year business students do for the government"', Coordi­ the Bible. "The Tree of Life is said there though. An informal sermon The Church of the Universe is are petitioning course changes and nator and Professor Mark Baetz to provide for all of man's needs, on the basic tenets of the Church of not unaware of the potential arc getting their voices heard. stated. "There needs to be more well, so docs this plant. Food, shel­ the Universe followed. "There are downside that accompanies the usc Business professors have re­ emphasis on these issues for stu­ ter, and clothing can all be made only two rules that you have to of the "tree of life"- the possibility ceived various complaints from dents to understand the cases pre­ from it" Brother Walter continues. follow," he said. "Don't hurt your­ of arrest for possession or traffick­ students during the past month sented." While handing out hemp seeds self, and don't hurt others." ing illegal narcotics. To this, regardingoncofthc Policy courses Baetz said, "Approximately (which contain no THC, the active And what docs a minister in Brother Walter and the Church have at the SBE. twenty-five to thirty percent of the ingredient in marijuana) the nutri­ one of the Marijuana Missionaries offered a seemingly simple solu- A group of students headed course was used for political cases tional values of cannabis were by Torno Matcsic have organised and the other part of the course was expounded. a petition to appeal a substantial used for other subjects in the course Hemp muffins, milkshakcs, course change to the Business 491 outline." and a gruel made out of the seeds policy course and are getting their However, when Matesic was all fulfilled certain daily nutritional voices noticed by other faculty questioned about the course con­ requirements. members. tent, he said that much of the "One acre of hemp can take Professor Miles and Profes­ course so far has been used to study the place of four acres of trees. sor Harling, who also teach the the government role of changing Pressed hemp is as strong as steel, course, agree something has to be the business environment and noth­ and only half as heavy." said done to change the current course. ing else. Brother Walter as he extolled the This course has been utilized Baetz also confirmed, "We virtues of hemp as a building ma­ in the past to analyze the political, need to change the course because terial. The case of a man in the social, economic and technologi­ there arc constant changes happen­ United States making a house en­ cal changes to the business envi­ ing in the business environment. It tirely out of hemp was mentioned ronment. Students arc arguing that is our job to keep up to date with in passing. more time isspentonjust political these changes." Nevertheless, Practicing what they preached, cases and not enough time is be­ Baetz stated it is very difficult to Brother Walter and Michael were ing used for other topics. change a course. It takes constant dressed in clothes made entirely "Students arc coming into revi sions. from hemp - hats. shirts, jackets. He's got the whole world in his pipe. Pic: Mark Heasley my office and asking various qucs- Students have been opposed to these changes and have pro­ vided negative feedback about the course. With this feedback from the Waterloo students, Matesic said. "The course outline is being changed with a proposed change already drafted. Mark Baetx has addressed all of '1,1\XI ~ our concerns and on first glance eI I I I theoutl inc appears to be completely 886-1200 in the students favour." I The drafted proposal has ad­ anywhere anytime - for people or parcels dressed a new textbook, current airport service - fast courteous service issues and political, economical, social and technological factors. I . 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For Information Humber Systems you also need basic computer literacy. e@QX]~ Call (416) 675-5000. or 1-800-268-4867, for information Delivering World Class Business Education 8 NEWS THE CORD Thursday, March 10, 1994

Straight from the office of John in a minor physical altercation. Baal, Laurier's Chief ofSecurity No further action is planned. Feb. 28 - 09:00 : Theft March 4 - 22:50 : Unauthor­ Second Cup personnel reported ized Entry that a box of paper cups was A student who had gained entry missing from their storage area into the Turret under the pretext in the Concourse. Two suspects, of wanting to locate a friend to one of whom was carrying a box deliver an emergency message of similar dimensions, were ob­ was observed drinking beer and served leaving the Arts Building chatting at a table. Subject was at 23:00, Saturday Feb. 26. The evicted and advised that her be­ officer approached them and haviour will be reported to the asked to see the contents of the DAC. box. The male carrying the box March 5 - 00:50 : Disorderly shouted "Mind your own busi­ Conduct ness" and bolted from the scene. A rowdy pub patron was evicted The identity of the suspects has from the Turret. The subject was VIRGINIA PARKER Pic: Virginia Parker since been established as Laurier heavily inebriated and no other Cord News Commentary students. Their caper will be re­ action will be taken. The Student Publications' Board of Directors meeting this past Monday was shorter than a bad trend. Besides ported to the DAC. March 6- 01:00: Mischief presenting the reports from the various committees that they arc each a part of, the Directors discussed Feb. 28 - 14:30 : Assault A male was observed kicking fundraising, the current computer changeover and the upcoming WLUSU referendum on March 29. At this time a Laurier student two light standards ncar Alumni reported that while walking in Hall. When the lights went out the vicinity of King and James St. the culprit bolted away. After a Live and Leant in the global village in Waterloo, on or about Oct. 28, short chase he was apprehended JULIE ClARKE and Learning Residences" have of both faculty and students will be 93, she was approached by an and held by student security. The PETROUlA KYRIACOU been successful in the United established to make policy and unsavory looking male who spat subject was identified as a UW AND SARI MORRISON States, some being in existence for hiring decisions. on her chest area. Victim stated student. He offered to pay for the Cord News as long as twenty years. Although some preliminary that reading recently in the Cord damage and was released after "In an increasingly global world, A "Living and Learning Cen­ work has been accomplished in about a similar occurrence being issued a trespass notice. success means assisting [students] tre" will make Laurier a more dis­ bringing about a Living and Learn­ prompted her to report the inci­ March 6 - 10:00 : Suspicious to be 'globally literate' and sensi­ tinct and notable institution by ing Centre at Laurier, support ex­ dent at this late date. A report Activity tive to and appreciative of 'diver­ offering unique learning opportu­ pressed by students and faculty containing a good description and Security received a call report­ sity' in our University, communi­ nities. The centre will enhance the would help ensure approval of this possible locale of the suspect was ing that two males were observed ty, and nation." This quote ap­ resources and employment oppor­ proposal. An information meeting forwarded to Regional Police. leaving the Peters Building car­ peared in a recent document re­ tunities currently available on cam­ will be held on Thursday, March Feb. 28 - 16:30 : First Aid rying a computer which they garding Laurier's Long-Range pus. For those living and working 17 in Pl003 at 5:30p.m. For more A WLU student was transported placed in a red van parked in Lot Goals. in the centre, it will provide an information, contact Petroula at to the K/W Hospital to remove a #12. Van's ownership has since This objective could be at­ original experience that integrates 747-1204. chemical substance from her eyes. been established and the matter tained through the establishment education and employment with Julie Clarke, Petroula Kyriacou, The injury, sustained during a lab is under investigation. of a "Living and Learning Centre" cultural learning. The ncwsgroup and Sari Morrison are involved in project, was not serious. All WLU students caught in crim­ at Laurier. Such a centre would will help to extend communica­ estabhshing the Livmg and Learn­ March 4 : Breach of Peace inal activities must face Fred further Laurier's goals of making tions from the campus to the com­ ing Centre at Laurier. The project Two WLU students were evicted Nichols and the Dean's Adviso­ students globally literate by sup­ munity to the nation and the world. was originally started by students from the Turret for being involved ry Council plying a library of materials on The proposed Centre will be in spring of 1993. international affairs, third-world student run, with faculty and ad­ development, environmental is­ ministrators acting as advisors. A sues, and other materials not eas­ handful of students, both Canadi­ ily found at Laurier. an and international exchange stu­ By now, you've probably realized The centre will also house dents, would live in the centre as there's more to life than school. internet facilities and meeting caretakers. space. Plans for a newsgroup have Several student volunteers will And that a job is only as good as hecn discussed and could be im­ also be needed to help with the plemented once the internet sys­ day-to-day operations of the cen­ the career it builds. We can help. tem is in place. Similar ''Living tre. A voluntary board comprised \Ve can give you the skills and financial knowledge to become Turn your education an accounting professional: a into a Profession Certified General Accountant. Our CGA program of studies with Humber's can lead to better opportunities Human Resource in business, government and Management program public practice. If you're ready to make even more of yourself, for University Graduates call (416) 322-6520, extensions Improve your opportunities for ir.teresting and reward­ 228, 225 or 217, or toll free ing employment by joining Humber's Human Resource Management program. 1-800-668-1454, or write to us • Program is only one year in length. at NO Eglinton Avenue East, (starting September) • You will receive practical experience in a Toronto i\14P 1K8. workplace field practice. • You must have a University Degree or a College Diploma to qualify. • Successful completion will lead to professional designation (CHRP) We're accounting for from the Human Resources Profession­ the future in Ontario als Association of Ontario (HRPAO). call (416) 675-5000 today .,.,_. Certifi~d. General Ac~ountants ~"'lll~~lliii-~~ii-iMJj••.~, Assoctatton of Ontano Pigskin clinic for credit MELANIE SEAL instructors have such great moti­ Cord Sports vational skills," he said. After a Sixty students from Waterloo nutritious lunch, the guys got to County high schools participated show their stuff in drills. in a football clinic held in the Ath­ Looking around at the stu­ letic Complex. These students, dents as they listened to such from grades ten, eleven, and twelve coaches as Kenji Konno and Pete listened to volunteers lecture in the Gisborn, it was obvious how intent morning, and went through vari­ they were on impressing the ous drills in the afternoon. Hawks. After being dragged away This clinic was organized by from a scrimmage, Shawn Ardt, a six enthusiastic guys for a percent­ grade twelve student from the Pres­ age of their final phys. ed mark. ton High Panthers told me that Brad Bender, Rob Kelly, Jamie compared to Laurier's past clinics, Brophy, Chad Donnelly, Jason "it is much better, more Gundy, and Brian Stevens started organized ... there are great volun­ organizing this event about six to teers, and I am learning a lot of eight weeks ago. Funding was new skills." He also told me that it given to the clinic from Pizza Pizza, was too bad that he could not come Purple and Gold, McPhail's and back next year. OUAA regula­ Good Life. Each student had to tions state that no grade thirteens pay a nominal fcc to participate in arc permitted to come to such clin­ the clinic, and after the organizers ics, as they violate recruitment had paid the costs, the left over regulations. profits go to a library fund. It A few of the volunteers be­ seemed odd to me that left over came a little concerned when the Go to the WLU football Clinic and learn to play like the big boys. File Pic money should be donated to the scrimmage started. The boys were full day teaching kids the tricks of were Dave Sguigna and Paul or joke around with each other, it library when it was the football trying so hard to use the skills they their trade. Most of the fundamen­ Stoppenbrink; line backers were was obvious they were having the team that had volunteered an en­ had learned that they forgot about tals they emphasized ensured the Mike Cheevers and Shawn Crisp; time of their life. tire day out of their time to coach the avoidance of injury. Coaches individual safety of the players, running back coaches were Bria ·.1 At the end of the day, a pair of the high school teens. Just a were constantly shouting, "you and more effective techniques. Niemy and Peter Hwang; Oakley sunglasses and two mem­ thought, but wouldn't it make more don't have to hit so hard, let's be Dave "Squiggy" told me that he quarterback coaches were Bill berships to Good Life were given sense to donate it to the football more scnsible... we're not out here wants to be a coach, and he volun­ Kubas and Kevin McDonald; and out. If this clinic was any indica­ team, or their equipment or some­ for blood." Rob Kelly told me teered because, "it helps me get a defensive back coaches were Ryan tion of the OUAA footballers of thing? how enthusiastic the students were, feel for working with kids, coach­ Owens and Kenji Konno. Though the future, we will have just as All that aside, I wondered what "it almost seems like they're try­ ing, it lets one know what coach­ the high schoolers treated the foot­ equally a determined and intense high school kids would think of ing out for a tcam ... thcy're so at­ ing may be like." Truly it was ball players for the most part like league. spending their Sunday morning in tentive, and ask so many ques­ because of the volunteers that the demi-gods, the Hawks were mostly This clinic wasn't just a bunch a classroom. About two hours tions." A lot of the students are students were so motivated to prove concerned with the safety of the of guys getting together to pass were spent in lectures about drugs, competing against each other in themselves. Working through fun­ kids. around the pigskin. It was Hawks nutrition, and weight training. Brad other sports such as basketball, damentals, integrated play, and Not one minute was spent being given the respect and atten­ Bender told me that the kids were and it was great that they could group techniques, they coached the standing around. The students were tion they deserve as they pass on very attentive, listened very well, work together as a team in the guys for the scrimmage. constantly busy, as every minute their knowledge to the athletes of and were most interested in weight clinic. Coaching the offensive line was carefully planned out. Sweat the future. There are some pretty training. "They (the high school The volunteers have to be were Pete Gisborn and Craig poured out their helmets, and intense fledglings trying to get into students) were really into it. The given a ton of credit. They spent a Snelgrove; on the defensive line though none would break a smile the Hawk's nest. men in sport-: referees CATHERINE MANHERZ coaches compared to the number of women good people skills" is what really makes a for the past thirty years. Hall was part of a Canadian University Press athletes, we realize that women arc still good coach. team that studied "The Gender Structure of TORONTO severely under-represented in the coaching What also makes a good coach is having National Sport Organizations", a project Chris Harron entered the classroom and ranks. the time to dedicate to the craft. funded by Sport Canada. waited for the instructor. It was the first day Some say there are few women entering "Coaching is extremely demanding, and In the study, Hall found that barriers to of a week-long certification program for the coaching profession because many of it's extremely time-consuming and emotion­ women' s participation (at any level) in sport hockey coaches. Scanning the room, she them aren't accepted as strong leaders. The ally draining. We're starting to get more arc "more firmly entrenched and much more realized she was different from everyone irony is that women who have become suc­ women in coaching but keeping them is difficult to address" than they first appear. else. She was the only woman in the class of cessful as coaches have usually done so by really difficult," Shields said. The study identified four major barriers 60. leading their teams to national champion­ "We lose a lot of good young women to women entering coaching: Harron, head coach of the York ships. Take Cathy Shields, for instance. because it's such a hard juggle with family *The powerful, informal networks Yeowomen hockey team, is the only woman Shields was previously the head coach life. The majority of men don't have the among men; to have graduated from the National Coach­ for the University of Victoria basketball ultimate [family] rcsponsibil ity ... that women *The lack of female role models, as well ing Certificate Program during the last three squad and her team has finished in the top ten still ultimately do have." as the lack of support for women who years. During that time, the program has every year she's coached. She has won the Even if a woman has all the ability and could be role models; graduated 22 men. CIAU title six times. Shields was awarded the dedication to make coaching her profes­ *The attitudes of both males and fe­ Hardly any women coach women's teams coach of the year in '79 and '92. Currently sion, there arc still other barriers. They have males towards female participation; and in Canada, and none coach men's teams. The she is taking the year off to concentrate on to be accepted by the informal network of *The lack of commitment by women question is, why? the women's national team which has qual­ men who run sports. past a certain level of involvement. There's a tendency to believe that gen­ ified for the World Championships. Anne Hall is a professor of physical "There have been enormous advances der equality is much more prevalent today. She believes that technical skills can education at the University of Alberta and and changes," Hall said in an interview. But when we look at the number of women always be learned, "but whether you've got she has been involved with women in sport Continued on page 13 10 SPORTS THE CORD Thursday, March 10,1994 ordan·s just average SCOTI STINSON progress. he will prove himself as the most Cord Sports Last week saw the White Sox talented athlete ever to play pro Ah yes, the sights and sounds of play their first game of the spring, sports. Until then, Michael Jordan spring. The crack of the bat. The with Michael starting in right field. will continue to be the only six· pop of the catcher's glove. Michael Offensively, Jordan struck out foot-six baseball player with r.o Jordan's tongue wagging as he twice and hit a sinking line drive to power and barely average dcfen· chases a fly ball. shallow centre that outfielder War­ sive skills ever to play at a major Something is wrong with this ren Newsome snagged. For any league camp. He'll be nothin6 picture. With baseball's exhibi­ other player, a routine effort that more than an embarrassing side· tion season barely underway. the would certainly be overlooked. show. cx-NBA superstar's attempt to play With Jordan, it's treated as big Other Stuff: major league baseball has already news. Endless questions about the - When the NBA 's AtlanLl become painful to witness. ball that he hit. Jordan tells us that Hawks traded eight-time All St · Now, I don't really blame Jor­ "it felt good" and that he "got good Dominique Wilkins to the LA dan here. He says he's just pursu­ wood on it". Chicago manager Clippers, the move was a shocking ingachildhooddrcamofhis. Fine. Gene Lamont says "it was one of one. Not only did the Hawks trade Ya gotta dream, baby. The real the better balls we hit all day". their franchise player, they traded culprits in this situation arc the Talk about making a moun­ him while they were in first plaet Chicago White Sox, for giving tain out of a friggin' molehill. Lost in their conference. Jordan an invitation to a major in the analysis is the fact that the However, the trade looks bet· league training camp even though ball travelled about 175 feet. ter with each game Atlanta play he hasn't played organized base­ Hardly a moon shot. with Danny Manning, who the hall since junior high. Defensively, Jordan managed rescued from the Clips. Manning To make matters worse, the to catch one ball while dropping versatility will help the Ha11~ Sox have said that Jordan will be another, turning a shallow flare while a strong supporting cast mal given a fair chance to make the into a double. Error Jordan. Again, allow him to reach the level or team in spring training. That means the media was relentless in its ef­ success that has long been pre· he will play regularly. while other forts to question Jordan about his dieted for him. players who have busted thc1r asses miscue. Michael blamed the sun, -Who is in chargeofschcdut· in the minors for years will sec and wondered why no one was ing neutral site games in the NHL their playing time diminish in the asking the other outfielders who These games are supposed to spar\ presence of llis Airncss. What made errors about their mistakes. interest in hockey in places th! happened to their fair chances? Good point Mike. don't have a team. Maybe all of this wouldn't I suppose Jordan could im­ Last week, the citizens ofM1· bother me as much if is wasn't for prove at a ridiculous pace and ac­ nesota had the chance to sec Ot· its idiotic media coverage. Namely, tually prove himself a capable tawa play Winnipeg. Two Ia legions of writers and photogra­ major league baseball player. If he place teams. This is supposed 1 phers have descended upon the does, he will not only prove me spark interest? I'd sooner wale Sox camp to overanalyze Jordan's and the rest of his doubters wrong, darts on TSN. it ' ba k! T~EANNUAl 11 Folk, Rock ANd BluEs NiG~T 11 ScoTT DENEAU BluE PEARl MATT OsboRNE ANd oT~ERS MARk Sc~UMAC~ER

PRESEN EO by WLUANdUofW

rs of 1 1994 THE CORD Thursday, March 10, 1994 SPORTS 11 armers w1n• Guelph upset UQTR earlier in the weekend to Congratulations PETE ROBINSON Cord Sports earn their place in the final. The Western Mustangs got a taste of their own med­ Other than Western, our Golden Hawks had to the members of the icine this weekend. After barely surviving a close 2- handled all other three teams earlier in the year, 1 decision over the upstart York Yeomen earlier in the beating Guelph and York in league play and Trois Wilfrid laurier Golden Hawk football team efen­ weekend, the 'slangs fell victim to a hot goaltender, Rivieres in exhibition. ajor losing to Guelph 2-1 in the OUAA Final. Western still makes this weekend's national cham­ drafted to the CFL. .. thing Gryphon goaltender Georges Dourian turned away pionships, along with Guelph, Acadia and Lethbridge. side- 27 of 28 shots to lead his team to victory. It was the The National final goes Sunday at 2 pm at Maple Mustangs who rode the back of a hot goaltender, in Leaf Gardens. beating Laurier in the Far West Division final, earning To win tickets to this game, look for contest ad in tlanta the right to the OUAA Final Four. this section. ·,Star Stefan Ptaszek L.A. king •• Drafted 9th in the first round to the BC lions trade raded ;; (;l WIN ,.ICKE,.S •• place The University Cup 1994'' ~s hct­ E- ~UNIVERSITY cu• Men's University Ice lptays ~~~ cou" UN IVERS IT! they Hockey Championship ing's Craig Brenner ··lwks, WE CAN'T BE THERE, BUT MAYBE YOU CAN! tmay Drafted 27th in the third round to the Calgary Stompeders et of Ill 2 sets of tickets to the semi final games on I 1 pre- u Friday March ll at Varsity Arena 2 sets of tickets to the final game on Sunday March 13 at Maple Leaf Gardens spark -E- · that THE CONTEST: Mike Chevers f Min- z All you gotta do is be the first to come down c Ot­ to the Cord Feedback Booth Drafted 38th in the fifth round to the Hamilton Tiger Cots o last I ~cd to on Thursday between l pm and 2pm atch - a: and ask about the tickets (SIMPLE!). ·-·­ ace fo-r ·Mullin- esbitt ROB HUMS ing Detroit and San Jose meeting goaltender's duel, Chct Lemon's QUEBEC 8 SAN JOSE 1 hand, could not get on track, and Cord Sports Quebec, with the winners of those first period breakaway goal for Jarct Hcnhoeffer and his Que­ were once; again hurt by a short The Tan11ac Hockey League games taking on Ottawa and Tampa Bay -they later added an bec squad appear to be on a mis­ bench. Mullin-Ncshitt Cup playoffs are Calgary in the semi-finals. empty net marker -turned out to sion to avenge their semi-final loss QUEBEC4 OTTAWA2 underway. The two quarter-finals TAMPA BAY 2 DETROIT 0 he the difference. last year after finishing first over­ Ottawa picked an inopportune on Thursday had Tampa Bay fac- In what turned out to be a Sparkling goaltcnding from all. The return from co-op of league time to suffer its first loss of the Tampa Bay's Ted Smith and De­ all-stars Jamie Lanoue and Kevin season. An energclic Quebec team troit's Mike Crawford and missed Watts and the continued brilliant scored twice early in the first peri­ chances on both ends summarizes goaltcnding of Dave Sinclair have od, only to have Ottawa tic the this exciting contest. Detroit was made everyone forget about Que­ game at the end of the second peri­ hurt by the absence of captain Mike bec's mediocre first half of the od. Quebec regained that two goal Ponic and the inJury to Craig regular season. advantage in the third period to Nicholson. Tampa Bay, mean­ Quebec scored early in the first head into the second game of this while, showed the excellent defen­ and then three goals in a two-minute two-game total-goals series up 4- sive play which made them so suc­ span later in the period and cruised 2. (Note: The second game of both cessful earlier in the season. to victory. San Jose, on the other semi-finals was played on Mon­ day, March 7, but at press t1mc the results were unknown.) TAMPA BAY 6 CALGARY 5 Tampa Bay bounced back from a 5-0 loss to Calgary in the last game of the rcgu lar season to take the upper hand in this series. and they did it without the services of all-stardcfcnscman Jeff Anderson. Calgary showed grit in the third The growth industries of the '90s are largely ::TRAVELCUIS -=~s period and fought hack from a 5-l information based. Careers today require The Travel Company Of The Canadian Federation of Students • - deficit to make it close, and more importantly to he down only one high levels of literacy and visual skills . Universitv Shoos Plozo 886-0400 goal going mto the next game. THIS WEEK The Mullin-Neshitt Cup finals Call today to receive )OUr FREE SUMMER JOBS 1994 begin this Sunday at II :OOpm at information package: I 800 268-3968 ext. 361 Student Networking is a FREE seNice for the Bubble. Game 2 of the best-of­ employers. Employers are able to three series takes place on Thurs­ electronically search through the SN day, March 17, and Game 3, if database to find the ideal student(s) for the necessary, is on Sunday, March \hs~on ~ Ontario job(s) employers have available. If your 20. All games start at II :OOpm at CIBA Association the Bubble. The Best in Sight of Optometnsts resume is in our database, an employer may be examining it this very moment. Don' t Toronto and Anaheim will delay, send your resume today. square off in the consolation final on Thursday, March 17 at 12 am. Vision Awareness Week, March 6 - 12. FOR MORE INFORMAnON, CAll (519) 885 5077 l1'N COMPUTER STORE Math & Computer Building .-----SENATE·---... Room 2018 (519) 888-4636 Hours: 10:00am- 3:1Xlpm Monday through Fllday ANd BoARd of GovERNORs ElEcTioNs Di ow?!! NoMiNATioNs foR T~E WLU Student, Staff and Faculty are able to take posiTioN of STudENT advantage of the great pricing and service offered at the University of Waterloo Computer Store. SENATOR OR STudENT We carry a wide variety of computer products from REpRESENTATiVE ON T~E IBM, Apple, Silicon Graphics, SUN, DEC, Hewlett­ Packard, Microsoft, WordPerfect and a host of others. BoARd of GovERNORs ( 1 We have all the best brand names at the best pricing. YEAR TERM , 1 posiTiON We also sell our own inexpensive PC Clone we called the Scooter! opEN) opEN WEdNEsdAy,

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We're FRidAy MARC~ 1 8' House Cleaning 1 994 AT 1 2 NOON. and have we uncovered T~ERE will bE AN some deals for you!!! We're SLASHING prices on All,CANdidATES MEETiNG AT w Jackets w Nightshirts w 1 2: ~0 pM ON FRidAy wT -shirts w Books w Sweats w MARC~ 1 8T~ foR All etc etc etc etc etc etc etc T~OSE W~O SUbMiTTEd Available at our Spring EliGiblE NOMiNATiON pACkAGES. SIDEWALK SALE FoR MORE March 14th, 15th, and 16th iNfORMATiON, CONTACT: 9:30- 3pm In the Concourse STEVEN HuNwicks, Some one-of-a-kind, RETURNiNG broken sizes, end-of-line C~id OfficER WLUSU, 884~ l ~60 ALL SALES FINAL! THE CORD Thursday, March 3, 1993 SPORTS 13 Still areas of inczqui

Continued from page 9 Beginning with only five na­ charge of international events," she "Women's sport is so different tions, the FSFI grew and by 1936 wrote, adding that it was thought to compared to thirty years ago. But thirty nations were participating. be"the rightful provinceofmales." there are still real areas of inequity Even with this rapid growth, the Currently the lOC has on its and (women) can't seem to over­ International Olympic Committee staff 7 women and 93 men. With come them." (IOC)still tried to discourage wom­ 257 events open to men and 86 But women have spent years en from participating in athletics. events to women, men compete in trying to overcome the barriers that They did this by opposing the FSFI. almost twice as many Olympic exist in the coaching sphere. In Shirley de Ia Hunty, an Aus­ events as women. 1921 women were formally refused tralian former track and field ath­ Because they have so many entry into the Olympics. In re­ lete and coach, commented on the more opportunities to gain valua­ sponse, Madame Alice Millat of eventual disbandment of the FSFI. ble experience, men usually beat France formed the Federation Spor­ In the book Sportswomen To­ women in competition for top tive Feminine International (FSFI). wards 2000 , de Ia Hunty writes coaching positions. By 1928, as a result of Millat's that the IOC eventually laid the "There's a greater background efforts, women were active partic­ FSFI to rest. "It was not thought of men who have played at a high Should this man be a woman? File pic. ipants in the Olympics. appropriate that women were in level and have made coaching a and accessibility will national sport "I remember having a problem career," said Cathy Shields. organizations be funded, the with a vice president who told me 'Doc' Ryan is head coach for CAAWS forces national sport or­ that I wouldn't get any little boys the women's basketball team at ganizations to hire more women, on the team if I put my name down Saint Francis Xavier University and not only in coaching, but in all as the coach," she said. "Then it assistant coach for the men's na­ areas of employment. came down when a lot of parents, tional team. Ryan has experience York University, for example, mostly the fathers, accused me of coaching both men and women and established a gender equity pro­ coaching like a woman." believes there is no difference in gram in 1988. Athletic Director Because of this pressure, many 1 9 9 4 their dedication to the game. Mike Dinning believes that York women deliberately adopt a mas­ A coach's job is according to has to meet two goals. They have to culine coaching style. Ryan, is "relating to people, wheth­ have as many women coaching "Women bring different er it's male, female, black, or women as possible, and they have strengths and it is a very different white ... and I think that the most to have an equal number of wom­ game and it's less valued," said qualified person should do the job." en's and men's teams. Sue Vail, coordinator of York's RT§ Last year Ryan's position was Dinning said he's frustrated sports administration degree pro­ called into question and the univer­ trying to find qualified female gram. " Higher, faster, stronger is --uflf£ sity was considering hiring a wom­ coaches. "The whole system stinks. part of a man's game. But different an to fill his shoes. "But when it You've got to find women to coach is okay." came down to credentials, there your athletes and there aren't any Coaches of teams at elite lev­ was no question," Ryan modestly out there." els are believed to be coaching noted. York has gone so far as to offer 'masculine' women who might Most student athletes agree that an apprenticeship program that will need a strong hand. Harron doesn't coaches should be hired by ability, assist women in becoming certi­ believe that coaching has to be not by gender. fied coaches. Dinning said this will 'masculine' at all. Kelly Hessian played for Ryan "help make up for the historical "The passion, creating a team, in her first year. She is now a re­ difference", the lack of training bringing together something and turning student in the education women have had. making a unit. In hockey,a-;acoach program at Francis Xavier. Even with the best possible you have to unite them to perform "The best coach maybe a man," training, women coaches still have a common goal. It is feminine" she said. "I don't always think that to be accepted by the male sports Greg Malszecki is a professor the best coach for female athletes community. of Physical Education at York is always going to be a woman." Anne Hall believes it is pub­ University. He is currently com­ But female coaches say the licly considered "unacceptable for pleting his Phd on women in sport. only way they're going to become women to coach men. Men won't "There's very little acceptance for the best is by working together accept it. It goes all the way back women coaching men and women toward that goal. down to primary school. Very arc losing theirjobs coaching wom­ The Canadian Association for strong societal attitudes suggest en," he said, "even as women's the Advancement of Women and women cannot control boys or sport becomes more important and Sport and Physical Activity men." better funded." (CAAWS) was created in 1981 When York coach rhris Malszccki bel icves that part of with the belief that only when wom­ Harron began coaching in the Met­ the problem is that women believe en begin to speak together on sports ro Toronto Hockey League she was times arc changing for the better issues, will they be heard. faced with situations where she even though studies show that wom­ Making it clear that only was singled out because of her gen­ en are still not attaining equitable through a commitment to equity der. grounds in the sports arena. "People tend to believe that Second Annual affirmative action and pay equity and social equality as defined by Golden Hulk Weightlifting law can be legislated. But at the level where most of us live the Competition visible institutions, like sports that celebrate men's Iives, women can 'I Saturday, March 1 2th - 11 AM be equal because they're not there" Malszccki asks us to question WLU Athletic Complex why. 1f $350 million in taxpayer money went to the Skydomc, have Weight Room we never seen women's teams per­ form there? Female coaches arc also faced with an extra load of prejudices. If Your Used CD Headquarters! they're not married, their sexual orientation is questioned. If they IE;tD:I=r!1;1 have a family then society tends to believe that they should be with Used books, LP' s, tapes, CD' s & New releases their family, acting as a nurturer, We lake Canadian Tlfe money and compeltlors' coupons (certam and not on the road with the team. mstrictions apply). . 15 mtn walk from Laurier/ Call 884·4232 Perhaps Malszecki sums it up best. "We'll have equality when a 37 King 51 N, UpTown Waterloo woman can walk into a team meet­ ing as head coach and nobody no- .______...... ,...,.~"""'-~.....,~~t.,6;...,;w,;.w..,...;;u ~~"'.. ~'~·.,.. ·•~~es. ttr.t1-";ohe~'!'li'.W·omaa£-r 14 ARTS THE CORD Thursday, March 10, 1994

Ravings of the Mad Poet Blood

The power within. Screaming, For escape ... Desire for completion, While the red blood flows ...

Hot, sweet pleasure, Taste of ecstasy, While the red blood flows Within me.

Forever yours, Tim Miller

FISHER SHEFFIELo•s EPILOGUE by Terry Grogan

PART TWENTY: though she too was unable to I went and took a squirt, keeping my corporal state intact. Radakovich, Siobhan dcMorrow 11 make a move without my coop­ peeing all over the floor under­ But this time, in front of -you're letting these goddamn THE MIDNIGHT eration. neath the urinal, not really pay­ Caroline's new birthday gift to girls ruin your lifc! ... You've be­ SON VERSUS THE Standing in the narrow door­ ing attention to what I was doing. me, I was focusing in on other come an unsympathic, self-in­ As I was zipping my fly hack way, we were pressed tightly matters when Fat Moe Goldberg volved, pussy-whipped YANKEE INGENUE .. against each other, but somehow up, Benedict Mulroney, walked up behind me ... and I no­ she was still able to act like I Caroline's oldest kid brother, ticed he was now maybe 750, schmuck! ... Hello?" President Clinton's Inau­ wasn't even there. came over to me and said thanks 800 pounds. "Moc... somctimes I think, guration had been an incred­ I took out my gun, and at­ for introducing him to Sharon He just looked at me dully, that whole week with Sarah, and ible day- Wednesday, Janu­ tempted to hand it to Sarah, as a Stone ...and then warned me to and then took out his comb, and its aftermath up to and including ary 20, 1993 - after peace offering. stay away from his big sister. ran it through his long grey hair, today, was either punishment for all. .. everything had happened "OK, OK, OK, OK? ... Wc I gently straightened t ut pulling it back in a wave as he something I once did in the past, all at once- Joyce and Myra, both know that thing isn't loaded," rBen's black tuxedo jack'et screwed his eyes shut concen­ or else the price I first have to pay sex and dope, Caroline and she told me, never removing her bowtie ... and then told him: trating fiercely. Then he mur­ for future glory." Carolyn, Bill and Hillary be­ eyes from the floor. "Ummm... am I supposed to l)e mured: "Fisher, Billy's offering "Little Martha? .. .Is that what coming President, Moe and I checked the gun: she was afraid of you? ... Fuck you! I'll you a chance to go to The this is all about? Little Martha, Mau, Sarah and John-John, correct. kick your ass until your nose Show ... the fulfilment of your life­ with the millionaire daddy? ... Let Chomsky and AI Gore, Sarah Rostcnkowski was only bleeds!" J long ambition to write for the me ask you something: who cares Buckley and Bob Dole, and a heartbeat away ... and then she Then I left the washroom, Revicw ... and you're acting like about her? Who carcs? ... Who re­ Keith Richards looking to get sucked in her chest, and stepped ana walked back out and over tO you can't muster the energy to ally cares, huh? ... You offered to high- and I was terribly con­ out back into the ballroom. my booth, and stood in front of piss!. .. Hello?" make her your First Lady - can fused. I was shaking like a wet dog. my new birthday gift from A pause. you help it that she's obsessed Just as I made it over to the "Yeah, I had a fuckin' Caroline Mulroney, looking "The only thing I was ever with becoming President doorway leading back to the choice!" I shouted at her, point­ tlown at it. any good at," I just nodded, voice instead? ... She's an asshole, washrooms, gonzo journalist ing my Glock 17 at Ratso, and Less than five minutes later, gone flat, "was the writing. spoiled little rich girl...Let me Hunter S. Thompson floated then jamming Myra's handgun f\at Moe came over to tap me pn That's all I had ... But since my tell you something else," Moe by, like a phantom, and told against my forehead. "I had a my lett shoulder, to awaken me, first-and probably last-novel said, cupping his hands around me: fuckin' choice! I could have been aS' I was sometimes prone to went to the top of the bestseller his mouth, forming a flesh mega­ "Fisher, this country is go­ a heartbeat away! I could have blacking out while in the midst of charts, I've had to hack my legal phone, so that he could get my ing so far to the left you won't been a heartbeat away!" dee~ thought. ;Qften, while talk­ way through 1001 charges of attention with even a whisper, even be able to recognize it ten Sarah finally turned to look ing ith Moe, or Joyce, or copyright infringcmcnt...and "Watch ... my .. .lips: she's a years from now." at me. Buckle~. or Reagan, I would stop over 96 counts of libel...Even little ... political... bimbo... She's And then after watching "I could have had either you, what I was saying in mid­ Siobhan sued me, over the anal a... dumb ... cunt." him evaporate back into the or the Vice-Presidency! I had a sentence ... and my companion sex allusions... And who'd have I just laughed, feeling totally crowd, I turned around, and choice! Power... or sex! Either to would have to throw a baseball at thought that little bum freak knew empty inside. accidently bumped into Sarah serve Ronald Reagan, or to love m~, to cause me tosnapout9fmy how to work a book?" But then Moe told me: "Hey, Rostcnkowski, as we were both Sarah Rostcnkowski! .. ./ had a spell, and finish whatever it wa But Moe wouldn't let up: Mr. Popular! Look who's here to too big to fit through the door choice!. .. l had ... no.. .fuckin ' ... I Jtad been talking about. "Paulina Perestroika, Vcruschka sec you ... Hcllo?" frame leading back to the wash­ choice!" I bellowed at Sarah. \1 J Vr;ually when J lost my train Khrushchev, Sarah Paulina? I thought, sadly. rooms at the same time. She just looked back down at of speech, it was not because I Rostenkowski, Veronika Lodge, I looked over at the right side She was just a heartbeat the floor. was catatonic, but because I had of the booth. Carolina Mulroney, Cindy away, and, surprised, I tried to And I almost tore myself to to suddenly ocus all of my atten­ Chclsca .. .l sighed. look at her face, and maybe pieces when I heard her say: "You tion - aJi j qf my concentration Crawford, Robyn Banks, As the Fat Man wandered off even smile. But Sarah wouldn't asked me once to get out of your - on lteeP.tilg m body frorrl Anastasiay Yankhanova, Joyce back into the crowd, I sat down even make eye contact, even head. Please return the favour." retnrntngto m; energy-form, :rl'ld Vundcrstruck, Myra beside Chelsea Clinton, the Presi­ dent's dau htcr at the table. -4

THE CORD Thursday, March 3, 1994 15

"Death means never having to say you're sorry."

cpl fuzzball's School of Philosophy

LIZ *** (\gain i've fallen for the perfect 8irl

piller palter of love'o.~~ wifi8o.11

upon my cheo.~~l

dizziness wavers my complexity down our breallls beads of sweat ecstatic in a forceful frenzy

why (\gain love's addictive blinders drive me have i let this happen caUBht within thi.l\ deed ro inMUable

flurry of non-sequitur.-; who is she and the flutler of her lallheA lw lello.~~ me nothifi8 nn ~c- 1 n- ed caUBht within the sleam flowifi8 breath

piercifi8 each other'o.~~ lrutho.~~ more sure than Cupid's arrow o.~~he wipeA the strains from my brow at f• i know her ct roul-maleo.ll but her name. her face In 1d powerful enlreaUfi8 inlri8uifi8 ~ I e, new [e le d love comifi8 in spao.~~modic jolts (\gain leallifi8 my cynical stand throUBhoullife

Findin~ Stren~th and she a queen When the sailing is smooth both leacher and leached And the breeze is just right, eAcapifi8 could-a should-a roles Rest. Find strength in the calm. perfect and unknown When the waters whip and wail, Stay calm. Find strength in your love.

thanx. dale Jamie W.L. Hill CAMPUS CONNECTION Recipe Contest.

"The first 300 qualifying recipe entrants will receive a FREE case of New KRAFT* White Cheddar Macaroni & Cheese!"

There will be one winner selected for each of these 5 categories: I. Best Mealtime Recipe

2. Best Snacktime Recipe acceptance at the pnze as awarded. Th1s contest 1s only open to res•dents of Canada who are currently enrolled 1n a recogn•zed RULES and Regs 3. Best Recipe (by an individual) Canad•an un•vers•ty, college or other post-secondary educat1onal 1. To enter and qualify tor this contest can the KRAFT DINNER ·campos mst•tut1on. Employees ot KGFC. 1ts affiliated companoes. advert•s•ng Connectton• Rectpe Contest hotl~ne at 1·800·26-KRAFT and 4. Best Recipe (by a group) and promollanal agenc•es, and the independent judg•ng record your rec1pe. Include your name. address and telephone number organ•zat1on, and all persons res1d1ng tn the11 respect•ve and idenbfy the category 1n whiCh you are entenng (see below). It your 5. "Healthiest" Recipe households. are •nebO•ble. enlry is 1n the group category. include names of all indiVIduals (max. 5) 1. All decis•ons of the Judges are t~nal. The chances of wmmng w1ll to share equally in diStribution of any prize money depend on the number of el•g•ble entries and the quality of rec1pes 2. In order to be eligtble tor judging, recipes must use a KRAFT Remember, delicious, rece•ved Th•s contest 1s subJect to all applicable federal. prov•nc•al Macaroni & Cheese product as the main tngredtent. Recipes and mumc1pal laws. Only one grand pnze per person or group w• ll previously published by Kratt General Foods Canada Inc. (KGFC) easy-to-make recipes and be awarded. or other recognozed sources will be disquahhed. a. All recorded entnes become the property at KGFC. 95 Moalfleld 3. No purchase is necessary. Enter as often as you wtsh, but entnes creative recordings get Dnve, Don M1lls, Ontallo. M3B 3L6, and no correspondence will must be received no later than March 31, 1994, the CONTEST be entered into except wtth the selected t~nalists who w1 11 be CLOSING DATE. Only one rectpe per telephone call will extra marks! not1f1ed by ma1l or telephone By entering th1s contest, entrants be accepted A rectpe may be entered only into one category consent to the use of photographs andlor rec1pes, Without Subsequent entry at the same rec1pe '" another category Will not compensat•on, •n future publiCity and/or pubhcat•on earned out by be considered 5. Each of the t11st 300 elig1ble entrants wtll receive 1 case KGFC 1n oonnect•on w•th th•s contest 4. From an el~g•ble entries receiVed on or before the CONTEST CLOSING (24 packages) of KRAFT White Cheddar Macaroni & Cheese 9. KGFC , w1th the consent ot the Reg•e des alcools. des courses et des DATE, 20 rec1pes from each category w•ll be selected at random by w•th an approximate retail value of $24.00 One grand prize of J8UX (Ou6bec). reserves the nght to cancel or suspend th1s contest 1n an independent selectton organizat•on on April a, 1994. These $1.000 w1ll be awarded tor the best rec•pe selected '" each at the the event of any pnnt1ng or lldiTllnostrabve error OuObec residents may selected rectpes wtll be evaluated by the KRAFT K1tchens who Will 5categones subm1t any lit•gat•on respect•ng the conduct of th•s contest and the select 1 (one) best rec•pe In each at 5 categor•es . Best Mealt•me 6. Selected rec1pe entrants and wmners of the early b11d pnzes award~ng ot any pnzes to the R6g•e des alcools. des courses et Recipe. Best Snackt1me Rec•pe, Best Rec1pe by an lnd•v•dual, w1ll be requ11ed to s•gn a standard declarat•on and release form to des JI!UX Best ReCipe by a group and~ reope conf•rm compliance w•th the ott•c•al rules and regulations, and

CALL and GET a recipe! Listen to what other students are making with KRAFT DI~~ER! 1r 1-800-26-KRAFT 1r 'Reg•stered Trade mark of Kratt General Foods Canada Inc. • /

THE CORD Thursday, March 10, 1994 FEATURES 17 I~NVIRON~II~N·r·J~LIS~tl BRENNAN CLARKE century, but even today billions of Canadian University Press people on the planet live without it. VICfORIA - Filtered through In nations where toilet paper is the dust and smoke of daily life in not used, people manage to get by India, the burning orange twilight by using lukewarm tap water and looked like a brush fire over the nothing else. Here in the west the desert skyline of Rajastan. From added luxuries of soap and hot the squat toilet on the roof of my IN INI)Il~ water would make the jug-and­ hotel, I could hear mosques sou~d­ ity of us arc completely oblivious to waiting cow. There arc no disposa­ to make. Even so, having enough water method more sar.itary. Yet, ing a prayer call out of tinny loud­ the scope of a problem that has been ble napkins, paper plates or plastic wood to boil a pot of rice is no we waste millions of trees every speakers, struggling to be heard largely created by our own wealth cutlery. No utensils arc used, ex­ small luxury either. year on something we don't really above a ragged tapestry of bells, and overconsumption. cept perhaps rewashablcsilvcr-plat­ *Snapshot- Somewhere deep in need. Some may argue that there drums, and cymbals from Hindu Although there is a huge pollu­ ed tin teacups. the Punjabi countryside, a woman arcplcntyoftrccs to provide enough temples. I could smell the dung tion problem in India, not being a In a North American drive­ kneels beside a large mound of toilet paper for all. That may be fires burning in people's kitchens highly commercial ized society through, you get each item in its cowshit mixed with straw, doing true of Canada, for the moment, and feel the oncoming chill of the takes a lot of stress off the environ- own disposable wrapper, each con­ what her ancestors have been do­ but a rapid! y expanding world pop­ desert night. ment. TVs, stereos, and VCRs arc diment portion in its own packet, ing for generations. She pounds ulation and a shrinking pool of I placed the scoop bucket down not everyday household items. Few and fluffy paper the mixture into pancake-sized natural resources arc placing ever and to my left under a tap protrud­ can afford private vehicles, so most napkins to discs and slaps them on a brick increasing demands on the world's Ing from the cracked yellow ce­ people walk, cycle, or take the clean wall to dry in the sun. When they forests. ment of the bathroom wall, filled it bus, There arc no 7 -II s, y o u r arc ready, she will sell them for The United Nations expects no McDonalds, • , hands, cooking fuel and hopefully make the world's population to reach 12 with water, and washed myself off ~~, with my left hand. Then I tossed in no Coca- 11~'71.._. a I I enough money to feed her family billion by the year 2010. If the rest a few buckets to tlush the toilet and Co I a /'' packed for a day. of the world enjoyed the same two­ wandered off to any one of the a n d The ply luxury we enjoy in the bath­ rooftop cafes by the lake in Pushkar. c o m - entire room, trees would be an even more Somewhere in Pakistan, months par a­ ;.( popu­ seriously endangered species than ,.,...) ' llat ion they arc today. Someday not so far before I arrived in India, I stopped lively l . -· .l. ,. !#I using toilet paper. It wasn't a con­ I it I I c 1 of India away, we North Americans will scious decision, a political state­ plastic and co u I d face the same environmental pres· ment, or an attempt to have a real pre-packaged con­ not pos­ sure as countries like India do. If fA.hn~f n..tt.;:~v traveller's experience. Bathrooms venience food. Per 'nd>..' sibly be we learn from the experience of arc just set up that way in that part c~pi_ta consumptio~ in In- (~'~""' IN 0 I A supplied others, we may plan a better future of the world. dm IS about onc-th1rd lower ~~~ Ct>>l6'"'*"" with toilet for ourselves, but can we afford to After I managed to shake off than that of American cities. (, Fl.t

MAKETING: Graphic Managers and Artists, Public Relations Manager and Assistants, Feedback Coordinators 384 KING STREET N. WATERLOO

STUDENT ACTIVITIES: Board of Student SUN&MON 25C Activities, BSA Coordinator, Orientation DAY DAY WINGS Committee, Shinerama, Oktoberfest, Boar's 9:30 Head Dinner, Winter Carnival, Homecoming, Charity Ball, Summer Social Committee, Head Homemade Blues Band with 25C Icebreakers and Icebreakers. TUESD A y Paul Mcleod & Patti Flynn WINGS 9:30 Your choice of 3 0 PRESIDENT: Executive Assistant, Paul Ma?leod Pastas, Salad & 5799 Researcher, Archivist and Chief Returning WEDN E s D A y Accoust1c Jam Garlic Bread Officer. Thirsty Thursdays 2 Fajitas 51399 TH U 5ft50 1 Low Price . 0 UNIVERSITY AFFAIRS: Archivist, Health R s D A y .:6 all day (beef or chicken) Plan Campus Club Coordinator and Business Man~ger, BACCHUS, Safety, Equality, Laurier 0 March 11 Homemade Jam Band (W) March 18 Pandemonium Blues Band Students for Literacy, DFRI A y en March 21 Pandemonium Blues Band St. Patrick·s Day Special: GREEN 0 FINANCE: Accounts Receivable Clerk Thursday, March 17 4:00 to 7:30 : Bierdo Bros. BEER 9:00 to 1:00 : Paul Macleod ••••••••••••••••••••••••• 0 Job Descriptions are posted in the 1SUNDAY BRUNCH 57951 Students' Union Window with 1 Buy One - GET ONE FREE 1 Deadlines! Applications are I Coupon Expires Sunday, March 13, 1994 I available in the Students' Union ••••••••••••••••••••••••• Office . DAVE SCOTT Cord Entertainment 8affal'o Tollf&ftirj&f alfrl&ftt~at'l'ott~&f Can Buffalo Tom really be as un­ ambitious as they appear? This unassuming trio from Boston seem to be the college music scene's best kept secret. Perhaps this is in part due to the bad's somewhat naive philosophy of not prostituting their music for pop stardom. These reluctant self publicists are being gradually dragged kicking and screaming into the international spolight, due in large part to their fourth album Big Red Letter Day, which has been receiveing rave reviews in the hallowed British music press. With an alternative, yet ac­ cessible sound, this is the album that Buffalo Tom has always looked capable of making. Big Red Letter Day has less guitar noise and more melody than pre­ vious recordings. This is in part due to the evolution of the band, and partly down to using different producers-the Robb brothers (who produced the last two Lemon heads albums). ~ . Buffalo Tom brought much of the material from Big Red Let­ ter Day to the Palladium last Fri­ day, March 4. "Sodajerk", the tirst track on the album, and in my opinion one of the best songs of '93, translated brilliantly to the live setting. The rest of the set was delivered with an equally polished, hard-edged sound. Almost non­ stop touring over the last six months has obviously tightened up the live show. More concerned with keep­ ing the same fans and putting out interesting records, Buffalo Tom have a naive integrity that is as appealing as their music. Lead vocalist/guitarist Bill Janovitz commented in a recent interview that selling millions of records, "Is not something we have to achieve to validate what we do." But with Big Red Letter Day" they may just sell millions of records in spite of themselves. ..his microphone that is. Pic: Dove Scott cfo11re t#tt~ rv-e Jut leftfo~~()ttelf: #tav·e!( ~ t#tue jt

Dear Caped Crusaders, Dear Dynamic Duo, I have this super-power. I Right now I'm a little con­ can't reveal my name because fused. My girlfriend insists that I this would alert my enemies of perform cer~ain sex acts that I my secret identity. Anyway, my simply can not. One such act is super power is super-speed which known as the "Peterborough Bul­ brings me to my problem. When­ let". Although I have attempted ever I engage in the delicate, yet this and it seems to give her im­ exciting sport of pickle dipping. mensely satisfying orgasms, I find my super speed tends to disap­ that I can no longer continue. point the ladies a little bit and I've Should I continue giving her "the k lost more than a few girlfriends bullet" or maybe look at other over sheer frustration. How can I ways of arousing her. My gun is compensate and use this gift that almost out of ammunition. God has so graciously given me Signed, to please instead of frustrate? Looking For Ammo Signed, Dear Looking For Ammo, Speed Demon Let's just think about this. Dear Speed Demon, You're asking two girls whether R We have a suggestion that or not you should please your may not solve your problem but girlfriend. Of course we're going will hers. Foreplay-and lots of it. to say to continue. "Grin and Let your fingers do the talking. Bearit". If not, bring in the heavy SION Get that baby so warmed up, she' II power tools. Plug in lovers will beg you to put an end to her mis­ often do the job for you, going ery. Hopefully, she'll lose all where no man may have gone track of time. Do not be alarmed before. If this is still not to your 1994 if the ground moves. Maybe put satisfaction, try the "Kmgston on a little Simon and Garfunkel, Slide", guaranteed to put a smile "Slow down, you move too fast.." on both your faces. A selection of day and evening Remember, slow and steady wins Dynamic Duo courses in arts, social sciences, the race. Dear Dynamic Duo, Dynamic Duo I met this girl at a party about science, and computer science, Dear Dynamic Duo, two months ago. She was very -.. My boyfriend is really into friendly to talk to and we hit it off at the undergraduate and sex games. He enjoys us dressing great. One thing led to another graduate levels. up as different characters and per­ and we ended up going back to forming intercourse. Recently, my place for a night of we have been dressing up the same earthquaking, bed banging, skin itv courses in Metro Ottawa on cable every time! He enjoys smother­ stroking, orgasmic sex. I have channel 53 or at a distance by videocassette. ing my naked body in egg whites only seen her once since that night and then covering me head to toe and I am curious to find out how with feathers. He wears a white she is doing. More so, how do I Specialized Summer Schools in Criminal shirt and a southern neck tie and find out if she is interested in any justice and Social Policy, and Political assumes the role of colonel Sand­ further sexual experimentation? Economy. ers. I peck like a chicken while he Yours truly, chases me around the room until The Lad For a copy of the 1994 Summer Supplement, he catches me for dinner! I'm Dear Lad, write to the School of Continuing Educat1on, getting bored of this routine! Any Good sex is hard to find. If it Room 302, Robertson Hall, Carleton suggestions? was that good for you, it surely Signed, was just as good for her. Hunt University, 1125 Colonel By Drive, Tender Lickin' Good that partner down and do the wild Ottawa, Ontano K1 S 586. • ~..-.:, Dear Tender Lickin' Good, monkey dance till dawn. Science ~ Here's an idea. Make him is everyone's friend, and surely Telephone: (613) 788-3500 dress up in a really obnoxious she would be willing to do an clown suit and red nose and you experiment or two. Your concern can be the Hamburgler. You'd be for her well-being is admirable, ama1es what can be done with but let's be honest-you just want ~ those enormous shoes. You could to know if someone else is in her ~ 1 also delight in tasting each oth­ bed. Take the plunge, make your f!' 9N~!~!?~ er's special sauces. move. ~ Dynamic Duo Dynamic Duo 22 ENTERTAINMENT THE CORD Thursday, March 10, 1994

for my chance to pick up a copy and ally a part of human culture. To theirlifestyle without really making (i.e. those people who do not have critique it. Judging from the inside prove this he discusses the differ- it interesting or easy to understand Ph.D's after their name). ~fl} .. flap reading and the introduction ent types of warfare practised by (do not get me wrong here, because However, I should also admit . ,.,. of the book, I was expecting an peoples from the ancient civiliza- I do realize that military history that I have my own personal biases exciting read which introduced lions of the past to the peoples of does not have to be interesting or that have affected my critique of some challenging theories and the present (i.e. the Zulus, easy to understand all the time in this book (a historian? Biased? ~~~--·-·~~~~~~~~~ some interesting arguments for a Mamelukcs, Mongols, Romans, order to get its point across. It does Nah .... ). I tend to focus on 20th JAYSON "RAMBO" thesis that would blow me away. Greeks, Germans, etc.).. ------Century military history, and the GEROUX Well, maybe my expectations Throughout the book Keegan majority of the book focuses on Cord Entertainment were placed a little high. Or maybe also adds chapters on the dcvcl- the history of warfare from the I'm back!! After missing the last it's because I don't have a Ph.D in opmcnt of military technology ancient civilizations up to the two issues of The Cord (due to a military history yet. Or maybe it's and how it was effected by war- 19th Century, with only the 20th trip to Florida and an essay and because of my own personal inter­ fare being a part of the human Century discussed close to the mid-term due the first week back to ests in military history. Actually, culture. From the age of stone to end of the book. As a result, I school), I continue this column of it's probably because of all three of the age of iron, from the usc of grew disinterested and tired from critiquing newly published military these factors, but I was kind of the horse and chariot to the usc the book when reading it. You, history hooks. God, I love this job. disappointed with the book. I will of gunpowder, and to the even- the reader, however, may have a John Keegan has established readily admit that all I am is just a tual development of nuclear different feeling altogether, cs- himself as a widely-read military student who happens to have an wcaponry, Keegan wishes to pecially if you are interested in historian who has written a number intense interest in military history, show "that warmaking, for all its all that ancient history stuff. of books (including The Face of and while that docs not make me an destructiveness, has been an in- Thus a book which I had hoped Battle, The Price ofAdmiralty , and authority on the subJeCt, I would escapable feature of human cui- would inspire me proved to be a The Second World War). His most like to think I know a little about it. turc since organized societies disappointment. While recent book, A History ofWarfare, Y ct I had to really struggle to read emerged." He also wishes to Keegan's theory that warfare is can be found in hook shops every­ this book, largely because of show that because of the advent a part of human culture may or where, includingourvcryown Lau­ Keegan's fragmented writing, my of nuclear weaponry, humankind may not be accepted (we will find rier bookstore. own personal interests in military must now limit its warmaking out in the next few months when A History ofWarfare history. and the fact that I have capabilities if the very future of other military historians dissect by John Keegan only got a B.A. and not a Ph.D. humankind is to survive. ~.~..a.i•IWiiiWI.Waiil•liiiW~ this hook in critiques written Key Porter Books Keegan believes that the his­ Unfortunately. this synop- • much better than the one you arc 432 pages, $36.95 tory of warfare has always been sis of the book is a bit easier to seem. however, that Keegan has reading now), this book will con­ I noticed this book in many viewed either as a "war as the con­ understand than the book itself. gone out of his way to be especially tinuc to stay on the shelves for bookstores throughout the K-W tinuation of politics" study (the Although the book does contain a boring and longwinded in the writ- some time. I invite only the serious and Toronto area a few weeks ago Clausewitz theory so well-known few interesting sections, the hook ing of this book). It appears that military historian to pick this hook while I scanned the shelves for the from hi s hook On War) or as a is a challenging read, largely be- Keegan is writing for the truly dedi- up and read it just for intere-;ts sake. latest in newly published military horror story. Keegan thinks that cause Keegan tends to ramble on in cated military historian (i.e. those Special thanks goes to Kathryn history hooks. I was instantly in­ the history of warfare should not a rather disjointed form about all people who have Ph D's after their Wardroppcr of our Laurier hook­ trigued hy the title and appearance just be seen in these two contexts, the different cultures and societies name) and not really for those who· store, who lent me this hook to of the book, and I eagerly awaited and believes that warfare is actu- that have incorporated warfare into arc casually interested in the topic review. • Waterloo's Newest HOURS Mon. · Thur 11-8 SOFTWARE Friday 11-9 Saturday 11-7 FT~ DEALER Sunday 1-5 WA~E~OUSE 258 King Street North, Waterloo, Ontario (by University Ave.) 2nd Roar

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::0 --l ::0 --l ::0 .8.-o=! ~ E ~ .8 :;l s: ~~fl·~ c.. .. ~;p[~ ,l:P:;l~ '!;p[~ c.:;? e:.. _, ~~::r e:..s; c.:;;?~~ ~'<"' 5- '<"'5- ' --gc ::i ~gc ~~~0 =¥wc5 ::i "'~c :::> ~wo :l '-'l~c Q (I) ....,.~g;tg> .,...... ;pQ.g' ;pQ~~ ;pQ,.~ ~Qgg' ~Q.~ ~ ·!'§. '< .!';:t- '< ·!' ~ '< • ;::: '< .o- 3t~~- ~ ;l~; '< 'i ~ ~ ~~ =>"" it~~ ~t~~ ~t~~ NO COVER ·- - :-:. = ~ ~~ :-:. =~ l~~~

ANNOUNCING. e ons111u11on AMMENDMENT MEETING The meeting will take place on Friday March 11, 1994 at the weekly Cord Staff meeting. Meeting starts at 2:30 pm in the Turret (Willison lounge). All Cord staff members are asked to attend as quorum is necessary. The following is a list of the proposed amendments. Routine numbering changes and changes for consistency are not included. An full version of the proposed amendments is available from the Cord offices. Further details can be obtained from the Editor-in-Chief or members of the Constitution Committee.

Preamble majority votes for impeachment, the accused will be impeached penrling 5.3) Choir anrl the Vice Chair of The Cord staff ratification by the Board of PubHcations. We 6e/ine flr11t The Cord has an obligation to foster freedom of the 5.3.1) AChoir anrl Vice Chair will be elected each fiiOflllr term. press ond freedom of speech. This obligation is best fulfilled when debate In addition to regular duties, the Chair will take agenda submissions and 8.3.13) The outcome of the vote, as well as the minutes of the and dissent are encouraged, both in the infernal workings of the paper, and draw up the agenda for each meeting. impeachment meeting will be forwarded to the Boord of Publicatio ns for through The Cord's contact with the student body. ratification. 5.3.3) In the event that the Chair is unable to oHend a meeting, the GtJir The Cord will always attempt to do what is right, with lear of neither wiH 6e ,,.,,.,;61e lor qpointittg • "'"'tit11te Chlir lor tlr11t 8.7) As taff member may hove their staff status revoked, or a position repercussions, nor retaliation. We 6elie u tlr11t The purpose of the meetitrg Vice Chair will be the substitute Chair anrl will perform all holder may ettly be impeached, on~ on the grounds of: student press is to act as an agent of social awareness, and so sho/1 conduct necessary rluties of that position. the affairs of our newspaper. 9.4) Bylaws of WLU Stlltleflt Mlittltiofl' WLUSPshall always take 5.5) No member of the Ed itorial Boord or the WLUSP Boord of Publications precedence over The Corrl Constitution. shall be elected Choir or Vice Chair of the general Corrl staff meeting. BODY OF THE CONSTITUTION THE CODE OF ETHICS 5.7) Proxies for staff meeting votes must be signed and submiHed to the 2.3) The Cord shall print editorials and opinions about tire llttheNit' Chair before the beginning of the general meeting. No member of the staff Addresses WLU and about the other areas of interest to the llffiw emt, WLU shall hold more than two (2) proxies. Proxies rio not count towards quorum...... CorriMW staff members ore also urged to respect the community. Editorial opinions ore independent of WLU, WLUSU, The Cord privacy and safety of sources, their families and property, and not to staff, and WLUSP as a whole. 6.2) The Boord of Publications, 11' p1161i,lrer ol Tire Corel; shall assume all divulge phone numbers and addresses without their permission. As a responsibilities and rights for the publishing of the newspaper. The Boord of general rule, if The Corrl doesn't print U, neither does it release 2.5.1} In the event that a submission to the Cord seems to be in Pubncalions shall not exercise day to day control over the operations of the information by other means .... violation of the Cord Code of Ethics, the matter shall be brought paper, nor shall it aHemptto set internal or editorial policies. to the immediate attention of tire Editor·in .what per:s?nahty, music, Good question. You have a few d) · Crash Test Dummies a) Who shot J.R? (Dallas) '?0 v 1e or telev•s~on, would you I options. Take it up to the Cord e) other b) Beatlcs North American debut hke to see dead. I offices and ask where the official 6) What type of television pro- (Ed Sullivan) I "Readers Poll" ballot box is; drop gramming do you watch most c) The last episode of M.A.S.H. 1S) If you c~uld see one ban~ 1 itoffatthcfcedbackboothtoday; a) Sitcoms d) The Bills Losing the Super pi~,Y at Launer, who would •tl or drop off in a special, mobile b) Music Videos Bowl (XXV- XXVIII) be. I 1"Readers Poll" ballot box that c) Sports c) other I will he stationed in the Centre d) Soap Operas 10) Wha.,..,ti:-s-y-ou_r_r:=-a-v_o_u.,..,ri:-te_m_o-vie Feel free to add any com~cntsl Spot. ) th of all time? that you may have. We wtll bel I c o er · · · h · · I The poll contest ends on 7) What is your favourite T.V. a) Star Wars pnnttng t. c most tntcrcstmg ones I 1Wednesday, March 16 at noon. . show? b) Raiders of the Lost Ark along wtth your name, so be 1 I Winners will be randomly chosen . .. a) Star Trek: The Next Generation c) The Highlander ~arne~. I from all of the submissions, and b) The Simpsons d) Blues Brothers arne. I will be notified before the results c) Beverly Hills 90210 ~ e) other Phone Number: I

~------·~------~~ ~ ,...__ to J VOLUNTEER AT STUDENT PUBLICATIONS of THE KEYSTONE

'1111 (experience is an asset, but not necessary) Editor-In-Chief Oversees all aspects of the production of the yearbook

0 eld Assistant Editor Assists the Editor in oil aspects of the production of the yearbook. Sales Manager fs Co-ordinates the promotion, sale & distribution of the Keystone yearbook. n Sports Editor 's Ensures proper coverage of oil aspects of WLU athletics in the yearbook.

ADMINISTRATION Hosted by Art Director f!.J. Dog and MC ti.O. Assists in enhancing the visual appearance of oil publications. e Applications available at the Cord Offices (deck three, S.U.B). Applications dose Friday, March 18, 1994 at 4:00 pm. Interviews will take place during the week of March 21st.

~!;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; WLU Student Publications ·• Deck 3 • Student Union Building • 75 University Avenue West Waterloo • Ontario • N2l3C5 Telephone (519) 884-2990 • Facsimile (519) 884-5596 26 COMMENT THE CORD Thursday, March 10, 1994

Unernployr11ent

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A Wilfrid Laurier University Student Publication 75 University Ave. West, Waterloo, Ont. N2L 3C5 (519) 884-2990- Fax: (519) 884-5596 Advertising: (519) 884-5092

EDITORIAL BOARD EDITOR-IN-CHIEF ...... Sheldon Page NEWS EDITOR ...... Kathleen Hon•y ASSOCIATE NEWS EDITOR ...... Steve Doak ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR ...... Greg Sloan ASSISTANT ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR ...... Scott McCormick Canada SPORTS EDITOR ...... Jennifer O'Connell ASSISTANT SPORTS EDITOR ...... Eda Dl Llso PRODUCTION MANAGER ...... Lynn McCuaig FEATURES EDITOR ...... Ingrid Nielsen STAFF REPRESENTATIVE ...... Sean Wilde

STAFF Production Assistants: ...... Andrew Cameron ...... Paul ~Lean Classified Co-ordinator ...... Amanda Dowling Circulation and Filing ...... John Hucu/lak Copy Editors: ...... Emma Dwyer ...... Sandra Gabriele CONTRIBUTORS Melanie Seal, Katherine Manherz, Scott Stinson, Pete Robinson, Rob Hums, Terry Grogan, Tim Miller, Dale, Sean Wilde, Jamie W.C. Hill, Brent P. Lanthier, Kathleen Macauley, Jim Boyce, Samuel Morrison, Paul Mclean, Kelly Nixon, Graham Morbey, David Luckman, John Baal, Virginia Parker, Lawrence Hammond, Jelena Mihajlovic, Amanda Dowling, Mark Heasley, Lori Dodman, Sari Morrison, Petroula Kyriacon, Julie Clarke, Jayson "Rambo" Geroux, Stephanie Trudeau, Michael Rosenblatt, Anne Ferguson, Dave Scott, Selene Mcleod, Tanya Ventura, Tanya King, David Popovich.

Production: Chuck Fairley, Jayson "Rambo" Geroux, Mark Heasley. Photo: Aaron Betik, Dave Scott, Peter Bollenbach, Emma Levez, Virginia Parker, Lawrence Hammond, Mark Heasley. Cover photo: Dave Scott. Arts Section Coordinator: Sean Wilde

STUDENT PUBLICATIONS TREASURER ...... Jennifer Martin PHOTO MANAGER ...... Debbie Dulker Photo Technicians ...... Ke/1 Watson ...... Kevin Dickinson Editorial by Eda Diliso, Assistant Sports Editor Graphic Arts Technician ...... Anton Volcansek The opinions expressed in this editorial are those ofthe author and i./o not necessarily reflect those ofthe rest Art Director ...... Tina Romano of the Cord Staff, or of its publisher, WLU Student Publications.

ADVERTISING Manager ...... Mark Hand Ad Production Manager ...... Paula Kalljarvi Ad Production Assistants ...... Dawna Maclvor ...... David Janzen Sales ...... Jeff Nugent ...... Sean Mateer g ...... Allan Pawelek i 1 BOARD OF DIRECTORS a Adrienne Hodgin, President ti Heather Mundell Sue Barry I Chris Bradley Phlll Kinzinger Ul Jeff Oegema Michael Rosenblatt Sean Taylor (ex officio)

We have crushed the Reign of Terror! All Letters to the Editor must be sutmitted signed, typed (or submitted on disk or via E-mail) and double-spaced by Tuesday , March 14, at 12:00 pm for the following publication. But, we can only print letters that bear the author's real name, telephone number, and I. D. number (if th applicable). Please see the letters policy on the next page for all the details. All di letters must be no longer than 500 words. All submissions become the property of a The Cord and we reserve the right to edit or refuse any submissions. The Cord will th not print anything in the body of the paper considered to be sexist, racist, homophobic in nature by the staff as a voting body, or which is in violation of our code of ethics. It is possible that some really vile letters will show up in the letters section, since it is an open forum. We will be assimilated! Cord subscription rates areS 15.00 per term for addresses within Canada and S 18 outside the country. The Cord is printed by the neat people at McLaren Press.

The Cord publishes each Thursday God willing. The Cord ts a full member of Canadian University Press. All commentary is strictly the opinion of the writer and docs not necessarily represent those of the Cord staff, the editorial hoard, the WLU Student Publications Board of Directors, or the WLU Women's Centre. Copyright (c) !994 by WLU Student Publications, 75 University Ave. West, Waterloo, Ontario, 1':2L3C5. 1\;o part ofthts puhlicatton may be reproduced without D permisston of the F.dttor-in-Chief. Gottn like that letters section- ouch! {'1\ FEE.T AR£.. K\ LL\NG E, ,, so THE CORD Thursday, March 10, 1994 COMMENT 27 out of that love. Women's Centre is overly zealous in its femi­ I also want to thank Sam for explaining that nism, and thus is doing little to truly advance Letters Policy God loves everyone, even those who's lifestyles women's rights. In his opinion, the Women's Centre is a "radical women's group". They are a ·All letters must be signed and submitted with the author's name, student identification and He does not agree with. As an earthly father telephone number. cannot turn around and hate his son or daughter "little army", and are not "the type of women because he or she has adopted an attitude that he who do excel in this world". Instead, Scott • All letters will be printed with the author's name. Letters can be printed without the does not agree with, God all the more cannot McKay thinks that successful women "do not author's name only by permission oftbe Editor-in-Chief. forsake us because of what we do. draw a lot of attention to themselves ... (thcy) take ·Letters must be received by Tuesday at noon for publication In that week's issue in print, Thus, I believe that God's unconditional the world for what it is and try to become part of on IBM format disk, or via E-mail at: [email protected] love is the foundation of Christian life. It is not it rather than starting their own". In other words, • Letters that are submitted on disk or via E-mail must be accompanied by a letters release until we understand God's great, deep love for he is saying that the best women arc those who form or a signed bard copy that can be obtained at the Cord offices. us, so deep in fact that he sent His own Son to die sit down, shut up, and struggle to conform to a • Letters must be typed, double spaced, and cannot exceed 500 words. for us, that we can begin to understand why, out world that has been predominantly structured by ·The Cord reserves the right to edit any letter. Spelling and grammar will not be corrected. of love, God puts some restrictions on us. Once male power and male perspectives. one has accepted God's unconditional love for An ironic contradiction to this philosophy • The Cord reserves the right to reject any letter in whole or in part, that is in violation of them, they will begin to realize that they arc not is Mr. McKay'sown use of our University Presi­ existing Cord policies. bound by God's limitations, but rather set free dent, Lorna Marsden, as an example of one of ·The Cord is accepting photos to the editor. The Cord will accept black and white or colour because of them. these successful women. Perhaps Mr. McKay is photographs. The photographer's name, address, phone number, student number, and brief Heather Faber unaware that Dr. Marsden is a past President of description must be printed on the back of the photograph. One photo per issue will be used. the National Action Committee for the Status of Women, as well as a former Senator and noted McKay shocks sociologist in the field of public policy regarding forced to congratulate Ralph Spoltore and Scott Dear Editor, women's and children's rights (and other social Defending Scott McCormick, the 1994/1995 WLUSU President I am writing in response to Scott McKay's issues) in Canada. Aside from the above, what is and V-P (University Affairs), through your let­ article in the Features section of the Cord on Dear Editor, most objectionable in Mr. McKay's article are ters to the editor section. March 3. As I sat in Wilf's on Thursday reading his inappropriately personal remarks regarding I am writing to you today to express my McCormick, as my missing article stated, it, I was shocked. I had realized that the author extreme disappointment in those who wrote in members of the Women's Centre According to won the largest margin of victory in WLUSU had a problem with feminists, in particular the him, Women's Centre members arc "the hard­ last week attacking Scott McCormick's editorial history. He was clearly the superior candidate feminists at Laurier, but only now did his deep­ and character. They would have better served liners of an outcast group" who "bawl like stuck and deserved his massive win. I wish Scott the seated hatred for feminists become clear to me. pigs" and "do not appear to look like they want their interests by approaching Scott and asking best of luck for his upcoming term. It is ironic that if the author were to verbally him for clarification of his views. This was the to be a part of our society"- apparently by the Spoltore upset the Presidential race's early assault a womyn in Laurier's hallways, there way they dress. approach I took, and contrary to the belief of frontrunner, David Bigioni, marking the first would be definite ramifications. However, the those who attacked his character he is not a racist What is Mr. McKay talking about? As a time that a WLUSU insider had not won the hatred that is di reeled towards us in this article member of the Women's Centre throughout the or a bigot. He was simply using the editorial position in years. The WLUSU presidency was goes unpunished- unless you believe that what 1992-93 year, I certainly dtdn 't sec myself as a section as a vehicle to comment on an injustice supposed to be the final stage in Bigioni's three comes around, goes around, as I do. he perceives in society. I believe that the way member of a "little army" intent on divorcing year, student politics plan. My initial reaction was to think, free speech itself from society. Rather, through my work Scott tries to get his point across is rather taste­ The school's elite, from Orientation Queens is one thing, but this person should not be with the Women's Centre and my field place­ less, but this does not make him a racist or a to Students Union honchos, practically tripped allowed to write in any public forum. Of course, ments as a MSW student, I have worked hard for bigot. In the future when you feel slighted or over themselves to get on Bigioni's team. As the that was the instinctually protective and not the the prevention of family violence and sexual wronged go to the source to see if you under­ election progressed, however, their candidate's rational part of me speaking. Believing in free assault, and for economic justice, particularly stand what is being said rather than making habit of sticking his foot in his mouth made the speech means that you defend the right of any­ {but not solely) for women and children. Per­ mOammatory remarks in the editorial section of other candidates seem more and more attractive. one to speak, especially those whom you de­ haps the women that Scott McKay associates the Cord. Spoltore's campaign was the anthesis of spise. This has been a difficult idea for me to Russell Colaco with "refuse to acknowledge or associate with Bigioni 's; one of inclusion, character and fresh­ come to terms with, but I know that censoring the Women's Centre" because they arc more ness. With all due respect to Scan Taylor, who who can speak freely is not free speech at all. aware of negative, superficial images regarding Scott's apology has done an excellent job this year, Spoltore has Therefore, since the author is free to speak, "the people associated with it" than they arc Dear Editor, the potential to become the best President that and speak he does, I thank him for his blatant aware of the overall contributions that members In the Cord published on Feb. lOth. I wrote the Union has ever had. display of hatred for feminists. Fighting the of the Women's Centre have made to the univer­ an editorial titled "Correct Crap". The purpose Spoltore's victory proved that the student enemy we see is far easier than fighting the sity and surrounding community. Finally, how I and the language used was intended to provoke body isn't cynical enough to simply confirm the enemy we do not see. By bringing his twisted or the current members of the Women's Centre debate without appearing to insult or alienate victory of whichever career politician the elite viewpoint into the light of day, his power is lost .dress is none of Scott McKay's business, and his any individual or group of people. As is now decide to endorse. It is unfortunate that, instead and all can see what he really stands for, without comments regarding our fashion tastes arc rnap­ clear, I failed in that purpose. I would like to of reporting on what the victory mean 't to the having to dig through a layer of pseudo-feminist propriate and misleadtng. It seems to me that sincerely apologise to all of you who found it students, the Cord chose to take Spoltore 's post­ support (see Sean Wilde's article for an example what Mr. McKay is really saying is that he offensive and would like, at this time, to clarify election comments out of context and portray of the latter). doesn't like women who upset his vision of the what I originally intended to say. him as a poor winner. The author clearly has no concept of femi­ world by taking, acting, or looking "different". When to getting into institutions of higher Like Spoltore, I would like to congratulate nism. It seems to the author that womyn are Because some members of the Women's Centre education and get a competitive capitalistic en­ Aileen MacPherson and Dave Tricker for run­ doing just fine, with no kudos to the feminist have been courageous enough to do so, he im­ vironment, then we all should be judged and ning tremendous campaigns. The corporation movement. I would like to point out that the plies that they deserve to have nachos thrown at accepted on our merit and competence. Compe­ can only benefit from their continued involve­ womyn who excel arc still a minority when their window. tence should be viewed independent of ones ment. As well, Saar Pikar should be thanked for compared to men. Certainly, much progress for The article docs raise some genuine issues race, gender, or sexual preference. adding his interesting perspective to the cam­ womyn 's rights has been made in Western soci­ regarding the Women's Centre - such as its When it comes to the topics of Feminism paign. The other two candidates, GeoffThureson ety, hut thissucccssisattained within a patriachal apparently ncgattvc image on campus- that need and multiculturalism I honestly don't under­ and Phil Kinzingcr, received their thanks from framework, which feminists seek to change. And to be addressed. It is unfortunate and disturbing stand what's going on. These have become the public, who rewarded the pair with the two even here in Canada, look at the statistics for that Mr. McKay has marred this discussion with defining issues of how we live our daily lives. lowest vote totals of any candidates in the his­ income, rape, and wife abuse. And if we can his unprofessional, overly personal, and indeed The majority of the people in this country don't tory of WLUSU Presidential elections. manage to look outside our Western world for a sexist portrayal ofWomcn'sCcntrc members as, understand how these concepts should be ap­ For the time being, anyways, my faith in the moment, we find systems of patriarchy that arc basically, a group of radical, man-hating femi­ plied in their lives. Ifwe shy away from debating students of Wilfrid Laurier is restored. They much worse. It seems as if the author sees what nist bttches. issues such as these in our universities then how turned out in huge numbers and, given the choice he wants to see, but the facts truly speak for Mary Bums else shall we ever learn what other interest between a person and a politician, choose the themselves. groups think and feel. A university is the most former. We can all rest easy now. The fact that the author actually stoops to ideal environment forthe free exchange of ideas. Still reeling from censorship, I remain criticize the attire of Women's Centre members This was my original intent, and had no malice jim lowe illustrates that he is really grasping at straws to Thanks all! aforethought. All I sought was a fair and objec­ discredit them. If there arc womyn out there that Dear Editor, tive debate for the benefit of all. In hind-sight, PS: Certain Cord readers, as well as one defeated don't join for thts reason, they have a problem. In light of the recent fund raising event I I regret the vulgarity of language used and the candidate, should try and understand the differ­ Attacking those who are gaining in power is will take this opportunity to thank some deserv­ unintentional distress it caused you. ence between pointing out a frontrunner and typical behaviour for people who feel powerless ing people who helped out Student Publica­ I am in public office and when I look around cndorstng that individual. To me, that would and afraid. Scott, your insecurity and fear is tion's. The venue was Phil's Grandsons Place Laurier at my constituents I see only one seem like a simple observation but, to the showing. You have absolutely no power over us. and a whole wack of people showed up to show racc ... Students. As students we all share dreams, Countermanchc's of the world, it is cveidcntly We will continue to fight against misogynistic thci r support for the hands and Student Publica­ the same challenges, and the aspirations to one not. attitudes such as yours. So if what you fear is the tions. I cannot come close to expressing how day be the best that we can be. It has never been loss of your precious patriarchal system, then .... my intention to exclude any Canadian from you should be afraid. much I appreciate the effort put forth by the bands and all the indtviduals involved. An ex­ being the future of this country. You and I arc Thanks FISH! I've known the author as an acquaintance cellent show was enjoyed by all. The Result, The the future of this country, our strength lies in our for some time, and he once said to me something Dear Editor, Minitures, The Flaming O'Haras and Matt diversity and that is why a debate about who we to the effect of"you arcn 't a feminist if you like I am writing in response to last week's Fish Osborne all provided quality, well accepted music arc should be viewed as a positive and healthy me." Well, I am one feminist who knows he 's column. for the participants. Again, I thank all those who thtng. This all I meant to say. right. I would like to thank Sam for focusing last were involved and those who attended. Damn it, Once again, I apologtse for the inconven­ Bonnie Redekop week on God's love for us, His children. God's I mean it! tence caused. Please bear with me and refrain love is like the love of a perfect Father. Providing an organ any time you need it, from passing judgement on my character based As an example, a child finds it cruel that he is not on this editorial. Feel free to approach me Backlash anger Scott McKay allowed to help himself to the cookies above the personally or call me with regard to any issue of stove whenever he wants. However, his parents Letter to the Editor: concern. know that he could hurt himself while trying to I am writing to express my concern and Phone update Sincerely anger regarding the commentary by Scott McKay Scott McCormick get the cookies, and that he would get sick if he ate too many of them . Thus, these restrictions in the Cord's March 3 feature: "Backlash? Femi­ Dear Editor: While the major problems with our resi­ are not to burden the child but because they arc nism in the Nineties". Although freedom of dence phone system were resolved last Decem­ in the child's best interest. Likewise, we can not expression and crcativtty tn thought are impor­ Election wrapup ber, there arc problems remaining. These can not understand the restrictions are not to burden the tant principles, Mr. McKay violates their spirit Dear Editor, he addressed without upgrading the entire sys­ child but because they arl! tn the child's best with an article which is both irresponsibly writ­ Since my final Election Analysis was cen­ tem, and we continue to work on this with our interest. Likewise, we can not understand his ten and poorly researched. sored by the powers that be at the Cord, I am great love for us, and that these restrictions stem One of Mr. McKay's arguments is that the Continued on page 28 28 COMMENT THE CORD Thursday, March 10, 1994 Continued from page 27 friends and don't drink so much that you can't you were incapable of sitting down with all of us fucking quota. consultant. handle your situation, or any reasonable situa­ to get your own facts straight!! Scott please forgive these, stupid uneducated To provide greater access for external peo­ tion that may arise. This idea might not prevent Scott, although you seem to think that minorities, like my black self, for intruding on ple calling the residences, we have dedicated all the extreme case, but it can stop most incidents womyn 's voices should go on to be repressed I your intelligent, scholarly, white Canadian soci­ the main university lines to incoming calls only. before they happen, which brings me to my last will blow my so called horn for you to hear. ety. I didn't realize, until I read your bullshit Residence students have access to external lines point. Womyn's voices go unheard because they are article, that those A's I received all through high attached to the residence telephone switch. Ex­ Joanne is under the impression that her droned out by the filth that people like yourself school were merely a hand out to meet quotas. ternal people phoning the residences now get a feminist attitudes "ally" her to the common are capable of uttering. You are aware of the Silly me, that means that all that hard work I busy signal ifeither the trunks are overloaded or woman. She is wrong. Her ideals do not apply womyn's movement because our "horns" have thought I was doing really wasn't necessary. the number being called is in service. There is no to the commons, but to the middle class aca­ startled governments into changing legislation. I suppose the computers that mark exam cards longer that annoying "you can't reach that demic fragment of society, who can afford such Institutions and careers did not just magically arc programmed to detect gender and minority as number" message. fantasy. They stress mere threat of punishment open themselves to our suppressed sex. well. Wake up and get educated. You think The only remaining problem involves ex­ will prevent rape, so we can all do whatever we You are right, it is not a stupid statement to you're being treated unfairly? How about the treme usage during the period of midnight to want and forget about consequences. Maybe point out that the Womyn's Centre is contrived white Canadian treatment of the Native Indians, I :00 a.m. We would need to double our number someday all people, and not just the sheltered only of womyn. It is however, asinine to imply who have been here "since confederation" and of incoming and outgoing lines to handle this will have a way of redress to those who have that we are radical when simply standing up for MORE than 100 years before that? Stop being peak load. Doing so is impossible with our harmed them. It is certainly something I hope our rights. Calling the womyn of our group so egocentric. What about everybody else? current equipment. for. But even if by some small miracle this does "bawling stuck pigs" only outcasts yourself as How dare you suggest that physically chal· This month we will be making a recommen­ occur, rape will still go on unless we stop it an ignorant sexist individual. I think it is you lenged people should not be given a job o~er dation to the University about upgrading our before it happens. who has to get out of the "garbage can" and clean your able body. Do you realize how ternble phone system. Implementation will not be pos­ Matt Grebenc up your own filthy image. I am a member of the physically challenged people were treated in the sible until the summer term, In the meantime, Womyn 's Centre because I do not choose to live past? No. Let me tell you. At one time people residence students could ameliorate the problem by patriarchal standards. I am a "definable with "handicaps" were kept locked up, they were by ordering their pizza before midnight (we Feature sexist womyn" not by the clothes I choose to wear but not given the opportunity to get educated and noted 190 calls one evening to Pizza Pizza). by the person I am inside. Apparently it will take they were not given the opportunity to work. Put more than just a plate of nachos to hit you in the simply, they were not given the opportunity to be Sincerely, To the Editor: head before you realize that individuals of the active members of society. And this is what you Dr. Ron Craig, Acting Vice President: Fi­ Since it is obvious that the Cord indeed womyn 's centre are people. With or without our suggest we return to. nance and Administration publishes sexist material, I am left no choice high heels we will not be silenced by a backward Times have changed, physically challenged other than to respond to the trash that both Scott member of the opposite sex. people and minorities, are accepted for what McKay and Sean Wilde wrote in last week's they are, HUMAN BEINGS. That's right Scott "Femm1st Backlash feature". Nathalie Mandarich Paglia problem white, black, oriental, physically challeng(d or Contrary to Scott's belief I am one of the not, we all share mother earth, and we all share "new blood in the ranks" and am proud to say so. McCormick the same identity, HUMAN BEINGS. So tell me Dear Editor, As a womyn I deal with this sort of backlash on what exactly makes you, as a human being. In regards to Joanne Olson's critique of a daily basis and shouldn't have been surprised better than me of anyone else, as a human being? Camille Paglia, I would like to say that I disa­ to find it in our paper. I was startled however that is cynical You say, "I am the future", Scott the future gree. Joanne should probably listen closer to her two individuals would portray themselves as so scares the fuck out of me. Do you think life is mother's friend and a little less to herself. Not obviously sexist in a feature responding to femi­ Dear Editor: I would like to congratulate Scott McCormick easy being physically challenged, or being op­ only docs she have an obvious misconception nist backlash. Since I do not hold the men of our on a job well done. Your campaign was quite pressed? I challenge you to talk to me, and I about Paglia's message, it seems that her entire institution responsible for the words of two consistent to that of most cynical politicians. challenge myself, as your fellow human being, argument is tlawed and full of idealistic halluci­ ignorant individuals I will address my response nation. to only those two involved. Both articles were The day after you were elected, "Correct Crap" to help you realize the danger of your ignorance. came out in the Cord. Lucky for you that your Consider for a moment how you would fecl1f First of all, Joanne must be kidding if she blatant personal attacks on both the Womyn 's intolerance was not brought to light until after your mother or father suffered a stroke which left thinks that men and women arc not completely Centre and the members of our staff. the fact. them physically challenged. Should they be different in their respective biology and, as a Well Scan, I find it "sickening" as you put denied their jobs even though their work per· consequence, their attitudes, desires, feelings, it that you seem to believe that you arc indeed a The fact is that you alluded to something which the minorities at Laurier were unaware of. In formance had not changed? and methods. Testosterone and estrogen arc not feminist. Inclusive language only glosses over In conclusion, I would like to apologize for chemicals to be dismissed, and are exactly what your apparent lack of knowledge on the issue. discussing you enmity for quotas you stated, "in sucking the I i fe out of your Canada, for intruding make men and women distinct. Men who arc not We have ceased being "girls" for some time now the case of higher education we are facing simi­ on your education (because of quotas), for get· aggressive are the exception. This docs not and as a womyn I know that there is more to my lar quotas which lead to people being accepted to universities because they meet a gender or ting a summer job (because of my gender and mean that most men are rapists, and that most existence than simply crying and talking to men females expect this. In fact most men do very about my so called experiences. racial quota rather than meeting the highest colour), and last but not least for being a humaa being like you Scott McCormick. well controlling themselves, due to maturity, Where exactly do you get off saying that standard of achievement". To think that the minorities at Laurier are only here to meet a and due to the levels of testosterone inherent in both Beth Hadyl and Andy Noack have idealistic Matjorie Mohr their bodies. Many females, especially today, · views of feminism when you yourself do not try and do overcome their tendencies for many know them nor anything about the movement? reasons, and some are more successful than The whole problem of feminism today is not the The rules of calling Shotgun others. However, I'm sure much of this is pretty "tainting and twisting" of issues by feminists but things, but alas, my words fall on deaf ears. obv1ous. Men and women are different. men like yourself who continue to suppress BRENT P. LANTHIER Therefore, I have endeavoured, in the Olym­ Secondly,Joanne misunderstands Cami lie's women under the mask of a sympathetic male Cord Commentary pic spirit, to set out the rules governing the assertions about rape. Camille believes many bystander. We at the Womyn's Centre do not sit "What are ya, deaf? I called Shotgun!!" calling of "'gunners", in order to maintain feminists (and consequently women who be­ around bashing men (contrary to your belief) but My fellow studentsofWLU, how often have lieve them) take the wrong approach in dealing take constructive approaches at helping all some semblance of law and order: we heard words of this nature emerge from with rape. She believes that most rapes can be womyn around the world. You know nothing avoided if women become more aware of them­ about our focus or policies since you have never the mouths of our so-called friends: going to I )You MUST be in full view of the vehicle. selves and their situation. If someone drinks, once stopped to ask us what we arc all about. the bar, coming home from the bar, going to This eliminates people anticipating 2 hours they must realize they're taking a risk, not just of The continual reference to a man being sited Raunchy Ron's; just about any time more in advance that there might be a battle for the rape, but of death. I fa woman goes to a frat party in the centre had already been explained to you than two people desire transportation in a front seat and calling it then. (These are and drinks, she is taking an even bigger risk. yet I will draw a larger picture for you. It is solitary vehicle. usually the same people who reserve the 1V Because her judgement is off, she may let herself school policy that if any physical structural I have, on more than one occasion, had for some idiotic show that no one else in the get isolated and might not only get raped, but changes be made to the building PP&P must be the back of the front passenger scat (Huh?) killed. Although this may seem like the onus is house wants to watch. Melrose, anyone?)At notified. of my vehicle ripped open as my relatively on women to prevent rape, the emphasis is on Since no womyn work for PP&P and the least two-thirds of the vehicle must be VIS· intelligent and normally civilized acquaint­ taking responsibility for ones own self and ac­ construction had to be handled by them, we had iblc in order to be considered in full view. tions. Men get in fights and arc sometimes even no other alternative than to let a man onto the ances fight and scramble for the front scat 2)Thc person who has to get out first in a killed at parties and bars for the very same premises. I think my points have been both clear like celibate red necks trying to grab a greased two-door vehicle on a trip 15 minutes or less reason. Lackofresponsibility. lfyoudon' twant and concise. Do not preach to me about open pig. I have tried to explain to these barbar­ should get shotgun. This o nly applies, how· to get hurt, don't take so much risk. Stay with communication between men and womyn when ians that there is a certain etiquette to these Continued on page 29 The Vocal Cord "What is the first thing that you will by Paul Mclean and Sheldon Page do when the snow melts?"

"Lay out on "I' "Check to see if Jimmy Hoffa's naked." Cheryl Smith - 3rd year skipper buried in my backyard ." Ryan Balzamo - 1sf year whatever Greg Sloan, Hons. Grave Digging

.· 94 - THE CORD Thursday, March 10, 1994 COMMENT 29 ated tween other religions. What possible justi­ ~ o.n Examining the Cons in Steve fication could Christians ever have for caus­ OCI· ~ hit ing harm to another, since even Christ !•gh c:f\FISH claimed that even one's enemies must be tas. Doak's "Pros and Cons" loved? ~k I Y SAMUrL MORRISON In response, any Christian that has hated I KATHLEEN MACAULEY their values lie; nor will I address the com­ or caused harm to another is surely wrong. !rds Cord Commentary parison of the odours, or the manner in A Christian Perspective Christ taught that false prophets would arise yas I am writing to you in reference to the which one's lungs arc affected with the use Why be a Christian? Why change your and claim to speak in his name. Such people ink article titled "Is Doak on Drugs?" written by of either drugs or tobacco, since they are so life? Why accept Christianity over other would deceive many into believing that !the Steve Doak in last week's issue of The Cord. similar. However, there are five points that religions? There are several substantial rea­ they accurately represented Christ. In short, Now, perhaps it is true that I have led the I will explore: sons why everyone should accept Christ. many people misuse the Bible for their own most sheltered life on the planet, but I be­ Firstly, there has been as much proof Christ makes possible a direct relation­ advantage. lieve that the frequent use of drugs is bad. that alcohol decreases violent tendencies, as ship with God. A person can not only Christ is a God of love. He also has al- Maybe all the years of advertising have there have been saying the opposite, and emotionally express themselves to God but emotions and a heart. He does not want lpv er gotten to me, or maybe I do listen to my since alcohol in technically a depressant, I also feel the very real concern and love of people to refrain from knowing him be­ ible family and teachers too much, but I don'tsee tend to favour the findings of the research God. God enjoys the quiet and undisturbed cause of what others have done. ~the what's so fabulous about the idea of partici­ that documents the decrease. Secondly, moments when he is able to express his love Furthermore, good and honourable :Orle pating in something that could get you incar­ while the abuse of both alcohol and drugs to you. Christians exist. Many Christians do love ll.lere cerated. Granted, both alcohol and tobacco will have a great effect on the workings of Also, God grants ani ndescribable peace others and try to help needful people. Such and have been proven to be as addictive as drugs; the brain, an alcoholic must consume a lot to those who have accepted Christ as their people confirm Christ's charitable and kind Put and alcohol is more fattening, tobacco is more, with more frequency, over a longer saviour. God lives inside every Christian nature. They will also recount times when obe you linked to cancer and so on, but of the three, period of time, for the rate of brain damage with a physical presence. Sometimes God only Christ could help them with their dif­ on Iy one has been deemed dangerous enough to be equivalent to that of a drug abuser. feels stronger than an empty stomach or ficulties, and who, like a faithful God, did. to be illegal. Also, the reason alcohol is more fattening more noticeable than hot-chocolate. Per­ God helps with school work, difficult -- I don't say that I am in any position to is that it is ingested into the system, rather haps some may utter that it is foolishness to parents and difficult situations. Actually, condone or condemn anyone's actions, but I than inhaled, in the same manner that eating believe that such feelings arc from God; he fights alongside the Christian, causing don't get why some people's lives go all a donut is more fattening than smelling one. nevertheless, the feelings persist and not the resolution of his conflicts. Christ never askew when they devote all their living to This is also why alcohol upsets the stomach for any psychological reason, but rather said that the Christian would be exempt drugs, unless drugs arcn 't good for you. (vomiting is a way for the body to get rid of because Christ is a very loving and very real from difficulties, but he did promise not ing, Naive? Maybe. Some frameworks may what it cannot use, and it is a helpful indica­ God. only to overcome them, but also to love and ing? explain my perspective: I do drink, occa­ tor that a person has far surpassed their God's peace also removes any worry comfort while waiting and hoping in God. lure fe is sionally to excess, but I have never smoked limits). about death. No longer do Christians worry Reading the Gospels, which arc the 'gop- a cigarette, and I had but recently, never Finally, using references to historical about what happens after they die. To them, first four books of the New Testament, nd I even seen a drug. At a kcggcr earlier this practices as positive reinforcement for his heaven remains a place where they will remains the best method for gaining an eing, year, a friend had to explain to me what that arguments is not a very healthy proposition: finally talk with God more intimately than accurate portrait of Christ's character. Oth­ nee. smell was - so my view is biased by never in essence that perspective says that we they ever did with anyone else. There too, erwise, you can talk directly to a Christian pel if personally having "experienced the won­ should enslave blacks because we bought God will also reveal himself more inti­ or address this author anonymously on his h left der". their ancestors to works as our slaves, we mately that he ever could before. email account. Perhaps after your ques­ 'y be But I am not close-minded. Because should drill holes into people's skulls if they Perhaps some would claim that although tions have been addressed, you will see per- there arc people who have shared their drug have a headache, we should kill Jews to Christianity has positive benefits, it also more clearly the kind and gentle nature of a knowledgc/cxpcricnccs with me, I can un­ preserve the homogeny of our race and we has its negative side. For instance, many loving God. e for \ding derstand the appeal of the usc of narcotics on should believe that the world is flat... Hello? people have committed crimes while claim­ PS: Thanks to all who have written to r get­ an occasional basis. However, there arc Do you sec the problem with this argument? ing to speak for Christ. Religious wars have my email account. All are free to do so and r and some people who have to get a grip. What is The only thing that Doak and I seem to been fought between Christians and be- all names remain confidential. ;man going through the minds of those to whom agree upon is the fact that every individual is drugs have become a safety blanket? entitled to their personal freedoms, that they letter to The Globe and Mail, a doctor When you hear that an A student is must be prepared to suffer or benefit from wrote about the "gender gap in compas­ tlunking out, or someone hasn't been seen their actions, and that everyone should try enGENDERed sion ... In B.C. we (the province] do not pay forever, has lost weight, looks listless, has different things until they find what is right for blood-test screening for prostate can­ ditched all their old friends, or doesn't talk for them. Go ahead: experiment, dabble ... ct species ¥ cer. We do have elaborate mammogram with their family and so on- is it really just if that is what you choose for you. But be cars. screening for women between 40 and 50. a coincidence that they arc constantly stoned? careful, don't let something you smoke take lym­ by JIM BOYCE Both tests arc equally valid. One is paid for I recognize the dangers associated with over your life. That, even in my sheltered gthe and one is not. Why?" Ontario treats these the abuse of alcohol and tobacco, but in my world, has happened to people I cared for, ntain If I asked you what type of cancer was two tests in the same way. experience, people who have adopted a goal and I refuse to accept that something "good" the leading killer of men, what would your • In 1992, tens of millions of dollars of of being constantly drunk or of smoking all has taken away my friends. answer be? If you said lung cancer, you government funding was provided for breast the time have not lost a handle on their Mr. Doak, if you want to continue to 1iclc. would be right. But if I asked what type of cancer research. Far less is spent research­ I personalities, as have those who have em­ write your opinions for a column with head­ lOUrS cancer was the second-leading killer of ing prostate cancer. A lack of research can braced drugs. ing of "Pros and Cons", I suggest that you rthc men, the answer might be a little more be lethal. According to Warren Farrell, " In I must admit that I find some of Doak's take a moment to explore opposing view­ difficult since it is type that has been largely the 1920s, a new operation for enlarged statements to be misleading; actually I be­ points, or else change the heading of your ignored by the government and media. The prostates replaced an old one. For sixty lieve that his article is as biased as is my column. And please don't insinuate that the answer is prostate cancer and men should years no one studied the records to deter­ letter (which is strange, since he named his those of us in the Laurier community who .)At be as concerned about it as women are mine whether the new operation was as column "Pros & Cons"). I must also state have never done drugs have not lived; we vis­ about breast cancer. beneficial as the old one. When these stud­ that I will not get into the question of moral­ have simply exercised our rights to decide lew. The yearly casualties from these can­ ies were done, they found the new opera­ ity, since each individual must decide where what is best for us. in a cers arc in the thousands. In 1989, more tion resulted in a 45 percent greater chance rlcss than 3000 men died from prostate cancer of dying in the five years after surgery." how- and more than 4500 women (and 28 men) Breast cancer is arguably a more im­ More on the ethics of Shotgun died from breast cancer. In the future, ac­ portant issue than prostate cancer since its Continued from page 28 Canada or not, there arc several people who cording to Canadian Cancer Statistics, "One victims tend to be much younger. It is also ever, when each occupant has a different I swear think that the clutch is the gas pedal in 10 women will develop breast cancer, a more visible issue because of the lobby­ destination. If all of you arc driving to The and that the spirit of a reincarnated stock car while one in 11 men will develop prostate ing efforts of a variety of groups. The Twist, for example, tough titty: that scat is racer has taken position of their bodies. cancer." However, while both diseases arc results have been bcnefic1al: if nothing fair game. They own vehicles that arc dangerously close serious problems far less attention is paid to else, women have been provided with in­ 3)You cannot go outside, call shotgun, and to "droppin' tranny ."Again, it's like driving prostate cancer: formation on breast self-examination, and then run back in again. Stepping inside any in the Nausea 500. • During the early 1990s, Canadian news­ this has led to earlier detection of cancer. heated, enclosed space automatically ne­ c)ln sports cars. Being shit-faced in the back papers published eight times as many arti­ But, while continuing to fight breast cancer gates your right to the "Paradise by the of Matt Gillis' Honda Prelude is no picnic, cles about breast cancer as they did about we must also address the problem of pros­ Dashboard Light" (Ya, I know, that was Iemme tell ya! prostate cancer. Many articles appeared tate cancer and the suffering it causes men. cheesy.) This mistake is often made inad­ These, my friends, arc the official rules concerning breast self-examination and new More information is needed on the disease vertently after someone goes outside, hop­ of calling shotgun. Anyone who doesn't studies of breast cancer, but few appeared itself, on prevention and on treatment. Al­ ing to get dibbs, when they realize how play fair and cooperate should be relegated concerning prostate cancer. though. cancer might sometimes strike fucking cold vinyl scats can really get when to middle scat in the back: you know, the one • Canadian health care plans treat prostate women and men in different ways, all its the car isn' t nearly close to being warmed with the hump. However, because we live in and breast examinations differently. In a sufferers deserve our care. up. an ever-changing world, these rules can be 4 )Severe Iy intoxicated people automatically amended in extraordinary circumstances. get the front scat. This applies more so: One must also note that the position of a)ln the Winter. Defrost going full blast docs shotgun carries great responsibility, namely wonders to an alcohol-soaked stomach when fu II power over all temperature controls and, combined with gas fumes and the stop-start more importantly, THE STFREO!! driving of city streets. I hope this belies any concerns or con­ b)ln a standard vehicle. Young Drivers of flicts that may arise in the future. 30 COMMENT THE CORD Thursday, March 10, 1994 Special Needs needy move? How do you establish confidentiality is not large enough to accommodate another with the Special Needs Office; although it is KELLY NIXON when the door dividing the two offices can­ staff person, let alone the necessary office the educational institution that is held ac­ Cord Commentary not be closed completely because the wheel­ equipment that I would require (i.e. filing countable of such accommodations arc not The Special Needs Office is ideally lo­ chair is in the way? One more thing to add. cabinet, desk, two chairs, computer), nor i mplcmented. cated in the Central Teaching Building at Have you ever been in a situation where you private enough to allow for the discussion of Providing effective services to students Wilfrid Laurier University. At the present are hearing rock and roll music in the back­ confidential information. with disabilities is becoming increasingly time, the Special Needs Office services 205 ground, and you try to "plug" your cars, Being in an office away from the Special difficult. In a time when there are many students with documented disabilities. Serv­ or you have asked them to turn the music Needs Office has its inconvenient moments. budget constraints, the university has man· ices and the number of students with dis­ down, but the constant muffle is still there? Periodically, during appointments with stu­ aged to find money to build a new Science abilities are expanding. However, the office Imagine this occurring in your work envi­ dents, I need to photocopy a report, letter, facility, and there will be a relocating of space allocated to Special Needs is severely ronment on a day-to-day basis when you arc etc. from the student. I leave the student in several departments. I am aware that con· limiting. As an independent consultant to trying to prepare memos, reports, book ex­ my office for approximately ten minutes, go sideration MAY be given to allocating larger the Special Needs Office, I want to address ams, meet with students and/or faculty. This to another building (i.e. Central Teaching office space to Special Needs in approxi· the issue of limited office space available to is not acceptable and certainly detracts from Building) and find a photocopying machine mately two years. The Special Needs Office students and staff. This article is written the professionalism that the Special Needs that I have access to and that hopefully, is cannot wait for something that may or may independent oft he Special Needs Office and Office strives for! not being used by someone else. not be forthcoming. I am asking that the from the perspective of an outside person At present, I am a Learning Resource Having had the opportunity to view other university recognize the Special Needs Of· having interaction with this office. Consultant to the Special Needs Office two colleges and universities for the space being fice as providing a vital service, and to sho11 IMAGINE an office space measuring 8 days per week. Due to lack of space and to allocated to the Special Needs Offices and its recognition and support by allocating FEET X 17 FEET. Divide the office in half, ensure confidentiality, my office is located being employed as a Special Needs Advisor sufficient space to convey an attitude of because there are two people sharing. Add in another building (i.e. Student Services at Conestoga College, I am very dismayed in professionalism. to this space: two desks, two tables, book­ Building). I work with students with learn­ the space available to Special Needs at Wil­ I am sure the university is well aware of shelves, filing cabinets, chairs, printer, two ing disabilities. To best meet the needs of frid Laurier University. The message I per­ how much presentation and first imprcs· lap top computers, one computer terminal, students, my office should appropriately be ceive form this is that the services offered to sions affect prospective students' opinions monitor and keyboard. Add to this, in the located in the same space as the Special students with special needs are not impor­ and decisions about where to attend higher space that is left, a constant flow of students Needs Office. The number of students with tant, or that it is a luxury to have such education. In its day-to-day contact \\itb coming in and out of the office for purposes learning disabilities is increasing; not only accommodations. Under the Ontario Hu­ students and the public at large, the Spccta of dropping course notes off for other stu­ at Wilfrid Laurier University but at many man Rights Code, all colleges and universi­ Needs Office is representing Wilfrid Lau· dents, booking test dates for needed testing colleges and universities in Ontario. I am ties arc mandated to implement academic ricr University. Is the attitude of Wilfrid accommodations and making appointments. concerned that with this increase, there might accommodations for students with docu­ Laurier University being accurately por· In the fall semester, the Special Needs Of­ not be the availability of necessary and le­ mented disabilities. traycd through the presentation of, and the fice had 85 notetakers who used the office to gitimate services. If I wanted to increase my The responsibility for ensuring that ap­ space allocation given to the Special Nced.1 drop off notes for students with disabilities hours to meet the need, I could not feasibly propriate accommodations arc initiated lies Office? and there were 381 bookings for mid-term do so, as my office (although it is not really and final exams. Are you starting to get the mine) is only available to me on the two impression that things are a bit crowded and designated days that I am here. On the other busy? Add to this picture, someone coming days, the office is used by the Chaplains and into the office in a wheelchair. How do you Health Services. The Special Needs Office Exam fever

Addressing Cord's Christianity DAVID LUCKMAN active and more fit and be able to cope w Cord Commentary my horrible job that will pay me lots GRAHAM MORBEY sorts of words or usages bother or hurt Sitting down at my books I realized just money (but not as much as I want) so that Cord Commentary others. This is because Christians arc re­ how little I really wanted to study. As I sat can get some good skates so that I can d: quired to love their neighbours (friends or looking at my books, trying to think of more outside and get in better shape am A staff member asked me the other day enemies). This is my first disappointment something else, ANYTHING else I let my work off the beer gut that _I get from goin about my comments in a letter to the Cord in with the defenders of Christianity in ques­ mind wander back over the school year and out so often and spending all my hard Icarne.: which I wrote about my disappointment in tion. They have not shown much sensitivity how well things have been going (except the money on alcohol so that I can forget abou· what I was reading by defenders and detrac­ to gender in their talk. Maleness has been studying). After managing to sit down and going to work the next day and meet lots tors of Christianity. Another member of the dominant to the point of oppression. Using relax for a while I knew I had to get back to fun people at the bar and get lots of phont campus community thought that the Chris­ the term "mankind" instead of"humankind" studying, so I decided to fix a snack so that numbers that I'll forget the next day an tian stuff was just as elevated or more so than is not a question of political correctness nothing would distract me. After devouring wake up with an awful headache, late f some other columns weare treated to weekly. even if it is politically correct. It is now a my much needed snack, and checking that work regretting the night before that l'1e Great that people arc talking! Christian concern of love. On this campus there's not anything on TV that is likely to forgotten trying to forget that I had to gt I want to talk about my disappointment we have a style guide on equity in communi­ pull me away from my studies, making sure work today and not liking the way that m in the Christian contributions to the Cord. cation. While I think some things in this that my roommates don't need to discuss any head is pulsing in pain and agony but l'vegd This must not be construed as an attack on official guideline cave in to "political cor­ urgent pressing problems, clearing my desk, some money in my pocket but not as mucha1 anyone's Christian faith or lack of it. The rectness" as ideology, for example, the sug­ doing a laundry re-organizing my drawers I want so that I can go out again tonightb fact that Christians arc speaking out is praise­ gested substitute "end-of-term party" for and neatly arranging my books I sat down I realize that this is part ofan unendingcha • worthy. "Christmas party", it is on the whole, a very preparing myself to go back to work. so that I have to go out and exercise and have I have comments to make about how valuable communications tool. Christian Just as I was settling down to consider more fun skating and biking so that I fet Christianity is being communicated as well communicators on campus should be aware what I'm going to have to do to get ready for better about myself and don't feel the ncedtr as the actual content of what is being said and sensitive to "communication equity." the next little while in school, I realized that drink and start going to AA meetings sothal about the nature of Christianity. For all of I have difficulty with the content of what alii have left to look forward to over the next I'm with other people who also arc tryingtt us, it is well to bear in mind the words of might be called the "formula approach" to two months is professors trying to jam in as feel better about themselves so then I fcc Aristotle: "It is the mark of an educated becoming a Christian. It docs a very short many new evaluations as possible into the better because partly I do and partly IcanS« mind to be able to entertain a thought with­ black and white confrontational job on the next little while so that they can get a better how much more pathetic everyone else~ out accepting it." supposedly "unbeliever" and informs her determination of our mark before we have to than me so I can now go down to the park ana Let's talk about communication. It is directly about her eternal welfare. This write finals. play Frisbee because it's less physicalh true that when Christians read the Cord they comes about by lifting some famous texts Once finals begin to approach, then strenuous because I get enough exercise often cri ngc at some of the language. Some out of Christian Story found in the New there's no turning back, it's work forever roller-blading and biking so that I don 'tnee. four letter words arc used so often even in the Testament and jabbing them about like bayo­ and a day and dream of when they're over to play soccer and basketball and ba~eba; same sentence that not only do these words nets. (Have you ever noticed how strong the and the summer is here but over the summer every day so now that my life is back in order lose any real, effective contextual meaning military metaphor is in recent Christian songs I will dcfinatcly have to do a lot more outside and I'm fit and happy and enjoying life,tt (attention, shock, moral flaunting, etc.) but and choruses?) These texts then become the to stay in shape, provided that I can find a job time to go back to school and again get ustd they become boring and evidence of bad basis for a theology of "becoming a Chris­ somewhere to get away from to go outside so to long hours and wearying assignments a writing style (some would say puerile). tian" once removed from the story-line found that I can take the time off to get fit and then the stress and worry of exams coupled WI Christians arc very sensitive to certain words in the New Testament. They arc also re­ have the money to have fun in the evenings the oddities of roommates and the Jack that for them may be taboo. So if you want moved from the historic witness to these so that I can show off the wonderful body good cooking and real food and fall ingaslcet' to irk Christians, just throw in enough curs­ texts by the Christian Church. I grant that that I get from all this working out and every night praying that there's more tolif, ing and blaspheming to keep us on edge. some similar language to the biblical story is running around and show off with the huge than school and I can think back on th Too much, and we won't read you! used but it is so reduced that it misconstrues amounts of money that I make at my JOb so summer. Christians in turn, ought to ask what and misleads. that I can have a lot of fun when I go out so Then I find myself back in the present, that I'll dance and sing and have fun being a studying for THIS year's exams. I stretc goof which it's been entirely too long since and sit back up in my chair, once aga1 I've done and then I'll be doing a lot outside focusing on the text in front of me, prepanng Cord Retrospect is coming!! which will give me more energy so that I will for the test that no matter what I do, I knolf

' want to do more outside and then I' II be more will come. I I L-- -- ·· · · · · - - · · · - - · ' • l~h 10, 1994 THE CORD Thursday, March 10, 1994 CLASSIFIEDS 31

-two fridges and deep freezer Sept '94 EMPLOYMENT *rent is based on single occu­ -clean- close to W.L.U.- tennis Hourly rate based on performance. FO~ pancy per room court- NC More hours in = more $ in your Taking Intersession? *the sublet will go on a first -laundry facilities - parking pocket Start part-time now if you come basis to non-smokers available. want. riting Deferred Exams. although it is SJ\t..E. Call Sue @ 885-5509 Call Joyce weekdays 1-4 p.m. 747- t is held ac­ HOUSE FOR RENT 9882 Visiting Waterloo? tions are not IBM COMPATIBLE University I Lincon, Available 5- BEDROOM TOWNHOUSE COMPUTER Sept. (Or May), $11 00/Mo., 1 Good Location (Biuevalc St.) Writers and photographers for Take A Break lS to students $250 Yr. Lease, Reduced Rent May­ Near Amenities, Detached Large the next Cord. Please drop by the .increasingly 30MB Hard Drive, 5 1/4" 360 K Aug. ($600) 5 Bedrooms, Bedrooms, Rented Past 5 Years Cord offices and ask for Sheldon. This Summer At rc are many Floppy Disk Drive Laundry, Garage. 1-763-1988 To Laurier Students. Only $600 I E-mail your submissions to the ity has man­ 640 K main Memory (Guelph) (2) Mo. May-Aug .. , $1100/Mo. Cord at thecord@ machl. wlu.ca OTELLAURIE ew Science 14" Monochrome Monitor Sept-Apr. (I Year Lease) elocating of 2 Serial Ports, I Parallel port. 5 bedroom for Rent Guelph# 1-763-1988 EXCELLENT EXTRA Single $19.95 lre that con­ Will run word processing and $285/month INCOME NOW! eating larger DOS based programs like Word Close to WLU & U of W 2 - HOUSES FOR RENT Envelope Stuffing --- $600-800 Double $37.00 I in approxi­ Perfect, Lotus, Call 884-1569 5 Bedrooms - Lots of Parking - every week ~eeds Office;: First Choice, etc. Close to WLU - Laundry facili­ Free Details: SASE to Daily, Weekly, Monthly may or may Will support a variety of print­ Summer rent or ties - $290 per month/per person International Inc. Rates Available ing that the ers, including Inkjet and Laser Sept. '94- May /95 -Available May and Sept. 94- 1375 Coney Island Ave. ll Needs Of­ Printers. I 0 minute walk from Call 416-491-1370. Brooklyn, New York 11230 (19) Call884-1970 x3958 and to show Very good condition. WLU clean and spacious y allocating Call 884-0710 ext. 5201 3 bedrooms, 3 pc. bathroom, PART-TIME CASUAL: $9/hr for For Reservations & Info I attitude of full kitchen. Call885-1171 sales (NOT commission) employ­ I 984 Camero 180,000 km SE.l~VJC:E;.S ment. Choose the evenings you Cord's fundraiscr Monday night! 'ell aware of (mostly highway), winter stored, House For Rent want to work. Call 576-0551, ask This includes the people who per­ !rst impres­ needs some work, $2,000 or best. 3 bedn")ms, parking, laundry, EXAMS ARE COMING! Tutors for Grant. formed, the people who didn't per­ ts' opinions Call Ryan@ 884-0710 ext. 5252 two full bathrooms $275 per available in calculus, math, phys­ form, the people who drank, the !tend higher month plus utilities, 31 Mayfield ics, German, and biology. Call886- The Canadian Mental Health As­ people who didn't drink, :ontact with Canadian Grown Ginseng Ave. 884-7951 2928 (2) sociation - Waterloo Regional heck ... anyone who showed up! the Special For Sale: 742-4041 (2) Branch urgently needs volunteers It was nifty and swell Paul tells Vilfrid Lau­ GREAT SUMMER SUBLET! Tarot Card Readings! to support children on a one to one us ...we're sure you agree! ; of Wilfrid NOW AVAILABLE 4 Rooms available, 5 min. walk Call Heather M. @ 747-2704 basis in schools throughout K-W I 1rately por- T -shirts featuring a Cerebella car­ from W.L.U. Washer & dryer, and Cambridge. For more infor­ To My Sweetie: of, and the toon by Ryan Feeley arc available Parking, Big porch. $175 - Word Processing Service. Reports, mation, call 744-7645. Looking forward to a few hours of ccial Needs for only 15 bucks each. Come up negotiable resumes, letters, mailing lists, form quiet with just you. Just watch out to Student Publications for more Call 725-3614 letters, etc. on recycled paper. La­ EXCITING NEW BUSINESS for my defences! details. A MUST SEE! ser printing, dictaphone, equation OPPORTUNITY Love Genna editing, optical scanning availa­ Summer Job Managers Required First Class 2-bedroom apt. ble. Coast to Coast, Excellent Resume He Runs, He Flops, available for summer sublet. Audrey 884-7123 Experience, Low Risk High Profit, He Takes It In The Chops, FO~ Laundry, parking, 10 min. from Selling and Installing Inground Ir­ Come One, Come All, r WLU. Rent negotiable. Call 884- Perfection on Paper. Professional rigation Systems, Call: STUDENT And Sec Them Cannonball ~E.NT 9286. word processing by University SPRINKLERS 1-800-265-7691. Tues. Mar. 15,8-10 p.m. A.C. Pool o cope with Grad (English). Minor grammar (3) me lots of 5 Bedroom House available May corrections, spell check available, *ATTENTION* nt) so that I Summer Sublet 1994 King Street near Ezra. Two same day service, Laser Printer. We're looking for people who want WHO: The Fat Cats, the Dervishes, tat I can do 5 bedroom spacious house bathrooms, laundry, lots of Call Suzanne at 886-3857. (EOT, to earn extra money in their spare Black Cabbage shape and 5 minutes to WLU parking, licensed. I year lease TS) time on Wednesday evenings de­ WHAT: WPIRG sponsored from going $150 $1500 'month. Call 888-0258 or livering the Waterloo Chronicle in benefit concert (ard learned 884-1 970 ext. 5333 884-5017 (2) areas around the University. Please WHERE: Volcano Cluh orgct about F~ltlt call 886-2830, 9:00 am. to 5:00 I WHEN: Friday, March 11,8:30 tncct lots of HOUSE FOR RF"'T. Great 7 & 5 Bedroom houses for rent, pm. and ask for circulation. p.m., $5.00 Is of phone loca!Jon, seconds from ameni­ parking, laundry available, close Slt~VJC:.ItS I WHY: Raise funds to pro- xt day and ties. Room for 5. 6 appliances to all amenities, close to Univer­ he, late for incl. dishwasher, washer I dryer. sity, 12 month lease, Mark or Need someone to talk to? tect Clayoquot Sound ~c that I've $1100 /mo. Call 746-6599 before James 747-0683 $285 month The WLU Student Help Line is a To All The Brothers OfS1gma Chi, had to go 10 p.m. confidential listening service for Please Come To Meetings Because tay that my May-Apr. personal and academic problems. WJ\NTE.D The Year Is Almost Over. but l'vegot 3 Bedroom Townhouse For *Run by students for students* Rent. Only $555 I month plus ROOMS FOR SUBLET •Outside referrals available* Nessman as much as BACHELOR apartment wanted for utilities. Includes fridge, stove, 3 bedrooms in new house- fully Hours: 8 p.m. to 12 a.m. 7 days a tonight but September. Reasonable rent, close dryer, 2 bathrooms. Suits 3-4. furnished- laundry facilities- 2 week HEY TAPERS! Konker, Keeper, ding chain to WLU. Interested in 8 month Available May-May or Septem­ bathrooms - cable - parking- 2 884-PEER Quacker, Secker... une plethora des cand have lease or a sublet. Sheldon @ 884- ber- September. Also inquire min. walk to WLU- $270 a canards. Quack, quack! that I feel 2990 or 885-3871 the need to regarding summer sublet. Please month I per person - Available FREE EXPERIENCE! By volun­ . Ann: 'ngsso that call 747-0689 now. Located at May 1- Aug. 31 94 - Females teering at the Cord you can gain Thank-you for caring for me in my retrying to 511 Albert Street. only - call 888-9100 training free ofcharge in photogra­ Wanted: Even More Classified time of great illness. I'll pay you then I feel phy, writing, desktop publishing, Ads For The Cord! back in licks! ly I can sec CHEAP CHEAP CHEAP NOT YOUR TYPICAL and interpreting political bullshit. If your ad isn't in the Cord, it isn't Love James nc else is $150 Month STUDENT HOUSE Apply today. being read! Classified ads are he park and All Inclusive Summer Sublet cheap, they're easy, and people Shannon, I miss your life. John physically Call Now!!! 5 bedrooms, 2 full bathrooms, DRUG PROBLEM? We can help. actually read them (you're reading 725-5120 ~ exercise common room and kitchen fully Call Narcotics Anonymous 651- this aren't you?)! Come up to the -3 bedroom house May- August don't need furnished, laundry, big backyard, 1121 (5) Cord office today and put your ad Students and Alumni: -nice and clean d baseball 5 minutes from WLU, prices in before time runs out! $0.15/word. ck in order -dishwasher & washer/dryer & negotiable, call 725-0884. microwave ng life, it's Non-students: -patio with large private t1E:.t...~ 'in get used 2 Roommates Needed PE:RSONAt..S $0.20/word. mcntsand backyard Close to WLU & U of W $240 - 260 plus utilities pled with A ....:JTI!IIfDForChad,(asinthccountry)who's Bolding, italics, and he lack of Want a chance to Call 884-1569 W ~""'11111111 .... in his last year in the Phys.Ed fac­ underlining add $0.05/word. lingaslcep win $1,000? ulty. Sorry I didn't get a chance to SUMMER SUBLET say goodbye (not sure whether that ore to life Why not enter the Deadline: ck on the 5 Rooms Available Wanted: friendly, energetic, was my fault or your decision), but Noon Tuesday for that KRAFT Dinner 314 Spruce (Very Close) achievement oriented students for I wanted to thank you for making recipe contest? week's publication. c present, May I thru Aug. 30 part-time sales position w/ College an otherwise chilly Dominican Caii1-800-26-KRAFT I stretch $150 I month (negotiable) Pro Painters. Potential to earn $15 night a little warmer! Cheers, J. Where: for details or see the 884-1970 ext. 5264 nee again I hour. Flexible hours. Could lead Drop by the Cord on the full page ad appearing preparing to full-time summer employment. THANK YOU ! THANK YOU! third floor of the Student's Uo, I know in this newspaper! . Villa~e on the Green Call Jeremy 884-7601 HUGZ AND SMOOCHIES! Union building. Townhouse for Rent •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• To everyone who attended The 4 of 5 rooms available in May or PERMANENT I SUMMER Cash on)y basis please.

... 1 THIS WEEK

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From now until the start of exams, Resumes will be .available with a 2 HOUR turnaround. BUT TBIJBSDllY. 17th only if you come during office hours: MWF 12pm - 2pm @m@@~ TU&TH 1pm- 3pm 48 hour tum.around .any other time IT3[]rnm ~~~ -drop off .at centre spot.

Spec1.al from March 14 - 25 11 0Lf c (p & [Jlf<)':? 0 2 hour serv1ce IS .av.a1 .able .at 48 hour prices (on y $20), .after that, 2 hour service will be .available for .an .additional $7. W&~Q FRIDAY. 18th [J@~00@ COMING SOON (J(W~Q To A Bar Near You:

* Royal Blo9rl Comedy Troupe SATIJRDAY. 18th L Lowest of the Low 1f(X]I] @ffi~ 1f * WaF'S KITCHEN ~mM * Murder Mystery in Wilf' s IS NOW OPEN ~ffil]01f[!JW@ SUNDAYS <£@~1fl]01f oa J:JO-S:JO