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@ JsyPetanque www.thejpa.co.uk December2017

The most famous pétanque player in Britain?

Carrefour’s Keith Boleat became an overnight media sensation during the European Veterans Triples competition in Denmark. His story featured in national papers from the Sun to the Daily Telegraph and on radio networks including BBC Radio 4’s Today programme. And all because his boules went astray after checking in his suitcase at Airport. Customs officials temporarily impounded them because of fears they might be bomb-making equipment. However it’s not the first time Keith has made headline news in the national press: see Page 6 for details to all our readers Brave new world for Jersey trio Jersey’s reward for qualifying for the first time ever in the world pétanque triples competition is a trip to Canada. The men’s trio of Matt Pinel, Mark Nicol and Matt Buesnel made Island sporting history when they came 16th in the European Men’s Triples in St Pierre Les Elbeuf near Rouen last month. The top sixteen nations in the event qualified automatically for the men’s world championships which will be held in Canada next September.

“This result is a major step forward for the sport of pétanque in Jersey,” said Jersey Pétanque Association chairman Andy Limbrick. “We established a The Jersey squad before their match against France and some of the rigorous new training programme for our top players this year and it’s certainly world’s top players including Philippe Suchaud & Henri Lacroix paid off. There have been a series of good The event will be played on September where he scored a superb 27 out of a results for us in European competitions 13th/16th at Desbiens in the Canadian province possible 100, putting him in 17th place out over the last few months but a trip to of Quebec. It’s not clear yet whether there of 36 overall (the winner scored 48) Canada, which as far as I know is will be an individual shooting competition. completely unknown territory for us, is Matt Pinel was Jersey’s representative at the To qualify for Canada the Jersey trio the real icing on the cake.” European championships in Normandy began with two very close matches, both

Continued on Page 6

The ground rules Striking A regular series in which Elaine Paisnel looks at some of the laws pay-dirt in of the game that can lead to At least there was no argument about which way to head from the Vic in the Valley car park, At least there was no misunderstandings. argument about which way to head from the Vic in the Valley car park, the USA A PETANQUE PICK-ME-UP?

Within two Parish matches recently no less than three queries have arisen because of people picking up either boules or circles – so this time my subject will be “When to pick up or more to the point – when not to!

The first incident was in a triples game. Team A were out of boules while Team B still had four to play and were holding one point which put the score on the ground to 12-all. Having placed their next boule some players and spectators called out that the game was won as this boule too was holding. The players ‘at the head’ disputed this and the boules were duly measured. Team B were only holding one point. At this point both the holding boule and the cochonnet were picked up as were some other boules Columbus, Magellan, Drake, of the stars of the game. “The further away before it was realised that Team B still had three Cartier – just some of the great only disappointing thing for us boules in hand. Now, had it been just Team A who had picked up, explorers who discovered the was that all the European teams Team B would have won (scoring not only the boule on the Americas. Now you can add to were on one side of the draw so ground but also the three in hand). However, as they had also that list the names of Lahiffe, we didn’t get to play the top picked up, it became a ‘dead end’ with both teams at fault and Leathem, Limbrick and French guys,” said Alan neither team scoring. Scholefield. If they sound like a Lahiffe. “Otherwise we had a firm of solicitors, they’re not. fantastic time. The weather was The second incident saw Team C holding one point and their They’re the four Leathelimbs brilliant, the people were very player was just about to pick it up thinking all boules had been players who went west to see if nice and very welcoming; played, when Team D’s player called out and stopped him as he they could strike gold in the maybe because we were the had a further boule yet to play. Had the holding boule been USA’s largest pétanque only teams handing out pins, but picked up it would no longer have counted. And thirdly, a player tournament, the Amelia Island they were all very interested in from Team E picked up the circle thinking all boules had been Open (formerly known as the where we came from and played only to find Team F still had one left. As the circle was American Open). Amelia pétanque in Jersey (“No not marked it could be replaced and Team F could play their final Island is located off the north- New Jersey - Old Jersey”).” boule. Had Team E still had any boules in hand they would not east coast of Florida and boasts have been permitted to play them – as it happened on this 13 miles of beaches. It’s not to After each team had played five occasion they did not. be confused with Amity Island, rounds on the Saturday, the top the home of Jaws! 32 teams went into Concourse My point is: take great care before picking ANYTHING up as it A, and the next 32 into can cause all sorts of problems and can lost you points too! 180 doubles teams took part, Concourse B. Alan and Steve representing 19 countries, finished 59th and Andy & Mat French/Californian pair but drove down to Orlando rd th including some of the game’s 63 with three wins each, finished in joint 5 – hence the where we rented a house for top stars: Dylan Rocher, Marco meaning both teams qualified prize money. the rest of our stay, chilled Foyot, Claudy Weibel, Bruno for Concourse B. Both pairs out by the pool as the Le Bouriscaud and Philippe won their opening game on the “Amelia Island was beautiful. weather was stunning, we did Quintais There was $10,000 in Sunday but while Alan and W e stayed at the Days Inn for a lot of shopping, ate too prize money on offer and guess Steve won their next match to the weekend and made sure we much, drank too much but we what …Alan and Steve won reach the quarter-final, Andy got to see as many of the local were also on holiday so what $100 of it! Though by far the and Mat just missed out. Alan establishments as possible,” said the hell. We all agreed that bigger prize was meeting some and Steve then lost to a Alan. “On the Monday we we would definitely go again next year.”

Steve with tournament Alan meets Bruno Alan and Steve chequed Mat & Andy with Dylan winner Claudy Weibel Le Bouriscaud out in style Rocher Inter Insular

The At least there was no argument about which way to head from the Vic in the V

Jersey Petanque Club 2017

Sarnian s’ suffering Seb Renaud concedes Rob Birch, Champion begins before even defeat to Rob Birch of Champions singles the Guernsey team had Guernsey. Birch won the first at least warmed up and leg 13-5 and, although the throwing a boule managed to reduce the gap by second leg was much closer, winning the first round of he went on win it to become doubles matches 7-5. How- the ’ ever Jersey struck back in the Champion of Champions 2nd set of doubles, to win 8-4. The final match of the day It meant that Guernsey had to which ended in near darkness succeed in all four triples was for the Doubles matches in the final round to Champions of Champions win the competition. Their between Derek and Joy Hart chances weren’t helped by the for Jersey and Giles Cleal and fact that three of their team Brandon Ogier for the had to return home on a plane visitors. The Harts won the that evening and were first leg fairly easily at 13-3 replaced by substitutes. The and although the Guernsey

The winning line-up match was decided in the first pair made a fight of it in the triples when the Jersey second leg the Harts came Nothing went right for the between Jersey and Guernsey. threesome of Mark Nicol, through to win it and clinch Sarnians in the inter-insular The ferry timetable was too Matt Pinel and Alan Lahiffe the title. competition – in fact it all restrictive and air travel too beat their Guernsey opponents started going wrong before expensive. The decision was 13-0. Jersey went on to win The following morning the they left Guernsey. Their made to change the format two more of the triples Jersey trio of Geoffroy flight was delayed for four with only 12 players for each matches to complete an Buffetrille, Mark Nicol and hours. By the time they side, to reduce the costs of emphatic 32-16 win. James Gennoe completed the arrived in Jersey all they getting to Jersey. The hat-trick, thrashing their could do was go straight into Guernsey team were due to The Inter-Insular was opposition to the extent that action with no time for arrive at 10am but because of followed by a singles match Guernsey won only a solitary practice. They soon found the delay didn’t get there until between the winners of both point in the two legs (it was themselves 10-2 down after nearly 2 o’clock. The event islands’ singles champion- best of three) completing a the 12 singles matches. was squeezed into an ships, and Rob Birch for miserable weekend for the afternoon of play. After the Jersey and Seb Renaud for Sarnians. It proved to be too big a deficit and after the doubles and triples matches the home team eventually won the match 32-16. Guernsey’s woe didn’t stop there. There were three extra matches to find the Channel Islands ”Champion of Champions”, played between the singles, doubles and triples champions of both islands. Jersey won all three titles.

Twelve months ago the inter- insular competition between the two islands was scrapped for the first time in 30 years Champions of Champions: In the Doubles, Joy & Derek Hart because of travel problems In the Triples: Geofffroy Buffetrille, Mark Nicol & James Gennoe

CLATTER Rosie’s reward Select squad The selectors’ committee has & agreed to continue its At least there was no argument about which way to head from the Vic in the Valley carcommitment park, At least to an Island there was no argument about which way to head from the Vic in the Valley car park, squad after this year’s CHATTER successes in top tournaments. That means that the players selected for next year’s Inter Insular …

the Home Nations, the Veterans’ Invitational event in Denmark and the Triple A-rated? Women’s European Triples

Almost a quarter century of in September … will again service to Carrefour Pétanque be drawn from the elite Club was recognised at the squad. Invitations to be club’s annual awards dinner. involved with the squad Rosie Boleat , seen here with should have gone out by club president, Chris Romeril, now. Anyone who doesn't receive one and wishes to The first round of matches was presented with a glass bowl in the new Winter Doubles in appreciation of her 24 years of register, they can email or – the Triple A competition Teaching boules help behind the scenes. ring JPA secretary,GUER SteveNSEY (Anyone, Anywhere Foster (07797 729512) Anytime) – should have in French schools OPEN been completed. They were played at Parade Gardens. The French Pétanque Federation EGM gives thumbs up to new The second month’s is aiming to get pétanque on to matches will be played at the national lycée curriculum. So JPA subs structure First Tower and January’s far, only two schools offer the at St Peter’s Community sport. The students have four Centre. A dozen players hours’ of pétanque lessons a signed up to take part and week, but are not graded, so that they were paired off at the they are encouraged to improve JPA Magic Touch awards their confidence and ability evening as follows: Andy without judgement. The Limbrick and Paul Waters, Federation has helped to train the Lorna Limbrick and Brian lycées’ pétanque teachers, and Harris, Christine Eccles and financed all the necessary

Andrew Bellamy Burt, equipment, as part of its efforts There’s been a change to the fee structure that helps fund the JPA. Alan Lahiffe and Michel to raise its profile, in light of the It follows an EGM in late October attended by more than forty Morel, Steve Leathem and possibility that pétanque could members. This was the motion they were asked to vote upon: Elaine Paisnel, and Steve be an Olympic sport by 2024 if “That for the year 2018 and subsequent, the subscription to the Foster and James Rondel. France gets the nod. JPA be set at £0 and that the shortfall caused by this amendment be made up by: (1) Increasing the fees to the various leagues to a Boules & Baubles Jill – Carrefour’s figure to be set by the Management Committee on a yearly basis. (For 2018 is it suggested that the fees be £4 for the Magic-Touch The chance to play festive Jack of all trades and Lunch-Time Summer and Winter Leagues and £6 for the boules will be offered to Parish League) and (2) Amending the Affiliation Fee paid by the anyone going to Christmas Clubs from a flat £5 to 50 pence per member registered at the date lights switch-on in St Aubin. of the JPA AGM for that year” The motion was carried by 24 The opportunity is billed as votes to 14 with 4 abstentions. Most of the objections to the new one of the highlights of the St scheme came from parish representatives concerned about paying Brelade‘s Community more than the other sections although it was pointed out that, for Christmas Fayre on nd instance Match Touch members who played in both the Summer December 2 . The Fayre and Winter leagues would pay £8 a year. opens from 1pm France won the Au sommet du monde Women’s World St Helier Triples in China. They won 13-6 needs you the final against Jill Gayet has been named If you’re a pétanque player Madagascar. The Carrefour Petanque Club’s resident in St Helier and you African nation Personality of the Year. Among would be interested in playing had the her various contributions to for the parish team please consolation of running of the club, Jill keeps contact Rosie Boleat for more beating France in members up to date with the the world junior details: [email protected] monthly newsletter. championship

Bombed out … then Jersey trio bomb back in the EuropeanThe At least there was no Veterans argument about which wayTriples to head from the inVic in theDenmark Valley car park, At least there was no argument aboutThey which were way the to first head medals from won the by Vic a in the Valleylosing car 13- 5park, to both Austria and Slovakia Jersey team in a European competition and 13-8 to Lithuania. But the next day … the Jersey trio of Derek and Joy Hart with Keith playing with his own balls, plus Keith Boleat only falling at the they beat the Czech Republic 13-11. final hurdle in the Nations Cup, losing 13-3 in the final. They qualified for the Nations Cup knockout competition where they beat

The success went a long way to making Wales 13-7 to go through to the semi- finals where they faced a revenge match up for a disappointing result in the main event at Karlslunde in Denmark, which against Slovakia. This time they turned however was partially explained by the the tables and won 13-9 setting up the bizarre mishap to Keith Boleat’s boules final against the Germans. There was one (see page 6 for details). extra consolation however: in a raffle, Rosie Boleat won an "electric screwing On the opening day of the event the machine" which is what the Danish Jersey trio lost all their three games – evidently call a drill!

If you’ve never played in an international competition or at the World event earlier competition you will probably not in the year. The friendship was heart- appreciate the effect that playing against warming. We were greeted with hand- Europe’s best can have on one’s game. shakes and kisses (and that was just for The prospect of being beaten 13-0 seems the men) and when we played we found to dominate a player’s thoughts. The first the spectators very supportive of Jersey. point you win has a tremendous effect on the team and you settle down. It is safe to say that our first day was adversely affected by the missing bag and One and a half million euros had been we did not perform at our sparkling best spent on a purpose-built indoor boulo- despite our upbeat approach. Once we Super stadium drome. Fifteen terrains, 16 x 4 metres, settled down as a team we did start to had been strung out on what appeared to score. Our objectives changed over the be - and actually was - asphalt. This was progress of a game. The first point meant covered with a very fine layer of gravel. the fear of being fancied subsided. The Apparently the organisers wanted the second point set us on a path that meant terrains to be challenging. I have often we had a chance and we could win the said that a good player can play on any game. Games at this level are not over surface. Well, here was a real challenge. quickly. One game went on for nearly two Super stadium hours. The final between Holland and Once we’d sourced a set of boules for Spain lasted nearly two and a half hours. This meant we continued to the next Keith from a Swedish player (you already round. We went on with renewed know the trials and tribulations caused by Concentration is intense. We are aware confidence to win our next games, his missing bag) we tried to squeeze into that each boule counts. Disappointment is including that against the Slovakians, who a space and throw a practice boule. palpable as a boule goes past the had beaten us earlier in the competition. Boule to the left of them, boule to the cochonnet or a boule misses the target but It was then Germany against Jersey in the right of them, into the valley of European no recrimination it is up to the next final of the "Nations Cup". They had pétanque went the gallant Jersey team. It player. The Jersey team were fortunate to fannied their two previous opponents so was only eight in the morning. The event get a bye and be awarded a 13-7 win. our first point gave us a boost. Germany didn’t start until after lunch. is a strong team and their shooting skills were confident and accurate but we had Joy and I had already met several of the come runners up. other teams’ players, either playing

against them in in other European Standing on the podium to receive the first medal won by a Jersey team in a European competition was a great feeling but we appreciate that we still have a long way to go before we have the skills to stand on that other podium alongside Holland and Spain.

We must that thank our coach/manager Steve Foster and the JPA for their financial support and confidence in our ability. Cordiale relations PorcelainDining platewith thetrophies enemy Derek Hart

On top of the world ContinuedThe from At theleast front there page was no argument about which way to head from the Vic in the Valley car park, At

least there was no argument about which way to head from the Vic in the Valley car park, endingContinued with 13-12 from results. front In thepage first Jersey and Jersey found themselves drawn against beat San Marino but lost the second to the eventual winners of the competition, Scotland. A 13 -5 defeat by Slovenia really France. The result was a 13-3 win for the put Jersey on the back foot but they fought host nation but the performance of the back in the next game despite being 11-8 Jersey trio offered real hope for the future. down to England. A substitution for the mainland team backfired and Jersey closed The World Championships were last played out the game 13—11. in Madagascar in 2016 and the same French team that beat Jersey at the St Pierre Les Their chances of reaching the last sixteen all Elbeuf Boulodrome were among the losing rested on the last game against Finland but semi-finalists along with Belgium. The top happily the Jersey team put on their best trio was from the host nation, Madagascar, performance of the competition to win 13-6. with Benin the runners-up. The current There was an anxious wait for other results shooting world champion is a Cambodian. to come in before the Island trio knew they’d Well-deserved celebration finished in the top sixteen and achieved “The boys were absolutely elated when automatic qualification for the world they knew they had finished in the top our wildest dreams.” Not surprisingly the championships. sixteen,” said manager Michel Morel. “We trio have been selected to represent the felt confident of improving on our results in Island in Canada. The JPA are also The team also went on to the next stage of previous European Men’s Triples events planning to nominate them for next year’s the European competition for the first time but the achievement in France surpassed Sports Council awards.

Bombe surprise for Kamikaze Keith

Foul-play on a golf course?

And a cartoon in the Headlines in the Sun (left) and the Daily Telegraph JEP Continued from front page

We’re all supposed to found himself reading about it exposure in the national was delayed whist they experience 15 minutes of in the Daily Mirror. It turned newspapers. Work colleagues investigated what they thought fame – well Keith Boleat has out that it wasn’t a States now greet him as the Jihadi could be a bomb-making kit. had more than his fair share. Police report that had gone Jerseyman or Bomber Boleat. Many years ago he was taking missing – it was a prop that And all because of a little Whatever else was true, the a walk with his daughter had gone astray during mix-up at . brouhaha certainly didn’t help Melanie on marshland near filming of an episode of the Jersey team’s efforts with where is Bergerac! It was shown on His suitcase was accidentally Keith having to play with now. They came across a TV the following week and it loaded on to a flight to borrowed boules. Just as police case-file complete with started with a corpse found in Amsterdam where security unsettling was the fact that his a gruesome photo of a corpse a bunker on golf- officials became suspicious spare clothes had also gone half-buried in sand and course. when they discovered three astray. An umpire refused to associated evidence notes. steel balls alongside a mobile let him play in the jeans he’d The JEP got wind of the find The story didn’t have quite phone lead and some pain- travelled in and he was forced and before Keith knew it he same impact as Keith’s latest relief gel. The bag’s journey to borrow a pair of trousers.

Win a bottle of bubbly in our fantastic festive quiz in this test of your powers of observation. All you have The At least there was no argument aboutto dowhich is wayidentify to head the from wearers the Vic in of the the Valley featured car park, hats.At least there was no argument about which way to head from the Vic in the Valley car park,

12 Hats of Xmas

1 2 3 4 See if you can work out the names of some well- known petanque players

ALIENS APE LINE 5 6 7 8 THE RED ARK MR RICHER SOIL SINCEREST CLICHÉ PORN ESSAY CYDER GROUNDHOG RENOWNED CALLER ACORN MILK PLANT ITEM Answers on HIS SENILE ERROR Page 16

In the Circle 9 10 11 12

Christmas Gift Guide email [email protected] with your answers.

In the Circle special report: Denmark 1

Veterans’ Nations Cup 2017

Treated like royalty

What a right royal welcome a squad from Jersey received when they went to compete in the Putting on the Ritzema Veteran’s Nations Cup in Denmark. It was the first time that Islanders had been invited to take part in the tournament hosted by the Hvidovre Klub on the outskirts of Copenhagen. As well as taking on the hosts there were teams from , Sweden, Scotland and the Netherlands.

For a start all the food was prepared by a chef who’d worked for Queen Beatrice III for more than 30 years. We dined in the clubhouse, which also houses indoor terrains during the winter, and we were well looked after at meal-times by Erik Erlandsen who’d waited upon the Queen.

And if that wasn’t enough there was a heart- Mother duck warming chorus of “We love you Jersey” when Danish players mobbed the Islanders after they leading the beat the reigning European veterans’ champions, By Royal appointment Dutch team Sweden, in their final match of the tournament. It meant there had to be a play-off , giving the Danes an unexpected chance to win the competition. Delivered from the Hart “It was one of the best organised and most European events that I’ve ever attended,” said Jersey captain Derek Hart. “We’ve made a lot of friends out here and we’ve had many enquiries about coming to events in Jersey, particularly the open competitions at the Jersey Pétanque Club and Carrefour over the first Bank Holiday weekend in early May.”

Two teams from each country took part in the event making twelve in total. Jersey’s Team 1 was Joy and Derek Hart plus Wendy Ritzema while Team 2 comprised Dave and Brigitte Ibitson plus Mike Fennell. Jersey was the only ‘nation’ to pick women players for the event. The A Joy to behold opposition’s strength was underlined by the fact that most of them went on to compete at the European Veterans triples championship the following month which was also held in Denmark.

Many of the players were accommodated in a hostel, housed in a building which had originally been built as part of an artillery barracks before the First World War. It was basic but very clean with helpful staff and it was only a short walk from the terrains through a pleasant field.

Fraternising Breakfasts, lunches and dinners were provided at minimal cost and bottles of beer were only ten with the kroner – not much more than £1 each. Oh, and Dutch Carlsberg brewed for local consumption is

In the Circle special report: Denmark 2 The Danes celebrate The Jersey squad Jersey’s final victory

infinitely better than the export crap. The catering was fit for a refutes any suggestion that it had something to do with a Metallica king: “If it’s good enough for the Queen, it’s good enough for us,” concert that evening). said Derek, “we wouldn’t have come for anything less.”

Sadly that proved to be Team 2’s only win though they went close That was largely down to Jens Carlsson who did the cooking on a again against Netherlands 2 only losing on the last boule of the huge outdoor BBQ. We didn’t get Queen Beatrice’s favourite dish game. Team 1 also struggled a bit on Day 2 until their final match – clams cooked in a Pastis sauce – but the succulent roast beef we against the reigning European veterans’ champions, Sweden. had one night was amazing, an utterly different story to the Hayling Victory meant they’d won five out of their ten matches, making Island experience which was more Hi-de-hi than cordon bleu.” them equal fifth place overall (of the 12 teams taking part). As a

‘nation’, Jersey also finished equal fifth with Scotland. Day One involved a tough schedule of seven games for every team with the A teams taking on the B teams in the opening five. The play-off between the top two teams was fascinating. Both Jersey’s Team 1, Joy and Derek Hart plus Wendy Ritzema, pulled teams had to select three players to point at a coche eight metres off some notable victories while Team 2, Dave and Brigitte Ibitson away. They took it in turns, with the umpires measuring the plus Mike Fennell had a tough time of it, especially when losing distance from the coche of each boule before removing it. The their game against Scotland 1, only after Dave’s final boule was Danes’ first attempt ended up touching the coche and none of the judged by an umpire to be a millimetre further away than the next four throws were more than six inches off the target. But it opposition’s best effort. meant the last Swede really had to match the Danes’s opening

throw. He failed and the hosts celebrated. However Team 2 ended the day on a high in their final game against Scotland 2. They raced to a 12-nil lead, only to concede six That left only for the final lunch and the presentations to be take points on the next end and find themselves with a real fight to place, with the hosts proving to have the top team (which finish the job. But Dave Ibitson rose to the challenge and won the curiously turned out to be their B team) as well as being the top game with a great carreau. He was convinced that the big firework nation. The organisers said they were sure that event would take display that night in the Tivoli Gardens near his hotel was the result place again next year and that Jersey would be invited back. of the Danish nation’s desire to celebrate his brilliant shot (he

Tartan

crown

Dining-room cum indoor terrain Dave tucks in

The clubhouse The full line-up In the Circle special report: Bulgaria 1 Six of us joined Richard Sowerby champagne, cocktails and beer on his magical mystery tour to the flowed. The catering was excellent The PRIMORSKO OPEN Black Sea resort of Primorsko to play with a variety of tempting offerings

in the open event he’d enjoyed the including freshly cooked fish on the A special report from Bulgaria previous year. He chose to drive menu every night plus a big BBQ while the rest of us flew to the outside grilling different cuts of Bulgarian city of Varna. While meat. If we’d stayed in Bulgaria any Richard was frustrated by some time- longer, seriously bulging waistlines consuming border crossings the rest would have been inevitable. of us found ourselves wrestling with the sat-nav of our hire car. Oh, and we played pétanque – quite a lot of it actually, leaving us “It’s no good. It’s in Coptic.” “You precious little time to enjoy the hotel mean Cyrillic” “Yes, it’s in Cryptic.” pool (the day-time temperatures After a while we at last found were in the low twenties) or go to ourselves heading out of Varna. The the splendid sandy beach, a short only problem was that we were walk away. It was as big as St heading north and we wanted to go Ouen’s Bay but without the seaweed south. Our driver, Derek Hart, asked and stones (but just as sparsely Jersey One for his compass. So much for populated). The beach shelved technology. His wife had another gently in to the Black Sea which is solution. “My dad’s theory was to actually blue and very warm at this always turn left.” time of year.

Eventually we found our way out of The organisation of the sporting Varna only to hit major traffic activity left a little to be desired. We congestion outside the city of Burgos. missed the singles competition An hour or so later we were still none because they decided to play it on the wiser as to what had caused the the Thursday, the day we arrived – jam. Once free of the city, the rest of apart from Richard Sowerby who the journey was without incident and got there earlier. The preliminary we arrived at Primorsko. We stopped rounds were played at the adjacent outside the “After Orgasm Club,” Primorsko sports centre. The terrain wondering what the entry had originally been the athletics qualifications were, while we asked track and, well, the boules had a the way to our hotel. Paul Dove said habit of running off with themselves, he’d visited the club’s sister not to mention the wicked establishment, “The Premature deflections caused by the mini- Orgasm Club” but it was always craters created by the impact of empty. heavy spherical objects.

The Magnolia Club Hotel was a Richard coped with it all and Jersey Two rather impressive four star managed to get through to the semi- establishment. For 20-odd euros a finals, which were played on the night, with all meals and all drinks hotel’s smaller terrain, where the included, a doss-house would have boules ran even faster, so much so been perfectly acceptable, but our that many players resorted to simply accommodation was luxurious. Well rolling them. Richard was knocked we thought it was until the Doves out in his semi against a Bulgarian found an extra resident in their room but went on to win the third place – a rat running around their bathroom play-off against a Czech. The having evidently got in via a loose Bulgarian went on to win the ceiling-tile in the shower. competition, beating a Slovenian in the final. There were at least eight Judy Dove pushed her husband into nationalities represented at the the bathroom, closed the door and tournament but Jersey’s involvement shouted, “May the best man win.” seemed to be much appreciated. Well, it was no contest, what with Paul’s ninja-training, and a walking- The triples was next with Joy and stick is a deadly weapon in the right Derek Hart plus Judy Dove playing hands, as the rat found to its cost. The for Jersey 1 and Richard Sowerby, Doves complained to the management Mike Fennell and Wendy Ritzema but they were assured it wasn’t a rat making up Jersey 2. Jersey 1 at all. It was a tree-rat, quite different. qualified for the semi-finals but The distinction was lost on us. found the hotel terrain too tough to Primorsko handle and came fourth. Jersey 2 beach That Manuel moment aside we had a would have made it to the finals in splendid time at the Magnolia. The their place had they won their last

In the Circle special report: Bulgaria 2

game but had to settle for eighth place overall. A Bulgarian trio Richard won the event, beating a threesome from the Czech Republic. Sowerby

The doubles teams were Jersey feeling Boys (Mike Fennell and Richard patriotic Sowerby), Jersey Wonders (Derek and Joy Hart) and Jersey Gems (Wendy Ritzema and Judy Dove). None of us made it through to the finals though Mike and Richard once again needed to win the last Derek Hart of their five games to qualify but in the circle failed at the final hurdle. There was also an “international” three- hander between Jersey, the Czech Republic and the host nation in which Jersey came third!

There was a very enjoyable presentation evening at which Richard was presented with his third-place medal and Derek, Joy and Judy were given a trophy for Hotel BBQ coming fourth in the triples. And we all received a bottle of an exclusive, locally produced wine Let them eat cake which is restricted to 2,000 bottles a year. And there was a cake, iced with a pétanque theme. Emo, the tournament organiser, claimed to have baked it himself.

Pétanque aside we’d had a splendid time of it and it was little sad to be going home in our separate ways; Mike and Richard travelling to Sofia, while the rest got back in their hire care to take in some of the tourist attractions Hotel pool Bulgaria has to offer over the next two or three days. If only the car had started. The battery was flat. Luckily some helpful Bulgarian players got them back on the road after an extended session with a set of jump-leads.

Richard and Mike stayed at a quirky hotel in Sofia called the Magic Castle where the owner was Trophy a celebrated Bulgarian magician Meeting of moustaches called Astor. He even put on a presentation small show in the restaurant that evening which had a small stage. The rest of the party took in a tour The place to including a visit to Bulgaria’s old go after a capital, Veliko Turnove, which they described as stunning. Mike hard day’s flew back in time to play in a Parish League match while pétanque Richard geared himself up for the long drive home, having to go back via Split where he’d left his mobile phone. He arrived home after many weeks on the road. International competition “Never again.” Was his comment Jersey Pétanque Club Guernsey smash and grab raid Top two

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Doubles winners and runners-up Triples winners

Jersey players took most of the honours in the Matt Buesnel. The Plate winners were Guernsey Open. On the Saturday more than Callum Stewart and Vicky Le Poidevin and fifty teams took part in the Doubles which Consolage 1 went to Paul Waters and Christine were won by Geoffroy Buffetrille and Mark Eccles. On the Sunday the winning Triples team Nicol with Chris and Jake Romeril the did have one Guernseyman, Brandon Ogier, but runners-up. Two Jersey pairs took the other he was helped by Mark Nicol and Callum Stewart. medal places, Bryan Mollet and Bob Morel A Jersey trio, Alf and Rosemarie Le Masurier plus finishing equal third with Ross Payne and Joan Le Herissier, also came fourth.

Vagabonds are the Richard the Second Knockout Kings Ken Vibert and Wendy Ritzema are this year’s JPC singles champions. Ken beat Dennis Le Mercier 13-9 in the men’s final with Mike Ritzema in 3rd place after beating Brian Harris 13-6. In the ladies’ final Wendy won a tense match against Joy Hart 13-12 while Rita Le Brocq took 3rd place after beating Joy Le Marquand 13-9.

Richard Sowerby has won the St Mary Singles competition for the second year running.

The top two teams in this year's Magic Touch Summer League Family fortunes faced each other in the final of the KO Cup at St Martin's. The Vagabonds pairings of Mark Nicol and Chris Pinel, and Neil Liberation Petanque Club's Selby and Jake Romeril won the first two games (both 13-2). Charity Triples Open proved The next two games were honours even with both sides posting to be great day for the Ibitson a victory. With the match poised at 3-1 and with Vagabonds family. They won a very close Nineteen teams took part in having a huge advantage on count back (48-23) it would have final, 13-12 against Matt the Jersey Pétanque Club been a tall order for Grantez to pull a result out of the bag and Pinel, Andrew Bellamy-Burt Doubles and the eventual when Mark Nicol beat Geoffroy Buffetrille 13-3 in the singles and James Rondel. The other winners were Gordon and there was no way back for Grantez. For Vagabonds it is the winners were the Jersey Dorothy De Gruchy who beat second time that they get their names on the trophy - the last Children's Charity for which Mike Ritzema and Brian time being back in 2010 the event raised £175. Harris 13-8 in the final.

JPA Magic Touch awards evening “Best ever year for pétanque in Jersey” The At least there was no argument about which way to head from the Vic in the Valley car park, At least there was no argument about which way to head from the Vic in the Valley car park,

Summer League champions and the Winter League winners Division 2 Winter champions The JPA vice-chairman Michel Morel told the audience at the Magic Touch Presentation awards evening that 2017 had been a fantastic year for pétanque. “I think it’s been the best ever year for the ,” he said. In particular he cited the extraordinary achievement of Matt Pinel, Mark Nicol and Matt Buesnel in finishing in the top sixteen in The European Men’s Triples.

“The other thing that has been impressive is that we have so many Division 3 Summer winners Division 3 Winter champions competitive leagues. It’s great to see so many people fully engaged and Grantez were presented with their trophy Wrinkleys, without a win all season, enjoying their pétanque.” He went on to for winning the Summer League. They picked up the wooden spoon. The Winter thank all those people who were finished three points clear at the top, League winners also received their medals actively engaged in the sport behind the ahead of Vagabonds. Leathelimbs were and trophies at the awards presentation scene. He then introduced Brian Heard relegated along with Beancrock Boules evening: PES PC, who ended Vagabond’s from the sponsors Magic Touch who who only picked up their first point of the nine years in a row as champions of the said it was the tenth year his company season in their final match. Winter League; Rocquers,.for had been involved with the sport, winning Division 2; and Millennium starting with the lunchtime league and Les Papillons bounced back from last Marauders who won the Division 3 title. was proud to see how pėntaque in season’s relegation to top Division 2. Jersey had grown over the years. Brian Corbel received the trophy on his There were two final trophies to be team’s behalf. Pink Elephants were presented. The first went to Vagabonds, The first presentation of the evening promoted with them, their second winners of the Knockout Cup for the first was of the Wooden Spoon to the teams promotion in a row. Holmegrown time since 2010. They beat Grantez, that finished at the bottom of the Winter Boulers and Fleur-de-Lys were relegated. ending their chance of achieving a cup and and Summer Leagues, Wrinkleys and Boule-de-Dash were promoted as league double. The last trophy of the the Golden Oldies. Ron Le Herissier champions of Division 3 along with Coin evening was awarded to Chris Romeril on was the brave man who collected the Tourgis who edged out Millennium behalf of Carrefour PC for winning this award on behalf of Wrinkleys. Marauders on games difference. year’s InterClub League.

Ron Le Herissier Brian Corbel Vagabonds: Magic Touch KO Cup winners Competition reports

JPA Mens and Ladies Triples St Mary firing competition

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This year’s JPA Men’s Triples was won by Callum Stewart, Andrew Bellamy-Burt and Chris Romeril with an impressive six wins, ahead of Mat Schofield, Alan Lahiffe, Stephen Leathem with four. Third place went to Michel Morel, Neil Selby and Keith Boleat with three wins. The top ladies trio was Dawn Buckley, Cassie and Jean Stewart. They won three of their games but had a superior points difference to second-placed Christine Eccles, Hélène Retrosi and Natasha Michalski who also had three wins. In third place were Lorna Limbrick, Wendy Luce and Fay Schofield. . JP A Veterans Triples And Alec Stewart makes it a remarkable family triple

The Stuart clan have completed a remarkable treble. Alec Stuart was a St Mary Shooting Stars member of the winning team in the Jersey Petanque Association veterans’ Geoffroy Buffetrille is Jersey’s triples competition played at St Mary. new shooting star. He won this Earlier in the year his son Callum was year’s St Mary firing part of the trio who won the JPA Men’s competition for the second year Triples while his wife Jean and daughter in a row. And for the second Cassie were in the team which won the year running he beat Matt Pinel JPA Women’s Triples. Partnering Alec in the final, scoring 31 points to Stewart in the St Mary event were Bob his opponent’s 18. Elaine There was a small but select field! Morel and Tony Morton. They won all Paisnel won the ladies’ four of their games during the day. competition for the third year in a row. Their victory ended a remarkable sequence in the veterans’ competition. Matt did have the consolation In the three years that it has been played of posting the day’s highest it’s been dominated by the trio of Bryan score of 37 in the preliminary Mollett, Keith Boleat and Robert Birch round. Geoffroy was just who’d won it every year. This year behind on 35 but he had to however they had to settle for the come through a play-off to runners-up medals. In third place were reach the final because Mark Joy and Derek Hart plus Wendy Nicol also managed a top score Ritzema. of 35.

The men’s finalists Pétanque in the Parishes Parish Knockout Cup finals Parish League NiceThe Atone, least there was St no argument Ouen about which wayBut to head from St the VicLawrence in the V do the league double

St Ouen: 2017 Parish Knockout Cup winners

This year’s Parish Knockout premature end. Four teams Cup final couldn’t have been qualified for the semi-finals more dramatic. Facing the 2015 which were played at the Jersey winners, St Lawrence, were St Pétanque Club’s terrains. All Ouen who’d never got past the the matches consisted of three The St Lawrence 2017 league squad preliminary rounds previously. games, a singles, a doubles and With St Ouen having won the triples. St Lawrence beat Parish League 2017: Final Table triples and St Lawrence Grouville 2-1 in the first semi- needing just one point in the final and St Ouen came through Parish P W D L Gs W Gs L Pts doubles the whole match with the same scoreline against St Lawrence 22 15 3 4 83 49 48 depended on the result of the St Brelade. singles which were deadlocked St Saviour 22 13 6 3 82 50 45 at 12-all going into the last end. The final resulted in St John 22 12 6 4 74 58 42 Ken Vibert for St Ouen had comfortable victories for St St Ouen 22 9 8 5 72 60 35 been 8-4 ahead but Tony Lawrence in the doubles – Bob St Peter 22 9 7 6 70 62 34 Morton hit back to lead 12-8 and Frank Morel beating Ken St Martin 22 8 6 8 68 64 30 only to see his lead dissipate. Luce and Kath Bohan 13-6 – Ken Vibert then clinched the and St Ouen in the triples, St Clement 22 8 6 8 67 65 30 game & the trophy for St Ouen. Graeme Follain, Jeff Thomas St Helier 22 7 7 8 63 69 28 and Ron Vibert winning 13-5 Grouville 22 6 7 9 61 71 25 The competition’s preliminary against Ken Le Brun, Ken St Brelade 22 6 3 13 59 73 21 rounds were played in late June Jones and Sid Simkin. The St Mary 22 3 5 14 48 84 14 but a continuous downpour result then hinged on that brought proceedings to a dramatic finale. Trinity 22 2 4 16 38 94 10 St Lawrence have won the Parish League for the second year in a row. They finished three points clear of their nearest rivals, St Saviour, with St John in third place and a big gap to St Ouen in fourth. Perhaps the most remarkable performance however was by St Saviour who finished bottom of the table in 2016 but subsequently managed to turn things around to the extent that they gave St Lawrence a serious run for their money. Third placed St John finished in style taking all six games in their home tie against St Ouen who in turn finished fourth.

It was the first year that all twelve parishes played in the league. Although newcomers, Trinity, ended the season with a draw against Grouville they finished bottom of the pile but they can be well pleased with their first full year in the league “A few weeks to rest and get some coaching before St Saviour: second in the league the 2018 season begins early in the New Year!” said League secretary, Elaine Paisnel Dates for your Diary , bouncing back after being (Please note this is only a guide. It’s drawn from the club web- Season’srelegated the previous sweeter for Rita sites and is subject to change. Please check with the host club season before attending any event) t least there was no argument about which way to head from the Vic in the Valley car park, At least

DECEMBERthere was no argument about which way to head from the Vic in the Valley car park, 2nd LPC Charity Xmas Doubles for Jersey Children, start 9.30 2nd St Mary Doubles competition 7th St Mary PC annual dinner

JANUARY 6th CPC AGM after the winter melee – 4pm approx 27th Super Sevens Cup, LPC

FEBRUARY th 5 JPA AGM at Jersey Petanque Club from 7.30pm Rita Le Brocq is Jersey The Biggest Boules bag” award Pétanque Club’s Player of the went to Brian Harris; Mike Sports council award nominees Year. She finished on 78 Ritzema received the “Ice Cream Lolly Eater” award; the points with Mike Ritzema and The Jersey Sports Council’s annual dinner and awards evening is Gordon de Gruchy equal Happy Finalist” award went to due to take place on March 2nd and the JPA committee has second on 75 points. Dorothy Alf Le Masurier and his wife agreed to make three nominations: the European Men’s Triples de Gruchy finished fourth on Rosemarie won the “Most Team (Team Award); Mark Nicol (Individual Award) and Derek 74 points. The trophy was Patient Partner” award. The Hart (Lifelong Achievement Award). awarded at the club’s AGM club has also had a committee held at the St Brelade’s Bay re-shuffle. Gordon de Gruchy Hotel with about a hundred has stepped down as club members in attendance. The captain after two years and Carrefour cock-a-hoop Captain’s Prize for Special been replaced by Mick Rondel. Endeavour went to Haydn Meanwhile Eddie Cuthbert has become the new club chairman Chris Romeril, Maguire and there were four after Ken Vibert bowed out Carrefour PC special awards: the “I’ve Got after five years in the post. president was presented with the trophy for winning the Inter Club League at the JPA Magic Touch awards dinner. The club will represent Jersey in next year‘s Euro- Cup. This year’s competition reaches its climax in Saarbrüken, Germany this weekend. Clubs from eight nations are competing in the Champions League: Belgium, Netherlands, Germany, France, Italy, Sweden, Slovakia and . Haydn Maguire receives his award from Anagram Answers Gordon de Gruchy ALIENS APE LINE ….. Elaine Paisnel Making his mark Tony’s memory THE RED ARK ….. Derek Hart MR RICHER SOIL ….. Chris Romeril The final table for the 2017 Donations given in memory Liberation Pétanque Club of Carrefour president Tony SINCEREST CLICHÉ ….. Christine Eccles island ranking has been Lagadu have been put to PORN ESSAY … Ross Payne published. None too good use by Basingstoke CYDER GROUNDHOG ..… Gordon De Gruchy surprisingly Mark Nicol tops Hospital. The many RENOWNED CALLER….. Lawrence Rondel the list. He scored 3,000 donations from friends and ranking points. Geoffroy family have enabled the ACORN MILK ..… Mark Nicol Buffetrille was in second place hospital’s Critical Care Unit PLANT ITEM ..… Matt Pinel with 2337.5 points and third to replace the furniture in the HIS SENILE ERROR ….. Ron Le Herissier was Chris Romeril on 1737 relatives’ waiting room points which was very welcome.