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QUOTESFROMFOOTBALLTOURNAMENTS http://homepage.eircom.net/~odyssey/Quotes/Football/Tournaments.html #CONTENTS Euro2008Austria&Switzerland WorldCup2006Germany Euro2004Portugal WorldCup2002&SouthKorea Euro2000TheLowCountries WorldCup1998 Euro1996England:Football'sComingHome WorldCup1990Italia Misc #GHOSTSOFPASTTOURNAMENTS "IntermsofstorythegreatestnationinthehistoryoffootballisGermany.A WorldCupwithoutGermanywouldbelikeStarWarswithoutDarthVader." DavidWinner Germanfootballteamstraumatisedtheirneighbours.TheworstmemoryinFrenchf ootballhistoryisthedefeattoGermanyinthesemifinaloftheWorldCupof1 982.TheworstDutchfootballmemoryisthelostWorldCupfinalof1974,recent lymournedinabestsellingbook.TheworstEnglishmemoriesareprobablythede featstoGermanyin1970,1990and1996,summedupbythephrase"Thirtyyearso fhurt"intheEnglishfootballhymn"FootballsComingHome"...theyenteredthe lastWorldCupasperhapsthefirstteaminhistorybuiltaroundagoalkeeperOl iverKahn. SimonKuper,onthedeclineofGermany,"TheFinancialTimes" Penaltyshootoutstesttheabilitytobeatagoalkeeperfrom12yardswhileexh austedandwithtensofmillionsofpeoplewatching.Clearlythereisanelement ofluck,asinalmosteverything.However,measuredovertime,someplayersand countrieswilloutperformothers.TherearereasonswhytheEnglishdobadly.F irst,theyrarelywaitforthekeepertodivebeforechoosingtheircorner.Seco nd,theytaketheirkicksknowingthattheircountrymenhistoricallyloseonpen alties.WhenateamplaysataWorldCup,theghostsoftheirpastplayerssito ntheirshoulderswhisperingintheirears. SimonKuper,"TheFinancialTimes" WhenEnglandgetknockedoutofthisWorldCup,anancientritualwillunfold.P erfectedoverEnglandsprevious13failurestowintheWorldCupawayfromhome, itfollowsanalltoofamiliarpattern.Phaseone:certaintythatEnglandwillw intheWorldCup.Two:DuringthetournamentEnglandfaceaformerwartimeenemy .InfiveoftheirlastsixWorldCups,theywereknockedoutbyeitherGermany orArgentina.ThematchesfitseamlesslyintotheBritishtabloidviewofhistor y,exceptfortheoutcome.Three:TheEnglishconcludethatthegameturnedono nefreakishpieceofbadluckthatcouldhappenonlytothem.Four:Moreover,ev eryoneelsecheated.EveryrefereeopposesEngland.Hisdecisionsthatsupportt histhesisareanalyseddarklyandhisnationalityismentionedtoblackenhimf urther.Five:Englandareknockedoutwithoutgettinganywherenearliftingthe cup.Theonlyexceptionwas1990,whentheyreachedthesemifinal.Otherwiseth eyhavealwaysgoneoutwhenstillneedingtodefeatatleastthreeexcellentte ams.Six:Thedayafterelimination,normalliferesumes.Theoneexceptionis1 970,whenEnglandseliminationprobablycausedLabourssurprisedefeatinthegene ralelectionfourdayslater.Seven:Ascapegoatisselected.Thescapegoatisn everanoutfieldplayerwhohasfoughtallmatch.Evenifhecauseddefeatbymiss ingapenalty,heisahero.OnlyafteradefeattoBrazilisnoscapegoatsought, becausedefeatstoBrazilareconsideredacceptable.Eight:Englandenterthen extWorldCupthinkingtheywillwinit. SimonKuper,"TheFinancialTimes" AmajorreasonforBrazilssuperiorityoverEngland,forinstance,isthattheyc anselectthemostableplayersfromamong186millionpeople,whileweselectt hebestfromamong50million.Therelationshipisntasimpleonesomebigcountr iesdontplaymuchprofessionalfootball,whilesomesmallcountriesdowellbut itisstrongnevertheless.Tociteonestudy,69percentofthevariationinth estrengthofteamsinisexplainedbydifferencesinpopulationsize. DanielFinkelstein,"TheTimes" TheWorldCupisthebiggestfeastofnationalismontheplanet.Butitisalso, simultaneously,thebiggestfeastofnonnationalism.Wewantourboystowin, butatthesametime,wewanttofindbrilliance,beauty,wonder;strength,char acter,resolve.Andweadmirethesethingswhereverwefindthem,evenifwefea rthemasobstaclesinEnglandspath.ItistheessentialcontradictionoftheWo rldCup.Itisafestivalofthemoststridentandoftenghastlyjingoismanda celebrationofmultinationalism,multiculturalismandhumandiversity. Partisanshipisoneofsportsjoys.Allsportscanbeenjoyedinapureway,aqu ietway,forthesakeofthemselves,aswellasinaoneeyed,noisywaybecause wewantonesidetowin. AttheWorldCup,weswitchfromonemodetotheotherwitheffortlesscontradic tion.Forthreedaysyouareaprofessoroffootball,anaestheteatthebeautif ulgame,ascientistseekingnewspecimensofbrilliance,andthenonthefourth day,whenEnglandplayagain,youbecomeafrenziedsupporter,seeingaworldf illedwithimaginaryinjustices,happytowinbyanymeanspossible,untroubled bythoughtsofbeautyor,forthatmatter,justice.Andthenextday,youareba cktoanOlympiancalm,surveyingalloffootballspreadoutbeforeyou,seeking nothingbutperfectionperfectmatch,perfectdrama,perfectskill.Wecandot hisbecausewearehuman,whichmeansthatwehaveourbeingincontradiction.P atriotsforEngland,yes,butalsopatriotsforFußballstadt:Fußballuberalles. SimonBarnes,"TheTimes" ThereissomethingstrikingaboutAfrica.Itistheonlycontinentintheworld thatsupportsitsteamsasacontinentalthoughforsomestrangereason,BlackA fricadoesnotusuallysupporttheNorthAfricanteamslikeTunisiaorMoroccoi nquitethesamewayassubSaharanteams.SouthAmerican,EuropeanorAsiancou ntrieswilllargelysupporttheirnationalteamsintheWorldCupfinals.MostA fricanseventhosefromcountrieswhoseteamsarenotrepresentedrefertothep articipatingAfricanteamsinsuchtermsas"OurfirstgameisonFriday"or"Wh yarewelosingchancesforscoring?"TheWorldCupisnotonlyacollectiveAfr icaneffort.Itisalsoadeeplyemotionalandpoliticalevent.Itwillneverbe simplyanentertainingsportingevent.ForAfricans,thetournamentrepresents thenobleanddesperatestruggleofahistoricallydowntrodden,enslavedandimp overishedmantoasserthimselftodemonstratethathetoocountsontheworlds tage.ThatisthepsychologyandcollectivefeelingthataccompaniesanyAfrican teamintotheWorldCupfinals,particularlytheBlackAfricanteams. TimothyKalyegira,ofUganda's"DailyMonitor" #EURO2008(ALPINE) Itwasthecharmofthecompetitionthateveryonelookedbeatable,includingSpa in,whomighthavelosttoItalybutforanaccomplishedsavebyIkerCasillas. InitscapacityforpreservingdoubtEuro2008teasedthepublicbeforeSpainco nfirmedthattheyareateamapart.Cynicismwasdiminishedaspeoplesawatour namentinwhichItaly,FranceandGermanywerenolongersointimidating.Croati a,withawinoverJoachimLöw'ssideinthegroupstage,illustratedthathierarc hiescancrumble.Thetournamenthasbeenwonderfulyetwemayhavetopreserve thosememories.ThereappearstobeunanimityamongUefa's53cashhungrymember sthat,from2016,thereshouldbe24teamsratherthan16atthefinals.Thest ructurecanonlybeunwieldyandthequalitymustbedilutedfromitspresentpo tency.WemaylookbackinhorrorandappreciatethatEuro2008wastoogreata success.Excludedsideswantedtobepartofallthisatanyprice,evenifthat costcameintarnishingsoexcellentatournament. KevinMcCarra,"TheGuardian" CoupleOfBoresAtDeath'sDoor. TheSunafterFranceandRomanialabourtoa00draw AsIwrotebefore,theformatofthistournamentwiththetwohalvesbeingke ptapartuntilthefinalwasamajorblunderonUEFA'spart.Meetingteamsyo ualreadyfacedinthegroupstagejustonegameaftertheendofthegroupstag eisnotagoodidea.AndinGroupCwe'veseenexactlywhy.Wehaveabizarres ituationwhereitmaybeinHolland'sinteresttolosetoRomania.Doingsowoul dknockItalyandFrance(which,onpaperatleast,looklikemoreformidableop ponents)outofthetournament(and,becauseofthissillyformat,theNetherlan dswouldriskfacingoneortheotherinthesemifinals). GabrielleMarcotti,"SI" WhetherornotGermanywintheEuropeanChampionshipsfinalagainstSpainherei nViennaonSundaynight,mostGermanfanswontmindmuch.Othercountriessupport ershavebegunmakingthesamementalshift.Thisisanewstageinfootballhis tory... Footballisaboutemotions,andemotionsarenowstrongerinthepartythaninvi ctory,saysAlbrechtSonntag.Andforsponsorsitsmoreinteresting.Whatcanyoud owithateamlikein82thatfinishessecondintheworldbutcommandsnosympat hy? Thepointofinternationalfootballwasalwaysprovingyournationssuperiorityt hroughvictory.Butthatnowfeelsso20thcentury:footballasasurrogatefor war.Someothercountrieshavebegunedgingawayfromit.Italianplayersledby GennaroGattusoagreedbeforethelastWorldCupthatwinorlose,theywouldc onveyabetterimageofItalythancertainwhingeingItalianteamsofthepasth ad.AtEuro2008,Swedishfansdidntmindsomuchthattheirteamlost,butthat itplayedboringfootball.AndSonntagsayshisFrenchfriendsinAngerstellhi mtheywishtheyhadacheerfulteamlikeGermanys...Thebattletobenicestwil lonlyconfirmsuspicionsamongoutsidersthatEuropeanshavesuccumbedtoapec uliarmixtureofinnocenceanddecadence.ThoseGermanssecretlyhopingforatr agicdefeatonSundaynightwontmind. SimonKuper,"BeautifulLosers"(FT) DutchstrikerRuudvanNisterlooyistospendtherestofEuro2008standingon theoppositiongoalline.HollandcoachMarcoVanBastenmadetheboldtactical shiftafteritbecameclearVanNistelrooywasinvisibletobothrefereesandli nesmen.MeanwhileItalyhaslodgedaformalprotestanddemandingtheDutchshar ethesecretoftheir'invisibilitypotion'. SeenonTheDailyMash Everytwoyearsashowrollsintotownandcapturestheattentionofanation.I tsunjustifiedhypetingedwithnostalgiaandapantominevillainwhoonlyrevea lshimselfatthedeathengrossesviewerswhoadoretheshow'sstarsforninemo nthsbeforeturningonthemwhenthesummerrollsaround.Itrivals'BigBrother 'forcarcrashentertainmentexceptitinvolvespeoplewithtalent.Unfortunate ly,thisyear,theEnglandfootballcircusisclosed...Afootballtournamentju stisn'tthesame...WhentheencountersareasdullastheCzechsandtheSwiss ,aloomingEnglandcatastropheprovidesawelcomedistraction...Theirpresence in2010shouldbewelcomedpurelyfortheentertainmentvalueofanimpendingi mplosion.Oncetheydon'twinitofcourse. AidanO'Hara,reflectingonEngland'sabsence,"TheIrishIndependent" We'reinablissfulworld,wherepeoplewhoknownothingaboutfootballaren'ts uddenlytakenwithtalkingincessantlyaboutitjustbecauseEnglandisinatou rnament,there'snotediousfauxpatrioticfervorwhereEngland'sfatebecomesa metaphorforworldsurvival,thejingoistictabloidnonsensehasbeenminimized and,bestofall,we'vehadtoputupwithrefreshinglyfewcommercialswheref ootloosemultinationalstrydesperatelytoclaimpassionforourcountry,cultu re,nationalteamandgame.Yes,dearreaders,watchingEuro'08herehasmadef ootballfeellikeit'sone'shobbyagain,aninterestand,darewesayit,aspo rt,ratherthananoverhypedcommodity.We'reenjoyingitsomuchthatwemight evenmoveacrossthebordertoWales,whichneverqualifiesforanything. TeamLimey,coveringEuro2008fromEnglandforAmerica's"SI" #WORLDCUP2006(GERMANY) Ijustcheckedontheinternet,anditsaystheworldoutsidetheWorldCupstil lexists. SimonKuper,surroundedbysoccerjournalists,"FT" LearningtolivewithouttheWorldCupislikebeingjiltedbytheperfectgirlf riendfornofathomablereason. EdPower,"TheIrishIndependent" TheOlympicGamesdonotinanysensemakeacommunityoftheworld.Quitether everse,forthemostparty,peopleonlytakewhattheywanttoseeoftheirown nation.UStelevisionusuallyshoweventsAmericansarelikelytowin.TheWorld Cupisdifferent:itgivesusnotjustfootball,butraging,worldwidecontrove rsiesthisyearoverplayersfoolingthereferee,nottosecurejustafreekick ,butinordertogetanotherplayersentoff.Thousandsofmillionsofpeopleo fallculturesandreligionsprobablyhaveanopinionaboutwhathappenedtoWay neRooney.Whateverthetopic,theWorldCupcreatesaglobalfamilyoutofstra ngers,onethatispassionate,sympathetic,angry,hostile,engagedandjoyful, andfarmoreemotionallymeaningfulthananythingtheUNcouldeverachieve.It istheclosestethingtotheunificationofmankindthatwecanaspiretosoenj oyitwhileitlasts. KevinMyers,"TheIrishIndependent" Whichclub'splayershavehadthemostimpactonGermany2006?AdetailedFinanc ialTimesanalysissuggeststhatfootballersfromtwoclubsChelseaandItaly' sJuventushavebeenthemosteffective,withtheTurinsidejustpippingthe Londonersatthetopofthepile.Theanalysistookaccountofarangeofplayer contributions,goodandbad,suchasgoalsscored,assists,cleansheets,reda ndyellowcardsandinterventionsinpenaltyshootouts.Itincludedallmatches uptoandincludingthesemifinals62inall.Englishclubsfeatureprominen tlyinthetable,withArsenalfourthandManchesterUnitedeighth,inaddition toChelsea. DavidOwen,"FT" AvictoryforMachiavellioverNapoleon. DionFanning,onItaly'sfinalvictory,"TheIrishIndependent" Italy'sresponsecamelargelythroughcorners,butwhatcorners,AndreaPirlolo opingtheballuptohangoverthesixyardlinewherethebigmencouldattack itlikedolphinsleapingforfish. JonathanWilson,onItaly'sfinalequaliser,"FT" Agamenotofbeautybutofaterrible,exhaustingpower. RogerCohen,describingthefinalinthe"InternationalHeraldTribune " FranceItalywasn'tbyanystretchthebestgameofthetournament.Itdiddispl ay,though,thattheworldissomanicaboutthebeautifulgamepreciselybecaus eit'ssooftenanythingbutbeautiful.Asoccermatchisafrequentlyboring,o ccasionallytragic,andperiodicallytriumphantaffair,allcompressedinto90m inutes.Yesterday'sgame,andZidane'smomentsofmasteryandmayhem,displayed thesport'sfullrangeofemotions. RobertWeintraub,"SlateMagazine" "WethinkheeithercalledhimaterroristorasonofHarkis,"saidMokhtarHad dad,oneofZidane'scousinswhowithfriendsandfamilystudiedthepivotalsce neonabigscreeninthefamily'shomevillageAguemoune,260kilometers,or16 0miles,eastofAlgiers.TheHarkisreferenceisatermforcollaboratorsinth eAlgerianwarofindependencefromFrance,asevereinsultinthatcountry. DoreenCarvajal,"InternationalHeraldTribune",onthemysteriousins ulttoZidane "Itischeating,buttheyareItalians" WilliamGallas,ofFranceandChelsea "I'maman,andI'mtellingyouthatIwouldratherhavebeenpunchedinthefac ethanhaveheardthosewords.ButIheardthem,andIreacted." ZinedineZidane,onMaterazzi'sinsultstohismotherandsister Eventhoughitcouldhaveirrefutablydamagedhisteam,eventhoughitwasover thetopandviolentandkindofinsanewethinkit'soneofthecoolestthingsw e'veeverseeninasoccermatch.Weknowit'swrongtosaythat.Butit'strue. InternetblogDeadspinonZidane'smomentofmadness HowwasZidane'sheadbuttingtechnique?Impeccable.Expertsinselfdefenseand mixedmartialartssayZidane'sheadbuttwasaflawlessdemonstrationofthef orm.Hepositionedhisfeetclosetohisopponentandsteppedintotheblow,con tractinghisabdominalmusclestocurveintotheattack.Hewasalsocarefulto keephischindownasheapproached,whichhelpedhimlandthestrikewiththet opofhisheadasopposedtohisbroworface. DanielEngber,"HowtoHeadbuttlikeaPro","SlateMagazine" TheWorldCupbeginsnow.Eightteams,manoamano.Twomenenter,onemanleave s.WelcometoThunderdome.It'sgoodtobearthisinmindinafewmonths'time whenyoulookbackonthisWorldCup.Whoeverwinswillbeanointedagenius.Th ewinningplayerswillbecomehouseholdnames,theirfamewillfarsurpasstheir abilityorcontribution(thefactthatChristopheDugarryisrelativelyfamous tothisdayprovesthepoint).Andtheloserswillbechastisedasincompetents, ascowardsasmenoflittleworth...butrememberthedifferencebetweenwinnin gandlosingistinyand,in90minutes,anythingcanhappen. GabrielleMarcotti,preparingforthequarterfinals,"SportsIllustra ted" Italymusthavedreadedtheprospectofpenalties:theyhavelostallthreeshoo toutsintheirWorldCuphistory,whileGermanyalwayswinthem.Againsttheir nature,theythereforeresolvedtoattack,bringingondelPieroandCamoranesi, sothattheyendedupwithtwoforwardsandtwocreative. SimonKuper,onItaly'slatelatevictoryoverGermany,"FT" IslamistgunmeninSomaliakilledtwopeopleprotestingabanonwatchingtheWo rldCup.WitnessessaidthepairwereshotandkilledlateTuesdaywhensoccerf ansbarredbyIslamistsfromwatchingthesemifinalmatchbetweenGermanyandI talycomplainedattheprohibitioninthecentralGalgadudregion. AnAFPreport ThemostextraordinaryperformanceinthesemifinalcamenotfromZidanenorev enRonaldo,butfromLuizFelipeScolari,thePotuguesemanager.Scolariexpende dfarmoreenergyduringthe90minutesthananyofthemerefootballers.Hesta lkedthetouchline,lookinglikethelandlordofaparticularlyroughpubatchu ckingouttime,desperatetogetridofthedrunksbeforethepolicearrived.He alternatedbetweenseriousattemptstocontroleventsandfrequentgesturesof completedespair. MatthewEngel,"FT" InBraziltheverdictonScolarianditiscertainlyonethatdoesnotpreclud earecalltohisnation'scausethenexttimetheybelievetheyhavereacheda deadendisthatheisathisbestintheextremedemandsofbigtimetourname ntplay."Scolariis,webelieve,abettercoachforamonththanayear,"says aBrazilianinsider."Overalongerperiod,thingscangowrongwithScolari.He isverystubborn,andsometimeshecangobeyondlogicalarguments.Butthenwh enthebigpressureisonheisathisbest.WhenweassessScolariwesayheis boldandheisluckyitisafantasticcombinationatthislevelofthegame. "DavidBeckhamcouldrifleinanotherfreekick.AndwhatwouldBigPhildothe n?Maybehisgreateststrengthisthatlongagoweknewtheanswertothatquest ion.Hewouldgettohisfeetandhewouldroaragainsthisfate.Hewouldcome ferociouslyalive.Thechancesaresowouldhisteam. JamesLawton,"Scolari:TheTouchlineCommander","TheIndependent" "Zidanedeliveredthecoupdegrace,andyoucanalmostsaythatitwasagoodd eath.ThelastthingwesawwhilewewerestillaliveinthisWorldCupwasthe gallop,thedribble,theshotbyZidane." Spanishnewspaper"As",onSpain'seliminationbyFrance ThecreativityofZidaneandthedashofHenrymaybetheimageoftheFrenchte am,butitsheartisitsbackfourandthetwoveteranmidfielderswhoscreenit :ClaudeMakeleleandPatrickVieira. Peter,"InternationalHeraldTribune" PerhapsthemosttellingimagewasofBarcelonateammatesDecoandGiovannivan Bronckhorst,ofPortugalandHollandrespectively,whowerebothsentoff,endi ngthegamesittingnexttoeachother,twofriendslookingbamboozledastowha thadjusthappened. RichardMilne,"FT",afterfourplayersaresentoffduringPortugalv Holland "ThevictorybelongstoItaly,toGrosso,toCannavaro,toZambrotta,toBuffon, toMaldini,toeveryonewholovesItaliansoccer!Hiddink...lostallhiscoura gefacedwithItalianhistoryandtraditions...Hefinallyreapedfruitswhichh ehadsown!Theyshouldgohome.Theydon'tneedtogoasfarawayasAustralia asmostofthemarelivinginEurope.Farewell!" Jianxiang,ofChineseTV,revealinghistrueallegianceafterIt alyvAustralia PerhapsnomatchatthisWorldCupbetterdemonstratedthemodernconfusionover nationalidentitythanthemeetinginthegroupstageofAustraliaandCroatia. BothteamswerestuffedwithAustralianbornchildrenofCroatianemigrantsto Australia. PeterBerlin,"InternationalHeraldTribune" France'sformerstrikerYouriDjorkaeffwasrumbledonSaturdayaftertellingem ployersNewYorkRedBullshewasawayattendinga"familyemergency".Djorkaeff wasspottedinthecrowdattheFrancevBrazilquarterfinal. seenonBBCwebsite BlamingBrazil'scautiousfootballontheircoach,CarlosAlbertoParreira,iss implistic.ThecoachofBrazilisnotanomnipotentbeing,butmerelyaguywho sitsinthedugoutandwatcheshisplayersalongwiththerestofus.TheBrazil ianswhomeetFranceintomorrowsquarterfinalareprobablythemostexperienced footballteamever.BraziliansknowthatyouwinWorldCupsbyconservingenerg yforthelastfewmatches,oratleastforthepartyafterwards.Thatiswhyth eyhaventbeenputtingtheirfullweightintotackles.ForanyBrazilianstarter, thebiggestrisktohiswinnersmedalisnotdefeatbutinjury.Brazilsbenchis sostrongthatanyonegettinghurtmayneverregainhisplace. hasgrownsofrustratedthatagainstGhanaonTuesdayheactuallysto ppedsmiling.AGermanobserveroftheir30victoryoverGhanadescribedtheBr aziliansasHarlemGlobetrotterswhohaveforgottentogotoWeightWatchers.But theBraziliansknewtheydidntneedtocutdownonthecakestobeatGhana. from"TheFinancialTimes" Africa'shopesofathirdquarterfinalist,tofollowCameroonin1990andSeneg alfouryearsago,wereslimafteranunfavourabledrawsawthebestteams(Ghan a,IvoryCoast)pitchedagainststrongeroppositionthantheweakersides(Angol a,Togo,Tunisia). PhillipCornwall,"Football365" "Wehaven'tstartedpractisingpenaltiesyet." JurgenKlinnsmann,onapotentialknockouttievEngland "Thewaytoparadiseisnotlaidjustwithroses,butwiththornsaswell.Wepr obablyneededthistrial,sowecanrisefromthehumiliationandwalkevenfurt her." HrihoriySurkis,presidentofUkranianFA,aftertheirroutbySpain ThismorningUkraine'sdefenderVladislavVashchuksaidthatUkraine'shumiliati ng40defeatatthehandsofSpainwasnotthefaultoftheplayersbutwasdow ntothefrogs.Frogsoutsidetheteam'shotelinthesceniceastGermantownof Potsdamhadcroakedallnightbeforethegame,leavingtheteamtiredandouto fsorts,hesaid."Becauseofthefrogs'croakingwehardlygotawinkofsleep, "thedefenderexplained."Weallagreedthatwewouldtakesomesticksandgoa ndhuntthem." LukeHarding,"TheGuardian" Noveni,vidi,viciforVidic. Headlinefrom"TheIrishIndependent"afterNemanjaVidicisruledout "Ifwehadattackedthemfromthestart,wecouldhavescored.Wealsomighthav elostbyseveralgoalsbutatleastitwouldn'thavebeeninsuchacowardlyfa shion." OgnjenKoroman,afterSerbia&Montenegro(S&M)lose10totheDutch "Itwas10minutesofprobablythemostexcitingsoccerthatAustraliahasever seen." JohnAloisi,onAustralia'slatecomebackagainstJapan "Iwillslightly,nottotally,apologiseforthat.Everyoneinthestadiumcans eethereplaybutnotthecoach...That'swhyIwasinalittlescrumwiththose guys." GusHiddink,explaininghisaltercationatAustraliavJapan JusttellpeopleKarlRoveputthesoccerteamtogethersothatit'simpossible tobecompetitive.Yousee,theAmericansactuallyleadtheworldinsoccerplay ers,butwe'reheldinsuchlowregardoverseas,Rovemadethedecisionnottom akemattersworsebyplayingourstars.Andwe'veactuallygotsleeperCIAfunde dsoccerplayersontheMexicanteam,hencetheirbigwinoverIran. EmailseenonNationalReview'sblogsite,explainingUSteam'sperfor mance NosoonerhadthewordspreadaroundthewatercoolersthatTeamUSAactuallyha dachancein"your"game,theCzechRepublichadcrushedourhopesbyathreen ilcount.Worse,TeamUSA'smanager,BruceArena,andhisplayerswereexchangin gverypointedbarbs,whichisnotthewayofAmericansportsteams.Wemaylose ,butwegodowntotogether.TohearArenatellit,noneofthisisthefaulto ftheleaderhimself...Ifthat'showsoccercoachesreact,maybewedon'tknow yourgameafterall. BillCenter,withanAmericanviewofeventsin"TheTimes" WiththeDowJonesaveragedownover600points,factoryproductivityinadownw ardspiral,andworkplaceattendancedownbynearlyathird,expertssaytheU.S .WorldCupteam'sheartbreaking30defeatatthehandsofCzechRepubliconMo ndayhasbroughtlifeacrossthesoccercrazednationtoavirtualstandstill." WhathappenedinGelsenkirchenhasindeeddealtagrievousblowtothemoraleof theAmericanpeople,"saidPresidentBush,whohadpromisedhisconstituencya swiftandspeedyvictoryintheWorldCupthisyearandwhosepopularityhastak ena9percenthitsincetheU.S.team'sloss.Atpresstime,theU.S.teamiss cheduledtoplayItalyonSaturdayandGhanathefollowingThursday,andtheNat ionalGuardhasreportedmoderatecasualtieswhileattemptingtocontainhooliga nactivityintheninelargestU.S.cities. from"TheOnion" Poland:ThecurrentBaltimoreRavenssquad.Ostensiblyadefensiveteam,butwit houtanyrealdefensiveability.Shouldbeoffensivetowatch. England:LiketheNewYorkMets.Massively,ridiculouslyoverratedbytheirmedi a,alwaysinvolvedinsomesortofcomicdownfall,insaneinjuries,woefulmanag ement.Acarcrashwaitingtohappen,atwhichstagethelocalmediagoberserk. Switzerland:Nameanyboring,badNHLteamandthisiswhotheSwissare. TheBostonGlobe,previewingtheWorldCupUSAstyle "Whichoneofthesewillputusoutthistime?" captionunderneathphotoofWorldCupreferreesinSpanishsportsdail yMarca "Ideservedmorerespect.ApparentlyIamnotevenpartofthe30or40manlist .Idon'tknowwhereIamandIdon'tknowwhetherIampartofanyplansinthe future.SoIamofftoAustraliaforamonth.Iwilldosomecanoeingamongcro codiles,kangaroosandpenguins." France'sLudovicGiuly,takingacuefromRobertoBaggioonhowtohan dlerejection Togo'splayershavebeenwarnedtheywillbedroppedbycoachOttoPfisterifth eyspeaktoSouthKorean,ChineseorJapanesepress.JuniorSenayabr okethenewstotheAsianpressandsayshewillnotputhisplaceintheteama tjeopardytoanswerquestions. FromSkySports Paraguay'sRobertoAcunacouldfaceaFIFAbanafterheaskedaSwedishphotogra pheroutonadate.AccordingtotheDailyMirror,SwedishnewspaperDagensNyhe ters'photographerEmelieAsplundreportedtheveteranplaymakertoFIFAafterh easkedhistranslatorManuelHoffmantocallherintheearlyhoursofSaturday andinvitehertojoinhim.Asplundclaimsshewasoffendedbythelatenightc allandnowAcunafacesananxiousfateasfootball'sgoverningbodymeetstodi scusstheconsequences. fromFootball365 Itiswithoutquestionthefinesttimetobealive. TomDunne,lookingforwardtotheWorldCupinDublin's"EveningHeral d" AsIrelanddidn'tqualifyfortheWorldCupFinals,we'lljusthavetocheerpla yersfromothercountries,playerslikeMcBride,Kennedy,Cahill,Carragher,Don ovan,Dempsey,Rooney,O'Brien,Lennon,Milligan... AdforconveniencestoreSparseeninaDublinnewspaper ENGLAND,POORENGLAND EnglandwinningtheirquarterfinalinGelsenkirchenwillbethedividinglineb etweenwhatwillbeseenassuccessandfailureinthiscampaign. TimRich,settingthestageforEnglandvPortugal,"TheTelegraph" 12yardsofpain. HenryWinter,onEngland'spenaltydisasters,"TheTelegraph" ThereisalwaysataleofwoeeverytimeEnglandexitatournament.Itjustwoul dn'tbeEnglandwithoutthedramasofselfdestructionandthecrueltwistsoff ate,wouldit? DavidBrown,"NewsoftheWorld" Andhereweareagain.Gloriousindefeat.Thebravelosers.Missedpenaltiesan dmisfortune.Aren'tyoujustalittlesickofit? MartinSamuel "Englanddidntfailbecausewedidnthaveenoughgoodplayers.Manforman,wehad betterplayersthanPortugal,betterperhapsthananyofthesemifinalists.We failedbecausetheteamwasnotproperlyprepared.Lookateverysinglethingt hatwentwrong:thepenalties,WayneRooneysredcard,keyplayersunderperformin g,thepreposteroussituationwiththeWAGs,theinjuries.Eachwascausedbya fundamentallackofpreparation.Toloseinthemannerwedidisunforgivablean dcannotbeallowedtocontinueifwereseriousabouteverwinningamajortourna ment.Itisthefifthtimeineightchampionshipsthatwevegoneoutonpenalties .ThechancesofwinningaWorldCupwithoutcomingthroughashootoutaresmal l,sotonotprepareadequatelyisbothcriminalandamateur.WasRooneythinkin gcorrectlyunderpressurewhenhewasvisiblyfrustratedatplayinginaformat ionthatdidnotsuithim?No,becausehehadntbeencoachedtodothat.Walcotts asmashingplayer,buthewasawasteofakeysquadplace." CliveWoodward,England'sRugbyWorldCupWinningcoach,"FourFourTwo" "HeisthegoldenboyofEnglishfootball.Please,foryoursake,donotkillhi m.Youneedhim." SvenGoranEriksson,onWayneRooney'ssendingoff ToRooneyIcommendtheexampleofDiegoMaradona.Maradonagothimselfsentoff againstItalyintheWorldCupof1982.Hacked,tugged,harriedandniggledbey ondendurancebyClaudioGentile,Maradonalashedout,gotsentoffandArgentin awereout.Fouryearslater,Argentinathatistosay,MaradonawontheWorldC up.TheressomethingforRooneytoaimat. SimonBarnes,"TheTimes" Onthepitchforlessthan45minutesalltold,butprobablyscaredthelifeout ofmoredefendersinthathalfoffootballthananyotherEnglishplayerinthe wholetournament. Football365'sassessmentofAaronLennon "It'sashameEnglandaren'tplayingtonight,it'sthegameTheoWalcottprobabl ywouldhaveplayedin." GaryLineker,introducingthethirdplaceplayoff Erikssondeservestobepilloriedforreversingthelawsofarithmeticandsomeh owhavingEnglandswholeadduptolessthanthesumofitsparts.HowcouldJohn Terry,FrankLampardandStevenGerrard,whoareoutstandingweekin,weekout inthemostcompetitiveleagueintheworld,looksoordinaryagainstthealsor ansofParaguay,Trinidad&TobagoandEcuador?WhycantLampardandGerrardfunc tiontogether?WhatisthepointofPaulRobinsonkickingtheballfromonepena ltyareatotheotherwithonlyamidgetcentreforwardtoaimat?Answersona postcardtoTimidofTorsby,whosetacticsandteamselectionwereasflawedas atthe2002WorldCupandEuro2004. JoeLovejoy,afterEnglandloseagaintoPortugal,"TheTimes" Therehavebeenfewmanagerswhohavecontributedasmuchtotheirownteam'sdo wnfallasEriksson.IfyoutakethethreemajortournamentshehasledEnglandt hrough,Erikssonhasdoneprogressivelyworseastheplayersavailabletohimha vegotbetter.InGermany,fromtheselectionofthesquad,tothefinalmatcha gainstPortugal,thereweremistakeseverywhere.ErikssonaskingRooneytoplay onhisownwasanaccidentwaitingtohappen.Hewouldcomebackchasingthebal l,attempttowinitbackinhisownhalf,andsobecomemoretired,isolatedan dfrustrated. AlanHansen,"TheTelegraph" Thereisastrongargumenttosaythat,whenMcClarensitsdownonholidaytost artcomposinghisideas,heshoulduseapermanentpenandputGerrardandWayne Rooneyintheirbestpositions.TheyareEnglandstwoundoubtedworldclasstale nts.Coaxthebestfromthatpairbyplayingthemasattackingmidfieldplayera ndsecondstriker,respectivelyclosetoeachother,whichtheyenjoyandallth atmattersishavingplayerscapableofmakingthesystemworkaroundthem.Ther earemanylessonsfromtheErikssonregime,butperhapsthemostpertinent,at leastasfarasMcClarenisconcerned,isthatpickingthebestplayersisnogu aranteeofthebestteam. MattDickinson,"TheTimes" Asforallthesesupposedly"worldclass"players,acloserlookrevealsthisha rdlyisBrazil,circa1970.Infact,England'sproblemisthatit'sstackedinc ertainpositions(boxtoboxmidfielders,centraldefenders)andtotallythinin others. GabrielleMarcotti,"SportsIllustrated" Inaperfectworldeveryfootballteamwouldtrytoplayentertainingfootballa ndwinmatchesbut,asSvenGoranErikssonpointedoutearlierintheweek,ther e'snobonuspointsintheWorldCupforwinningitwithstyle.Winningitisal lthatcounts.Withsomanyentertainingtalents,suchasRooney,Gerrard,Lampa rdandBeckham,ofcoursethisEnglandteamcanentertain.ButIthinkwewillo nlyreallyseethemplaytothebestoftheirexcitingabilitieswhentheygoa goalbehind.Thathasn'thappenedtothemyetinthiscompetitionanditwillbe fascinatingtoseehowtheyrespondtothatchallengeifPortugalgoaheadtomo rrow.WesawitearlierintheweekwhentheFrenchfoughtbacktobeatSpainan dIamconfidentEnglandaremorethancapableofdoingthesameagainstPortuga l. KennyDalglish,"TheTelegraph" "Ifwehadonlyonesystemyouwouldask,'WhereisthePlanB?'Ifwehavetwo systemsyousay,'Wedon'tknowwhichwaytoplay'.Howdoyouexpectmetoansw erthat?Wehaveaclearvisionandweknowexactlywhatwearedoing." Sven,finallylosinghistemperwithareporteratanEnglandpressco nference TheTreatyofWindsor,signedwithPortugalin1386,maywellbethelongestlas tingallianceinEnglishmilitaryhistory,butitwillbesupersededbytheless formal,90minuteTreatyofGelsenkirchenbetweenScotlandandPortugal.Ifthe PortuguesewintheirWorldCupfootballgameagainstEngland,therewillbeimm ensejubilationnorthoftheborder.IfEnglandwin,however,theinfuriatedSco tchwillmostlikelygoontherampage,attackinganyconvenientEnglishtarget. TheknowledgethattheEnglishhabituallycheerforIrelandandScotlandwhent heyreplayingrealforeignersonlyseemstoinflametheCeltsevenmore.Onthef ootballfield,Scotlandhaslongpunchedwayaboveitsweightforanationofju stfivemillionpeople.ButthesadthingandImeanthatwithoutironyorsuper ciliousnessisthatthetideofhistoryisagainstthem.Isuspectthatneverag ainwilltheycompeteintheWorldCupfinals,whichisashame,ifonlybecause asanEnglishmanIhavethoroughlyenjoyedtheirpreviouscampaigns. RodLiddle,"TheSpectator" "TheItaliansareinScotlandsEuro2008qualifyinggroup.Threequarterfinalist sItaly,FranceandUkraineareinit." CliveTyldesley,withacheeringmessageforScotsonITV InrecentyearsthegreatestnightsofEnglishfootballManchesterUnitedvBaye rnMunich,LiverpoolvMilan,Middlesbrough'sstirringUefaCupvictoriesoverB asleandSteauaBucharesthavebeenbroughtaboutnotbyadoptingtactics,butb yabandoningthemalltogether.EvenEngland'srecentwinsoverArgentinaandUr uguaywereachievedwhentheteamhadcastasideallshowofstrategyandsimply bombedforwardincrazedalloutattack. HarryPearson,possiblytongueincheekin"TheGuardian" HowmuchwastheheatresponsiblefordrainingEngland'sperformances?Theskies overwereheavy,sultryandhumid.Butitcouldhardlyhavebeenwors ethanintheAztecaStadiuminMexicoCitywhenanEnglandteamwhohadbeenma lignedthroughoutthe1986groupstagesdemolishedParaguayandthenranArgenti nadesperatelyclose.Puttingonanextradefendertonursea10leadandhavin gyourgoalkeeperbookedfortimewastingagainstasidewithanattackledbyA gustinDelgadoishardlysendingamessageofintenttothefootballingworld. Inthestarkestterms,BeckhamforcedtheowngoalthatsawoffParaguay,hepro videdPeterCrouch'sdecisiveheaderthatbeatTrinidadandTobagoandhasnowd eliveredthefreekickthathastakenEnglandintothequarterfinalsofaWorld Cup.Onthesurface,hehashadafinetournament,exceptinalmosteverything else,Beckhamhaslookedcompletelyinnocuous. TimRich,"TheTelegraph" Englandprogressedalmostdespitethemselves.EventheintroductionofJamieCar ragherwith13minutestogo,partofEriksson'snowcustomaryattempttorecrea tethesiegeofMafekingintheEnglandbox,failedtodrawanchronicallyunamb itiousEcuadorintoasustainedspellofattacking. JonathanWilson,afterEcuadorgame,"FT" Timeandagainthetwoattackingmidfieldershavefailedtofunctionasadouble barrelledweapon.ThethoroughlyembarrassingopeninghouragainstTrindad&Tob agodemonstratedconclusivelytheirinabilitytooperateasthecentralduoint hemidfieldofa442formation,evenagainstsuchmodestopposition. RichardWilliams,onEngland'sduoofGerrardandLampard,"TheGuardi an" IfGermanyhavenotbeatenEcuador,finishingfirstisofquestionablevalue,al thoughitisunlikelythattheWorldCupwillwitnessarepeatoftheundignifie dscenesintheTigerCupin1999whenandIndonesiabeganattackingth eirowngoalsinanattempttofinishsecondinthegroupandavoidasemifinal againstthehostsVietnam. JonathanWilson,aheadofSwedishgame,"FT" You'llNeverWalkCologne. HeadlinefromTheSunaheadofSwedishgame CrouchingLion,HiddenOwen. TheGuardian,aftertheT&Tgame ThetruthisthatEnglandhavenorealstrategybeyondarelianceontheindivid ualqualitiesoftheirbignames,onthemostrudimentarytacticshandeddownth roughtheEnglishgameforgenerations,and,now,onanalmostrandominfusiono fyouthfulzest. RichardWilliams,"TheGuardian" Thereisalwaysacaseforboldnessinselectionandacaseforconservatism.An dnormallyvictoryvalidatesthechosencourse.ButifEnglandbeatArgentina5 0inthefinal,nothingcanjustifyEriksson'svacillatingincompetence.Should EnglandwintheWorldCup,itwouldglorifyeverythingthatisatrociousaboutf ootball. MatthewEngel,"FT" Moreaccuracyandlesstrajectoryisneeded. TheTelegraphsumsupEngland'slongballgame ThiswasaleadearnedsolatetherewasnoteventimetocallonOwenHargreave stoprotectit. JonathonWilson,afterEngland'slatedefeatofT&T,"FinancialTimes" "EnglandhavetwodaysofR&RinpreparationforT&T." GarthCrooks,lookingforwardtoEnglandvTrinidadandTobago ThisnewErikssonisaremarkablebeast,sarcasticinpressconferences,willing todefySirAlexFerguson,andpreparedtotakeshockingtacticalrisksevenif theydoreplicatethosethathavebeendeployedagainsthiminthepast. JonathonWilson,"FinancialTimes" JoséMourinho,theChelseamanager,hasoftenspokenoftheneedtobreakthelines thatis,topreventthedefence,midfieldandattackbecomingrigidstrataacros sthepitch.Englishfootballhasalwaysstruggledbothtodealwithplayerswho dothat,whileatthesametimebeingunabletodoitthemselves,whichisone ofthereasonsWayneRooneyissoimportant. JonathanWilson,"FinancialTimes" ErikssonblamedtheheatforEnglandslethargy.Whetherthatisanacceptableexc useforprofessionalathletesisopentodebateafterall,WorldCupsarealways heldinthesummer,andGermanconditionsdonotcomparewiththehumidityofJ apanin2002.ParaguaystrikerRoqueSantaCruzsjibethatEnglandmightwinthe WorldCupbutonlyifitsrainingwasaccurateenoughtosting.Evenintheopening halfhour,whenErikssonclaimedEnglandplayedwellfirsthalfgood;secondhal fnotsogood,onefeels,willbehisepitaphthereweretoomanylongballshit atPeterCrouch.Routeoneshouldbeanoption;notthedefault.AfterSaturday, morethanever,theyawaitthereturnofWayneRooney.That,orachangeinthe weather:Wayneorraineitherwilldo. JonathonWilson,afterEnglandstruggletobeatParaguay,"FinancialT imes" EnglandhavetwooptionsiftheywanttowintheWorldCup.Eithertheycanget Godtostopmakingithotinsummer,ortheycanlearntoplayfootballonhotd ays.TheEnglishfootballercannotgethismindaroundtheideaofwarmweather football.Ofcourse,hewillpourcontemptonforeignplayerswhofailtomaket heoppositeadjustment:helooksgreatinAugust,buthowshegoingtocopeatNe wcastleinJanuary?Butplayinginwarmweatherisalsosomethingthatsortsout themenfromtheboys. SimonBarnes,"TheTimes" 1:ThenumberofScottishfansstabbedinonSaturdayafternoonafterfi ghtingbrokeoutattheendoftheEnglandvParaguaymatch. 85:ThepercentageofallthemoneyplacedintheUKforParaguaytobeatEnglan dthatwasstakedinScotland. Football365'sMediawatchcrunchessomenumbers "We'dstillprefertobebombingGermany,butafter60yearsthere'sadawnings uspicionthatthosedaysaren'tcomingbackanytimesoon,andinthemeantimew emustrelyonsarongwearingmultimillionaireprettyboystokicktheArgiesf orus.We'renothappyaboutit,butwhatcanwedo?" NickHornby,onEnglandfans,in"TheThinkingFan'sGuidetotheWorl dCup" Myfondestmomentssofarhavebeenthefaintglimmeringsofthesortoffootbal lImusedto.TimCahillwinningagamebyhimselfforaruggedAustraliaside;T rinidad&Tobagokeeping11menbehindtheballandkickingoutatanyonewhomo ves,morethanhappytosettleforagoallessdrawineverymatch.Theislanders playpreciselythesortoffootballwithwhichImfamiliar.Indeed,Illbewatchi ngafairfewoftheirnumberinLeagueOnenextseason,atGillinghamandPort Vale,forexample.AndmuchaswetellourselvesthattheWorldCupisatitsfi nestwhentheunderdogwinsthroughagainsttheodds,theprofusionofredandy ellowcardsaccruedbyTrinidad&Tobagosuggeststhattheauthoritieswishtoe radicatesuchjoyouseventualitiesin2006;heroic,desperate,lastditchdefend ingandcrunchingchallengesarenotreallywanted. Butfootballwithoutthegrittytacklingendsupabitlikebasketball,asilky, rapid,unhinderedcanterfrompenaltyareatopenaltyareawhichiswhatwewit nessedinArgentinasbeautifuldemolitionofSerbia&Montenegro.Prohibitedfrom playingtheirnormalgameandpenalisedeverytimetheyattemptedto,theSerbs simplysuccumbed.Thepointofclosingdownplayersistoeventuallyputyourf ootinandharrytheoppositionattackersofftheball,butyourenotallowedto putyourfootinanymore,sotheclosingdownprocessbecomesalmostpointless. TheoldItalian'catenaccio'teamsofthe1960sand1970swouldnotgetpastth egroupstagenow RodLiddle >>QuotesfromBritish&IrishTVCommentators >>QuotesaboutEnglandmanagerSvenGoranEriksson #EURO2004(PORTUGAL) "Youneeddictatorshipsandpovertytoproducegreatfootballers." EamonDunphy,explaininghowrisingprosperitydoomedItalyandSpain toelimination "Thisnotjustaboutfootballhistory,itisaboutrealhistoryandwhatwenton 60yearsago." RuudvanNistelrooy,beingdiplomaticastheDutchfaceGermany "DasBoot" Britain's"TheSun",sadtoseeGermanyknockedout "I'mnottalkingtoyoupeopleeveragain.Noneofyoumayjudgemeasamanbec auseIammoreofamanthanallofyouputtogether." ChristianVieri,puttingtheItalianmediainitsplace WemakejokesofEnglandandtheirmissedpenaltiesbutitwouldbeabraveman whotriedonenow.Thishasgonebeyondajoke.Itisafailureofbothnervean dtechnique...Itleftuswiththebleakconclusionthatwhileapenaltyshooto utisagambleineverycornerofthefootballworld,forEnglanditisnothing lessthananinvestigationofthesoul.Andeachtimeithappens,thatsouliss omehowdiminished. JamesLawton,"TheIndependent" DavidBeckhammustnevergonearapenaltykickagain! Afterthreemissesinarow,thetruthdawnson"TheSun" ThegoodnewsisthatSaddamHusseinisfacingthedeathpenalty.Thebadnewsi sthatDavidBeckhamistakingit. Anonymousinternetjoke,asSaddam'strialbeginsduringEuro2004 "You'dbettertakePeterSchmeichel'sbeltandshoelacesoffhimbeforethingsg etanyworse." MarkLawrenson,asCzechRepublicgo30upagainstDenmark Evenifeternitybringsaniceage,andanewworldarisesfromthatage,andth atworldburnsdown,eventhenaLuigiorPietrowillsneakupbehindusScandin aviansandscream:"22!". SimonBank,writingintheSwedishpress "Deathneedsacause." ThomasSorensen,Danishgoalkeeper,asItalycrashoutbecauseofthat 22draw "IfIwasthemanagerofDenmarkandtheSwedishcoachcametomeandsaid'We'l ldoit',ifyouwerereallyruthless,you'dsay'Allright,we'llgofirst,we' llgooneup,then11'andthenwhenwewent21upwe'dstuff'em." EamonDunphy,withaplantooutwitpotentialcheaters,onlyonRTE "MachiavelliwasanItalian...Wasn'the,John?Whodidheplayfor?" EamonDunphy,terrifyinghiscopunditJohnGilesonRTE "IwonderwhyintheEnglishlanguageitscalledtheCzechRepublicwhentheyhav eanameoftheirownCzechi.Thatsoneforthepedagoguesoutthereamongthefo otballwatchingpublic." "SoarewecallingthemCzechinowGeorge?" GeorgeHamilton,terrifyinghiscopunditRayHoughtononRTE "WecouldbeinfortheLatviafinal.Haha." "Yes.Youneverknow.Strangerthingshavehappened." "No!Notheyhaven't." JohnToshack,terrifyinghiscopunditStepehnCullinaneonTV3 "Isthisreallywhatfootballatinternationallevelhascomedownto?Guyswho arebigandstrongmotoringupanddownthepitch.Isthisthebeautifulgame?I sthistheglorygame?IcouldgetintheGreeceteam.I'veplayedwithguyslik ethat.Idon'twanttoseethempickingupacup." EamonDunphy,bemoaningGreece'ssuccess,onRTE "Itusedtobethecasethatifyouwerefit,organisedandhadtonsofteamspi rit,itgotyoutotheFirstDivisionplayoffs.Nowitgetsyouintothequarte randsemifinalsofthemajorcompetitions.Ifyoulookatsomeoftheteamsi nthelasteight,you'vegotaveragePremiershipplayers." AlanHansen Ioncemadetheerrorofinformallyreferringtoasideschancesofwinningatro phyasbeingzerowheninfacttheirchancewas0.3percent.Unfortunately,Iw asreferringtoGreeceandthetournamentwasEuro2004.Ihavenotrepeatedthi smistake. DanielFinkelstein,in"TheFinkTank","TheTimes" "Weveabiggametomorrownight.Andofcourseitsabiggameforusaswell." "Yeah,letshopeeveryoneiswatching." "Youreverysarcastictonight,John." "ImnotbeingsarcasticBill.Itsveryimportant...ratings." "ThatsrightJohn." BillO'HerlihyandJohnGileshaveoneeyeontheratingsandoneonE ngland "Nodissertationsfromyouabouttattoosorwhatevertonight,Eamon?" "No,Bill,butIknowwhereBeckham'stattoocamefrom." "Nolibelonair,Eamon,please." "I'lltellyoulaterthen." BillO'HerlihyandEamonDunphyhaveoneeyeonBeckhamandoneonhis lawyers "ThatboyAbramovicwillendupbroke.HellbesellingprogrammesatChelsea.He' sonlygot6billion!" EamonDunphyisunimpressedwithChelsea'snewDutchsigningArjanRob ben TheinstanttheylostthepugfacedWayneRooney,theremaining10bestfootball ersinEnglandnolongerbelievedtheycouldstringtwopassestogether...Engla ndarenowawonderfulteamwhentheydaretobebutremainatraditionalBritis hteamatheart.Thenewfoundtechniqueandcontinentalmanagerareamask,whi chslipsatthefirstpanic.ThistimeitwasinducedbyRooney'sdeparture.One mangone:discardthegameplan.WhenEnglandgetaleadagainstgoodopponents ,youcanseethemthinking:"TimeforthebackstothewallDunkirkbattleculm inatingingloriousdefeat." SimonKuper,articlefor"FinancialTimes" AsSolCampbell'sgoalwasdisallowedbyarefereewith,presumably,eyesonsta lksinthebackofhishead,itwastemptingtoseeEnglandasabunchofcursed BillMurrays,doomedtoGroundhogDaytheirwaythroughalifetimeofcruelpen altyshootouts.Whatwasit,precisely,thatwasmeanttobeBeautifulaboutth isGame? KathrynFlett,sensingdejavuforEngland,"TheObserver" AviciouscirclemuggedEurope'smaestrosinPortugaloverthepastthreeweeks. Thesalarydemandsoflaudedplayersforceclubstostagemoregames,placingg reaterphysicalandmentalpressuresonleadingplayerswhoareexhaustedwheni tmatteredmost.ZinedineZidanefizzledoutatEuro2004.DavidBeckham,Thierr yHenryandRaulnevergotgoing.LuisFigohadonegreatgameinsix.Thestars werehiddenbehindthecloudsofacongestedcalendar.Withduerespecttothe Greekchampions,fewschoolchildrenoutsideAthenswererunningaroundplaygroun dsatbreaktimeyesterday,shouting:"IwanttobeamanmarkerlikeGeorgiosS eitaridis."TheywanttoemulateZidane,Figo,Beckham,HenryorRaul. HenryWinter,"StarsPayAHighPrice",in"TheTelegraph" Acountryof82mpeoplehasachievedthestatisticallyastonishingfeatofprodu cingzeronaturalgoalscorers. TheFinancialTimespickGermanyastheworseteamofthetournament "Helookslikeadreadlockedteapot!" IanWright,asEdgarDavidsdefendsthenearpostforHolland "FreddieLjungbergdesperatelywantstosuckinCocu." AndyTownsend,onITV,maybehecouldtrythatoneagain? "TestingtimesfortheItaliansandthebeautifulpeoplewhowatchthem." PeterDrury,watchingItalyvDenmark HalfadozentimesamatchaGreekfeignsnotinjurybutdeath;motionlessonth eturfforseveralminutes,havingfirstpeeredbeneathaprostratearmtoensur ethathisdemisehasbeennoticed. DavidMiller,reviewingEuro2004for"TheObserver" IftheybeatPortugalinSunday'sfinal,itwillbethebiggestGreekvictorysi ncetheTrojanWar,perhapsbigger. SimonKuper,writingin"TheFinancialTimes" "TheGreekcommentatorsaregoingmad,andthey'restandinginfrontofus.Sit down!" DavidPleat,forgettinghowtocelebrate,asGreecestunFrance "HowwouldyoustopThierryHenry?" "Iwouldkickhim...ifIgotnearenough." GaryLinekeraskspunditTerryButcherforadviceduringEuro2004 "Ihatethem,andyouknowtheworsething?I'mgoingtohavetospendeveryeve ningforthenextthreeweekspretendingthatIwantEnglandtowin!" The"BigImpression"doesScotland'sAlanHansenfortheirEuro2004s pecial Biggestmistakeofthetournamentfromeitherchannel:ITVallowingMickMcCarth ytococommentateontheDenmarkgame,notrealisingthathisvoiceist hemostpainful,gutwrenchingandhideoussoundevertogracethisearth. fromFootball365'sreviewofthetournament Footballtournamentsarelikeblackholes:evenifyoudontwatchthem,youknow somethingsafootie,becauseeverythingelseisdistortedbyitsgravitationalpul l...Thebestwaytoappreciatefootballontelevisionistowalkdownacityst reetwhenabiggameisonandlistentothesynchronisedroarscomingoutofth ebuildingsovertheemptypavement.Itgivesyouaverystrongsenseofalienat ion,ofnotbeinginvited,ofbeingalone. AAGill,"TheTimes" #WORLDCUP2002(JAPAN&SOUTHKOREA) "TheWorldCupcontinuestobefarandawaythemostexcitingthingthatsappeare dontelevisionthiscentury." AAGill,TvCritic,"TheTimes" "FootballersfromMontserratandBhutanarepreparingfortheWorldCupfinalto findtheworstnationalteam.ThegamebetweenthebottomtwoFifarankedteams willtakeplaceonSundayinBhutanthesamedayastherealWorldCupfinal. TheFifaauthorisedmatchisdescribedasacelebrationoffootball.Montserrat areranked203.Theiropponentsare202nd." Ananova.Com "Therehave,ofcourse,beenworsemomentsinEnglishhistorytheRomanConque st,theBlackDeath,theCivilWar,thefallofFrancein1940andvirtuallythe wholeofthe1970s,forexample." TheTimesattemptstoputEngland'sdefeatbyBrazilinperspective "Beckhamputstheworldtorights." HeadlineinTheTimes,describingEngland's10revengeoverArgentina "Afterwatchingyesterday'smatch,Iunderstandnowwhyallfourofmysonsare physicallyincapableofwatchingapenaltykick.For10secondsyesterday,David Beckhamwasthemostimportantmanintheworld." TomUtley,onthatpenalty,"TheDailyTelegraph" "ThePrimeMinisterpointedouttotheCabinetthatnothingwasmoreimportantt oEngland'sWorldCuparrangementsthanthestateofDavidBeckham'sfoot." OfficialspokesmanforTonyBlair,afterBeckhambreaksaboneinhis foot "Themancancarryoutamultivariablephysicscalculationinhisheadtocompu tetheexactkicktrajectoryrequired,andthenexecuteitperfectly.Thatiswh ythemanisafootballphysicsgenius." DrKeithHanna,UniversityofSheffieldSportsEngineeringDepartment "AfterthematchagainstGreece,IactuallysentDavidBeckhamaletter.Thatgo alwasthemostbeautifulthingIhaveeverseen." OonaKing,LabourMP,afterBeckhamscoresinthelastminutetosend EnglandtotheWorldCup "ThemoretimeIspendwithhim,themoreIrishIfeel." BobbyRobsononhisITVcopundit,AndyTownsend. "Whodoyouthinkyouarehavingmeetingsaboutme?Youwereacrapplayerandy ouareacrapmaanger.TheonlyreasonIhaveanydealingswithyouisthatsome howyouarethemanagerofmycountryandyou'renotevenIrishyouEnglishc**t ." RoyKeanetoIrelandmanagerMickMcCarthy,priortohisexpulsion "Iwouldn'tsendaplayerhomebut,ifIwould,itwouldprobablybethebestpl ayerintheworld." Satiricaltextmessage,combiningaCarlsbergadandtheRoyKeanesag a "Sometimes,Ithinkhethinkshe'sAlexFerguson." Ireland'sJasonMcAteeronRoyKeane'sattitude "IwillbesupportingGermanyandSaudiArabiainthecontestsahead." EamonDunphy,IrishTVpunditandfriendofRoyKeane "Icanbuyyou,Icanbuyyourhouse,yourfamilyandIcanbuythatmountainwe wererunningoninSloveniaduringourpreparations!" ZlatkoZahovictoSloveniacoachSreckoKatanec,priortohisexpulsio n "Thedefinitionofashirtisthatitisanitemofclothingwithsleeves.Nosl eeves,noshirt.Noshirt,noplay." KeithCooper,Fifaspokesman,onCameroonsdesiretowearvests. "Afatlittletoywithbulgingeyes." Italy'sLaRepubblicadescribesByronMoreno,refereeintheirdefeat toKorea "Hehastheappearanceofadepressedcow." LaStampaofItaly,withanotherdescriptionofMoreno "Theyaren'treferees,butthethievesofdreams." IlMessaggero,afteronetoomanydecisionsgoagainsttheAzzuri "Weburnrefereeslikethatatthestake." PaoloMaldinionGrahamPoll,afterPollrefereesItaly'sdefeattoCr oatia "NeverinthehistoryoftheWorldCuphavesomanyinjusticesbeencommittedag ainstoneteam." CorrieredellaSeraofItaly "ThatgentlemanwillneversetfootinPerugiaagain.Hewasaphenomenononlya gainstItaly.IhavenointentionofpayingasalarytosomeonewhohasruinedI talianfootball." LucianoGaucci,presidentofPerugia,onAhnJunghwanofSouthKorea "IamsorryforItaly,butIplayfortheSouthKoreanteam.TheItaliansonlyk nowhowtowin,nothowtolose." AhnJunghwan,formerlyofPerugia "Italy?Idon'tknowwhetherItalydeservedtogothroughornot,Ididn'twatch .IknowtheyaredisappointedandIamsadforthem,butIwassadtoowhenTra pattonileftmeoutofthe23.SoIwenthuntinginArgentinatogetawayfromt hings.Itakemyholidaysseriously." RobertoBaggio "I'mleavingtherefereetotheSouthKoreans.Wesacrificedathousandsoldiers heretodefendKoreaandnowoneKoreanhaskilled70millionTurks." HalakUlusov,TurkishFA,unimpressedwithSouthKoreanrefKimYoung Joo "KimYoungJoocouldnotevenrefereeintheTurkishseconddivision.Nowarefe reefromBeninwillbeinchargeofourgameagainstCostaRica.Iaskyou,doy ouknowwhereBeninis?Dotheyevenhavealeaguethere?" HalakUlusov,TurkishFA,again... "AwinwouldhaveaninfluenceonthenegotiationsovertheNorthernTerritories .Thisisthewayitusuallyhappensininternationalpolitics." ShintaroIshihara,GovernorofTokyo,asJapanfaceRussia(stilltech nicallyatwar) "IfyouputalltheGermanplayers,exceptKahn,inasackandhitit,youwould getsomeonewhodeservedit." FranzBeckenbauerassessesGermany'sperformanceagainsttheUSA "TheFatControllerrunsfromhisbox." PeterDruryofITVdescribesportlyUruguayancoach,VictorPua "PersonallyIwishtheU.S.welltoothoughasafriendIfeelobligedtotelly ouwhatI'msureyoualreadyknow,thatifU.S.A.winsoutrightitwillmeanAme ricanscan'ttravelsafelyanywhereexceptpossiblyandDublin." AnonymousBritishjournalist "TheworldwillhateitwhenAmericawinstheWorldCup." DanielHenninger,"WallStreetJournal" TherearejusttwothingsabouttheWorldCupthatpreventAmericansfromcaring :itinvolvessoccerandtherestoftheworld.WhenIhearthatTunisiaisplay ingBelgiumforthecrucialGroupHrunnerupspot,allIwantisamap.Theonl ywayAmericansaregoingtolearnanothercountry'snameisifitattacksus. JoelStein,"TheRestoftheWorldCup","TimeMagazine" "Itisthegoalofeverynationtobefree,independent,andwellintothequali fyingrounds,butthiscanonlyhappenwhenthePalestinianpeoplehavenewlead ers,newinstitutions,anda451formationutilizingatleastthreedefensive midfielders." SatireWire.Com'sversionofPresidentBush'sMiddleEastspeech "Thiswillbe,bysomemeasures,themostpopularinternationalfestivalinhuma nhistory.TelevisionandothermediahavemadetheWorldCupthemarkthatthe OlympicGameswerefortheAncientworld.Muchofthetribalenthusiasm,asitw asfortheOlympicGames,ispatriotic,ifnotchauvinist. Fromitsbeginningmorethantwocenturiesago,TheTimeshasrisenfarabovesu chnarrownationalism.Wearetheoldestinternationalpaperofrecord.Wesuppo rtunderdogsandjustice.Welookforwardtoenjoyingthemagicofsuchfootball ingstarsasMZidaneandSeñorVeron.WeshallenjoytheVikingdefenceofSweden andtheLatinfireofArgentina. Thereismoretofootballthanwinning.Englandinventedthebeautifulgame.It isbeautifulbecauseitcanbeplayedbyanybodyonastreetorabeachwithimp rovisedequipment.Itcombinesthebeautyoftheballetwiththecourageofbatt leandthemiracleofgraceunderstress. WecheerforsurprisesfromsuchunderdogsasandSaudiArabia.Weadmire thestatesmanshipofFIFAinsharingtheWorldCupbetweentwosuchhostileneig hboursasJapanandSouthKorea.Welookforwardtotriumphanddisaster,surpri seandcertainty,temperamentandstoicism,andtoacelebrationofsportthate xtendsfarbeyondlocalloyalties.Maythebestsidewin,andmaythatsidebeE ngland." editorialinTheTimes(ofLondon) "Itismadness.Itisgenius.TheWorldCup,afterall,electrifieseverywaking minute,andtryingtoabsorbitallismorethananyonebraincanhandle.Noe vent,noteventheOlympicGames,comesclosetomatchingtheimpactofwhatis, ineffect,thestagingofthreeSuperBowlseverydayforthe15daysthatcons tituteonlythetournament'sfirstround.Everyactismagnifiedbeyondreason. Nearlyeverymatchcomesweightedwithissuesbiggerthansports.Senegaltakes onitsformercolonialmaster,France,intheopenerandproducesoneofthespo rt'sgreatestshockers.England'sSwedishcoachtriestobeatSweden,Cameroon's GermancoachtriestobeatGermany,andIreland'sEnglishcoachtriestokeeph isteamfrombeatingitself.Twogamesinvolvednationsthatoncewenttowarwi theachother,ArgentinavEnglandandRussiavJapan,andtheentireeventisb uiltonarelationshipkeyedbythebrutalsubjugationofKoreabyJapaninthe decadesbeforeWorldWarII." SLPrice,"SportsIllustrated" "SomethinghaschangedforeverintherelationshipbetweenIrelandandEngland. Somethingthatwehavecherishedisnomore.Thefactofthematteris,thatwh enEnglandwereplayingArgentinaatthisWorldCup,Ifeltdifferentaboutit. IfeltlikeIwantedEnglandto...howcanIputthis?...tonotlose,andmay beevento...Ithinkthetechnicaltermis'towin'." DelcanLynch,"ThereIsMoreToLife",TheIrishIndependent "Themediaofeverynationonearthisunacceptably,disgracefully,triumphalist aboutthesuccessoftheirnationalteam.TosingleouttheEnglishiscomplete lysilly.EveniftheEnglishmediahasbeenunacceptably,disgracefullytriumph alist...abouttheIrishteam." DelcanLynch,"TheIrishIndependent" Inthestudio,DesLynam'slineupofpunditsresembledanevolutionarywallcha rtofhumanarticulacy,startingwithPaulGascoigneattheprimaevalendandpe aking,surprisingly,withGaryNeville.TheadmirableSirBobbyRobsonhasnotb eenknightedforservicestopunditry.TerryVenables,everversatile,shedmurk uponanysubjectwhichcamehisway.AsforGazza,callingonhimtoexplainfo otballislikeaskingafruitbattoexplainsonar.It'sunfairtoGazza,unfair tothefruitbat,andcertainlyunfairtousviewers. DavidBennun,commentingonITV'scoverageof"EnglandvDenmark","Th eMailonSunday" "TheheroSvenGoran,SonofEric,matchlessofmanagers,isnowturnedhisown matchmaker,masterfulatmatchplay.OfalltheheroeswhofeastinValhallaorV illaPark,orthegodsinOdinsHighburyHallorOldAsgard,heisthewisest.At nineskillshechallengesthem.Achampionatchess.Runesherarelyspoils.He readsbooks.HewritesandtalkslittletoLoki,theeviltelevisioncamera.Hes skilledatskiingandshootingandselecting,andmore!Hesmasteredmusicandv erse,andthewisdomoftheEast.Thatswherehisnextbattlelies." From'TheSagaofSven',composedbyTheTimes "Whatarewegoingtodoforthenextfouryears?Inameaninglessuniverse,how arewesupposedtogoonlivingwithouttheonethingthatmakesusawareofou rcommonhumanity?" DeclanLynch,"TheIrishIndependent" "C'estlavie." RioFerdinandtriestowintheEnglishsquad'srandomFrenchphraseco mpetition #EURO2000(HOLLAND&BELGIUM) "Mypresencekeepsthelinesmenextremelybusyforthewhole90minutes." FilippoInzaghi,engagedinarunningbattleofwitswithofficials "IdontknowthewordsofthenationalanthembutIenjoytheTurkishcultureand thefood." MuzzyIzzet,ofLeicesterCity,EnglandandTurkey MoreEuro2000quotesfrom"It'sUpForGrabsNow". #WORLDCUP1998(FRANCE) "ThathappenedtousatNewcastleinaplayoffagainstGrimsby." KevinKeegan,wins'mostparochialcomment'ofWC98forthislineinrefer encetoDavidBeckham'ssendingoffvArgentina "Icanonlyseeoneteamwinningthisgameandthat'sEngland.IhopeIamnott emptingprovidenceinsayingthat..." KevinKeegan,with5minstogo.FinalScoreRomania21England. "Oneisnotamusedatthat." ReportedcommentsofQueenElizabeth,asSolCampbell'sgoalagainstA rgentinaisdisallowed "It'smenagainstboys.No,it'sGODSagainstboys!" CliveTyldesley,onBrazilvMorocco "Threeredsandtwoyellows;StephenHendrywouldbepleasedwiththat..." ChrisWaddle "Evenifwelose,wewilltaketothestreetswe'lljustchant:'DeathtoAmeric a'instead." 16yearoldAmirKhosropreparestowatchtheIranUSAmatchathomei nTeheran "IspentfouryearsatMillwallsoI'msurethatspreparedmeforwhateverhappe nsonSunday." USkeeperKaseyKellerlooksforwardtotheIranGreatSatanclash "It'sthemostimportantgameinthehistoryofhumanity." AlexiLalasbecomesthefirstAmericantounderstandsarcasm "WinningtheWorldCupisthemostbeautifulthingtohavehappenedtoFrancesi ncetheRevolution." EmmanuelPetit "We'renotsendinganyoneouttotheairporttomeethim.IfIdidgoitwouldb etothroweggsathim.But,nowearenotsendingoutanyonetotheairport." UnnamedSouthKoreanFAofficialonthereturnofsackedcoachChaBum Kun "Theylost30,buthadFrancehadevenanaveragelycompetentstriker,itcould andshouldhavebeen50orworse.Guivarc'h,weigheddownbyhisapostrophe,m issedthreesittersandDugarryanother." MatthewNormandescribestheWorldCupFinalonSoccernet.com "Mysoccerbootsandaninflatabledollbecauseamonthwithoutawomanwillbe difficult." BelgiandefenderEricDeflandre,askedbyaFrenchnewspaperwhathew ouldbetakingtothefinals. "Itwasreallymeantasajoke." Deflandreagain.Hmm...thefirstBelgiantounderstandhumour? "Itisasiftheyhavebeensignedupastextiletesters." SeppBlatterontheplagueofshirtpulling "Itmustbepossibletofind30excellentfootballplayersamong80millionpeop le." GermanFApresidentEgidiusBraunonrebuildingthenationalside NorwaybeatBrazilwhobeatChilewhodrewwithItalywhobeatNorway.Therefore clearlyNorwayareamuchbettersidethanNorway. SteveJones...theofficialSteveofWC98,rec.sport.soccer Biliccollapsedasifhe'dheardHowardKendallwasbackinchargeofEverton. Onereporter'sviewofSlavenBilic'sdiveintheWCSemi IwasnotcaptainoftheFrenchsideformyownbenefit,itwasforthegloryof thecountry,sotherewillbenoonehappierthanIifFrancewintheWorldCup MichelPlatini'sresponsetoaquestionaskinghowhefeelsnowthatthe presentFrenchsidehassurpassedhisteamofthe80s IfIspendthewholeofthisweekthinkingaboutBrazilandalltheirgreatplay ers,IwouldprobablybeterrifiedbyFriday. PeterSchmeichelexplainswhytheDanesarerelaxingaheadoftheirWorl dCupquarterfinal Theyleavetheirsectionofthegroundcleanerthanitwaswhentheyarrived. AFIFAofficialonJapaneseandKoreanfansattheWorldCup "ItsnotexactlyClubTropicanaandyoualwaysgetalotofcarlesswhispersi nfootball." GarethSouthgatewinsthe"Getthetitleofapopsongintoyourreply" competetitionamongtheEnglandsquad "Myfirstthoughtwashehadproducedthewrongcolourbymistake." MortenWieghorstofDenmarkonhissendingoffagainstSouthAfrica. "Whatmakesmelaughisthattheywerelosing10,theyhad10menbehindtheba llandtheyexpectedustocomeforward.We'renotasstupidastheotherteams theyplayed." PaoloMaldini,afterItaliabeatNorway10 "Singwhenyou'rewhalingYouonlysingwhenyou'rewhaling." Scotlandsupporters'chanttotheirNorwegiancounterparts "Nofootballteamwillwinthistournament.Thistournamentwillbewonbythef acelessempiresofcorporategreed.TheJulesRimettrophyhasbecomehijackedb ytheworldofbigbusinessbastards,soldtotheTVnetworksofSatan.Therewi llbeafinalonJuly12th.Itwillhavenosoul.ItwillbebetweenNikeandSn ickers." RTE's"ApresMatch"team'do'EamonDunphy AsafootnotetotheWorldCup,itseemsinretrospectthatIrelandwasfortunat einonerespectinhavingnopartoftheproceedings.Oneofthelinesmenfort hefinalwasamemberoftheWestMidlandsPolice. DeclanLynch,inIreland's"SundayIndependent" "Thenightbeforetheopeningmatchofthe1998WorldCup,theholdersBrazilag ainstScotland,Iattendedahugepartyin.Thehighlightofthenightwas SirSeanConnerytellingabout400welloiledfootballfanstoshutupwhileFa ntasyFootball'sStattoreadoutsomespreadbetmarketsforthetournament:ama zingly,theydid." RoryBremnerrecallsaWorldCupmomentin"TheTimes" #EURO1996(ENGLANDFOOTBALL'SCOMINGHOME) "Whydidn'tyoujustbeltitson?" GarethSouthgate'smotherreflectspubliclyonherson'spenaltymiss. In1996TerryVenableshadaplanforEngland.Hecalledhistacticalinnovation 'TheChristmasTree'.Thistreeinvolvedtheteamliningupinapyramidstruct urewhichreachedapointwithalonestriker... Afteracoupleofdowdyperformances,thepressdecidedtheydidn'tliketheChr istmasTree.Itbecameanationalcrisis.Thenewspapersmadetheirfeelingscle arand,justbeforetheEuropeanChampionshipbegan,Venablesannouncedthathe wouldn'tbeputtinguptheChristmasTreeagain.Allwentwellinthechampionsh ip,particularlyontheeveningwhen,facingthenationwhichheheldresponsibl eforallthatwasgoodinmodernfootball,Venables'EnglandtookaparttheDut ch.TheEnglishwon41withaperformancethatwasskilful,controlled,fluida ndruthless.ButVenableshadasecret.AgainstHollandheputthetreeupagain .EnglandplayedinVenables'preferredformation,withonlyonestrikerandple ntyofmencomingfromdeeperpositions.England'smanagerdidn'tspeakofitin pressconferences,hedidn'tcrowaboutitafterwards.Hedidn'tsayaword.Bu thetookdelightthatnobodyhadnoticed. DionFanning,inIreland's"SundayIndependent" #WORLDCUP1990(ITALIA'90) "Maradonaandtenothers." ArgentinemanagerCarlosBilardo,announcinghisteambeforethetourn ament "ItmaybethatIammarkingMaradonaintheopeningmatch.Weknowallabouthi m,buthedoesn'tknowanythingaboutme." CharlesNtamark,ofCameroon,beforeCameroonstunArgentina10 "Comeonyoublacksingreen!" EnglandfansturnIreland's"boysingreen"chanttowardsCameroon "WhenitistheEgyptians'sturn,theymaythinkbacknostalgicallytothedays whenallthatinflictedthemfromtheheavenswerefrogs." DavidLacey,writingin"TheGuardian",asIreland'slongballstylee arnsadrawvEngland "IhaveGaryLineker'sshirtupinmyroomandithasonlystoppedmovingnow." MickMcCarthy,withatrophyafterIrelandvEngland "IthinkthegoalkeeperwentforthesodofgrassCaskickedastheballbobbled underhim". MickMcCarthy,afterTonyCascarinofindsanovelwaytodistractthe Romanian'keeper "You'vegottobelievethatyou'regoingtowinandIbelievewe'llwintheWorl dCupuntilthefinalwhistleblowsandwe'reknockedout." PeterShilton #MISC ThelinesmanwhosawMaradonascorehisinfamous'HandofGod'goalagainstEngl andin1986saystherefereewasan"idiot"toallowit.BulgarianBogdanDotche vaddedtheTunisianofficialwas"morefittoherdcamelsinthedesertthanta kechargeofaWorldCupgame." from"TheSun" 1.Almostalloftheplayershaveextremelyhotwives...baldFrenchgoalkeeper FabienBarthezwasmarried,untillastyear,torainbowhairedsupermodelLinda Evangelista.Thinkaboutthatasyouwatchhimflaphistexturedglovesandbark inaudibleinstructionsatateammate500yardsaway. 2.RememberthatColombianguywhoscoredtheowngoalinthe1994WorldCup?Du de,theykilledhim.That'showmuchthismatters.It'slifeordeath,baby.Ser iously. 3.Barthezincluded,everynationalteamgoalkeeperiscompletelyinsaneandli abletostartdribblingtheballsuicidallytowardstheenemygoalatanymoment . 4.Someonemightscore. from"WhyToWatchTheWorldCup",inAmerica's"GearMagazine"