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Rhetorical Meaning-Making Within Intimate Encounters and Their Discourses at the Macro, Meso, and Micro Levels

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University of Wisconsin Milwaukee UWM Digital Commons Theses and Dissertations August 2020 'Would You Say You Had Sex If...' Rhetorical Meaning-Making Within Intimate Encounters and Their Discourses at the Macro, Meso, and Micro Levels Megan Orcholski University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee Follow this and additional works at: https://dc.uwm.edu/etd Part of the Gender and Sexuality Commons, and the Rhetoric Commons Recommended Citation Orcholski, Megan, "'Would You Say You Had Sex If...' Rhetorical Meaning-Making Within Intimate Encounters and Their Discourses at the Macro, Meso, and Micro Levels" (2020). Theses and Dissertations. 2571. https://dc.uwm.edu/etd/2571 This Dissertation is brought to you for free and open access by UWM Digital Commons. It has been accepted for inclusion in Theses and Dissertations by an authorized administrator of UWM Digital Commons. For more information, please contact [email protected]. ‘WOULD YOU SAY YOU HAD SEX IF…’ RHETORICAL MEANING-MAKING WITHIN INTIMATE ENCOUNTERS AND THEIR DISCOURSES AT THE MACRO, MESO, AND MICRO LEVELS. by Megan Orcholski A Dissertation Submitted in Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree of Doctor of Philosophy in Communication at The University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee December 2020 ABSTRACT ‘WOULD YOU SAY YOU HAD SEX IF…’ RETORICAL MEANING-MAKING WITHIN INTIMATE ENCOUNTERS AND THEIR DISCOURSES AT THE MACRO, MESO, AND MICRO LEVELS. by Megan Orcholski The University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee, 2020 Under the Supervision of Professor Dr. Leslie Harris, Ph.D. This dissertation advances a deeper understanding of the rhetoric of intimate encounters by analyzing meaning-making practices at the intersections of sex, sexuality, and sexualized violence at the macro, meso, and micro levels. The object of my analysis is discourse about sex, sexuality, and sexualized violence, but this analysis also has implications on understandings of how corporeal rhetorics, or communicative meaning within bodies, are operating in moments of intimate encounters. Throughout my chapters, I interrogate how normative scripts around sex are constructed, disseminated, and perpetuated, how these normative assumptions impact intimate encounters and their connected public discourses, and how these normative assumptions are problematized by the existence of practices outside of these norms, such as queer sexuality. Woven throughout all of the chapters is the exploration of the connection between normative discourses and violence. Ultimately, this research further explores how power operates across the macro, meso, and micro levels, highlighting how meaning-making is connected across these levels, and argues to further recognize intimate encounters as a place of rhetorical significance. ii Dedication To anyone who may need these words, these thoughts, this work. You and your experiences matter. iii TABLE OF CONTENTS Abstract ......................................................................................................................................................... ii Dedication .................................................................................................................................................... iii Table of Contents ........................................................................................................................................ iv Acknowledgements ...................................................................................................................................... v Chapter 1: The Intersections of Sex, Sexuality, and Sexualized Violence ............................................... 1 Chapter 2: Methodologies and Theories for Exploring the Rhetorical Complexities of Intimate Encounters and Their Discourses............................................................................................................. 35 Chapter 3: Legislating Sex: Definitions and Cultural Understandings ................................................... 61 Chapter 4: The Babe.net Controversy: The Emotional Habitus of Sex and Sexualized violence ..... 102 Chapter 5: Would You Say You Had Sex If… You are Queer? ......................................................... 151 Appendix A ............................... 184 Appendix B ............................... 184 Appendix C ............................... 185 Appendix D .............................. 186 Appendix E ............................... 188 Chapter 6: Reflections, Implications, and Applications ........................................................................ 195 Bibliography .............................................................................................................................................. 206 Curriculum Vita ........................................................................................................................................ 222 iv ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS You've been so kind and generous I don't know how you keep on giving For your kindness I'm in debt to you And I never could have come this far without you For everything you've done, you know I'm bound I'm bound to thank you for it -Natalie Merchant Writing a dissertation is hard. Sure, this experience has also been worthy, educational, enjoyable, and rewarding. But these benefits exist alongside the difficulty of trying to produce something of this magnitude. This process—the entire graduate program, including writing the dissertation—has required so much support from others. This is the place I get to acknowledge that support and celebrate the amazing network that has helped me make this dissertation and degree a reality. Translating gratitude onto the static page often involves a grieving process for me, as there is a loss of the expectations and possibilities that exist in my imagination. I know my words will not do these folks justice, and I am worried I will leave people out. But the attempt is necessary. Please know that my words can only do so much, and for those of you who have had any impact on me at any point in this journey, you are important and mean so much to me. Before I begin thanking the numerous people who helped make this dissertation possible, I want to hold space for how this dissertation came to be. Before being accepted to Milwaukee, I was rejected 12 times from 11 different schools (one rejected me twice!). There were times that it was tempting to wonder if getting a PhD was the right choice for me. But in reality, I am very grateful for those places recognizing that they were not a good fit for me. As with everything I do, I wanted to enjoy graduate school. I am proud of myself for cultivating the necessary energy and people around me to be able to find this program, get in, and finish it. I want to honor how much I have grown and fought for this achievement. I’m proud of myself for developing coping mechanisms when things got very hard. I’m proud of myself for going to therapy when graduate school became v too much for me. I am proud of all the times I stood up for myself. I am proud of myself for all of the times I turned to others when I needed help. I recognize myself as a person to be acknowledged, not as a way to glorify myself, but rather to contextualize myself as one of the many people who made this possible. The person who has had to be the most supportive because of physical and emotional proxemics is Matthew Collie. When you ask Matthew to do something for you, he will often respond with the phrase, “Of course.” This simple response is a beautiful metaphor for how Matthew willingly gives his support, which manifests in both large and small ways. While he has cooked food, done dishes, rubbed my back, and reminded me frequently that I am smart and pretty, he has also moved twice for my career, both times having to find new jobs. He is openly proud of me, never intimidated by the social characteristics of our relationship that cause problems for others. For as straight and logical as he is, he does such an amazing job of fostering my loud queerness. He holds my shoes while I race off to do something he wouldn’t do. He has so much faith in me that sometimes it’s even difficult to explain to him that things are hard. He believes I am capable. He knows I will get things done. He knows I will achieve what I set out to. There have been times in this process that I have seen more belief in his eyes than I felt in my own body and that is an amazing feeling—to have a partner that so believes and supports you that you are able to turn to them to reinvigorate your faith in yourself. Matthew, thank you for the endless amount of time you have listened to me talk about this research. Thanks for always being willing to process ideas and listen. Thanks for years of understanding when this work took me away from chores, from responsibilities, from us. Thank you for the family we have created (the cats have been good moral support, but they were terrible editors). Thank you for being there and supporting me in your strong, quiet way. vi I have often made the joke that Dr. Leslie Harris is the reason I was rejected from so many doctoral programs because she is the only person who could possibly mentor me through a PhD program. Leslie defies what an advisor is. Her door was always open to me, and she was always there when I needed her. She has never torn me down in order to make me stronger—I honestly don’t think she’s capable of doing so. Leslie is a humble supporter who underestimates her own brilliance. Whenever she couldn’t understand my ideas, she would tell
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