VaYeitzei 5767

I Don’t Deserve This Much

Upon the birth of her fourth son Yehuda, our matriarch Leah said, “This time I will thank Hashem” (Breishit 29:35). Rashi (Rav Shlomo Yitzchaki, the grandfather of all commentators, 1040-1105, France) quotes the explanation that Leah was describing her now having more than her share of children. It was known that Yaakov would have 12 sons and therefore each of the four mothers should give birth to three sons. Once Leah had a fourth son, she thanked G-d for giving her more than her share. But why was this outlook of Leah’s-that she had more than her share and therefore wanted to thank Hashem-so impressive. Would it not be more impressive to thank Hashem for feeling one has a fair share instead of more than a fair share? Once a person has received more than a fair share, there is even more to be thankful for, and it should be less impressive when one offers thanks to Hashem?! Rav ( at the Mir in ) explains that the praiseworthy aspect of Leah’s actions was that she even thought, “I have received more than my fair share. This was not coming to me.” Because people seem to naturally feel that no matter what we receive, no matter how much we have- we deserve it. No matter how well things are going-“This is exactly the way it ought to be. I deserve all of this. Things should not be any other way.” Because we have this attitude, we automatically become very bothered when big things are not exactly the way we would like them to be. What is truly praiseworthy, though, I thinking, “I really don’t deserve what I have! I am so blessed that Hashem gave me so much more than I really deserve!” For the last ten years of his life, Rabbi Shimon Schwab (Rav of the German Jewish community in Washington Heights, , 1908-1995) was confined to a wheelchair because his legs were extremely weak. His grandson, Nosson Schwab, once asked him, “It has been years since you have been able to walk. Yet, Oma (grandmother) says that you have never complained about it. How can you maintain a serene smile on your face when you are so restricted?” Rav Schwab smiled and answered, “Imagine that a wealthy man lent you a million dollars and let you keep it to use as you wished for seventy years! After the seventy years he told you that he wanted a hundred or a thousand dollars back. Would you be angry with him? Could you be angry with him? He gave you the opportunity to use the gift for so long, he is entitled to take any part of it back whenever he wants. My feet were a gift from Hashem and He has the right to take them back. I am not my feet. They are not my assets. Their loss is nothing more than an inconvenience.” Rabbi Schwab realized that everything he had was a gift from Hashem, and therefore was grateful for everything he had.

Shabbat Shalom,

Shuki

The story can be found in Reflections of the Maggid, pg. 264, by Rabbi Paysach Krohn.