VOLUME 6 NUMBER 3 JUNE, 1995 TH I[rIG '11' ST FE
THE OFFICIAL NEWSLETTER OF THE U.S.S. KITTY HAWK NCC 1659 A VIEW FROM THE CATBIRD SEAT By J. F sher
We are mailing this newsletter hundred counties of the state. STARFLEET members are out so that everyone will know that Together we picked up over encouraged to join or renew. It is we moved the July meeting from the 2,100,000 pounds of litter! through STARFLEET Academy that 1st to the eighth. We are combining Please check the calendar you become an officer and hold rank the meeting with the party at Jeff elsewhere in the newsletter for on board the Kitty Hawk. Habrych's club house. Meeting at 5 scheduled meetings and events we are Applications are available, please ask p.m. followed by the party. Bring sure of. We did not go to Kennedy for one. When you attend side dishes, drinks, etc. as Jeff is for the launch and I guess it is a good conventions, you can often get a serving the main dish. Also, bring thing; as of this writing STS-71 is discount as a member of your swimsuit if you like to swim. still sitting on the pad. We will try STARFLEET. The map showing the location of to schedule another trip for a later We are at the mid-point of the Jeff's clubhouse is at the back of the launch when more people can go. year and we do not have many plans newsletter. Check the schedule listed by the yet for the second half of the year. There is a new STARFLEET Chief Engineer. Let him know what We have not set a date for our Academy application, so if you need is possible for you. Halloween party as that coincides one please let me know as I am We would like to thank all of with the Charlotte convention. No having them copied and they will be those persons who went to the Duke plans have been made for other available at meetings as well as by Children's Telethon and helped out. activities in the fall. If you have a mail. Remember, you have to buy We were very well received and suggestion, please come forward vouchers again to attend one of the appreciated. Almost everyone got with it. We have done so many schools. some air time, the food selection was things we could use some new ideas. Highway cleanup. June was a much better than in past years and the With a view to the future, rather poor month for attendance at T.V. talent were very friendly. please try to attend the July meeting this event. Diana, Elaine and I were (Security note: Keep an eye on P0/2 and party, especially if you are a the only ones to show up on the Woolley.) We hope even more of current member of STARFLEET. second Saturday, and we only did you will be inclined to participate Our attendance at meetings has half of the stretch. The third next year. slacked off this year and we need to Saturday, only Elaine showed up and Also, we did pledge and pay get it back up. There is food there! she did the remaining half by our donation of $250.00 to Duke. Further, when we make decisions herself. The next scheduled cleanup Now would be a good time to get the and plans, it is far more helpful if a is for August 5th at 9 a.m. The more jump on next year by starting to save majority of the crew makes them. So people that show up the quicker the your change for the Duke jar. By the come on out and let's have some fun! job is finished. way, the telethon raised over Speaking of fun, not many By the way, we received $1,483,000.00! Congratulations on showed up for the putt-putt game but another certificate of appreciation a job well done! we had fun anyway. Remember, this from the Department of For your information: all of the is not supposed to be all work. We Transportation for our efforts this DSA's that the Kitty Hawk and her probably do more civic work than spring during "The Great Trash crew members receive are written up any other ship in STARFLEET. We Bash". I haven't found a place to in the monthly memo sent out by used to always close down the parties hang this one yet, but I will. In case Linda Neighbors to all of the C.O. 's as well, at the conventions. That's you are wondering if we are alone on in Region One. Please also note that balance, that's the Wright Stuff! these cleanups, let me give you some we have been recognized in each of facts. During this one cleanup (The the Communique's that has come out ESSE QUAM VIDERI Great Trash Bash), over 65,000 from the new administration. volunteers participated in all one Those of you who are not
THE SRI IL- HT STUF
VOLUME 6 CONTENTS NUMBER 3
A VIEW FROM THE CATBIRD SEAT
FIRST OFFICER'S LOG 3 SCIENCE DEPARTMENTAL REPORT 3 OPERATIONS DETPARTMENTAL REPORT 3 T H MEDICAL DEPARTMENTAL REPORT 3 I THE ADVENTURES OF MYSTERY AND SPOT - EPISODE EIGHTEEN 4 COLLECTOR'S CORNER 4 SiT ULPF KITTY HAWK CHRONICLES TO EACH HIS OWN 5 ENGINEERING DEPARTMENTAL REPORT
VOLUME 6 NO. 3 SECURITY DEPARTMENTAL REPORT 6 is a publication of the U.S.S. Kitty ENGINEERING AWAY TEAM PROJECT UPDATE 6 Hawk, the Raleigh, N.C. chapter of OVER THE NET 7 STARFLEET, an international STAR TREK fan organization. RULES OF ACQUISITION This publication is provided free of charge, to all chapter members in CALENDAR OF UPCOMING EVENTS 9 good standing. Subscriptions for non-members are $12.00 per year (six issues). Please address all correspondence to CATBIRD Publications, 5017 Glen Forest Dr., Raleigh, N.C. 27612. This publication is a non-profit enterprise and is not meant to infringe upon any copyright or CREDITS trademark held by Paramount PUBLISHER J.R. FISHER Pictures, Gulf & Western, or any EDITOR JANE FISHER other holder of STAR TREK ASSISTANTS AND CONTRIBUTORS JEFF COHN copyrights or trademarks. Unless J.R. FISHER otherwise noted, ENTIRE JOHN MILLER CONTENTS ARE COPYRIGHT CAREY MUSE 1995 CATBIRD Publications, THE ELAINE PISCHISE WRIGHT STUFF. Nothing in LARRY PISCHKE AUDRA TAYLOR whole or in part may be used DIANA WALDIER without the written permission of TARA WEAVER the publisher. THE WRIGHT ROBERT YATES STUFF assumes all material submitted for publication is gratis. The publisher and editors reserve the right to edit all submissions. TOOL BOX: Trigem Pentium/75; Hewlett Packard Lasedet III; Microsoft Publisher; Logitech Scanman Plus; Word for Windows; Logitech Ansel Image Editing Software. T,... A 11=54L.E
FI RST OFFICER'S LOG By Carey Muse
I hope everyone is having a great UP!!! ! enough room aboard this ship. I summer. I have been busy doing other In talking about summer we are would hate for us to have to undergo a things outside of the Kitty Hawk but headed toward our rough period - the refit so soon after our first five year after a short leave on Risa I am feeling heat and humidity of July and August. mission. We have just left spacedock much more relaxed and ready to I know that I echo the Medical from a refit period. continue my First Officer's duties. Department in saying "Please, if you The shuttle launch scheduled for Congratulations to the Kitty are outside take it easy, drink plenty of June has been delayed to July because Hawk for meeting its donation to Duke liquids and just take things a little of woodpeckers. Oh well, at least we Children's hospital. We continue to slower than normal". can't blame NASA for this. do good work and raise a lot of money The ship continues to grow. Mr. for this charity. LET'S KEEP IT Chief Engineer, I hope we have SCIENCE DEPARTMENTAL REPORT By Elaine Pischke
Although we had only nine they could, although they could not much else is new. I have managed to names on our Highway Cleanup list, commit to four times because of work collect, as of this writing, 360 Heinz we have elected to continue the or family responsibilities. We baby food labels, which will add project for another year and see how understand not everyone can or $12.60 to our donation to the Duke it goes. That means those of us who wants to take part in highway Children's Hospital this year. I plan put our names on the list really need cleanup, and that some can only to continue saving labels, so if you to honor our commitment to show up participate occasionally. Therefore, have access to any, please pass them for at least four of the six dates in the I promise not to nag, only to remind on to me. Since Graeme is beginning coming year. Everyone else - we of upcoming cleanups from now on. to graduate to table foods, I don't would greatly appreciate your help. The Chief Science Officer has expect to have so many next year, I know a number of people expressed been busy on the homefront, still but maybe others will take up the a willingness to participate when settling into new quarters, so not slack. 0PERATIO NS DEPARTMENTAL REPORT By Larry Pischke
It seems that the more Starfleet ventilation system blowing lime Jello was good to see him again; I was "improves" its technology, the more into the turbo lifts. I assure you that beginning to wonder if my entire of a headache it becomes. My this is not the case; it should be department jumped ship. They are department and I are finally strawberry. just so dedicated that they trekked finishing up getting the bugs out of But seriously folks... things are into the very bowels of the Kitty the supposed "upgraded systems". looking up. We've actually seen Hawk, and refused to quit or even to This should come as welcome news someone else from Ops. Bob Enters answer hails, until they have to those of you who asked me if warp stuck his head out of an access panel accomplished their task. Really. efficiency was improved by the long enough to make a meeting. It Honest. MEDICAL DEPARTMENTAL REPORT By Diana Waldier
Now that we are underway members who come into sickbay with Yearly level 2 medical again, many of you will be using the repeated injuries related to not examinations will be conducted on Holodeck. During our refit we warming up will be reported to their the whole crew. Please report to sick downloaded over 600 new programs department head. bay at your designated time. If including 200 new worlds that have Medical Lab 4 will be unable to do so, contact sick bay to been explored. Remember to warm conducting biohazzard experiments reschedule. Only two reschedules up adequately before participating in and will be off limits to all allowed - NO EXCEPTIONS. any physical activity. Crew unauthorized personnel for 2 weeks. THE WRIGHT STUFF PAGE 3 JUNE, 1995 T ADVE NTURES OF MYSTERY AND SPOT EPISODE EIGHTEEN NO PLACE LIKE OM C By Elaine Royal Pischke
When Spot finally calmed down equipment sounds. The night was crashed. You were lost. I searched enough to leave Data's side, she excruciatingly quiet. Even her feet and searched..." realized what she had to do. on the grass made no sound. She "Relax. You were dreaming." Somewhere in this mess, Mystery thought this was odd, but kept on Mystery yawned. was lost, perhaps hurt. No one else going, calling out to Mystery as she "No, really. The ship crashed. was likely to think about the fate of went. The stars were not swirling as There was a problem with the warp the ship's mascot for a long long fast now and she was not so dizzy, core, I think..." time, so it was up to Spot. She had but she was becoming more and "Spot, don't be ridiculous. It to find Mystery. more frightened. Suddenly, she felt, couldn't happen. These are smart Data had not tried to confine then heard, a deep rumbling sound. people. They know how to deal with the orange feline. He was much too She thought at first that the ground those problems. Believe me. It could busy to spend much time paying was trembling, but no, it was never happen." attention to the cat anyway. So Spot something else. She stopped. "Are you sure?" She wanted to just slipped away while his back was "I'm hungry," she realized. It believe Mystery, but it had all turned. She ran through the had been quite a while since dinner. seemed so real. damaged ship, calling to her friend For a moment she debated going "Absolutely. Not in all your constantly as she ran. Everywhere back to the ship. She could get nine lives, and mine, too. Not in a she went she saw people. Many Data's attention and surely he would million cat lives. Now go back to were injured and medical teams feed her, even as busy as he was. sleep." Mystery closed her eyes. rushed by her several times. She But somehow she could not get her Spot heaved a great sigh of saw Guinan leading a group of feet to turn around. So she relief, stood up and stretched. "Not children out into the sunlight and continued onward. She soon found me. I'm hungry!" Spot declared. decided to follow. The day was herself approaching a stream. She And she went off to attempt to con dazzlingly bright, and colors seemed reached the water and studied the some poor ensign out of part of his more vivid than she had ever seen fish. Yes, they would make a lovely lunch. before. Flowers dotted the meal. She perched herself on a rock countryside. She slipped under and positioned herself to pounce on some large fluorescent green leaves the next big one that swam by. She and watched, amazed, as Guinan led picked one out and dove for it - and COLLECTOR'S the children, skipping and laughing, missed! Her feet slipped off the rock toward a pool of water. Spot perked and down she went into the water. CORNER her ears up in disbelief when they It was deeper than she had thought By Carey Muse danced right into the water. and down, down she went. Humans! There was just no telling "Mystery!" she screamed in panic. what they would do next. Spot Suddenly she felt a paw smack her This will be a quick and short called out to Mystery several more upside the head. She opened her Collector's Corner this time. times, then concluded that Mystery eyes and there was Mystery, looking The movie will be out on video was not here and decided to look at her like she was crazy. "Wha?" in August. That's the good news. behind some nearby rocks. As soon Spot shook herself off, but there was The bad news is that it is for rental as she was out of sight of the no water. only. HOPEFULLY the price will be Enterprise, everything changed. "Could you please dream dropped down to the $15 to $20 range The sky was darker, a deep blue, and quietly? I need a nap." Mystery in time for Christmas gift giving. stars were swirling by, spinning circled once then settled down in a The other note of interest is dizzyingly across the sky. Spot corner. Playmate is going to be releasing, squinched her eyes closed, but she Spot looked around, confused. sometime in the fall, an Enterprise could still see them. "Mystery!" she They were in Ten-Forward. There D. This one will be the future cried. "Where are you?" was Guinan, tending bar as usual. version from "All Good Things". Still, there was no answer. Several crew members were eating That's all for now. Spot began wandering further their lunches. Spot looked out the and further from the ship. Soon she window. Stars, blackness, the usual. could not even hear any voices or "What happened? I thought we TI IF WRIGI IT STUFF PAGE 4 JUNE, 1995
KITTY HAWK CHRONICLES II
T O EACH HIS OWN By Audra Taylor
Captain 2 "But this planet is in our Talesin, the bounty would be enough sector." to fix up Master's Play with newer It had seemed like only a few "Which means that there is equipment and a fresher crew. minutes when the helmsmen something on this particular planet Those women weren't much to look informed JR that they were in visual they want. Something that's at, but human women always range of the planet. He tapped his valuable enough to warrant the risk. brought a higher price and maybe if corn badge. If there hadn't been an observation Shelly were added to the list. Yes, "Captain Fisher to Commander crew there at the time of the attack, she was a prize. Smart, quick, pretty Muse. Number One, I need to see they probably would have come and and fair-headed. Yes, he thought, you in my ready room." gone without being noticed." that might be what I need. A little "I'm on my way Captain." "A whole planet wiped out or bonus to see the look on Taylor's face Carey headed up and out. He knew enslaved." His stomach started to as Shelly is sold to the highest they had changed their course, but knot up. bidder. He leaned back in his chair hadn't dared to ask the Captain "Most of the observation crew hearing the hum of the engines. what was going on. Or why they was killed in the attacks. There is Grun thought with a smile. were headed to such an obscure one crew member left, she'll be `Too bad the men don't fetch as high planet. Carey of all people knew hiding somewhere on the planet. We a price. The only market for them is what the Captain had been through will scan the planet for her com labor.' with this last assignment. Baby badge. Commander, I want you to go The intercom buzzed. Grun sitting a Ferengi ambassador, his retrieve her. She has information I growled "What?" wife and six children had turned the need." Sava came on the line. She was whole ship upside down for almost a "But Captain, the transporters after all, the only one of the crew who week. And with the Captain's wife aren't fixed yet." could talk to Grun without fear. away visiting relatives, he just "Yes, I know. Chief Habrych "A message is coming in for you, wasn't himself. He shook his head. has been working on a project called it's on a secure line." That had been the worst week of his a static emitter. It will block all the There is only one person who life. Reports were still coming in on sensors with static and give you knows where I am... "Fine, send it." how people had been swindled out of enough time to leave and land the He looked at the screen over on money and jewelry. That was from shuttle on the surface. We'll have to the far wall. He pressed a button the older children. The younger do it all over again for your return." and a Ferengi face appeared. It was children had gotten creative with the His com badge chirped. a prerecorded message. They were transporter, and it would be another "Captain, I've located a corn signal on too far out for anything else. week before it was fixed. He gave a the surface." "Well, I bet you're surprised to heavy sigh, Terengi's! I can live "Excellent. be right there." hear from me." The Ferengi had a without them.' "Commander, go and speak smug tone, which meant only one Carey pushed the chime on the with Jeff. Make sure he has thing. He knew something. I stuck ready room door. "Enter," he said everything ready." He looked away around Talesin after you left, to visit aloud. "Commander, please have a for only a moment. "And a few old and dear friends." seat. I'm sure you're aware of our Commander, prepare yourself for 'Get to the point,' Grun course change." anything." thought, 'you snouted wind bag.' "Yes, sir. To a small planet "I understand, Captain." "I found out that you have a called Tamarous." Commander Muse got up and left the little surprise waiting for you when "Commander, this planet is of room. you get back to the asteroid station. great interest to Starfleet Command. He stood still in the quiet, Apparently that little conversation You see the inhabitants of this world trying to make the minute last. It we thought was just between us was are human." was time to make his move. overheard. Because your Captain He was astonished. "How is has already sold you and few of the that possible, Captain?" Grun's Little Secret other crew members to the mining "I don't know. I do know that company of Ariti. And you know the planet is being attacked. I'm Everything was working out what they say about the company of hoping we're not too late." just fine. Taylor would only be the Ariti, that all they need is a body, no Who would attack and destroy trophy for a larger victory that would internal organs required. Well, that such a small out of the way planet?" soon be his. Granted Master's Play makes us even." The screen went "Romulans." wasn't one of the largest ships, but blank. Carey's face went pale.. The she was one of the quickest. Plus The anger that stirred him was captain continued. "Those that with the sale of the minerals and the (Continued on page 9) aren't killed will be put into slavery." women to the asteroid station, THE WRIGHT STUFF PAGE 5 JUNE, 1995
ENGINEERING DEPARTMENTAL REPORT By John Miller
Stardate: 9505.06 - Well, about 20 of my crew engaged in he IS a member of my Senior main engineering is going to need various and sundry violations of Engineering staff and the rest of the some extra repair and clean-up this Starfleet and Federation engineering crew was just following week. After going off duty on May regulations. Not the least of which his orders, I knew I had only one 5th, I decided to head over to 10- was using the Matter/Anti-Matter course of action. Forw ard to see what kind of Reactor for producing alcoholic "Lieutenant Jones. Hand over festivities were going on for the beverages. I was all set to really lay that mug right NOW! And make celebration of the Terran "Fifth of down the law and make an example Bloody well sure it's FULL!" May" party. After staying with the of the people. After all, only SENIOR The rest, as they say, is history. group in 10-Forward for a few hours, Engineering staff are allowed to We should have the warp engines I got a call to head back down to make creative use of our M/A-MR. It back on-line within 12 to 14 hours. engineering. Little did I know that was about this time that I found the The rest of Main Engineering will be my engineering staff was planning master-mind behind this back up to par by the end of the on having their OWN party. When I debauchery: my own Executive week. Or at least after I get rid of got to Main Engineering, I found Engineer, Brian Jones!! Well, since this hangover. S ECU RI TY DEPARTMENTAL REPORT 13y Tara Weaver
Well, after graduating from infiltration, I'm ready to settle down only the most routine of the Security Starfleet Academy's Advanced with my duties for a while. Department's services are needed at Tactical Training School, vacationing I hope everyone's summer is this time. So, for now, all's clear. a week on Raisa, and spending a going well - I know mine is (except week at a seminar for advanced for the job search part). I have very training in reconnaissance and little to report this time around as ENGINEERING AWAY TEAM PROJECT UPDATE By John Mille r
Well, it appears that our attempt rescheduled for June 22, 1995. of the currently scheduled launches. to travel to Florida to see a Shuttle Unfortunately, not enough people If anyone sees any that are near a Launch has been put on indefinite could go, myself included, to make good time for a vacation, let me or hold. Due to schedule constraints the trip workable. Fear not, brave J.R. know so we can try to schedule with the Russian Spektr module, the crew! We can try for another launch another trip. STS-71 docking mission was later in the year. Below is a listing MISSION NUMBER ORBITER VEHICLE LAUNCH DATE DESCRIPTION (ESTIMATED) STS-70 Discovery (0V-103) 7/13/95 STS-69 Endeavour (0V-105) 7/30/95 STS-73 Columbia (0V-102) 9/21/95 10:37 a.m. STS-74 Atlantis (OV-102) 10/26/95 MIR-2 STS-72 Endeavour (OV-105) 11/30/95 STS-75 Columbia (0V-102) 2/15/95 STS-76 Atlantis (0V-104) 3/21/96 MIR-3 STS-77 Endeavour (0V-105) 4/25/96 STS-78 Columbia (0V-102) July '96
TILE WRIGHT STUFF PAGE 6 JUNE, 1995
OVER THE NET Submitted By Robert Yates
The Andorian Assault He..." suffered a mild concussion caused by (Continued) "Struck you? Slapped you? an air-carried shockwave. The By Andrew Clark Pulled a phaser on you? Made a lewd condition is common in combat sexual advance? Stroked one of your situations if an Andorian is not antennae?" This last made Ko'ta wearing hearing protection. In this "My idea, but Lieutenant turn slightly blue. Antennae are particular case, the individual will Nguyen implemented it. She did the highly intimate organs; to allow cease to suffer symptoms hard work, sir, and deserves the another to touch them is an overtly approximating nausea and dizziness credit." sexual act. within the hour. Temporary loss of Tanaka thought of something "In a way. The doctor was hearing and headaches will continue and frowned. She pressed a key that treating my hearing loss, then told for several days but should not shut off the automatic bridge me I was a queer after he was done." interfere with normal duty recorder. "I see. You didn't hit him, at functions. I did not run a full-body "Answer this honestly, least. Considering the medical diagnostic, so I cannot speak Lieutenant. Did you arrange circumstances, it's nothing to worry to other aspects of the subject's Newhausen's fall in the cargo area?" about." condition. Ko'tanavoatoa should "Most heinously, sir. It was the Ko'ta nodded, very slowly. recover full hearing within six days. Medical section that arranged for the "What happened to your I am quite confident that she will not temporary amnesia. Apparently, he hearing?" suffer any hearing loss, but this was about to run a surprise "The Andorian intruder used a inspection of the StarBase Sickbay incident should be recorded for shaped charge to blow a bulkhead. when a sensor report about us review by a specialist at the time of He was wearing earmuffs, I was her next physical." interrupted him. A little inter- not." service collaboration never hurts, "Thank you, Doctor." Tanaka Tanaka winced. cut the link. especially when it saves a Chief "Painful?" "Thank you, sir." Ko'ta felt very Medical Officer and a Commander "Not really, I just couldn't from finding new careers in the food relieved. It was something she hear." hadn't thought of during her blind service industry." "Permanent?" rage at the doctor. Tanaka laughed for several "No, I hope. The diagnosis was seconds, paused, and began laughing "Now, let's see what you didn't by that doctor." hear while your hearing was out." again. Tanaka growled and strolled Tanaka entered a security code and "Assault on a flag officer, over to the communications board. kidnaping, tampering with his ran quickly through the internal "StarBase 4 Medical section, Pd security records showing Ko'ta's mind... those are all felony court- like to speak to..." Tanaka turned to actions. marital offenses!" Ko'ta. "Sir." Nguyen tried to look hurt "Doctor Pydoquoda." but failed. Her grin spoiled the AuxCon -- "Sir, he blew the "Doctor Pydoquoda, now. It is bulkhead leading to officer's effect. urgent. Hello, Doctor. This is quarters. "Congratulations are in order. The Captain is in her Commander Tanaka, USS Who else knows?" quarters. Can you hear me, sir?" Endeavor." "Two Medical staff on the "Yes, Commander, what can I StarBase, Petty Officer Fletcher, and Ko'ta "AuxCon, use your own do for you?" now you two. That's it." discretion in sealing off sections. "You can give me a precise and Hostile is now headed toward "Keep it that way, forever." professional medical opinion about officer's quarters." Tanaka switched the bridge recorder the medical condition of Lieutenant back on. Commander Ko'tanavoatoa. "I need to speak with the Exec AuxCon -- "If you can hear us, Everything you say is being recorded sir, he went into the Captain's alone. Get one of the other watch and may be used against you in a officers conscious and turn the mess quarters. We have audio in there but court-martial proceeding over to him." if no visual pickup," necessary. Do you understand this "Lieutenant Anetsky has the statement?" bag." Tanaka blinked. Privacy Pydoquoda let out a short cheep has its disadvantages. "Whatever. Dismissed." that Ko'ta understood as "!@$%." Nguyen turned and left. Unfortunately, it was only an audio AuxCon -- "Shit. How long until "Ko'ta, I don't speak Andorian. link. She would have loved to see his we can get that door open?" However, I do know the most violent face. curses. Why did you exhaust all of "Yes, sir. Lieutenant Bridge -- "Working on it, maybe them at that Sickbay doctor? I heard Commander Ko'tanavoatoa is in three minutes." you through a closed door; the entire excellent physical condition. Her crew will know by tomorrow." sinister and dexter antennae "Sir, the doctor was Andorian. (Continued on page 10) THE WRIGHT STUFF PAGE 7 JUNE, 1995 RULES OF ACQUISITION * Courtesy of the World Wide VVeb Submitted By Jeff Cohn
1. Once you have their money, you never 47. Never trust anyone whose suit is nicer 214. Never begin a business negotiation give it back. [Rom, The Nagus"] than your own. [Quark, "Rivals! on an empty stomach. [Quark, "The Maquis, Part 1R. If they want their money back, give it 48. The bigger the smile, the sharper the to them. [Quark, "Prophet Motive"' knife. [Pel, "Rules of Acquisition"] 217.You can't free a fish from water. [Quark, "Past Tense, Part 3. Never spend more for an acquisition 57. Good customers are as rare as than you have to. [Quark, "The Maquis, latinum, treasure them. [Quark, 218. Sometimes what you get free costs Part "Armageddon Game"] entirely too much. [Quark, ST: DS9 Comic #12] Note: Non-Canon 6. Never allow family to stand in the way 59. Free advice is seldom cheap. [Quark, of opportunity. [Zek, The Nagus"] "Rules of Acquisition"] 219. Possession is eleven-tenths of the law. [Tunk, TNG Novel #33 - Balance of 7. Keep your ears open. [Odo, "Hands of 60. Let's you and him fight. ['Punk, TNG Power (p67)] Note: Non-Canon the Prophet"] Novel #33 - Balance of Power (p87)] Note: Non-Canon 285. No good deed ever goes unpunished. 8. Only a fool passes up a business [Quark, "The Collaborator"] opportunity. [Vung, DS9 Novel #7 - 62. The riskier the road, the greater the Warchild (p174)] Note: Non-Canon profit, [Pel, "Rules of Acquisition"] 285R A good deed is its own reward. [Rom, "Prophet Motive"] 9. Opportunity plus instinct equals profit. 69. Ferengi are not responsible for the [Nog, "The Storyteller"] stupidity of other races. [Turk, TNG 286. When Morn leaves, it's all over. Novel #33 - Balance of Power (p179)] [Quark, "The House of Quark! [This rule 10.Greed is eternal. [Quark, "Prophet Note: Non-Canon doesn't really exist, Quark made it up.] Motive"] 75. Home is where the heart is, but the In the TNG episode "Bloodlines", Cmdr. lOR .Greed is dead. [Rom, "Prophet stars are made of latinum. [Quark, "Civil Riker mentions that the Ferengi Motive"' Defense"] government is debating an amendment to the Rules of Acquisition. (stardate 13. Anything worth doing is worth doing 76. Every once in a while declare peace. It 47829.1) for money. [From The Making of Star confuses the hell out of your enemies. Trek: Deep Space Nine (p27)] Note: Non- [Quark, "The Homecoming"] We know from Quark (The Maquis, Part Canon I) and from Pel, (Rules of Acquisition) that 102.Nature decays, but latinum lasts there are 285 Rules of Acquisition. 16. A deal is a deal. [Quark, "Melora"] forever. [Quark & Nog, "The Jem'Hadar! Quark mentioned rule #223 in "Profit and 18.A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi 103.Sleep can interfere .... [cut off] [Pel, Loss". at all. [Sisko & Nog, "Heart of Stone"] "Rules of Acquisition"] Pel may have invented what she said for 21. Never place friendship above profit. 109. Dignity and an empty sack is worth the rule #103. [Quark, "Rules of Acquisition"] the sack. [Quark, "Rivals! It seems that Quark violated rule #112 21R Never place profit before friendship. 111. Treat people in your debt like family, when he was younger. [Rom, "Prophet Motive"] exploit them. [Sisko, "Past Tense, Part *All rules marked with a R after the 22. A wise man can hear profit in the 112.Never have sex with the boss' sister. number indicates that the rule is one of wind. [Pel, "Rules of Acquisition! [Quark, "Playing God! the Grand Nagus' revised rules in "Prophet Motive". These revised rules 22R Latinum tarnishes, but family is 139. Wives serve, brothers inherit. [Ode, were never officially released. forever. [Rom, "Prophet Motive"] "Necessary Evil"] [email protected] 23R Money can never replace dignity. 184. (See 191) Last rules added: 1R, 10, 10R, 21R, 22R, [Rom, "Prophet Motive"] 2311 and 285R 191. A Ferengi waits to bid until his February 18, 1995 31. Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother. opponents have exhausted themselves. Info also compiled from news posting by [Quark, "The Siege"] [Tunk, TNG Novel #33 - Balance of Power Michael J. Baker ([email protected]) (1)157)] [Tunk was corrected as to the 33. It never hurts to suck up to the boss. number of this RofA as being 184] Note: [Quark & Pel, "Rules of Acquisition"] Non-Canon
34. War is good for business. [Dax & 194. It's always good business to know Quark, "Destiny"] about new customers before they walk in your door. [Quark wasn't sure of the 35. Peace is good for business. [Dax & number of this one] [Quark, "Whispers"] Quark, "Destiny"]
THE WRIGHT STUFF PAGE 8 JUNE, 1995
(Continued from page 5) You've been acting really weird ever filled with a sort of demon that was The anger that stirred him was since you found out they brought enjoying the pain." a quiet brewing anger, much more those aliens aboard." Shelly sat there gaping. Taylor dangerous and deadly than his Taylor finally sat on the edge of got up and walked across the room temperamental outbursts. This her bed. "I don't know. They've only into a smaller separate room. There anger would help him think, help been here for what, three days? I on the bed, sound asleep was her him get what he wanted. His jaw have this feeling, like I need to see son. If Grun got hold of her she tightened. No one will ever sell him, them." would be able to survive it, for a little he'd die first. But, if all the company "You're just worried that the while at least. But what would needed was a body, perhaps he could Captain's going to replace you." happen to her son. Johnathon was oblige them with someone else's. Shelly looked as if she had the so innocent. She'd been able to No one could have overheard answer. protect him so far because the their conversation and that meant "No, I don't plan to be here long Captain had given her permission to only one thing. Someone was enough to let that happen." keep the child. But Grun had never watching him. Well, if the Captain "What's going on in that brain approved of having a child aboard was aware that his life was in of yours?" Shelly's look was not of and he made that plainly obvious. danger, perhaps he could use that to concern but one that said, 'do you Grun could sell him into slavery or ... his own advantage. After all, he have a plan?' No, Taylor thought. The time to would not expect a direct assault. "There might be a chance we move was now. All she needed was Then no more waiting was could live on that planet." Taylor sat a clear plan. Taylor turned and necessary. At last, his time had down and crossed her legs on the strolled back to bed. These aliens, finally come. Before the next down edge of the bed. "I heard some of the she thought, they're innocent, too. time the Captain would be dead. It crew members say how beautiful the From what she could tell, they would be a simple matter of finishing area was. Large trees, soft lavender weren't even capable of defending what he'd already started. He'd beaches and lots of fresh air." themselves. She slipped into her already been poisoning the Captain "Yeah. But even if we could night shirt and laid on top of the slowly through his air duct. He had manage to escape, they'd just destroy covers. There was a way out, and it hoped to watch him suffer. The us. Even if we got down to the was now or never. Taylor called for poison would have made his body surface, it would be too easy for them lights to dim. shrivel up and his mind hallucinate. to follow." Just as she was drifting off to Grun would just have to finish the Taylor carefully eyed Shelly. sleep, the hand once again grabbed job a little sooner. And he couldn't "That's if they were alive to do it." her and threw her against the body. wait for that. After all, his patience "You're not saying what I think The hand was firmly planted across had started growing thin. This new you're saying?" Shelly stared into her lips. She wanted to scream. She resolution called for a celebration. Taylor's eyes, her gaze shifted. "Oh was lifted off the floor and carried Perhaps a down time visit with my God, you are. You want me to rig out of the room. It had to be Grun, Taylor. the self-destruct, don't you? I Taylor thought, no one has that kind thought we went over this before. of grip but him. A Taylored Nightmare Christ, you were the one that talked He quickly carried her to an me out of it!" empty cargo bay and sealed the door Taylor began to pace the floor. "Shelly, I just don't see another behind them. He let her drop to the She was itching to get out tonight. way out of this. And I don't think I floor. As soon as he did she spun In fact, she was practically climbing could handle being traded down to around to look at him. He was the walls. Grun. You haven't seen him at work. grinning with an odd sort of "Will you knock it off. I just got Once, the Captain made me watch as Romulan smile. It was a smile that the kid to sleep." Shelly looked up at they interrogated a prisoner they'd looked familiar. Taylor thought her Taylor who's pacing did not slow taken from a destroyed freighter. I heart would stop as the memory down. "If you're dying to get out then think he wanted to give me a flashed in her mind. It was the look go. But do it and get it over with. warning of what would or could on Grun's face, like he was enjoying You're making me dizzy watching happen to me if I tried_ to leave. I got every minute of it. The power game. you pace." a chance to see Grun in action as he Like he was filled with some sort of "I can't just yet." tortured that poor man. That man demon that enjoyed inflicting pain. "Why not?" Shelly asked. had absolutely nothing to offer them. It doesn't feel right. I can't The look on Grun's face, I knew he TO I3E CONTINUED... explain it. I just have a feeling." was enjoying every minute of it. It "Hey, what's with you lately? was like a power game. He was
CALE I KJ R 1111 IF UP G E ENTM
JULY 8 5:00 P.M.- Kitty Hawk Meeting/Party at OCTOBER 26-29 Knight Star Con I Region I Summit Jeff s (see map) NOVEMBER 4 4:00 P.M. - Kitty Hawk Meeting AUGUST 5 .. 4:00 P.M.- Kitty Hawk Meeting DECEMBER 2 4:00 P.M. Kitty Hawk Meeting SEPTEMBER 2 4:00 P.M.- Kitty Hawk Meeting DECEMBER 17 Anniversary Party OCTOBER 7 4:00 P.M.- Kitty Hawk Meeting DECEMBER 31 First Night
THE WRIGHT STUFF PAGE 9 JUNE, 1995 (Continued from page 7) "In fact, that was downright "No way. Andorians don't have AuxCon -- "Step on it, Grover, heroic. I can't put you in for a those kind of reproductive organs." or the Captain finds out about your citation, but I greatly appreciate it. "How do they do it then?" interactive porno video games!" You literally saved my life. One None of your business; let's just comment, though. Why did you set say humans and Andorians are Tanaka laughed. Now I know the phaser on overload?" sexually incompatible and leave it at anyway. Wonder if they're any good. "Sir, if I didn't stop him he was that. I know from experience. going to destroy or capture the ship. "Damned if I know. It's audio -- "BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, If I had lost he would have killed us probably in the ship's library." BEEP, BEEP" both. If the phaser went off, we "Hell, doesn't matter. At least would have taken him with us and we have an Exec to be proud of. How AuxCon "Ko'ta overloaded a prevented the takeover of the ship." would you like having a Vulcan as phaser. Crazy Andorian! She might "Good thinking. One thing that XO?" blow starboard pressurization that should be clarified; this does not "Never. My older sister served close to the shuttle bay!" resolve the issue of your previous on Enterprise. She said that half the performance. You're still going to women on the ship were throwing Tanaka's face turned white. have to work damned hard to stay on themselves at him, and the other She looked at Ko'ta and quickly this ship." half avoided him like the plague." glanced away. Bloodthirsty move. Ko'ta nodded, slowly. Her "Which half was your sis in?" Ko'ta must have been really pissed. antennae were beginning to droop. Let's just say my nephew's ears "Right now, you need to get have a hit of a point to them." The audio -- "jejejejagjehveteno..." some rest. I was looking at the time repair crew laughed. and I realized you've been up for "Here, help me with this weld." "Computer, enhance and about thirty-five hours now. When Ko'ta walked a dozen paces to translate into Human Basic. Back you wake up, report to me. Feel free her quarters and entered. The point 2." to sleep in if you want." small, cramped space only had one "Yes, sir." Ko'ta smiled in the luxury — it was hers and hers alone. audio -- "Not you again, human fashion and left the bridge. She set the audio to the human pervert. Time for revenge." She had a lot to think about. equivalent of "white noise," turned Kota took the turbolift to down the lights, and collapsed on her audio -- "
THE WRIGHT STUFF PAGE 10 JUNE, 1995