The SINCE 1916

VOLUME 80v NUMBER 25 STANDING WAVES ON THE PIZZA APRIL 2,1993 Lovett fence results in war declaration by Sid Richardson rest of the university, starting with by Kevin Mistry the main quad," he said. "We'll be- come acampus of right angles, a very Long-standing tensions erupted square place." between Sid Richardson and Lovett Patterson described Chen's pre- Colleges last week when SRC issued diction as "laughable," and said, "One a formal declaration of war in re- fence on the side of Lovett College sponse to "the abominable and will not immediately lead to the wall- unforgivable crimes of our demonic ing up of the university." foe in all things." "This was intended to be mostly The latest round in the Sid-Lovett in fun,"Tolle said. "Besides, Lovett is rivalry resulted from the erection ofa ugly, they know it, and [Sid] should chicken-wire fence, bike rack, and keep it that way. What are they wor- row of bushes between Baker Col- ried about? lege and Lovett, which SRC mem "I think there have been quite a bers allege is intended to keep them few people that have responded. But from crossing Lovett's quad. Paid for most people have ignored this the by Lovett College ambience funds way they ignore most things," Tolle last year, the fence was finally erected said. "Still, I wrote [the declaration j by Food and Housing two weeks ago. to make council enjoyable. And I have The declaration of war, drafted by to admit, I'd like to see the trench SRC senior and "War Cabinet" mem- stay." ber John Tolle, declares, "From the The fence and shrubbery also in- corner of Baker College to the side of convenience Lovett members. For the Will Rice commons, an iron cur- those who park their bikes at the tain (with attendant goofy shrubs) rack and seek to get to the Ix>vett has been drawn across the Lovett commons, office, or volleyball pit. quad. This curtain threatens through •% the fence is an obstruction. It also our apathy and inaction to wrest con- hinders members of any other col- trol from Sid the ugly, grassless The offending fence, on the north side of the Lovett quad. lege that travel to or from SRC and trench through that area, a path built The declaration proposes both an SRC $100 as a result though no wit- to keep that hedge in shape." Lovett WRC. up carefully, over many long years, "anti-Lovett indoctrination of new stu- nesses saw the fence being torn down. paid $120 for the fence and $1500 for Reactions to the declaration of with the labor of countless Sid feet." dents" during Orientation Week and F&H has threatened to double the the hedges. war were split along college lines. The declaration states that the special emergency powers for the fine the next time something hap- Lovett President Clint Patterson Lovett junior Anne Chettle said, "1 path is, "by right, tradition, and long SRC president to "suspend the con- pens to the fence. F&H and the SRC said of the declaration. "1 think it's think it's stupid and retarded." use Sid Richardson soil." It contin- stitution and council, to commandeer government are currently in negotia- ridiculous, it's crazy. They're all a But SRC sophomore Suneel ues, "They claim only to want their college funds for personal use, to tions about the payment of the fine. bunch of freaks.... We thoughtabout Chilukuri said of the war, "It shows quad 'back,' but the path is not theirs order summary executions of dis- "The proof was in the fact that writing a letter to Sid telling them we the spirit, unity, and dynamicism of to 'reclaim.' The path is Sid's, and loyal college members, and to use Monday morning the removed por- rule or *Sid, you suck!' but that would Sid." Sid's it will remain. In any case, what harsh language at will" to support the tion of the fence was found in the only encourage them. So we thought As for the actual waging of their are enemies for? They want us off war effort lobby of Sid Richardson College," we'd let it die its natural death." war, SRC President Jay Murphy said, their quad. We must therefore stay The fence was torn down last said Robert Truscott, F&H project Nonetheless, the struggle seems "1 have no plans for execution [of there." weekend. Food and Housing fined coordinator for the residential col- unlikely to blow over. SRC Chief Jus- disloyal Sid members] at this time, leges. tice Andy Chen, who would be re- but I'm not above using my newly Asked if the fence could have been sponsible for trying disloyal Sid mem acquired powers. We've also ordered torn down by Lovett members to bers, said the consequences of this the napalm, but too bad both col- TABC agents visit campus frame SRC, Truscott responded, latest outbreak are likely to affect all leges don't bum." He also confirmed "That's not going to happen, because of Rice. that SRC members will be fined $. 10 by Sara Maurer Robert Howelton of TABC was Lovett paid for that hedge them- "If they're going to wall off that for each time they take a detour unable to confirm any details of the selves. It's in their financial interests path, they might as well wall off the around the fence. visit The Texas Alchoholic Beverage "I know nothing about it," he said, Commission visited campus last Fri- adding that agents who are currently day in response to a complaint regis- out oftown might have been involved Illness claims German prof Susan Clark tered against the Pub by a student in the visit Rice University Police Depart- Howelton said TABC could not by Patricia Lin members Clank from her own stu- ment Chief Mary Voswinkel said provide any information concerning dent days. "She helped me fill out TABC agents notified police of their the complaint that prompted the visit applications for fellowships when I presence on campus. "That's confidential information. Susan L Clark, a professor in the was a graduate student here at Rice," "They indicated that a student on When we get a call, we don't even German and Slavic Studies Depart- Dunbar said. "She spent hours edit- campus had registered a complaint need a name, we'll go ahead and ment, died March 24 after an ex- ing and essentially teaching me how search a place." tended illness. to write. She was a terrific academic TABC is responsible for licensing Clark published four books and adviser, and she would provide for 'Not too many people and regulating establishments that more than 60 articles in her 20-year and follow up with anyone who might serve alchohoL career at Rice and was also active in have a problem. The depth and ex- show up [at Valhalla] RUPD informed Brown Master Student Advising, the Admissions pression of her love for Rice students John Brelsford and Bacchanalia or- Committee, the University Commis- crossed all boundaries." wearing polyester and ganizers of the possibility that TABC sion on Women, and the Rhodes and Clark also channeled her interest would attend the party. Marshall scholarship committees. in medieval literature and culture into "Before the party we told our bar- Colleagues said it was her deep inter- her activities in the German Depart- badges.' tenders to be extra strict" said Brown est in the welfare of students that ment and as a faculty associate at social coordinator Wilbur Lam. distinguished her as a remarkable Baker College. —Bill Jones "Usually we're anal anyway, but teacher and friend. "She directed German Depart- Susan Claris Saturday we had the socials hanging "Susan has always been the one ment plays, which she called Teu- add/drop deadlines, she was always about underage drinking originating over the bartenders' backs all night, who looks after the people who fall tonicproductions,'" Nelson said. "She ready with her stamp." at the Pub," Voswinkel said. just to make sure nothing went through the cracks," said Deborah made all the costumes, which she "Susan was an extraordinarily Voswinkel said that the agents wrong," he said. Nelson, chair of the French Depart- did without patterns." committed associate with special did not volunteer the student's name. Brown members were unsure ment and a close friend of Clark. Most of the Shakespearean cos- energy for minority students," Mcin- "When they found out that Willy*s whether TABC agents actually vis- "She was always ready to give you tumes in Baker College's costume tosh added. "In fact, before the Office was not open on Friday nights, they ited Bacchanalia. another chance. I know for sure that collection are Clark's handiwork. of Minority Affairs existed, Susan notified us that they were going to be "I haven't actually heard reports there are numerous former Rice stu- "She was already in poor health Clark was the person to whom people at Valhalla. They also asked about of them being there," said Brown dents operating successfully in the when Rob and I came to be Baker in need of such guidance turned." the Brown [College] party, and said President Rachele Harless. world who wouldn't have graduated masters," Dunbar said, "but she took "I can still see her sitting on the they might be back the next night," "I assume that they did not come without her giving them a second the time and energy to make us each floor at Baker, sewing and knitting, she said. back," Voswinkel said, citing the fact chance. She understood that life costumes for the Shakespeare Festi- keeping herself busy," Stabell said. Valhalla manager Bill Jones said that TABC agents did not report to sometimes became complicated and val and for Feast She considered "Her death is truly a loss.... I know four TABC agents visited Valhalla on the RUPD any night other than Fri- hard to handle," Nelson said. them to be uniforms for the Baker that everybody who knew her when Friday night "They were checking day. "She championed the underdog," masters. The festival and many of she was active would attest to her IDs and seeing who was drunk." Pub manager Dacia Hammerick said Richard Stabell, dean of admis- Baker's play productions have been value to this community." Jones said none of the agents iden- said TABC agents had not, to her sions and records. "She looked for recipients of much of Susan's love "She was enthusiastic, idealistic, tified themselves directly to him, "but knowledge, paid any visits to Willy's the studentwith special qualities that and energy." energetic, and stubborn. In short, not too many people show up here Pub. "We have not been contacted by didn't come through in the grades "She was an indefatigable associ- she was a phenomenal person," wearing polyester and badges." the TABC at all," she said. and transcripts and took personal ate," said former Baker Master Su- Nelson said. Noviolationsoccurred during the Jones said the committee in responsibility for them. We admitted san Mcintosh, professor of anthro- Memorial services will be held visit "I think the fact that we were charge of the university's beer and them, and she would follow up on pology. "Before her illness, she was April 14 at 4 p.m. in the Rice Memo- visited on the busiest night of the wine license would meet April 1 to them constantly, making sure that always in the college, always at lunch, rial Center chapel. Donations in her week and no violations were found is discuss the TABC visits. Committee every opportunity possible was open always there when she was needed. name should be sent to the Susan L an indication that Valhalla is not a member Michael Woodbury said no to them" She was the humanities faculty advi- Clark Memorial Fund, in care of the problem on campus," Jones said. agenda had been set as of March 31. Baker Master Robyn Dunbar re- ser, and on important days such as Office of Development 2 FRIDAY. APRIL 2, 1993 THE RICE THRESHER OPINION i t !l:r;sh.>rTlir< - iu rThr<^htT 1 InvsiK-r rhrv>h«T Hiro-;} rslu-r i ha-oiUT r>nv^tiiK-rTin\ /shrrThrr^hrr ! hr hr.VncrHire mt'I r'l l-rvslu-r 1 ;m-sh

If there is one thing this year's Thresher staff will remember of our time as editors, it is October 22,1992. They will remember it because on that date at 11 a.m., President Rupp announced his resignation in a surprise news conference, and immediately follow- ing, we decided the Thresher was doing its first extra issue. We will remember it as the day we came to realize just how talented, committed, and extraordinary our staff really is. Remem- ber that October 22 was a Thursday morning, and like every Thursday morning this year, we and our staff had seen the sunrise from our second-floor office window after a grueling night of edit- ing, layout, design, computer failures, cutting, sizing, and, finally, driving to the printer. It took a lot of effort to answer the phone that Thursday morning when we got the call announcing the press conference. But when we walked into the Founder's Room to join the rest of the Houston press corps, our own core of the Thresher editorial staff was already seated, and had saved us seats. Immediately afterwards, we huddled. We discussed what had been said, decided we were going to publish an extra insert, as- signed leads and angles to each person, and promised to meet back at our office at 2 p.m. to compare notes and begin the story. Christianity debate ignores assumptions Adrenaline was running through the office all morning and all To the editors: does this, preferring instead to arbi- assumption (and largest point of de- afternoon, and not once did we stop to think of how tired we all The past several weeks have trarily assume the accuracy of their parture from biblical Christianity) is brought to the Thresher a steady own definitions. This violates the terms that all methods of approaching this were. We had even interrupted a class to pull out one of our staff stream of commentary on InterVarsity of their own professed quest for truth, pursuit are equally fruitful. He may members. When it was finally done and distributed at 10 p.m. that Christian Fellowship's fliers. I am not namely a refusal to take anything for find this claim "childish," but this he evening, we collapsed in a weary, hungry heap at a local Mexican a member of IV, but the fliers were so granted. offers only as an unsupported opinion strongly worded that I have watched food restaurant None of us had changed clothes, showered, or The predictable response to this (and a fascinating appraisal of a faith with interest the debate orbiting them. charge is that Christianity also fails to with such a rich historical tradition). properly rested...but we were happy. We were proud. Not once Much of the discussion has focussed Similarly, Mar- that day had any of the staff members even paused to complain or on words like "intolerance" and "faith," tin implies that in- to question the extra burden we had placed upon their shoulders. with judgements such as "arrogant," Martin implies that Christians dividual Christians "childish," and "closed-minded" lev- claim to possess all We cannot imagine working with better, more competent people. elled against IV. There appears to be a claim to possess all truth, truth, though I We will miss you dearly. rampant misunderstanding, however, have never met In our positions as editors, we have learned from Rice's commu- as to the proper application of the though I have never met such a such a Christian in word "intolerant": specifically, that to nity and our staff. You have both shown us that nothing is impos- my 21 years. In- believe something uniquely true re- Christian in my 21 years. deed, the Bible sible if a group of dedicated and talented people will work together quires intolerance of conflicting ideas. warns us that our and sacrifice a little to get it You have taught us that decisions are Webster defines "tolerate" as "to thoughts are not as often hard, but that they are only hard because they are the right recognize and respect others' beliefs approach the issue without presuppo- God's thoughts (i.e. truth). The Bible without necessarily agreeing with sitions; how then can we be said to ones. dpes not claim to contain all truths in them" (my emphasis). Thus, one make a reasonable choice?True, Bib- all areas (calculus, to give an obvious —Leezie Kim and Chad Carson would not be intolerant for believing lical Christianity rests on certain pre- example). Nor should individual Chris- suppositions, foremost being faith in tians claim to know every last truth r the infallible authority of the Bible. which the Bible does hold. Rather, ¥ • Ul£__/ I a| "I Letters But it is equally true that Christianity Christians claim that the Bible, not does not require its adherents to be- human reason, is the final word on lieve that all ideas are equal; that ex- those matters to which it speaks, and THE EDITOR pectation is simply not a part of Chris- that it speaks on all matters of spiritual Rice Thresher tianity, and in order to "respect" Chris- relevance to mankind. This claim may Leezie Kim, Chad Carson something (e.g. Christianity) to be tianity, one must allow it to work un- be rejected, but any critique of Chris- Editors-in-Oiief true; intolerance would be denying der its own presuppositions, not an tianity which denies this presupposi- others the right to disagree with you. externally imposed (i.e. extra-biblical) tion merely makes the useless obser- Is this the case with IV, or with set vation that Christianity will not stand Shane A, Speciale evangelical Christianity in general? Martin and McFarland make simi- on the foundation of non-Christian Business Manager The only evidence seems to be a flier lar unwarranted assumptions about assumptions. which presents a controversial belief Christianity throughout their letters. This misunderstanding is the cen- (that Christianity has a unique claim For instance, McFarland asserts that tral problem with both letters, for both NEWS PHOTOGRAPHY to truth). The flier does not espouse "the pursuits [of all religions] are es- gentlemen criticize the ramifications Eric Carmichael, Kraettli Epperson Barbara Solon Editor ostracism of those who disagree, nor sentially the same," but his unstated see Christianity, page 3 Editors Chris Sonneborn Assistant Editor does it even suggest that everyone Melissa Williams, Amy Jeter Assistant Sarah Emery, Alyssa Terk must agree with it; it merely claims a Editors specific point of view to be truth. Haley S. Robertson S/4 SPORTS In fact, Christianity's reaction to its WRC beer-bike shirts offend Correspondent David Hale Editor claim of unique truth is exactly that To the editors: use as a theme of their festivities some- Monnie McGee GSA Correspondent Terzah Ewing Assistant Editor mentioned by McFarland: a life of I am the parent of a student aPRice thing that degrades and defames the Sara Maurer, Shala Phillips, Patricia Erica Levine, Tony Tran, Stuart "compassion, love, and faithfulness" University. Recently on the Rice cam- deity worshipped and held sacred by I in, Sanjit Ganguli, Kevin Mistry, Krohn.JasonKatz, Lynanne Foster, toward man which flows from a God- pus an event occurred that has of- the major religions in the United Jean Kosela, Keith Hoffman,Torrey Riva Rahl, Tim Lam given love whose ultimate end is the fended me as a member of the Chris- States. I am sure that if the Muslim Polk, Terzah Ewing glory of God. One who truly under- tian faith. God Allah, Buddha, or even Martin PRODUCTION stood the truth of Christ would not use On Saturday, March 20, Will Rice Luther King were portrayed in a like OPINION Josh Denk Production Manager his faith as a weapon of hate toward College held their annual Beer Bike-a- degrading manner, there would be an John McCoy Editor Kei Furukawa Copy Editor others, so an ad hominem argument thon which I understand is a beer- uproar fromthe community that would Jym Schwartz Columnist outlining the failures of specific Chris- chugging, bike-racing contest-atypi- not go unheard. BUSINESS tians is not a critique of the standard cal college-type festivity to which I Officials and administrators or ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT Shane A. Speciale Ads Manager they fail to follow. have no objection. However, the T- Wee, some of your students gave your Jenny Salomon, Shaila Dewan George D. Nickas Ads Production Addressing some specifics in shirt worn by the participants was in university a black eye this week. A Editors Katherine A. McKee Assistant Martin's and McFarland's letters, I my opinion highly objectionable and person of good taste and character Jill Salomon, Tima Bell, Marc Hirsh, Business Manager find their definitions of faith so vague in very poor taste. does not use his "free-speech" rights Eric Stotts, William Li as to lack clear application to daily life, On this T-shirt was a screen print to ridicule the handicapped, make ra- © COPYRIGHT 1993 but it is clear that their arguments of M ichelangelo's Sistene Chapel ren- cial and ethnic slurs, or insult BACKPAGE hinge on 1) their definitions of faith dition of the god of the Christian faith someone's mother. Neither does he Erica Ollmann, John Tolle Editors Phone: 527-4801 and 2) the a priori assumption that as he is creating the universe. As a defame the things held sacred and they themselves are not mistaken. Christian, having our God as the "mas- worshipped by others. The Rice Thresher, the official student newspaper at Rice University since 1916, is published each Friday during the school year, except during examination periods Both Martin and McFarland rightly cot" of a beer-chugging contest is in It grieves me as a student parent to and holidays, by the students of Rice University. Editorial and business offices are assert that evangelical Christianity itself extremely offensive and irrever- have lost some of the respect and located on the second floor of the Ley Student Center, P.O. Box 1892, Houston, holds to different definitions of faith ent. However, on the Will Rice T-shirt admiration I had for your institution; Texas, 77251. Advertising information available on request. Mail subscription and truth than those proposed in their version, God is also holding a can of and itgrievesmeeven more that these rate per semester $20.00 domestic, $40.00 international via first class mail. letters. The logical approach would be beer in his hand, as if to cheer on the students choose to dishonor the God Non-subscription rate: first copy free, second copy $1.00. Letters to the editor to compare the two definitions of each beer-chugging bikers. that I love. must be received by 5 p.m. on the Monday prior to publication. Unsigned editorials term, using each as the basis for a I cannot imagine why a group of represent the majority opinion of the Thresher Editorial Staff. All other pieces critique of the systems which depend Anne W. Cutcher represent the opinion of the author. Obviously. supposedly high-caliber students, who on them. Unfortunately, neither letter can adhere to an honor code, would Shreveport, LA OPINION THE RICE THRESHER FRIDAY, APRIL 2, 1993 3 We may have stolen their land, but they,ll have our money soon what "Speaking Rock Casino" (this is feel like someone cut off your scalp then came to the conclusion that it • 1900-1993 - Crazy white men's gov- by Jym Schwartz the actual name, I'm not making it up) the next day, but you also get a hand- was, in fact, a fabulous plan. To fully ernment apologized for the behavior will look like, especially if you've ever some souvenir mug. We hope you appreciate this revelation, one must of crazy white men in the past and When I first read about it, it struck been to Las Vegas. Personally, I envi- have a pleasant stay, and always keep consider the historical prospective: offered the few Native Americans left me as a bad idea. I thought, "These sion a large, semi-circular driveway in mind the white zone is for loading • pre-1642 - The Native Americans living some really miserable pieces of people are giving up their heritage. presided over by a towering neon sign and unloading passengers only." lived in peace (relatively speaking). dirt as compensation since everything They're giving up an image of incor- and a massive fountain in the middle But enough of the stereotypes. • 1642-1700-Crazy white men began else is gone. ruptibility. They're trading higher con- of it all which features a hollow fiber- Keeping this in mind, their plan cerns for base greed." Imagine it: the glass rock broadcasting a recorded and the future of this story seems message: Imagine it: the Tigua Indians have pretty obvious: "Howdy to the children of the • 1993-2100-Native Americans wise people that stole our lands. Welcome reversed their anti-gambling position, and up and decide to beat these illegal to Speaking Rock Family Entertain- aliens at their own game. They open ment Center. Our facilities here in- they now plan, in conjunction with a Swiss casinos where crazy white men come chide60 gaming tables, 300machines, and spend all their money. Amassing high-stakes bingo, three indoor pools, company, to open a 70-million-dollar enough wealth, they are able to buy and nightly performances by the Danc- back all their lands and kick out every- ing Pocahontases. Dont forget you 'family entertainment center.' one who wasn't here in the first place. Tigua Indians of western Texas have can leave your children in the Big At any rate, that's the way it would reversed their anti-gambling position. Wigwam Playroom. And after a long happen if there was any justice in this And now they plan, in conjunction night of gambling, you may want to After all, there is a possibility this claiming their lands, driving them ou t world. Things may not work out that with a Swiss company, to open a 70- take the express elevator to the top place could be quite nice and tasteful. killing them off, and giving them dis- way, but you know I'll be there the day million-dollar "family entertainment and have a few drinks in the Happy Of course, there is also a possibility eases they never knew existed. Speaking Rock Casino opens, helping center." Hunting Ground Lounge. Their spe- that Elvis will return from outer space • 1700-1800 - Crazy white men esca- the Tigua get back something we all Well, it's pretty safe to assume you cialty is a drink we like to call the in a sequined UFO just in time to save lated claiming their lands, driving them owe them. all have some kind of mental picture of Tomahawk: not only will it make you the world with a miracle diet plan and out killing them off, and giving them Besides, I wouldn't want to miss run for president in "96. In otherwords, diseases they never knew existed. the Dancing Pocahontases. odds are this place will be a travesty of • 1800-1900 - Crazy white men began Campus Crusaded name a mockery of something which once to run out of lands to claim, people to Jym Schwartz is a first-year graduate was in good taste during the mid-70s. drive out or kill, and virulent diseases student in the department of Geology displays lack of sensitivity But having considered all of this, I to share. and Geophysics. To the editors: to criticize the Christian Crusades as Before I graduate this spring, I feel particularly wrong or vicious examples HEALTHY MALES WANTED AS SEMEN DONORS: it my responsibility to draw attention of wars; I believe all wars are cruel to an issue which seems to have been tragedies. It is not even to criticize overlooked by the Rice community at those CCC members who might con- laige. My concerns pertain to the name sider the Christian Crusades as mor- Fairfax Cryobank needs healthy young men as semen donors: of the most populated organization at ally good, based on their faith that Rice, Campus Crusade for Christ Christianity is the right way to be. I can Excellent compensation; Help Infertile Couples; Confidentiality (CCC). Four years ago, when I came comfortably assume that physical force Ensured; Ages 18 to 35; located in the Texas Medical Center. from Turkey to Rice as a freshman, I is not a method CCC would use to was determined to stay open to almost convert non-Christians, even though Call Fairfax Cryobank at 799-9937 every new experience. As I grew more some of its members tend to be quite comfortable with the American way of aggressive. life, some activities presented them- My goal is a more general one of selves more appealing than others. inviting people to become more sensi- CCC was among the many organi- tive to other peoples, cultures, and re- FAIRFAX CRYOBANK zations I was introduced to during my ligions. I do not doubt that many mem A division of timid firstmonthsasa foreign student bers of the Rice community would find THE GENETICS Si I. V.F. INSTITUTE Unfortunately, the person who tried to it distasteful if the Muslim Student recruit me was rather rude and igno- Association decided to call itself the rant in his approach. However, the Islamic Jihad. Yet "jihad" shares the idea of a "crusade for Christianity" had same meaning of "holy war" with the had a negative impact on me already. Crusades for Christ For many Ameri- For me, the name "crusade" carried cans, the reason for finding "Islamic strong historical echoes of armed Jihad" a disturbing name would be Christian men raging into equally personal as mine. They would Constantinople, and through Anatolia, associate the word "jihad" with the continuing eastwards to win back the "jihad of Saddam Hussein." DiTTOX Holy Land from the Muslims between Still, it is not necessary to have V the 11th and 13th centuries. The looted personal reasons to consider some- Constantinople - now I stanbul - is the thing as disrespectful or of bad taste. city I was born and raised in; Anatolia Perhaps not many people have been constitute s my country's mainland and insulted by the name of CCC. That is home to many relatives and friends; does not change the fact that choosing the people whose lives were hanned names like Campus Crusade for Christ o. were my ancestors. or the Islamic Jihadis rude and thought- COLOR ^•1 My first reaction to such a careless less in itself Such careless behavior LASER and thoughtless name was emotional: especially contradicts the principles of COPIES I was intimidated despite myself. How- a university like ours which welcomes (20# a/12 X 1 1) ever, I still feel insulted by the affinity people of diverse backgrounds and not that the organization's name suggests merely Christian Americans. to a historical period which had been hurtful to many. Sinem Eryilmaz if Copies, Copies, Copies... My aim in writing this letter is not Wieas '93 If Color Copies of ritual and location of worship with- If PC Sl Mac Rental Christianity out any reference to the principles if Typewriter Rental from page 2 which generate them None of this is meant as "proof of if Fax Services of Christianity without any serious Christianity as truth, or even as proof if Resume Services critique ofthe underlying assumptions of its internal consistency, such dis- of Christianity. Martin disregards out- cussion is not only beyond the scope if Specialty Papers right Christianity's claim to an abso- of this letter, but ultimately, beyond if Transparencies lute and unique truth, citing only alter- the domain of logic Rather, I encour- nate opinions as implicitly preferable age all who see the fliers to recognize if GBC & Velo Binding (for reasons unknown). that they are a natural and reasonable if Folding & Stapling These unsubstantiated opinions outflowing from the teachings of are the basis for his assault on IV. This Christ and, if not to agree with the if Oversize Copies refusal to examine Christianity on its fliers, at least to treat them with "re- if Student Discounts own terms neither "recognizes" nor spect" not use them as media for "respects" Christianity (see the above graffiti. if Faculty Discounts definition of "tolerate^. Both sides of Christianity advocates acceptance if Senior Citizen Discounts this debate could quote "experts" on of (not agreement with) all men, re- the Bible who support their claims. gardless of their beliefs. In this vein, I But for a Christian, the opinions of acknowledge Martin's and men are irrelevant in the face of God's McFarland's right to disagree with % revelation of Himself in scripture, and me (a right they seem to deny IV). X He is neither silent norvague on these The Bible presents saving faith as points. a choice; like any other choice, it has Similarly, McFarland's "critique" consequences. But if I, or any other DJXIIOX of Christianity's claim to exclusive re- Christian, choose to understand faith demption contains only an alternate and truth in a certain light and to live oo^\e^ idea on the nature of faith, without any out our beliefs as if they matter, it is real objection to Christ's claim that the ultimate in intolerance to deride only faith in Him is effectual for salva- us for doing So. More than a copy center tion. Instead of comparing his alterna- tive idea to Christianity in any system Robert Berman 2035 S.W. Freeway @ Shepherd 77098 atic way, he addresses surface issues SRC '93 — 942-7500 FAX 942-7535 — 4 FRIDAY, APRIL 2, 1993 THE RICE THRESHER OPINION Thresher should more carefully handle charges of classroom sexism AN AVALANCHE BURIES PUKE! L0N6 GOT A BIG \ INTBRBS7BP? ITHASN'T I PON T, ITS CALLED PITCH A COLORADO MAN IN To the editors: TIME, BABE! ONE FOR YOU, ' IT'S A KILLER! YET. BUT IT BUT TALK "PRESUME V ME,BABE! HIS CABIN FOR !Z PAYS. The editorial page of the Thresher is not an MAKE ME SIP/A TRUE UJHEN PIP THIS COULP,IF TO ME, BABE! PEAP." I'M HUM IT MIRACULOUSLY HE SUR-HAPPEN YOU FOLLOW appropriate forum to present allegations of HAPPY I STORY! MAPE PUSH MY THINKING TOOKTHIS FOR-TV CITY! IN! \ VIVES. IN7ERESTEPIN MY MEAN- sexism or among Rice faculty, there is a clear BUTTONS! NICHOLSON ^ CALL .' PEPPUNG THE RIGHTS? \ ^vsg&K^xASME procedure for registering such complaints ~\ OKAY? within the university. Although Payne, the author of the Sriginal letter, appears to have made an effort to main- tain the anonymity of the professor he accuses of teaching "economic sexism," to anyone in- volved in the economics department, the iden- tity of this professor is quite obvious. Surely the editors of the Thresher were able to figure this out as well. Before printing Payne's letter, the editors should have examined the issue more closely. The professor should have known about LAY IT ^ I START AN AVALANCHE this letter before it was released to the entire I'VE ALWAYS AT THE LASTMINUTE.I RE- WHAT IF THE I ALREADY OUTFOR ANP BURY THE PLACE. EVERY- HAP A TUNNEL TURN THROUGH THE TUNNEL. HOAX. IS SOLD THOSE ME, PUKE ONE THINKS I'VE BEEN BURJEP 011 OUT OF MY ITS THE SURVIVAL STORY OF PISCOVEREP RIGHTS TO TALKTO ALIVE. FOR 12 DAYS, RESCUERS CABIN HERE, THE CENTURY! YOU SELL THE ANP YOU GO FOX. PONT PAPASIP! P!6 FEVERISHLY TO REACH ME... Historically, woman have OKAY? SO TV RIGHTS FOR*2 MILLION! WE TO JAIL GET GREEPY, HERE'STHE o ALL UVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER! SIP. PLAN.,. participated more 0 1 * actively in less-educated and lower paid sectors of the work force. This is not opinion; it is a fact which is supported by real data. WHAT'S ALL NO, WE'RE GONNA TO MAKE PEOPLE THINK WhfYMOULD YOU T'VFfVTT MV JEBPERS,,, YOU'RE FINALLY THEPYNAMTTE START ANAVA- IMHATON I'VE BEEN BUR/EPALIVE.WAKTT0FAK5 ? SOUNPS STARTING TO THINK campus and should have been given the oppor- fOR, 5tR U£F£ LANCHE TO BURY EARTH WHEN THE RESCUERS YOUR OWN NEAR- UK3 A LIKE AN AMERICAN, NOTGOINGFISH- THE CABIN. FINALLY REACH THE PEATH, SIR? tunity to respond to these allegations prior to MAPE-FOR- HONEY. publication. ING AGAIN, ARE CABIN, I'LL SNEAK In last week's letters to the editor, we found WE? out that Payne is not even in the labor econom- ics class. He was not even present for the lecture that contained the so-called sexism. V Perhaps the ThresherhaAno wayto have know this, but it certainly shows that such letters of accusation should be more fully investigated and not printed for the purpose of sensational- ism. Having taken the "upper level economics class," I can only believe that Payne misinter- preted statements relating to gender-based discrimination. He claims that "the professor HOWS THIS GO SIMPLE. THE RESULTING AVALANCHE UM... AREN'T YOU ^ 0 YOU PONT claimed as fact that females are predisposed at a ING TO WORK I BLOW BURIES MY CABIN. WE SIT I OVERLOOKING ONE Pf HAVEANY OKAY birth to certain occupations," although how he AGAIN,5IR? UP THE TIGHT FOR A PAYOR TWO UNTIL SMALL PETAIL, SIR? \ \ ^HAZ FRIENPS. CONCERNEP / nUfyt^i. knows this is questionable. NORTH AUTHORITIES ARE FINALLY /v „ CREPITORS, RJPGE... ALERTEP BY CONCERNED Historically, woman have participated more THEN actively in the lesseducated and lower paid FRJENPS... A sector of the work force. This is not opinion; it is a fact which is supported by real data. Eco- nomics is used as a tool to model behavior and V - must rely on past trends and known facts in order to predict the future. Hence the assertion that women "prefer" to work in lower level employment is based on the fact that in the past this has been the case, not that it will always be the case or that it should be the case. Stating that women are more likely to pur- sue certain career paths based upon their gen- der does not necessarily imply that their future THREE... PAMN. GO PONT YOU WANT economic behavior is somehow encoded in TWO...ONE.. mffT?6£T RESET THE TOGO LISTEN FOR their genes. This is not a genetic issue, as W1VM! I'Ik OUTA HERB! CHARGES, FAINT CRIES FOR Payne contends, but rather an attempt to fash- Nomvrr. HONEY. HELP, \ HEUO, AVALANCHEli WRONG v S,R? ion a pattern of behavior from economic data. BYE-BYE, HOUSE! \\ HOUSE, SIR K It is impossible to integrate the many "more powerful social influences" that affect decision making and employment preferences for ev- ery single man and woman into a working economic model. The issue of sexism in the workplace or in the classroom is extremely delicate and vola- tile. Publishing the original letter without in- vestigating the author's claims could cause some undeserved negative implications for the accu sed professor. Any letterofthisform should be forwarded to the proper authorities for in- PUKE! PUT IT'S A GO, SIP. THE RESCUE CREW WONT REACH HOLD IT, PUKE, quiry and not printed carelessly. SAY, I WHO yF.„ OUR PROJECTTHE CABINS UN- ME FOR AT LEAST A WEEK, SO WHAT CREW? PONT WORRY, YMf INTOPEVEL PER GO FEET OF I'M OFF TV KILL SOME TIME IN WHAT IF NO I'VE GOT IT HAVEN'T SEEN THE 7 OPMENTYET?SNOW ANP ICE. MEXICO. YOU CAN CALL MY ONE NOTICES COVEREP... PUKBLATELY. HELL Kay Somers BEEPER IF YOU'RE MISS- / I HOPE HE'S CARES? WJess ^3 YOU GET A OKAY! PEAL. Editor's note: The Thresher staff did consult I with two members of the class in order to deter- mine what was said in the lecture. Having verified that the discription of the incident was fairly presented, we felt that Payne's interpreta- tion of those facts was not wholly unreasonable. It is the policy of the opinion section not to release articles before publication, unless time constraints prevent a response. UMM1M NEWS THE RICE THRESHER FRIDAY, APRIL 2, 1993 5 GSA Business Rice accepts 12 percent of '93 applicants The Graduate Student Association Senate met March 25. The following items were discussed: The applicant pools differed in are women," Stabell said. •Dean of Graduate Students Graham Glass discussed the new tuition by Jean Kosela size and acceptance rates, however. and Keith Hoffman The middle 50 percent of the class increase. The reduced-rate tuition, for graduate students who have of 1997's SAT scores ranged from Under regular decision, 6,545 stu- been at Rice for three years (orfortwo years if they came to Rice with 1320 to 1470. Last year's middle 50 dents applied, while only 1,856 stu- a master's degree), has been increased to $600 per year. The Rice Office of Admission percent range was 1307 to 1466. SAT dents applied under interim decision. •The budget for next year will be voted on at the May meeting. Any mailed rejection letters last week to ranges for regular- and interim-deci- Twenty-three percent of interim more than 5,700 hopeful high school applicants were admitted, but the suggestions should go to one of the officers or your GSA department seniors. regular-decision acceptance rate was representative. "We considered6,545applications We admitted 819 just 12 percent •The GSA needs a Yellow Pages editor. Names of nominees should [under regular decision]. We admit- "Oftentimes, the most savvy and be given to your department representative. A decision will be made ted 819 [students]...54percent men [students]... 54 percent the strongest applicants apply under at the next meeting. and 46 percent women," Dean of interim decision," explained Eric •The GSA spring picnic is tentatively scheduled for April 23. There may Admissions and Records Richard men and 46 percent - Heineman, assistant admissions di- also be enough extra funds in the party budget for those who would Stabell said. rector. like a subsidy for a department party. While the ratio of men to women women. Some regular-decision applicants •There will be an intramural track meet sometime this spring. If you admitted will not necessarily be the are students deferred from interim are interested in joining the GSA track team, talk to Rob Thomson same as the ratio that chooses to decision. "In interim decision we have at ext. 3009 or come by the track on Tuesdays at 5 p.m. and attend, the ratio that matriculates •Richard Stabell the option to defer the applicant until Saturdays at 2 p.m. We also need people to help set up. should be less skewed than that of regular decision," Heineman said. the class of 1994, when 63 percent sion admissions are comparable. "Realize, during interim decision, Next meeting: April 15 at 6:30 p.m. in the second-floor conference was male. Sixty-four percent of the accepted we're making this decision with three room of the RMC. "Thirty-four percent of the stu- applicants are from out of state. Stu- years of high school grades. We like to wait and see what the first semes- dents accepted for engineering in dents admitted under regular deci- —compiled by Monnie McGee regular decision are women.... Forty- sion are similar to interim-decision ter senior grades are," he said. five percent of the [regular-decision] students in terms of male-to-female Interim decision applicants also acceptances in the science division and in-state to out-of-state ratios. may be deferred to allow the Office Admission to select more students Crimestats from the regular-decision applicant for the week ending March 13 pool. "We want to see what we're Phi Beta Kappa going to have in regular [decision]," BUILDING DATE INCIDENT The following students were elected to the academic honor society Phi Heineman said. Chemistry 3/10 Bike taken from bike rack. Beta Kappa for 1993: Heineman noted, however, that regular-decision applicants are not Sewall 3/13 Wallet taken from office. Baker College: necessarily less serious about attend- ing Rice. "[There is] not a big differ- John Nicholas Ajay ELEC/MTEC COLLEGE DATE INCIDENT ence in yield between [those accepted Lovett 3/10 Unauthorized use of food code. Petros Lambros Andreou MECH under] interim and regular," he said. Gaurav Arora BIOL/PSYC Yield is the number of admitted stu- Lance Palmer Haines ELEC/SPAN dents in a group who accept Rice's PARKING LOT DATE INCIDENT Susan Ya-Ping Jew BIOC admission offer. Lovett Lot 3/11 Pasenger-side window broken and Delia Poon POLI/POST Interim and regular decisions do stereo taken. Eric Daniel Roche CHEM not include athletes, who undergo a Jones College 3/13 Vehicle stolen from lot. separate admissions process. Brown College: Bernard T. Barcio ELEC/COMP Raymond Earl Brizendine POLI Harassment raises rental-policy questions Keith Eric Carmichael MATH/HIST/ECON Nicholas James Curro PHYS/MATH by Sanjit Ganguli "When the likelihood of damage garding misbehavior of high school David Ben Diamond MECH/HIST is high, Rice should either charge students after any athletic event tak- Fatemeh Ebtehaj PSYC schools enough to cover the cost of ing place on campus. Stanley Jen Hsue ENGL/POLI The harassment of Ijovett sopho- additional security, or just not invite If significant damage were to oc- Garrick F. Mitchell MECH more David Haas by students appar- them," he wrote. cur during a high school event, there Eric Christopher Sachs MANA/COMP ently not from Rice has called into Steve Moniaci, assistant athletic would be serious consideration over >» Valerie Victoria Vigil ENGL/POLI questions Rice's policy ofrenting ath- director, said Rice exercises no se- whether or not to host the event in letic facilities to area high schools lectivity when it rents out its facilities the future, Moniaci said. and colleges. to outside parties. Certain criteria, In reference to the incident in the Hanszen College: Haas was caught in traffic on cam- including the renter's ability to pay parking lot, Moniaci stated he wasn't Matthew S. Crouse ELEC pus after a high school basketball and damaged incurred by a renter in notified of such an event. He has Lewis Wayne Flanagin CENG playoff game in the past, are used to determine the been assured by RUPD, however, Jacob Kooter Laading ELEC/PHYS NfiWfi February. Some fee for the facility. that there always are officers moni- Bob Robinson Maughon, Jr. CHEM „ students, who did toring the area during and after such not seem Moniaci said damage after high Sean Michael McCrossin COMP . Analysis t° be school athletic events, such as painted athletic events. Cornelia Maria Verspoor CGSC/COMP from Rice, sur- graffiti, broken seats, and stopped- "We do everything in our power rounded his car, shouted obscenities up toilets, is rather commonplace. to minimalize [opportunities to dam- and started hitting the car. He claims "You're always going to have age the facilities] through security, Jones College: something happen," Moniaci said. monitoring and ushering corps," 'Shannon Nicole Barefield ENGL to have suffered $120 in damage. After the incident, Haas called the "You'd get the same things happen- Moniaci said. "I guess that's been Marcella Elaine Barnhart POLI campus police; but, at the advice of ing after a Rice game." pretty effective, since we've had no Beth A. Bromley HIST an officer, he did not file a report When such incidents occur, the complaints." Amy Jo Downey ECON/MANA Haas said the officer told him he felt schools responsible are charged ac- TTirough the years, Rice has Paul Mischa Gregory RUSS/ECON the damage was too minimal to jus- cording to the extent of the damage, rented out all of its athletic facilities. Angela Beth Lampkin BIOC tify filling out the paperwork. but are not barred from competing at The Rice Stadium has hosted high Stephen John Peterson PHIL Haas stated in a letter to the Rice again. school and college football games Thresher March 19 that he saw no "If you did that, you wouldn't get and band concerts. Autry Court is a Lovett College: RUPD officers near Autry Court, anybody renting out the facilities," common site for high school playoff Moniaci said. games, since their basketball rules Pamela Barrera BIOC „ where the game was played. He did Moniaci said there has never been state that playoffs must be played on Paul Whitton Carter PHYS/MATH see one officer on the opposite side of any "significant" damage as a result neutral courts. The track stadium Bradley Scott Dooley MECH the Shepherd School and another cruising through the stadium park- of a high school event, and that he hosts an annual track meet for Strake Shay Christina Gregory SWAG/HIST/SOCI ing lot after the incident. has never received a complaint re- Jesuit College Preparatory. Bradley Paul Smith POLI/MTEC Michael L. Sohaskey BIOC Shravan Talwar MASC Erica Ruth Worth ECON/POST/MANA Baptist students start 24-hour prayer vigil by Torrey Folk God at all times," Gerston said. "I the full 24 hours. About 45 students Sid Richardson College: think there are a lot of Christians participated. Elizabeth McGee Bailey POU/POST/FREN who believe it is necessary to pray, "I think it has been successful in The Baptist Student Union has but they often leave it until the last that we can grow in the number of Metin Bayram ELEC begun holding a 24-hour prayer vigil minute—like right before bed." Pray- people. There are more than 4 5 C h ri s- Charles Korbin King MANA/SOCI the last Thursday of each month, in ing 24 hours illustrates that students tians at Rice. If we can get more than Sunil B. Kripalani PSCY order to serve the needs of Christian can communicate with God at all one person to pray at a time, that can Elizabeth Juliette Lock BEHA/SOCI students better. times, he said. enhance it," Gerston said. Steven Harold Rodrigues COMP/ECON "We felt that there were a lot of Wh ile the vigil is a Christian eve nt, Keith Johnson, who is working needs in the lives of students on the ^Gerston and Aghcraft agree that they with Gerston, is trying to reserve the Wless College: Rice campusthatneeded to be prayed would not object if students of other chapel for next year's prayer vigils. Eric Gideon Barchas CHEM for," said BSU director Joyce religions wished to participate. "Our "[Student Center Director] Dave Joseph Westbrook Fowler PHYS Ashcrafl. purpose is not to exclude ahyone," Anderson is concerned about secu- Jill Michelle Greene ENGL "We didn't start it in reaction to saysAshcrafL "I'm notgoing to check rity, but I'm still going to try and reserve it for the full 24 hours,"John- David Allen Harvey HIST/SPAN/FREN any particular thing," said John ID cards at the door." Gerston, a BSU member. The vigil son said. Erin L. Kelly SOCI There is no way we can tell them welcomes students with personal, Bertram Jason Stemmier PHYS they can't pray with us," Gerston said. Johnson also hopes the idea will campus, or global concerns. Students "I doubt they wouldn't realize it's a extend beyond the BSU. "1 want to write their prayers on note cards and(frM3hri§|ian event—but it's fine if they see it moved to more of a student-run Will Rice CoHef£e: R I \ C I l> L E S of SO L X I) R E I I R E M E X 1 I X V E S I I X G be involved in a "purely academic matter." "I think many Baptists would be embarrassed living in the Garden of Eden. Serious students of art should be permitted to study physiology and tOg anatomy for artistic purposes," he said. A similar course is offered by at \*S5 least one other university founded by Baptists. Wake Forest University in Winston-Salem, N.C., which has a "fraternal relationship" with the North Carolina Baptist State Con- vention, has offered the course for at least 20 years, according to Brian Eckert, Wake Forest's director of media relations. "The" chairman of the art depart- ment tells me that this [nude-figure- drawing class] has not been an issue in American art since the 1880s," Eckert said. Source: Houston Chronicle, March 20,1993

Baylor refuses to support homosexual lifestyle 0Q^ President Herbert H. Reynolds & stated that Baylor University would not support the homosexual lifestyle. The remark was made during a stu- dent forum held in early February. UNFORTUNATELY, THIS IS WHERE The Lariat quotes Reynolds remark- ing that Baylor's concerns lay prima- rily with "groups that actively advo- PEOPLE ARE PUTTING cate homosexuality and its political agenda" TOO MANY RETIREMENT DOLLARS. "It is...the policy of the govern- ment board, and it is my own feeling, money you don't send to Washington that to advocate the homosexual very year, a lot of people make a lifestyle is not something that we can E huge mistake on their taxes. They works even harder for you. Down the road, that can make a dramatic difference condone.... If someone decided on << don't take advantage of tax deferral and the campus that they wanted to hold •3 in your quality of life. •s wind up sending Uncle Sam money they a meeting in [the Bill Daniel Student 3 could be saving for retirement. What else makes SRAs so special? Center] for a gay or lesbian group, A range of allocation choices—from the we would not permit that," Reynolds Fortunately, that's a mistake you can stated. easily avoid with TIAA-CREF SRAs. guaranteed security o( TIAA to the Reynolds insisted that Baylor does SRAs not only ease your current tax- diversified investment accounts ol notdiscriminate on the basis of sexual bite, they offer a remarkably easy way CREF's variable annuity—all backed preference, since neither student to build retirement income—especially by the nation's number one retirement admissions nor faculty and staff ap- system. plications ask questions about sexual for the "extras" that your regular pension Why write off the chance tor a more orientation. Baylor University, which and Social Security benefits may not is affiliated with the Baptists, follows cover. Because your contributions are rewarding retirement? Call today and the biblical perspective on homosexu- made in before-tax dollars, you pay less learn more about how TIAA-CREF ality, however, and refuses to con- taxes now. And since all earnings on SRAs can help you enjoy many done its practice. The university is happy returns. prepared to back their stance in a your SRA are tax-deferred as well, the court of law. Benefit now from tax Aeferral. Call our SRA hotline 1 800-842-2733, ext. 8016. "Sure, there is no question about it We might lose, but at the same QZ22 time we feel this is something that we 75 years of ensuring the future need to take a position on," Reynolds 19 for those who shape itT stated. CRF.F certificate.' are ihstributeJ by TIAA-CREF InJictJual am) Institutional Services. For more complete information. inclmhnQ charge.' ,tn<> fxpenses call I e.xt. ,*<>M Source: The Ixiriat, Baylor Uni- for ,i prospectus. Rea<> the prospectus carefully before you incest or send money. versity, Feb.9,1993 8 FRIDAY, APRIL 2, 1993 THE RICE THRESHER ARTS AND ENTERTAINMENT

SEARCH AND DESTROY KAMN BROKER appear* again, this time in collaboration with students from the Art League's HIV art out- Rollins turns angst into pseudo-eloquence for spoken tour reach program. Houston artist JAMES

BTTTISOM and others also partici- HENRY ROLLINS' SPOKEN WORD TOUR pated In the creation of these 10 PLACE, NUMBER TIME, HOW MUCH etchings, titled "Endangered." Opens

tonight, 6 to 8 p.m., at the Art League of BY TIMA BELL Houston, 19B3 Montrose. Thru Apr. 23. You're out drinking with your friends and there's that guy who's always telling stories. Da Camera concludes its electrifying He's the guy that you think is funny when you're Crossover Seriee with Move Over, really intoxicated, but sober, you wish he would Beethoven, performed by Jazz sextets shut the fuck up. Meet, or hear, Henry Rollins. The one time and classical septets. Featuring the lead singer of the seminal punk rock band Black JSMMY HEATM/SUOC HAMPTON Sextet, ac- Flag, and now the lead singer of the adolescent claimed by both the New York Times swill band The Rollins Band has a new and the VHIaga Voice. Rice faculty mem- ick. Rollins calls it spoken word concerts, and others bers in the performance include PAUL have even gone so far EUJSON, NORMAN FMCHER, BENJAMIN KAMMS as to call it poetry. and SOKMU LUCA. Frl., April 16, 8 Unfortunately all he's really doing is telling p.m. 524-5050. stories. His new disc The Boxed Life is 17 Sprawl wiH hold an at- of these stories. These A bumrelease party for are stories that artistically would fall The Man with somewhere between the Yellow Hat the master of the tomorrow night at Numbers. Get down spoken word, Spalding Gray, and stand up with the Hammond. Bleach Bath opens. comedian Denis Leary. Somehow, between concerts and running his publishing company, he 300 Westhetmer, 526*551. AH ages. has found time to get up on stage and tell us $8. some stories. I would suggest he find some of his drunk friends, but obviously they have had A budding scholar In our mlsdt? Maybe not, but Rollins can sura sport some specs. enough of him. Now that the Sues angel has officially Rollins is a tower of angst and tattoos. He's seems to have a decent rappaport with his obvious in almost all of the stories. His constant been noticed, she's releasing her al- angry at everything from planes to stupid audience. But, as much as he plays the part of the jokes about shit, sex and women only enhance bum, Groove Milk. CAROLYN WONDERLAND Australians, but it is a sort of wondrous anger. angst performer, one can also sense his fear and this criticism. He is quoted as saying he will keep and the Imperial Monkeys will celebrate Instead of venting it like rage, which he does his need to strike out In a way his stories remind pushing himself, "working toward total self- through his music, it comes out to the listener as you of the teenager who doesn't, and never will, containment and total self-control," but the image tomorrow night at Dan Electro's Guitar a new adventure in emotion. He uses his angst to express his feelings openly. Rollins seems to projected on he CD is more of a child jumping up Bar in the Heights (862-8707). 10 p.m. power through most of the boring parts, and he have a childish view of the world, and this is SEE SPOKEN WORD, PAGE 11

WELL HAPPY BIRTHDAY ^bud have to be Born Yesterday to pay for this movie BY WILLIAM LI is visting Washington, D.C. in order to protect and Brock a thing or two as well. his business and make powerful connections. Veteran actor Goodman seems to have a This poorly written, poorly directed remake When Billie's obvious lack of sophistication knack for turning in strong performances despite of Garson Kanin's Broadway play Born causes him embarrassment, Brock hires reporter having weak material (case in point, Always). No Yesterday seems doomed from the first frame. Paul VeralL(Don Johnson) to "smarten her up." such luck for Born Yesterday. The depth of Born Yesterday stars Melanie Griffith as Billie Billie is immediately attracted to Verall, but Goodman's character is completely explored Dawn, a former Las Vegas showgirl who is the balks at improving her own mind. But after an before the last of the opening credits has faded constant companion of ruthless real estate oh-so-brief period of time, Billie goes about from the screen. Harry Brock is a bully by nature developer Harry Brock (John Goodman). Brock bettering herself, teaching Washington, Verall with a soft spot for Billie. Goodman tries to mingle passion, street smarts and good naturedness in the role. But his efforts are thwarted by too little screen time and no support from the script At worst Brock is a two-

* m m dimensional ogre, at best he is simply absurd. YU Spinal Tap is back in a just-for-video As Billie's earrings get release, The Return of Spinal Tap. Catch smaller, Billie gets up with NMEL, who for the past 9 years has organized Travel for Animals, a non- smarter. profit organization which helps animals None to my surprise, Don Johnson's wooden obtain passports for exotic vacations. performance hurt the entire the entire cast as he walked through his lines with the skill of a Available this week at video stores. television commercial hockster. Johnson is convincing neither as a reporter nor an intellec- Damned In the USA discusses the ever- tual. Johnson even fails to seem very attracted to hot topic of censorship of the arts, Melanie Griffith, which probably bodes poorly for their marriage. I have to say that Johnson has including Interviews wtth diverse folks had real trouble since his part in the The Long, from the Rev. DONALD WUMMON to Playboy's Hot Summer. CEO CHRISTIE HEFNER. Political comedy Melanie Griffith is the lone bright spot in this terrible film. Griffith seems well-suited to portray from Jmeov TINOLE, trial excerpts and talk an underestimated woman who seizes the of MAPPLETHORPE, too. This fMm was with- opportunity to realize her full potential. Perhaps held from (fstribution for seven months that is because she has had plenty of practice during court chaHengee from WRdmon after Shining Through, Pacific Heights and Working Girl. While the clich6 directing may over his repreeentation in the Mm. Brown blatantly draw attention to Griffith's more Auditorium, Museum of Hne Arts. Sat, obvious physical attributes, one amusing thing to April 10, 7:30 and 9:30 p.m. and Sun., watch is the size of Billie's earrings. As Billie's April 11, 7 p.m. 639-7515. $5. earrings get smaller, she gets smarter. Some movies ill-suited for the big screen have the potential to be big hits on home video, Take A Bite of the Apple—the Mac but this certainly is not one of those movies. The apple, that Is. The Houston's Women's potentially funny and compelling moments are poorly handled by the director, and the sappy Caucus for art presents an exhibit of moralistic ending only draws attention to the fact computergenerated images. Opens Frl., that the movie ends abruptly. But I suppose the continued on page 10 sudden ending is in anticipation of the audience's Johnson and Goodman accompany the befeweled Griffith on her embarrassing D.C. debut. tearing a path to the exit., ARTS AND ENTERTAINMENT THE RICE THRESHER FRIDAY, APRIL 2, 1993 9

NOTHIN' BOUT LITTLE OLE ME ^jjjp @®@® ©STf ROBERT BIY, F R 1 leader off the men's move- ment, wNI hold a poetry reading Sting summons listeners to tread endless ocean in Tales with musical accompaniment. Sponsored by Fondren Library and BY MARC HIRSH song, then I have no idea what it's about his audience to forget that he's an Artist with a Also of some concern is the new music that capital A. Unfortunately, ignoring his artistry the Men's Council of the Houston Area. Even when he's trying to loosen up, Sting is comes along with Sting's lyrics. Rather than also jettisons his talent. Sting should be able to 8 p.m., Stude Concert HaH, Free. still as pompous as anyone who calls himself assert his individuality, Sting chooses to test the do better than this. TODAY » THE LAST DAY TO sign up for faH "Sting." His latest album, Ten Summoner's waters of current pop music trends. The final The production of the album also hurts the Tales, is supposed to be a step away from the song, "Epilogue (Nothing 'Bout Me)," is buried overall package. Sancious' keyboards and an semester studio classes in the Art and deeper, complex emotionalism of his last two ever-present string section fjJJ up every conceiv- Art History department. Sign up in Sewall albums, ...Nothing Like The Sun and The Soul I have to ask whether able sonic gap in the album, leaving the listener HaH 429, 9 a.m. to noon and 1-5 p.m. Cages, written as catharsis after the deaths of his with little room to breathe. "Fields Of Gold" is Sign up sheets for film, video and photo mother and his father, respectively. Instead, we Sting recorded "She's built almost entirely around this sound, which get an album of pop songs that have the same was used to great effect on The Soul Cages. It's classes are at the Media Center. lush texture as the last, more tuneful, album, but Too Good For Me" with no longer a wall of sound but an ocean with no RICE PLAYERS: Write Onstage showcases pared down into radio-friendly edits. land in sight. Apparently Sting wants his listeners three one-acts, including one by Dean of What's left is the worst album that Sting has the express purpose of to tread water until he arrives. Engineering Michael Carroll and two ever released, an album that smacks of the sounding just like Sting does throw a life preserver every now concept of Adult Contemporary: I could see my and then. Although "It's Probably Me" isn't the student works. 8 p.m., Hamman Hall. parents listening to this and thinking they had just Kansas and Boston, two Eric Clapton/Michael Kamen version from $6 students. 527-4040. discovered a new talent It's just boring enough Lethal Weapon 3, the re-recording of it here is ®@®H> ©SU RICE CINEMA: TWO films by for them to like. bands that the Police one of the highlights of the album. "Seven Days" By avoiding Big Statements in general, Sting makes excellent use of the strings and is the director Frank Tashlbi and '50s super flounders whenever he brings larger issues into provided an alternative home of one of the singer's favorite private star Jayne Mansfield. The Girl Can't the picture. The western saga of "Love is jokes: throwing a line from one of his old songs Help It (1956), featuring Little Richard, Stronger Than Justice (The Munificent Seven)" onto the end of one of the new songs. Unfortu- for in the latter half of Fats Domino and other rock stars of the works because the story, in which a man kills his nately, this time he's used the line before, and the six brothers over a woman, naturally asks the 1970s. joke falls flat. Still, a bad joke in a good song is day, chronicles a dumb blonde's rise to complex questions of its narrator. When Sting better than a great joke in an awful tune, and the stardom, while poking fun at the enter tries importing similar ideas into simpler songs, under the weight of a ridiculous hip-hop beat A song is one of the better ones on the album. And talnment industry all the while. Will however, the results are less successful. The lesser example of the same phenomenon is found if you can stomach Sting's attempt at country Success Spoil Rock Hunter? (1957) co- fourth song, "Heavy Cloud No Rain" is probably in the best song on the album and the first single, music, "Love Is Stronger Than Justice" tells an about sexual and emotional frustration, but the "If I Ever Lose My Faith In You." interesting tale. stars Tony Randall and "represents four verses seem totally unrelated, referring at I have to ask whether Sting recorded "She's Sting is capable of writing the types of songs Mansfield's virtuoso vivacity." Groucho various points to television meteorology, Louis Too Good For Me" with the express purpose of he shoots for on the new album. The entire Police Marx Is also In this tale of an ad man and XVI on the way to a guillotine, and a farmer sounding just like Kansas and Boston, two bands catalog and his first solo album, Dream of the an easily swayed movie star. 7:30 and resorting to witchcraft to save his farm from that the Police provided an alternative for in the Blue Turtles, are filled with intelligent and foreclosure. If the vignettes are supposed to latter half of the 1970s. By combining a blues riff thoughtful songs that also happen to be catchy 9:20 p.m., Rice Media Center. $4 both, underscore the romantic tale unfolding at the end, with a speedy synthesizer solo, courtesy of ex-E and enjoyable. Perhaps he is merely out of $3 secondfilm only . then they don't do a very good job. If, on the Street Band keyboardist David Sancious, and practice after his last two "concept" albums. WIESS TABLETOP: Qrease back for another other hand, the last verse, in which the romantic ridiculous lyrics like "She don't like to hear me Here, the pomposity that constitutes a good part interest is revealed, isn't the point of the entire sing/She don't want no diamond ring," Sting asks of his charm is starting to obscure his talent weekend of hairsprayin', dirty dancln' funfor th e whole family. 8 p.m., Wiess MEGA-POSSE JAM Commons. $3 students.

Su> THEATER: Man of La Mancha. 8 p.m., Houston's Geto Boys take the mike to the Death' Sid Rich basement. $3.

BY DA HIP HOP VANDAL RICE CINEMA: TWO films by the SAT "powerful" actor/director team "If I didn't tell ya, how the FUNK would ya know?!?"...a thought that came over Da Hip of Max von Sydow and Ingmar Bergman. Hop Vandal as I was reviewin' the most rough, The Seventh Seal(1957) and WHdStraw- rugged and raw in new rap releases. One in benfos(1957). 7:30 and 9:20 p.m, Me- particular had me thinking "Last year, I thought My Mind Was Playin' Tricks On Me, but it is dia Center. true! Rap-A-Lot Records' Geto Boys Can't Be LAST DAY OF Grease, Wiess College, 8 p.m. Stopped" After a summer of solo efforts and a LAST DAY, Man of La Mancha, Ski base- group breakup in which one member, Willie D, ment, 8 p.m. departed for good, the Geto Boys have regrouped to blast out their latest shipment of uncut LAST DAY TO see Write Onstage. Hamman underground dope, direct from "The Nickel," HaH, 8 p.m. Houston's Fifth Ward. Till Death Do Us Part is a collaboration that RICE CINEMA: An Indian premiere recruited the services of the newest Geto Boy, Big Mike, formerly of The Convicts. He, S U N for this week's Third Worid Cin- Bushwick "Muthafu**ing" Bill, and the "Born ema Installment. Genesfe (1988) is a Killa" himself, Scarface, break suckas off "parable of man's exploitation of his somethin' nice with songs like "No Nuts, No fellow man." A strange woman wan- Gloiy," "Murder After Midnight" and "Straight Gangsterism." ders Into the land that a former and a The Geto Boys put Houston's "Nickel" on the rap map. Of all the Geto Boys albums, I found this one weaver Inhabit together; they like her at album," Wyatt said. "No matter what people to be the most solo-oriented of them. I mean, national college radio representative, Leslie first, but then they both fall in love with Bushwick wrecks "Murder Avenue," Big Mike Wyatt may think, there will always be Geto Boys!" her. A moral soap opera, as it were. 7:30 gets to flex his solo skills on two cuts and the "The reason there are so many solo cuts on These things withstanding, the album still label's ace, Scarface, is at the helm of four. I the album is to show the versatility and indi- packs 12-gauge group blasts on "Six Feet Deep," p.m. Media Center. a story about the losses from senseless gang wondered why, but "why ask why?" Well, I did vidual skill of each member, especially Big COFFEEHOUSE: Jay Hickman, Gavin, anyway when I gave a call to Rap-A-Lot's Mike, who does a good deal of the writing on the violence, "Raise Up" and the mega-posse jam, "Bring It On," which features 11-year-old 2 Low, Drummond. Piano bar. not to mention Seagram, Too Much Trouble, The A WRY BLY AT RICE. .. 5th Ward Boys, The Odd Squad, Ganksta NIP, COFFEEHOUSE: Katie Krolikowskl, Lord 3-2, Big Mello and Scarface. But the track M o N Dave Adeiman. Saxophone. Robert Bly will read from his new search for the "deep masculine," and the which has attracted the most attention in the book of poetry The Roy and Bone Shop of primary way Bly advocates the embark- music world has been "Crooked Officer." the Heart. ment and success of this search is through In the face of the Ice T/Time Warner incident COFFEEHOUSE: David Broman. PI- A respected contemporary poet and organizations such as the Men's Council over his metal group's "Cop Killer" song, the TUE ano. father of the current men's movement of Houston. The men's movement has arrest and subsequent acquittal of Rap-A-Lot Bly's movement encourages men to gained fame (or infamy) because of its owner James Smith on trumped-up drug wilderness retreats, where men bare their possession charges, and the slaying of one of RICE CINEMA: The southwest pre- souls to each other through the use of Scarf ace's bodyguards and best friends by a F R t miere of Ernst Lubttsch In Ger- drums, fires and othervehicles for venting security guard in an incident in Louisiana many: 1914-1922. A collection of the and sharing. recently, the Geto Boys attack The Boys In Blue Bly first cried out for a men's who behave badly with verbal buckshots of Germanfilmmaker's bes t work in short movement with the publication of his "Crooked Officer/Crooked Officer/Why you and feature-length projects. Over the book Iron John: A Book About Men. After wanna put me in a coffin, sir?" two nights, six hours off LuMtsch's work becoming a regular on bestseller lists, the Till Death Do Us Part is for all you tough wM be shown. 7:30 p.m., Media Center. book spurred a debate which continues to guys and knuckleheads who want to roll to fat- this day on the validity of the movement ass jeep beats and ill gangsta tales. If you fit the Call for each night's schedule. 527- with critics contending it is merely a description, run out and pick this trunk of Geto 4853. backlash to the highly-developed feminist funk up right now. If it is not for you, go and pick continued on page 10 movement it up anyway so you can hear what the hell you are missin'. 10 FRIDAY, APRIL 2, 1993 THE RICE THRESHER ARTS AND ENTERTAINMENT

KILLER WATT fIREHOSE: down with the bass, heavier than hell, and coming to town

FIREHOSE mike stands, flooded in spotlights that sound as being a way to explore new THE VATICAN, 880-3433 also illuminate the wildly gesticulat- directions and new sounds, a certain APRIL 3, ALL ACES, J12 ing lead guitarist, the bassist stands group of guys can sit back and say near the fog machine, in a catatonic they've known it all along. And BY ERIC STOTTS state, denied of any apparent creative they're not about to change a damn power. thing. While the power of the bass guitar Such stratification of the band When fIREHOSE thunders into to jettison the listener into an ear- pushed the bassist into the woodwork, Houston tomorrow night, expect pounding, adrenaline-pumping but it is rapidly collapsing. With this nothing less than some of the best bass hypnotic trance cannot be denied, one collapse, the powerful quality of the you're ever liable to hear. (A caveat often finds the bass guitarist in a great bass as a contributing creative for the reader: This band is not to he number of bands shrouded in a fair element, and not just simply a confused with Firehouse. Don't stop amount of obscurity. While the lead metronome, is expanding. While reading this story due to false singer prances around stage swinging many bands might see a heavier bass assumptions!) The definitive sound that fIREHOSE boasts—oftentimes Happy Hour 11AM-7PM daily! Live music, darts, mellow, more often than not heavy as Monday Night is College Night sports, private parties! hell, but always chock full o' great Si.00 off all drafts 1617 Richmond • Houston, TX 77006 • 528-3545bass—depend s a great deal on bassist mike watt. fIREHOSE's origin is relatively ed FROMOHIO, mike watt and george hurley sexlly make up fIREHOSE. straightforward. Watt, along with lead work me up (hold me down), read my a virtual dialogue between the two singer d. boon and drummer george meter (check my head), throw the performers via their instruments. It's hurley, comprised a group known as hammer (break the bed)!" truly a feast for the ears. the Minutemen, which disbanded after In addition to the quality It's been awhile since fIREHOSE the untimely death of boon. Boon was fIREHOSE releases (If n and Flyin' graced the Houston scene at a free replaced by ed crawford (a.k.a. ed the Flannel are strongly recom- concert with King Missile. This FROMOHIO) and the band changed mended), watt has also branched out concert is not going to be free, or even its name to fIREHOSE. It's that into the solo arena with his wife kira, cheap, for that matter (once again the simple. While the fIREHOSE sound one-time bassist for Black Flag and Vatican demonstrates its ability to has undergone a definite maturation now a steady contributor to various attract great bands at not-so-great process over the course of five albums, fIREHOSE projects. The mike/kira prices). But fortunately, all of you Call for information on other the latest being the recently released project, known as Dois, is a masterful have been saving your money by Mr. Machinery Operator, the musical employment of lots of great bass with taking advantage of the relatively bands at Munchies next week. genius of watt remains powerful and a few lyrics sprinkled in here and cheap local scene to justify being able consistent there. On their album Uno Con Dos, to splurge on one evening of mind- This is not to deny the artistic both display incredibly symbiotic numbing bass. If it's Firehouse you 528-3545 efforts of crawford and hurley, as a tendencies, and what results is want to see, however... great sharing of roles occurs on every album (check out the drum solo in from page 9 "More Famous Quotes" on the new With this coupon, get album.) Lyrically, the songs tend to be $1.00 off any sandwich during lunch (11 AM - 3 PM) stripped-down but inventive and RICE CINEMA: Ernst Lubttsch in Germany:1914-1922.7:30 telling at the same time. Interesting sat p.m. Media Cantor. -or- rhymes develop in a way which fully $1.00 off any beverage after 7 PM complements watt's dynamic bass style: "strap me in (blow me out), n GBIHJ RICE CINEMA: Third World Cinema continues with Lm mmm mm mm mm Expiras 5/2/93J sun The Runner (1990), an Iranian Mm about poverty-stricken children. This Mghly-acciaimed movie focuses on the sad lives of children who live on a beach collecting bottles. 7:30. Media Cantor.

COFFEEHOUSE: Lara Bruckmarm. Acoustic guitar and more. MON @©@® ©SU COFFEEHOUSE: Shepherd School benefit. BALFOUR T U E 14 CHAMBER MUMC CONCERT: music of Beethoven, Rossini, Mozart wed and Telemann. 8 p.m., Duncan Recital Hall. Free. COFFEEHOUSE: Nicholas Walker, Erich Loft is, David Murray. Hipnopop.

GBSU DESIRE, SEX AND POWER in Rock Videos, a public Class of 1994 thu forum sponsored by the Houston Area Women's Center, Students Organized Against Rape and the Health Education Office, wiHfeature a video and a panel discussion following It. 7 p.m., Rice Media Center. Free. Ring Orders taken CLUB CwxiertE presents Its annual production La Cagnotte. In Flench Thru Apr. 17. 7:30 p.m., Herring HaR 124, $1 students. COFFEEHOUSE: Joel Stein. Acoustic guitar and stuff. In honor of Owi Day.

Don't miss The Neugents, evocative photographs of a rural family by April 6 & 7 former journalist David Spear, a Guggenheim Fellowship winner. At the Media Center through April 13.

Ticketsfor th e final concert of the Shepherd School Symphony Orchestra and Rice Chorale are now 09 safo. The show is April 23 at 8 p.m. in Stude, and tickets are $5 for students. 527-4933.

Is Itfluxlsm? Th e new exhibit In the Farish Gallery, The Meda-tion of at the Exhibition by NY architect Labi us Woods, changes every day. Includes two huge constructions by students. Through April 7.

frontpage 9 RICE CAMPUS STORE April 10. 7 to 9 p.m. at Firehouse Gallery, 1413 Westheimer. Through May IS n KM 9ain-4pm Ball Who are Brian Freeman, Djola Bernard and Eric Gupton? The POMO AFRO HOMOS, San Francisco's provocative and irreverent Q performance artists. They draw on personal narratives, pom novels and media madness as they tell what It's Hke to be Mack, gay and...funny. At DiverseWorks April 9 and 10,8 p.m. $10.223-8346. ARTS AND ENTERTAINMENT THE RICE THRESHER FRIDAY, APRIL 2, 1993 11 CHICKEN FRY ME A STEAK Work in progress The genuine article: Blanco's is Texas, period slipped beneath into its shade and warmed my lips. BY jiLL SALOMON and tequila you can drink to work up a The chicken-fried steak is probably You told me to wait and watch. We parted beyond this pastel healthy appetite. everything that the dish's originator You told me that beyond this path Usually, to find an eatery with a The menu is reminiscent of a wanted it to be. But, it's not what our waterway the path turned on the other side of this sawdust-covered floor, stuffed border town diner: heavy on beef and 1993 palates are used to. To its credit, into the trees, and beyond shimmering blue warthog heads on the walls and rude Anglicized Tex-Mex dishes. Order one it's fried to a thick crispy perfection. the green the path became a of what must be water waitresses, you have to travel to some of the burgers. They serve nine But without a heavy dose of pepper, road far-off town like Tomball or Waller. it's tasteless. The gravy lacks by which I now walk, immobile and unable by which you would return. As most Rice students can't make The bar serves a cracklings, and is a bit too pasty. Now my pale dots of eyes rest to turn and see you turn it that far for a Sunday dinner, we've The real winner for authenticity in upon the smooth path dazzling array of beyond the wooden barricade had to satiate our need for Texana with this place is the beef fajita plate. This but cannot turn up to its dis- of frame. the McDonald's Texas ain't no gentrified tenderloin hiding appearance longnecks, including My world is still shadows Homestyle burger and out in a tortilla and claiming to be so I cannot see your coming unmoved by unmoving sun. similarly uninspiring cuisine. San Antonio's pride, home cookin'. It's a generous portion as I could not see you go. Unbeknownst to most of us, of skirt steak, a bit on the tough side, Yet I remember feeling the sun, fate has placed a little Pearl. that you have to cut up and roll sweet yellow like honey, restaurant inside the loop that yourself. If you want to tell the folks filtering through this painted hat -Meg Simmons will satisfy even the most different kinds, not including a back home that you know fajitas, this as your hand touched its thin edge, adamant Texan. particularly tempting chicken-fried is the place to bone up. Meg Simmons is a Will Rice senior in The first thing you see as steak on a bun. I ordered a The service was pretty poor. A Susan Wood's advanced poetry class. you walk in is a small wooden guacoburger, which proved to be waitress will hand you a menu as soon dance floor and space for a band, everything that I had hoped for: the as you sit down and if you don't give surrounded by rough wooden posts. correct amount of grease and a good her your order when she returns three Cost only $6,850 which includes Cases of Lone Star line the back walls mix of warm guacamole and Swiss minutes later, you're going to have a w CHILE along with the requisite animal heads. cheese on a not-too-soggy-bun. hard time getting her attention again Three-day visit to Buenos Aires The night we were there Chris Wall (a Unfortunately, you have to order for the next 15 minutes. They claim to Round Trip Air Fare real Texan; he's even played with french fries separately, but they cost be closed on Saturdays and Sundays with RICE! Room and Board Jerry Jeff Walker) was on stage and only a dollar—don't deny yourself. for private parties, but watch the Tuition they charged us $5 just to come in and They were obviously hand-cut long lighted sign out front, they sometimes Fall 1993 • Fall Semester in Chile eat A good tip: come before 7 p.m. and fried with the skins on. You can will open the doors. Rice University/University of Chile (Santiago) and you won't have to pay a thing. also order fries with melted Cheddar The bar serves a dazzling array of cheese, but do so with caution, not BLANCO'S BAR AND GRILL New Deadline: APRIL 15,1993 longnecks, including San Antonio's even a cold Pearl Light could wash 3406 W. ALABAMA, 439-0072 For information call: (713) 285-5451 • FAX: (713) 527-4863 pride, Pearl, as well as all the whiskey down their greasiness. MON.-FRI., 11 -2 A.M.

SPOKEN WORD FROM PACE 8 and down while trying to "hold it in." That's not to say he has no talent. Get Quotemaster Plus Software His anecdotes of the first Lollapalooza on the track "Good Advice" are truly funny, and his commentary on killing rats in "Strength part 2" made me Need a cure for writers block? cringe. He has seen strange things in How about impressing that hard to life, and he should be applauded for KWii attempting to interject humor into the please English Professor this stories. "It's either laugh, or open up semester? Ever thought about on people in McDonalds with an Uzi." Rollins seems to be using the stage using quotations to get your point as therapy, and the listeners as a self- across? Now you can with help group. What gets me is that he Quotemaster Plus Software. With expects the listener to get into what he's saying. Now on some of the a tap of a key or a click of a mouse tracks that's not too hard, but about a you can access the famous words .mm \ third remind me of the guy at the bar . i who doesn't know when to shut up. of Winston Churchill, Mark Twain, But it's not that easy to hate The or Woody Allen that are sure to . »;> Boxed Life. His anger is passionate, impress any Professor. X and the square jawed, stocky per- former does have a great speaking Quotemaster Plus can give you voice. In each story he tries to impart a : lesson, ranging from safe sex to an the creative edge when writing ' :S,£v v. impassioned plea to keep fighting for reports, speeches, term papers, or your life. It's easy for the listener to relate and even sympathize with anything else you can imagine. Rollins, and his humor is usually right on target, even if most of it is filler. His stories are brimming with set definitions of how one should and Say Hello to Quotemaster Plus....Call (713)669-0965 ! shouldn't be, but unfortunately, these are double standards. He talks about Use your personal computer to Export quotations directly into your how one should "hate with style and access over 9000 literary quotations wordprocessor. creativity", and then he'll proceed to a o use his position on stage to rag on in seconds. other performers. He attacks Edie Revolutionary Author Informaiton Brickell as being the "agent of Satan" and U2 because they're U2 and Search for quotations by subject, a disk contains a short biography on childish. In the beginning of "Condos" authors name, era, and even a word 1600 authors coverd in the database. he tells all the women in the audience a that he hates the way Australian men or partial word. treat women and sex. He even goes so Affordably priced for the college far as to label himself as a feminist. He then proceeds to spend the rest of the Customize the database by adding 0 student budget ! track sympathizing with the men in your own favorite quotations. their woes of sex, and putting down a the women for being sensitive. It's this type of self-contradiction that sets the listener against him. Again, listening Quotemaster Plus to him intoxicated increases the humor ten-fold. DOS * Windows * Macintosh But, compared with other so called "spoken word" artists, he seems Available at to be onto something. Rollins seems to have figured out a new way to express Kinko's in the Rice Village his anger. At first sight, it seems in check, but you can feel it beneath his or call 669-0965 skin, jittering to get out Perhaps this is why the humor is funny, but the laugh given to it is a nervous one. PennComp Software Development, P.O. 271529,Houston, TX. 77277-1529 12 FRIDAY. APRIL 2. 1993 THE RICE THRESHER SPORTS Rice golf hopes for improvement going into Conference Championships by Grant Flowers als every year for the past three years, ment in Austin, they set a new school Patrik Johansson. have any realistic chance we would the golf team has fallen on hard times. record for lowest round score. "I can't pinpoint what the problem have to play above our heads." Last year's squad graduated one se- There are 14 members on the team, is," said Makohon. "Like most sports, Makohon, a senior, hails from The Rice golf team competed in a nior, and therefore expectations for but only five play in the tournaments. golf comes and goes. But our main Saskatchewan, and he says he came tournament at the University of Cali- an improvement this season were In order to determine which five at- problem is that we don't have much to Rice because there was no snow fornia-Santa Barbara last week and high. tend, a qualifying match is played and consistency. I was named a pre-sea- and good academics. placed 16th in a field of 24. The squad "The season has been kind of dis- the top five get to travel. In such a son All-American, but during the year "Also," said Makohon, "I thought I played 36 holes on the first day, but appointing," said senior Chris system, over the course of a year, I've probably finished out of the top 20 would get a good chance to play. My the Owls did not have a chance to Brauner. "I feel like we're standing many different players may attend one in meets more times than I did in my first year we got to the nationals in improve their finish as the second day still, and everyone else is running past or more tournaments. TTiis season, previous three years. what was supposed to be a rebuilding of the match was rained out, thereby us. After going to the nationals in the several players have attended almost "If we play the way we are now at year. And this year we might not get making the first day's results the final past, and with the expectations we all of the matches, including Makohon, the Southwest Conference tourna- there at all, unless we win the confer- order of placing. had, I'd have to say that it has been a Brauner, and the team's lowest scorer, ment we could finish dead last To ence tournament" "The course was great," said team pretty poor year. captain Jeff Makohon. "There were "It's not that we're worse golfers," six holes that paralleled the ocean, he added, "It's just that we haven't Women's track building up to SWC meet and that was a lot of fun to play be- improved like we thought we would Vonda Newhouse, and Desiree Woods Haynes and Claudia Haywood cause you had to get your drive real and our competition has. Golf is a very by Lynanne Foster will qualify for nationals soon after a placed fourth and sixth respectively in straight" individual sport We each do our own third place finish last Saturday. Their thing, and because of that we cant the long jump, with jumps of 19'4.75" There are three tournaments re- time was 45.83, almost a two second and 19'1 respectively. maining in the golf season. The team feed off the other guys like baseball Last Friday and Saturday the Rice improvement over last week's 47.69. "There were some good signs from leaves Saturday for Los Angeles. After and football players can. To get better Women's Track team hosted the Lopez noted that in these early Haywood and Haynes," commented that, the team faces the University of I think we have to come together as a Bayou Classic, the largest women's meets, several of the sprinters were Lopez. Houston and then the Southwest Con- unit, and especially become mentally outdoor track meet in the South. The running in two or three races for the Several of the runners who had ference championships. Winning the sharper." Owls placed fourth among the 11 col- gonetothe Indoor NationalMeet com- latter tournament could mean an There have been some bright spots leges and universities represented, with several promising performances 'I'm happy with what I peted in races that were atypical for inviation to the national for the Owls this year. At a tourna- them for training purposes. championships for the this early in the season. Defending national champion see. Eveiything's going "It gave them a chance to practice technique," explained Lopez. After going to nation Valerie Tulloch won the javelin throw with a toss of 162' 2". Tulloch also took fine.' This weekend the Owls compete second in the shot put with an effort of atTexas Relays in Austin,which Lopez 45' 1.5". -Coach Victor Lopez plans to use as another training oppor- The sophomore has already quali- tunity in preparation for the confer- O OO oo o o fied for the outdoor track national practice. "We're still training through ence championships next month. 0OOOO OOOQ "I'm happy with what I see," he S4IOOOOO OOOO championships this year, and several competition," he said. ooooo OOO $£ o oo o oo o other teammates are expected to join In addition to the strong perfor- added. "Everything's going fine." her there. mance by the relay team, Yvette Over the Easter break the women Freshman basketball player Haynes turned in a 14.01 in the 100 will travel to El Paso for the University Tammy McCallum made her colle- meter hurdles. of Texas at El Paso Relays when they giate debut in the shot with an admi- "It was her best coming out of begin to be more competitive as the rable 39* 8". indoor season," Lopez noted. "She conference meet approaches. Head Coach Victor Lopez predicts looked very good. Everybody is look- "We're looking forward to next that the 4x100 meter relay team of ing good and getting into competitive week at UTEP, and expecting close to Nicole Wright, Shelly Northover, form" the best there," Lopez said. Baseball loses three straight on the road against Texas Tech out the game. March 30 to challenge the Bearkats of their victory, the Owls boosted their climb back up the conference stand- by Jason Katz Rodgers went four for four on the Sam Houston State. David Brooks' season record to 26-7, and put an end ings. evening, accounting for half of Rice's RBI single in the seventh inning broke to their longest losing streak of the "We're going up to Waco with only Hoping to rebound from a difficult hits, but he would be the lone high- a 3-3 tie and led the Owls to their 23rd season. one thing in our mind-winning three series at Arizona State University and light for the struggling Owls. straight victory at home by a score of On April 2-3, Rice will travel to games against Baylor," said Davis. to shake its road troubles, the Rice Mike Wilson was thelosingpitcher 5-3. It was the first start on the mound Waco in order to face Baylor Univer- There's a lot of baseball still left in the baseball team found instead a Texas for Rice as they fell to 3-3 in the confer- for returning pitcher Jim Miller (1-0), sity in yet another three-game confer- season and it is just a matter of us Tech University squad that added to ence and dropped from the top spot to and it proved to be a successful one. ence series. The Owls hope to put an taking care of business. One thing is its woes. fourth place. Davis led an eleven-hit attack with two end to their on the road losing streak for sure: we'll make it an interesting The Owls had not defeated the The Owls then returned home on hits of his own and three RBIs. With this weekend and start their difficult conference race." Red Raiders in their last nine meet- ings at Dan Law Field in Lubbock, and mmmmm this year would prove no different as Texas Tech swept the Owls in a three- game series. A home victory against non-con- ference rival Sam Houston State Uni- versity provided little solace as Rice fell to 19th in the nation and, more importantly, fourth in the Southwest Conference. On March 26, the Owls headed to Lubbock to take on the Red Raiders. Rice held the top position in the con- ference standings and looked to add to their unblemished record. Yet Texas Tech seemed un- daunted, pounding the Owls and ace pitcher Darrell Richardson (6-2, 1-1) for 19 hits and 17 runs. George Kilford and Brody Gregg combined for 10 hits to lead the Texas Tech offensive attack, while the Raider pitching staff gave up only four hits and one walk en route to a convincing 17-2 victory. Despite acombined nine strikeouts for Rice pitchers, the Owls suffered their largest defeat of the season and their first conference loss. "Sure we're upset with losing," admitted freshman infielder Dana Davis. "We knew going in that we really needed to win at least one game. But we've been working hard and we know that we will bounce back." The Owls hoped to rebound dur- ing the doubleheader on March 27. Though they did not crumble as they did in the first game, defensive mis- takes and attention lapses allowed the Red Raiders to sweep the Owls. In the second game of the series, the Owls by two runs late in the game. However, a Rice error and a key RBI single by Mike Kinney capped aTexas Tech comeback as they beat Rice 5-4. In the final series game, the Owls again battled hard but fell victim to a late Red Raider rally, as Rice dropped its third game to Texas Tech 8-5. Of- fensively, the Owls were led by catcher John Rodgers, whose two homeruns and four RBIskeptRiceclosethrough- A Rice player clucks to avoid an outside pitch narrowly missing his head SPORTS THE RICE THRESHER FRIDAY, APRIL 2, 1993 13 Women's tennis falls to Baylor the three games to pull out a win over by Riva Rahl Baylor. All three games went to Baylor, and Rice was unable to pull out the Last Saturday in Waco, the Rice win. women's tennis team lost a 4-1 lead "I let my singles play affect my and ended up losing 5-4 to Baylor doubles. I was a little upset and didn't University. The loss drops Rice to 96 play as well as I should have," Daniels overall and 2-3 in the Southwest Con- said. ference, good for fifth place in the Daniels teamed up with Strassner standings. Baylor moves to fourth to form an unusually strong third seed place in the standings. doubles team, but even their com- Four of the singles matches had bined strength could not pull out the been decided in Rice's favor with vic- win. After losing 64 and then winning tories by first seed Antonette Veloso 6-2 in doubles, Daniels and Strassner (64,6-3), second seed Jackie Brown were unable to hold on, losing the final (6-3,7-6), fifth seed Blair Strassner (6- set 6-1, turning what should have been 2,6-2),and Betsy Nederveld (64,64). a Rice victory into a toss. Rice needed only one more victory Rice hopes to avenge the toss this in singles to win the fifth game and the weekend as they play Texas Christian entire dual match. In the last singles University. One of Rice's big rivals in game, third seed Abby Daniels lost tennis, the Horned Frogs are memo- her final set 64, making doubles play rable for their unsportsmanlike con- necessary. duct last year at the conference tour- Rice went into doubles with a 4-2 nament. The Owls have been antici- lead, needing only one victory out of pating third-place TCU all year. one world, one human family

Matt Berry concentrates as he prepares to crush a backhand. Men's tennis tied for first in SWC after Baylor win mented Berry. "We definitely domi- play, and thaf s a big upturn from where by Erica Levine nated them in singles." we were before. That puts us in a The situation did notchange much great position for the rest of the sea- t Men's Tennis has something to in doubles. Dann teamed up with son." brag about this week. After running fellow junior Ryan Gately to take the The Owls will need all the position roughshod over Baylor, 6-1, the Owls second-team title, 8-3. Medrano and they can get for the remainder of the "We desire but the good of the world and the happiness have a share of first place in the South- Elsberry had an even easier fight, spring season. Three of their remain- of the nations . . . that all nations should become one in west Conference. bringing home the third-team victory, ing four matches will be played against faith and all men as brothers; that the bonds of affection "Everyone played very well," com- teams ranked in the top twenty-five in mented assistant coach Rob Barr. the nation. This killer series starts and unity between the sons of men should be "We're playing with a lot more confi- 'We've been on a roH with a match against the University of strengthened; that diversity of religion should cease, and dence than we were earlier in the Texas in Austin tomorrow. differences of race be annulled . . . and all men be as one season, and it's really showing recently. We're hoping our "We've been on a roll recently," kindred and one family. . ." through." commented Medrano. "We're hop- This was definitely a match we momentum can cany andin g our momentum can carry and we From the Baha i Sacred Wrrtngs had to win," added senior and Owls can bring home a win over Texas." the first seed Juan LaValle. "We won it, we can bring home a win Medrano will play a big role in Kamran & Melanie Mouzoori and we're very pleased by that The deciding whether or not the Owls ac- Baha'f Faith# whole team pretty much came to- complish that daunting task. He is For Information Call: 664-0776 gether." over Texas.' scheduled to play first seed against LaValle started the Owls' winning the Longhorns' Andres Eriksson, trend, defeating Baylor's first seed, 6- -Jose Medrano ranked 19th in the nation. SUMMER SCHOOL 4.6-2. Junior Jose Medrano took an The University of Texas ranked equally easy second-seed victory, 63, 8-2. tenth nationally. 1993 6-4. Senior Matt Berry exhausted his LaValle and junior Pascal Hoswere "I'm pretty excited about the opponent at fourth seed,64,60, while not quite so fortunate. After waging a match," commented Medrano. "Iplay junior Willie Dann breezed through at long battle for the first-team title, the better at first seed , and though this fifth seed, 6-0,6-3. Sophomore Nick pair lost it in a tiebreaker, 9^. may be a difficult job to do, I'm hoping Lorenzini rounded out the Owls' vic- "Doubleshas really improved these I can rise to it" tories, 6-3,6-1. past couple of weeks," commented an It seems likely that the Owls will be Rice's only disappointment in only slightly dejected LaValle. "The able to rise to the occasion. After singles was Jon Elsberry's third-seed third team, especially, is doing a really taking several early season losses, Rice eorgetown loss to Mark Scates. The freshman great job. Jose and Jon put it together seems to be on the road to success. was outlasted in a rough two-setter, 6- this past weekend." "We're all picking up our games UNIVERSITY 3.7-5. "Overall, we're off to a pretty good for Conference," concluded LaValle. "We thought the Bears would play start," added Head Coach Larry "Hopefully, things will only get better MAY 24-.ll NK 18 I'RK-SKSSION much better than they did," com- Turville. "We're 2-0 in conference from here." JINK 7-.II' 1. Y 9 FIRSTSESSK>N JUNK 7-JI 'LY30 KIGHT-WKKkC.ROSS SKSSU >N Jll.Y 12-AUGUST 13 SKCONI) SESSION Luke sets Rice meet record in 400 meters I hiring the summer months (ieorgetown I Diver- sity's School for Summer and Continuing Education meter heat with a 10.75 and 200 meter Straub seemed very content with by Tony Tran offers more than 300 regular graduate and under heat with a 21.38 Jose Hernandez in the progress of the field events. The graduate courses for all students. Visiting students the first 400 meter hurdle heat with a people competing in the field events from other colleges and universities can earn credits This past weekend, the Rice men's 54.13, Bryan Branson in the second are progressing and competing well which are ordinarily transferable to their own degree track team hosted the ninth annual heat with a 53.65, Keith Wilkerson in each week. They should be ready for programs. Summer courses are taught by members ot Meeting of the Minds, a warm-up for the 3000 meters with a 8:44.29, and the conference meet to come through (ieorgctown's distinguished faculty and other visiting the Texas Relays this weekend. Com finally the 4 x 400 meter relay team of for us," he said. scholars. petingagainst Harvard University, the Chrisjones, Derek Gurnell, Branson, This weekend, the team travels to Enrollment is open to all students in good standing University of Minnesota, Wichita State and Luke who established a new meet Austin to compete in the prestigious at (ieorgetown and all other colleges and universities, University, the University of Okla- record of 3:09.64. Texas Relays. Straub was very excited foreign students with a TOEFL score of 550 or above homa, the College of William and Other strong showings for Rice at the prospects of his team there and ((>00 for linguistics courses) and individuals whose Mary, and Allegheny University, Wee include Ivory Angello's second place in El Paso the following week. He educational background and experience qualify them put on a very impressive performance. finish in his 100 meter heat witKa 10.8, plans to send three relay teams (sprint for the courses they wish to take. Head Coach Steve Straub was very Jones' second place finish in the 400 medley relay, 4x 400, and the distance ('.atalogues along with the application form are av ail- enthusiastic about his team's perfor- with a 46.69 to Luke, and Bryce relay), and a total of 15-20 competi- able by phone request 202-687-5942, tax request 202- mance, saying, "I was really happy 687-8')54 or mail request to: (ieorgetown University. Cramer's third place in the 800 with a tors. SSCE/306 ICC, Washington, D.C. 20057-1075. with the way the kids performed since 1:52.42. The ultimate goal for the track team Information tor • I he P.ng/ish as a foreign l^jngiuigi 10 on a Saturday morning is not the The athletes competing the field is a victory in the conference meet Program or • High School Programs is available through easiest time to compete." events continue to improve each week, The team's chances are increasing separate brochures. Please check the appropriate box The runners came through for the as they also had a strong showing. every week as more people are turn- in receive information. Owls in this meet, led by Gabriel Luke's Ryan Haytock who threw 20,4.6" and ing in better tinje^farther distances, meet record in the 400 meters, which Ed Howard who threw 197*3" finished and most imp^tant, consistency. N \ M I made him a provisional NCAA quali- second and third respectively in the Straub said of h is team's prospects, VI M IK I SS fier in the event javelin throw. "We need the distance run ners txfkeep (in s I V I I In addition to Luke, other runners Kris Armstrong came in second in progressing to bring us points in the who won were Chris Caldwell in the the long jump with a 23' 5 1/2" while conference meet I believe that in an- 1500 meters with a time of 3:51.68, Angello finished second in the high other six to eight weeks, we should be Kareem Streete-Thompson in his 100 jump with a 6*8". ready." 14 FRIDAY, APRIL 2, 1993 THE RICE THRESHER SPORTS Crew looks forward to Great Plains Regatta in Topeka next weekend as we would have liked." Davis, a rower on the men's expe- sidering that we're a lightweight boat year round. Teams from northern by Grant Flowers The experienced women's boat rienced lightweight boat, expects good and we only lost to heavies by thirteen schools cannot practice during the took the gold medal in the 1000 and things in Topeka seconds, we should be able to beat the winter months. The Rice Rowing club began its the silver in the 2000, losing to Texas "We only lost to the Texas heavy- other lightweights at the Great Plains." "Some of the northern teams said spring season last Saturday with an by half a boat length. weight team by 13 seconds," said One of the more subtle advantages that they went to Austin for spring impressive showing at the Heart of "We expected to beat Kansas State Davis. "After the race, we were talking that Rice has is the Houston weather. break and practiced there," sad Folk. Texas regatta in Austin. All four Rice in the 2000," said woman's team cap^ to them and they said that was the Houston's warm climate allows the That was the first opportunity they Ve boats medalled, overcoming stiff com- tain Liz Romero, "and come close to closest anyone has come all year. Con- Rice team to practice on water almost had to practice on water this year." petition from the University of Kan- Texas. In the 1000 meters, we beat sas, the University of Minnesota, the Northwestern by a large margin, and University of Texas, Northwestern last year we lost to them in Kansas." Lacrosse upsets Texas A&M at home University, the University of Colorado, Rice will compete in the large Great On offense, Klineberg was initially stretch in the last quarter. the University of Nebraska, and Kan- Plains Regatta, held in Topeka, Ks., on by Debashis Ghosh sas State University. April 9 and 10. disappointed with the scoring output On offense against A&M, Stu Smith had a strong game, leading the team The men's experienced light- "Ourperformance at Heart ofTexas by Wee during the first half, but in the second half the team picked up the in assists. weight team finished second out of shows that we can compete and win," Over the past two weeks, the Rice slack. four in the 2000 meter race, beating a said Romero. "I'm really excited about Lacrosse team has been rolling To put the Aggie win in perspec- tive, Klinebeig noted that the last time heavyweight boat from Kansas State going to Kansas." through the competition, with two wins Adam Kinsey led the way for the that Rice had won against the Aggies and a lightweight squad from Texas. Rowing club president Jeremy against Trinity University and an im- Owls, scoring five goals. Joel was over eight years ago, and Rice has The men finished close behind the Davis shares Romero's enthusiasm portant win over Texas A&M Univer- Sansgathe added two, while Stu Smith, never defeated A&M in College Sta- Texas heavyweight boat The novice He says that the team has improved sity, the Owls' main rival. The club's Jason Richardson, Will Kurtz, and Craig Carswell each chipped in with tion. men's team won the 1000 meter race, immensely over the past year. spring season record stands at 11-1 in one goal apiece. The win also put Rice into a tie with defeating a strong Northwestern "Saturday showed the level to the conference and 13-2 overall. A&M for first place in the conference. squad. In addition, the novice men which we've come. We've improved On March 21 the team, playing in Although happy with the win, The next day, the lacrosse team finished third in the 2000 meters. across the board," he said. its first match since spring break, de- Klineberg said, "Trinity is not one of met again Trinity for the second time Part of this improvement comes feated Trinity 11-5 without three start- the stronger teams in the conference. The women's team had equal suc- in two weeks and emerged a 7-6 win- from the new Vespoli boat that the ers who were suspended for fighting We expected to kill them." cess. The novice women, with four ner. rowers, won their opening heat in the team bought in the fall. The regatta in in an earlier game against Texas. The pinnacle of the team's spring season, however, was the 10-9 victory Klineberg attibuted the disappoint- 1000 meters and were second overall Austin was the second opportunity for Despite the absences of Steve over the Aggies in College Station last ing game to missing members and in a fieki of eight teams. The novices, the team to use the boat in a race, the Steele and Eric and Arnaud Klineberg, Saturday. fatigue from the A&M match, pre- normally an eight person boat, were first being the Head of the the defense was intimidating, holding Pete Kipp scored the game-tying venting the team from demolishing rowing four in order to make a stron- Chattahoochee meet in November. Trinity scoreless 23 minutes in the goal, while John Griffin provided the Trinity as it had the first time the two ger and more competitive team. "The new boat has out us on the first hall game-winning shot. teams had played. "I was pretty skeptical about how same level as the other teams," said "I was happy with the way the de- For the Owls, Kinsey and Kinsey led the offensive attack for we would do, because we've only prac- Davis. "Last year we raced in a train- fense played because only half of the ing boat, and that doesnt compare starters were there. The people who Sansgathe led the way with three goals the third straightgame with two goals. ticed with four rowers three times," each. Having survived these demanding said freshmanTorrey Folk. "The boat with a racing shell. Still, not all of this were there were tough and played a is due to the boat; we have gotten good game," said Eric Klineberg. While Klineberg said that the de- games, the team will rest until April that we use was broken for a while, fense again had a good game, he 18, when it meets Stephen F. Austin and we didnt get to practice as much much better as a team." Among the defensemen who had good games, Klineberg singled out pointed out that the middis'play made State University. Klineberg said that Darrell Whitley and Will Langston, as the difference. He also praised the the team is looking ahead to the South- well as the performance of freshman play of goalie Chris Arntzen, saying western Lacrosse Championships, William Lee. Klineberg was also "He is a god. He was dominating." which begin on April 24. With its strong pleased with the return of Jody Klineberg added that Arntzen shut performancesagainstTexas A&M and Hughes, one of the team captains, down the Aggie offense during the Trinity, Rice will be considered one of Escondido who had been previously injured. first quarter and during a 10 minute the favorites. Coffee Bar Call us if you want to talk! Also, lecturers, philosophers, and amateur speakers. You can receive a free dinner for speaking at the Escondido Coffee Bar!

Members of vocal or other musical acts too! Call for details. Capuccino, espresso, chess, games, etc. A great place to relax!

Next door to Chapultepec 813 Richmond • 522-2365 Monday Nights UNPLUGGED A Rice Lacrosse player advances the ball against an A&M defender. JOBS FOR STUDENTS International Permanent or summer full-time evenings A SERIOUS START Telecommunications Featuring: w Vi Corporation American Learning Systems Shake Russell Needs Exceptional Applications For Our business is Education, Information, and Marketing. We'd like to train Secretarial/Receptionist Positions. and Jack Sanders \ \ lOOCollege Students for positions in these areas during an intensive Student Ability to type is required. Must have Internship Program. No matter what you career plans are, there are certain perfect diction and an Exceptional skills, talents and experiences thatwill help you succeed in life. Here are just Grasp of the English Language. a few of the benefits of our Student Program! $1.50 Domestic Beers Only Positive People Need Apply. • Professional training • Communication skills $2.00 Faiita Tacos • Excellent pay • Positive attitude Salary $6-$10/Hour. Full-time only. • Self-confidence • Scholarships • Self-motivation • Self discipline Must have at least one year of college • Opportunity to travel • (preferably majors in Communications, 2540lMversity Business Mgmt/Mktg, or Computer To qualify, you must be sharp, bright, enthusiastic, enjoy meeting and Information Sys). on the Roof dealing with people and be willing to work harder than you ever have in 5206660 ^ your life to make these qualities payoff. Pay during the Student Program can EQUAL OPPORTUNITY EMPLOYER Minorities Encouraged To Apply. range from $275 to $825 a week. We invite you to visit with us for an IN THE interview. , Call 713-583-9696 NW 1960 Area VILLAGE Also Spanish-English Bilingual Posi- CALL MR. BASS AT (713) 977-9107 FOR AN APPOINTMENT!! tions. SPORTS THE RICE THRESHER FRIDAY, APRIL 2. 1993 15 Rockets are trying their best to lose Intramural Announcements by Stuart Krohn NBA Of course they heeled to a bunch tributed to their so soon forgotten Men's College Softball will begin the week of April 5th. Check with of dogs, and dozed through those last success. your sports reps. five minutes. It amazes me that these grown The Rockets have fallen and they The Rockets' 15 game winning men who are paid millions to play a Jill Pitman Jones and J. R. Barker award forms/letters are due cant get up. They are beginning to streak was founded on strong defense, boys game are unable to keep playing awake from their dreamy run at win- and controlling the balL They had 22 aggressively no matter the circum- today, Fri., April 21993. ning, and have now lost four out of turnovers against Minnesota; Michael stances. I dont care if one player is their last six games. Williams stole the ball 6 times all by having an off shooting night, or if Men's College Tennis Championship is Sun., April 4th at 12:30 The juggernaut Minnesota himself another is getting smoked by the man p.m. Timberwolves, who incidentally have And the defense was for the dogs. he is guarding—never stop running the coblest pregame team intro in the The Wolves out-scored the Rockets and eventually, good things will hap- NBA, became the latest lame team to 23-7 in the last five minutes. Project pen. Final play results deadline for make lapdogs of the Rockets. that score out to a full 48 minutes and The Wolves were able to win be- • Women's singles tennis They slapped the Rockets off the you Vegot20064, the biggest blowout cause they had this attitude. Being • Women's doubles tennis court by running away with the fourth in NBA history. down by 15 points didnt faze them • Mixed doubles tennis quarter and a 101-100 victory. This is The Wolves are normally one of They kept running the court, and sim- most aggravating because these same the meekest offensive teams in the ply played their game. The Rockets is Wed April 7th. Please report all scores at 285-5398. league, that is their offense is usually stopped playing defense and had no quite offensive. answers but Hakeem on offense. The The College track and field meet will be held Thurs. April 15th, It amazes me that these The Rockets apparently took this Wolves stupefied them with the well- field events and 5k run at 5 p.m. and running events at 6 p.m. as a challenge, and did their best to known and easily-defeated full court Entries are due Mon. April 12th. grown men who are paid make Doug West, Chuck Person and press defense. Michael Williams look like members The Rockets have several weeks millions to play a boys of the Dream Team. left to regain their top form before the Camp counselors needed call Lisa 285-5398 I prayed in an earlier article not for season ends. Despite their recent game are unable to keep wins and losses, but consistent, solid losses, they are still leading their divi- All forfeit fees will be available after April 14 th. Please pick them team effort The problem is not that sion, and if they can remember what up before you leave school. playing aggressively no the Rockets have simply lost four of elusive secret gets them to play hard, six games, it's that they arent hus- they should remain on top and finally For more information, call Lisa or Bill at 285-5398. matter the circumstances.tlin g or doing those things that con- do something in the play-offs.

T-wolves beat the Rockets in Houston a month ago to stall their briefwinning streak before the magnificent 15- gamer. The Rockets seemed ripe to take their revenge, leading 93-78 with five minutes to go. I relaxed at that point, deciding we had another road win in the bag. AUTHENTIC ATHLETIC APPAREL In the back of my mind, I worried that the Rockets might also feel the game was over, and coast the last five minutes. At the time, I reassured my- self that these are professional basket- ball players, and that their jobs are to play the game for a full forty-eight minutes. How quickly we forget, this is the Rocketswe are talking about, the most Rice Thresher •'••eeesi'e • consistently inconsistent team in the • • • • • • Be nice to SCOREBOARD the new

MEN'S VOLLEYBALL Sunday 3:15PM League W L Token 9, Big 2 Huevos Grande Sports Editors! Championship Game Chunks & Chabes 3 1 Keish's 4, Pump 3 Centripedal Force The Team to Beat d. East Meets The Random Sample 2 2 Token 7, I'm 3 Snow White's Seven Dwarfs West 15-5,16-14 Not Right Now 2 2 Token d. Pump by forfeit Careful with that Disc... Be a The Megaflops 2 2 Buried in Mecca COED SOFTBALL Havers and Lackers 1 3 Friday League 2 W L Three Marios in the Fountain Saturday 10:45AM League W Results BJ and the Bears 4 0 Entropy Incarnate Team Freshman Wiess 4 Megaflops 7, Random 6 In Honor of Matt McGillicutti 3 1 Results Sports Rock Solid 3 Chunks d. Havers by forfeit Illusions of Grandeur II 2 2 Entropy 7, Three 3 Possum Kingdom 2 Pressed Ham 0 3 Huevos 25, Buried 1 The Non-Sequiturs 1 Playoff Results DOA 0 3 Careful 9, Centripedal 7 Latinos Are Better Lovers 0 Oh L'Amour 8, Pun Fang Tang 5 Results Huevos 25, Snow 1 Results Last Out Buys 15, Javalinas 14 BJ 11, Illusions 0 Careful 14, Three 2 Writer! Team d. Rock by forfeit The Random Sample 6, Belly Itchers 5 In 17, DOA 7 Centripedal 8, Buried 6 Possum d. Non- by forfeit Chunks & Chabes 18, Team Freshman BJ 18, iSOA 1 Wiess 11 BJ 4, In 3 WOMEN'S COLLEGE SOFTBALL Saturday 1PM League W Illusions d. Pressed by forfeit Brown 13, Wiess 7 You'll be Cho-Yeh Queequegs 5 MEN'S SOFTBALL Hanszen 19, Baker 9 Belly Itchers 4 Wednesday League W L Saturday League W L Jones 8, Wiess 4 Sado-Magnetism 3 Men With Ego's 5 0 Who Needs Dwayne 4 0 Sid Rich 10, Brown 0 cool! Owls & Pussycats 1 Sid Bomber Squad 4 1 TCB-TMC 3 1 Hanszen 7, Jones 4 Who Cares 0 Whoatas 3 2 The Wrecking Crew 2 2 Brown 10, Hanszen 6 Do it. People will like you. Team Chemistry 0 Robbie Sucks 2 3 Nuts to You 1 3 Results Scared Hitless 1 4 The Unnaturals 0 4 WOMEN'S COLLEGE BASKETBALL Cho- d. Who by forfeit Batters in the Box 0 5 Results Jones 39, Will Rice 13 Belly d. Owls by forfeit Results Who 10, TCB-TMC 6 Wiess 48, Brown 18 Cho- d. Sado by forfeit Men 10, Robbie 8 Nuts 16, Unnaturals 1 Wiess 30, Jones 12 Belly 12, Team 6 Scared d. Batters by forfeit Hanszen 40, Lovett 24 Who vs. Owls double forfeit Sid 7, Whoatas 2 Playoff Results Wiess 47, Lovett 30 Sid Bomber Squad 11, TCB-TMC 0 CM MI Saturday 2:15PM League W Thursday League W L I'm Your Dad 15, T.F.W. 1 MEN'S COLLEGE VOLLEYBALL Sourav's Slammers 5 T.F.W. 4 1 Sid Bomber Squad 11, Big Swinging GSA d. Will Rice 154, 154 Javalinas 3 Big Swinging Sticks 4 1 Sticks 8 Wiess d. Jones 15-2, 9-15, 15-8 Last Out Buys 3 Los Barrachos 2 3 BJ and the Bears 13, Token Opposition Hanszen d. Brown by forfeit Pun Fang Tang Boom 2 Ohm Runs 2 3 VII 4 Jones d. Hanszen 15-8, 15-10 Oaves & Babes 1 Foobar Bazball 2 3 Men With Egos 6, I'm Your Dad 2 Baker d. Will Rice 15-10, 15-4 LSAT Chicken Alfredo 0 Flying Burrito Brothers 1 4 GSA d. Wiess 1512, 15-7 Results Results ULTIMATE FRISBEE Baker d. Jones 15-4, 15-5 Javalinas 12, Daves 3 Big 10, Los 3 Blue League W Wiess d. Baker 15-13, 19-17 Sourav's 9, Pun 7 T.F.W. 16, Ohm 10 Age & Treachery 5 Sourav's 12, Daves 5 Foobar 24, Los 4 Schwing 4 CO-ED VOLLEYBALL GRE Last 7, Javalinas 6 Ohm 8, Big 7 DISCiples 3 Championship Game 1 he Test Is When? Pun 5, Chicken 1 T.F.W. 21, Foobar 6 Scotsmen of the Apocalypse 2 Brian's Dreams d. T.LO.C. 1W, i I.ism's ionium; Nov Los 8, Flying 3 The D2's 1 15-13 i all 1-800-KAP-TI S I Sunday 2PM League W L Big d. Flying by forfeit Catbutt 1 Oh L'Amour 3 1 Screech Money 1 MEN'S COLLEGE SOCCER Stand Up Stella 3 1 Friday League 1 W L Results Championship Game KAPLAN Vagisil 3 1 Token Opposition VII 4 0 Age 17, D2's 2 GSA 0/4, Brown 0/2 Job Squad 1/^3 I'm Your Dad 3 1 DISCiples 7, Screech 6 Jones 0 4 Keish's Cast 1 2 Schwing 15, Scotsmen 3 COLLEGE aOOR HOCKEY Results Pump and Treat 1 3 Catbutt 10, Screech 5 Will Rice 7, Brown 3 Call for starting dates! Oh d. Jones by forfeit Big Sticks 0 3 DISCiples 7, Scotsmen 2 Baker 8, Jones 1 Vagisil d. Job by forfeit Results Hanszen 5, Sid Rich 0 Stand d. Job by forfeit I'm 9, Big 8 Gray League W L Lovett 10, Wiess 1 988-4700 Brown 3, Jones 2 16 FRIDAY, APRIL 2,1993 THE RICE THRESHER BACKPAGE We're done! We're done! Our last Backpage. Sniff. Hope you liked the Elvis page, the murder myster- • 36 days until graduation! Get us the heli ies, the limericks, the personals, the April 2 out of here! •Jones Generic TG. 4-6 p.m. New Age crap, and these wonderful, • Wiess Film: Pee Wee's Big Adventure. 7,9, and 11 p.m. Chem Leo. space-filling, long headlines Misclass •Theatre, through Saturday: "That Rice drummer looks like coach- In a crowded tent, over break: "It's largely the death penalty that Man of La Mancha, SRC. ing material." "That is NOT my elbow!" keeps me from killing my wife." Grease, Wiess. —TV announcer reacting to wild- —James Q. Wilson, guest speaker Write Onstage, Rice Players. eyed MOBster at SWC tournament. Heard after an oops: in Criminology "I thought she said 'Come in.'" Tuesday, • Studettes Night at the pub. 10 p.m. 0 ne of the coaches at women's rugby —Wiess freshman "You can now fax your requests to practice: the Almighty." April 6 "You better start wearing underwear, "You see that thing you're holding in —Talya Fishman, Jewish History II or else you're going to get that... that front of you? Well, pull on it!" And we now accept tithes by Wednesday, • Baker Spring Fever TG. 4-6 p.m. bread thing." —Coxswain of men's crew, in ecstasy Mastercard, Visa, and Am Ex. April 7 during a hard practice on Sunday. "Charles Eliot, almost TopTen PlacesTo Fuck On Campus: singlehandedly, with a lot of help "It's like all good physics examples: 10. Biochemistry building catwalk. Thursday, • No classes! Catch up on MASC 223. from other people..." massless, frictionless, and pointless." 9. Rupp's pool. Ap^8 —Dr. Schneider, SOSC 102 —Dr. Dodds, NSCI230 8. The podium in Chem Lec/Lon Wilson's office. Saturday, • Rugby Western National Tournament "You can beat on my roommate all "It actually hurt!" 7. Central Kitchen—how else would you want, but you just can't beat on —Wiess freshman on the attentions they get last Tuesday's dessert? April 10 at Rice. Through Sunday. his dick. His dick is mine!" paid him by an inebriated 6. Thresher/Campanile darkroom —overheard in Sid, one Thursday, Wiesswoman in heat. 5. Willy's lap. Sunday, • Easter. All happy heathens can now eat after the Pub. 4. Stadium during Rice/Navy game. April 11 chocolate bunnies. Everyone else: go "These are fascist chords asserting 3. Any Fondren study room. to church. Pick up half-price choco- "It's much easier for me to stand up their authority over the piece." 2. In line at the bookstore—Lord late bunnies tomorrow. And Peeps. here and criticize you." —Phil Ratli, MUSI 117 knows, you've got time. —Dr. Engel, CHEM 212 1. The steps to Lovett Hall. Overheard from a Baker fifth year: Thursday, • La Cagnotte, a French film, 7:30 p.m. "I'll have to stay up all night reading "My dreams are very sarcastic—but "Smoke some dope, have wonderful April 15 Herring Hail. Through Saturday. $1. about sleep deprivation!" they don't let me in on the joke." experiences." —PSYC 101 frosh We're really sorry, man. —Dr. Martin, Criminology And if you didn't, may a rabid camel spit upon your forehead Notes and Notices

l/)ST AT BEER BIKE: Tool box. Last 4/3, 4/10, 4/17, 4/24, and 5/1. The summer camp sessions beginning June seen in the Young Alumni tent. Please morning shift leaves from the RMC 27 and ending July 30. Previous camp turn into the Student Activities Office. Cloisters at 8 a.m. and returns at 12:30 counseling and/or water safety instruc- 527-4097. p.m. The afternoon shift leaves from the tion a definite plus. Salary will be $5.00 Cloistera at noon and returns around 4 an hour. For more information, call Lisa 60/20/20: WILL THE U.S. Be Able To p.m. Please call Jennie at 630-8054, Wldner at 285-5398. & Compete? A panel discussion on diver- Nick at 799-2372, orStephanieat527- a & sity in the workplace will be held Tues., 0446 for more information. "THE PHOTONICS REVOLUTION in Apr. 6, 7-9 p.m., in the Famsworth Telecommunications", a lecture by Dr. OTESEC/fE Patvillion. Sponsored by ADVANCE. SPEND A YEAR in England or Germany Herwig Kogelnik, Director Photonics and earn credits toward your degree for Laboratory, AT&T Bell Laboratories, 5092 Richmond /Ve. FREE DINNER. Rice Vegetarian Club. te same $$ you pay for Rice. A variety of will be Tues., Apr. 6,4 p.m. Sew all Hall (Between 610 & Sage) AO invited. Sat, Apr. 3 Jone Commons. majors qualify. Deadlines for 1993-94 301. Presented by the Electrical and Presentation 6 p.m. See you there! exchange applications have been ex- Computer Engineering Department Houston, TX 77036 tended. See Pat Martin, Academic Ad- THE TRUMAN SCHOLARSHIP Foun vising, for more information. CAREER SERVICES: dation has extended the application • Orientation to Life Bayond The Hedges: (713)621-2888 deadline for residents of the following PARTIAL SCHOLARSHIPS available for Financial Planning. Meredith Smith states: Arkansas, D of C, Louisiana, our 1993 summer program in Spain. from NationsBank will outline how to Maine, Missouri, Montana, New Jersey, For more information, stop by Rayzor plan a budget, gather savings, and selsct New Mexico, Puerto Rico, Vermont, Hall 103 or call 285-5451. a bank. Mon., Apr. 5, 4 p.m. Career Our second location is only six miles Wyoming. If you are a current Rice Services Conference Room. juniorwith a 3.2 CPA, resident of one of THE OUTDOOR NATURE CLUB is 70 from Rice University. Come enjoy these states, and you are interested in a years old! Join us for an all day celebra- • Information Session for the Joint Ven- career in public service, contact Dr. tion Sun., Apr. 4,11 a.m.-4 p.m. at the ture Program: Learn about HUMA301, Schdd, Office of Student Advising, Ley Houston Art>oreturn and Nature Cen- the 3 hr. course entitled Introduction to real Homestyle Chinese Cooking Student Center as soon as possible. ter. 4501 Woodway(in Memorial Park). Business, where liberal arts students For more information, call 780-2828. receive an introduction ito the business SWIM TEAM MANAGER needed for world in exciting and experience-gain- 40 entries from $5,951 next year. Pays partial tuition. Swim- ASSOCIATION FOR WOMEN in Sci- ing internships. Tues., Apr. 6, 4 p.m. ming experience helpful but not re- ence presents a Science Career Oppor- Second Floor Conference Room. quired. Hours flexible. Call Coach Kris tunities Fair. Sat., Apr. 17, 9 a.m.-12 Wingenroth or Asst. Coach Mary Roth at p.m., Autry House. Breakfast with AWIS •Students interested in participating in Free soft drink with your Rice ID! 527-4077. members and other women scientists. the Joint Venture Internship Program R.S.V.P. by Apr. 14, 794-1725. can pick up applications in the Career New location only, expires 4/30/93 RICE HABrTAT FOR HUMANITY will Services Center. Deadline: Wed., Apr. work both morning and afternoon shifts COUNSELORS ARE NEEDED for four 7, 5 p.m. We shall now resume our normal lives FIND OUT IF with an extra ten hours per week to spend drinking heavily Classified Ads YOU'RE READY AWARD-WINNING RICE AREA looking for enthusiastic, outgoing sell- SENIORS! SEND YOUR RELATIVES A FOR THIS YEAR'S Montessori School needs part-time subs ing associates who love to work with PHOTOGRAPH of you in your an- or assistants. Ideal for students who customers. Must be fashion forward. nouncements—they'll send you more need flexible schedules. Children's ages Please call Maria Schandor at 973- money! (Well, maybe.) Have your por- range from 3 months-10 years; you may 9323. trait done by a Rice alum, Kathy, at 266- choose age groupings with whom you 2470. Ask about our graduation pack- LSAT, GMAT, are most comfortable. GREEKS AND CLUBS: Raise a cool age. $1,000.00in just one week! Plus $1000 CRUISE SHIPS NOW HIRING—Earn for the member who calls! And a free DEVOTED, LOVING COUPLE seek to $2,OOOf/month + world travel (Hawaii, Igloo cooler if you qualify. Call 1 -800- share happy life with newborn. Lovely GRE, OR MCAT. Mexico, the Caribbean, etc.) Holiday, 932-0528, ext. 65. neighborhood, full-time mom. Both col- summer, and career employment avail- lege-educated and professionally em- able. No experience necessary. For em- BABYSITTER WANTED. Live in/out. ployed. Large extended family, tradi- This spring you can take the only national practice ployment program, call 1-206-634- For my 4 year old son. Nights/week- tional values, active lifestyle. Legal ex- 0468 ext. C5849. ends. Must have driver's license. Call penses paid. Call Carol collect: (914) graduate examinations administered under actual test Anna 798-3284 days, 796-1820 eves. 725-8047. conditions. Students have been taking the PSAT to WANTED: COURT SPORTS TEACHER prepare for the SAT for years. Now people thinking of one or two hours a week. Will come to PROOFREADER NEEDED to correct SLOVAKIA/POLAND SUMMER TRIPS attending graduate school have the opportunity to Rice. Beginner-plus level. Goal: fun and documents using WP 5.1. Must be led by local students. Hike scenic moun- take the The Princeton Review's Pre-LSAT, Pre-GMAT, exercise. Call Grace Stuart 524-3561. accurate and efficient with eye for de- tain trails, visit a gypsy village, explore Pre-GRE, or Pre-GMAT and become eligible for an tail. Afternoon preferred, hours flex- castles and medieval towns, meet Slo- ARRAY IS ABOUT TO SHAKE UP the ible, rate starts $5.50/hr. Send resuml vaks and Poles. For details, call 800- American Community Service award. fashion scene! Houston, GaOeria. We're to S. Hanson fax * 529-4385. 666-JOIN. Thank Godfor smal l favors. (800) 995-5565 Love, Erica and John. The Pre-Exams are sponsored by The Princeton Review, the nation's leader in test prep The American Community Service Awards are sponsored by American Express. ' T».S.KICK SOME aurr!1 Princeton U. and the Educational Testing Service are not affiliated with The Princeton Review