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Home , Helen Razer, NME, Rolling Stone, Savage Garden, Silverchair

Is There Anything Left To Say About Music? While defending the value of in his online blog, British rock critic has unwittingly made enemies of , the Vines, street press and half of H By Everett True H

y name is everett true. i plaudits in equal measure. Paul Weller said of me, I grew up at a – before the Internet, before a British music critic. This is “If was any other line of business, I’d punch the MySpace and YouTube and blogs – when the . I examine, evaluate cunt out”. got up on stage dressed in a British music press were Gods Almighty, invested and pass judgment upon music clown suit, because I’d called him a clown. Some- with all the power they cared to command: taste- – M , in particular. The clue is in my job one claiming to be the ex-manager of mewling Brit makers, filters, community leaders. I grew up be- title: music critic. indie-pop stars held a glass to my throat lieving there was no such thing as a bad interview – For years, I would create and wreck careers for 10 minutes. sent his personal manager that if there was no story happening, you went out with a flick of my pen, a flurry on the keyboard – over to me with a signed hatchet (“Do your duty and created the story yourself, whatever it took. first for British music paper NME, then for Melody – love, Bono”). smashed up a guitar People contend that music journalists are Maker and thereafter for as many music publi- onstage in , thinking of me. Courtney failed musicians, wreaking their . Bull- cations as you can name. I gained brickbats and Love knocked out one of my teeth. And so on. shit. Music journalists – at least from where I am

Illustration by Andrew Alligham , December 2008 • 37 looking – are failed . Either are being given a atmosphere among the street press, account for vanilla amendments too shy or too ugly to sleep with platform. Why aren’t they using it? to keep the two separate – advertis- and pointed out that the high-end the artists they desire, they shower Former Ro l l i n g St o n e music edi- ing and editorial.” restaurant was not the sort of place them in reams of purple praise (or tor Jeff Apter writes, “The unspoken Advertisers shouldn’t be dictating her sales team would ever approach. hatred) instead. reality in the street press is that the content, though – should they? Dur- ‘We just think it’s important to be I believe that music criticism – at larger the ad you buy, the bigger the ing the early days of Careless Talk, I positive,’ she said.” its finest – is an art to rank alongside editorial coverage. All you need to a review of the Vines’ debut U.K. the medium it evaluates. I’ve always do is flick through the pages of any show. It called early time on bullshit: o i wrote my first contended that music criticism must street press magazine and check the “The Vines create rock music for Guardian blog about the be an art, because we make those ads against the editorial: they often people who have no idea how rush- lack of a national dialogue most ordinary of creatures – the that extends across the rock musician – sound fascinating. Swhole of press, and My job should enhance the experi- “The American music press is shoved in a throwaway line about ence of listening to music in every Silverchair and the Vines being respect – inform, enliven, uncover – completely deferential. And the “abominations against nature” to but above all, it should entertain. illustrate – somewhat clumsily – my This is the entertainment indus- Australian music press . . . Well, there point, and then I forgot about it. It’s try, after all. isn’t really one to speak of. It’s not what I do. Sound off about stuff, and I write: first, to make others jeal- move on. ous of me; second, to make sense of worth discussing the Australian music I’m a music critic. my own life; and third, because I press.” – , Magazine, The first inkling I had that can no longer dance. If I could still something was wrong was when I dance, none of the following furore March 2007 received a furious string of text would have happened. messages from a friend who shared a house with one of the street press few months ago, i Immersed in punk editors. “That was an ill-informed moved to with Everett considers himself a and badly thought-out piece of criti- my wife and three-year- music lover and is cism,” she raged. “Now I can’t invite old son. Since 2001, I passionate about a large you over to my house.” Brisbane had A created and published two na- number of Aussie bands. newspaper The Courier-Mail ran a tional U.K. music magazines with no news item on the story – focusing on outside funding – Careless Talk Costs the Silverchair angle, and the fact I Lives, with venerated rock pho- was English (something I had over- tographer Steve Gullick, and Plan looked) – and all hell broke loose. B Magazine (which is still going). My wife’s brother called from Mel- Their focus was/is on the slipstream, bourne to inform us that I’d made stuff that is often overlooked front page of the free commuter paper. in the seething maelstrom of record In the space of 24 hours, I spoke to sales and radio hype (Erase Errata, eight different local ABC stations, ap- the Vivian Girls, Gossip, Minimum peared on a Channel Ten chat show Chips). I felt it was time for a change. (where the presenters acted outraged So we moved to Australia, and I when I suggested were ordinary) began looking at ways I could engage and was pilloried across a dozen with the mainstream once . mainstream newspapers – and their I started writing a blog for British match. It damages credibility for of-blood-to-the-head wonderful rock websites – for a) being English and b) newspaper . both the act and the magazine.” music can be.” The day after the re- daring to criticise Silverchair. For my first column, I focused on Was I making a fundamental view appeared, the Vines’ record “Their last won several the lack of a critical discourse that mistake in even engaging with the company pulled all advertising. I ARIAs,” stated one DJ. “Doesn’t that goes right across the arts in Aus- Australian street press? What is its didn’t remonstrate with – or fire – mean anything to you?” tralia – broadsheets, monthlies . . . purpose? Would-be imitators of the the critic (as often happens in the Well, no. I don’t believe in award all the way down to the street press. British music press, or a glorified Australian street press). ceremonies. Isn’t it reward enough In particular, I was dismayed at the gig guide – there to be perused one How could I? The writer was me. that millions of kids buy and love way the Australian street press had second, and thrown away the next? Besides, the majority of our adver- their records? changed so little from 1999, when In America, where similar publica- tisers appreciated our independent “Who would you have given the we lived in Melbourne for a year tions exist, editorial is notable for its stance – and realised it reflected well ARIAs to?” (and where I worked for street press willingness to engage in debate and upon their clients to appear in such a You don’t understand me. I don’t title Inpress for free). No thought is fiery opinions. “These magazines publication. believe in awards. given to presentation, with adverts are free,” I wrote in my blog. “Their Contrast that to this story from The message boards went into frequently placed on the cover (or as financial stability and continuing former presenter and art overdrive. It was -most wraparounds) – it’s as if the publish- existence have nothing to with sales pundit Helen Razer: “A Sydney read story on news.com.au (after the ers are tacitly admitting the useless- figures. Why not feature whoever publication once commissioned me one about a Catholic schoolteacher ness of the words inside. This angers the fuck you like?” to provide a ‘rock & roll restaurant posing for saucy photos), one thread me: firstly, because it’s obvious that “I find it hard to deal with the way review’. My 500 non-litigable words on Mess and Noise alone boasted 470 street press content is mostly gener- street press relies upon advertising,” were edited with the sort of force comments, and any number of self- ated by enthusiasts and music fans, admits Brisbane street press editor, that’d put the politburo to shame. righteous Australian columnists got which gives it a certain authenticity; Tsunami’s Gav Britton. “Everyone In essence, the published piece read, to air their opinion that I should go and secondly, there’s nothing I hate scratches each other’s backs, and ‘This place serves food in exchange straight back to if I didn’t so much as a wasted opportunity. it’s hard, with such a competitive for money’. I asked the editor to like it over here. peterson charles

38 • Rolling Stone, December 2008 Sigh. “because it read exactly like that’s I was taken aback by both the what you were after – exactly as I’d the guardian blog that started it all sheer scale and force of the reaction. expect, if I’d barged into someone Was it that big a deal that one Brit- else’s country and started criticis- True Tales: the exiled ish critic didn’t like one ? ing their local bands. It was a pretty Can you imagine the reaction if the good way for a journalist to get his outbursts of our man inverse happened – if an Australian name back into the headlines, and it critic went on record as saying they worked. The piece missed the mark in Australia didn’t like, say, Oasis or ? by a long shot, but the reason you Rock critic Everett True has relocated to Brisbane and, in Well, exactly. got such a strong reaction was peo- his first weekly blog, he explains why he’s not happy with “Silverchair aren’t untouchables ple thinking they’d been invaded by the local music press as such,” Sydney Morning Herald Britain again. Australians don’t have much respect for press – it runs counter critic Bernard Zuel muses, “but “It read like you’d maybe picked up to their culture. Australian rock is all about “Good on ya, mate – well they’re essentially liked. People have a couple of issues of the street press,” done for getting up on stage and switching that amplifier on”. The idea of anyone daring to criticise musicians for the sound they make seen them go from kids to men. You Mast continues, “without being is heresy. Everyone is treated equally, which means no knocking picked the right band to criticise, aware of its 20 year history. It felt anyone back, however great the temptation. (That’ll be why Australian because everyone knows Silver- unduly harsh, speaking as an editor rock is best known to the outside world for such musical abominations chair – even if they don’t know their where my writers get anything from as Silverchair, the Vines and .) Sport is the predominant music. So someone on a website or death threats to dildos to having beer culture here, and music is similarly viewed as a leisure activity – it’s all about “work rate”, “dedication” and “goals scored”. Unsurprisingly, TV show can say, ‘English critic says cans thrown at them from Jet, because Australians get the music press they deserve. Silverchair are crap’ and get a run we’ve always spoken the truth.” There’s jmag - a made-to-order with it. Even so, hundreds of music fans magazine produced by Melbourne’s “It’s that duel inferiority complex went online to voice their support Triple J radio station that does a of thinking that the English know for my comments, and to agree that passable imitation of NME. There’s Australian Ro l l i n g St o n e - like American more,” Zuel continues, “and ‘What Australia really is lacking any seri- Ro l l i n g St o n e only with added the hell do you know, you’re not from ous tradition of music criticism: Silverchair. There’s a slew of round here?’ Part of the was plus, it praises its own bands too magazines and imports of Uncut, Mojo part of the reason the story ran at all. indiscriminately. and Q littering the newsstands – plus a handful of artistic-leaning “style You’re an English critic. If you’d been “This touches on a broader issue bibles” that appear for a few months Australian, no one would have cared. about our engagement with culture, and fade into the ether. And then There’s still a view that English music which is still a million miles away there’s the street press . . . magazines are a highpoint.” from Europe or America,” states Or maybe it’s because Australia Zuel. “There’s the sheer size of Aus- Recently, I was interviewed by a handful of street press writers to is seeking international acclaim, but tralia and distance between its cit- promote a show I was playing in can’t take criticism, only praise; and ies. There’s one national newspaper, Brisbane with ace pick-up garage band still judges itself in a national – even read by three people. The national Young Liberals. The first question out local – setting. (Does this then lead magazines are women’s magazines. of the blocks every time was, “What do you do when you have to interview to any levels of plagiarism from other Men don’t buy magazines – and men a band you don’t like?” Excuse me? I countries, because there’s no con- provide the bulk of readership for don’t understand the query. You’re text within which to judge original- music magazines. There isn’t a na- getting paid less than a pittance (if ity on an international scale?) Ironi- tional perspective, because the num- you’re getting paid at all) for writing cally, one of my main points in the bers aren’t there – so people do it on for a crappy free magazine given away on of your city . . . and original blog – that Australians are a smaller scale, in their city. Newspa- you’re interviewing bands you don’t unable to take criticism from outsid- pers didn’t even take music seriously like? Why? What is the point? These ers, despite a reputation for being 15 years ago, and it’s still a constant magazines are free: their financial passionate people unafraid to speak struggle to make them view music as stability and continuing existence have their minds – was being borne out an area of serious discussion. ‘Why nothing to with sales figures. Why not feature who the fuck you like? with each fresh comment of “Fuck can’t you do it in 50 words and give it “Ah. . .” the “journalists” bleat. “It’s off , Pom”. a star rating?’” because of the advertisers . . .” “It’s not so much that Australia has “Australians suffer from a weird Ah yes, those bastard advertisers . . . the guilty page True’s blog sure pissed off a few people. a weak tradition of music criticism,” fusion of self-loathing with swag- Listen up. Back in the U.K., I helm explains one industry insider, “more ger,” reckons Razer. “Think of us, the national monthly (Plan B Magazine) that is still going strong after that the U.K.’s got a very strong tra- if you like, as a reckless adolescent 35 issues. It encourages discourse, opinion and passion, but it certainly dition, out of proportion. Australia with an untreated learning disorder. doesn’t praise indiscriminately. It built itself up from nothing – no outside is still a small country, relatively We yearn for adult approval but do funding, just a handful of enthusiasts working from their bedrooms – to speaking. There are 15 times more not actively seek it out. Instead, we its position today, with offices in London and a small and (low) paid staff. And it has an incredibly strong advertising base, most of which is just as writers, 15 times more bands that sublimate our craving into sports passionate about the magazine and the music it covers as the readers matter in America, and it becomes and bluster.” who buy it. pro rata-ish. There is “It’s the natural sensitivity of the in- Simply, there are two types of advertiser. The first thinks that here, but there’s less of it – Robert secure,” agrees Zuel, “in this case the appearing in shitty free, badly-designed publications that nobody Forster’s writing for The Monthly, junior version of the American and bothers to read and everyone throws away after glancing through the live ads is the best way to promote their clients’ wares; basically, by Mess and Noise online…” U.K. music scene, which has never supporting what amounts to paid-for advertorials. The second realises Not everyone thought my original shaken off the cultural cringe. The that their clients are actually far better served by appearing in “cool” intentions were innocent, though. difference now is you’ve got a quickly (passionate/hip/intelligent) magazines because this coolness reflects “I find it difficult to believe that disseminated Internet, and people are back upon their client, and makes their wares seem far more attractive to you were surprised by the response,” desperate to fill space – and you’ve the casual consumer. comments Street Press Australia got almost a perfect storm of circum- But I guess it’s their choice. managing editor Andrew Mast, stances for something like this.”

Rolling Stone, December 2008 • 39 n recent years, it has be- come the vogue to argue that the day of the music critic is over – because there are so I many opportunities to discover new music on the Internet, through streaming and blogs. This argument is specious. That’s like claiming we no longer need to listen to music, be- cause there are so many alternative forms of entertainment. “There’s a global trend away from quality music criticism in general,” states one Sydney insider. “There was a great article in the L.A. Times last year, where the writer asked, ‘What is the role of the critic in a world where there is so much in- formation, where people are more likely to take their cue from Ama- zon’s reviews?’ What is the role of a critic in a The Legend world full of Pitchforks and blogs? So the idea of a Everett True was the first general guru arbiter taste foreign journalist to write role is under threat – as about ’s burgeoning music scene in the Nineties. are the days when a Paul Then known as “The Morley or an Everett Legend”, he is credited with True would say ‘This is coining the term “” good’ and people felt they and was friends with key had to buy it. The very grungers, in particular, Kurt fact you’re doing more of Cobain. Top: Wrestling with your trademark stuff on- the Dwarves. Bottom: Hanging with a fresh-faced line than in print proves Cobain in Seattle. this. Very few people are biting the hand that feeds anymore – and this leads to a general dumbing down.” So what is the role of the critic in 2008, in a world where you can hear any piece of music you desire – usu- ally for free – on the Internet; and where the written word has been devalued through overuse? A critic is only as important as their read- ers make them – like Gods, their power ceases if folk stop believing in them. Obviously to some extent the same could be said about music – but the ease with which you can now access a million different songs or create your own hasn’t stopped mega-artists from continuing to be mega-artists. A piece of art retains its value long Great critics set themselves apart it, the weather outside, the people you in further directions to your after it’s created. by the power and fluency and per- you hung around with, the footie own self-delight . . . and far, far more. People need filters more than ever: suasion of their words, the way they score on TV, the amount of alcohol The fact you can watch Rolf Harris there is such a welter of confusion can amplify the original sensation of imbibed, your perception of the mu- performing “Sun Arise” for free on , such a morass of opin- listening to music a thousandfold, sician, the comments a friend might YouTube doesn’t change that. ion and views – the world is awash the way a carefully chosen sequence have made about a particular riff or Ultimately, it’s bloody good fun with information, a confusing blend of words can prick the pompous, refrain or band member, knowledge discussing music – or film, or fash- of Joe, Age 16, enthusing about his lift the unknown. The experience of the past . . . all of these – and thou- ion, or paintings, or sport – and in mate’s band last night, and advertis- of enjoying a piece of music has sands more – are factors that serve the process you may well discover er-driven radio playlists and publica- never been a straightforward one to increase and decrease your enjoy- something hitherto hidden about tions. People need, more than ever, to of just sitting down and listening ment of the music. yourself and the world. And critics be able to turn to commentators they to it – sure, you can do that, but it’s And, at their height, the critic – when they’re performing their job can trust, and critics need to step up also about context. The shirt you can help capture all these feelings, well – can assist you in that task. to the plate and due their duty. were wearing when you listened to explain them, amplify them, prod Trust me. I’m a critic. charles peterson (3)

40 • Rolling Stone, December 2008