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THEPRIMARY SOURCE The Journal of Conservative Thought at Tufts University XI1 VERITAS SINE DOLO I Volume Number 12 A~ril6.1994L Get 'Iiufts' Voice of Reason for Just $25!

rr- Subscribe C3et finest (not mention most I to THE-BY Somm! &e to I account af @airs at Tufts and elsewhere Wvered to your doorstep. For jus I you can receive a Ml academic yeai's subscriaprian { 14 issues) via ftrst class deliwry. I 1 t] YES, I'll support Tufts' Journal of Conservative Thought. Enclosed is the $25 I subscription far the next fourteen issues. I fee i I 0 Enclosed is a tax-deductible contribution of $ I I 1 1 1 I Mdce checks psyabfe !Wmm 1 Name to: Tw PRIWRW I I Address Md TEJE P-RY ta: SOURCE $1 I city,state,zF ~ Mayer Campus Center I Tuffs Unlverdty 1 I Medford, 02155 I ...... MA -.I 2 THEPRIMARY SOURCE, APRIL 6,1994 THEPRIMARY SOURCE THE JOURNAL OF COMERVATNETHOUGHT AT Turn UNNERSITY

Chris Weinkopf CONTENTS Editor-in-Chief

-~ CAMPUSISSUES Departments Steve Seltzer Editor Steve Lester From the Editor...... 4 Assistant Editor Letters to the Editor...... 5 Commentary...... 6 NATIONALAND INTERNATIONALISSUES Fortnight in Review...... 8 David Mollow Notable and Quotable. 24 Editor ...... Colin Delaney AssistantR.P. Editor

AND 10 ARTS GRAPHICS Doron Stember Throw Away the Key Anna Papadopoulou Criminals in Jail-- a Novel Idea Editor Special Section Whitewater Runs Deep 11 Chris Zappala The Ins and Outs of Assistant Editor Colin R.P. Delaney Inbreeding in Arkansas 15 Impure a Rose. Law Firm PRODUCTION as .. Jonathan J. Oriole Chris Zappala What Care Crisis? 17 Manager Keep the System,Health Ditch the President Edward Havell Assistant Manager Edward Havell Criminal Politics 18 Dodging Issues, Dodging Bullets

BUSINESS David Mollow Smoke and Mirrors 19 Benn Lieberman Government is Carcinogenic Manager Steve Seltzer State of the Art Technology Chips Clipping Freedom 21 CONTRIBUTORS Matt Fountain, Jayne Wellman, Doron Stember, John Rickauer, Nick Griffith, Thad Green, Eric Enge1,Greg Gilman, Lena Mindlina, Chad Brooker PRIMARYSOURCE IS A NON-PRORT, STUDENT PUBLICATION Turn UNIVERSITY.THE OPINIONS THE OF FOUNDERS EXPRESSED IN ARTICLES, PHOTOS, CARTOONS, OR ADVERTISEMENTS ARE SOLELY THOSE OF THE INDIVIDUAL AUTHOR OR SPONSORS AND NOT NECESSARILY REFLEXT VIEWS OFTHE EDITORS OR PLEASE Brian Kelly, Dan Marcus DO THE THE STAFF. DIRECTALL CORRESPONDENCEM: 'I'm PRIMARYSOURCE, MAYER CAMPUS CENTER, Turns UNIVERSITY, MEDFORD,MASSACHUSEITS. 02155, (617) 627-3942. 01994. 1 THEPRIMARY SOURCE, APRJL 6, 1994 3

Dear Editor,

I am writing in response to Miss Papadopoulou’s article entitled “Demobilizing the Woman Warrior” in your March 9th issue. In this article, Miss Papadopoulou states that women should not be allowed into the combat units of the military, and perhaps the military itself. To restrict andor remove military women from the services would beunfair to the thousands already proudly serving in the U.S. military, and weaken our county’s defense. As the author admits, there are women who can meet the demanding physical and mental standards of the military, so that is not the issue here. Nor is their ability to fight in question, as they have proven in many countries, and even ours. So, the author contradicts herself. Either women are capable soldiers, which she admits, or they detract from the military’s ability to fight. Both cannot be true. Indeed, what Miss Papadopoulou bases her arguments on are the problems of sexual harassment, pregnancy, and the “macho camaraderie that holds the military together.” “Male bonding” is not the key to the military. Working in groups is. Groups bond through common experience. I am just as bonded to the women I train with as the men, and vice versa. We all care and look out for one another because we are a team, and our lives could depend on it. On the issue of pregnancy, a higher percentage of male soldiers are unfit for duty as the result of sports injuries and other mishaps than women who are out due to pregnancy. As for sexual harassment, any U.S.soldier who harasses another can be dealt with by the military justice system. As for the treatment and possible rape of female POWs, male and female POWs both have been sexually assaulted by their captors, and been treated in thoroughly inhuman ways. It is another ugly fact of war. If any woman can both meet the demanding physical and mental demands of the military and combat and accepts the risk of inhuman treatment as a POW, she should be allowed to serve, exactly as her male counterpart. Without women, the U.S. would be denying itself a corps of trained, motivated, and hard working soldiers; and women would be denied one of their many choices in the modern world.

Keith E. Patton LA ‘95 Midshipman, USNR President, Tufts Tri-Service Organization

The evidence is everywhere. After 20 years of affirma- Diver.sip C Division has challenged the conventional wisdom tive action, sensitivity training, bilingual education, black since 1()()1. studies, liberal guilt, and consenativeconlplaint, surveys show Now you can overhear what some of America’s brightest racial animosity incwases aniong young people during their young people are saying about the divisive issues of race and college ycardaybe all those,who Iiave been talking ought to culture. pipe down and listen. Clarity. It’s in the pages of America’s most provocative There’s a new voice. It’s the voice of Diversity G quarterly journd, Diversi!y C Division. Subscribe to it today Dirision, the voice of young writers of every 0. for onlv $1.1 per vear. race. They refuse to fight the battles of the Db 00’s; they reject the politically correct dog- & mas of the 00’s. From Haward to Stanford,

THEPRIMARY SOURCE, APRIL 6, 1994 5 Commentary “He’s a raving lunatic, a madman.” defense attorney Will- France On Fire iam Boggs declared in defense of his client’s behavior. Accord- ing to Boggs, Montana’s 1979 law prohibiting defense by reason For the past several weeks, French Prime Minister Edouard of insanity violates the constitutional rights to due process of the Balladur has been trying to reduce the minimum wage employers law and freedom from cruel and unusual punishment. To under- are required to pay young workers. High minimum wage laws stand what Boggs means is no easy matter. Holding people introduced by the previously empowered Socialist government responsible for their actions is hardly “cruel,” although one must discouraged employers from hiring the least qualified workers in admit that doing so has become rather unusual. And as long as the the market. Consequently, France currently struggles under the appropriate procedures are observed, no one can say a defendant’s yoke of an unemployment rate of twelve percent among the right to due process of law has been violated. general population, and 25% among youngsters. Mental illness is still acceptable in Montana for determining Seeking to combat the problem, the recently elected Conser- competency for trial and location of imprisonment. Insanity vative government proposed the aforementioned cuts in the cannot be used, however, in defense of the criminal actions minimum wage law. Many students greeted the idea of reform themselves. This rule is a refreshing change in an era in which with hostility. For days, students rioted in more than twelve cities Lorena Bobbit mutilated her husband at no price to herself, across France, including Paris, Lyon, Marseilles, and Toulouse. would-be assassin John Hinckley won acquittal in spiteof having Finally, the protests- shot a grew so violent and de- president, and a legion structive that Balladur of criminals are escap- found himself com- ing responsibility for pelled to revoke the pro- their crimes. posal. In response to Following Balladur’s retreat from Montana’s lead, Idaho the minimum wage re- and Utah have abol- ductions, the students ished the insanity de- staged victory marches fense. While these three throughout the country states are the only ones on April 1. In Paris, The to have done so, the Boston Globe reports, Supreme Court’s deci- “rioters stoned police, sion may encourage burned cars, beat jour- other states to follow nalists, and smashed their footsteps. In do- windows... fifteen cars ing so, these states were set on fire and more Rlotlng Cronoh Studonto would deter further than 200 were damaged transgressions of the while rioters shattered the windows of 60 shops and about a law by sending to potential criminals the message that they will dozen were pillaged,” and “up to 300 rioters went into a frenzy be held accountable for their actions. when the March reached its destination, beating photographers and smashing windows.” Jobs for Jobs In the City of Light, socialism has wrought a chimera. The artificial inflation of wages has created a situation in which any Vice President AI Gore and a host of Clinton administration attempt to restore the market encounters the most violent and cabinet secretaries gathered in Washington last week for a irrational hysteria. Unfortunately, this means that the French “community-development” conference. It is unlikely that this may continue to face severe unemployment for years to come. forum created any jobs, shrank the country’s ever-growing welfare roles. or increased American prosperity. It did, however, Maverick Montana prove that bureaucrats are more concerned with their own well- being than that of the country. On March 28, the United States Supreme Court upheld a According to The Boston Globe, attendees at the seminar Montana law barring defendants from pleading insanity to re- discussed how “their departments are working together to pro- ceive acquittal in criminal trials. Joe Junior Cowan had appealed vide jobs.” They failed, however, to recognize that for a govern- a decision proclaiming him guilty of the attempted homicide of ment bureaucracy to “provide” a job, it must eliminate several Maggie Doherty, a US Forest Service worker. The Court denied more from the private sector through taxation. Thus, if the the legitimacy of his appeal. conventioneers were sincere about “job creation,” they would

6 THEPRIMARY SOURCE, APRIL 6, 1994 reduce the size of their own bureaucracies and allow taxpayers to gone unheeded during the past several months, it appears un- spend their own money in the market. Goods and services likely that the North Koreans will treat the United Nations’ consumers could not purchase with high tax rates would become orders with any amount of seriousness. The Security Council affordable and new markets would provide increased opportu- sought to obtain the support of the Chinese, which many experts nity for employment. consider essential to the effective exertion of pressure on Kim I1 Traditionally, however, liberals care more about the health Sung. It succeeded in procuring this support only by diluting the of governments than their constituencies, and the delegates to resolution into rhetoric void of any concrete military threat. last week’s conference were no exception. Instead of exploring Only by standing behind its threats can the West win access meaningful methods to put money back in the economy, they to North Korean nuclear facilities. To date, President Clinton and considered new ways to remove it. For instance, the policy of the United Nations have adhered to foreign and international “enterprise zones,” the brainchild of Dan Quayle which offered visions built on wishful thinking and evasions of reality. The tax reductions to economically depressed areas, has been re- refusal to confront the truth will, should the worst of all possible placed by “empowerment zones.” This new plan empowers the worlds be realized, cost the South Koreans their culture, their state to seize and redistribute private property by adding several prosperity, and their freedom. hundred million dollars to government welfare bills. Gore and company proudly claimed that compared to past The Environmentalist Police State “anti-poverty” efforts, their “new” strategy is more “holistic.” They ought, however, to have said “horrific,” for there is no A recent study reveals that the Environmental Protection notion more terrifying than that prosperity can be attained by Agency has doubled its criminal investigations over the last three expanding government years and that the state and penalizing producers. now locks up its citizens for “environmental Empty Threats crimes.” The number of peoplesenttojail forthese President Clinton is crimes has increased dra- soft. Consequently, it is matically over the last not surprising that under several years. the guidance of his ad- People who inten- ministration, American tionally break environ- foreign policy is rapidly mental laws and harm becoming the veritable others have always been laughing stock of the punished in the United world. And just as the States. Yet the EPA’s re- President and Secretary cent actions reflect anew- of State Warren Christo- fangled and malicious pher issued a dozen desire to punish people empty ultimatums during and destroy corporations. the Bosnian crisis, today The agency has fought to they hurl a multitude of idle threats at North Korean Prime incarcerate people for incidental violations. For example, the Minister Kim I1 Sung. state of Arizona sent ametal plater to jail for storing cyanide and Information obtained through reconnaissance indicates that acid too close together. Similarly, Carl Trant of Brimfield, the North Koreans are in the process of constructing nuclear Massachusetts was recently sentenced for failure to clean up a weapons and may have already built one or two crude atom pile of tires. Attorney Kathleen Nooney has aptly described the bombs. Kim I1 Sung’s army- the world’s fourth largest- is current situation: “There are so many environmental traps dnd currently massed on the border of the demilitarized zone dividing potholes that the corporate environmental manager is often North Korea from South Korea. In recent days, the United States called the ‘designated jailee.”’ has deployed troops and Patriot missiles to help the South This new prevalence of environmental prisoners is leading Koreans defend themselves in the event of an attack from the corporations not to engage in all kinds of productive activity. communists to the north. Companies have to spend increasing amounts of money ensuring On April 3 1, the United Nations Security Council released that every nuance of every possible interpretation of every minor the latest in a series of edicts from the West. The Security environmental law is observed. It is likely that corporations will Council’s resolution commanded the North Koreans to allow compensate for these extra expenses by downsizing, reducing inspection of their nuclear facilities. Since similar demands have salaries of their employees, and raising the prices of the goods and services they provide. THEPRIMARY SOURCE, APRIL 6,1994 7 Fortnight Review Comedy is allied to Justice.in 6. TCU Senate budget auditors 5. Daily --Aristophanes copy editors 4. Associates, Last week, to celebrate April Fool’s Day, The Tufts Daily 3. Helping Professor Robert Cook watch pigeons watch TV printed accurate, unbiased, and intelligently-written articles. 2. Taste-testers for Maxwell House 1. Tufts Professors A Singapore judge recently sentenced an American teen attending high school in the Far East city to be beaten with a raten Readers: Be sure not to miss the TLGBC’s showing of the cane, spend four months in jail, and pay a $2,230 fine for spray- film “Urinal” on April 20th. Also, don’t miss the important, painting some cars. He would still be afree man today, had he not socially significant sequels, “Toilet” and “Excrement.” stolen that damn pencil. Speaking of excrement, the first family recently visited San [p When “Nightline” host Ted Koppel recently paid a visit to Diego. Their vacation began with a bang. An unidentified friend CNN’s “Larry King Live” he found as a host Kermit the Frog, of Chelsea’s, who also attends the Sidwell Friends School, hurt accompanied by Gonzo the Great. Foolishly, Koppel clung stead- her herself when she crashed into the open door of a parked car fastly to his inane and communist ideas, despite being over- while riding a bike with the first child. The girl, reportedly, is still whelmed by the vastly superior arguments of his eminently more much better looking than Chelsea. intelligent opponents. mMayDay is the greatest holiday in [p South Hadley, Massachusetts has the communist world. This year, it has tried to restore order to its public been canceled in Cuba due to insuffi- schools by barring students from wear- cient funds. ing “co-ed naked” t-shirts. Critics of the proposal suggest that its advocates When asked whether his client, are motivated by moralism and intol- figure skating tough- guy Tonya erance. We at THESOURCE believe a Harding, would be joining her fellow forum, addressing the question “Are Olympians at a meeting with President we a co-ed naked community?’ could Clinton, Attorney Robert Weaver re- resolve the whole dispute, especially sponded, “It sounds like fun, but she if the panelists and the moderator were loves Oregon.” Even if Tonya does go, nudists, liars, and posers. President Bill will probably not notice her, as hiseyes will be fixated on Nancy A recent cartoon published in The Kerrigan’s arse. Daily Princetonian was met with criti- cism from the university’s politically correct faculty. The cartoon [p On the subject of Harding, the blonde bully hosted a local depicted an Afro-American studies course taught by Professor radio show on April Fool’s Day. Over the course of her broadcast, Cornel West, in which the lecture was on rhythm. We at THE Harding called many celebrities, including Dan Rather, Andy SOURCEcan’t understand the protest. Quite frankly, the idea of Rooney, and David Letterman, and challenged them to wrestling meaningful learning in a multicultural course is refreshing. matches. Tonya won’t need any led pipes or fat goons to take care of these guys. Coming soon to a bookstore near you: Stanley Coren’s “The Intelligence of Dogs,” a report which indicates that Border threw out the first ball for the Chicago Cubs. Collies are the brightest of canines, while Afghan Hounds are Sorry, Mrs. Clinton, but that’s first pitch. among the most ‘‘intellectually challenged.” Tufts professors ranked just between poodles and dachshunds. No wonder the Cubs suck.

Top Ten new gigs for B&G at the end of its contract: [p Legislators in Albany have determined that has too many wild deer. Rather than relaxing state hunting regula- 10. Postal Service US tions, the pols have commissioned a $100,000 study to establish 9. Molasses Impersonators some sort of birth control for the furry menaces. So remember all 8. Human specimens for sleep experiments you does: no condom, no buck. 7. Clinton Cabinet members 8 THEPRIMARY SOURCE, APRIL 6,1994 Boston classic rock radio station WZLX recently held a were upset by this April Fool’s day prank. They smashed in both contest for fans to identify a Red Sox fight song for the new her kneecaps. season. We suggest “Bad.” mInJapan, two men armed with sword and pistol took over the Smile-- if you can. Only 1020 days left in the Clinton Asahi newspaper quarters, taking ten hostages on April Fool’s Presidency and 27 days left in the semester. day. The sword’s gotta go, guys.

The Holy Cross Crusader, the daily magazine of the Catholic A witness who recently appeared before a grand jury was institution, recently asked their readers “Do you think that women asked to name Michael Jackson’s gay friends. Those named were should be ordained in the Roman Catholic church?” Junior not immediately available for comment, however, as school was Allyson McDonald responded, “What does ordained mean?”And still in session. she wonders why she can’t be a priest. To protest the Florida Citrus Growers’ advertising on Rush Top Ten April Fool’s Headlines: Limbaugh’s radio program, liberal have staged a boycott against oranges. That’s odd, usually liberals are quite fond of fruits. 10. TCU Senate Accomplishes Something Meaningful 9. Daily Writer Wins Pulitzer Prize This semester’s women’s week lasts thirteen days. And they 8. Tufts Professor Votes Republican say that girls aren’t good at math ... 7. Hillary Clinton Admits She is not President 6. Cree Sell their Own Hydro-Quebec Bonds l[p “If had had a gun, he’d be alive today.” -- 5. Dean of Students Judges on Merit National Review 4. Reitman Becomes Spokesman for Rogaine 3. “Urinal” Wins Best Picture Last week Material Girl Madonna appeared on the David 2. Library Doubles Holdings, Buys New Book 1. Tufts Turns Fo- Letterman Show, and uttered the forbidden “F” word thirteen cus to Education times. That’s once for each In Congress’ IQ point. efforts to secure federal protection Tempera- for Indian lands mental Los An- and practices, a geles Dodger new wrench has outfielder been thrown in the Daryl Straw- works. The Con- berry recently gressmen seem to disappeared be unable to define for 24 hours, the term “Indian.” missing an ex- So much for our hibition game nation’s “elite.” against the California An- When it was gels. Said team w management, announced that “if we could President Clinton would beattending the Arkansas-ArizonaNCAA only get him to disappear for the next six months , we’d go to the final four game in Charlotte, the crowd booed loudly. See? Not World Series.’’ everyone who likes sports is dumb. From the “Conventional Wisdom” section of Newsweek WAradio station in St. Cloud, Minnesotaadvertised apersonal magazine, May 1, 1993: on Arnold Schwarzenegger’s me Last appearance by Nancy Kefliganasking fanstobring canned goods Action Hero;”Conan due for a flop, but not this time.” Must have for the homeless. Kemgan arrived, but it was another woman with been Elanor clift. the same name as the figure skater. The approximately 200 fans

THEPRIMARY SOURCE, APRIL 6, 1994 9 Throw Away the Key

States. The reason for this is that, . President Clinton has recently en- along with thegeneraldeclineinmoral dorsed a measure which has become standards, most violent crime is com- It seem that putting a known as the “three-strikes-and- mitted by people who have already between killers and Society is less Of you’re-out” bill. This is a first step. been arrested, convicted, or impris- a priority than the feelings of However, more needs to be done. It oned. is a sad state of affairs that the most Violent offendersserve, on aver- prisoners- drastic incarceration proposal intro- age, only 40 percent of their sen- duced so far allows a criminal to ,",-,< --*lm., . C S P E I A L S E C T I 0 N The Rose Law Firm Oficial Code of Ethics

I, of sound body and mind for money, hereby solemnly swear to uphold, or at least hold up, documents describing the highest standards of law in both principle and spirit, while abstaining from immoral and/or unlawhl actions as remains serviceable to the higher monetary well-being of the Firm. In addition, I faithfully dedicate myself to the following standards, as they benefit the Firm: 1. I will accept no bribe at any time for any reason for any amount under ten dollars. 2. I will uphold all legal standards including: a. complete disclosure of shredded evidence to opponents as the law orders b. respect attorney-client privilege and confidentiality unless asked c. use all my abilities, including sexual, to the benefit of the Firm. 3. I will never, under any circumstances, abuse or misuse my influence over political officials unless espoused to or contracted by them. 4. I will associate with only those who do not inhale. 5. I will change my haircuts every month with taxpayer money. 6. I will shred any sensitive or injurious documents on the real estate investments of valuable or bureaucratic cli-

7. I will not accept drug money unless properly laun- 8. I will not do business with my sister unless she's my

9. I will greet all investigators with a stone wall. Or flame-thrower. 10. I will ruthlessly overbill all clients. 11. I will accept all perks and payoffs quietly, and hide all kickbacks

12. I will never tamper with a jury. Only judges can be bought. 13. I will almost never sleep with clients. 14. I will almost never sleep with partners. 15. And finally, 1.will take my life in a Na

Vincent Foster, RIP THEPRIMARY Somce, APRIL6, 1994 11 S P E C I A L S E C T I 0 N - N 0 I .I, 3 a S 7 V I 3 3 d S keep his affairs hush-hush. Doesn’t work though. So I respond by sleep- ing with partners from my law firm. Trouble is, my last beau killed him- self after our first fling. Oh well. --HRC bankrupt and pregnant with twins. Dear Hillary: Sincerely, Knocked-up and screwed People may think you’re cool in Dear Hillary: America. But I know you took every Like you, I have grown weary of Dear Knocked: last one of your ideas from me. I also right-wing domination of the news me- Abort the damn kids. As for the ’re a capitalist at heart. So dia. I have tried to fight it with speech rest of your pblems, you may be out be throwing your haughty codes, loaded applications essays, of luck. Withregard to my friend Jim, aze my way. kicfcrng conservative students and pub- I resent your allegations. In Arkansas, Sincerely, Josef lications off campus, and telling out- right lies. Hell, Hillary, you name it and lem. I’ve been sleep- ’s checks. It’s no big I’ve tried it. What shall I do, omni- someone who knows st be angry because d to be such good friends. scient one? minal activity I’ve rade or no, I don’t like your Sincerely, Beardless in Bailou ecently, I have be- tone bf voice. I should have listened going to rat me out. to Leon years ago. But let’s face it, I’ve Dear Beardless: Dear Hillary: outdone you. The Rose Law Firm has Put the conservative publications Mr. Sincerely, Implicated You sure outdid me. Needless to more pull than your silly “intelligence through a shredder. It worked for me ... say, I admire you greatly. As you of all agency” ever did. Simple fact is, your --HRC Dear Mr. Implicated: people must certainly know, April 15th passion for human rights doomed your Put a bullet in his brain. Then stick is right around the comer. So I was just ability to govern effectively. Dear Auntie: him in a National Park and say some- wondering if you would send me your --True spokesperson for Some Republican kids at school thing bad about rich people the next phone number so you could give me a the People, HRC keeping calling me names and spitting day, so the press won’t give you a hard few pointers. on me and telling me the Democrats time. Love and kisses, Tricky Dick Dear Hillary: are dumb. If you don’t take me out of --HRC There are a few really cute girls this school soon, I’m gonna cry. Dear Tricky, in town that I’d love to get involved Sincerely, Chelsea Dear Hillary: I don’t like Dicks. I’m a busy with, The only problem is, I’m mar- I gave your good friend and busi- women, and have little time for your ried. How can I get it on with these Dear Chelsea: ness associate Mr. McDougal control stupid taxes; so just send us your babes, but still keep it a secret from Suck it up and take it like a man. over the accountingfor my business. I money. If you really are extremely con- the old ball and chain? Your father and I want you to be an recently discovered that he forged doz- cerned, though, at 555-5785 you can --DCBubba establishment hot shot like us some- ens of checks and gave all my money reach my friend Lorena who took care day. So remember that like we used to to Rose Law Firm. I was thinking that of a few other Dicks I knew. Dear Bubba, say at Rose, if you wanna make an om- since you used to be a partner, you --HRC My brother Bill has the same pmb- elette, you’ve gotta break some eggs. could help me out. Right now I am lem. He uses his security guards to Love ya like a sis, Mom Inbreeding in Arkansas Colin R.P. Delaney

Lberals have long derided many of the organs of the “oppressive ruling class.” “Corporate America” has been the target of much hatred because of its insider trading, mutual back scratching, and the perennial favorite: the Old Boy Network. But recent government Of the C1intons’ state chartered clearing house reports from sources as diverse as The Wall for loans of taxpayer dollars to Street Journal and The New Republic ex- Arkansas not only turned a blind companies unable to secure a pose Arkansas as the home of many of the eye to transgressions of the law, but loan in the marketplace. dirtiest deeds of the 1980’s. It is now clear Apparently each and ev- that the government of the Clintons’ Arkan- also aided and abetted the criminals. ery ADFA loan had to be per- I sonally approved by the Gover- sas not only turned a blind eye to transgres- I sions of the law, but also aided and abetted came knocking. But Worthen owners fronted -nor, a practice unique to Arkansas. In an- the criminals. The whole story centers on the company millions of dollars in secured other Little Rock-born anomaly, ADFA did the dealings of three powerful entities in loans. And who handled the negotiations not oversee those companies to which it had Little Rock: Stephens Inc., a powerful con- between the stockholders and Worthen? Joe loaned money in order to make sure that the glomerate owned by one of America’s Giroir and departed Associated Attorney money was being spent on job-creation. wealthiest families, theoffice of theGover- General . According to the records made available to nor, and Hillary Clinton’s Rose Law Firm. The fact that Rose represents clients on investigative reporter L.J. Davis with The both sides of dealings should come as no New Republic, ADFA made only twenty- The Triads surprise, because the firm was apparently six loans- mostly to religious groups. But In 1977 Stephens Inc. of Little Rock void of ethics. The firm’s list of companies an independent investigation conducted by decided to bail out a friend in financial that hold it on retainer range from Wal-Mart The Los Angeles Times reveals that ADFA trouble (and make a tidy profit for itself) by (whichStephenstookpublic withRosehelp) actually floated seventy bond offers, almost soliciting the infamous Bank of Credit and to , the chicken-plucking giant all of which do not appear on the roster of Commerce International (BCCI) to enter that employs a few Arkansans while pollut- good deeds it keeps in Little Rock. the American banking market by purchas- Larry Nichols, an Arkansas mediamav- ing a troubled Georgia bank. Stephenscon- erick, claims that Governor Clinton set up sulted a young attorney named Joseph ADFA to keep a political crony by the Giroir to help out with muddled securities name of Dan Lasater happy. Lasater, a laws. At the time, Giroir was a star attorney confessed cocaine dealer and large con- at the “respected” Rose Law Firm. Stephens tributor to many Clinton gubernatorial cam- soon got ambitious and decided to embark paigns, was named by Clinton to handle a on a few more questionable deals. $3.2 million bond sale. The Times reports Enter Bill and Hillary Clinton. With that he was paid a handsome $750,000 fee Bill as Governor and Hillary working un- by the state for his work on the project. SO der Giroir as the first and only female while the impoverished of Arkansas were partner at the firm thought to be The Firm being told by their governor that he was of John Grisham fame, Giroir lobbied to creating jobs, ADFA was in fact funneling have banking laws changed. Once Gover- money to the state’s wealthiest families, nor Bill had signed the banking reform act and Hillary Clinton’s Law Firm. into law, Giroir quickly sold four Arkansas Webster Hubbell, in his capacity at banks he owned to a new holding company Rose, served as a standing attorney for set up by Stephens Inc. The Worthen Bank- ing ground-water and receiving tax-breaks ADFA while acting as counsel to some of ing Corp. proceeded to pay Giroir hand- stemming from a deal with the Clinton Ad- the beneficiaries of the agency’s remark- somely for his work, and as a part of the ministration. able generosity. Meanwhile, Hubbell repre- Stephens empire, retained Rose to be its sented the Resolution Trust Corporation principal counsel. The conflicts of interest, Special Treatment while it was assuming the debts of Madison criminal in other states but run of the mill in During the 1992presidential campaign, Guaranty. Arkansas, are already mounting. candidate and Governor Clinton went to Worthen then proceeded to become a great lengths to itemize each and every job Continued on next page. primary depository for state tax dollars created in his state during his term. As apart THEPRIMARY SOURCE. APRIL 6, 1994 15 Continuedfrom previous page. had the power to enact legislation that So Madison gave its owner a fantastic deal seemed to help his state’s poor but was in to g,amble depositor money on the high-risk According to L.J. Davis, Stephens Inc. fact nothing more than a cluster of sweet- venture. And when Madison needed a law- was the underwriter to nearly 78% of heart deals for the rich that funneled money yer, to whom did they turn? The Rose Law ADFA’s loans, while the governor appointed into Rose. Simultaneously, Hillary became Firm, of course. McDougal himself admits two close friends of the Stephens family to a partner at the Rose Firm, and experienced that he retained Hillary Clinton’s firm after serve on the ADFA board. All the while, a meteoric rise to the top of the corporate the governor told him that the family was in Rose was doing most of ADFA’s legal- work. ladder. In a few short years, she would financial trouble. Davis also wrote become But it was not long before banking that on at least regulators caught on to some of Madison’s two occasions, mn Arkansas... everyone takes care questionable loans. Rose went to bat for the closerelativesof 1of everyone else and nobody needs to I Hubbell- S&L, and the governor leaned on one of his Rose partners know about it. NOWthe whole cmwd Foster appointees to give Madison a clean bill of were direct ben- Rose health. That appointee, Beverly Bassett,

eficiaries of is in Washington:- umvirate. agreed to an extremely unusual scheme of ADFA loans. I While Hillary’s to make a preferred stockoffering. (The New Repub- 1 a the emi- The offering was never made, but when lic, April 4, 1994) nent Tyson Foods was lobbying the early Little Rock judge David Hale was called on It would appear that the greatest benefi- Clinton Administration for tax breaks to to look into the case, he got an unusual (in ciary of ADFA’s liberal lending policies build a plant in Arkansas, Hillary had be- any state but Arkansas) telephone call from was Governor Clinton himself. Many firms friended a consultant for Tyson with access the governor. The National Review reports that ADFA lent money to were, in fact, quite to information concerning planned future that Hale was asked by Clinton to “...help financially healthy. Yet ADFA still found actions of that company. Seeing her chance me and Jim out.” And the old boys lived them worthy of loans at below-market rates. to make a killing in the dangerous but lucra- happily ever after. The Times reports that these healthy institu- tive commodities market, Hillary went out End of story. Almost. In 1989 the FDIC tions seemed to have other sources of in- in search of aline of credit, the first of which and RTC had to bail out Madison and pay come that enabled them to contribute more was given to her by the Ray E. Freidman Co. off its depositors when the thrift failed. All than $400,000 to Clinton’s campaigns. As She went on to make extremely speculative to the tune of $60 million. That’s when much as $400 million in ADFA loans was investments in a volatile market by buying Webster Hubbell so graciously offered his underwritten by the Wall Street investment on margin; that is, putting up a small amount services as outside counsel to the RTC. banking firm of Goldman Sachs. Richard of money in order to invest many times that Rubin, former co-chair of that company, figure in the market. All in the Family now serves on President Clinton’s Eco- And in her infinite wisdom, Clinton During their time in the governor’s nomic Security Council. managed to parlay that initial outlay into a mansion, the Clintons kept close company Davis also reports that two ADFA board net profit of more than $25,000 in just one with some shady characters ranging from members, collecting salaries from the state, year. That money was re-invested with back- those involved with BCCI to cocaine smug- spent much of their abundant free time cam- ing from none other than Stephens Inc. And glers. But it was never really a problem for paigning and raising money for the Clintons. by the time her husband left office in 1980, all involved because they were all scratch- In forty-nine states, this is a direct and Clinton had turned a net profit of nearly ingeachothers’ backs. StephensputClinton explicit violation of the Hatch Act, but in $100,000 in a market where as many as 70% in office; Clinton re-wrote laws for Stephens’ Arkansas, it seems that nobody pays atten- of all investors take a loss. While allega- benefit: they invested in companies that tion to such transgressions. And while tions that Mrs. Clinton used insider infor- bankrupted savings and loans, and every- Clinton’s 1992 campaign was coming apart mation to invest in the commodities mar- one had it all managed by the senior partners at the seams, it was none other than Worthen kets are questionable, it is undeniable that at Rose. It was just how business is done in Bank who offered the campaign a multi- her broker at Freidman has been disciplined Arkansas: everyone takes care of everyone million dollar line of credit. by the SEC for fudging the books to aid else and nobody needs to know about it. favored clients. Now the whole crowd is in Washington. More and More Friends of Bill And all the while, James and Susan At the very least, the Clintons are guilty Shortly after the Clintons became a McDougal, close personal friends of the of making major errors in judgment. At political force to be reckoned with in Arkan- Clintons, were launching the Whitewater worst (or best, depending on how one looks sas, friends of the family started showing up Development Corporation. Bill and Hillary at it) has committed impeach- in the most interesting of places. Bill was joined the McDougals as full partners in the able crimes. It will be up to Robert Fiske, being paid next to nothing as Attorney Gen- land speculation deal. And like so many Special Counsel appointed to investigate eral, and Hillary was getting less than other land deals of the seventies and eight- the affair, to dig up the truth from under the $20,000 a year as a low-level associate at ies, Whitewater owners turned to loose or ruins of a bankrupt Arkansas autocracy. theRoseFirm. But 1978 was agood year for friendly (or both) savings and loans to pro- Bill and Hillary. vide capital. The most obvious choice was Mr. Delaney is a freshman majoring in Bill was elected governor and suddenly James McDougal’s own . International Relations. 16 THEPRIMARY SOURCE, APRIL 6, 1994 What Health Care Crisis? Chris Zappala unbiased position and has the right to deter- of the U.S. But there is no mention of the There is no health care crisis in America. mine what amount of money is the correct treatment of patients by the doctors, some- ThroughoutthedebateofPresidentClinton’s amount to spend? Perhaps, the high cost of times referred to as “assembly-line” treat- plan to reform health care, facts and figures health care in the United States simply re- ment. For example, many doctors perform have been spewed forth by his adminis- gynecological examinations on scores tration and the news media. At some of women in a single room, as physi- point, though, the question of whether a cians manage to maintain income. In massive transformation of our health I society reflect a value: Damn the I this way, the Japanese keep costs care system is necessary disappeared Save lives, and use expensive low. Notice, however, that they do so amidst the data. only by enduring reductions in both The major factor contributing to technologies whenever necessary. the quality of care and the amount of the idea that a severe health care crisis I ~ I personal attention patients receive. exists is the high cost of health care in Because payment in Japan is based flects the desire of Americans to devote on the number of patient visits received, the the United States. This concern spells OP- portunity for the Democratic Party, which more income to top-quality health care, doctor keeps the average visit to five min- seeks to impose on the American taxpayer whereas most other countries hold costs utes, and the Japanese on average make 12 another ineradicable welfare state program down at the expense of quality. trips per year, three times that of Ameri- analogous to Social Security. However, the Consider the cost of living. Othercoun- cans, whose visit length is 15 to 20 minutes. basis on which the Preside’nt’s political strat- tries hardly have central air conditioning or Thesedecreases in convenience for patients, egists have built their case for reform is heating systems installed in their homes. along with increases in patient time and weak and artificial, for its fundamental as- However, in the United States over half of travel costs, “are excluded from the national sumptions remain unexamined and uncor- the people classified as “poor” have these health accounts and from public visibility,” roborated. luxuries installed in their homes. But we according to Patricia Danzon of the Wharton Claiming fourteen School. percent of our GNP- International a figure high by inter- comparisons also omit national standards- societal attitudes. The health carecosts areris- high expenditures in ing. Instead of consid- American society reflect ering thereasons health a value: damn the cost, care costs are high, the save lives, and use ex- President and his ad- pensive technologies ministration employ whenever necessary. scare tactics, arguing Blaming doctors for that these escalating costs is assailing a straw costs could lead to the man. Ezekial Emanuel impoverishment of of Harvard Medical America. Swallowing School notes that fewer this rhetoric, Ameri- than 1 of 10 doctors cans have begun to cave would put “Grandma” in to pressure exerted on arespirator if she had on them by those who a stroke, whereas 40% believe in national of family members health insurance. Since would. Responsibility, the administration says 37 million Ameri- wouldnot say thatthese figures show Ameri- then, rests not in the system but in consum- cans now have no coverage, many Ameri- cans spend too much money on housing and ers who choose to spend money in certain cans now see the system as a failure. comfort, or that other countries do not spend ways. The fourteen percent figure implies that enough. Butifnocrisisexistsinthecostscharged about $940 billion were spent on health care The Congressional Quarterly cites that by doctors and hospitals, does one then exist last year. Few people, however, have stopped “Japan’s government plays a much greater in insurance coverage? Clinton says 37 mil- to ask arelevant question: By what standard role in private health care delivery than does is that amount too much? Is there some the U.S. government” to explain how Japan Please see “Health, “page 22. central authority who stands in a neutral and keeps its costs considerably lower than those THEPRIMARY SOURCE,APRIL 6, 1994 17 Criminal Politics Edward Have11

ment pursues ineffective crime - penalty, however, faces strong political op- prevention policies. Legislative Current gun control in New York position. Many disagree with the idea of and executiveefforts are wasted giving the state the right to take a person’s on political tactics such as gun- city Only to disarm these law life, but the death penalty is a lesser of two control, largely ignoring the abiding citizens who wish to protect evils, with a larger and more positiveimpact practical crime prevention Of themselves. upon crime than gun control. Moreover, the tougher criminal law. The re- death penalty almost exclusively punishes Smoke and Mirrors David Mollow

President Clinton and his statist pals are currently at the forefront of a sweeping movement to extirpate cigarettes from the country. Bill, Hillary, Joycelyn, and all the usual gangsters intend to slap American - that second-hand smoke smokers and private property holders with a One of the lies told today is that second- violates the rights of non- host of new taxes and laws. More signifi- smoking customers and cantly, however, many non-smoking Ameri- hand smoke is carcinogenic. No employees. This cans have embraced the President’s cause scientific study has ever shown this to would be worthy of serious and have decided to tell owners of restau- be true. consideration if customers rants, taverns, hotels, and airplanes how and employees were held at they must run their businesses. gun point and then told that On March 27, the Clinton Administra- tion proposed new legislation to combat the “problem” of smoking. The legislation would impose without exception a ban on smoking in the workplace. If approved in its current form, the new federal law would require that owners of restaurants and bars abolish smoking sections. Even excellently ventilated smoking sections in restaurants, taverns, hotels, and the like would be criminalized, for the legislation would for- bid employers from sending employees into such areas. Clinton’s proposal thus represents a significant assault on the foundation of any free society- the right +” . - of workers to sell their labor on their own terms. r bedamned-they intend That America is no to do something about it. longer a free country is, The result is the of course, old news. Nev- emergence of a mythol- ertheless, examination of ogy concerning second- the many debates con- hand smoke and theciga- cerning smoking pro- rette industry. The pur- vides an illuminating pose of this mythology glimpse into the humor is to provide those who and the horror of social- advocate an expansion ism run amuck. of state power with a ra- tionalization for their agenda. Case in Point: Restau- rants One of the lies Governmental man- told today is that sec- dates that restaurants and other private busi- although not to competitor restaurants. Cus- ond-hand smoke is carcinogenic. No scien- nesses ban smoking on their premises have tomers who smoke will be more inclined to tific study has ever shown this to be true. In been introduced already on a local level in eat at home, where their habit is (at least for fact, the scientific consensus has for years numerous areas throughout the country. the time being) safe from the government’s contradicted this contention. When scien- Many restaurant owners find that some of intrusion. Forgotten in the agenda of today’s their customers respond to anti-smoking regulators is that the dining room at home is Continued on next page. laws by traveling to neighboring communi- a competitor with restaurants. Then again, THEPRIMARY SOURCE, APRIL 6,1994 19 point here is that even if it were demon- the natural level, then the FDA can regulate Continued from previous page. strated that heavy exposure to second-hand nicotine as a drug.) smoke caused cancer, the kind of categori- When pressed, however, Kessler ad- tists have compared first and second-hand cal bans being proposed would not be. a mitted the FDA could not substantiate its smoke, they have concluded that the amounts logical extension of the new discovery. claims: “Dr. Kessler said the agency did not of smoke inhaled are vastly different. Fur- A second lie that has been told recently ’yet’have enough evidence to assert regula- ther, the mouth and the nose have entirely is that cigarette companies “spike” tobacco, tion over cigarettes, but said the investiga- different filtering systems. In the scientific increasing the amount of nicotine in the tion is continuing,” according to Eben community, this idea was accepted- and processed leaves beyond that amount which Shapiro of The Wall Street Journal. One any other idea was thought- to be absurd- is in the plant naturally. Not one speck of wonders what kind of investigation could until increas- evidence possibly be occurring. A person need only ing_. pressure 1 supports compare the levels of nicotine in wild plants from non- 1 ABC released these “spiking” I this asser- of tobacco with those in the cigarettes in a smokers an- allegations initially, knowing the tion. The box of Marlboro Reds. noyed with myth of second-hand public would gobble up any- amount cigar ett e Tax the Rich... Feed the Poor smoke led to Iof nonsensical conspiracy theories....-1 companies Liberals, we are told, believe in taxing demands for “spiking” the rich to help the poor. Not when it comes new studies. vI I tobacco to cigarettes, though. The tax on cigarettes Recently, the EPA conducted a study helps continues to rise, and it is certain that people with the purpose of arriving at the conclu-- people to sugar coat in their own minds a of lower income are more likely to be smok- sion that second-hand smoke is carcino- regulatory agenda which, if exposed in the ers than are members of the population at genic. The scientists running the study flesh, would be viewed as most paternal and large. searched for evidence of a positive correla- unpleasant. Tax money drawn from the sale of tion between amount of exposure to second- ABC released these “spiking” allega- cigarettes is currently used to finance the hand smoke and likelihood of contracting tions hitially, knowing the public would production and dissemination of television lung cancer and other respiratory prob- advertisementswith paternal messages lems. The existence of a correlation, encouraging people to quit smoking. although not demonstrated, was by sev- The tax on cigarettes needs to be raised eral scientists declared likely on con- nearly adollar apack, it is said, in order clusion of the study. to pay for Bill and Hillary Clinton’s Even if a correlation’s existence plan to socialize medicine. For aperson had been affirmed categorically, that who smokes a pack a day, that’s $365 would not have proven that a causal extra in taxes per year- no small pota- relationship between second-hand toesfor lower income peopleon $15,000 smoke and respiratory problems existed. to $20,000 salaries (approximately a A positive correlation between any two three percent decrease in real earn- things means only that where one is ings). likely to be found, so is the other. Cor- All this taxation amounts to a relations say nothing about causality, gradual and defacto criminalization of for both the factors tested for could be cigarette smoking. For law abiding citi- caused by some third factor. zens, coercion through taxation is ulti- Tests on the influence of second- mately every bit as repressive as the hand smoke are bound to be inconclu- brute force of the police in totalitarian sive. It is nearly impossible to quantify the gobble up any amount of nonsensical con- states, for the result of both these kinds of amount of second-hand smoke people in- spiracy theories, especially if the alleged control is a society in which people no hale. For any given person, many factors culprits were cabals of corporate million- longer feel free. Indeed, the former kind of and variables would have to be examined: aires exploiting naive consumers. Wisely, control is in some ways more lethal than the frequency of exposure, the amount of smoke Phillip Morris and Co. is currently suing latter. Rule by the Gestapo or the KGB can present, the size of the room, etc. ABC for libel in a $10 billion lawsuit. hardly be seen as legitimate by the subjects Furthermore, smoke (first or second- Food and Drug Administration Com- of aregime; a democracy’s tyranny through hand) exhibits threshold phenomenon, missioner David Kessler has played an im- taxation, on the other hand, can like cancer which means that no simple relationship portant role in the perpetuation of the “spik- invade the body politic slowly, forever in- between the amount of smoke inhaled and ing” lie. Kessler hinted that the FDA had voking the will of the people as justification the negative effects experienced exists. That evidence suggesting that cigarette compa- for any manner and quantity of coercion, no is, a person must inhale a certain amount of nies were indeed involved in this practice. matter how wicked and intrusive. smoke (break a threshold) before any dam- (If cigarette companies are shown to be aging effects are experienced at all. The increasing the amount of nicotine beyond Mr. Mollow is a senior majoring in History 20 THEPRIMARY SOURCE, APRIL 6, 1994 State of the Art Technology Steve Seltzer was to provideusers with two keys. One key alternative methods of encryption. Further- TheClinton Administration’s latest at- could be publicly distributed, while theother more, the federal government can establish tempt to expand the role of government into one would be known to only the user. Only a monopoly easily, since its ability to under- private areas has reached the technological an individual’s private key could access a sell (its lack of a profit motive) renders it world. Along with the National Security immune to the competitive forces

Agency, the Central Intelligence Agency, r I of the market place. Thus, we and the Federal Bureau of Investigation, the see the first problem with the President and his cronies are currently mar- The Clipper Chip presents a fine Clipper Chip: The govern- keting a technology that will allow the gov- example of the inefficiency and ment is interfering in the mar- ernment access to the records of the private ket in order to create a mo- ineffectuality of government nopoly; in doing so, it dis- sector. The NSA’s creation of the Clipper Chip management of private enterprise. courages competition. Tech- has shaken up the field of cryptography, the 1 nological minds will be dis- science of making and breaking codes. The I Isuaded from producing bet- Clipper Chip is a microchip that the NSA message sent through someone’s public key. ter, more efficient pieces of software. wants inserted into all telephones, fax ma- This method can also be used to prevent The Clipper Chip presents a fine ex- chines, and computer modems. The chip fraud (for example, using a private pass- ample of the inefficiency and ineffectuality scrambles and unscrambles the signals sent word to verify phone orders). of government management of private en- out from the device in use. Only govern- Such a method of exchanging mes- terprise. The United States will lose foreign ment agencies, called escrow agencies, can sages without their being cracked has given markets in terms of selling its communica- decode the signals. Each agency holds one the NSA fits. The NSA claims that law tions equipment. Foreign purchasers will half of a “master key code” for each chip. enforcement agencies need the ability to not want products that the United States When a law enforcement official obtains a keep tabs on criminals, drug runners, spies, government can access; they can purchase warrant, the agencies release the codes, al- and terrorists. The creation of the Clipper encryption systems from other vendors. lowing the decoding of the Clearly, the fed- signals. Despite public dis- era1 government’s mar- approval and resistance from keting of the Clipper computer firms, the Clinton Chip makes little eco- Administration intends to nomic sense. However, implement this plan. Govern- the most disturbing ment agencies will use the consequence, and also Clipper Chip for some forms the most obvious, is the of communication. Currently, invasion of privacy that use of the chip by commer- the chip produces. The cial industries is still volun- federal government tary. and its law enforcement The NSA and the federal agencies would have government have developed access to the private and marketed the Clipper sector of the communi- Chip to combat a system that cations world. Citizens was meant to ensure privacy. would nothave privacy A major shortcoming with for their communica- all encryption (code) systems tions needs. Although is that they depend entirely the NSA claims that it upon a single password or needs such a microchip kev to unravel messages.- The to track criminals, any privacy of coded messages relies on keep- Chip was the agency’s answer to the prob- logical mind would have some degree of ing decoder keys secret. But when messages lem. The federal government has entered concern about giving law enforcement agen- are exchanged, the keys also must be ex- the market by using its purchasing power to cies such power. Far too much power is changed; an outside party could possibly lower the cost of the Clipper Chip. It also access the keys. That acentral directory lists places restrictions on overseas sales of com- Please see “Chip,” all of the passwords exacerbates the prob- peting encryption systems. In doing so, the continued on the nextpage. lem. A widely used solution to the problem government discourages the discovery of THEPRIMARY SOURCE, APRIL 6,1994 21 “Health,‘I continued from page 17. lion people do not have insurance. Note, however, that these citizens are not deniedhealth care. Nonprofit hospitals- 88% of those in the Un&d States- cannot legally turn away any patient needing basic medical care. If the 37 million figure did mean what people often taken to mean- At the - microchip that 15 percent of our population lives with moment, the In essence, the private citizen would that the unnerving and continual threat of being Clipper Chip provide gov- unable to pay for medical care- there would is only being have no protection from the watchful ernment en- be grounds for very serious concern. Fortu- marketed by eye Of government. forcement of- nately, closer examination reveals that there the federal ficials with is less of a problem here than meets the eye government. access to their initially. While state en- records and The overwhelming majority of the un- trance into the market is a problem that information. It is doubtful that a criminal insured are either people between jobs or cannot be overlooked, afar more worrisome would use phones or other communication young people entering the labor market. concern is that the government will not mechanisms that were equipped with the Katherine Swartz of the Harvard University merely compete in the market, but will also chip. In order to achieve its goal of crime School of Public Health notes that most are make mandatory the placement of the chip prevention, the government would have to unemployed for only a short time. The into private communicationssystems. Many mandate that all communications systems chronically uninsured group in our society people who respect privacy begrudgingly use the Clipper Chip. numbers closer to 5.5 million than 37 mil- allow the government to provide societal Since the New Deal, the federal gov- lion people. functions, as long as its actions are not ernment has intruded significantly upon the Other consideration suggest that even coercive. Coercive government actions are private sector. Government management of less than 5.5 million people are uninsured. defined as those measures which infringe enterprise is unequivocally less efficient Only one percent of those under 65 are on the natural rights and liberties of citizens. than private ownership and management. uninsurable, according to the Employee While some may acquiesce to such govern- However, the Clipper Chip controversy goes Benefit Research Institute. More than half ment functions as public education, it is beyond that. The chip, in and of itself, is an of the uninsured are in families headed by simply intolerable for the government to be invasion of privacy, for the government full time workers; 40% have incomes in introducing coercive measures. Yet, the could meet the goals for which it claims the excess of $20,000, and ten percent have government would be doing just that by chip is needed only by mandating that the incomes in excess of $50,000;only 29% are forcing private citizens and corporations to chip be used by citizens and corporations. below poverty level. And those with in- place a microchip in their communications comes below $20,000 spend several times equipment. Mr. Seltzer is a sophomore majoring in as much on alcohol, tobacco, and entertain- While the situation has not vet reached Political Science. ment than they do on health care. Further- more, 37% of the uninsured are under age tion between tough crime laws and lower 25, a time when buying insurance is often ”City, ‘I continued from page 18. crime rates has been ignored. not cost-effective. Putting all of this to- The best hope for solutions to the crime gether, a roughly figured three percent have :ians whose actual records do not indicate a problem lies in the hands of citizens who are no insurance. Should we, for the sake of this .ough anti-crime stance attempt to acquire increasingly disturbed by rising crime rates 3 percent, radically revamp the entire health -eputationsas strong crusaders against crimi- and will hopefully demand direct and prac- care system? la! activity. Unfortunately, the actions of tical action. Up to a point, politicking has There are moderate reforms that could :hese policy makers create an apparent anti- been put up with, but by electing Mayor and should be made within the context of :rime position while in reality do nothing to Rudi Giuliani on an anti-crime platform, our present system. In addition to subsidiz- ameliorate the situation. Fooling around New Yorkers have indicated that removing ing the involuntarily uninsured, coverage with gun-control merely misdirects atten- criminals from the streets has become a should be made relatively “portable,” so :ion from the criminal. The recent toying priority. Hopefully, a focus on justice and that the loss of a job does not immediately with gun control in New York has left crime not politics will extend to all areas of New deprive a worker of his insurance. But over- unaffected. Yet gun-control has gained York crime fighting, leading to a solid de- hauling the entire system is unnecessary, media attention and has served as a political crease in the crime rate. since no health care crisis exists. springboard. As a result, many policy mak- :rs ignore the empirical evidence and turn Mr. Have11 is a freshman majoring in International Relations. Mr. Zappala is a freshman majoring in their attention to ineffective political activi- Biochemistry. ties. In the meantime, the historical correla-

22 THEPRIMARY SOURCE, APRIL 6, 1994 BECAUSE WE ARE DISCRIMINATED AGAINSTIN PROFESSIONAL BASKET- BALL AND BECAUSE WE’RE NOT ALLOWED ON MOST RIDES AT THE AMUSEMENTPARKANDBECAUSEEVENWHENWE’READULTSWESTILL HAVE TO SHOP AT “GAP KIDS” AND BECAUSE LAUNDRY MACHINES ARE BUILTTOOHIGHSOTHATWECAN’TREACHALLOURCLOTHESWHENWE WANT TO TAKE THEM OUT AND BECAUSE PEOPLE CONTINUE TO USE OFFENSIVE HATEFUL AND HARMFUL TERMINOLOGY SUCH AS “SHRIMP” AND “SHORTCAKE” AND “SMALL FRY” AND BECAUSE WHEN WE SIT ON MOST “NORMAL”-SIZED TOILETS 0 UCH THE FLOOR AND BECAUSE DOORKNOBS ARE 0 UT OF OUR REACH AND BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH WE M TENTH OF THE POPULATION WE STILL DON’T ST HOUSE AND BECAUSE DUNKIN’ DONUTS STILL KEEPS INSENSITIVELY SELLING “MUNCHKINS” AND BECAUSE DANNY DEVITO HASN’T HAD A STARRING ROLE IN A MAJOR FILM OR TELEVISION SITCOM IN MANY YEARS AND BECAUSE EVEN ONCE WE’RE WELL INTO OUR THIRTIES WE STILL GET CARDED WHEN WE TRY TO BUY BEER AND BECAUSE EVEN WHEN WE I’HEN SHOW VALID I.D. THEY STILL WON’T SELL IT TO US AND BECAUSE EVEN IF WE CAN BUY IT WE GET DRUNK TOO FAST BECAUSE THE ALCOHOL CONTENT WAS DESIGNED FOR MUCH LARGER PEOPLE AND BECAUSE MICHAEL DUKAKIS LOST THE PRESIDENCY IN 1988 AND BE- CAUSE IF WE GET ANGRY WE’RE CALLED “FEISTY” OR WORSE YET “SHORT-TEMPERED”BUT IF WE STAY HAPPY WE’RE CALLED “CUTE” AND BECAUSE WHEN WE WANT TO SEE OVER THE DASHBOARD WE NEED TO SIT ON A PHONE BOOK AND BECAUSE WE’RE ALWAYS ACCUSED OF HAVING ANAPOLEONIC COMPLEX AND BECAUSE IN MANY BUILDINGS THE: STILL ONLY HAVE ONE DRINKING FOUNTAIN AND IT’S FOR BIG PEOPLE AND BECAUSE IN FOOTBALL AND BASEBALL THERE ARE THE NEW YORKAND SAN FRANCISCO GIANTS BUT THERE ARE NO NATIONAL SPORT FRANCHISES REPRESENTED BY VERTICALLY CHALLENGED MAS- COTS EXCEPTFORTHEBOSTONCELTICS WHOHAVEALEPRECHAUNBUT HE’S IRISH AND BECAUSE WHEN WE GO SWIMMING EVEN THE “SHAL- LOW’ END IS STILL TOO DEEP AND . . . FOR LOTS AND LOTS OF OTHER REASONS WE ARE VERY VERY ANGRY AND WILL NOT BE SILENCED.

Tufts Vertically Challenged and Friends of the Vertically Challenged Community

THEPRIMARY SOURCE, APRIL 6,1994 23 THEPRIMARY SOURCE NON-PROFIT ORG. Mayer Campus Center Tufts University Medford, MA 02155 PERMIT NO. 56885

NOTABLE AND QUOTABLE

Communismisnot love. Communismis a hammer I don’t deserve this award, but I have arthritis It’s no longer a question of staying healthy. It’s which we use to crush the enemy. and I don’t deserve that either. a question offinding a sickness you like. -Ma0 Tse-Tung -Jack Benny -Jackie Mason

Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis. If God had been a Liberal, there wouldn’t have To reduce stress, avoid excitement. Spend more -Ralph Waldo Emerson been Ten Commandments, there would have time with your spouse. been ten suggestions. -Robert Orben Liberal politicians confuse compassion with -Malcom Bradbury envy: to give away your own money is Cogito, ergo dim sum; I think, therefore these compassion, to give away other people’s money I stopped dropping acid for a while afrer my are pork buns. is envy. daughter was born. It’s hard to keep an eye on -Robert Byrne -William J. McCaffrey, Jr. the kid while you’re hallucinating. -Grace Slick, Jefferson Starship He who looketh upon a woman, looseth afender. I havefoundparadise on earth. It is California. -Sign in an auto-repair shop. -R. Emmet Murphy We do not want word to get out that we want to exterminate the Negro population. All newspaper editorial writers ever do is come Nothing is wrong with Southern California that -MargaretSanger, Founder, Planned down from the hills after the battle is over and a rise in the ocean level wouldn ‘t cure. Parenthood shoot the wounded. -Ross MacDonald -Anonymous I believe that Margaret Sanger would have been Competition is the wellspring of creativity. proud of us today ifshe had seen the directions The differencebetween literature andjournalism -Prof Andrew Morrison that we have most recently taken in this is thatjournalism is unreadable and literature is organization. not read. Some people stay longer in an hour than others -Fay Wattleton. Current President -Oscar Wilde do in a month. of Planned Parenthood -William Dean Howells Ihavealways wonderedat thisAmerican marvel, Never argue with people who buy ink by the the great energy of the human soul that drives Never get into fights with ugly people because gallon. people to better themselves and improve the they have nothing to lose. -Tommy Lasorda fortunes of their families and communities. -Unknown Indeed, I know of no greater force on earth. Diplomacy is one-third protocol, one-third -Ronald Reagan In the Soviet Union, things happened that simply alcohol, and one-third geritol. &&&happen. -Adlai Stevenson You’re ugly. Not only that, you need a root -Diplomatic Corps Proverb canal. Give me chastity and continency, but not yet. -James J. Garrett, D.D.S. Employees make the best dates. You don ’thave -Saint Augustine topickthem upand they ’realwaystaxdeductible. The town was so dull that when the tide went out -Andy Warhol Cauliflowerisnothing but cabbage witha college it refused to return. education. -Fred Allen -Samuel Clemens No race can prosper till it learns that there is as much dignity in tilling a field as in writing a I’m not an ambulance chaser. I’m usually there poem. The best way to keep one’s word is not to give it. before the ambulance. -Booker T. Washington -Napoleon -Melvin Belli

Never tell people how to do things. Tell them Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all The revolutionary simpleton is everywhere. what to do and they will surprise you with their four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, -Percy Wyndham Lewis ingenuity. sugar, and fat. -George S. Patton -Alex Levine There are very few people who don’t become more interesting when they stop talking. Whenever a friend succeeds, a little something Start slow and taper off -Mary Lowry in me dies. -Walt Stack --Gore Vidal Fatigue makes women talk more and men less. -C.S. Lewis