THE COMMENTATOR Vol. XL, No. 7 The Student Newspaper of the New York University School of Law November 30, 2005 Students Honored by NGLTF for Scalia Protests

BY CHRIS MOON ’06 three third-year students with possible for the organizers to po- nority communities the message In the end, the debate over plaques honoring them for their lice every person in the protest. doesn’t resonate as well as it does Eric Berndt’s question and the sub- actions, especially in light of a con- When I indicated that Mr. Prindle in other communities. sequent protests may come down troversial apology by the law and Mr. Leatherman apparently Regarding Democratic to one’s opinion of the Supreme school administration. were among the protesters who candidates for president, Mr. Fore- Court justice. After Mr. Foreman’s com- were screaming profanity, Mr. Fore- man had criticism of John Kerry, Generally, those who admire ments, I had the opportunity to ask man felt that, even if this is the saying that he was “all over the Justice Antonin Scalia and those him some questions about the case, the law school is also guilty place” on the issue of gays. He who disagree with him but feel the awards ceremony. I first asked him for even inviting Justice Scalia to felt that gays and should office of Justice merits a certain whether he thought he might be the law school. Depending on show their displeasure with candi- respect view Berndt asking Scalia sending the wrong message by one’s perspective, this could be dates by refusing to back them fi- whether he sodomizes his wife as giving an award to Mr. Berndt for fighting fire with fire or a case of nancially, even if they would ap- rude and offensive and see the what is viewed by many as a rude the ends justifying the means. pear to be the lesser of two evils. protesters as out of line for a pro- and immature question. He com- Foreman began his remarks Finally, Mr. Foreman was skeptical fane demonstration. On the other mented that he felt that Eric’s ques- by noting that he came to visit the of Hillary Clinton, stating that she hand, those who feel that Scalia is tion was entirely appropriate, and law school to “honor people” for “is certainly not a liberal, certainly mongering hate and is not worthy that Mr. Berndt deserved to be what happened when Scalia came not a progressive.” of the respect the position may honored, especially after what he to the law school last year. He Asked to comment about normally engender view Berndt’s felt was the “chilling response” of stated that he was “stunned” that the awards ceremony, Vice-Dean Matt Foreman, ’82 of the NGLTF question as a courageous protest the administration. Justice Scalia was invited by the Clayton Gillette, who attended the against a hateful man. Moving on to the protests, law school to be given an award. opponents of the movement. ceremony, stated, “I was invited The latter perspective is that I asked him if he agreed with the Foreman used a small Thus, Mr. Foreman ar- to the event by students from of Matt Foreman (’82), executive protester’s methods, which in- amount of time to discuss the gued that, going forward, the OUTLaw. I was happy to accept, director of the National Gay and cluded liberal use of profanity on and movement, explaining movement should be organized as OUTLaw has been an outstand- Lesbian Task Force (“NGLTF”), as a public street corner and loudly that he wanted to look back at around a “framework of basic hu- ing organization and I greatly ap- he made clear during a visit to the disrupting the ceremony of the where the movement has been, manity.” He criticized right-wing preciate their cooperative and con- law school on Thursday, Novem- Annual Survey honoring Justice and where it needs to go to opponents of the movement, say- structive role in matters such as ber 17, 2005 in Golding West. Scalia. Mr. Foreman reiterated his achieve success. He explained that ing that moral arguments against planning events surrounding mili- Foreman came to honor, in belief that Justice Scalia is so of- he feels that the gay and lesbian treat homosexuals tary recruitment. That, of course, front of approximately 40 students, fensive that he must be protested movement has made a mistake over as “less than human.” does not mean that I agree with Eric Berndt (’06) and the two law at every possible opportunity and the years by framing its arguments After finishing his re- every member of the organization students who organized the pro- that the awards were given for or- solely as a matter of legal rights. marks and handing out awards to on every issue.” tests against Justice Scalia, Eric ganizing the protest. The problem with this argument, the honored students, Mr. Fore- Vice-Dean Gillette also Prindle (’06) and Bert Leatherman Commenting specifically on he indicated, is that it takes hu- man took the questions of stu- clarified that the Law School did (’06). At the end of some short the use of profanity, he stated that man emotion out of the equation, dents. First, a student asked what not originally invite Justice Scalia, remarks, and before taking ques- he disagreed with the use of pro- ignoring the moral and faith-based the most important fight for the “Mr. Foreman’s remarks refer to the tions, Mr. Foreman presented the fanity, but felt that it would be im- arguments that have been used by LGBT movement was. Mr. Fore- Law School’s invitation to Justice man, while refusing to name any Scalia. My recollection is that the one fight as predominant, indi- invitation was extended by a stu- cated that the movement is reach- dent group, the Annual Survey of ing a time of transition, where the American Law.” marriage fight is almost at an end. Foreman is a distinguished Another student asked alumnus of the law school, where what an effective strategy is to get he was President of the Student minorities back into the liberal coa- Bar Association. Prior to joining lition with the LGBT movement. He NGLTF he worked for other gay, frankly stated that a major prob- lesbian, bisexual and lem with the left is that everyone organizations, serving as execu- is balkanized around their own is- tive director of the Empire State sues. He did feel that currently Pride Agenda and as the executive the face of the gay and lesbian director of Gay and movement is white, so that in mi- Lesbian Anti-Violence Project. Eric Brendt, ’06, Eric Prindle ’06 and Bert Letherman ‘06 honored by NGLTF for Scalia Protests NYU Panel: Anti-terror Tactics “Doomed to Fail” Without Sharing

BY NICHOLAS KANT ’06 of Investigation; and Jonathan couldn’t hold a job. I was in pri- bureaucrat, in being a public ser- Issacharoff said. “The sense now In the wake of the events of Faull, director general of justice, vate practice, and to put it bluntly, vant.” is that American laws have September 11, 2001, anti-terrorism freedom and security for the Euro- I was bored. Robert Mueller [the Following that, Professor changed dramatically to address laws in America and Europe went pean Commission, an organization director of the FBI] called me and Issacharoff got into the meat of the threat of terrorism. The ques- through many changes. But there that makes proposals for European asked me to join the FBI.” the discussion by asking about tion is: how have the laws changed, are still changes that need to made, Union legislation. The panelists It was a new kind of job for counterterrorism. “There was a and if you had a wish list, what and concerns that need to be ad- spoke on anti-terrorism issues Caproni, but that didn’t stop her. perception that we did not have in would it look like?” dressed. from an American and European “Just because you haven’t done this country laws that were ad- That was the topic when the perspective, respectively. something before doesn’t mean equate for the threat of terrorism,” Continued on page 2 Hauser Global Law School at New Moderating the event were you can’t do it,” she said. Caproni York University School of Law Law School professors Samuel said to go ahead and try something hosted another discussion in the Issacharoff and Professor Martin new if you think it will be a good panel series “Europe and the Schain. fit for you and “the expertise will United States: A Transatlantic Dia- Professor Issacharoff began follow.” Infra logue.” the panel by asking Caproni how Then, Professor Schain The event happened she went from a federal clerkship asked Faull how his job had Wednesday, Nov. 23, in the Lester and being an assistant United changed in the last 25 years. “Un- Letters to the Editor p. 4 Pollack Colloquium Room on the States attorney to being general like Valerie, I have done a number ninth floor of Furman Hall. About counsel for the FBI. of different jobs, but always with Guide to the Village p. 7 30-40 students attended. “I wish I had a clear answer,” the same commission,” Faull said. The panelists invited to she said. “If someone looked at my “I have used my law training in SLAP Season Starts p. 8 speak were Valerie E. Caproni, gen- resume, they would think I various ways, but not in practic- eral counsel of the Federal Bureau ing law. I have used it in being a Page 2 The Commentator November 30, 2005

Anti-terror Tactics: “Doomed to Fail” Apartments Continued from page 1 cating that, “tapping the Internet We wish ev- Sublets & Caproni responded first. is a technical challenge,” as well Roommates “They have changed a lot,” she as lamenting that, “Many cellular said. “We take a much more pro- phones now have unlimited dial- eryone good active stance to try to disrupt ter- ing, not like when calling long dis- Find: rorist activities before they hap- tance was an additional charge. luck on finals Apartments pen.” However, Caproni ques- Therefore, the phone service pro- tioned the appropriate balance be- viders don’t keep track of many Sublets or tween security and civil liberties, calls as scrupulously as they used (grading and Roommates asking whether it would be worth to.” ALL MAJOR CITIES the loss of freedom to wiretap ev- “We need that data,” taking)! ery phone in the country. Caproni said. Nationwide Caproni also brought up an Unanswered calls are not issue for prosecutors. “Can you kept track of at all because they Post: deal with sensitive sources in a are not billed, Faull added. public trial without jeopardizing “The police tell us that un- Apartments & their confidentiality?” she asked. answered calls can be very useful Rooms Caproni’s wish list? She data,” he said. stated that above all she wants the Jonathan Faull, director general of As the panel neared the end, ☺ FREE! laws of the Patriot Act that are due justice, freedom and security for the Professor Schain asked the panel- to discontinue, or “sunset,” to European Commission ists about issues that arise when visit us at: continue. it comes to sharing information. Faull then spoke about Eu- issues of the different European Caproni emphasized the impor- ropean response to terrorist at- countries recognizing the laws of tance of sharing information: “The Sublet.com tacks. “There was been a lot of new the others. And he added that notion that the [FBI] took away Hopefully we’ll legislation at the national level faster extradition is an example of from 9/11, big time, is that you have or call: within the European Union,” he what is working. to share information,” and if infor- said. “We take the systems of our Next, Issacharoff asked mation isn’t shared, “we’re see you all next 1-877-FOR- member states more or less as they about monitoring communication. doomed to fail.” RENT are.” Caproni used the question to ad- semester! But Faull did say there were dress technological issues, indi- (1-877-367-7368)

THE COMMENTATOR General Counsel of Estee Lauder The Student Newspaper of New York University School of Law Details Corporate Ladder Climbing At

Editor In Chief Law & Business Luncheon Chris Moon BY NICHOLAS KANT ’06 didn’t want to stay in New Haven. great job I’ve done.” At that point, If you want to try to have it So Moss and her husband decided Moss and the crowd laughed. Managing Editors all, you will never get any sleep. to move to New York. She was ac- Moss told her audience that Julia Fuma That was the message from Sara cepted into Columbia Law School, she wanted to focus her talk on Ben Kleinman E. Moss, alumnus of the Law and also NYU Law School. how to “follow your passions, fol- School and general counsel for The “Everyone told me, ‘go to low your heart, and take risks.” Estee Lauder Companies, Inc., Columbia,’ because in those days, For example, Moss was Arts Editor when she spoke Thursday, Nov. 1971, Columbia was dramatically working at the law firm of Davis Polk & Wardwell. But she really Brigham Barnes 17 as part of the Student Luncheon better regarded than NYU,” Moss Lecture Series sponsored by the said. “But at the time, NYU had wanted to try cases, and she had NYU Center for Law and Business. more women than any other law the opportunity to work at the U.S. school in the country. My class Attorney’s Office, she said. Moss Photography Editor While a crowd of about 30- 40 law and business students fin- told the crowd that the firm told Gillian Burgess ished eating and drinking from the her not to go, to stay at the firm, buffet, Moss spoke about women and that if she did go, she would practicing law, her career and go- not be able to come back. Even Staff Editors ing to NYU Law School. though life was good at the firm, Jackson Eaton Luke Tullberg When she went to high she was determined to take the Kevin Lees J. Wilson school in the mid-1950s, going to risk. Mary Santanello Craig Winters law school never occurred to The story has a happy end- Nicholas Kant Moss because where she grew up, ing however, as after spending women/girls were either nurses or some time as an Assistant United Editors Emeritus teachers, she said. And in fact, she States Attorney Moss had learned Emily Bushnell was a teacher in New Haven, Con- to litigate cases, and Davis Polk Dave Chubak necticut, she said. ended up wanting her to come “This was the late 60s, early back, she said. 70s, I was married to someone who Eventually, Moss became The Commentator serves as a forum for news, opinions and ideas of mem- General Counsel at Pitney Bowes bers of the Law School community. Only editorials and policies developed was at Yale Law School, and that Sara E. Moss, General Counsel for Inc., a large mailing and document by the Editorial Board reflect the opinion of the Editorial Board. All other was it,” Moss said. “I was a cheer- Estee Lauder opinions expressed are those of the author and not necessarily those of The leader in high school, now a and technologies company. Even- Commentator. The Commentator is issued on alternate Wednesdays during teacher, married to a guy who was tually she moved to her current, the academic year except during vacations and examination periods. Adver- in law school, and it was, perfect, was twenty-five percent women. I more glamorous job, as General tising rates are available on request. Subscriptions are also available at a rate right?” know that sounds small now, but Counsel for the cosmetics com- of $15 per year. Letters to the Editor should be sent to the following that was huge.” pany Estee Lauder. address, either on paper or via e-mail. But then Moss discovered that there were women in her And there were other differ- Even though Moss’ story husband’s class. ences, also. reads like the shining American THE COMMENTATOR “I have to tell you, it was just “There was this excitement success story, she did say that 135 MacDougal Street #4G a real revelation for me,” she said. here that just wasn’t present at between raising children and con- New York, NY 10012 “It was a really exciting time. My Columbia,” Moss said. “Columbia tinually climbing up the proverbial 212.998.6518 (phone) 212.995.4032 (fax) vision of my life and my future re- had an escalator, and it was just ladder, she hasn’t gotten much e-mail: [email protected] ally changed dramatically, and I very business oriented, and I did sleep. decided to go to law school.” not want to go there. I wanted to Copyright 2005 New York University Moss was accepted into Yale go to law school to change the Law School, but her husband world. And you can see what a Commentator Opinions December 7, 2005 Page 3 Round One in the Offshoring Debate is Just Getting Started BY CRAIG WINTERS, ‘07 Businesspeople went ety. He said that the relentless During Strine’s talk, the bers of the middle class don’t feel The stupendous growth of through this tedious process be- offshoring of U.S. jobs was a be- crowd of law professors fell eerily good about the economy if they China’s manufacturing sector was cause a corporate charter offered trayal of the implicit pact made silent. I’m no expert, but I suspect fear they could be pink-slipped any the furthest thing from my mind limited liability; that is, individual between advocates of the general it was because the logical conclu- day. And globalization and when I attended a symposium on investors (for the most part) corporate law and late 19th century sion of Strine’s observations was offshoring is culprit number one in securities law last week at Colum- couldn’t be sued personally for state legislatures. His point was that the grant of limited liability feeding economic insecurity. bia Law School. The symposium the acts of the corporation. In this that if someone had told those 19th could be used as a weapon by By many accounts, the com- billed itself as a forum to debate respect, limited liability corpora- century legislatures that corpora- legislatures against corporations ing explosion of offshoring activ- “shareholder rights,” and I ex- tions offered a huge legal advan- tions would use the general cor- in the brewing offshoring debate. ity over the next ten years will dwarf pected to hear hedge-fund and tage over partnerships, which of- porate law to send every job pos- Merely speaking this idea the offshoring of the past ten. For other shareholder advocates de- fered no such protection. So to the sible to China and India, and that out loud seems nearly fantastical. instance, Delphi Corp., the largest bate Marty Lipton on the finer legislature savvy businesspeople corporations in the future would It’s almost unfathomable to imag- American auto parts supplier, re- points of anti-takeover defenses, went. exist solely to maximize the short- ine a state legislature (most likely cently filed for bankruptcy. Delphi’s like the poison pill (which Lipton In the late 19th century, cor- term buck over the long-term de- Delaware) stripping a corporation executives (who are under investi- invented). porate advocates enticed legisla- struction of U.S. earning power, no of its charter because it decided gation by the SEC for accounting One of the symposium’s first tures to end their monopoly on legislature in the country would to shut down a U.S. manufactur- fraud) asked the bankruptcy court panelists, however, jolted the corporate charters by establishing have passed the general corporate ing plant or invest in a venture in judge to cut the wages for Delphi’s crowd of a hundred or so law pro- the general corporate law, which law. China. In fact, this is exactly what unionized workers from $35 an hour fessors with a pseudo-populist, allowed corporate-status seeking Strine is obviously right Wall Street rewards companies in cash and up to $30 an hour in jingoistic diatribe on – you businesspeople a routinized pro- about the willingness of elected for doing. Numerous studies have health care and benefits costs to guessed it – China. It was all the cess to create a limited liability legislatures to voluntarily cut the shown that corporate decisions $9 an hour in total. That’s $65 an more surprising because the cri- corporation. No longer would the economic throats of its constitu- to offshore jobs or fight employee hour down to $9 an hour. This is tique was launched by Judge Leo legislature approve every indi- ents. For the hundred years be- unions increase a corporation’s the Mother of All Pay Cuts. Strine of the Delaware Chancellery vidual corporate charter. Now, all tween the 1880s and the 1980s, stock price. IBM and GE, to name Meanwhile, Delphi’s China Court. Judge Strine is perhaps the that corporations had to do was however, this point was largely two of the largest U.S. corpora- operations, which weren’t included nation’s most famous (active) cor- follow a set of rules, pay a filing moot. America was the industrial tions, have both bet their future in the bankruptcy filing, is project- porate law adjudicator, and the fee, and presto, limited liability workshop of the world, China and earnings growth on India, China ing astronomical growth, and may sheer volume of his 100+ page long corporation established. The India were economically stunted, and the developing world. Strip eclipse U.S. operations in the near decisions cover nearly every mi- candle manufacturer could now, if and offshore tax and regulatory IBM of its charter? Come on. future. nutiae of corporate law jurispru- it had self-constructed the proper havens like Bermuda – where even Yet Strine may be on to Welcome to the Future, dence. language in its boilerplate charter, Eliot Spitzer can’t go after corpo- something. Wages among the America. Strine’s point combined the get into insurance, dog food sales, rate boogeymen – had yet to come American middle class over the It’s still hard to imagine a leg- historical and the present. Way vacation home rentals or whatever. into their prime. past ten years have been flat, while islature smacking around IBM, GE back in the 19th century, state leg- I’d wager that every corpo- Today, all of that has obvi- wealthy investors have doubled, or Microsoft and threatening to islatures chartered each corpora- rate law professor at NYU Law ously changed. But changed how? and even tripled their income. wipe them out if they offshore jobs. tion, and those corporations thus would say that this development Strine’s analysis was that the re- Three million manufacturing jobs But if enough corporations go chartered had a limited ability to was an unambiguous good thing. lentless pursuit of offshoring to have been lost in recent years, and Delphi, bankrupting workers and pursue profit-making enterprises. Corporations could now be formed increase corporate profitability at while most have been replaced by pension funds along the way, and A candle-wick manufacturer, for for less money and would be more the expense of all other consider- positions in the service sector, huge chunks of America spend their instance, couldn’t begin selling flexible in response to new profit- ations (like wages, jobs, manufac- those jobs pay less, have fewer entire adult life in fear of job cuts insurance products – they had to making ideas. That’s what I was turing skill, and consumer buying benefits, and offer almost no job and lost benefits, some folks just stick to candles. If the candle manu- taught in my corporations law power) is permanently damaging security. may start running for office with facturer wanted to get into insur- class, and I really hadn’t given it a America’s long-term economic And “job security” is a funny ideas about corporations, ance, it would have to go back to second thought. Until last week. health. And America enabled this funny thing. Workers who make and jobs. the legislature and ask for permis- Strine said that corporations by granting corporations limited decent money and by all other Old ideas. 19th century ideas, sion to amend its charter. were failing in their duty to soci- liability in the first place. measures are prosperous mem- to be exact. Conservatism 101: A Quick Introduction to a Conservative Ideology

BY JOSH PARKER ’06 For those unacquainted The conservative view of inclinations of people in general. tant), we oppose abortion for the PRES., NYU LAW REPUBLICANS with conservative ideals, I hope autonomy influences views on Whenever possible, the govern- unrelated fact that it involves kill- Eds. Note: This article is an in- this article will help dispel some topics such as affirmative action ment should permit its citizens to ing a baby. If men got pregnant, troduction to the “right” [or “con”] misconceptions. I am serenely and criminal punishment. arrange their lives according to those that oppose abortion side of a series of debates that will take confident that conservatism, their preferences — not only be- wouldn’t want their babies de- place next semester between NYU Law when viewed objectively on its Accountability cause people are happier when stroyed, either. Republicans and the Commentator’s merits, will continue to withstand If people truly are agents, they are free, but because they Other acceptable limita- resident left-wing journalist, Craig Win- scrutiny. they can and should be account- can achieve their goals better tions on private action include pro- ters. Expect debates next semester on Autonomy able for their actions. Conserva- when unhindered by paternalis- hibitions on prostitution, obscen- topics such as taxes, welfare reform, Many conservative poli- tives do not hate the poor, nor do tic planners. ity, and private drug use. Some and social issues. cies, both fiscal and social, spring we hate criminals. Trust me: I This principle suggests activities with no apparent direct I’ll let the cat out of the bag: from dedication to (and belief in) would like nothing better than to the conservative stance on pri- impact on others, such as private political conservatives are gener- personal autonomy. Some of us see criminals abandon their crimes vate school vouchers, respect for drug use, should be restricted due ally misunderstood at NYU. While are influenced by religious faith, and be welcomed back to society, business organizations, taxes, to their indirect effects on morality there are more of us here than one some by empirical evidence, some or to see every person well fed, and limited government interven- and society. Closely related to this would guess, many are unwilling by nothing more metaphysical well cared for (medically and so- tion in general. is the belief that morality is often to identify themselves as such. It than the natural feeling that noth- cially), and in a decent home. tied to religion, and that neither is intimidating to take a public ing compels our decisions — our A system of criminal and Morality and Religion should be surgically extracted from stance that is vehemently opposed choice of Fruit Loops over Cap- economic accountability, however, A conservative’s devotion the public sphere. by the vast majority of your class- tain Crunch this morning was not is the only practicable option in to individual freedom is not ab- Views on morality and re- mates and professors, especially predetermined by our relationship the long-run. If people are autono- solute. Besides the necessary ligion underlie conservative poli- when that stance could easily earn with an overbearing mother mous, any amelioration of the con- government interventions which cies, other than those already dis- you any number of frightening la- twenty-some odd years ago. sequences of their actions should prevent anarchy, social conser- cussed, such as public prayer, the bels: racist, corporate sell-out, A belief in an affect their future behavior. Like vatives tolerate other limitations scope of criminal law, and the con- chauvinist, religious fanatic, individual’s capacity to make his the notorious farm subsidies, poli- on personal liberty when it is in troversy surrounding the Pledge of homophobe, war monger, etc. or her own choices is ultimately a cies which insulate people from the the best interest of society. Many Allegiance. Believe it or not, these epi- belief in the power of the human harmful effects of poor decisions conservatives believe that moral- thets are wholly undeserved. The spirit. Nobody was raised in a create market distortions in the so- ity cannot be divorced from pub- Conclusion tenets underlying conservative perfect home or a perfect world, cial sphere and eventually aggra- lic policy, and that public policy Reasonable people disagree policies rest on solid philosophi- but conservatives are persuaded vate the malady intended to be al- must reinforce the general moral- about these principles, and that’s cal and moral grounds, although that people can (and often do) rise leviated. ity. fine. But opposing affirmative ac- some creeps of all sorts identify above unfortunate circumstances. Welfare, social security, and Moral concerns influ- tion does not make somebody a themselves with us (as some do The trick is to create a world which criminal policies are affected by our ence the choice of many conser- racist. Or make someone who op- with liberals). It is all too easy to encourages people to use that view of accountability. vatives to oppose abortions. poses abortion a chauvinist. Or a isolate a policy, presume an ille- agency wisely (similar to the way While pro-abortion activists have poor-hater because of opposition gitimate motive, and slander the Madison envisioned a govern- Freedom been able to frame this issue in to the welfare state. Hopefully, the person who proposed it based on ment in which the structure itself Devotion to freedom is fur- terms of respect for au- majority of liberals can continue to your own presumption. Law stu- encouraged the good behavior of ther evidence of conservatives’ tonomy (which conservatives reasonably debate the issues, with dents should know better. its leaders). high opinion of the capacities and also view as extraordinarily impor- conservatives reciprocating in kind. Commentator Opinions & Arts Page 4 November 30, 2005 Taking a Risk v. Playing it Safe BY NICHOLAS KANT ’06 worse off if I just maintain the sta- no one could possibly make the hang out with me. gettin’ out of bed today.” And I’m Generally, most people want tus quo, and refuse to take risks right decision every time. The key Or the closing argument – sure we’ve all felt like that once or to do the best they can in each in- and move forward. to being our best, and doing our maybe I shouldn’t even be mak- twice. dividual task. Let’s look at another ex- best in life, is to make the right judg- ing the argument at all. Maybe I So all we can do is our best. And the better a person ample. Let’s say I like a girl. I ask ment as often as possible. Each shouldn’t be in law school in New But that means taking the day fares when it comes to each indi- her out, she says, “Yes, let’s meet individual decision adds up, and York at all. Maybe I should be a when life has us beat down, want- vidual task, the better that person tomorrow at eight.” What do I say it adds up to life. bartender in L.A. ing to play it safe at home, in bed, does when it comes to life in gen- in response? I could say, “Excel- But also, each task can be Or the girl. Maybe I should and coming back the next day eral. lent, lets meet in the courtyard.” broken into the tiniest of deci- be going out every night and meet- swinging, wanting the risks. Be- And what causes a person That’s kind of a risk, it might make sions. For example, I discussed my ing other girls. Or maybe I should ing unafraid of the risks. to excel in each individual task? me look overeager. I could also closing argument as a whole. It be staying home studying. Or But we also need to be smart My argument is that it comes down maybe the perfect girl for me is and know when only a fool would to weighing each and every risk playing it safe and staying home take a certain risk, like taking his and deciding correctly when to It comes down to not being satisfied and I’ll never meet her. shoe off and banging it on the take a risk and when to play it safe. So life, at its most base level, podium. Or quoting Bob Marley First, we have to start with until the hour before death. really comes down to decisions. love songs to a girl he barely the proposition that to excel in Playing it safe all the time is to live knows. anything, a person needs to take a bland life, growing old watching But as I said above, and we risks. A person who takes no risks say, “Sounds good, let’s meet in could actually be broken down into TV and then dying at home alone all know, I can’t predict the future. gets nowhere. Doing the same old the courtyard.” That’s more of a tiny segments. Like should I say and no one finds out until months No one can. So even though I thing throughout every task, ev- middle ground, I don’t seem as this risky sentence or a different, later (which I believe actually hap- might look like a fool because of ery time, means a person doesn’t eager (or desperate). Or, maybe the safer one? Or should I take my shoe move forward. Without risk, at best, safest route, is just to say, “Let’s off and bang it on the podium, or the person stays at the same level meet in the courtyard.” And if she just my hand, or not do it at all? of achievement. But easily, the per- wants to meet at eight, maybe I Eventually, you add up Only a fool would quote Bob Marley son can end up moving backward should quote the Bob Marley line, all the decisions, and you have a when others take risks and move “I’ll meet you at your house at a full day. Add more decisions, you love songs to a girl he barely knows. forward. quarter to eight. Baby, baby, just have a month, then a year, then a Let’s look at an example. you have some faith. I promise you decade, and eventually you are an Let’s say I’m doing a closing argu- we’re gonna rock it baby, rock it old man or woman looking back pened recently in New Jersey). Or, some risk I took, that is usually my ment for a case in court. Last time I baby, all night.” That might just on life. Looking back on a life of take all the risks, burn out too preference. My urge is to take risks did what you might call a standard make me look weird. But again, I decisions. A life of taking risks at quickly, and die young (or some- because that’s when I reach un- closing, just speaking, reasoning might be worse off if I just main- times, and playing it safe at other thing like that). charted territory, experience new with the jurors in somewhat of a tain the status quo and don’t put times. So it really comes down to things, and find out the most monotone. This time I’ve got an a little flair and/or personality into And that begs the question, finding the balance. Finding the about myself and others. However, idea. My idea is to get all into it it. how should life be lived in the first right balance. I sometimes force myself to tem- and speak loudly and bang my So I’ve got the closing ar- place? And not being satisfied un- per that urge because I sometimes hand on the table and get all crazy. gument, and I’ve got the girl. I can Take me for example. A lot of til the hour before death. feel beat down, I sometimes annoy/ That’s obviously a risk. Before I take a risk with either, both, or none. people might say, “You can’t live “There is no hope for the frighten others, and I do some- do it, it’s hard to say if really doing I face decisions like these all the life in the slow lane. You shouldn’t satisfied man,” said Frederick G. times “play the fool.” All the while, it will be good or make me look like time, and so does everyone else in play life safe.” But then maybe I Bonfils, 1861-1933, founder of The keeping in mind that, “There is no a fool. I can’t predict the future, so the world. The perfect person decide to act all crazy and say Denver Post. They quote him in hope for the satisfied man” (or I need to decide beforehand based would make the right decision ev- crazy stuff, and my friends think every edition at the top of the opin- woman). on my own thoughts and maybe ery time about when to take the I’m funny and cool. Or maybe they ion page. the advice of others. But as I sug- risk and when to play it safe. decide I’m annoying and obnox- But Bradley Nowell, of the gested above, I might be even But just as no one is perfect, ious, and then they don’t want to band Sublime, once sang, “I ain’t Commentator Crossword

52. Stretch, like your back 53. Fisherman’s necessity 54. Poetic tribute 55. Liver secretion Add your name to the 56. Regrets 57. Write 58. Bowie’s wife masthead. Down 1. Totals 2. Oil org. 3. Great Salt Lake state 4. Homemade gun type 5. Do nothing 6. Bancroft or Frank 7. Sporting facial hair 8. Boredom 9. “I’d Do Anything for Love” The Commentator is still singer looking for news, arts, 10. Wall climber sports, and opinions 11. Thing, legally 19. PILC location writers, as well as a 23. Kansas City baseball team comic artist or crossword 24. Humdinger designer (computer Across 29. Lion sign 25. Window threshold program available to 1. Chowder 30. Yes, in Nice 26. One who mimics 5. AKC fav. 31. Hawaiian staple 27. Went by horse assist). 8. Muslim prince 32. Emotionally unstable 28. Luke, Peter or John 12. Ready for a challenge, with “it 34. The whole amount 29. Type of cabin 13. Fast Formula? 35. McMahon and Sullivan 33. Rock projection Contact 14. ___ Campbell 36. Summer mo. 38. Sushi accompaniment 15. Vegetarian no-no 37. Terrible 40. South American mountains [email protected]. 16. Santa ___ 39. Take back 44. Cyclone or Zipper Do it before the next 17. Votes against 41. City of Angels 45. Sign of the future issue. 18. NYU Crim. Pro. Prof. 42. Trendy 46. 1L req. 20. Austin Univ. 43. Saw type 47. Home of the Bruins 21. You, in Oaxaca 49. Full-time employer of 18 48. Alternative to now 22. Dentists’ tools Across 49. Radio news provider 26. Zeal 51. Edge 50. Who Uncle Sam wants November 30, 2005 Page 5 Commentator Arts Page 6 November 30, 2005

Artic Monkeys: Set for World Domination

the Arctic Monkeys haven’t even BY BRIGHAM BARNES ’06 recorded an album yet. In short, it is ridiculous the attention and talk First of all, “The Arctic Mon- that the Arctic Monkeys get, so I keys” is a horrible name for a band. had no choice but to get a ticket to Moving on then… their show at the ridiculously inti- I have spent too much mate Mercury Lounge to see what money and too much time in catch- they were about. ing alleged next-big-things from And here’s my quick, England making their first US ap- upfront verdict on this band: It is pearances while living here in New quite possible that the British York—Dizzee Rascal, M.I.A., the press hasn’t exaggerated one bit Rakes, Test-Icicles, Lady Sover- about their talent and potential. eign, Art Brut, etc. etc.—it was While their stage show is quite getting exhausting, so I promised subdued (they don’t move around myself that the Arctic Monkey’s much, but they do play their in- “First Ever US Appearance!” at the struments very, very fast) they are Mercury Lounge back on Tuesday such, such a good band. They’re November 15th would be my last just 4 kids, none of whom look like such “next big thing” show for a they could be older than 19, but good long while. the music they play is so, so tight My fellow students, I don’t and Turner (my research has been want to brag, but I saved the best shallow, I don’t know his last for the last and picked the perfect name) has a perfect rock voice. show to end my obsessive trend- In an age where bands like tracking with. the Test-Icicles try to out-Vicious There is hype and then there Sid Vicious with sloppy, collaps- is HYPE and the British press and ing, bound to self-destruct shows, cooler-than-you US bloggers have it was so refreshing to catch a lavished the Arctic Monkeys with band that could actually play their the hype of the latter variety. Brit- instruments and play them quite ish rock critics have praised this well. Simply put, I could not have Epic in the US). ing the whole set, the band threw Sheffield four-piece as “the next maybe it’s just easy to want to be- been more impressed, hype could Seconds into the first song down their guitars at the end of Oasis” and called their singer, Alex lieve that you’ve gotten in on the not have been more justified. I, and most of the audience, had their last song (the absolutely Turner, “the finest lyricist since ground floor of fandom with a band Instead of me just gushing, been completely won over. The magnificent “Certain Romance”) Morrissey.” that’s got a serious career ahead of let me tell you a bit about the show. band wasn’t stingy with the awe- and the drummer kicked over his Without even having yet itself, but there’s certainly some- The band took to the stage to the some, they played their “big hit” kit. That’s always a good sign that released an album, the band has thing about the Arctic Monkeys strains of “Tha Next Episode” by “I Bet You Look Good on the there won’t be an encore. already had numerous number one that suggests they could go very, Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg. Why? Dance Floor” almost right away . . Watching the Arctic Mon- singles in Great Britain and their very far. Because they’re a bunch of kids. . it was a trick to keep the crowd keys, it was easy for a long-time first London concert instantly sold Now if they could just do The club was packed with record really worked up, as most of us Britpop fan like myself to think ri- out two smaller venues before in- something about that name. label types and photographers hadn’t heard most of their songs diculous things, things like “I stantly selling out the city’s larg- from major music magazines, all before. The band kept the set tight wonder if this is what Blur was est rock club. Again, we’re talking sorts of hungry old men with plans and strong through twelve songs like when they were starting out” about their first concert here. And for making loads of money off this and, despite having almost not or “I wonder how soon they’ll be we’re talking about the strength band (they’ve already signed with moved around the stage at all dur- selling out Wembley Arena.” And of a few singles, because, again, Commentator Arts November 30, 2005 Page 7 Fantasy Football Roundup: A Look Back & Forward As the Playoffs Begin

BY CHRIS MOON ’06 has been a fine backup. Sometimes it’s nice to enjoy the dumb moves At the beginning of this se- of other teams. mester I gave a rundown of my Grade: A. You can’t ask for fantasy football draft, promising much more than Carson Palmer at to let loyal readers of the Commen- quarterback. tator know if my team was winless Running Backs: Corey as the fantasy season wound Dillon, Julius Jones, Mike Ander- down. Well, luckily my team isn’t son, Larry Johnson, and Ronnie winless. Sadly, it isn’t undefeated Brown. either. We drafted Dillon and Jones As a quick review, my league with our first two picks (9 and 12 this year consisted of 10 teams, overall). Both have been huge dis- with 6 teams making the playoffs. appointments, but most of that has Division winners get a bye in the been because of injury. I’m still first round of the playoffs. Our confident in both players when playoffs begin next week, where healthy, but their struggles has the four “wild card” teams face off hurt our team. Mike Anderson has against each other. Scoring is close been a good #2 running back most to most other scoring systems, 1 of the season, but because of the point for every 10 yards rushing running back by committee in Den- and receiving, 1 point for every 25 ver he has been up and down yards passing, and 6 points for (three touchdowns two weeks ago, every touchdown. We use a QB, 2 1 fantasy point this past week). RB, 2 WR, 1 TE, 1 K, 1 Defense, Larry Johnson has turned and 1 Flex (RB or WR). into one of the top 5 players in fan- 12 weeks into the season my tasy football after Priest Holmes fantasy football team has a record was lost for the year with a con- of 7-5, which has us in a tie for 3rd cussion. We drafted Johnson place in the league. We’ve pretty late in the draft thinking that clinched a spot in the playoffs. We Priest was injury-prone. Even be- have an almost certain victory this fore Holmes got hurt, Johnson was week, as the team we are playing a good flex option most weeks. against is the weakest in our Ronnie Brown has also been a league, so at worst we’ll end up in good flex option, although the re- a tie for 3rd. This puts us in a good turn of Ricky Williams has hurt his position for our fantasy league production. playoffs, which begin next week. Grade: B+. Larry Johnson is With a record of 7-5, it’s clear right up there with Shaun that the season has been up and Alexander and LaDainian down, so I’ll give you a rundown Tomlinson when not splitting car- of the players at each position on ries with Priest. Sure, our top two my team, with an analysis of my picks haven’t panned out, but we drafting: are in great position for the play- Quarterbacks: Carson offs if Dillon is healthy. He is clearly Palmer and Jake Plummer. the lead running back in New En- After the first week of the gland. season, when Drew Bledsoe threw I drop this grade down to a for 400 yards, the person with B+ because I feel slightly bad when Daunte Culpepper as his starter I think about the number of times I dropped Carson Palmer for Drew jokingly wished that Priest Holmes Bledsoe. Bledsoe has been okay, would just break an ankle. I’m not but Carson Palmer has been the sure if wishing for leg injuries top quarterback in fantasy football makes me a bad person, but such Larry Johnson has been one of the top running backs since Priest Holmes got injured this year. As soon as we saw he is the nature of fantasy football had been dropped, we added him when you draft a talented backup. to our team. Eventually, we Those who have DeShaun Foster Walker (gone), Andre Johnson like Mike Anderson for Joe Horn, (gone), Anquan Boldin, Jimmy killed us all year. dropped Drew Brees, as he had the and Michael Pittman know the feel- that might have helped both teams Kickers: Jason Elam and same bye week as Palmer. Plummer ing. Smith, Reggie Brown, Antonio out. There aren’t a lot of receivers Chatman, and Chris Henry. Lawrence Tynes. Wide Receivers: Javon out there either, so we’re stuck Grade: A-. Both kickers have Well, Walker was a great with Boldin and Smith. pick until he blew his knee out in been great options most weeks. I Tight Ends: Antonio Gates drop us down to an A- because the first game of the season. I prob- and Chris Cooley ably was cosmically punished by Elam missed a field goal in the clos- Gates is the best tight end ing minutes of a Monday Night the football gods for wishing in the NFL. Cooley has been an Priest Holmes would get hurt. Football game with his team ahead okay backup. Having Gates has by 20 points. Unfortunately for me, Johnson was a bad pick until he somewhat softened the sting of was hurt for half the season. I think my fantasy team was losing by 1 having Jimmy Smith as a #2 re- point and the kick would have he produced better stats on the ceiver, as I just convince myself sidelines than in the games. He’s given us the victory. A devastat- that Smith is actually our tight end, ing moment in an otherwise mean- starting to produce the last couple where his stats would be okay. weeks, but I dropped him five ingless game. Grade: Easy A. Playoff Tidbits: Congratula- weeks ago. Boldin would have Defense: Seahawks and been an incredible flex receiver if tions to those of you who have a Broncos. Start of the year: Charg- spot in your fantasy playoffs. Try the first two had produced as ex- ers and Jets. pected, but a bit of a stretch as a not to spend too much time scour- The Jets defense was awful ing the waiver wire when you #1 receiver. Jimmy Smith has been all year. The Chargers defense was okay, but nothing to write home should be outlining Civil Proce- actually a bit worse than them most dure or Evidence. Now is the time about. The other receivers were all of the year. Defenses don’t win picked up for situational starts to count on your fantasy stalwarts, fantasy championships, so we’ve like Tomlinson, Alexander, and during bye weeks. None of them gone to playing the match-ups are worth owning in most leagues, Palmer. That’s the easy part. The from week to week. Look for the difficult part that requires a little although Brown was a good pick- defenses playing bad offenses up until McNabb got hurt. research is when deciding who to and go from there. go with at your other spots. So Grade: C-. Our receivers have Grade: C. This is actually a killed us all year long. Our leagues examine the match-ups, and try not bit harsh, considering we waited to play someone at a flex position trading deadline is so early that we so long in our draft to take a de- weren’t ever able to make a move, who is facing the Bears defense. fense, but really, our defenses have Good luck! Commentator Sports Page 8 November 30, 2005 SLAP Champions Crowned: Malicious Prostitution & Little Lebowski’s Urban Achievers Reign Supreme BY CONOR FRENCH ’06 the game, Maligold credited his ferocious play to “hating kids who Hands tingled and faces played club tennis and all that sh- grinned all around Mercer Pub last t.” Friday as flag football players from Against Gans & Co. (no around the law school came in from girls), People’s Army posted a the autumn cold to celebrate the shutout to reach the final. Often conclusion of another lively sea- blocked by three players, Chock son. Two newly anointed champi- still proved by far the most dis- onship squads, Malicious Prosti- ruptive force in the game. In the tution and Little Lebowski’s Urban final, People’s Army held the game Achievers, indulged in their spoils, at 0-0 through the first half before hoisting the silver two-and-one- succumbing to Malicious half-cup-holding victor’s trophy Prostitution’s aerial assault in the and gulping delicious beer from it. second frame. Even Brandon Chock (’06), freshly The unraveling of the released from a physician’s care Less Contact League’s season re- after nearly fracturing his shin, mains largely a mystery. With so managed to hobble in on his brand- many teams and divisions, no one new crutches and join the revelry. really knew what to expect come In the Full Contact playoff time. Certainly no one League, Malicious Prostitution could have foreseen, however, that waltzed through the final stages both two-time defending cham- of their storybook undefeated sea- pion Jang and second-seeded Title son. Riding a stingy defense that IX would forfeit without even play- gave up only 22 points all year and ing a game. With top-seeded Gans dismantled the Auditors 21-0 and and a third person was really too an electric feeling that the pastime an opportunistic offense, Mali- and Co. (some girls) already elimi- then sailed through the final (I ac- tired and drunk to say anything. everyone was gathered to cel- cious Prostitution dispatched of nated earlier in the week, the cham- tually have no idea who they In one corner of the room, third- ebrate surely is among the law upstart Tim Meyer’s Team in the pionship was officially up for played, but I imagine they played year students congregated with school’s finest. What else in law semifinal before destroying the grabs. very well). Having heard that their their teams realizing that their ca- school besides frolicking and People’s Army 29-0 in the final. Into that void stepped 2L semifinal opponents, the Auditors, reers were over (except for Dakota crashing into people in the park all Each of the playoff games dynamo Little Lebowski’s Urban were all L.L.M. students, Steve Loomis whose career shall con- Friday afternoon really reminds us did, however, offer some drama. Achievers who, throughout the Cephas (’07) shouted, “those tax tinue). In the other corner, first-year that we have not yet joined the Malicious Prostitution had to rely season, managed to mask their kids belong in a classroom.” Lawyering groups realized that ranks of the overworked legal pro- on interceptions from Playoff superior talent with a knack for Back inside Mercer Pub, this might be the closest they all fession? Remember these Fridays MVP, Scott Maligold (’06), and a making every game seem close. someone yelled “goddamn right would ever get to being real friends fondly. And good luck on exams. safety from Evan Cohen (’07) to Pulling it together for playoffs, it’s a beautiful day” and someone with one another. They are only as hard as the nerd put Tim Meyer’s Team away. After Little Lebowski’s Urban Achiever else said “ya’ll suckas got served” Across the entire room was next to you makes them.

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