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Home , Jeremy Collier, Love in a Wood, Nell Gwyn, The Country Wife, The Provoked Wife, The Recruiting Officer

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General Editors: William C. Carroll, Boston University Brian Gibbons, University of Münster Tiffany Stern, University of

The interior of a Restoration theatre drawn by C. Walter Hodges new mermaids new mermaids

The Alchemist The Old Wife’s Tale All for Love The Playboy of the Western World Arden of Faversham Arms and the Man Pygmalion Bartholmew Fair The Recruiting Officer The Beaux’ Stratagem The Beggar’s Opera The Revenger’s Tragedy The Changeling The Rivals A Chaste Maid in Cheapside The Roaring Girl The Critic Saint Joan The country Doctor Faustus The School for Scandal The Duchess of Malfi She Stoops to Conquer The Dutch Courtesan The Shoemaker’s Holiday wife Eastward Ho! The Spanish Tragedy Edward the Second Tamburlaine Elizabethan and Jacobean Tragedies The Tamer Tamed Epicoene or The Silent Woman Three Late Medieval Morality Plays Every Man In His Humour Mankind Gammer Gurton’s Needle Everyman An Ideal Husband Mundus et Infans The Importance of Being Earnest ’Tis Pity She’s a Whore The Jew of Malta The Tragedy of Mariam The Knight of the Burning Pestle Lady Windermere’s Fan Assurance The Witch Major Barbara The Witch of Edmonton The Malcontent A Woman Killed with Kindness A Woman of No Importance Edited by James Ogden Marriage A-La-Mode Women Beware Women A New Way to Pay Old Debts Formerly University College Wales, Aberystwyth With a new introduction by Tiffany Stern University College, University of Oxford

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50 Bedford50 Square Bedford Square 13851385 Broadway Broadway acknowledgements ...... vi LondonLondon New New York York WC1B 3DPWC1B 3DP NY NY 10018 10018 introduction ...... vii UKUK USAUSA About the ...... vii Plot ...... vii www.bloomsbury.com Genre ...... viii Bloomsbury is a registered trade mark of Bloomsbury Publishing Plc Structure ...... ix Characters ...... x Copyright © 2014 Bloomsbury Publishing PLC Men ...... x Women ...... xiv First New Mermaid edition 1973 Themes ...... xvi Copyright © 1973 Ernest Benn Limited Original Staging ...... xxi Recent Performances ...... xxiii All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced A Note on the Text ...... xxv or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or any information storage or retrieval Date and Sources ...... xxv system, without prior permission in writing from the publishers. The Author ...... xxvi

abbreviations ...... No responsibility for loss caused to any individual or organization xxviii acting on or refraining from action as a result of the material further reading ...... xxix in this publication can be accepted by Bloomsbury or the author. the country wife ...... 1

British Library Cataloguing-in-Publication Data Persons ...... 3 A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library. Prologue ...... 5 The Text ...... 7 ISBN: PB: 978-1-4081-7989-5 ePDF: 978-1-4081-7990-1 Epilogue ...... 151 ePub: 978-1-4081-7991-8 Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data A catalog record for this book is available from the Library of Congress.

Typeset by Country Setting, Kingsdown, Kent ct14 8es Printed and bound in India acknowledgements introduction

Copy to come? About the Play The Country Wife is a hilariously bawdy and subversive drama that pokes fun at the jealous and humourless. Condemning hypocrisy, praising dissolution, and elevating innuendo into an art form, the play is titillating, disquieting and witty; it has provoked powerfully mixed reactions over the years. The seventeenth century king Charles II loved it enough to see it three times, and is said to have joined the ‘dance of cuckolds’ at the end of one performance; the eighteenth-century actor-playwright dubbed it ‘the most licentious play in the English language’; the Victorian critic Thomas Babington Macaulay compared it to a skunk, because it was ‘too filthy to handle and too noisome even to approach’.1 These days it is heralded as a Restoration masterpiece. Sexually frank, this play tells a number of vigorous lust stories and perhaps a love story too. Its virtuosity, linguistic energy, brilliant and naughtiness make it a staple of the contemporary stage.

Plot A ‘Machiavel in love’, no one is hornier than Horner (4.3.69). As his name indicates, he is highly sexed, and highly skilled at cuckolding (putting horns on the head of) husbands. His latest scheme is to bribe a quack doctor to spread the rumour that he is impotent. This gives him access to ladies keen on ‘the sport’ (1.1.141–2), whose husbands will think he is not a threat. Invited by Sir Jaspar Fidget to ‘play at cards with my wife after dinner’ (1.1.106–7), Horner embarks on sexual relationships with the entire Fidget clan: Lady Fidget, her sister-in-law Mrs Dainty Fidget, and their friend Mrs Squeamish – a set of hypocritical women who call themselves the ‘virtuous gang’ (5.2.96). The virtuous gang prove to be as voracious for sex as they are to keep their reputations as ‘honourable’ women. In a parallel plot, Pinchwife has married a country girl, Margery, in the belief that she is too naive to be unfaithful to him. He continually worries about being cuckolded, however, and seeks ever more complicated ways to hide Margery from his friends, locking her up and, when he takes her out, dressing her as a boy. Horner, who regards Pinchwife’s desire not to be

1 Laura J. Rosenthal, ‘All Injury’s Forgot: Restoration and National Amnesia’, Comparative Drama, 42 (2008), 7–28 (25); Thomas Davies, Memoirs of the Life of David Garrick, Esq (1780), 120.

vii the country wife introduction cuckolded as a challenge, immediately decides to sleep with Margery. be Virtues Bane, / In pointed Satyr, Wycherley shall Reign’. 2 Yet satires As Margery is ignorant rather than innocent, she willingly accepts Horner’s usually have moral aims, while The Country Wife teaches, if anything, attentions. cheating, lying, hypocrisy and the art of cuckolding husbands and getting A third plot follows Pinchwife’s virtuous sister, Alithea, who is engaged away with it. As, moreover, it is difficult to say where the play’s ridicule to dull-but-affected Sparkish. Alithea wrongly believes Sparkish’s lack of starts and stops, it is not even obvious what – or who – its satirical focus jealousy illustrates his love for her; actually Sparkish views Alithea as a might be. Horner, the man who exposes corruption in others, and might conquest to show off. Continually thrusting Alithea into the company of therefore be said to have the voice of satire, is himself highly corrupt, and the admiring Harcourt, Sparkish virtually ensures that the two will fall often exhibits the very qualities he criticises. He taunts Pinchwife for in love. As Alithea is too decent to be unfaithful to Sparkish, however, picking a ‘silly’ wife when ‘methinks wit is more necessary than beauty’ Harcourt has to adopt extravagant methods to win her hand. (1.1.371), but then seduces her himself, for instance. So some have thought The three plot strands come together when Pinchwife delivers ‘Alithea’ the play is a satire about Horner, or at least that he is a ‘parasite-satirist’ (actually Margery, disguised as Alithea) to Horner’s apartment, believing who exposes and feeds off society’s vices.3 These conflicted critical the two have an assignation. There, the other characters converge. Sparkish, approaches, however, merely mirror the ambiguity of the play itself. In a assuming Alithea has been unfaithful to him, reveals that he was only ever plot where, as Hume points out, Sir Jaspar Fidget, the virtuous gang, interested in her dowry. As a result of his public defamation, the genuine Pinchwife, Sparkish and Horner are all ridiculed, ‘questions of motive and Alithea is able to accept Harcourt. Margery remains naive enough to moral value’ – and hence questions of satire – ‘disappear’.4 imagine she too can marry the man she loves, Horner; her enraged hus - As the intentions of The Country Wife are hard to gauge, it has at band Pinchwife offers to draw his sword on her. Lucy the maid saves the various points been called romantic and unromantic; feminist and anti- day when she comes up with a plausible explanation for Margery’s protes- feminist; a confirmation of Hobbes’ feeling that civilized society is tations and her presence in disguise in Horner’s house. The virtuous gang, revert ing to a state of nature, and an attack on Hobbes’ belief that ‘the best and eventually Margery, assure the assembled men that they are innocent society is the one founded upon enlightened self-interest’.5 friends of Horner’s; in fact, they have all had sexual encounters with him. Given that The Country Wife simultaneously criticizes society and Pinchwife, half-aware that Margery has duped him, resolves to take her criticizes the act of criticism, the play is perhaps best defined as an exercise back to the country for good. Horner’s secret remains safe, and a cuckold’s in irony. Irony, moreover, both shapes the plot and is a linguistic device dance concludes the comedy. throughout. Alternatively, as most characters are, from name onwards, comic stereotypes – the hypocrite, the cuckold, the libertine – the play, Genre which is improbable, exaggerated and funny, may be better defined as a ‘Most men’, announces Harcourt, ‘are the contraries to that they would farce – unless the very question of genre is too conventional for a play of seem’ (1.1.237). The Country Wife, which compares seeming frigid this transgressive nature. and being sexually voracious, seeming virtuous and being unethical, seeming faithful and being adulterous, focuses on opposites. Horner’s Structure pretended impotence, for instance, is designed to get him the reverse: The Country Wife is structured around threes. For a start it has three plots, more sex. The virtuous gang’s hypocritical claims to be virtuous and each of which features a male . Horner is a libertine devoted to honourable belie their actual desires: to commit adultery. Hardly surpris - inventing ingenious ways to find married women to sleep with; Pinchwife ingly, the play’s writing style revolves around opposites and comparisons too. The play opens on a similitude, and there are a further twenty-two 2 William Wycherley, The Works, ed. John Evelyn (1713), title page. more in the first act alone. As a result, the play may mean the reverse of 3 This argument is put forward in Rose A. Zimbardo, Wycherley’s Drama: a Link in the what it says. Ambiguous in tone – and hence moral purpose – it is hard to Development of English Satire (1965). define its genre. 4Robert D. Hume, The Development of in the Late Seventeenth Century (1976), 97. Sometimes The Country Wife is said to be a satire: ‘As long as men are 5 Michael Austin, Useful Fictions: Evolution, Anxiety, and the Origins of Literature (2011), false and women vain’, wrote John Evelyn in 1713, ‘While Gold continues to 115; Charles A. Hallett, ‘The Hobbesian Substructure of The Country Wife’, Papers on Language and Literature, 9 (1973), 380–95.

viii ix the country wife introduction is a retired rake devoted to stopping his wife from cuckolding him; and horner Harcourt starts off a rake but opts for marriage when he falls in love during Horner is a prototypical rake from name onwards. The most obvious the play. Each of the three plots also features a woman who changes the meaning of ‘Horner’ is ‘a maker of cuckolds’ (the traditional sign of the object of her affection: Margery, married to Pinchwife, falls for Horner; cuckold being ‘horns’). Large-horned creatures are, for obvious reasons, Lady Fidget, married to Sir Jaspar Fidget, falls for (or, at least, sleeps with) famous for their sexuality: ‘does [Horner] not give you the rank Horner; and Alithea, contracted to Sparkish, falls for Harcourt. Each plot conception, or image of a Goat, a Town-bull, or a Satyr?’ asks the prudish strand, then, asks questions about sex, love and marriage. Indeed, in each Olivia in Wycherley’s .7 Yet, as mothers scare their children plot a similar event takes place: a foolish man unwittingly hands ‘his’ by threatening that ‘Horner’s coming to carry you away!’ (1.1.21), the name woman to a witty man, as though it is wit rather than marriage that is – also has demonic/sexual associations too; indeed whenever Pinchwife and should be – the deciding factor. Thus Pinchwife delivers Margery to thinks of Horner he invokes ‘The devil!’ (3.2.431). ‘Horner’, then, has an Horner; Sir Jaspar Fidget practically forces Lady Fidget on Horner; and aggressively sexual meaning as well as sonically recalling ‘honour’, the Sparkish yields Alithea to Harcourt. quality that he continually debases. In the past, critics who hoped to read a moral into the play suggested Yet it is Horner’s decision to pretend to be unsexual – impotent – that the drama offers two bad, loveless models for marriage – Pinchwife around which the play revolves. He maintains that the status of ‘eunuch’ and Margery, Sir Jaspar Fidget and Lady Fidget – and a sensible middle will get him free access to men’s houses, and reveal to him which women option: a happy, loving marriage between two people of equal intellect, most want sex. An explanation is never offered, though, for his adoption Harcourt and Alithea.6 If that is the play’s intention, however, it is only half of the impotence ruse itself, when he has clearly never had a problem successful; all the energy of the story is on the lecherous and unfaithful acquiring bedmates and opportunity in the past. His eunuch status may, matches. of course, simply serve the purpose of drawing attention to his sexual Another of the play’s structural oddities is that Horner seems to be the organ – but perhaps it also hints that, though not sterile literally, Horner main focus of the drama, though the title declares the play to be about the is sterile in terms of emotion.8 country wife, Margery Pinchwife. The result, however, is that we compare In this play of opposites Horner’s libertinism isn’t really directed the two throughout. Horner is witty and knowing; Margery is foolish and towards the sexual act. Indeed, as Horner sleeps with whichever woman ignorant. Yet both are attractive, sexual, feisty and powerfully drawn to one reveals herself to be available, he is a libertine with only the most mechan - another. Horner, being a libertine who ignores society’s laws concerning ical interest in sexual gratification or the nature of his partner. He describes marriage, believes he should have sex with Margery; Margery, a would-be his past mistresses as ‘old debts’ who are ‘paid . . . unwillingly’ (1.1.131–2), libertine who is too naive to realise society has laws, believes she should and assumes sex is a punishment for the receiver – he declares that he will have sex with Horner. Their liaison focuses, but does not resolve, the topics ‘converse’ with women (‘converse’ meaning both ‘talk’ and ‘have sex with’) of sexual freedom and marital oppression around which the play revolves. because he hates them and wishes ‘to laugh at ’em and use ’em ill’ (3.2.21). He also repeatedly makes clear his dislike even of female companionship – Characters ‘Women serve but to keep a man from better company’ (1.1.179–80) – and seems to view women as animalistic and without true feelings (thus Men mirroring the qualities he also displays, of course). As will be explored quack later, his libertinism seems focused on outwitting husbands rather than ‘Quack’ is a term for medical imposters (as opposed to proper doctors). possessing their wives. Quack’s very name, then, introduces the play’s theme of pretence and It is ironic that Horner’s actions in the play leave him in league with hypocrisy. As this quack spreads rumours about a pretend disease – rather the women he dislikes. He has had to reveal to the virtuous gang that he is than curing an actual disease – he also contributes to the play’s topsy-turvy not impotent in order to woo them (and as a guarantee that he will not world of contradictions and opposites. 7 William Wycherley, The Plain Dealer, in The Plays ed. Arthur Friedman (1979), 411. 6 Norman Norwood Holland, The First Modern Comedies: the Significance of Etherege, 8 Anthony Kaufman, ‘Wycherley’s The Country Wife and the Don Juan ’, Wycherley, and Congreve (1959), 73. Eighteenth-Century Studies, 9 (1975–1976), 216–31 (220).

x xi the country wife introduction tarnish their reputations); so his future will consist of playing cards, Fidget, intending to frustrate both with company that can never become gossiping and sexually pleasuring the women who bore him. His ruse will sexual. As he half realises by the end of the play, he has been cheated: he have other ironic consequences too. He will never be able to boast of his is doomed to be fidgety (uneasy) about his wife for ever. conquests – one of a rake’s main joys – and will instead have to live with pinchwife the slur of impotence, as Webster points out.9 His urge towards libertinism has naturally also brought an end to his family line too – a ‘eunuch’ is Pinchwife’s name implies what others would like to do to his wife – ‘pinch’ ‘socially infertile and essentially unmarriageable’.10 So critics sometimes as in ‘sexually tease’ and also ‘take’ her for themselves. Yet when Margery suggest that Horner’s plot backfires. worries that her husband will ‘pinch me’ (4.3.289), she reveals a darker That, however, is to read against the grain of the play. For The Country meaning to the name too: that Jack Pinchwife is entirely prepared to afflict Wife is a play about moments, not about consequences, and does not itself her physically. look beyond the story it tells. Horner, as depicted in the play, is a successful Though Pinchwife shows plenty of jealousy, he forgets ever to show character, given both the first word and the last, and allowed to be a affection to his wife, while expecting love from her as a matter of duty. His detached commentator throughout. His actions are never criticised, nor is first line to Margery is ‘You’re a fool’ (2.1.36), and he treats her throughout he obliged to reveal or atone for them. Instead, he gets away with every- as his prisoner, locking her up, and claiming he is her ‘guardian’. As his fear thing. Through Horner, Wycherley provocatively challenges and threatens of cuckoldry becomes ever more acute, he subjects Margery to bursts of our values. With Horner’s secret known to us from the start, we are made violent rage. He twice raises a sword to her, and even, ludicrously, once menaces her with a penknife, which as Neill observes is a ‘sword . . . shrunk to be on his side, irrespective of our actual morals, not least because other 13 men in the play provide such negative images of masculinity.11 Perhaps, to . . . Lilliputian proportions’. The range of phallic objects with which then, Horner is really a product of Wycherley’s wishful fantasy.12 Pinchwife threatens Margery indicates the sexual inadequacy behind his constant jealousy and anger. sir jaspar fidget All this may relate to the fact that Pinchwife is an ex-rake who has Sir Jaspar Fidget is always restless (fidgety) to get away to a business not been able even to keep even a whore to himself. Hence his decision to appointment: hence his name. He pays little attention to his wife’s com - marry a country wife: he believes that she will be too ignorant to cuckold pany or, the play implies, her sexual needs, continually concerned with his him. Yet Pinchwife continues to conflate wife and whore, revealing much career. His anxiety even affects his speaking habit: he has a nervous tic, about his essential values. He takes Margery to the eighteen-penny whores’ over-using the term ‘sir’ until it, and the masculinity it implies, are bled of gallery in the theatre (1.1.414); forces her to write the letter he dictates ‘or meaning: I will write “Whore” with this penknife in your face’, 4.2.95–6); and renders her, in the morality of the times, the whore he has always feared she is when My coach breaking just now before your door sir, I look upon as an he delivers her to Horner.14 In a pleasing irony, then, Pinchwife fashions his occasional reprimand to me sir, for not kissing your hands sir, since own disaster. your coming out of France sir; and so my disaster sir, has been my Most of Pinchwife’s actions hasten the event that most preoccupies good fortune sir; and this is my wife, and sister sir (1.1.52–5). him. In forcing Margery to write a letter rejecting Horner, he supplies her Perhaps because of his own inadequacies, Sir Jaspar Fidget is sadistically with the name and address of her admirer; he afterwards hands what delighted by Horner’s ‘disaster’; he invites Horner to spend time with Lady is actually Margery’s love letter to Horner himself; and finally delivers Margery, believing her to be Alithea, to Horner’s house. So the man who pinches his wife’s body virtually ensures his wife will now be pinched 9 Jeremy W. Webster, ‘In and Out of the Bed-chamber: Staging Libertine Desire in (taken) by Horner. Obliged to put up for ever with the suspicion that his ’, Journal for Early Modern Cultural Studies, 12 (2012), 77–96 (84). 10 Laura J. Rosenthal, ‘All Injury’s Forgot: Restoration Sex Comedy and National Amnesia’, wife has committed adultery, Pinchwife is reduced, by the end of the play, Comparative Drama, 42 (2008), 7–28 (25). to being the very cuckold he feared. 11 Robert Markley, Two-Edg’d Weapons: Style and Ideology in the Comedies of Etherege, Wycherley, and Congreve (1988), 166. 13 Michael Neill, ‘Horned Beasts and China Oranges: Reading the Signs in The Country 12 George Beauchamp, ‘The Amorous Machiavellianism of The Country Wife’, Comparative Wife’, Eighteenth Century Life, 12 (1988), 3–17 (10). Drama, 11 (1977–8), 316–30 (323). 14 James Thompson, Language in Wycherley’s Plays (1984), 86.

xii xiii the country wife introduction sparkish with Horner while protecting ‘my dear, dear honour’ (2.1.411), the A ‘spark’ signifies a foppishly dressed character, or a wit. Sparkish, however, repeated word ‘dear’ and the ‘honour’/’Horner’ pun implying what it is is neither. He loves ‘a suit with a French trimming to it’ (1.1.282–3) – a she actually relishes, though she hypocritically masquerades behind claims garish suit – and makes jokes at his own expense without realising it: of virtue. Highly sexed and a lusty drinker, Lady Fidget has several con - ‘I think wit as necessary at dinner as a glass of good wine, and that’s the ventionally masculine traits, including her resemblance to an insatiable reason I never have any stomach when I eat alone’, he says, revealing that, rake. In a scene filled with innuendo, Lady Fidget looks for ‘china’ in when he is alone, there is no supply of wit present (1.1.298–300). Then Horner’s ‘closet’ until his supply is exhausted: ‘I have none left’ (4.3.193). again, he is spark-ish, which suggests he is pretending to a sophistication ‘We women of quality’, responds Lady Fidget, ‘never think we have china he does not in fact possess. enough’ (4.3.201–2). Lady Fidget is both a mirror image of Horner and a As Sparkish favours public acclamation, he believes Alithea’s beauty parody of him; she also out-Horners Horner in sexual voraciousness and and wit will boost his credit with other men. Like Pinchwife, then, Sparkish libertinism. brings about much of his own downfall: he shows off Alithea to Harcourt, dainty fidget and mrs squeamish focusing so powerfully on her charms that Harcourt falls in love with her. He then sends Alithea to the theatre with Harcourt; reconciles Fellow hypocrites with Lady Fidget, Dainty Fidget and Mrs Squeamish Harcourt and Alithea when they quarrel; agrees to employ ‘Harcourt’s’ also, apparently, sleep with Horner. Their names may suggest that they are parson and twin brother (actually Harcourt in disguise) for his wedding; fastidious, but in fact they are ‘dainty’ (nice/refined) and ‘squeamish’ and finally reveals to Alithea: ‘I never had any passion for you . . . I’ll . . . (precious) about their reputations, not their behaviour. With Lady Fidget, resign you with as much joy as I would a stale wench to a new cully’ they make up the ‘virtuous’ (actually rakish) ‘gang’. They seem to use sex (5.3.69–75). Hence the third meaning of Sparkish: he is the spark – the as much to express hostility towards men as for the pleasure of the act. cause of fire – to the love that ignites between Harcourt and Alithea. margery frank harcourt Margery, the country wife, has plenty of country attributes including her Harcourt starts the play as a hard (tough) and courtly gentleman, but pleasingly artless vocabulary (‘grum’, ‘fropish’, ‘nangred’, ‘bud’), and per - becomes softened when he meets Alithea, earning a second meaning to his haps her amoral sensuality, which is often presented in animal form. The name: he finds it hard (difficult) to court (woo) the woman he loves. association of Margery with the word ‘country’, however, may also be Perhaps he wins through because he is always his first name, ‘frank’, about frankly sexual – recalling the ‘country matters’ that Hamlet rejects while his his emotions; the play is set, as the unwitting Sparkish declares, in ‘a frank head is in Ophelia’s ‘lap’ (William Shakespeare, Hamlet, 3.2.104–6) – and age’ (3.2.373). part of the play’s constant urge toward innuendo. Margery has a ‘real’ name in a world in which many other names are dorilant character descriptions. But she is continually redefined by her husband, Dorilant is one of the only characters with a standard Restoration comedy being called ‘minx’, ‘baggage’, ‘whore’ and, when dressed as her brother, name and attitude. When he observes that playwrights should not be held ‘little Sir James’. Much of the play concerns Margery’s discovery of who responsible for the folly of their characters – ‘they must follow their copy, she actually is. She ‘becomes’ her real name – but it is worth remembering the age’ (3.2.130) – he excuses not just himself but also his play, blaming that ‘Margery’, which evoked ‘Margery Daw’ (see notes to ‘The Persons’) its ribaldry and immorality on the mores of the time. did at the time have sluttish connotations. Having readily agreed to an encounter with Horner, Margery falls for Women him; she writes him love letters and eventually dresses up as her sister-in- lady fidget law, Alithea, in the hope of being delivered to him for good. Slow to realise Lady Fidget is fidgeting as much for sex as her husband is for business. that infidelities must be kept secret, she endangers the reputation of all the She makes this clear when she disdains Horner as soon as she learns he is women when she claims that Horner is not a eunuch ‘to my certain know- a ‘eunuch’, announcing her disgust with her verbal tic – the repeated ledge’ (5.4.382). Only very late in the play does she learn enough London exclamation ‘foh’. Her attitude changes when she learns she can have sex sophistication to realise that she must lie to preserve her reputation. As she

xiv xv the country wife introduction is then doomed to return to the country with her cruel and now distrustful One of The Country Wife’s concerns, as the play’s title suggests, is the husband, she is the play’s most obvious victim (2.4.24). nature and role of the wife. The marriages in the play all appear to have alithea been ‘arranged’ rather than to be based on mutual admiration or even friendship; Pinchwife and Sir Jaspar Fidget are male oppressors with Unlike the other characters, whose names evoke physical actions, Alithea’s sexually frustrated wives, and Sparkish is preparing to be an equally bad name evokes a constant: it means ‘truth’ – both in the sense of being husband to Alithea. As each couple is associated with a different geographic faithful, and of not lying. Yet in the play Alithea learns to betray both area – the Fidgets with business and ‘the city’, Sparkish and Alithea with meanings of her name. Opening the drama betrothed to doltish Sparkish, pleasure and what was colloquially known as ‘the town’, the Pinchwifes Alithea continues to affirm her loyalty to him. It is only when Sparkish with the country – the state of marriage everywhere comes under attack.15 viciously drops her that she realises she should not be faithful (truthful) to Though the successful Alithea and Harcourt love plot may suggest that a a worthless man; at the same time, she also learns the importance of lying. mutually affectionate match is possible if personal ‘choice’ in partners is She persuades Pinchwife that Margery is innocent while knowing that she allowed, the fact that Alithea has shown lamentably poor judgement in is not, before instructing him that ‘women and fortune are truest still to evaluating potential husbands, and Harcourt is a rake, problematizes their those that trust ’em’ (5.4.397–8). With this, she redefines ‘truth’. Rather marriage too. than an objective quality, she claims that truth is defined by the trust of Being a play of contraries, The Country Wife seems to promote others, though that is not a point the play upholds (Sir Jaspar trusts his marriage’s reverse: libertinism. It features the glamorous, unmarried rake, wife – wrongly!) What Alithea is really coming to grips with is that all her Horner, who sleeps with as many women as possible, and gets away with ‘noble’ values are, in the play’s cynical world, wrong. it. Yet images of the horrific results of libertinism, venereal disease, also Alithea is more like Margery than either realise. Like Margery she pervade the drama from exclamations onwards; Horner, pretending that mistakes indifference for love. Like Margery she has a bad, loveless match, a bad cure for the ‘pox’ has made him impotent, gestures at the disease and yet powerfully attracts the attention of other men. The two even share to which libertinism leads. Moreover, Horner’s sexual freedom seems the same surname, ‘Pinchwife’, and clearly look similar: when Margery less appealing when he has to accept the insults – ‘beast’ and ‘toad’ – of the dresses as Alithea, Pinchwife cannot tell the difference. It is not surprising, virtuous gang, and then sleep with them as their collective ‘Harry Common’ then, that both learn the same ‘skill’ – to lie – at the end of the play. Though (5.4.177); the women’s libertinism is always presented negatively. Though intellectually and verbally superior to Margery, Alithea is as ignorant about the tone of the play is promiscuous, then, its depiction of libertinism is Margery about men. Luckily for her, she learns her lesson in time to marry also troubled. the right person. Perhaps the problem is that the desire for sex, the end to which marri- lucy age and libertinism tend, and a crucial link between men and women, is Lucy, meaning ‘light’, a small role during most of The Country Wife, is vital questioned. It is not only that Horner views what he calls ‘love’ as a ‘malady’ to the story’s ‘happy’ conclusion. That the most shrewd and scheming for which an ‘antidote’ is needed (1.1.24). Margery too speaks of having person in the drama is both a woman and of the lower orders is one of the acquired ‘the London disease they call love’ (4.4.1–2), while her interest in 16 play’s final ironies. Horner renders Pinchwife ‘sick’ (3.1.49). Seen as an illness for which only temporary respite can be gained, the negativity surrounding ‘love’ (sex) Themes may explain the ambiguity of all the other themes; in this play, sex is The play is ironic throughout, yet is never cynical, perhaps because farce usually an act of power, revenge or aggression. True, the negativity is never so often takes over. It appears to promote cuckoldry, lying and hypoc- angry – but behind it seems to be a genial dislike of men and women, and risy, which may be a way of criticising the society that endorses such values, the sex that links them. or may, alternatively, be a frank celebration of the mores of the time. Not so much amoral, as anti-moral, the play explores themes of marriage, libertinism and sex, but seems to view all three with an exuberant 15 Barbara A. Kachur, Etherege and Wycherley (2004), 150. negativity. 16 Virginia Ogden Birdsall, Wild Civility: The English Comic Spirit on the Restoration Stage (1970), 142.

xvi xvii the country wife introduction

Yet in an important book, Eve Sedgwick maintains that the real focus impotence obviously ‘feminises’ him. When Horner is reduced to serving of the play is the ‘homosocial’ relationship between men and men.17 As the virtuous gang sexually, he takes on ‘what is typically the feminine role Pinchwife’s measure of success is a marriage in which he is not cuckolded, of sexual object only’.20 Though The Country Wife hardly champions the and Horner’s measure of success is how many husbands he has cuckolded, rights of women, most of whom are abhorrent, it does suggest that women the play is in some sense a male struggle for mastery, with women the are similar in nature and desires to men – and perhaps tacitly questions objects but not the subjects of the fight. why they do not have equal marital rights.21 However, it is hard to wrest a A homosocial battle does certainly seem to be part of Horner’s motiv - positive social point from a play dedicated to showing the ludicrous not ation; even his name is ‘a sign . . . of hostility toward men’.18 He evinces just in every person, but each gender – and gender itself. more pleasure from duping husbands than sleeping with their spouses, What the play presents positively is wit and linguistic ability. Horner’s witness the fact that he decides to pursue Margery before he has met her: real triumph is a verbal one more than a sexual one. He tells Pinchwife to his actual aim is to frustrate Pinchwife’s hope of a trustworthy wife. For the bring his wife to town ‘to be taught breeding’ (1.1.345), for instance, same reason, he does not share his ‘impotence’ story with Pinchwife – his punning between the straightforward meaning of the phrase, to be taught pleasure comes from letting Pinchwife know he has been cuckolded; while social conduct, and what he actually means, reproduction. The Country Wife he does tell the impotence story to Sir Jaspar Fidget – his pleasure there always lionises characters who can use phrases to convey two meanings – comes from cuckolding Sir Jaspar in front of his eyes. ‘We have long judged one innocent, one sexual – at the same time. The most triumphant are able Horner’s motivation in the play as the consummation of his lust’, observes to make puns even where language provides none, turning entirely inno- Vance, ‘but his initial stimulation seems . . . [to be to] “abuse the husbands” cent words into sexual ones. In a famous scene, Horner and Lady Fidget rather than its complement, “I’ll soon disabuse the wives”’.19 Sex aside, use the word ‘china’ to mean ‘porcelain’ to the innocent Sir Jaspar Fidget, Horner is equally ready to dupe his supposed male friends, the wits. while redefining it to mean ‘sex’ to them (and the audience); this allows Harcourt and Dorliant are not in his confidence and are never told his Lady Fidget to go to Horner’s bedroom to help herself to his ‘china’, while secret; Harcourt’s love for Alithea is sacrificed to protect Margery’s (lack her delighted husband calls out to her that Horner ‘is coming into you the of) honour. back way!’ (4.3.132–3). It is not only Horner, moreover, who gets pleasure from making fools The characters that Wycherley presents as figures of fun are those who of other men. Sir Jaspar Fidget visits Horner to gloat at a libertine turned lack verbal sophistication and who have what Horner characterises as ‘an eunuch (‘the report is true, I find . . . I’ll plague him yet’, 1.1.61–7); innocent, literal understanding’ (4.3.207). Margery really does fail to Harcourt, Dorilant and Horner jeer at Sparkish for his lack of the verbal understand the double meanings she speaks, and when she lists the ‘brave talent (‘The worst music, the greatest preparation’, 1.1.269), and goad signs’ on the shops in London– ‘the Bull’s Head, the Ram’s Head . . . the Pinchwife in order to watch him squirm in jealousy (‘let us torment this Stag’s Head’ – she does not hear the threat of ‘horns’ of which Pinchwife jealous rogue a little’, 3.2.458–9). All the men in this play are antagonistic and the audience are only too aware (3.2.202–3). Likewise, when Sir Jaspar towards one another; all are, consequently, alone – yet none seem really Fidget tells Horner that the virtuous gang ‘would come to no man’s ball but to mind. yours’ (5.2.104–5), the play does not elucidate the joke, but undoubtedly Extending his exploration of gender beyond men’s relationship to the audience hear it. In this way, Wycherley flatters us, the spectators, women, and men’s relationship to men, Wycherley ultimately questions putting us on the side of the witty and knowing, while also showing that gender stereotypes themselves. Several of his women have ‘male’ qualities we are as corrupt, and as ready to find sex in everything, as the play’s most – the virtuous gang sing ribald drinking songs to the ‘dear brimmer’ and duplicitous characters. are sexually pushy (5.4.42) – and several of his men have ‘female’ qualities: Through questioning the link between language and sense, Wycherley Sparkish ‘cannot [hold his] drink’ (1.1.214) and Horner’s pretended is able to query values. In The Country Wife, words that represent tradi - tional signs of virtue regularly morph into other, devalued meanings. The word ‘honour’, for instance, used eighty-six times in The Country Wife, is 17 Eve Kosofksy Sedgwick, Between Men: and Male Homosocial Desire (1985), chapter 3. 18 Pat Gill, Interpreting Ladies (1994), 59. 20 Kachur, op. cit., 180. 19 John A. Vance, William Wycherley and the Comedy of Fear (2000), 83. 21 Ibid., 152.

xviii xix the country wife introduction altered in the process until it loses its obvious sense altogether. To Sparkish, convention demanded that the rake marry his match at the end), has the ‘honour’ appears to mean being seen as a wit; to Pinchwife ‘honour’ is last words: having a chaste wife; to Lady Fidget ‘honour’ is having a good public . . . he who aims by women to be prized, reputation. ‘Honour’, among the virtuous gang, comes to mean being dis - First by the men, you see, must be despised. (5.4.432–3) honourable and getting away with it. Through this, Wycherley shows how easy it is for the word and hence its value to become its opposite. ‘Kind’, In this couplet, Horner declares that it is impossible to be well regarded by ‘civil’ and ‘virtue’ also come to mean ‘chary of reputation’ and ‘desirous of both sexes, and even boasts that his own sex dislike him, as though that sex’ during the play; ‘innocent’, ‘virtue’, ‘reputation’, ‘noble’, ‘breeding’ are is part of his achievement. Thus the ending is a conclusion in which little also sexualised. ‘Quality’, meanwhile, found in phrases like ‘women of has been resolved, and, in outrageously amoral fashion, the libertine has quality’, stands equally for an ideological ideal, and the corruption of that triumphed over his fellow men, and his cuckoldry is set to continue ideal; it is not even ‘a stable irony but a subversive, dialogical irony that indefinitely. Yet at this moment the farce, too, wins out. The play is joyful questions the evaluative standard the term implies’.22 As a result, the civil - in a celebration of cuckoldry that ‘represents, not the birth of a new and ised values represented by the words come to seem ludicrous; eventually better society, but the triumph of the old’.26 Though Margery will be the audience laugh as soon as they hear words like ‘honour’. Thus, in ‘post - removed from the London whose duplicitous ways she has only just modern’ fashion, the play uses words not to confirm meaning but to query learned, the play removes its focus from her, giving Lady Fidget (played by the quality thought to reside in the meaning. The play’s contradictions Mrs Knepp) the last, contradictory, word in the Epilogue: ‘we women – may arise from the ambiguity of word and meaning – anxious to collapse there’s no coz’ning us!’ (Epilogue, 33). the two, Wycherley confounded all values in their opposite.23 Why did Wycherley do this? For one reason, he promoted the instability Original Staging of language as his way of illustrating – ‘criticising’ would be too strong a The County Wife will have been early in its run when it was put on twice term – a world of topsy-turvy values. He was also, of course, responding before royalty in January 1675. Staged in the Theatre Royal, Drury Lane – to the fact that a revolution in language was taking place in the Restoration, a new building designed by Sir Christopher Wren – the play makes impor- and that Restoration philosophy was exploring the links between language tant use of the theatre’s features. The substantial and well-lit forestage, on and meaning. But attempts to make ‘The instability of meaning . . . which the actors could speak directly to the audience, was where the “meaningfully” reflective of instability in the world beyond the play’ might epilogue, Mrs Knepp (Lady Fidget), was made to confront spectators with be, as ever, to give Wycherley too serious an intention.24 This is, after all, a their desire to resemble Horner – only, in keeping with the play’s contra- play in which, as Peggy Knapp reminds us, wit is rewarded over goodness, dictions, to castigate them and then deny the connection: ‘Whoso … A ‘and the characters are arranged in a readable economy of wittiness’; Horner’s part may vainly think to play . . . have a care’ (Epilogue, 21–9). Wycherley, unsure about any values, may simply be more thrilled by lin- Sets, as in most Restoration theatres, will have consisted of pictures on guistic than sexual triumph.25 a series of large ‘wings’ that could be run in along grooves behind the The end of the play brings together the themes covered throughout: proscenium arch, backed by a pair of painted shutters, giving a sense of the battle of and within the sexes, the difficulties of marriage and libertin- stage-depth and perspective. Wycherley made telling use of these set ism, and the triumph of wit over morality. In a perversion of the betrothal ‘scenes’ to create four locations for his play – Horner’s lodgings, Pinchwife’s dance that would usually conclude a comedy, Pinchwife, warning equally lodgings, Pinchwife’s bedroom, (and the Exchange). The against trusting a ‘woman’ or a ‘friend’, leads a dance of cuckolds (5.4.428). two ‘lodgings’ meant that the living conditions of a libertine and a cuckold After that, Horner, conspicuously unattached still (though Restoration were continually being compared, and ensured that events concerning other characters were divided between Horner’s and Pinchwife’s houses – 22 Robert Markley, Two-Edg’d Weapons (1988), 168. the Fidgets, unsurprisingly, submit to Horner in his licentious house, while 23 Deborah C. Payne, ‘Reading the Signs in The Country Wife’, Studies in English Literature, Harcourt and Alithea, more troublingly, come together in Pinchwife’s 1500–1900, 26 (1986), 403–19. 24 Susan Owen, Perspectives on Restoration Drama (2002), 60. 25 Peggy A. Knapp, ‘The “Plyant” Discourse of Wycherley’s The Country Wife’, Studies in 26 Harold Weber, ‘“Horner and his Women of Honour”: The Dinner Party in The Country English Literature, 1500–1900, 40 (2000), 451–72 (464). Wife’, Modern Language Quarterly, 43 (1982), 107–20 (119).

xx xxi the country wife introduction unhappy home. The fact that the sole bedchamber staged is in Pinchwife’s known for playing villains like Volpone and Iago, was cast as Pinchwife, house strikes a dark note; as Webster observes, the result is that ‘it is not the which will have accentuated the character’s vicious side. The popular libertine’s bed-chamber that threatens women with misogyny, violence, was chosen for Horner, and for Harcourt; and sexual predation but rather that of the prudish husband’.27 The play’s they were probably selected because Hart had already been libertine to fourth location, ‘London’, will have added to the metatheatre too; it Kynaston’s romantic in Wycherley’s Love in a Wood. The choice of Elizabeth ensured that place constantly emphasised the isolated otherness of the Knepp as Lady Fidget will likewise have related to earlier type-casting. She ‘country’ wife, Margery. was, said her husband, made up of a ‘delicate compound of Spirit and The stage’s fixed structure was also used to make metatheatrical points. Rump’ and generally played voluptuous and flirtatious women – Lady Pinchwife locks Margery behind a door when he leaves the house but, Fidget’s desires thus will have been clear well before they were spoken.28 tellingly, Horner also locks Margery behind a door when Lady Fidget Elizabeth Boutell, ‘a Favourite of the Town’, was cast as Margery, not only unexpectedly arrives. Though notionally in different houses, both men because she tended to play naive women but also because she was known lock Margery behind the same stage door – or its mirror opposite on the for her shapely legs as revealed in ‘breeches’ roles;29 Margery’s disguise as other side of the stage – pointing out that everything Margery does results ‘little Sir James’ will have shown off Boutell to her best advantage and in being ‘imprisoned’ by a man. The play’s staging thus equates the ensured, in line with the play’s blurring of men and women, that Margery husband’s and lover’s masculine oppression, while Margery’s subjection is is never more alluringly feminine than when dressed as a man. shown to be a given irrespective of which man she is with. Props, too, are used metatheatrically. They are made to ‘speak’ some of Recent Performances the play’s message – hardly surprisingly, given Wycherley’s interest in For many years, David Garrick’s cleaned-up and bloodless version of The language and signs. Horner’s sexual dimensions are indicated when Lady Country Wife, called The Country Girl (1766), held the stage: between 1753, Fidget emerges from the ‘china’ incident carrying what Horner promises and 1924, when The Country Wife was mounted at the Regent Theatre, to the rest of the virtuous gang – a ‘roll-waggon’ (a notably well-sized and London, by the Phoenix Society, audiences were deemed too ‘polite’ to be long-necked china vase, 4.3.204). The sexuality of Margery, meanwhile, is shown the play in original form. Even in 1924, reviewers doubted the depicted when she enters clasping oranges – these link her visually to the drama had much future on the modern stage as ‘it is almost brutally theatre’s desirable and sexually available ‘orange-wenches’, while symbolic - offensive’.30 Nevertheless, in the permissive 1930s The Country Wife ally suggesting that she is the forbidden fruit Horner intends to taste. premiered in New York in 1931. It played in New York again in 1936, when Wycherley, then, was highly conscious of the theatre as theatre; indeed, it was mounted at Henry Miller’s Theater, with Ruth Gordon performing he even draws attention to the performance space in which The Country the role of Margery. Later that same year Gordon reprised her flamboy - Wife is being played. Horner reveals that he has just made his first public antly American Margery at the Old Vic in London, where the startling appearance as a eunuch in ‘the playhouse’, and implies that what he saw contrast she made to ’s Horner and ’s Lady was ’s The Feigned Innocence: or Sir Martin Mar-All (1667) Fidget in Tyrone Guthrie’s production, underlined the isolation and (1.1.224–5). By so doing, he identifies himself as ‘marred’ to the other otherness of the ‘country wife’. characters in the play; to us, however, he metatheatrically links his char- Over a relatively short period, the play became a staple for famous acter with pretence and playacting, connects the play in which he stars performers, particularly in England. In 1955 it was staged at Stratford East; with another extremely popular Molière-based drama – and hints that the in 1956 it was put on at the Royal Court, where it was directed by George fiction the spectators are watching features characters like themselves. Devine and starred as Margery; and in 1969 it played at The actors of the King’s Company were a final part of Wycherley’s the Chichester Festival Theatre, where it was directed by Robert Chetwyn metatheatre. Like most playwrights of the period, Wycherley wrote his play and starred as Margery – this production is said to have bearing specific actors in mind. William Cartwright, famous for the jeux inspired the Warren Beatty film Shampoo (1975). d’esprit of his comic characters – Falstaff and Corbaccio – was cast as Sir Jaspar Fidget, ensuring the genial levity of that role; , 28 Quoted in Jocelyn Powell, Restoration Theatre Production (1984), 128. 29 , History of the English Stage (1741), 21. 27 Webster, ‘In and Out of the Bed-chamber’, 90. 30 Deborah Kaplan, ‘Representing the Nation’, Theatre Survey, 36 (1995), 37–61 (47).

xxii xxiii the country wife introduction

In USA, the play was mounted in 1965 at Lincoln Center, New York and punctuation it was also the copy text for the octavo edition of where The Repertory Theatre was said to have performed ‘as if it really didn’t Wycherley’s Works in 1713 (O). This was the last edition in the author’s like the play at all’.31 Still, perhaps, too ribald for mainstream theatres, The lifetime. There is no evidence that he ever revised the text. Country Wife enjoys a US revival every four years or so in universities, The copy text for this edition is the Cambridge University Library copy provincial theatres and Off (and Off-Off) Broadway. In Australia and of Q1 (in the Brett-Smith collection) collated with the Readex microprint South Africa, too, it tends to be performed outside the major theatres. of the Library of Congress copy, the University Microfilms (Ann Arbor) In UK, however, it remains widely popular. Even if the National microfilm of the Huntington Library copy, and the Scolar Press facsimile Theatre’s 1977 production, directed by Sir Peter Hall with Albert Finney as of the British Library copy. Cambridge University Library copies of Q2–5 Horner, was, as Hall himself records in his Diaries, full of ‘stridency and of and O have also been examined. Departures from Q1 involving changes of nothingness’,32 a 1977 BBC television version, put on as , wording have been recorded in the footnotes, where readings from Q2–5 and starring Helen Mirren as Margery, Anthony Andrews as Horner and and O are sometimes quoted in support. Speech prefixes have been expanded, Bernard Cribbins as Pinchwife, was aired in the UK and in much of the and for the sake of clarity mr has been dropped before Pinchwife’s name Anglophone world: for many people, this version is The Country Wife. but mrs has been retained before his wife’s. In the stage directions In the 1990s the play had a new burst of UK popularity. Perhaps its and Mrs. have been regularised to Mrs (for Mrs Pinchwife) and Mrs for exploration of libertinism struck a chord in a post-Aids world, or perhaps the other ladies, while in the text, Mr and Mrs have been expanded to its concentration on ‘hypocrisy revealed’ seemed particularly relevant. In Master and Mistress. Additions to the text are given in square brackets. 1993 three major productions were staged concurrently, updated through Directions for asides are placed before the speeches to which they refer. music, including Max Stafford-Clark’s RSC (Swan) production which had Spelling and punctuation are modernised, though some dashes have been modern, satirical songs by Ian Dury and Mickey Gallagher; and the retained, to show transitions from asides to dialogue, parenthetical remarks, Heather Brothers’ production, which turned the entire play into a musical and unfinished sentences. for the Haymarket, renamed Lust. In the 2000s the play has remained popular: Michael Grandage’s pro- Date and Sources duction has been branded ‘merry’ (Sheffield, Crucible, 2000), Jonathan Wycherley has two French sources for the plot of The Country Wife: Kent’s ‘naughty’ (Theatre Royal, Haymarket 2007), and Polly Findlay’s Molière’s L’École des Maris (1661) and L’École des Femmes (1662). From ‘spirited’ (Royal Exchange Manchester, 2012). The play’s harsher side does, L’École des Maris he takes the idea of turning a dupe into a go-between. however, continue to shape contemporary productions. In 2004, Tanika The repressive Sganarelle, like Pinchwife, carries the love letter of his fiancé Gupta transposed the play on to an ethnically hybrid London community, Isabelle to her lover Valère and ends up arranging their marriage too. From showing that the issues of arranged marriages, sex, love and unfaithfulness L’École des Femmes, a play about a middle-aged man, Arnolphe, who wants are as relevant today as they have ever been (Palace, Watford, 2004). to marry his ward, Agnes – but not be cuckolded by her – The Country Wife takes even more of the Pinchwife plot. Arnolphe brings Agnes up in a Note on the Text convent to ensure her innocence, but this does not ensure her love, and after james ogden Agnes falls in love with Horace when she meets him. Yet Wycherley’s focus on wit, banter and innuendo differentiates him from Molière: Molière was The Country Wife was first published in quarto in 1675 (Q1). By the stan- concerned with character complexity and moral message, Wycherley with dards of the time it is nicely printed with few errors. The impression that language above everything else. Tellingly, Molière’s careful alexandrines it could have been printed from an author’s fair copy is supported by the are replaced by Wycherley’s colloquial and malleable prose – partly because unusually detailed stage directions. The first quarto was reprinted in 1683 prose was what London audiences wanted, and partly because prose (Q2), and the second in 1688 (Q3) and 1695 (Q4). These reprints correct ensured focus on words and meaning, rather than lyricism. some errors but make quite a lot more. Q4 was very inaccurately reprinted There is also a potential other plot behind The Country Wife – or, per- in the same year (Q5). Perhaps because Q4 tried to regularise the spelling haps, behind L’École des Maris. Terence’s play The Eunuch (161 bc) features 31 Tish Dace and Letitia Dace, Martin Sherman: Skipping Over Quicksand (2011), 21. a young man, Chaerea, who gains entry to the room of the supposed slave 32 Peter Hall, Diaries ed. John Goodwin (1983), 323.

xxiv xxv the country wife introduction girl Pamphila, by posing as a eunuch; he then rapes her. Wycherley’s per- were disgusted by the play became the subject of Wycherley’s Plain Dealer sis tent use of the term ‘eunuch’ for Horner may have been chosen to draw (1676) in which Olivia, having seen The Country Wife, smashes all her attention to the bleakest side of his play’s Terentian forbear. china as she is so repulsed by its associations. It should be borne in mind, however, that Wycherley’s own life will also In 1678 Wycherley met Countess Letitia-Isabella Moore (d. 1685), have provided characterisation and discourse for his play. In The Tatler, daughter of John, Lord Robartes, Earl of Radnor. Though she was at the observed in condemnatory fashion that ‘The Comedies of time wife of Charles, second earl of Drogheda, Wycherley courted her Wycherley bear a great resemblance to his personal character, in which there assiduously. That same year, he contracted a fever, and went to France to was little virtue, much wit, and more libertinism’; much of Wycherley’s convalesce; Charles II paid £500 to defray the charges of his journey. He verbal skill and loose morals reflect his social group; while Horner is returned in 1679 when the king offered him £1500 a year, plus a substantial probably based on personal wish-fulfilment.33 pension, to be tutor to his bastard son Charles Lennox, Duke of Richmond. When the Countess’ husband died in 1679, Wycherley married her; as a The Author consequence, he lost favour with the king who had been kept in ignorance William Wycherley was baptised in Whitchurch, Hampshire, in April 1641. about the wedding. Litigation, debt and his wife’s jealousy, made for an He was the eldest son of Daniel Wycherley, a royalist, and minor landowner increasingly unhappy marriage. Though the Countess left her fortune to in Clive, Shropshire. At the age of fifteen William Wycherley was sent to com - Wycherley at her death in 1685, lawsuits continued; being unable to defray plete his education in France, where he converted to Roman Catholicism, charges, Wycherley was sent to debtors’ prison at the Fleet. In this state he and learned to love French fashion, writing and women. languished, perhaps for several years. It took King James II to use his On his return to England, he entered the Inner Temple before becoming bounty to release Wycherley. a gentleman commoner at Queen’s College, Oxford. He failed to graduate, Now an elderly and increasingly unwell roué, Wycherley made friends however, perhaps held back by his Catholic faith – though while there he also with his admirer, the young Alexander Pope, who found him, though bril- reconverted to Protestantism. Having served in Ireland, he joined a diplomatic liant, not ‘grave enough or consistent enough’.35 Full of regrets, and failing expedition to Madrid, which gave him a knowledge of Spanish drama. On his artistically, Wycherley had himself depicted as a young man for the frontis - return to England ‘his genius and gaiety introduced him to the most piece of his Miscellany Poems of 1703; he then went around town quoting celebrated characters of the reign of Charles II’ including the king himself.34 the Virgilian motto he had asked accompany it, Quantum mutatus ab illo He became famous for his sexual prowess, and took as his lover Barbara (‘How changed from him’) which he announced ‘with a melancholy Villiers, countess of Castlemaine and Duchess of Cleveland, who had earlier emphasis’.36 In 1715 Wycherley’s disintegration led him to take the cure at been mistress to Charles II. Famously, the Duchess once visited him dressed Bath. It did not work, and he returned to London unable to digest food. He as a country girl; his notions of sexy country women may relate to this. nevertheless managed one last scandal. As newspapers recorded, ‘Mr. Known for his dissolute behaviour, Wycherley was one of a series of Wycherly, the Ingenious Author of . . . the Comedy call’d, The Country court , wits and writers that included George Villiers, second Wife, hath taken one to himself, Aged about 24, he being 75’.37 The men - Duke of Buckingham, John Wilmot, earl of Rochester, Sir Charles Sedley, tally decaying Wycherley had been duped into a marriage with the young Sir , and . mistress of his cousin Thomas Shrimpton – an arrangement designed to Wycherley’s first play, inspired by his life, his friends, and his knowledge fleece him of his money. Nevertheless, he was thus able to fulfil his resolu- of continental literature, was Love in a Wood, which was performed by the tion ‘to die married, though . . . he was unwilling to live so’; eleven days King’s Company in 1671; his second, The Gentleman Dancing Master, was after the celebration of his nuptials, on 1 January 1715, he passed away, performed by the rival Duke’s Company, also in 1671, and established his professing his Catholic faith.38 place as a writer of comedies of manners. The Country Wife, his master - piece, was acted in the Theatre Royal, Drury Lane, four years later, on 12 35 , ‘Letter from Alexander Pope to Swift’, Nov 28, 1729, The Works, 2 vols January 1675; it outraged and impressed in equal measure. Women who (1841), 2: 633. 36 Joseph Spence and Samuel Weller Singer, Anecdotes, Observations, and Characters, of Books and Men (1820), 17. 33 Richard Steele, The Tatler, April 16, 1709. 37 Weekly Journal or British Gazetteer (December 31, 1715). 34 Augustin Daly, The Country Girl (1884), 5. 38 Augustin Daly, The Country Girl (1884),

xxvi xxvii ABBREVIATIONS further reading

Cook and David Cook and John Swannell (eds), The Country Wife Editions Swannell (1975) William Wycherley, The Country Wife, ed. Thomas H. Fujimura (1965) Dixon Peter Dixon (ed.), William Wycherley: The Country Wife ————, The Complete Plays, ed. Gerald Weales (1967) and Other Plays (1996) ————, The Country Wife ed. Marvin T. Herrick (1970) ————, The Country Wife, ed. John Dixon Hunt (1973) ed. editor; in the textual notes, indicates a reading not found ————, The Country Wife ed. David Cook and John Swannell (1975) in Q1–5 and O ————, The Plays, ed. Arthur Friedman (1979) Etherege References to The Man of Mode are to John Barnard’s ————, The Plays, ed. Peter Holland (1981) New Mermaid edition ————, The Country Wife and Other Plays, ed. Peter Dixon (1986) ————, The Country Wife, ed. James Ogden (1991) Farmer and J. S. Farmer and W. E. Henley, A Dictionary of Slang 1890– Restoration Comedy: The Country Wife; The Rover; The Way of the World, Henley 1904; 1987) eds Trevor R. Griffiths, Simon Trussler (2005) Friedman Arthur Friedman (ed.), The Plays of William Wycherley (1979). References to Wycherley’s Plays other than The Books Country Wife are to this edition. Austin, Michael, Useful Fictions: Evolution, Anxiety, and the Origins of Holland Peter Holland (ed.), The Plays of William Wycherley (1981) Literature (2011) Birdsall, Virginia Ogden, Wild Civility: The English Comic Spirit on the Hunt John Dixon Hunt (ed.), The Country Wife (1973) Restoration Stage (1970) Jonson References to Volpone and The Alchemist are to The Com - Chadwick, W. R. [William Rowley], Four Plays of William Wycherley plete Plays of Ben Jonson, ed. G. A. Wilkes (1982), vol. III (1975) Markley Robert Markley, Two-Edg’d Weapons: Style and Ideology in Gill, Pat, Interpreting Ladies: Women, Wit, and Morality in the Restoration the Comedies of Etherege, Wycherley and Congreve (1988) (1994) Harwood, John T., Critics, Values, and Restoration Comedy (1982) O The octavo edition of Wycherley’s Works (1713) Holland, Norman Norwood, The First Modern Comedies: the Significance OED Oxford English Dictionary, 2nd edn (1989) of Etherege, Wycherley, and Congreve (1959) Partridge Eric Partridge, A Dictionary of Historical Slang, abridged Hume, Robert D., The Development of English Drama in the Late Seven- by Jacqueline Simpson (1972) teenth Century (1976) Kachur, Barbara A., Etherege and Wycherley (2004) Q1,2,3,4,5 The quarto editions of The Country Wife (1675, 1683, Markley, Robert, Two-edg’d Weapons: Style and Ideology in the Comedies of 1688, 1695); see ‘Note on the Text’ Etherege, Wycherley, and Congreve (1988) sd stage direction McCarthy, B. Eugene, William Wycherley: A Biography (1979) Marshall, W. Gerald, A Great Stage of Fools: Theatricality and Madness in the Plays of William Wycherley (1992) Milhous, Judith, and Robert D. Hume, Producible Interpretation (1985) Owen, Susan, Perspectives on Restoration Drama (2002) Powell, Jocelyn, Restoration Theatre Production (1984) Sedgwick, Eve Kosofsky, Between Men: English Literature and Male Homo- social Desire (1985)

xxviii xxix the country wife further reading

Thompson, James, Language in Wycherley’s Plays: Seventeenth-Century Neill, Michael, ‘Horned Beasts and China Oranges: Reading the Signs in Language Theory and Drama (1984) The Country Wife’, Eighteenth Century Life, 12.2 (1988), 3–17 Vance, John A., William Wycherley and the Comedy of Fear (2000) Payne, Deborah C., ‘Reading the Signs in The Country Wife’, Studies in Vernon, P. F., William Wycherley (1965) English Literature, 1500–1900, 26 (1986), 403–19 Weber, Harold, The Restoration Rake-Hero (1986) Righter, Anne, ‘William Wycherley’, Restoration Theatre (Arnold, 1985), Webster, Jeremy W., Performing Libertinism in Charles II’s Court (2005) 70–91 Young, Douglas M., The Feminist Voices in Restoration Comedy: the Virtuous Rosenthal, Laura J., ‘“All Injury’s Forgot”: Restoration Sex Comedy and Women in the Play-Worlds of Etherege, Wycherley, and Congreve (1997) National Amnesia’, Comparative Drama, 42 (2008), 7–28 Rose A. Zimbardo, Wycherley’s Drama: a Link in the Development of English Slade, Giles, ‘The Two Backed Beast: Eunuchus and Priapus in The Satire (1965) Country Wife’, Restoration and Eighteenth-century Theatre Research 7.1 (1992), 23–34 Essays Thompson, Peggy, ‘The Limits of Parody in The Country Wife’, Studies in Beauchamp, George, ‘The Amorous Machiavellianism of The Country Philology, 89 (1992), 100–14 Wife’, Comparative Drama, 11 (1977–8), 316–30 Velissariou, Aspasia, ‘Patriarchal Tactics of Control and Female Desire in Burke, Helen M., ‘Wycherley’s Tendentious Joke: the Discourse of Alterity Wycherley’s The Gentleman Dancing-Master and The Country Wife’, in The Country Wife’, The Eighteenth Century: Theory and Interpretation , Texas Studies in Literature and Language, 37 (1995), 115–26 29 (1988), 227–41 Webster, Jeremy W., ‘In and Out of the Bed-chamber: Staging Libertine Cohen, Derek, ‘The Country Wife and Social Danger’, Restoration and Desire in Restoration Comedy’, Journal for Early Modern Cultural Eighteenth-Century Theatre Research, 10 (1995), 1–14 Studies, 12 (2012), 77–96 Duncan, Douglas, ‘Mythic Parody in The Country Wife’, Essays in Criticism, 31 (1981), 299–312 Ford, Douglas, ‘The Country Wife: Rake Hero as Artist’, Restoration: Studies in English Literary Culture, 1660–1700, 17 (1993), 77–84 Hallett, Charles A., ‘The Hobbesian Substructure of The Country Wife’, Papers on Language and Literature, 9 (1973), 380–95 Hawkins, Barrie, ‘The Country Wife: Metaphor Manifest’, Restoration and Eighteenth-Century Theatre Research, 11 (1996), 40–63 Hughes, Derek, ‘Naming and Entitlement in Wycherley, Etherege, and Dryden’, Comparative Drama, 21.3 (1987), 259–89 Kaufman, Anthony, ‘The Shadow of the Burlador: Don Juan on the Continent and in England’, Comedy from Shakespeare to Sheridan, ed. A. R. Braunmuller and J. C. Bulman (Associated University Presses, 1986), 229–54 Knapp, Peggy A., ‘The “Plyant” Discourse of Wycherley’s The Country Wife’, Studies in English Literature, 1500–1900, 40 (2000), 451–72 Love, Harold, ‘The Theatrical Geography of The Country Wife’, Southern Review (Adelaide), 16 (1983), 404–15 Marshall, W. Gerald, ‘Wycherley’s “Great Stage of Fools”: Madness and Theatricality in The Country Wife’, Studies in English Literature, 1500– 1900, 29 (1989), 409–29

xxx xxxi

the persons

mr horner Mr Hart mr harcourt Mr Kynaston mr dorilant Mr Lydall mr pinchwife Mr Mohun mr sparkish Mr Haines 5 sir jaspar fidget Mr Cartwright mrs margery pinchwife Mrs Boutell mrs alithea Mrs James my lady fidget Mrs Knepp mrs dainty fidget Mrs Corbet 10 mrs squeamish Mrs Wyatt old lady squeamish Mrs Rutter waiters, servants, and attendants a boy a quack Mr Shatterell 15 lucy, Alithea’s Maid Mrs Corey

the scene: London

The Persons This cast list is illogically placed after the prologue in Q1 and most modern editions. It omits Clasp, a bookseller, mentioned at III.ii.135, and a parson mentioned in the stage direction at V.iv.200. horner: maker of cuckolds (see I.i.70, note); the word is used in this sense by John Fletcher in The Elder Brother (1637) IV.iv. To Olivia in The Plain Dealer ‘the very name’ suggests ‘the image of a goat, a town-bull, or a satyr’ (II.i.412–15), that is, a lecherous creature. Also associated with the Devil, traditionally represented as horned, and a not uncommon English surname which occurs in the rhyme ‘Little Jack Horner’. But Horner’s Christian name is Harry (I.i.247), again associated with both womanisers (see V.iv.161, note) and the Title-page from the copy in Cambridge University Library, in the H.F.B. Brett-Smith collection, Devil (‘Old Harry’). reproduced by permission of the Syndics of Cambridge University Library. harcourt: suggests an English gentleman; perhaps derived from place names in Shropshire. Indignior some copies of Q1 (Indignor other copies, Q2–5, O). Indignor is correct. His Christian name is Frank (II.i.166 and elsewhere) and it may be significant that his rival Sparkish falsely claims frankness as a virtue. Motto Horace, Epistles 2.1.76–8. Dryden quoted the first two lines in his Of Dramatick Poesie dorilant: suggests jeunesse dorée; perhaps derived from Dorante, a common name for such (1668) and mentioned Terence’s The Eunuch as a play by an ancient writer which is not characters in contemporary French drama, and a source for the name Dorimant, the rake- faultless. As The Eunuch is one of his sources, Wycherley could be implying specifically that it hero of The Man of Mode. Dorilant’s Christian name is Dick (I.i.251). deserved only indulgence (veniam), while his own play deserved honour and rewards (honorem pinchwife: one who restricts his wife’s freedom; she expects him to ‘pinch’ her (IV.iii.266). & praemia); or he could be thinking generally of ancient writers. Pope’s version in the His Christian name is Jack (I.i.315). Imitations of Horace is: sparkish: a bit of a ‘spark’, a young man who affects smartness in dress and manners. The only I lose my patience, and I own it too, major character whose Christian name is not given. When works are censured, not as bad, but new; jaspar fidget: name with various associations. Jaspar derives from Caspar, ‘keeper of the While if our elders break all reason’s laws, treasure’, one of the three Magi; its association with villains belongs to Victorian melo- These fools demand not pardon, but applause. (Epistle 2.1.115–18) drama. Fidget suggests a busybody; in Love in a Wood ‘a politic wit’ is defined as ‘a

2 3 the country wife

prologue fidgeting, busy, dogmatical, hot-headed ’ (II.i.261), and Sir Jaspar’s ‘business’ is political rather than commercial (see I.i.98–9) and notes. margery: perhaps already suggested a sluttish country girl, like Margery Daw; see Iona and Peter Opie, Oxford Dictionary of Nursery Rhymes (1977) p. 298. In Spoken by Mr Hart Old Gobbo, a rustic, has a wife called Margery (II.ii.85–6). alithea: derived from the Greek word for ‘truth’; a fashionable name in the seventeenth century. Poets, like cudgelled bullies, never do dainty: fastidious (OED a.5); not a true Christian name. At first or second blow submit to you; squeamish: prudish (OED 7). Mrs Squeamish’s Christian name may be Bridget (IV.iii.161 But will provoke you still and ne’er have done, and note). Till you are weary first with laying on. quack: boastful pretender to knowledge, especially in medicine. lucy: derived from the Latin word for ‘light’. The late so baffled scribbler of this day, 5 . Though he stands trembling, bids me boldly say, Players. What we before most plays are used to do, Hart, Charles (c. 1630–83), a sharer in the King’s Company and a leading actor, famous for For poets out of fear first draw on you; heroic roles, including Almanzor in Dryden’s Conquest of Granada and several Shake - spearean tragic figures. His comic roles had included Mosca in Volpone and Ranger in Love In a fierce prologue the still pit defy, in a Wood, and he had been the lover of both and Lady Castlemaine. And, ere you speak, like Castril give the lie. 10 Kynaston, Edward (1643–1712), a leading actor, was originally famous for women’s roles, later But though our Bayeses’ battles oft I’ve fought, for romantic heroes, including Valentine in Love in a Wood. And with bruised knuckles their dear conquests bought; Lydall or Lidell, Edward (fl. 1655–77), a regular actor who did not often take major roles. Nay, never yet feared odds upon the stage, Mohun, Michael (1616?–84), a sharer in the King’s Company and a leading actor, whose roles had included villains and rogues: Cassius in Julius Caesar, Iago, Volpone, Face in The In prologue dare not hector with the age, Alchemist and Dapperwit in Love in a Wood. But would take quarter from your saving hands, 15 Haines, Joseph (1648?–1701), a young comedian, already famous for eccentricity both on and Though Bayes within all yielding countermands, off the stage. See Kenneth M. Cameron, ‘Jo Haynes, Infamis’, Theatre Notebook vol. 24 Says you confederate wits no quarter give, (1969–70), 56–67. Cartwright, William (c. 1604–86), a sharer in the King’s Company and a leading comedian, Therefore his play shan’t ask your leave to live. whose roles had included Falstaff, Corbaccio in Volpone and Sir Epicure Mammon in The Well, let the vain rash fop, by huffing so, Alchemist. Think to obtain the better terms of you; 20 Boutell or Bowtell, Mrs Barnaby, née Elizabeth Davenport (c. 1649–1715), a versatile and But we, the actors, humbly will submit, popular actress who had played major roles in heroic plays and tragedies and breeches Now, and at any time, to a full pit; roles in comedies and farces. She was small and pretty and ‘generally acted the young innocent lady whom all the heroes are mad in love with; she was a favourite of the town’. Nay, often we anticipate your rage, See Judith Milhous, ‘Elizabeth Bowtell and Elizabeth Davenport: Some Problems Solved’, Theatre Notebook vol. 39 (1985), 124–34. James, Elizabeth (fl. 1669–1703?), took mainly minor roles, including Isabel in Love in a Wood. 1 bullies London street ruffians. Knepp, Mrs Christopher, née Elizabeth Carpenter (fl. 1659–81), famous as both actress and 4 laying on inflicting blows. singer; her comic roles had included Lady Flippant in Love in a Wood. See Robert Latham 5 late so baffled scribbler Wycherley himself; either because The Gentleman Dancing- (ed.), The Diary of , vol. 10 (Bell and Hyman, 1983), pp. 215–16. Master (1672) had not succeeded on the stage, or because The Plain Dealer, which Corbet, Mary (fl. 1670?–82?), took mainly minor roles. may have already been written, had not yet been staged. Wyatt, Mrs, otherwise unknown. 10 Castril the ‘angry boy’ in Jonson’s The Alchemist, who accuses Subtle of lying almost Rutter, Margaret (fl. 1661–c. 1680), took mainly minor roles, including Emilia in Othello and before he speaks (IV.ii.19). Mrs Crossbite in Love in a Wood, ‘an old cheating jilt, and bawd to her daughter’. 11 our Bayeses’ battles our poets’ battles generally, though the speaker had played heroic Shatterell, Robert (born c. 1615?), a senior member of the King’s Company, played mainly parts in Dryden’s tragedies, and the name Bayes was associated especially with Dryden. character parts such as Voltore in Volpone and Poins in Henry IV, Part I. See l. 16 below. Corey, Mrs John, née Katherine Mitchell (born c. 1635), one of the first English actresses and 14 hector with the age attack contemporary taste. women members of the King’s Company, who often played comic servants and bawds. 16 Bayes within Wycherley behind the scenes. Her roles had included Doll Common in The Alchemist, Lady Would-be in Volpone and 17 confederate conspiring (to damn the play). Mrs Joyner in Love in a Wood. 19 huffing blustering.

4 5 the country wife

And murder poets for you on our stage. act i, scene i We set no guards upon our tiring-room, 25 But when with flying colours there you come, We patiently, you see, give up to you Our poets, virgins, nay, our matrons too. Enter horner, and quack following him at a distance horner (Aside) A quack is as fit for a pimp as a midwife for a bawd; they are still but in their way both helpers of nature. – Well, my dear doctor, hast thou done what I desired? quack I have undone you for ever with the women, and reported you throughout the whole town as bad as an eunuch, with as much 5 trouble as if I had made you one in earnest. horner But have you told all the midwives you know, the orange wenches at the playhouses, the city husbands, and old fumbling keepers of this end of the town? For they’ll be the readiest to report it. quack I have told all the chamber-maids, waiting-women, tire-women 10 and old women of my acquaintance; nay, and whispered it as a secret to ’em, and to the whisperers of Whitehall. So that you need not doubt ’twill spread, and you will be as odious to the handsome young women as – horner As the smallpox. Well – 15 quack And to the married women of this end of the town as – horner As the great ones; nay, as their own husbands.

2 still always. 7 orange wenches sellers of oranges and other refreshments. 8 city husbands men who will be glad to hear of Horner’s impotence and, according to a convention of Restoration comedy, easily cuckolded. There was hostility between citizens and courtiers, the citizens accusing the courtiers of immorality, and the courtiers accusing the citizens of hypocrisy. 8–9 old fumbling keepers of this end of the town incompetent keepers of mistresses living in the fashionable part of the town. From I.i.262–75 we gather that Horner lives in Russell Street, Covent Garden. 10 tire-women ladies’ maids, or dressmakers. 12 Whitehall the public rooms at the King’s palace, where gossip flourished. 25 tiring-room dressing room. 17 the great ones syphilis; the great pox, or syphilis, as opposed to the small ones, or 27–8 See II.i.323–5 and note. smallpox. Pox is the plural of pock.

6 7 the country wife act i scene i quack wealthiest man conceals his riches, and the cunning gamester And to the city dames as Aniseed Robin of filthy and contempt - his play. Shy husbands and keepers, like old rooks, are not to be ible memory; and they will frighten their children with your cheated but by a new unpractised trick. False friendship will name, especially their females. 20 pass now no more than false dice upon ’em; no, not in the city. 45 horner Enter boy And cry, ‘Horner’s coming to carry you away!’ I am only afraid ’twill not be believed. You told ’em ’twas by an English-French disaster, boy and an English-French surgeon, who has given me at once not only There are two ladies and a gentleman coming up. [Exit boy] a cure but an antidote for the future against that damned malady, horner and that worse distemper, love, and all other women’s evils? 25 A pox! Some unbelieving sisters of my former acquaintance quack who, I am afraid, expect their sense should be satisfied of the Your late journey into France has made it the more credible, and falsity of the report. your being here a fortnight before you appeared in public looks Enter sir jaspar, lady fidget and mrs dainty fidget as if you apprehended the shame; which I wonder you do not. Well, I have been hired by young gallants to belie ’em t’other way, No; this formal fool and women! 50 but you are the first would be thought a man unfit for women. 30 quack horner His wife and sister. Dear Master Doctor, let vain rogues be contented only to be sir jaspar thought abler men than they are, generally ’tis all the pleasure My coach breaking just now before your door sir, I look upon as they have; but mine lies another way. an occasional reprimand to me sir, for not kissing your hands quack sir, since your coming out of France sir; and so my disaster sir, You take, methinks, a very preposterous way to it, and as ridicu - has been my good fortune sir; and this is my wife, and sister sir. 55 lous as if we operators in physic should put forth bills to dis - 35 horner parage our medicaments, with hopes to gain customers. What then, sir? horner sir jaspar Doctor, there are quacks in love, as well as physic, who get but My lady, and sister, sir. – Wife, this is Master Horner. the fewer and worse patients for their boasting. A good name is lady fidget seldom got by giving it oneself, and women no more than honour Master Horner, husband! are compassed by bragging. Come, come, doctor, the wisest 40 sir jaspar lawyer never discovers the merits of his cause till the trial. The My lady, my Lady Fidget, sir.

18 Aniseed Robin well-known hermaphrodite who sold aniseed water (a carminative) on the London streets; said to have been both a father and a mother (Charles Cotton, 43 rooks tricksters. See also I.i.229–30. Poems, ed. John Beresford, p. 288). 45 pass . . . upon impose upon; not in the city not even among the citizens. 22–3 English-French disaster, and an English-French surgeon Could mean pox, caught with 47 sisters disguised prostitutes (Farmer and Henley). the aid of an English bawd, and operated on by a surgeon specialising in venereal 50 formal ceremonious. disease; everything to do with pox could be loosely associated with France. This 52–70 Horner mocks Sir Jaspar’s repetition of ‘sir’. I have followed Q1 in omitting commas interpretation is supported by Horner’s remark at V.iv.52. But as I.i. emphasises that before ‘sir’ in Sir Jaspar’s speeches at ll. 52–5 and 61, and in inserting them before it Horner has been in France, Lady Fidget thinks the disaster and/or operation has in Horner’s speeches; as Peter Malekin says, Q1 hints at how the scene was or should taken place there; see II.i.507–9. be played (‘Wycherley’s Dramatic Skills and the Interpretation of The Country Wife’, 23–4 not only a cure but an antidote because the story is that the surgeon has made him a Durham University Journal, vol. 61 (1969), 32–40). But elsewhere the omission of eunuch. commas before ‘sir’ does not seem significant, and I have followed modern practice 40 compassed won. in inserting them. 41 discovers reveals. 53 occasional timely.

8 9 the country wife act i scene i horner postures, nor the second part of the École des Filles,nor – 80 So, sir. 60 quack (Apart to horner) sir jaspar Hold for shame sir! What d’ye mean? You’ll ruin yourself for Won’t you be acquainted with her sir? (Aside) So, the report is ever with the sex – true, I find, by his coldness or aversion to the sex; but I’ll play sir jaspar the wag with him. – Pray salute my wife, my lady, sir. Ha, ha, ha! He hates women perfectly, I find. horner dainty I will kiss no man’s wife, sir, for him, sir; I have taken my eternal What pity ’tis he should. leave, sir, of the sex already, sir. 65 lady fidget sir jaspar (Aside) Ay, he’s a base rude fellow for’t; but affectation makes not a 85 Ha, ha, ha! I’ll plague him yet. – Not know my wife, sir? woman more odious to them than virtue. horner horner I do know your wife, sir, she’s a woman, sir, and consequently a Because your virtue is your greatest affectation, madam. monster, sir, a greater monster than a husband, sir. lady fidget sir jaspar How, you saucy fellow! Would you wrong my honour? A husband! How, sir? horner horner (Makes horns) If I could. So, sir. But I make no more cuckolds, sir. 70 lady fidget sir jaspar How d’ye mean, sir? 90 Ha, ha, ha! Mercury, Mercury! sir jaspar lady fidget Ha, ha, ha! No, he can’t wrong your ladyship’s honour, upon my Pray, Sir Jaspar, let us be gone from this rude fellow. honour! He, poor man – hark you in your ear – a mere eunuch. dainty lady fidget Who, by his breeding, would think he had ever been in France? O filthy French beast! foh, foh! Why do we stay? Let’s be gone. lady fidget I can’t endure the sight of him. Foh! he’s but too much a French fellow, such as hate women of sir jaspar quality and virtue for their love to their husbands, Sir Jaspar. 75 Stay but till the chairs come. They’ll be here presently. 95 A woman is hated by ’em as much for loving her husband as for lady fidget loving their money. But pray let’s be gone. No, no. horner sir jaspar You do well, madam, for I have nothing that you came for. Nor can I stay longer. ’Tis – let me see – a quarter and a half I have brought over not so much as a bawdy picture, new quarter of a minute past eleven. The Council will be sat, I must away. Business must be preferred always before love and ceremony with the wise, Master Horner. 100 62–3 play the wag with him have a joke at his expense. See also IV.iii.135–6. 70 sd horns sign of a cuckold, made by holding the fists at the temples, and extending 80 postures erotic engravings used to illustrate pornographic books. the index fingers; cuckolds husbands of adulterous wives. For obvious reasons École des Filles (1668), ‘the most bawdy, lewd book that ever I saw . . . so that I was adulterers were known as cuckoos, and their victims came to be called cuckolds, but ashamed of reading it (Pepys, Diary, 16 January 1668). it is not clear why cuckolds were supposed to have horns. 88 How What. 71 Mercury god associated with wit. Also, substance used to treat venereal disease; but 95 chairs sedan chairs. perhaps Horner making horns reminds Sir Jaspar of representations of Mercury presently at once. with a winged hat. 98 Council Privy Council. 74 French fellow fop. 99 Business at court, not in the City.

10 11 the country wife act i scene i horner quack And the impotent, Sir Jaspar. Nay, by this means you may be the more acquainted with the sir jaspar husbands, but the less with the wives. 125 Ay, ay, the impotent, Master Horner, ha, ha, ha! horner lady fidget Let me alone; if I can but abuse the husbands, I’ll soon disabuse What, leave us with a filthy man alone in his lodgings? the wives. Stay; I’ll reckon you up the advantages I am like to sir jaspar have by my stratagem. First, I shall be rid of all my old acquain - He’s an innocent man now, you know. Pray stay, I’ll hasten the tances, the most insatiable sorts of duns, that invade our chairs to you. Master Horner, your servant; I should be glad to see 105 lodgings in a morning. And next to the pleasure of making a 130 you at my house. Pray come and dine with me, and play at cards new mistress is that of being rid of an old one, and of all old with my wife after dinner; you are fit for women at that game yet, debts; love, when it comes to be so, is paid the most unwillingly. ha, ha! (Aside) ’Tis as much a husband’s prudence to provide inno- quack cent diversion for a wife as to hinder her unlawful pleasures; and Well, you may be so rid of your old acquaintances, but how will he had better employ her, than let her employ herself. – Farewell. 110 you get any new ones? Exit sir jaspar horner horner Doctor, thou wilt never make a good chemist, thou art so 135 Your servant, Sir Jaspar. incredulous and impatient. Ask but all the young fellows of the lady fidget town, if they do not lose more time, like huntsmen, in starting the I will not stay with him, foh! game, than in running it down. One knows not where to find horner ’em who will, or will not. Women of quality are so civil, you can Nay, madam, I beseech you stay, if it be but to see I can be as hardly distinguish love from good breeding, and a man is often 140 civil to ladies yet as they would desire. mistaken. But now I can be sure she that shows an aversion to lady fidget me loves the sport; as those women that are gone, whom I No, no, foh! You cannot be civil to ladies. 115 warrant to be right. And then the next thing is, your women of dainty honour, as you call ’em, are only chary of their reputations, not You as civil as ladies would desire? their persons, and ’tis scandal they would avoid, not men. Now 145 lady fidget may I have, by the reputation of an eunuch, the privileges of No, no, no! foh, foh, foh! Exeunt lady fidget and dainty one; and be seen in a lady’s chamber in a morning as early as quack her husband; kiss virgins before their parents or lovers; and Now I think, I, or you yourself rather, have done your business may be, in short, the passe-partout of the town. Now doctor? with the women. horner 126 abuse deceive. The word probably has modern sense at I.i.233. 129 duns importunate creditors; apparently referring to I.i.47–8. Thou art an ass. Don’t you see already, upon the report and my 120 130 next Q2–5, O (next, Q1). The Q1 comma suggests Horner is counting his advan- carriage, this grave man of business leaves his wife in my tages, ‘first’ one ‘and next’ another. But he actually says ‘next to’ the pleasure of taking lodgings, invites me to his house and wife, who before would a mistress is that of discarding one; so I have discarded the comma. Markley suggests that Horner, unable to count many advantages, changes his mind about what he is not be acquainted with me out of jealousy? saying. 110 employ keep busy. 132 so, i.e. an old debt. 114, 15 civil probably with a sexual connotation: ‘You are both very civil gentlemen – and 135 chemist alchemist. In Jonson’s The Alchemist the clients’ incredulity and impatience my wife, there, is a very civil gentlewoman; therefore I don’t doubt but many civil are supposed to harm the alchemical process. things have passed between you’ (Vanbrugh, The Provoked Wife, ed. James L. Smith, 136–41 The problem is to distinguish the game from other creatures. V.ii.83–5). 143 right ready for the sport, ‘game’. See The Gentleman Dancing-Master III.i.530, and the 118 done your business you 121 carriage conduct. note in Friedman, p. 189. 149 passe-partout person having leave to go anywhere.

12 13 the country wife act i scene i quack dorilant Nay, now you shall be the doctor. And your process is so new 150 Nay, I dare swear, they won’t admit you to play at cards with 170 that we do not know but it may succeed. them, go to plays with ’em, or do the little duties which other horner shadows of men are wont to do for ’em. Not so new neither. Probatum est,doctor. horner quack Who do you call shadows of men? Well, I wish you luck and many patients whilst I go to mine. dorilant Exit quack Half-men. horner Enter harcourt and dorilant to horner What, boys? 175 harcourt dorilant Come, your appearance at the play yesterday has, I hope, Ay, your old boys, old beaux garçons, who like superannuated hardened you for the future against the women’s contempt and 155 stallions are suffered to run, feed, and whinny with the mares as the men’s raillery, and now you’ll abroad , as you were wont. long as they live, though they can do nothing else. horner horner Did I not bear it bravely? Well, a pox on love and wenching! Women serve but to keep a dorilant man from better company. Though I can’t enjoy them, I shall 180 With a most theatrical impudence! Nay, more than the you the more. Good fellowship and friendship are lasting, orange-wenches show there, or a drunken vizard-mask, or rational, and manly pleasures. a great-bellied actress. Nay, or the most impudent of 160 harcourt creatures, an ill poet. Or, what is yet more impudent, a second- For all that, give me some of those pleasures you call effeminate hand critic. too. They help to relish one another. horner horner But what say the ladies? Have they no pity? They disturb one another. 185 harcourt harcourt What ladies? The vizard-masks, you know, never pity a man No, mistresses are like books; if you pore upon them too much when all’s gone, though in their service. 165 they doze you and make you unfit for company, but if used dorilant discreetly you are the fitter for conversation by ’em. And for the women in the boxes, you’d never pity them when dorilant ’twas in your power. A mistress should be like a little country retreat near the town; harcourt not to dwell in constantly, but only for a night and away, to taste 190 They say ’tis pity, but all that deal with common women should the town the better when a man returns. be served so. horner I tell you, ’tis as hard to be a good fellow, a good friend, and a 150 doctor alchemist; process alchemical experiment. lover of women, as ’tis to be a good fellow, a good friend, and 152 Probatum est proved or tested; phrase written on prescriptions. Horner apparently a lover of money. You cannot follow both, then choose your means that in the sex game nothing is wholly new. Wycherley possibly hints at his side: wine gives you liberty, love takes it away. 195 own borrowing from Terence. 159 vizard-mask (here) prostitute. Just after the Restoration, masks had been fashionable 176 beaux garçons . wear, but by this time they had become professional gear. 187 doze make drowsy or dull. 165 all sexual potency or money. 188 conversation intercourse; double entendre. See also II.i.507 and III.ii.16. 166 women in the boxes ‘persons of the best quality, among whom are generally very few 189 country sexual; having a cunt; common double entendres. See Partridge; and Marie men’ occupied the boxes. Collins, ‘Hamlet and the Lady’s Lap’, Notes and Queries, vol. 28 (1981), 130–2.

14 15 the country wife act i scene i dorilant I shall lose his acquaintance, because he cannot drink. And you Gad, he’s in the right on’t. know ’tis a very hard thing to be rid of him, for he’s one of 215 horner those nauseous offerers at wit, who, like the worst fiddlers, run Wine gives you joy; love, grief and tortures, besides the themselves into all companies. surgeon’s. Wine makes us witty; love, only sots. Wine makes us harcourt sleep; love breaks it. One that by being in the company of men of sense would pass dorilant for one. By the world, he has reason, Harcourt. 200 horner horner And may so to the short-sighted world, as a false jewel amongst 220 Wine makes – true ones is not discerned at a distance. His company is as trouble- dorilant some to us as a cuckold’s when you have a mind to his wife’s. Ay wine makes us – makes us princes; love makes us beggars, harcourt poor rogues, i’gad – and wine – No, the rogue will not let us enjoy one another, but ravishes our horner conversation, though he signifies no more to’t than Sir Martin So there’s one converted. No, no, love and wine, oil and vinegar. Mar-all’s gaping and awkward thrumming upon the lute does 225 harcourt to his man’s voice and music. I grant it; love will still be uppermost. 205 dorilant horner And to pass for a wit in town shows himself a fool every night Come, for my part I will have only those glorious, manly to us, that are guilty of the plot. pleasures of being very drunk and very slovenly. horner Such wits as he are, to a company of reasonable men, like rooks Enter boy to the gamesters, who only fill a room at the table, but are so far 230 boy from contributing to the play that they only serve to spoil the Master Sparkish is below, sir. [Exit boy] fancy of those that do. harcourt dorilant What, my dear friend! A rogue that is fond of me, only I think Nay, they are used like rooks too, snubbed, checked, and for abusing him. 210 abused; yet the rogues will hang on. dorilant horner No, he can no more think the men laugh at him than that A pox on ’em, and all that force nature, and would be still what 235 women jilt him, his opinion of himself is so good. she forbids ’em! Affectation is her greatest monster. horner Well, there’s another pleasure by drinking I thought not of; 214 he cannot drink like Dapperwit, the would-be wit in Love in a Wood. Vincent tries to make him drink because ‘there is no other way to silence him’ (I.ii.16–17). 220 short-sighted Q2–5, O (short-sighed Q1). 197–8 tortures, besides the surgeon’s. Wine ed. (tortures; besides the Chirurgeon’s Wine 224–5 Sir Martin Mar-all hero of Dryden’s The Feigned Innocence; or, Sir Martin Mar-all Q1–5, O). The emended punctuation is supported by Wycherley’s Plays (1720 and (1667), who serenades his mistress in mime while his hidden servant sings and plays 1731 editions). Markley suggests that besides the surgeons is an afterthought suggested the lute. As usual Sir Martin mars all by continuing after his servant has finished. by Dorilant and Harcourt’s laughter. 228 us, that are guilty of the plot those of us who have conspired to encourage him. 200 he has reason This translates il a raison, he is right. Perhaps Dorilant, as his name 229 rooks victims of tricksters. See also I.i.43. suggests, is French or frenchified. In Dryden’s Sir Martin Mar-all, Moody, a lover of 230 room place. ‘the true old English manliness’, considers ‘you have reason’ a deplorable ‘town 232 fancy pleasure. phrase’ (III.i.62). 233 checked taunted. 210 abusing See I.i.126. 235 would be still persist in trying to be.

16 17 the country wife act i scene i harcourt follows. You must know, I was discoursing and rallying with Most men are the contraries to that they would seem. Your some ladies yesterday, and they happened to talk of the fine bully, you see, is a coward with a long sword; the little, humbly new signs in town. 260 fawning physician with his ebony cane is he that destroys men. horner dorilant Very fine ladies, I believe. The usurer, a poor rogue possessed of mouldy bonds and mort- 240 sparkish gages; and we they call spendthrifts are only wealthy, who lay Said I, ‘I know where the best new sign is’. ‘Where?’ says one of the out his money upon daily new purchases of pleasure. ladies. ‘In Covent Garden’, I replied. Said another, ‘In what street?’ horner ‘In Russell Street’, answered I. ‘Lord’, says another, ‘I’m sure there Ay, your arrantest cheat is your trustee or executor; your jealous was ne’er a fine new sign there yesterday’. ‘Yes, but there was’, said 265 man, the greatest cuckold; your churchman, the greatest atheist; I again, ‘and it came out of France, and has been there a fortnight’. and your noisy, pert rogue of a wit, the greatest fop, dullest ass, 245 dorilant and worst company; as you shall see, for here he comes. A pox! I can hear no more, prithee. horner Enter sparkish to them No, hear him out; let him tune his crowd a while. sparkish harcourt How is’t, sparks, how is’t? Well, faith, Harry, I must rally thee a The worst music, the greatest preparation. little, ha, ha, ha! upon the report in town of thee, ha, ha, ha! I sparkish can’t hold i’faith! Shall I speak? Nay, faith, I’ll make you laugh. ‘It cannot be’, says a third lady. 270 horner ‘Yes, yes’, quoth I again. Says a fourth lady – Yes, but you’ll be so bitter then. 250 horner sparkish Look to’t, we’ll have no more ladies. Honest Dick and Frank here shall answer for me, I will not be sparkish extreme bitter, by the universe. No – then mark, mark, now. Said I to the fourth, ‘Did you never harcourt see Master Horner? He lodges in Russell Street, and he’s a sign We will be bound in ten thousand pound bond, he shall not be of a man, you know, since he came out of France!’ He, ha, he! 275 bitter at all. horner dorilant But the devil take me, if thine be the sign of a jest. Nor sharp, nor sweet. 255 sparkish horner With that they all fell a-laughing, till they bepissed themselves. What, not downright insipid? What, but it does not move you, methinks? Well, I see one had sparkish as good go to law without a witness, as break a jest without a Nay then, since you are so brisk and provoke me, take what 260 signs tradesmen’s signs or symbols. See III.ii.173. 239 ebony cane usually carried by physicians at the time. 263 Covent Garden then a fashionable part of London, with some well-known taverns 241 are only are the only ones who are. and coffee houses. 243–4 your jealous man, the greatest cuckold explained by Horner at III.ii.49–51. 264 Russell Street off the east side of Covent Garden. 247 sparks young men about town; usually depreciatory. See note on Sparkish, p. 4. 266 again in reply. rally make fun of; a fashionable word. See II.i.139 and note. 268 crowd fiddle; perhaps a quibble on the more familiar sense, as Sparkish seems to 252 extreme extremely. know a lot of ladies. 257 brisk smart; depreciatory. In Etherege’s The Man of Mode (1676) Sir Fopling Flutter 274 sign mere semblance. is ‘the gay, the giddy, brisk, insipid, noisy fool’ (V.i.95–6); in Pilgrim’s Progress (1678) 278 I Q3, O (omitted, Q1–2, 4–5). Ignorance is ‘a very brisk lad’ from ‘the country of Conceit’. 278–80 i.e., a joke needs someone to laugh at it, as a lawsuit needs a witness.

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laugher on one’s side. Come, come sparks, but where do we 280 dinner as a glass of good wine, and that’s the reason I never have dine? I have left at Whitehall an earl, to dine with you. any stomach when I eat alone. Come, but where do we dine? 300 dorilant horner Why, I thought thou hadst loved a man with a title better than Even where you will. a suit with a French trimming to’t. sparkish harcourt At Chateline’s? Go to him again. dorilant sparkish Yes, if you will. No, sir, a wit to me is the greatest title in the world. 285 sparkish horner Or at the Cock? But go dine with your earl, sir; he may be exceptious. We are dorilant your friends, and will not take it ill to be left, I do assure you. Yes, if you please. 305 harcourt sparkish Nay, faith, he shall go to him. Or at the Dog and Partridge? sparkish horner Nay, pray, gentlemen. Ay, if you have a mind to’t, for we shall dine at neither. dorilant sparkish We’ll thrust you out, if you won’t. What, disappoint anybody 290 Pshaw! with your fooling we shall lose the new play. And I for us? would no more miss seeing a new play the first day than I sparkish would miss sitting in the wits’ row. Therefore I’ll go fetch my 310 Nay, dear gentlemen, hear me. mistress and away. Exit sparkish horner Manent horner, harcourt, dorilant. Enter to them No, no sir, by no means; pray go, sir. pinchwife sparkish Why, dear rogues – horner dorilant Who have we here? Pinchwife! No, no. They all thrust him out of the room 295 pinchwife all Gentlemen, your humble servant. Ha, ha, ha! horner Well, Jack, by thy long absence from the town, the grumness of sparkish returns sparkish 300 stomach appetite. 302 Chateline’s French restaurant in Covent Garden. But, sparks, pray hear me. What, d’ye think I’ll eat, then, with 304 the Cock probably the tavern in Bow Street, Covent Garden. Wycherley went there, gay shallow fops and silent coxcombs? I think wit as necessary at and set The Plain Dealer V.ii there. 306 the Dog and Partridge tavern in Fleet Street; probably the least acceptable of Sparkish’s suggestions. 307 a mind Q2–5, O (mind Q1). 283 suit with a French trimming fashionable suit; unlikely to refer also to Horner’s neither none of them (OED B. 2.c). supposed impotence, as Dorilant is supporting him against Sparkish. 310 sitting Q3 (setting Q1–2, 4–5, O). 284 Go to him again Q2–5, O (Go, to him again Q1). Holland defends Q1 as meaning the wits’ row with other wits, in the pit. Harcourt urges Dorilant to tease Sparkish further; but if so Dorilant ignores him, 311 sd Manent Remain. and Harcourt again urges Sparkish to return to the Earl in his next speech. 314 grumness moroseness. Don Diego, in The Gentleman Dancing Master, boasts of being 286 exceptious peevish. ‘gram, and jealous’ (II.i.36).

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thy countenance, and the slovenliness of thy habit, I should give 315 the breed there, know what her keeping has been, whether foiled 335 thee joy, should I not, of marriage? or unsound. pinchwife (Aside) horner Death! does he know I’m married too? I thought to have Come, come, I have known a clap gotten in Wales. And there concealed it from him at least. – My long stay in the country are cozens, justices, clerks, and chaplains in the country; I won’t will excuse my dress, and I have a suit of law, that brings me up say coachmen! But she’s handsome and young? to town, that puts me out of humour. Besides, I must give 320 pinchwife (Aside) Sparkish tomorrow five thousand pound to lie with my sister. I’ll answer as I should do. – No, no, she has no beauty but her 340 horner youth; no attraction but her modesty; wholesome, homely, and Nay, you country gentlemen, rather than not purchase, will buy housewifely, that’s all. anything; and he is a cracked title, if we may quibble. Well, but dorilant am I to give thee joy? I heard thou wert married. He talks as like a grazier as he looks. pinchwife pinchwife What then? 325 She’s too awkward, ill-favoured, and silly to bring to town. horner horner Why, the next thing that is to be heard is, thou’rt a cuckold. Then methinks you should bring her, to be taught breeding. 345 pinchwife (Aside) pinchwife Insupportable name! To be taught! No, sir, I thank you. Good wives and private horner soldiers should be ignorant. [Aside] I’ll keep her from your But I did not expect marriage from such a whoremaster as you, instructions, I warrant you. one that knew the town so much, and women so well. harcourt (Aside) pinchwife The rogue is as jealous as if his wife were not ignorant. Why, I have married no London wife. 330 horner 335 keeping how she has been kept; double entendre. See I.i.404 and note. Pshaw! that’s all one. That grave circumspection in marrying a foiled both injured (horse) and deflowered (woman). country wife is like refusing a deceitful, pampered Smithfield 336 unsound diseased. jade, to go and be cheated by a friend in the country. 337 clap gonorrhoea. pinchwife (Aside) Wales to Londoners a remote part of the country. 338 cozens cozeners, cheaters; needlessly altered to ‘cousins’ by some editors. Horner has A pox on him and his simile! – At least we are a little surer of mentioned cheating at l. 333. justices, clerks, Q1 (justices clerks, Q2–5, O). Q1 adds one to Horner’s list of suppos - edly respectable people who spread venereal disease. 339 coachmen legendary studs. Dapperwit regards Lady Flippant’s coachman as his rival (Love in a Wood I.ii.232–3); Mrs Caution is accused of having fancied her father’s 321 five thousand pound as a dowry. Pinchwife must be wealthy. coachman (The Gentleman Dancing-Master I.i.319). 322 purchase acquire land or property by purchase. 340 as I should do perhaps ‘as you would expect; we expect lies’. This was altered in Lee’s 323 a cracked title a property in a poor state of repair, or bankrupt, or (as applied to The Country Wife to ‘I’ll answer him accordingly’ and cut in Garrick’s The Country Sparkish) ‘cracked’. He is a bad buy. Girl. 328 whoremaster experienced lecher. 343 grazier one who fattens cattle for the market. 329 one that knew the town so much Horner ridicules Pinchwife’s claim before he has 344 silly ignorant. even made it; see ll. 283–4, 403. Later, Dorilant ridicules it too; see l. 419. 345 sp. horner (Har. Q1–5, O). But the Q1 reading could be a printer’s error for Hor., 332 Smithfield horse market with reputation for sharp practice: ‘This town two bargains i.e., Horner; Pinchwife’s next aside refers to Horner rather than Harcourt. has, not worth one farthing, / A Smithfield horse, and a wife of Covent-Garden’ breeding gentility and, probably, pregnancy. (Dryden, The Kind Keeper (1680), Epilogue). 349 sd (Aside) Q1–5, O. But the line need not be spoken aside, so perhaps the sd is meant 333 jade both worn-out horse and disreputable woman. for Pinchwife’s aside at ll. 347–80.

22 23 the country wife act i scene i horner pinchwife Why, if she be ill-favoured, there will be less danger here for you 350 A fool cannot contrive to make her husband a cuckold. than by leaving her in the country. We have such variety of horner dainties that we are seldom hungry. No, but she’ll club with a man that can; and what is worse, if she dorilant cannot make her husband a cuckold, she’ll make him jealous, But they have always coarse, constant, swingeing stomachs in and pass for one, and then ’tis all one. 380 the country. pinchwife harcourt Well, well, I’ll take care for one, my wife shall make me no Foul feeders indeed. 355 cuckold, though she had your help, Master Horner; I under - dorilant stand the town, sir. And your hospitality is great there. dorilant (Aside) harcourt His help! Open house, every man’s welcome! harcourt (Aside) pinchwife He’s come newly to town, it seems, and has not heard how 385 So, so, gentlemen. things are with him. horner horner But, prithee, why would’st thou marry her? If she be ugly, ill- But tell me, has marriage cured thee of whoring, which it seldom bred, and silly, she must be rich then? 360 does? pinchwife harcourt As rich as if she brought me twenty thousand pound out of this ’Tis more than age can do. town; for she’ll be as sure not to spend her moderate portion as horner a London baggage would be to spend hers, let it be what it No, the word is, I’ll marry and live honest. But a marriage vow 390 would; so ’tis all one. Then, because she’s ugly, she’s the likelier is like a penitent gamester’s oath, and entering into bonds and to be my own; and being ill-bred, she’ll hate conversation; and 365 penalties to stint himself to such a particular small sum at play since silly and innocent, will not know the difference betwixt a for the future, which makes him but the more eager, and man of one-and-twenty and one of forty. not being able to hold out, loses his money again, and his forfeit horner to boot. 395 Nine – to my knowledge; but if she be silly, she’ll expect as dorilant much from a man of forty-nine as from him of one-and- Ay, ay, a gamester will be a gamester whilst his money lasts, and twenty. But methinks wit is more necessary than beauty; and I 370 a whoremaster, whilst his vigour. think no young woman ugly that has it, and no handsome harcourt woman agreeable without it. Nay, I have known ’em, when they are broke and can lose no pinchwife ’Tis my maxim, he’s a fool that marries, but he’s a greater that does not marry a fool. What is wit in a wife good for, but to make a man a cuckold? 375 378 club get together. horner 390 word usual saying. honest chaste. Yes, to keep it from his knowledge. 392 such such and such. play gambling. 394 hold out keep to his plan. 353 swingeing stomachs huge appetites. forfeit payment under the ‘bonds and penalties’. 364 ’tis all one it’s as if she had brought me a fortune. 398 broke impecunious and impotent (Dixon).

24 25 the country wife act i scene i

more, keep a-fumbling with the box in their hands to fool with pinchwife (Aside) only, and hinder other gamesters. 400 Hell and damnation! I’m undone, since Horner has seen her, dorilant and they know ’twas she. That had wherewithal to make lusty stakes. horner pinchwife But prithee, was it thy wife? She was exceedingly pretty; I was Well, gentlemen, you may laugh at me, but you shall never lie in love with her at that distance. 425 with my wife; I know the town. pinchwife horner You are like never to be nearer to her. Your servant, gentlemen. But prithee, was not the way you were in better? Is not keeping Offers to go better than marriage? 405 horner pinchwife Nay, prithee stay. A pox on’t! The jades would jilt me; I could never keep a whore pinchwife to myself. I cannot, I will not. horner horner So, then, you only married to keep a whore to yourself. Well, but Come, you shall dine with us. let me tell you, women, as you say, are like soldiers, made constant pinchwife and loyal by good pay rather than by oaths and covenants. There- 410 I have dined already. 430 fore I’d advise my friends to keep rather than marry, since too I horner find, by your example, it does not serve one’s turn; for I saw you Come, I know thou hast not. I’ll treat thee, dear rogue. Thou yesterday in the eighteen-penny place with a pretty country wench! shan’t spend none of thy Hampshire money today. pinchwife (Aside) pinchwife (Aside) How the devil! Did he see my wife then? I sat there that she might Treat me! So, he uses me already like his cuckold! not be seen. But she shall never go to a play again. 415 horner horner Nay, you shall not go. What, dost thou blush at nine-and-forty for having been seen pinchwife with a wench? I must, I have business at home. Exit pinchwife 435 dorilant harcourt No, faith, I warrant ’twas his wife, which he seated there out of To beat his wife! He’s as jealous of her as a Cheapside husband sight, for he’s a cunning rogue, and understands the town. of a Covent Garden wife. harcourt horner He blushes! Then ’twas his wife; for men are now more 420 Why, ’tis as hard to find an old whoremaster without jealousy ashamed to be seen with them in public than with a wench. and the gout, as a young one without fear or the pox.

399 box both receptacle for dice and vagina; noted in Modern Language Review, vol. 82 (1987), 31 by Ian Donaldson, who draws attention to the source in Horace, Satires 2.7.15–18, and to similar ideas in Rochester, ‘The Disabled Debauchee’ (c. 1675). 426 sd Offers attempts. 401 lusty stakes big bets and, probably, erections. Some such double entendre is needed 431 rogue term of endearment as well as abuse. to complete the analogy between a gambler and a lecher, and to explain the wits’ 432 Hampshire the country (antonomasia), or Horner may know Pinchwife now lives laughter. there. See II.i.105. 404 keeping supporting a mistress. See also I.i.335. 433 See IV.iii.247. 413 eighteen-penny place the middle gallery in the theatre, the best place for a man to stop 436 Cheapside husband bourgeois husband. his wife being seen by the gallants in the pit and the boxes. But it was also frequented 437 Covent Garden wife upper class wife, or bourgeois wife who pretends to be upper by prostitutes. class. For Dryden’s opinion of such wives, see I.i.332 note.

26 27 the country wife

As gout in age from pox in youth proceeds, 440 act ii, scene i So wenching past, then jealousy succeeds; The worst disease that love and wenching breeds. [Exeunt] mrs margery pinchwife and alithea; pinchwife peeping behind at the door mrs pinchwife Pray, sister, where are the best fields and woods to walk in, in London? alithea A pretty question! Why, sister, Mulberry Garden and St James’s Park; and for close walks, the New Exchange. mrs pinchwife Pray, sister, tell me why my husband looks so grum here in 5 town, and keeps me up so close, and will not let me go a-walking, nor let me wear my best gown yesterday? alithea Oh, he’s jealous, sister. mrs pinchwife Jealous? What’s that? alithea He’s afraid you should love another man. 10 mrs pinchwife How should he be afraid of my loving another man, when he will not let me see any but himself? alithea Did he not carry you yesterday to a play? mrs pinchwife Ay, but we sat amongst ugly people. He would not let me come near the gentry, who sat under us, so that I could not 15 see ’em. He told me none but naughty women sat there, whom they toused and moused. But I would have ventured for all that.

3–4 Mulberry Garden and St James’s Park fashionable meeting places; settings for scenes in Love in a Wood. The garden was in the park, where Buckingham Palace now stands. 4 close covered. New Exchange arcade with fashionable shops; setting for IILii. 5 grum morose. He makes the same impression on Horner, I.i.314. 6 up so close so closely confined . 13 carry take. 17 toused and moused tousled and mousled, engaged in sexual harrassment (OED mouse v. 3.b; Farmer and Henley, tousle).

28 29 the country wife act ii scene i alithea jill-flirt, a gadder, a magpie, and – to say all – a mere notorious But how did you like the play? town-woman? mrs pinchwife alithea Indeed I was a-weary of the play, but I liked hugeously the 20 Brother, you are my only censurer; and the honour of your actors! They are the goodliest, properest men, sister. family shall sooner suffer in your wife there than in me, though 40 alithea I take the innocent liberty of the town. Oh, but you must not like the actors, sister. pinchwife mrs pinchwife Hark you, mistress, do not talk so before my wife. The innocent Ay, how should I help it, sister? Pray, sister, when my husband liberty of the town! comes in, will you ask leave for me to go a-walking? alithea alithea (Aside) Why, pray, who boasts of any intrigue with me? What lampoon A-walking! Ha, ha! Lord, a country gentlewoman’s leisure is the 25 has made my name notorious? What ill women frequent my 45 drudgery of a foot-post; and she requires as much airing as her lodgings? I keep no company with any women of scandalous husband’s horses. reputations. pinchwife Enter pinchwife to them No, you keep the men of scandalous reputations company. But here comes your husband; I’ll ask, though I’m sure he’ll not alithea grant it. Where? Would you not have me civil? Answer ’em in a box at mrs pinchwife the plays, in the drawing room at Whitehall, in St James’s Park, 50 He says he won’t let me go abroad for fear of catching the pox. 30 Mulberry Garden, or – alithea pinchwife Fie, the smallpox you should say. Hold, hold! Do not teach my wife where the men are to be mrs pinchwife found! I believe she’s the worse for your town documents already. Oh my dear, dear bud, welcome home! Why dost thou look so I bid you keep her in ignorance, as I do. froppish? Who has nangered thee? mrs pinchwife pinchwife Indeed, be not angry with her, bud. She will tell me nothing of 55 You’re a fool! the town though I ask her a thousand times a day. mrs pinchwife goes aside and cries pinchwife alithea Then you are very inquisitive to know, I find! Faith, so she is, for crying for no fault, poor tender creature! 35 mrs pinchwife pinchwife Not I, indeed, dear. I hate London. Our placehouse in the What, you would have her as impudent as yourself, as arrant a country is worth a thousand of’t. Would I were there again! pinchwife So you shall, I warrant. But were you not talking of plays and 60 players when I came in? [To alithea] You are her encourager 20 hugeously ‘terrifically’; vulgarism. in such discourses. 21 properest most handsome. 26 foot-post messenger on foot. 37 jill-flirt wanton girl. 32 bud term of endearment usually applied to children. But in Garrick’s The gadder gadabout. Country Girl Lucy says ‘Bud means husband . . . and if he was my husband I’d bud magpie chatterer. him, a surly, unreasonable beast’ (II.ii). Perhaps Wycherley alludes to the cuckold’s 44 lampoon scurrilous satire circulating in manuscript. budding horns. 53 town documents lessons about the town. 33 froppish fretful; nangered angered. Again she talks to him as if he were a child. 58 placehouse chief house on an estate. Suggests a wealthy background.

30 31 the country wife act ii scene i mrs pinchwife mrs pinchwife No, indeed, dear; she chid me just now for liking the player- No, no, bud; but why have we no player-men in the country? men. pinchwife pinchwife (Aside) Ha! – Mistress Minx, ask me no more to go to a play. 85 Nay, if she be so innocent as to own to me her liking them, there 65 mrs pinchwife is no hurt in’t. – Come, my poor rogue, but thou lik’st none Nay, why love? I did not care for going, but when you forbid better than me? me, you make me, as’t were, desire it. mrs pinchwife alithea (Aside) Yes, indeed, but I do; the player-men are finer folks. So ’twill be in other things, I warrant. pinchwife mrs pinchwife But you love none better than me? Pray, let me go to a play, dear. mrs pinchwife pinchwife You are mine own dear bud, and I know you; I hate a stranger. 70 Hold your peace, I won’t. 90 pinchwife mrs pinchwife Ay, my dear, you must love me only, and not be like the naughty Why, love? town-women, who only hate their husbands and love every pinchwife man else; love plays, visits, fine coaches, fine clothes, fiddles, Why, I’ll tell you. balls, treats, and so lead a wicked town-life. alithea (Aside) mrs pinchwife Nay, if he tell her, she’ll give him more cause to forbid her that Nay, if to enjoy all these things be a town-life, London is not so 75 place. bad a place, dear. mrs pinchwife pinchwife Pray, why, dear? 95 How! If you love me, you must hate London. pinchwife alithea [Aside] First, you like the actors, and the gallants may like you. The fool has forbid me discovering to her the pleasures of the mrs pinchwife town, and he is now setting her agog upon them himself. What, a homely country girl? No, bud, nobody will like me. mrs pinchwife pinchwife But, husband, do the town-women love the player-men too? 80 I tell you, yes, they may. pinchwife mrs pinchwife Yes, I warrant you. No, no, you jest – I won’t believe you, I will go. mrs pinchwife pinchwife Ay, I warrant you. I tell you then, that one of the lewdest fellows in town, who saw 100 pinchwife you there, told me he was in love with you. Why, you do not, I hope? mrs pinchwife Indeed! Who, who, pray who was’t? pinchwife ( ) 63–4 player-men actors, as she called them at II.i.21; perhaps childish language, for Pinch- Aside wife’s benefit. I’ve gone too far, and slipped before I was aware. How over- 73 fiddles fiddlers; joyed she is! 74 balls social gatherings; treats entertainments. mrs pinchwife 79 setting her agog upon making her eager for. 82 sp mrs pinchwife Q1–5, O. Gamini Salgado assigns this speech to Alithea (Three Was it any Hampshire gallant, any of our neighbours? I promise 105 Restoration Comedies, 1968). But if Mrs Pinchwife has it Pinchwife’s question (l. 83) you, I am beholding to him. makes better sense. 106 beholding beholden.

32 33 the country wife act ii scene i pinchwife pinchwife [Aside] I promise you, you lie; for he would but ruin you, as he has Wonderful! done hundreds. He has no other love for women, but that; such sparkish as he look upon women like basilisks, but to destroy ’em. Tell me, I say, Harcourt, how dost thou like her? Thou hast mrs pinchwife stared upon her enough to resolve me. Ay, but if he loves me, why should he ruin me? Answer me to 110 harcourt that. Methinks he should not; I would do him no harm. So infinitely well that I could wish I had a mistress too, that 135 alithea might differ from her in nothing but her love and engagement Ha, ha, ha! to you. pinchwife alithea ’Tis very well; but I’ll keep him from doing you any harm, or Sir, Master Sparkish has often told me that his acquaintance me either. were all wits and railleurs, and now I find it. sparkish Enter sparkish and harcourt No, by the universe madam, he does not rally now; you may 140 But here comes company; get you in, get you in. 115 believe him, I do assure you, he is the honestest, worthiest, true- mrs pinchwife hearted gentleman – a man of such, perfect honour, he would But pray, husband, is he a pretty gentleman that loves me? say nothing to a lady he does not mean. pinchwife pinchwife [Aside] In, baggage, in! Thrusts her in; shuts the door Praising another man to his mistress! [Aside] What, all the lewd libertines of the town brought to my harcourt lodging by this easy coxcomb! ’Sdeath, I’ll not suffer it. Sir, you are so beyond expectation obliging, that – 145 sparkish sparkish Here Harcourt, do you approve my choice? [To alithea] Dear 120 Nay, i’gad, I am sure you do admire her extremely; I see’t in little rogue, I told you I’d bring you acquainted with all my your eyes. – He does admire you, madam. – By the world, don’t friends, the wits, and – you? harcourt salutes her harcourt pinchwife [Aside] Yes, above the world, or the most glorious part of it, her whole Ay, they shall know her, as well as you yourself will, I warrant sex; and till now I never thought I should have envied you or 150 you. any man about to marry, but you have the best excuse for sparkish marriage I ever knew. This is one of those, my pretty rogue, that are to dance at your 125 alithea wedding tomorrow; and him you must bid welcome ever to Nay, now, sir, I’m satisfied you are of the society of the wits and what you and I have. railleurs since you cannot spare your friend even when he is but pinchwife (Aside) too civil to you. But the surest sign is, since you are an enemy 155 Monstrous! sparkish Harcourt, how dost thou like her, faith? – Nay, dear, do not look 134 resolve me give me your opinion. 139 railleurs railers, mockers; fashionable French word likely to have been used by down; I should hate to have a wife of mine out of countenance 130 Sparkish. See I.i.247. at anything. 155–7 Raillery against marriage was so common among the wits as to have become unfashionable; Friedman quotes Thomas Shadwell, The Miser (1672), where Bell - 109 like basilisks as basilisks do, a basilisk being a fabulous reptile whose glance was fatal. mour complains of Hazard that he has ‘the common place wit of all the young fops 119 easy coxcomb easy-going fop. in this town, in railing against marriage’.

34 35 the country wife act ii scene i

to marriage; for that, I hear, you hate as much as business or harcourt bad wine. Because you are a lover, and true lovers are blind, stock blind. harcourt sparkish Truly, madam, I never was an enemy to marriage till now, True, true; but by the world, she has wit too, as well as beauty. because marriage was never an enemy to me before. Go, go with her into a corner, and try if she has wit; talk to her alithea anything; she’s bashful before me. 185 But why, sir, is marriage an enemy to you now? Because it robs 160 harcourt you of your friend here? For you look upon a friend married as Indeed, if a woman wants wit in a corner, she has it nowhere. one gone into a monastery, that is dead to the world. alithea (Aside to sparkish) harcourt Sir, you dispose of me a little before your time – ’Tis indeed, because you marry him; I see, madam, you can sparkish guess my meaning. I do confess heartily and openly, I wish it Nay, nay, madam, let me have an earnest of your obedience or – were in my power to break the match. By heavens I would! 165 Go, go, madam – sparkish harcourt courts alithea aside Poor Frank! pinchwife alithea How, sir! If you are not concerned for the honour of a wife, I 190 Would you be so unkind to me? am for that of a sister; he shall not debauch her. Be a pander to harcourt your own wife, bring men to her, let ’em make love before your No, no, ’tis not because I would be unkind to you. face, thrust ’em into a corner together, then leave ’em in private! sparkish Is this your town wit and conduct? Poor Frank! No, gad, ’tis only his kindness to me. sparkish pinchwife (Aside) Ha, ha, ha! A silly wise rogue would make one laugh more than 195 Great kindness to you indeed! Insensible fop, let a man make 170 a stark fool, ha, ha! I shall burst. Nay, you shall not disturb ’em; love to his wife to his face! I’ll vex thee, by the world. sparkish Struggles with pinchwife to keep him Come, dear Frank, for all my wife there that shall be, thou shalt from harcourt and alithea enjoy me sometimes, dear rogue. By my honour, we men of wit alithea condole for our deceased brother in marriage as much as for The writings are drawn, sir, settlements made; ’tis too late, sir, one dead in earnest. – I think that was prettily said of me, ha, 175 and past all revocation. Harcourt? – But come, Frank, be not melancholy for me. harcourt harcourt Then so is my death. 200 No, I assure you I am not melancholy for you. sparkish Prithee, Frank, dost think my wife that shall be, there, a fine 183 stock blind as blind as a lifeless thing or stupid person (OED stock sb1. VIII. 60). person? 186 wit in a corner i.e., perhaps, impudence in an assignation. In Love in a Wood Lady harcourt Flippant complains ‘I do not know a man of you all, that will not thrust a woman I could gaze upon her till I became as blind as you are. 180 up into a corner, and then talk an hour to her impertinently of marriage’, and Ranger sparkish assures her ‘You would find me another man in a corner’ (I.ii.261–4). A distant echo of Horace, Odes, ‘gratus puellae risus ab angulo’ (1.9.22), the agreeable laughter of How, as I am? How? a girl from a corner. 188 earnest foretaste. 173 enjoy me have the pleasure of my company. 195 would who would. 176 not Q2–5, O (not not Q1). 197 vex thwart.

36 37 the country wife act ii scene i alithea pinchwife I would not be unjust to him. D’ye hear that? harcourt sparkish Then why to me so? Why, d’ye think I’ll seem to be jealous, like a country bumpkin? 225 alithea pinchwife I have no obligation to you. No, rather be a cuckold, like a credulous cit. harcourt harcourt My love. Madam, you would not have been so little generous as to have alithea told him? I had his before. 205 alithea harcourt Yes, since you could be so little generous as to wrong him. You never had it; he wants, you see, jealousy, the only infallible harcourt sign of it. Wrong him! No man can do’t, he’s beneath an injury; a bubble, 230 alithea a coward, a senseless idiot, a wretch so contemptible to all the Love proceeds from esteem; he cannot distrust my virtue. world but you that – Besides he loves me, or he would not marry me. alithea harcourt Hold, do not rail at him, for since he is like to be my husband I Marrying you is no more sign of his love, than bribing your 210 am resolved to like him. Nay, I think I am obliged to tell him woman, that he may marry you, is a sign of his generosity. you are not his friend. – Master Sparkish, Master Sparkish! 235 Marri age is rather a sign of interest than love; and he that sparkish marries a fortune, covets a mistress, not loves her. But if you What, what? Now, dear rogue, has not she wit? take marriage for a sign of love, take it from me immediately. harcourt (Speaks surlily) alithea Not so much as I thought, and hoped she had. No, now you have put a scruple in my head. But in short, sir, to 215 alithea end our dispute, I must marry him; my reputation would suffer Master Sparkish, do you bring people to rail at you? in the world else. harcourt harcourt Madam – No, if you do marry him, with your pardon, madam, your sparkish reputation suffers in the world, and you would be thought in How! No, but if he does rail at me, ’tis but in jest, I warrant; 240 necessity for a cloak. 220 what we wits do for one another and never take any notice of it. alithea alithea Nay, now you are rude, sir. – Master Sparkish, pray come hither, He spoke so scurrilously of you, I had no patience to hear him; your friend here is very troublesome, and very loving. besides, he has been making love to me. harcourt (Aside to alithea) harcourt (Aside) Hold, hold! True, damned, tell-tale woman. sparkish 206–7 proverbial, and a recurrent idea in Wycherley. See Love in a Wood IV.iii.28–9. Pshaw! to show his parts. We wits rail and make love often but 245 212 interest self-interest. than Q4–5, O (then Q1–3). 220 cloak cover for immorality. Cook and Swannell quote , The City Heiress 226 cit citizen; disparaging. (1682): ‘Would you have the impudence to marry an old coxcomb, a fellow that will 230 bubble dupe. See also III.ii.54–61. not so much as serve you for a cloak, he is so visibly and undeniably impotent?’ 245 parts (generally) talents, intellectual abilities; (to fops like Sparkish) superficial (II.iii). See also III.ii.165. accomplishments; (sometimes) private parts. The bawdy double entendre follows at

38 39 the country wife act ii scene i

to show our parts; as we have no affections, so we have no alithea malice; we – Hold, hold! Indeed, to tell the truth, the gentleman said after all alithea that what he spoke was but out of friendship to you. He said you were a wretch, below an injury. sparkish sparkish How! say, I am – I am a fool, that is no wit, out of friendship Pshaw! to me? 270 harcourt [Aside] alithea Damned, senseless, impudent, virtuous jade! Well, since she 250 Yes, to try whether I was concerned enough for you, and made won’t let me have her, she’ll do as good, she’ll make me hate her. love to me only to be satisfied of my virtue, for your sake. alithea harcourt (Aside) A common bubble. Kind, however – sparkish sparkish Pshaw! Nay, if it were so, my dear rogue, I ask thee pardon. But why alithea would not you tell me so, faith? 275 A coward. harcourt sparkish Because I did not think on’t, faith. Pshaw, pshaw! 255 sparkish alithea Come, Horner does not come. Harcourt, let’s be gone to the A senseless, drivelling idiot. new play. – Come, madam. sparkish alithea How! Did he disparage my parts? Nay, then my honour’s I will not go, if you intend to leave me alone in the box and run concerned. I can’t put up that, sir, by the world. Brother, help into the pit, as you use to do. 280 me to kill him. (Aside) I may draw now, since we have the odds sparkish of him. Tis a good occasion, too, before my mistress – 260 Pshaw! I’ll leave Harcourt with you in the box to entertain you Offers to draw and that’s as good. If I sat in the box I should be thought no alithea judge but of trimmings. – Come away, Harcourt, lead her Hold, hold! down. sparkish Exeunt sparkish, harcourt and alithea What, what? pinchwife alithea (Aside) Well, go thy ways, for the flower of the true town fops, such as 285 I must not let ’em kill the gentleman neither, for his kindness spend their estates before they come to ’em, and are cuckolds to me; I am so far from hating him that I wish my gallant had before they’re married. But let me go look to my own freehold – his person and understanding. – Nay, if my honour – 265 How! sparkish I’ll be thy death. 267 after all in conclusion. 269 Iam the repetition may be a printer’s error, but seems to be a dramatic device, as in similar cases at ll. 505 and 507–9 below and at V.iii.70. ll. 246 and 257–8, but maybe Sparkish does not know what he is saying, like Sir 279 box one of a number of private boxes in the theatre gallery. Jaspar Fidget at II.i.545 and IV.ii.105, 135–60. 280 pit where ‘the wits’ row’ (I.i.310) was. 257 disparage my parts criticise my intellectual power, ‘say . . . I am a fool, that is no wit’ 283 trimmings probably, fashionable adornments. See I.i.283. (l. 269). 284–4 lead her down give her your arm. 258 put up put up with. 287 freehold i.e. his wife.

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Enter my lady fidget, mrs dainty fidget dainty and mrs squeamish Come, come, we must see how it goes with her; I understand lady fidget the disease. lady fidget Your servant, sir. Where is your lady? We are come to wait upon 290 Come. 315 her to the new play. pinchwife ( ) pinchwife Aside Well, there is no being too hard for women at their own weapon, New play! pinchwife lady fidget lying; therefore I’ll quit the field. Exit squeamish And my husband will wait upon you presently. pinchwife ( ) Here’s an example of jealousy! Aside lady fidget Damn your civility. – Madam, by no means; I will not see Sir Indeed, as the world goes, I wonder there are no more jealous, Jaspar here till I have waited upon him at home; nor shall my since wives are so neglected. 320 wife see you till she has waited upon your ladyship at your 295 dainty lodgings. lady fidget Pshaw! as the world goes, to what end should they be jealous? lady fidget Now we are here, sir – pinchwife Foh! ’tis a nasty world. squeamish No, madam. dainty That men of parts, great acquaintance, and quality should take up with and spend themselves and fortunes in keeping little Pray let us see her. squeamish playhouse creatures, foh! 325 lady fidget We will not stir till we see her. 300 Nay, that women of understanding, great acquaintance and pinchwife (Aside) good quality should fall a-keeping, too, of little creatures, foh! A pox on you all! (Goes to the door and returns) She has locked squeamish the door, and is gone abroad. lady fidget Why, ’tis the men of quality’s fault. They never visit women of honour and reputation as they used to do; and have not so No, you have locked the door, and she’s within. dainty much as common civility for ladies of our rank, but use us with 330 the same indifferency and ill-breeding as if we were all married They told us below, she was here. pinchwife [ ] to ’em. Aside lady fidget Will nothing do? – Well, it must out then. To tell you the truth, 305 She says true! ’Tis an arrant shame women of quality should be ladies, which I was afraid to let you know before, lest it might so slighted. Methinks, birth – birth should go for something. endanger your lives, my wife has just now the small-pox come I have known men admired, courted, and followed for their 335 out upon her. Do not be frightened; but pray, be gone, ladies; titles only. you shall not stay here in danger of your lives; pray get you gone, ladies. 310 321 i.e. they need not be jealous, since wives are neglected by lovers as well as by lady fidget husbands. No, no, we have all had ’em. 323–5 Nell Gwyn was only the most famous actress who took up such an offer. See also squeamish Prologue, ll. 27–8. 326–7 For instance, Lady Castlemaine had liaisons with both Charles Hart and Wycherley Alack, alack! himself. 331 indifferency indifference.

42 43 the country wife act ii scene i squeamish continent in your discourse, or I shall hate you. 360 Ay, one would think men of honour should not love, no more dainty than marry, out of their own rank. Besides, an intrigue is so much the more notorious for the man’s dainty quality. Fie, fie upon ’em! They are come to think cross-breeding for squeamish themselves best, as well as for their dogs and horses. 340 ’Tis true, nobody takes notice of a private man, and therefore lady fidget with him ’tis more secret, and the crime’s the less when ’tis not They are dogs, and horses for’t. known. 365 squeamish lady fidget One would think, if not for love, for vanity a little. You say true. I’faith, I think you are in the right on’t. ’Tis not an dainty injury to a husband till it be an injury to our honours; so that Nay, they do satisfy their vanity upon us sometimes, and are a woman of honour loses no honour with a private person; and kind to us in their report; tell all the world they lie with us. to say truth – lady fidget dainty (Apart to squeamish) Damned rascals! That we should be only wronged by ’em. To 345 So, the little fellow is grown a private person – with her. 370 report a man has had a person, when he has not had a person, lady fidget is the greatest wrong in the whole world that can be done to a But still my dear, dear honour. person. sir jaspar horner dorilant squeamish Enter , , Well, ’tis an arrant shame noble persons should be so wronged sir jaspar and neglected. 350 Ay, my dear, dear of honour, thou hast still so much honour in lady fidget thy mouth – But still ’tis an arranter shame for a noble person to neglect her horner (Aside) own honour, and defame her own noble person with little That she has none elsewhere. inconsiderable fellows, foh! lady fidget dainty Oh, what d’ye mean to bring in these upon us? 375 I suppose the crime against our honour is the same with a man dainty of quality as with another. 355 Foh! these are as bad as wits. lady fidget squeamish How! No, sure, the man of quality is likest one’s husband and Foh! therefore the fault should be the less. lady fidget dainty Let us leave the room. But then the pleasure should be the less. sir jaspar lady fidget Stay, stay; faith, to tell you the naked truth – Fie, fie, fie, for shame, sister! Whither shall we ramble? Be lady fidget Fie, Sir Jaspar, do not use that word ‘naked’. 380

337–8 love, no more than marry, ed. (love no more, than marry Q1–5, O). 341 for’t for thinking it. 360 in your discourse, i.e., in your discourse at least . 359 ramble allow our lascivious thoughts to wander. John D. Patterson, ‘The Restor- 363 private without rank in society. ation Ramble’, Notes and Queries vol. 226 (1981), 209–10, notes that at this time the 364–5 the crime’s the less when ’tis not known a libertine commonplace; ‘To be taken, to be verb often meant ‘go out in search of sex’, quoting Wycherley’s Love in a Wood among seen, / These have crimes accounted been’ Jonson, Volpone III.vii.181–2). other sources. 372 dear of honour dear to me because of your virtue. 376 as bad as wits who were notorious for ribaldry and debauchery.

44 45 the country wife act ii scene i sir jaspar affected, dull, tea-drinking, arithmetical fop sets up for a wit, by Well, well, in short, I have business at Whitehall, and cannot go railing at men of sense, so these for honour by railing at the 400 to the play with you, therefore would have you go – court and ladies of as great honour as quality. lady fidget sir jaspar With those two to a play? Come, Master Horner, I must desire you to go with these ladies sir jaspar to the play, sir. No, not with t’other but with Master Horner. There can be no horner more scandal to go with him than with Master Tattle, or Master 385 I, sir? Limberham. sir jaspar lady fidget Ay, ay, come, sir. 405 With that nasty fellow! No – no! horner sir jaspar I must beg your pardon, sir, and theirs. I will not be seen in Nay, prithee dear, hear me. Whispers to lady fidget women’s company in public again for the world. horner sir jaspar Ladies – Ha, ha! strange aversion! squeamish horner, dorilant drawing near squeamish and dainty No, he’s for women’s company in private. dainty sir jaspar Stand off! 390 He – poor man – he! ha, ha, ha! 410 squeamish dainty Do not approach us! ’Tis a greater shame amongst lewd fellows to be seen in dainty virtuous women’s company than for the women to be seen with You herd with the wits, you are obscenity all over. them. squeamish horner And I would as soon look upon a picture of Adam and Eve, Indeed, madam, the time was I only hated virtuous women, but without fig leaves, as any of you, if I could help it, therefore now I hate the other too; I beg your pardon, ladies. 415 keep off, and do not make us sick. 395 lady fidget dorilant You are very obliging, sir, because we would not be troubled What a devil are these? with you. horner sir jaspar Why, these are pretenders to honour, as critics to wit, only by In sober sadness, he shall go. censuring others; and as every raw, peevish, out-of-humoured, dorilant Nay, if he won’t, I am ready to wait upon the ladies; and I think 381 Whitehall i.e., at court. See I.i.98. I am the fitter man. 420 385–6 Master Tattle, or Master Limberham names probably of the ‘two old civil gentlemen’ sir jaspar mentioned at II.i.450, Tattle suggesting idle talk, Limberham obsequiousness. You, sir? No, I thank you for that. Master Horner is a privileged Wycherley apparently invented the name Limberham, borrowed by Dryden for a man amongst the virtuous ladies; ’twill be a great while before ‘tame, foolish keeper’ in The Kind Keeper; or, Mr Limberham (1678). Tattle was used by Congreve for a fop in Love for Love (1695). you are so, he, he, he! He’s my wife’s gallant, he, he, he! No, pray 388 sd Sir Jaspar has already told his wife Horner is a eunuch (I.i.92), but the context suggests that is what he whispers about here. The effect is to leave centre stage for the comic exchange between the wits and the other ladies. 399 arithmetical excessively precise; not recorded in this sense in OED. 396 What a devil What the devil. 418 In sober sadness In all seriousness; perhaps an old-fashioned asseveration.

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withdraw, sir, for as I take it, the virtuous ladies have no busi- gamester, and consequently loves play. Besides, you know, you ness with you. 425 have but two old civil gentlemen (with stinking breaths too) to 450 dorilant wait upon you abroad; take in the third into your service. The And I am sure he can have none with them. ’Tis strange a man other are but crazy; and a lady should have a supernumerary can’t come amongst virtuous women now, but upon the same gentleman-usher, as a supernumerary coachhorse, lest some- terms as men are admitted into the great Turk’s seraglio; but times you should be forced to stay at home. heavens keep me from being an ombre player with ’em! But lady fidget where is Pinchwife? Exit dorilant 430 But are you sure he loves play, and has money? 455 sir jaspar sir jaspar Come, come, man; what, avoid the sweet society of woman- He loves play as much as you, and has money as much as I. kind? – that sweet, soft, gentle, tame, noble creature, woman, lady fidget made for man’s companion – Then I am contented to make him pay for his scurrility; money horner makes up in a measure all other wants in men. – (Aside) Those So is that soft, gentle, tame, and more noble creature a spaniel, whom we cannot make hold for gallants, we make fine. and has all their tricks; can fawn, lie down, suffer beating, and 435 sir jaspar (Aside) fawn the more; barks at your friends when they come to see So, so; now to mollify, to wheedle him. – Master Horner, will 460 you; makes your bed hard; gives you fleas, and the mange you never keep civil company? Methinks ’tis time now, since sometimes. And all the difference is, the spaniel’s the more you are only fit for them. Come, come, man, you must e’en fall faithful animal and fawns but upon one master. to visiting our wives, eating at our tables, drinking tea with our sir jaspar virtuous relations after dinner, dealing cards to ’em, reading He, he, he! 440 plays and gazettes to ’em, picking fleas out of their shocks for 465 squeamish ’em, collecting receipts, new songs, women, pages, and footmen Oh, the rude beast! for ’em. dainty horner Insolent brute! I hope they’ll afford me better employment, sir. lady fidget sir jaspar Brute! Stinking, mortified, rotten French wether, to dare – He, he, he! ’Tis fit you know your work before you come into sir jaspar your place; and since you are unprovided of a lady to flatter, 470 Hold, an’t please your ladyship. – For shame, Master Horner, your mother was a woman. – (Aside) Now shall I never recon - 445 449 gamester gambler. cile ’em. – Hark you, madam, take my advice in your anger. You play gambling. know you often want one to make up your drolling pack of 452 other others; but crazy almost ga-ga. 453 gentleman-usher attendant on a person of rank. They were going out of fashion, as ombre players; and you may cheat him easily, for he’s an ill Etherege suggests: The Man of Mode (1676) I.i.67–9. as as she would have. 428 great Turk Sultan of Turkey; mentioned again at IV.iii.331. 459 make hold for occupy the position of. 429 ombre card game said to have made fashionable by Charles II’s wife Catherine of make fine require to pay. But as a fine was often a payment to avoid the duties of Braganza. From the Spanish juego del hombre, the man’s game. So Dorilant is saying office, there is probably a satirical reference to Horner’s presumed impotence. both that he does not want to play cards with the ladies and that he does not want 460 wheedle win over. See also l. 490. to play at being a man with them. See similar pun at IV.iii.197–8. 463 drinking tea harmless custom especially hateful to Horner. See l. 399. 443 mortified, rotten French wether literally, tenderised but rotten meat of a castrated 465 gazettes newspapers. ram; OED 5 quoting Fynes Moryson, An Itinerary (1617), ‘The French alone delight shocks poodles. in mortified meats’ (III.134); metaphorically, man made impotent by the pox. 466 receipts recipes. 447 drolling ridiculous. women waiting women.

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and a good house to eat at, pray frequent mine, and call my wife sir jaspar mistress, and she shall call you gallant, according to the custom. Sister, cuz, I have provided an innocent playfellow for you horner there. 495 Who, I? dainty sir jaspar Who, he? Faith, thou shalt for my sake; come, for my sake only. squeamish horner There’s a playfellow indeed! For your sake – 475 sir jaspar sir jaspar Yes, sure, what, he is good enough to play at cards, blind man’s Come, come, here’s a gamester for you; let him be a little buff, or the fool with sometimes. familiar sometimes; nay, what if a little rude? Gamesters may be squeamish rude with ladies, you know. Foh! we’ll have no such playfellows. 500 lady fidget dainty Yes, losing gamesters have a privilege with women. No, sir, you shan’t choose playfellows for us, we thank you. horner sir jaspar I always thought the contrary, that the winning gamester had 480 Nay, pray hear me. Whispering to them most privilege with women; for when you have lost your money lady fidget to a man, you’ll lose anything you have, all you have, they say, But, poor gentleman, could you be so generous, so truly a man and he may use you as he pleases. of honour, as for the sakes of us women of honour, to cause sir jaspar yourself to be reported no man? No man! And to suffer yourself 505 He, he, he! Well, win or lose, you shall have your liberty with the greatest shame that could fall upon a man, that none might her. 485 fall upon us women by your conversation? But indeed, sir, as lady fidget perfectly, perfectly, the same man as before your going into As he behaves himself; and for your sake I’ll give him admit- France, sir? As perfectly, perfectly, sir? tance and freedom. horner horner As perfectly, perfectly, madam. Nay, I scorn you should take my 510 All sorts of freedom, madam? word; I desire to be tried only, madam. sir jaspar lady fidget Ay, ay, ay, all sorts of freedom thou canst take, and so go to her, Well, that’s spoken again like a man of honour; all men of begin thy new employment; wheedle her, jest with her, and be 490 honour desire to come to the test. But, indeed, generally, you better acquainted one with another. men report such things of yourselves, one does not know how horner (Aside) or whom to believe; and it is come to that pass, we dare not take 515 I think I know her already, therefore may venture with her, my your words no more than your tailors, without some staid secret for hers. horner and lady fidget whisper 494 cuz abbreviation of cousin, used in familiar address, especially to relatives. 500 playfellow sexual partner; double entendre. See Farmer and Henley under ‘play’ and 471–2 The custom is observed by Lady Fidget and Horner, ll. 546–7 (and by the somewhat Partridge, Shakespeare’s Bawdy (1968), p.162. similarly related Lucy and Gripe, Love in a Wood V.i.151–2). The words mistress and 502 sd Presumably he tells them Horner is a eunuch, while Horner assures Lady Fidget gallant could be more or less innocent; Friedman quotes Thomas Blount, Glosso- he is not. graphia (1670): ‘Gallant . . . Servant or Platonick to a Lady’ (p. 287). 507 conversation intercourse; double entendre. 477 Gamesters gamblers as at l. 449. But the slang sense, ‘wencher’, could also be intended. 516 no more than your tailors any more than your tailors would. 492 venture Q2–5, O (venter Q1, probably just alternative spelling), bargain. staid settled in character.

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servant of yours be bound with you. But I have so strong a faith sir jaspar in your honour, dear, dear, noble sir, that I’d forfeit mine for Well, well, that your ladyship is as virtuous as any she, I know, yours at any time, dear sir. and him all the town knows, he, he, he! Therefore, now you like horner him, get you gone to your business together; go, go, to your No, madam, you should not need to forfeit it for me. I have 520 business, I say, pleasure, whilst I go to my pleasure, business. 545 given you security already to save you harmless, my late reputa - lady fidget tion being so well known in the world, madam. Come then, dear gallant. lady fidget horner But if upon any future falling out, or upon a suspicion of my Come away, my dearest mistress. taking the trust out of your hands, to employ some other, you sir jaspar yourself should betray your trust, dear sir? I mean, if you’ll give 525 So, so; why ’tis as I’d have it. Exit sir jaspar me leave to speak obscenely, you might tell, dear sir. horner horner And as I’d have it. If I did, nobody would believe me; the reputation of impotency lady fidget is as hardly recovered again in the world as that of cowardice, Who for his business, from his wife will run, 550 dear madam. Takes the best care, to have her business done. lady fidget Exeunt omnes Nay, then, as one may say, you may do your worst, dear, dear, 530 sir. sir jaspar Come, is your ladyship reconciled to him yet? Have you agreed on matters? For I must be gone to Whitehall. lady fidget Why, indeed, Sir Jaspar, Master Horner is a thousand, thousand times a better man than I thought him. Cousin Squeamish, 535 Sister Dainty, I can name him now, truly; not long ago, you know, I thought his very name obscenity, and I would as soon have lain with him as have named him. sir jaspar Very likely, poor madam. dainty I believe it. 540 squeamish No doubt on’t.

517 be bound literally, stand surety for payment (to the tailor); metaphorically perhaps, give sexual satisfaction (if the gallant does not). 545 business both frivolous activity and sexual intercourse. Sir Jaspar intends the first 521 save you harmless save you from harm (by scandal); legal terminology (Dixon). irony, but not the second. Lady Fidget makes the bawdy meaning quite clear in 550–1 526 obscenely Characteristically, she associates plain dealing with indecency – though below. she may be joking. 548 It is as Sir Jaspar would have it partly because Lady Fidget and Horner are using the 528 recovered again recovered from. terms he suggested (ll. 472) – but not in the senses he intended.

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pinchwife act iii, scene i Come, Mistress Flippant, good precepts are lost when bad examples are still before us. The liberty you take abroad makes her hanker after it, and out of humour at home. Poor wretch! alithea and mrs pinchwife she desired not to come to London; I would bring her. alithea alithea Ver y well. 25 Sister, what ails you? You are grown melancholy. pinchwife mrs pinchwife She has been this week in town, and never desired, till this Would it not make anyone melancholy, to see you go every day afternoon, to go abroad. fluttering about abroad, whilst I must stay at home like a poor alithea lonely sullen bird in a cage? alithea Was she not at a play yesterday? pinchwife Ay, sister, but you came young and just from the nest to your 5 Yes, but she ne’er asked me. I was myself the cause of her going. cage, so that I thought you liked it; and could be as cheerful in’t alithea as others that took their flight themselves early, and are hopping Then, if she ask you again, you are the cause of her asking, and abroad in the open air. 30 mrs pinchwife not my example. pinchwife Nay, I confess I was quiet enough till my husband told me what Well, tomorrow night I shall be rid of you; and the next day, pure lives the London ladies live abroad, with their dancing, 10 before ’tis light, she and I’ll be rid of the town, and my dreadful meetings, and junketings, and dressed every day in their best apprehensions. Come, be not melancholy, for thou shalt go into gowns; and I warrant you, play at ninepins every day of the the country after tomorrow, dearest. 35 week, so they do. alithea Enter pinchwife Great comfort! mrs pinchwife pinchwife Pish! what d’ye tell me of the country for? Come, what’s here to do? You are putting the town pleasures in pinchwife her head, and setting her a-longing. 15 alithea How’s this? What, pish at the country? mrs pinchwife Yes, after ninepins! You suffer none to give her those longings Let me alone, I am not well. you mean, but yourself. pinchwife pinchwife O, if that be all – what ails my dearest? 40 I tell her of the vanities of the town like a confessor. mrs pinchwife alithea Truly I don’t know; but I have not been well since you told me A confessor! Just such a confessor as he that, by forbidding a there was a gallant at the play in love with me. silly ostler to grease the horse’s teeth, taught him to do’t. 20 pinchwife Ha! alithea 10 pure wonderful; childish or vulgar term. 12 ninepins a game ‘still kept in action by the bumpkins’, according to Francis Kirkman, That’s by my example, too! The Unlucky Citizen (1673), p. 10; unlikely to have been played by the London ladies. 20 Sophisticated ostlers used grease to inhibit feeding, and so make a better profit on 21 Mistress Flippant Lady Flippant was a hypocritical character in Love in a Wood; the the provender. word means ‘impertinently voluble’ (OED 2.b).

54 55 the country wife act iii scene i pinchwife alithea Nay, if you are not well, but are so concerned because a lewd 45 I’m the cause of this desire too. fellow chanced to lie and say he liked you, you’ll make me sick pinchwife too. But now I think on’t, who was the cause of Horner’s coming to mrs pinchwife my lodging today? That was you. 70 Of what sickness? alithea pinchwife No, you, because you would not let him see your handsome O, of that which is worse than the plague – jealousy. wife out of your lodging. mrs pinchwife mrs pinchwife Pish, you jeer! I’m sure there’s no such disease in our receipt- 50 Why, O Lord! Did the gentleman come hither to see me indeed? book at home. pinchwife pinchwife No, no. – You are not cause of that damned question too, No thou never met’st with it, poor innocent. (Aside)Well, if Mistress Alithea? (Aside) Well, she’s in the right of it. He is in 75 thou cuckold me, ’twill be my own fault, for cuckolds and love with my wife – and comes after her – ’tis so – but I’ll nip his bastards are generally makers of their own fortune. love in the bud; lest he should follow us into the country and mrs pinchwife break his chariot-wheel near our house on purpose for an excuse Well, but pray, bud, let’s go to a play tonight. 55 to come to’t. But I think I know the town. pinchwife mrs pinchwife ’Tis just done, she comes from it; but why are you so eager to Come, pray bud, let’s go abroad before ’tis late. For I will go, 80 see a play? that’s flat and plain. mrs pinchwife pinchwife (Aside) Faith dear, not that I care one pin for their talk there, but I like So! the obstinacy already of a town-wife, and I must, whilst to look upon the player-men, and would see, if I could, the she’s here, humour her like one. – Sister, how shall we do, that gallant you say loves me; that’s all, dear bud. 60 she may not be seen or known? pinchwife alithea Is that all, dear bud? Let her put on her mask. 85 alithea pinchwife This proceeds from my example. Pshaw! A mask makes people but the more inquisitive, and is as mrs pinchwife ridiculous a disguise as a stage beard; her shape, stature, habit But if the play be done, let’s go abroad, however, dear bud. will be known. And if we should meet with Horner, he would pinchwife be sure to take acquaintance with us, must wish her joy, kiss Come, have a little patience, and thou shalt go into the country her, talk to her, leer upon her, and the devil and all. No, I’ll not 90 on Friday. 65 use her to a mask, ’tis dangerous; for masks have made more mrs pinchwife cuckolds than the best faces that ever were known. Therefore I would see first some sights, to tell my neighbours alithea of. Nay, I will go abroad, that’s once. How will you do then? mrs pinchwife

50 you jeer you are joking; expression frequently used by Mrs Pinchwife. Nay, shall we go? The Exchange will be shut, and I have a mind 53–4 ‘The wary fool is by his care betrayed, / As cuckolds by their jealousy are made’ (The Gentleman Dancing-Master III.i.595–6). 78 chariot carriage. 56 ’Tis just done i.e., it is early evening, as plays were performed in the late afternoon. 91 use accustom. 67 that’s once that’s flat; vulgarism. 94 The Exchange See II.i.4 and note.

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to see that. 95 those women, like a drone in the hive, all upon you; shoved and pinchwife ill-used by ’em all, and thrust from one side to t’other. 10 So – I have it – I’ll dress her up in the suit we are to carry down dorilant to her brother, little Sir James; nay, I understand the town tricks. Yet he must be buzzing amongst ’em still, like other old beetle- Come, let’s go dress her. A mask! No; a woman masked, like a headed, lickerish drones. Avoid ’em, and hate ’em as they hate covered dish, gives a man curiosity and appetite, when, it may you. be, uncovered, ’twould turn his stomach; no, no. 100 horner alithea Because I do hate ’em and would hate ’em yet more, I’ll Indeed your comparison is something a greasy one. But I had frequent ’em. You may see by marriage, nothing makes a man 15 a gentle gallant used to say, ‘A beauty masked, like the sun in hate a woman more, than her constant conversation. In short, I eclipse, gathers together more gazers than if it shined out’. converse with ’em, as you do with rich fools, to laugh at ’em Exeunt and use ’em ill. dorilant But I would no more sup with women, unless I could lie with [act iii, scene ] ’em, than sup with a rich coxcomb, unless I could cheat him. 20 ii horner Yes, I have known thee sup with a fool for his drinking; if he could set out your hand that way only, you were satisfied, and The scene changes to the New Exchange if he were a wine-swallowing mouth ’twas enough. [clasp and other shopkeepers] harcourt horner harcourt dorilant Enter , , Yes, a man drinks often with a fool, as he tosses with a marker, dorilant only to keep his hand in ure. But do the ladies drink? 25 Engaged to women, and not sup with us? horner horner Yes, sir, and I shall have the pleasure at least of laying ’em flat Ay, a pox on ’em all. with a bottle, and bring as much scandal that way upon ’em as harcourt formerly t’other. You were much a more reasonable man in the morning, and harcourt had as noble resolutions against ’em as a widower of a week’s Perhaps you may prove as weak a brother amongst ’em that way liberty. 5 as t’other. 30 dorilant dorilant Did I ever think to see you keep company with women in vain? Foh! drinking with women is as unnatural as scolding with ’em. horner [Aside] In vain! No – ’tis, since I can’t love ’em, to be revenged on ’em. 11–12 beetle-headed stupid; lickerish greedy, lustful. harcourt 16 conversation intercourse. See I.i.188. Now your sting is gone, you looked in the box, amongst all 21 Yes, Yet (Harold Love, Yearbook of English Studies, Vol. 15 (1985), 295). Yes could be spoken scornfully (Dixon). 97 little Sir James Mrs Pinchwife’s brother would have to be small, or the suit would 22 set out your hand serve your purpose, i.e. supply drink. Horner perhaps refers to not fit Mrs Boutell, who played the part in 1675. The name also suggests that his getting free drink, though Harcourt takes him to mean Dorilant will drink with a family are country gentry. fool just to keep in practice. 101 greasy distasteful; with a quibble on the literal sense. 24–5 tosses with a marker, only to keep his hand in ure throws dice with a scorer, just to keep 102 like Q2–5, O (lik’d Q1). in practice (OED Ure sb1 I.1.a). . 29 brother member of their fraternity. Harcourt seems to know they are great drinkers. 8 box i.e., at the theatre. 31 scolding with ’em joining them in abusive gossip.

58 59 the country wife act iii scene ii

But ’tis a pleasure of decayed fornicators, and the basest way of mistress, as of his money, the common mistress, by keeping 55 quenching love. him company. harcourt sparkish Nay, ’tis drowning love instead of quenching it. But leave us for Who is that, that is to be bubbled? Faith, let me snack, I ha’n’t civil women too! 35 met with a bubble since Christmas. Gad, I think bubbles are dorilant like their brother woodcocks, go out with the cold weather. Ay, when he can’t be the better for ’em. We hardly pardon a harcourt (Apart to horner) man that leaves his friend for a wench, and that’s a pretty lawful A pox! he did not hear all I hope. 60 call. sparkish horner Come, you bubbling rogues you, where do we sup? – Oh, Faith, I would not leave you for ’em, if they would not drink. Harcourt, my mistress tells me you have been making fierce dorilant love to her all the play long, ha, ha! – But I – Who would disappoint his company at Lewis’s, for a gossiping? 40 harcourt harcourt I make love to her? Foh! Wine and women, good apart, together as nauseous as sparkish sack and sugar. But hark you, sir, before you go, a little of your Nay, I forgive thee; for I think I know thee, and I know her, but 65 advice; an old maimed general, when unfit for action, is fittest I am sure I know myself. for counsel. I have other designs upon women than eating and harcourt drinking with them. I am in love with Sparkish’s mistress, whom 45 Did she tell you so? I see all women are like these of the Exchange, he is to marry tomorrow. Now how shall I get her? who, to enhance the price of their commodities, report to their sparkish fond customers offers which were never made ’em. Enter , looking about horner horner Ay, women are as apt to tell before the intrigue as men after it, 70 Why, here comes one will help you to her. and so show themselves the vainer sex. But hast thou a mistress, harcourt Sparkish? ’Tis as hard for me to believe it as that thou ever He! He, I tell you, is my rival, and will hinder my love. hadst a bubble, as you bragged just now. horner sparkish No, a foolish rival and a jealous husband assist their rival’s Oh, your servant, sir; are you at your raillery, sir? But we were designs; for they are sure to make their women hate them, 50 some of us beforehand with you today at the play. The wits 75 which is the first step to their love for another man. were something bold with you, sir; did you not hear us laugh? harcourt harcourt But I cannot come near his mistress but in his company. Yes, but I thought you had gone to plays to laugh at the poet’s horner wit, not at your own. Still the better for you, for fools are most easily cheated when they themselves are accessories; and he is to be bubbled of his 57 snack share. 59 woodcocks migratory birds; dupes. Woodcock is the name of a fop in Shadwell’s The . Sullen Lovers (1668). 35 civil well-bred. go out disappear. 40 Lewis’s presumably a tavern. 69 fond foolish, credulous. 42 sack Spanish wine, customarily served with sugar. Harcourt’s tase is in advance of his 74 your servant here, a polite form of disagreement. time. 77 sp harcourt Har. Q1–5, O, but perhaps Hor. intended, as Sparkish’s speech is 54 bubbled tricked. addressed to Horner. However, perhaps Harcourt defends him.

60 61 the country wife act iii scene ii sparkish tell you the truth, they have kept me these six years from being Your servant, sir; no, I thank you. Gad, I go to a play as to a a knight in earnest, for fear of being knighted in a play, and country treat. I carry my own wine to one, and my own wit to 80 dubbed a fool. t’other, or else I’m sure I should not be merry at either. And the dorilant reason why we are so often louder than the players is because Blame ’em not, they must follow their copy, the age. 110 we think we speak more wit, and so become the poet’s rivals in harcourt his audience. For to tell you the truth, we hate the silly rogues; But why should’st thou be afraid of being in a play, who expose nay, so much that we find fault even with their bawdy upon the 85 yourself every day in the playhouses, and as public places? stage, whilst we talk nothing else in the pit as loud. horner horner ’Tis but being on the stage, instead of standing on a bench in But, why should’st thou hate the silly poets? Thou hast too the pit. much wit to be one, and they, like whores, are only hated by dorilant each other. And thou dost scorn writing, I’m sure. Don’t you give money to painters to draw you like? And are you 115 sparkish afraid of your pictures at length in a playhouse, where all your Yes, I’d have you to know, I scorn writing. But women, women, 90 mistresses may see you? that make men do all foolish things, make ’em write songs too. sparkish Everybody does it. ’Tis even as common with lovers as playing A pox! Painters don’t draw the smallpox or pimples in one’s face. with fans; and you can no more help rhyming to your Phyllis Come, damn all your silly authors whatever, all books and book- than drinking to your Phyllis. sellers, by the world, and all readers, courteous or uncourteous. 120 harcourt harcourt Nay, in love is no more to be avoided than jealousy. 95 But, who comes here, Sparkish? dorilant Enter pinchwife and his wife in man’s clothes, But the poets damned your songs, did they? alithea lucy sparkish , her maid Damn the poets! They turned ’em into burlesque, as they call sparkish it. That burlesque is a hocus-pocus trick they have got, which Oh hide me! There’s my mistress too. by the virtue of hictius doctius, topsy-turvy, they make a wise sparkish hides himself behind harcourt and witty man in the world a fool upon the stage, you know not 100 harcourt how. – And ’tis therefore I hate ’em too, for I know not but it She sees you. may be my own case; for they’ll put a man into a play for sparkish looking asquint. Their predecessors were contented to make But I will not see her. Tis time to go to Whitehall, and I must serving-men only their stage-fools, but these rogues must have not fail the drawing-room. 125 gentlemen, with a pox to ’em, nay knights. And indeed you 105 harcourt shall hardly see a fool upon the stage but he’s a knight. And to Pray, first carry me, and reconcile me to her.

94 Poets who wrote songs about Phyllis included Rochester, Sedley, and Wycherley himself. Dorset’s ‘A Song on Black Bess’ (1668) begins: ‘Methinks the poor town has been troubled too long / With Phyllis and Chloris in every song’ (Poems, ed. Brice Harris, p. 91). 112 as equally. 99 hictius doctius nonsense term used by jugglers. 115 like accurately. 105 knights like Sir Martin Mar-all (see I.i.224–5 note), Etherege’s Sir Oliver Cockwood 116 at length at full length. (She Would if She Could, 1668), Wycherley’s own Sir Simon Addleplot (Love in a 120 courteous term formerly used by authors in addressing their readers. Wood), and many more. 125 fail fail to attend.

62 63 the country wife act iii scene ii sparkish horner Another time! Faith, the King will have supped. Extremely handsome. I have seen a face like it too. Let us follow harcourt ’em. 145 Not with the worse stomach for thy absence! Thou art one of Exeunt pinchwife, mrs pinchwife; those fools that think their attendance at the King’s meals as alithea, lucy, horner, dorilant following them necessary as his physicians’, when you are more troublesome to 130 harcourt him than his doctors, or his dogs. Come, Sparkish, your mistress saw you, and will be angry you sparkish go not to her. Besides I would fain be reconciled to her, which Pshaw! I know my interest, sir. Prithee, hide me. none but you can do, dear friend. horner sparkish Your servant, Pinchwife. – What, he knows us not! Well, that’s a better reason, dear friend. I would not go near her pinchwife (To his wife, aside) now, for hers or my own sake, but I can deny you nothing; for 150 Come along. though I have known thee a great while, never go, if I do not mrs pinchwife love thee as well as a new acquaintance. Pray, have you any ballads? Give me sixpenny worth. 135 harcourt clasp I am obliged to you indeed, dear friend. I would be well with We have no ballads. her, only to be well with thee still; for these ties to wives usually mrs pinchwife dissolve all ties to friends. I would be contented she should enjoy 155 Then give me Covent Garden Drollery and a play or two. – Oh, you a-nights, but I would have you to myself a-days, as I have here’s Tarugo’s Wiles and The Slighted Maiden. I’ll have them. had, dear friend. pinchwife (Apart to her) sparkish No, plays are not for your reading. Come along; will you dis- And thou shalt enjoy me a-days, dear, dear friend, never stir; cover yourself? 140 and I’ll be divorced from her, sooner than from thee. Come horner along – 160 Who is that pretty youth with him, Sparkish? harcourt (Aside) sparkish So we are hard put to’t, when we make our rival our procurer; I believe his wife’s brother, because he’s something like her; but but neither she nor her brother would let me come near her now. I never saw her but once. When all’s done, a rival is the best cloak to steal to a mistress 127 the King will have supped ‘All persons who had been properly introduced might, under, without suspicion; and when we have once got to her as without special invitation, go to see [Charles II] dine, sup, dance, and play at hazard’ we desire, we throw him off like other cloaks. 165 (Macaulay, History of England, ed. C.H. Firth, vol.1, p. 358). Exit sparkish, and harcourt following him 129–31 Charles II ‘had not more application to anything, than the preservation of his health’ (Halifax, Complete Works, ed. J.P. Kenyon, p. 264). He also ‘took delight to have a Re-enter pinchwife, mrs pinchwife in man’s clothes number of little spaniels follow him, and lie in his bed-chamber, where oftentimes he suffered the bitches to puppy and give suck, which rendered it very offensive, and pinchwife (To alithea [off-stage]) indeed made the whole Court nasty and stinking’ (Evelyn, Diary, 6 February 1685). Sister, if you will not go, we must leave you. (Aside) The fool her 136 sp clasp not mentioned in the list of ‘The Persons’. Friedman suggests the name is gallant and she will muster up all the young saunterers of this an abbreviation of ‘clasp-man’, which could have meant a bookseller (OED Clasp place, and they will leave their dear seamstresses to follow us. sb. 7). 137 Covent Garden Drollery compilation by Alexander Brome of songs, prologues and epilogues from plays, published 1672. 151 never go don’t worry. Never stir (ll. 158) means much the same. 138 Tarugo’s Wiles comedy by Sir Thomas St Serfe, 1668; The Slighted Maiden comedy by 168 There were many seamstresses’ shops in the New Exchange. Jokes about seamstresses Sir Robert Stapleton, 1663. Mrs Pinchwife does not know these plays are completely and male customers were common. unfashionable.

64 65 the country wife act iii scene ii

What a swarm of cuckolds and cuckold-makers are here! – Come, sparkish let’s be gone, Mistress Margery. 170 That’s a good one; I, hate a man for loving you! If he did love mrs pinchwife you, ’tis but what he can’t help; and ’tis your fault not his if he Don’t you believe that, I ha’n’t half my bellyfull of sights yet. admires you. I, hate a man for being of my opinion? I’ll ne’er 190 pinchwife do it, by the world. Then walk this way. alithea mrs pinchwife Is it for your honour or mine, to suffer a man to make love to Lord, what a power of brave signs are here! Stay – the Bull’s me, who am to marry you tomorrow? Head, the Ram’s Head, and the Stag’s Head! Dear – sparkish pinchwife Is it for your honour or mine, to have me jealous? That he Nay, if every husband’s proper sign here were visible, they 175 makes love to you is a sign you are handsome; and that I am 195 would be all alike. not jealous is a sign you are virtuous. That, I think, is for your mrs pinchwife honour. What d’ye mean by that, bud? alithea pinchwife But ’tis your honour too I am concerned for. ’Tis no matter – no matter, bud. harcourt mrs pinchwife But why, dearest madam, will you be more concerned for his Pray tell me; nay, I will know. honour than he is himself? Let his honour alone, for my sake 200 pinchwife and his. He, he has no honour – They would be all bulls’, stags’, and rams’ heads. 180 sparkish Exeunt pinchwife, mrs pinchwife How’s that? harcourt Re-enter sparkish, harcourt, alithea, lucy But what my dear friend can guard himself. at t’other door sparkish sparkish Oho, that’s right again. Come, dear madam, for my sake you shall be reconciled to him. harcourt alithea Your care of his honour argues his neglect of it, which is no 205 For your sake I hate him. honour to my dear friend here; therefore once more, let his harcourt honour go which way it will, dear madam. That’s something too cruel, madam, to hate me for his sake. sparkish sparkish Ay, ay, were it for my honour to marry a woman whose virtue I Ay indeed, madam, too, too cruel to me, to hate my friend for suspected, and could not trust her in a friend’s hands? my sake. 185 alithea alithea Are you not afraid to lose me? 210 I hate him because he is your enemy; and you ought to hate harcourt him too, for making love to me, if you love me. He afraid to lose you, madam! No, no – you may see how the most estimable and most glorious creature in the world is valued by him. Will you not see it? 173 signs tradesmen’s signs or symbols. See I.i.260. sparkish 175 husband’s proper sign cuckold’s horns. Pinchwife is painfully aware that all the signs Right, honest Frank, I have that noble value for her that I show horned creatures. cannot be jealous of her. 215 181 sd at t’other door i.e., on the same side of the stage.

66 67 the country wife act iii scene ii alithea sparkish You mistake him. He means you care not for me nor who Look you there; hear him, hear him, and do not walk away so. 240 has me. harcourt sparkish I love you, madam, so – Lord, madam, I see you are jealous! Will you wrest a poor man’s sparkish meaning from his words? How’s that! Nay – now you begin to go too far indeed. alithea harcourt You astonish me, sir, with your want of jealousy. 220 So much, I confess, I say I love you, that I would not have you sparkish miserable, and cast yourself away upon so unworthy and incon- And you make me giddy, madam, with your jealousy and fears, sid erable a thing as what you see here. 245 and virtue and honour. Gad, I see virtue makes a woman as Clapping his hand on his breast, points at sparkish troublesome as a little reading or learning. sparkish alithea No, faith, I believe thou would’st not. Now his meaning is plain. Monstrous! But I knew before thou would’st not wrong me nor her. lucy (Behind) harcourt Well, to see what easy husbands these women of quality can 225 No, no heavens forbid the glory of her sex should fall so low as meet with! A poor chambermaid can never have such lady-like into the embraces of such a contemptible wretch, the least of luck. Besides, he’s thrown away upon her; she’ll make no use of mankind – my dear friend here – I injure him. 250 her fortune, her blessing; none to a gentleman for a pure cuckold, Embracing sparkish for it requires good breeding to be a cuckold. alithea alithea Ver y well. I tell you then plainly, he pursues me to marry me. 230 sparkish sparkish No, no, dear friend, I knew it. Madam, you see he will rather Pshaw! wrong himself than me, in giving himself such names. harcourt alithea Come, madam, you see you strive in vain to make him jealous Do not you understand him yet? of me. My dear friend is the kindest creature in the world to me. sparkish sparkish Yes, how modestly he speaks of himself, poor fellow. 255 Poor fellow. alithea harcourt Methinks he speaks impudently of yourself, since – before your - But his kindness only is not enough for me, without your 235 self too; insomuch that I can no longer suffer his scurrilous favour. Your good opinion, dear madam, ’tis that must perfect abusiveness to you, no more than his love to me. Offers to go my happiness. Good gentleman, he believes all I say; would you sparkish would do so. Jealous of me! I would not wrong him nor you for Nay, nay, madam, pray stay. His love to you! Lord, madam, has the world. he not spoke yet plain enough? 260 alithea walks carelessly to and fro

249 least Q2–5, O (last Q1); ‘last’ is defensible, but ‘least’ is clearer. 218 jealous impassioned, apprehensive. 252 it. Madam, Q2 (it Madam, Q1; it, Madam, Q3; it: Madam, Q4–5, O). 225 easy complaisant. 256 since sir (T.W. Craik, privately). Arguably ‘since’ is a printer’s error and emendation 227–8 she’ll make no use of her fortune i.e., she will not cuckold him. makes better sense of the dash, but Q1 is defensible; see next note. 228 none to there is nobody like . 256–7 since – before yourself too especially since he says it to your face. The dash adds 239 sd carelessly unconcernedly. emphasis (Dixon).

68 69 the country wife act iii scene ii alithea sparkish Yes indeed, I should think so. Who should it be? – Go on, Harcourt. sparkish harcourt Well then, by the world, a man can’t speak civilly to a woman Who loves you more than women titles, or fortune fools. now but presently she says he makes love to her! Nay, madam, Points at sparkish you shall stay, with your pardon, since you have not yet sparkish understood him, till he has made an éclaircissement of his love 265 Look you there, he means me still, for he points at me. to you, that is, what kind of love it is. [To harcourt] Answer alithea to thy catechism: friend, do you love my mistress here? Ridiculous! 285 harcourt harcourt Yes, I wish she would not doubt it. Who can only match your faith and constancy in love. sparkish sparkish But how do you love her? Ay. harcourt harcourt With all my soul. 270 Who knows, if it be possible, how to value so much beauty and alithea virtue. I thank him; methinks he speaks plain enough now. sparkish sparkish (To alithea) Ay. 290 You are out still. – But with what kind of love, Harcourt? harcourt harcourt Whose love can no more be equalled in the world than that With the best and truest love in the world. heavenly form of yours. sparkish sparkish Look you there then, that is with no matrimonial love, I’m sure. No. alithea harcourt How’s that? Do you say matrimonial love is not best? 275 Who could no more suffer a rival than your absence, and yet sparkish [Aside] could no more suspect your virtue than his own constancy in 295 Gad, I went too far ere I was aware. – But speak for thyself, his love to you. Harcourt; you said you would not wrong me nor her. sparkish harcourt No. No, no, madam, e’en take him for heaven’s sake – harcourt sparkish Who, in fine, loves you better than his eyes, that first made him Look you there, madam. love you. harcourt sparkish Who should in all justice be yours, he that loves you most. 280 Ay – nay, madam, faith, you shan’t go, till – 300 Claps his hand on his breast alithea Look you there, Master Sparkish, who’s that? 283 more than women titles, or fortune fools more than women love titles, or fortune loves fools. ‘Fortune favours fools’ was proverbial, and is echoed again by Harcourt at ll. 568–9. 265 éclaircissement elucidation; an affectation. 298 in fine finally, in short; French enfin. In Dryden’s Sir Martin Mar-all (1667) Moody, 272 out mistaken. who hates fashionable gallicisms, demands an explanation of the phrase, and is told 275 no matrimonial love Sparkish falls into the usual cynicism about marriage. ‘’Tis a phrase à-la-mode, Sir, and is used in conversation now, as a whiff of tobacco 276 sd [Aside] But perhaps he is foolish enough to speak openly?. was formerly, in the midst of a discourse, for a thinking while’ (III.i).

70 71 the country wife act iii scene ii alithea sparkish Have a care, lest you make me stay too long – I love to be envied, and would not marry a wife that I alone sparkish could love. Loving alone is as dull as eating alone. Is it not a 325 But till he has saluted you; that I may be assured you are frank age? And I am a frank person. And to tell you the truth, it friends, after his honest advice and declaration. Come, pray, may be I love to have rivals in a wife; they make her seem to a madam, be friends with him. man still but as a kept mistress. And so good night, for I must to Whitehall. Madam, I hope you are now reconciled to my Enter pinchwife, mrs pinchwife friend; and so I wish you a good night, madam, and sleep if you 330 alithea can, for tomorrow you know I must visit you early with a You must pardon me, sir, that I am not yet so obedient to you. 305 canonical gentleman. Good night, dear Harcourt. pinchwife Exit sparkish What, invite your wife to kiss men? Monstrous! Are you not harcourt ashamed? I will never forgive you. Madam, I hope you will not refuse my visit tomorrow, if it sparkish should be earlier, with a canonical gentleman, than Master Are you not ashamed that I should have more confidence in the Sparkish’s? 335 chastity of your family than you have? You must not teach me; pinchwife (Coming between alithea and harcourt) I am a man of honour, sir, though I am frank and free. I am 310 This gentlewoman is yet under my care; therefore you must yet frank, sir – forbear your freedom with her, sir. pinchwife harcourt Very frank, sir, to share your wife with your friends. Must, sir! sparkish pinchwife He is an humble, menial friend, such as reconciles the differ- Yes, sir, she is my sister. ences of the marriage bed. You know man and wife do not always harcourt agree; I design him for that use, therefore would have him well 315 ’Tis well she is, sir – for I must be her servant, sir. Madam – 340 with my wife. pinchwife pinchwife Come away, sister. We had been gone if it had not been for you, A menial friend! You will get a great many menial friends, by and so avoided these lewd rakehells who seem to haunt us. showing your wife as you do. horner dorilant sparkish Enter , to them What then? It may be I have a pleasure in’t, as I have to show horner fine clothes at a playhouse the first day, and count money before 320 How now, Pinchwife? poor rogues. pinchwife pinchwife Your servant. He that shows his wife or money will be in danger of having horner them borrowed sometimes. What! I see a little time in the country makes a man turn wild 345 and unsociable, and only fit to converse with his horses, dogs, and his herds. 302 saluted kissed. 303 advice opinion. 326 frank candid. 310 frank and free unconventional; a very vague phrase. 334 canonical gentleman parson, to conduct the marriage ceremony. 312 frank generous; sarcastic. 342 rakehells rakes. 313 menial family. 344 Your servant not a means of acknowledging the greeting, but a form for ending the 320 first day première of a play. conversation.

72 73 the country wife act iii scene ii pinchwife horner I have business, sir, and must mind it. Your business is pleasure, I thought so, for he is very like her I saw you at the play with, therefore you and I must go different ways. whom I told you I was in love with. horner mrs pinchwife (Aside) Well, you may go on, but this pretty young gentleman – 350 O Jeminy! Is this he that was in love with me? I am glad on’t, I 370 Takes hold of mrs pinchwife vow, for he’s a curious fine gentleman, and I love him already harcourt too. (To pinchwife) Is this he, bud? The lady – pinchwife dorilant Come away, come away! And the maid – horner horner Why, what haste are you in? Why won’t you let me talk with Shall stay with us, for I suppose their business is the same with him? 375 ours, pleasure. pinchwife pinchwife (Aside) Because you’ll debauch him. He’s yet young and innocent, and ’Sdeath, he knows her, she carries it so sillily! Yet if he does not, 355 I would not have him debauched for anything in the world. I should be more silly to discover it first. (Aside) How she gazes on him! The devil! alithea horner Pray, let us go, sir. Harcourt, Dorilant, look you here; this is the likeness of that pinchwife dowdy he told us of, his wife. Did you ever see a lovelier creature? 380 Come, come. The rogue has reason to be jealous of his wife, since she is like horner(To mrs pinchwife) him, for she would make all that see her in love with her. Had you not rather stay with us? – Prithee, Pinchwife, who is harcourt this pretty young gentleman? 360 And as I remember now, she is as like him here as can be. pinchwife dorilant One to whom I’m a guardian. (Aside) I wish I could keep her She is indeed very pretty, if she be like him. out of your hands. horner horner Very pretty? A very pretty commendation! She is a glorious 385 Who is he? I never saw anything so pretty in all my life. creature, beautiful beyond all things I ever beheld. pinchwife pinchwife Pshaw! do not look upon him so much; he’s a poor bashful So, so. youth, you’ll put him out of countenance. Come away, brother. 365 harcourt Offers to take her away More beautiful than a poet’s first mistress of imagination. horner horner Oh, your brother? Or another man’s last mistress of flesh and blood. pinchwife mrs pinchwife Yes, my wife’s brother. Come, come, she’ll stay supper for us. Nay, now you jeer sir; pray don’t jeer me – 390

348 mind attend to. 370 O Jeminy! corruption of Gemini; expression often used by unsophisticated characters. 355 carries it plays her part. 371 curious remarkably. 356 discover reveal. 380 dowdy unattractive woman. 367 stay delay. 390 jeer make fun (of).

74 75 the country wife act iii scene ii pinchwife that you have revived the love I had for her at first sight in the Come, come. (Aside) By heavens, she’ll discover herself. playhouse. horner mrs pinchwife I speak of your sister, sir. But did you love her indeed, and indeed? pinchwife pinchwife (Aside) Ay, but saying she was handsome, if like him, made him blush. So, so. – Away, I say. (Aside) I am upon a rack! horner horner Nay, stay. Yes, indeed, and indeed, pray do you tell her so, and 420 Methinks he is so handsome, he should not be a man. 395 give her this kiss from me. Kisses her pinchwife [Aside] pinchwife (Aside) Oh, there ’tis out, he has discovered her. I am not able to suffer O heavens! What do I suffer! Now ’tis too plain he knows her, any longer. (To his wife) Come, come away, I say. and yet – horner horner Nay, by your leave, sir, he shall not go yet. (To them) Harcourt, And this, and this – Kisses her again Dorilant, let us torment this jealous rogue a little. mrs pinchwife harcourt and dorilant What do you kiss me for? I am no woman. 425 How? 400 pinchwife (Aside) horner So, there ’tis out. – Come, I cannot, nor will stay any longer. I’ll show you. horner pinchwife Nay, they shall send your lady a kiss too. Here Harcourt, Come, pray let him go, I cannot stay fooling any longer; I tell Dorilant, will you not? They kiss her you his sister stays supper for us. pinchwife (Aside) horner How! do I suffer this? Was I not accusing another just now for Does she? Come then, we’ll all go sup with her and thee. this rascally patience, in permitting his wife to be kissed before 430 pinchwife his face? Ten thousand ulcers gnaw away their lips! Come, come. No, now I think on’t, having stayed so long for us, I warrant 405 horner she’s gone to bed. (Aside) I wish she and I were well out of their Good night, dear little gentleman; madam, goodnight; farewell, hands. – Come, I must rise early tomorrow, come. Pinchwife. (Apart to harcourt and dorilant) Did not I tell horner you I would raise his jealous gall? Well then, if she be gone to bed, I wish her and you a good Exeunt horner, harcourt and dorilant night. But pray, young gentleman, present my humble service pinchwife to her. 410 So, they are gone at last! Stay, let me see first if the coach be at 435 mrs pinchwife this door. Exit Thank you heartily, sir. horner, harcourt and dorilant return pinchwife (Aside) ’Sdeath! she will discover herself yet in spite of me. – He is horner some thing more civil to you, for your kindness to his sister, What, not gone yet? Will you be sure to do as I desired you, than I am, it seems. sweet sir? horner mrs pinchwife Tell her, dear sweet little gentleman, for all your brother there, 415 Sweet sir, but what will you give me then?

76 77 the country wife act iii scene ii horner harcourt Anything. Come away into the next walk. 440 Then you will not look upon, nor pity, my sufferings? Exit horner, haling away mrs pinchwife alithea alithea To look upon ’em, when I cannot help ’em, were cruelty not Hold, hold! What d’ye do? pity; therefore I will never see you more. lucy harcourt Stay, stay, hold – Let me then, madam, have my privilege of a banished lover, 460 harcourt complaining or railing, and giving you but a farewell reason why, Hold, madam, hold! Let him present him, he’ll come presently; if you cannot condescend to marry me, you should not take nay, I will never let you go till you answer my question. that wretch my rival. alithea, lucy, struggling with harcourt and dorilant alithea lucy He only, not you, since my honour is engaged so far to him, For god’s sake, sir, I must follow ’em. 445 can give me a reason, why I should not marry him. But if he be 465 dorilant true, and what I think him to me, I must be so to him. Your No, I have something to present you with too; you shan’t follow servant, sir. them. harcourt Have women only constancy when ’tis a vice, and, like fortune, pinchwife returns only true to fools? pinchwife dorilant (To lucy, who struggles to get from him) Where? – how? – what’s become of? – gone! – whither? Thou shalt not stir, thou robust creature! You see I can deal 470 lucy with you, therefore you should stay the rather, and be kind. He’s only gone with the gentleman, who will give him something, Enter pinchwife an’t please your worship. 450 pinchwife pinchwife Something! Give him something, with a pox! – Where are they? Gone, gone, not to be found! quite gone! Ten thousand plagues alithea go with ’em! Which way went they? In the next walk only, brother. alithea pinchwife But into t’other walk, brother. Only, only! Where, where? lucy Exit pinchwife and returns presently, then goes out again Their business will be done presently sure, an’t please your 475 harcourt worship; it can’t be long in doing, I’m sure on’t. What’s the matter with him? Why so much concerned? But alithea dearest madam – 455 Are they not there? alithea pinchwife Pray, let me go, sir; I have said and suffered enough already. No; you know where they are, you infamous wretch, eternal shame of your family, which you do not dishonour enough

440 walk gallery of the New Exchange. sd haling dragging. 443 present him give him a present. 468 like Q1–3 (are like Q4–5, O). presently immediately. 468–9 fortune, only true to fools See l. 283 above. 444 question that posed at ll. 333–5. 471 kind ready for sex; as at V.iv.98 450 an’t if it. 475 business For the innuendo, of which Lucy may be innocent, see II.i.544–5.

78 79 the country wife act iii scene ii

yourself, you think, but you must help her to do it too, thou 480 sir jaspar legion of bawds! O Master Horner, come, come, the ladies stay for you; your alithea mistress, my wife, wonders you make not more haste to her. 495 Good brother – horner pinchwife I have stayed this half hour for you here, and ’tis your fault I am Damned, damned sister! not now with your wife. alithea sir jaspar Look you here, she’s coming. But pray, don’t let her know so much. The truth on’t is, I was mrs pinchwife advancing a certain project to his majesty about – I’ll tell you. Enter in man’s clothes, running, horner with her hat under her arm, full of oranges and dried fruit; No, let’s go and hear it at your house. Good night, sweet little 500 horner following gentleman. One kiss more; you’ll remember me now, I hope. mrs pinchwife Kisses her O dear bud, look you here what I have got, see. 485 dorilant pinchwife (Aside, rubbing his forehead) What, Sir Jaspar, will you separate friends? He promised to sup And what I have got here too, which you can’t see. with us, and if you take him to your house, you’ll be in danger mrs pinchwife of our company too. The fine gentleman has given me better things yet. sir jaspar pinchwife Alas, gentlemen, my house is not fit for you; there are none but 505 Has he so? (Aside) Out of breath and coloured! I must hold yet. civil women there, which are not for your turn. He, you know, horner can bear with the society of civil women now, ha, ha, ha! I have only given your little brother an orange, sir. Besides, he’s one of my family – he’s – he, he, he! pinchwife (To horner) dorilant Thank you sir. (Aside) You have only squeezed my orange, I 490 What is he? suppose, and given it me again. Yet I must have a city-patience. sir jaspar (To his wife) Come, come away. Faith, my eunuch, since you’ll have it, he, he, he! 510 mrs pinchwife [Exeunt] sir jaspar fidget and horner Stay, till I have put up my fine things, bud. dorilant I rather wish thou wert his, or my cuckold. Harcourt, what a Enter sir jaspar fidget good cuckold is lost there for want of a man to make him one! Thee and I cannot have Horner’s privilege, who can make use of it. harcourt 484 sd oranges and dried fruit evidently China (sweet) oranges (IV.ii.11) and presumably Mediterranean dates and figs. An exotic and suggestive gift. Ay, to poor Horner ’tis like coming to an estate at three-score, 515 488 hold restrain myself. when a man can’t be the better for’t. 490 squeezed my orange debauched my wife. The sexual sense is clear in, for example, pinchwife John Crowne’s The Country Wit (1676), when Ramble says of his cuckold, ‘when I Come. had squeezed his orange, I gave him the rind again’ (II.iii). Orange wenches in the theatres were often prostitutes. 491 city-patience the patience of a city husband who will not admit he has been 499 project an absurd scheme, like those Sir Politick Would-be outlines in Volpone cuckolded. See I.i.8 and note. IV.i.46–125. 491–2 Pinchwife remains on stage, but does not hear the references to Horner’s supposed 506 civil respectable. For the innuendo, which does not occur to Sir Jaspar, see I.i.115–16. impotence (ll. 506–16). 511 rather wish wish rather.

80 81 the country wife mrs pinchwife act iv, scene i Presently, bud. dorilant Come, let us go too. (To alithea) Madam, your servant. (To lucy) Good night, strapper. 520 In pinchwife’s house in the morning. harcourt lucy, alithea dressed in new clothes Madam, though you will not let me have a good day, or night, lucy I wish you one; but dare not name the other half of my wish. alithea Well, madam, now have I dressed you, and set you out with so many ornaments, and spent upon you ounces of essence and Good night, sir, for ever. mrs pinchwife pulvilio; and all this for no other purpose but as people adorn and perfume a corpse for a stinking second-hand grave, such or I don’t know where to put this. Here, dear bud, you shall eat it. as bad I think Master Sparkish’s bed. 5 Nay, you shall have part of the fine gentleman’s good things, or 525 alithea treat as you call it, when we come home. pinchwife Hold your peace. lucy Indeed, I deserve it, since I furnished the best part of it. Nay, madam, I will ask you the reason why you would banish (Strikes away the orange) poor Master Harcourt for ever from your sight? How could you The gallant treats, presents, and gives the ball; be so hard-hearted? But ’tis the absent cuckold, pays for all. alithea [Exeunt] ’Twas because I was not hard-hearted. 10 lucy No, no; ’twas stark love and kindness, I warrant. alithea It was so. I would see him no more, because I love him. lucy Hey-day, a very pretty reason! alithea You do not understand me. lucy I wish you may yourself. 15 alithea I was engaged to marry, you see, another man, whom my justice will not suffer me to deceive or injure. lucy Can there be a greater cheat or wrong done to a man than to give him your person without your heart? I should make a conscience of it. 20

2 essence perfume. 3 pulvilio perfumed powder. 4 second-hand opened for a second burial (Dixon). 520 strapper strapping (tall and robust) girl. 19–20 make a conscience of it make it a matter of conscience not to.

82 83 the country wife act iv scene i alithea alithea I’ll retrieve it for him after I am married a while. He only that could suspect my virtue should have cause to do lucy it. ’Tis Sparkish’s confidence in my truth that obliges me to be The woman that marries to love better will be as much mis taken so faithful to him. as the wencher that marries to live better. No, madam, marry - lucy ing to increase love is like gaming to become rich; alas, you only You are not sure his opinion may last. 50 lose what little stock you had before. 25 alithea alithea I am satisfied ’tis impossible for him to be jealous, after the I find by your rhetoric you have been bribed to betray me. proofs I have had of him. Jealousy in a husband, heaven defend lucy me from it! It begets a thousand plagues to a poor woman, the Only by his merit, that has bribed your heart, you see, against loss of her honour, her quiet, and her – your word and rigid honour. But what a devil is this honour? lucy ’Tis sure a disease in the head, like the megrim, or falling sick- And her pleasure. 55 ness, that always hurries people away to do themselves mischief. 30 alithea Men lose their lives by it; women what’s dearer to ’em, their What d’ye mean, impertinent? love, the life of life. lucy alithea Liberty is a great pleasure, madam. Come, pray talk you no more of honour, nor Master Harcourt. alithea I wish the other would come, to secure my fidelity to him and I say, loss of her honour, her quiet, nay, her life sometimes; and his right in me. 35 what’s as bad almost, the loss of this town, that is, she is sent lucy into the country, which is the last ill usage of a husband to a 60 You will marry him then? wife, I think. alithea lucy (Aside) Certainly. I have given him already my word, and will my hand Oh, does the wind lie there? – Then of necessity, madam, you too, to make it good, when he comes. think a man must carry his wife into the country, if he be wise. lucy The country is as terrible, I find, to our young English ladies as Well, I wish I may never stick pin more if he be not an arrant a monastery to those abroad. And on my virginity, I think they 65 natural to t’other fine gentleman. 40 would rather marry a London jailer than a high sheriff of a alithea county, since neither can stir from his employment. Formerly I own he wants the wit of Harcourt, which I will dispense withal women of wit married fools for a great estate, a fine seat, or the for another want he has, which is want of jealousy; which men like; but now ’tis for a pretty seat only in Lincoln’s Inn Fields, of wit seldom want. St James’s Fields, or the Pall Mall. 70 lucy Lord, madam, what should you do with a fool to your husband? You intend to be honest, don’t you? Then that husbandly virtue, 45 59–61 Similarly Harriet, the heroine of The Man of Mode, is so in love with ‘this dear town’ credulity, is thrown away upon you. that she ‘can scarce endure the country in landscapes and in hangings’ (III.i.92–3). Such views would sound less extreme to the original London audience. 64–5 In L’École des Femmes Agnes has been not only brought up in the country but also 29 megrim migraine. educated at a convent. 29–30 falling sickness epilepsy. 69–70 Lincoln’s Inn Fields, St James’s Fields, or the Pall Mall fashionable places to live. The 39–40 arrant natural to obvious born fool compared with. earls of Bristol and Sandwich lived in Lincoln’s Inn Fields, the earls of Clarendon and 41 dispense withal do without. Oxford in St James’s Square, which had been laid out in St James’s Fields, and Sir 45 honest chaste. William Temple, Robert Boyle and Nell Gwyn in Pall Mall.

84 85 the country wife act iv scene i

Enter to them sparkish, sparkish and harcourt dressed like a parson Come, my dearest, pray let us go to church before the canonical sparkish hour is past. 90 alithea Madam, your humble servant, a happy day to you, and to us all. harcourt For shame, you are abused still. sparkish Amen. alithea By the world, ’tis strange now you are so incredulous. alithea Who have we here? sparkish ’Tis strange you are so credulous. sparkish My chaplain faith. O madam, poor Harcourt remembers his Dearest of my life, hear me. I tell you this is Ned Harcourt of humble service to you, and in obedience to your last commands, 75 Cambridge, by the world; you see he has a sneaking college 95 refrains coming into your sight. alithea look. ’Tis true he’s something like his brother Frank, and they differ from each other no more than in their age, for they were Is not that he? sparkish twins. lucy No, fie no; but to show that he ne’er intended to hinder our Ha, ha, he! match, has sent his brother here to join our hands. When I get alithea me a wife, I must get her a chaplain, according to the custom. 80 Your servant, sir; I cannot be so deceived, though you are. 100 This is his brother, and my chaplain. alithea But come, let’s hear, how do you know what you affirm so confidently? His brother? sparkish lucy (Aside) Why, I’ll tell you all. Frank Harcourt coming to me this morn- And your chaplain, to preach in your pulpit then! alithea ing to wish me joy and present his service to you, I asked him if he could help me to a parson. Whereupon he told me he had 105 His brother! sparkish a brother in town who was in orders, and he went straight away and sent him you see there, to me. Nay, I knew you would not believe it. – I told you, sir, she would 85 alithea take you for your brother Frank alithea Yes, Frank goes and puts on a black coat, then tells you he is Ned. That’s all you have for’t! Believe it! sparkish lucy (Aside) Pshaw, pshaw! I tell you by the same token, the midwife put 110 His brother! ha, ha, he! He has a trick left still, it seems. her garter about Frank’s neck to know ’em asunder, they were so like.

89–90 before the canonical hour is past before noon. The Anglican Book of Canons allowed marriages to be solemnised in church between 8 a.m. and noon. See also ll. 165–6 81 It seems Sparkish has engaged Harcourt permanently, as a domestic chaplain. and note. Macaulay describes the low status of such chaplains in The History of England, ch. 3. 95 Cambridge The clergy were educated at Oxford and Cambridge. complains of Wycherley’s abuse of the clergy here in A Short View, 95–6 sneaking college look OED sneaking a. 2 quotes J. Beaumont, Psyche (1648): ‘No p.100. conventicle’s sneaking cloisters hid those doctrines’. In Thomas Shadwell’s The 83 preach in your pulpit have sex with you (Farmer and Henley, under ‘pulpit’). The Humourists (1670) Sneak, a domestic chaplain, is also ‘a fellow of a college’ (dramatis aside is to Alithea. personae).

86 87 the country wife act iv scene i alithea sparkish Frank tells you this too? Gad, I’m sure none but a chaplain could speak so, I think. sparkish alithea Ay, and Ned there too. Nay, they are both in a story. Let me tell you sir, this dull trick will not serve your turn. 135 alithea Though you delay our marriage, you shall not hinder it. So, so; very foolish. 115 harcourt sparkish Far be it from me, munificent patroness, to delay your Lord, if you won’t believe one, you had best try him by your marriage. I desire nothing more than to marry you presently, chambermaid there; for chambermaids must needs know which I might do, if you yourself would; for my noble, good- chaplains from other men, they are so used to ’em. natured and thrice generous patron here would not hinder it. 140 lucy sparkish Let’s see; nay, I’ll be sworn he has the canonical smirk, and the No, poor man, not I, faith. filthy, clammy palm of a chaplain. 120 harcourt alithea And now, madam, let me tell you plainly, nobody else shall Well, most reverend doctor, pray let us make an end of this marry you. By heavens, I’ll die first, for I’m sure I should die fooling. after it. harcourt lucy [Aside] With all my soul, divine, heavenly creature, when you please. How his love has made him forget his function, as I have seen 145 alithea it in real parsons! He speaks like a chaplain indeed. alithea sparkish That was spoken like a chaplain too! Now you understand him, Why, was there not ‘soul’, ‘divine’, ‘heavenly’ in what he said? 125 I hope. alithea sparkish Once more, most impertinent black coat, cease your persecution, Poor man, he takes it heinously to be refused. I can’t blame and let us have a conclusion of this ridiculous love. him, ’tis putting an indignity upon him not to be suffered. But 150 harcourt (Aside) you’ll pardon me, madam, it shan’t be; he shall marry us. Come I had forgot – I must suit my style to my coat, or I wear it in away, pray, madam. vain. lucy [Aside] alithea Ha, ha, he! More ado! ’Tis late. I have no more patience left. Let us make once an end of this 130 alithea troublesome love, I say. Invincible stupidity! I tell you he would marry me as your rival, harcourt not as your chaplain. 155 So be it, seraphic lady, when your honour shall think it meet sparkish (Pulling her away) and convenient so to do. Come, come, madam.

114 in a story tell the same story. 117–18 Macaulay says ‘the relation between divines and handmaidens was a theme for 132 so to do Harcourt suits his style to his coat and echoes the communion service in the endless jest’ (History of England, ch. 3); Hunt quotes John Phillips, ‘There sits a Book of Common Prayer. ‘It is meet and right so to do’. Not being a genuine clergy - chamber maid upon a hassock / Whom th’ chaplain oft instructs without his cassock’ man, he echoes the congregation’s response. (Satyr against Hypocrites, 1655). But Lucy’s comments, especially at ll.145–6, suggest 143–4 die after it possibly, have orgasm after marriage. This was a common meaning of there was some truth in such allegations. ‘die’ at the time, though the standard meaning is clearer. 130 once once for all. 149 takes it heinously is grievously offended

88 89 the country wife act iv scene ii lucy mrs pinchwife I pray, madam, do not refuse this reverend divine the honour Lord, what pleasure you take to hear it, sure! and satisfaction of marrying you; for I dare say he has set his pinchwife heart upon’t, good doctor. No, you take more in telling it, I find. But speak – how was’t? alithea [To harcourt] mrs pinchwife What can you hope or design by this? 160 He carried me up into the house next to the Exchange. harcourt [Aside] pinchwife I could answer her, a reprieve for a day only often revokes a So, and you two were only in the room. hasty doom. At worst, if she will not take mercy on me and let me mrs pinchwife marry her, I have at least the lover’s second pleasure, hindering Yes, for he sent away a youth, that was there, for some dried 10 my rival’s enjoyment, though but for a time. fruit and China oranges. sparkish pinchwife Come, madam, ’tis e’en twelve o’clock, and my mother charged 165 Did he so? Damn him for it – and for – me never to be married out of the canonical hours. Come, come! mrs pinchwife Lord, here’s such a deal of modesty, I warrant, the first day. But presently came up the gentlewoman of the house. lucy pinchwife Yes, an’t please your worship, married women show all their Oh, ’twas well she did! But what did he do whilst the fruit came? modesty the first day, because married men show all their love mrs pinchwife the first day. 170 He kissed me an hundred times, and told me he fancied he 15 Exeunt sparkish, alithea, harcourt and lucy kissed my fine sister, meaning me, you know, whom he said he loved with all his soul, and bid me be sure to tell her so, and to desire her to be at her window by eleven of the clock this [act iV, scene ii] morning, and he would walk under it at that time. pinchwife (Aside) And he was as good as his word, very punctual, a pox reward 20 him for’t. The scene changes to a bedchamber, mrs pinchwife pinchwife mrs pinchwife where appear , Well, and he said if you were not within, he would come up to pinchwife her, meaning me, you know bud, still. Come, tell me, I say. pinchwife (Aside) mrs pinchwife So – he knew her certainly. But for this confession I am obliged Lord! ha’n’t I told it an hundred times over? to her simplicity. – But what, you stood very still when he 25 pinchwife (Aside) kissed you? I would try if, in the repetition of the ungrateful tale, I could mrs pinchwife find her altering it in the least circumstance; for if her story be Yes, I warrant you; would you have had me discovered myself? false, she is so too. – Come, how was’t, baggage? 5 165 e’en almost. Normally in such a phrase the meaning would be ‘precisely’, but Sparkish does not seem to think he has missed the canonical hours. 8 house public house. 165–6 my mother charged me perhaps a characteristic foppish expression; also used by Sir 9 you two were only only you two were. Simon Addleplot, Love in a Wood I.ii.203. 11 China oranges sweet oranges; a delicacy. The phrase links the bawdy associations of . oranges (III.ii.489–90 and note) and China (IV.iii.78 and note). 3 ungrateful disagreeable. 14 whilst until.

90 91 the country wife act iv scene ii pinchwife mrs pinchwife But you told me he did some beastliness to you, as you called it. Yes, bud. Exit mrs pinchwife What was’t? pinchwife (Aside) mrs pinchwife Why should women have more invention in love than men? It Why, he put – 30 can only be because they have more desires, more soliciting pinchwife passions, more lust, and more of the devil. 55 What? mrs pinchwife mrs pinchwife returns Why, he put the tip of his tongue between my lips, and so Come, minx, sit down and write. muzzled me – and I said, I’d bite it. mrs pinchwife pinchwife Ay, dear bud, but I can’t do’t very well. An eternal canker seize it, for a dog! pinchwife mrs pinchwife I wish you could not at all. Nay, you need not be so angry with him neither, for to say truth 35 mrs pinchwife he has the sweetest breath I ever knew. But what should I write for? pinchwife pinchwife The devil! You were satisfied with it then, and would do it I’ll have you write a letter to your lover. 60 again? mrs pinchwife mrs pinchwife O Lord, to the fine gentleman a letter! Not unless he should force me. pinchwife pinchwife Yes, to the fine gentleman. Force you, changeling! I tell you no woman can be forced. 40 mrs pinchwife mrs pinchwife Lord, you do but jeer; sure you jest. Yes, but she may sure by such a one as he, for he’s a proper, pinchwife goodly strong man; ’tis hard, let me tell you, to resist him. I am not so merry, come, write as I bid you. pinchwife [Aside] mrs pinchwife So, ’tis plain she loves him, yet she has not love enough to make What, do you think I am a fool? 65 her conceal it from me. But the sight of him will increase her pinchwife [Aside] aversion for me, and love for him; and that love instruct her 45 She’s afraid I would not dictate any love to him, therefore she’s how to deceive me and satisfy him, all idiot as she is. Love! unwilling. – But you had best begin. ’Twas he gave women first their craft, their art of deluding. Out mrs pinchwife of nature’s hands they came plain, open, silly, and fit for slaves, Indeed, and indeed, but I won’t, so I won’t! as she and heaven intended ’em, but damned Love – well – I pinchwife must strangle that little monster whilst I can deal with him. – 50 Why? Go fetch pen, ink, and paper out of the next room. mrs pinchwife Because he’s in town. You may send for him if you will. 70 pinchwife

33 muzzled kissed closely; ‘a low word’ (Johnson). Very well, you would have him brought to you; is it come to 34 for a dog for behaving like a dog. this? I say, take the pen and write, or you’ll provoke me. 40 changeling simpleton. 48 plain, open straightforward, without guile. 53 invention inventiveness. 50 little monster Cupid. 54 soliciting urgent. 68 so I won’t so there; childish expression.

92 93 the country wife act iv scene ii mrs pinchwife creature! Where is ‘nauseous’ and ‘loathed’? Lord, what d’ye make a fool of me for? Don’t I know that letters mrs pinchwife are never writ but from the country to London and from I can’t abide to write such filthy words. London into the country? Now, he’s in town and I am in town 75 pinchwife too; therefore I can’t write to him, you know. Once more write as I’d have you, and question it not, or I will pinchwife (Aside) spoil thy writing with this. (Holds up the penknife) I will stab 100 So, I am glad it is no worse; she is innocent enough yet. – Yes, out those eyes that cause my mischief. you may, when your husband bids you, write letters to people mrs pinchwife that are in town. O Lord, I will! mrs pinchwife pinchwife Oh, may I so? Then I’m satisfied. 80 So – so – Let’s see now! (Reads) ‘Though I suffered last night pinchwife your nauseous, loathed kisses and embraces’. – Go on – ‘Yet I Come, begin. (Dictates) ‘Sir’ – would not have you presume that you shall ever repeat them’. – 105 mrs pinchwife So – Shan’t I say ‘Dear Sir’? You know one says always something mrs pinchwife (She writes) more than bare ‘Sir’. I have writ it. pinchwife pinchwife Write as I bid you, or I will write ‘whore’ with this penknife in On then. – ‘I then concealed myself from your knowledge, to your face. 85 avoid your insolencies’ – mrs pinchwife mrs pinchwife (She writes) Nay, good bud. (She writes) ‘Sir’. So – 110 pinchwife pinchwife ‘Though I suffered last night your nauseous, loathed kisses and ‘The same reason, now I am out of your hands’ – embraces’ – Write. mrs pinchwife (She writes) mrs pinchwife So – Nay, why should I say so? You know I told you he had a sweet pinchwife breath. 90 ‘Makes me own to you my unfortunate, though innocent frolic, pinchwife of being in man’s clothes’ – Write! mrs pinchwife (She writes) mrs pinchwife So- 115 Let me but put out ‘loathed’. pinchwife pinchwife ‘that you may for ever more cease to pursue her, who hates and Write, I say. detests you’ – mrs pinchwife mrs pinchwife (She writes on. Sighs) Well, then. (Writes) Soh – pinchwife pinchwife Let’s see what you have writ. (Takes the paper and reads) ‘Though 95 What, do you sigh? – ‘detests you – as much as she loves her I suffered last night your kisses and embraces’. – Thou impudent husband and her honour’. 120 mrs pinchwife 83 bare merely. But perhaps the word provokes Pinchwife. 84–5 Possibly echoes Othello: ‘Was this fair paper, this most goodly book, / Made to write I vow, husband, he’ll ne’er believe I should write such a letter. “whore” upon?’ (Othello IV.ii.73–4). 92 put out cross out.

94 95 the country wife act iv scene ii pinchwife me, who am, dear, dear, poor dear Master Horner, your most What, he’d expect a kinder from you? Come now, your name humble friend, and servant to command till death, Margery only. Pinchwife’. – Stay, I must give him a hint at bottom – so – now 155 mrs pinchwife wrap it up just like t’other – so – now write ‘For Master Horner’. What, shan’t I say ‘Your most faithful, humble servant till death’? – But, oh now, what shall I do with it? For here comes my pinchwife husband. No, tormenting fiend! (Aside) Her style, I find, would be very 125 Enter pinchwife soft. – Come, wrap it up now, whilst I go fetch wax and a candle, and write on the back side ‘For Master Horner’. pinchwife (Aside) Exit pinchwife I have been detained by a sparkish coxcomb, who pretended a mrs pinchwife visit to me; but I fear ’twas to my wife. – What, have you done? 160 ‘For Master Horner’ – So I am glad he has told me his name. mrs pinchwife Dear Master Horner! But why should I send thee such a letter Ay, ay, bud, just now. that will vex thee and make thee angry with me? – Well, I will 130 pinchwife not send it. – Ay, but then my husband will kill me – for I see Let’s see’t. What d’ye tremble for? What, you would not have plainly, he won’t let me love Master Horner – but what care I it go? for my husband? – I won’t, so I won’t send poor Master Horner mrs pinchwife such a letter – but then my husband – But oh, what if I writ at Here. (Aside) No, I must not give him that. (He opens and reads bottom, my husband made me write it? – Ay, but then my 135 the first letter) So I had been served if I had given him this. 165 husband would see’t – Can one have no shift? Ah, a London pinchwife woman would have had a hundred presently. Stay – what if I Come, where’s the wax and seal! should write a letter, and wrap it up like this, and write upon’t mrs pinchwife (Aside) too? Ay, but then my husband would see’t – I don’t know what Lord, what shall I do now? Nay, then, I have it. – Pray, let me to do – But yet i’vads I’ll try, so I will – for I will not send this 140 see’t. Lord, you think me so arrant a fool I cannot seal a letter? letter to poor Master Horner, come what will on’t. I will do’t, so I will. (She writes, and repeats what she hath writ) Snatches the letter from him, changes it for the other, ‘Dear Sweet Master Horner’ – so – ‘My husband would have me seals it, and delivers it to him send you a base, rude, unmannerly letter – but I won’t’ – so – pinchwife ‘and would have me forbid you loving me – but I won’t’ – so – Nay, I believe you will learn that, and other things too, which I 170 ‘and would have me say to you, I hate you poor Master Horner 145 would not have you. – but I won’t tell a lie for him’ – there – ‘for I’m sure if you and mrs pinchwife I were in the country at cards together’ – so – ‘I could not help So. Ha’n’t I done it curiously? (Aside) I think I have; there’s my treading on your toe under the table’ – so – ‘or rubbing knees letter going to Master Horner, since he’ll needs have me send with you, and staring in your face till you saw me’ – very well – letters to folks. ‘and then looking down and blushing for an hour together’ – so 150 pinchwife – ‘but I must make haste before my husband come; and now he ’Tis very well; but I warrant, you would not have it go now? 175 has taught me to write letters, you shall have longer ones from 155 hint at bottom i.e., the postscript read by Horner at IV.iii.286–9. 122 kinder more loving. 159 sparkish coxcomb fop, like Sparkish himself. See note to ‘The Persons’, p. 3. 125 style formal conclusion. 164 that i.e., the second letter. She almost hands him the wrong one. 126 soft mollifying. 165 That is what would have happened if I had given him the second letter, i.e., he would 136 shift expedient. have read it. 140 i’vads in faith; rustic oath. 172 curiously carefully.

96 97 the country wife act iv scene iii mrs pinchwife horner Yes, indeed, but I would, bud, now. Already, I say. Last night I was drunk with half a dozen of your pinchwife civil persons, as you call ’em, and people of honour, and so was Well you are a good girl then. Come, let me lock you up in your made free of their society and dressing rooms for ever here - 10 chamber till I come back. And be sure you come not within after; and am already come to the privileges of sleeping upon three strides of the window when I am gone, for I have a spy in their pallets, warming smocks, tying shoes and garters, and the the street. 180 like, doctor, already, already, doctor. Exit mrs pinchwife; pinchwife locks the door quack At least, ’tis fit she think so. If we do not cheat women, they’ll You have made use of your time, sir. cheat us; and fraud may be justly used with secret enemies, of horner which a wife is the most dangerous. And he that has a hand- I tell thee, I am now no more interruption to ’em when they 15 some one to keep, and a frontier town, must provide against sing or talk bawdy than a little squab French page who speaks treachery rather than open force. Now I have secured all within 185 no English. I’ll deal with the foe without with false intelligence. quack Holds up the letter But do civil persons and women of honour drink and sing Exit pinchwife bawdy songs? horner Oh, amongst friends, amongst friends. For your bigots in 20 [act iV, scene iii] honour are just like those in religion. They fear the eye of the world more than the eye of heaven, and think there is no virtue but railing at vice, and no sin but giving scandal. They rail at a poor, little, kept player, and keep themselves some young, The scene changes to horner’s lodging quack horner modest pulpit comedian to be privy to their sins in their closets, 25 and not to tell ’em of them in their chapels. quack quack Well, sir, how fadges the new design? Have you not the luck of Nay, the truth on’t is, priests amongst the women now have all your brother projectors, to deceive only yourself at last? quite got the better of us lay confessors, physicians. horner horner No, good domine doctor, I deceive you, it seems, and others And they are rather their patients, but – too, for the grave matrons and old rigid husbands think me as Enter my lady fidget, looking about her unfit for love as they are. But their wives, sisters and daughters 5 know some of ’em better things already. Now we talk of women of honour, here comes one. Step behind 30 quack the screen there, and but observe if I have not particular privi - Already! leges with the women of reputation already, doctor, already. [quack steps behind screen] 184 and and she; frontier town, i.e. likely to fall by treachery. lady fidget 186 false intelligence disinformation. Well, Horner, am not I a woman of honour? You see, I’m as . 1 fadges gets on. good as my word. 2 projectors schemers. Sir Jaspar, for example, has boasted of ‘a certain project’ of his (III.ii.499), presumably a crazy scheme. 12 pallets straw mattresses or inferior beds. 3 domine master; polite address to a member of a learned profession, here used 16 squab chubby; perhaps also shy (Dixon). ironically. 24 kept player See II.i.323–7 and notes. 25 pulpit comedian domestic chaplain. See IV.i.79–83 and notes.

98 99 the country wife act iv scene iii horner lady fidget And you shall see, madam, I’ll not be behindhand with you in 35 Oh no, sir, not that way. 65 honour. And I’ll be as good as my word too, if you please but to horner withdraw into the next room. Nay, the devil take me, if censorious women are to be silenced lady fidget any other way! But first, my dear sir, you must promise to have a care of my lady fidget dear honour. A secret is better kept, I hope, by a single person than a horner multitude. Therefore pray do not trust anybody else with it, If you talk a word more of your honour, you’ll make me 40 dear, dear Master Horner. (Embracing him) 70 incapable to wrong it. To talk of honour in the mysteries of love Enter sir jaspar fidget is like talking of heaven or the deity in an operation of witch - craft, just when you are employing the devil; it makes the sir jaspar charm impotent. How now! lady fidget lady fidget (Aside) Nay, fie, let us not be smutty. But you talk of mysteries and 45 O my husband! – prevented! – and what’s almost as bad, found bewitching to me; I don’t understand you. with my arms about another man – that will appear too much horner – what shall I say? – Sir Jaspar, come hither. I am trying if I tell you, madam, the word ‘money’ in a mistress’s mouth, at Master Horner were ticklish, and he’s as ticklish as can be. I love 75 such a nick of time, is not a more disheartening sound to a to torment the confounded toad. Let you and I tickle him. younger brother than that of honour to an eager lover like sir jaspar myself. 50 No, your ladyship will tickle him better without me, I suppose. lady fidget But is this your buying china? I thought you had been at the But you can’t blame a lady of my reputation to be chary. china house? horner horner (Aside) Chary! I have been chary of it already, by the report I have China house! That’s my cue, I must take it. – A pox! Can’t you 80 caused of myself. keep your impertinent wives at home? Some men are troubled lady fidget with the husbands, but I with the wives. But I’d have you to Ay, but if you should ever let other women know that dear know, since I cannot be your journeyman by night, I will not be secret, it would come out. Nay, you must have a great care of 55 your drudge by day, to squire your wife about and be your man your conduct, for my acquaintance are so censorious – oh ’tis a of straw, or scarecrow, only to pies and jays that would be 85 wicked censorious world, Master Horner! – I say, are so cen- 70 sd Embracing him Q1–3 (omitted, Q4–5, O). Perhaps in later productions the scene sorious and detracting that perhaps they’ll talk to the prejudice was played in a less sexy manner. of my honour, though you should not let them know the dear 78 buying china Collecting china was fashionable, but an association between china, secret. 60 Horner, and sex, first hinted at IV.ii.11, develops from here to l. 186 below. China was horner usually associated with women and virginity; see Aubrey Williams, ‘The “Fall” of China and The Rape of the Lock’, Philological Quarterly, vol. 41 (1962), 412–25, Nay, madam, rather than they shall prejudice your honour, I’ll reprinted in The Rape of the Lock, A Selection of Critical Essays, ed. John Dixon Hunt prejudice theirs; and to serve you, I’ll lie with ’em all, make the (1968). secret their own, and then they’ll keep it: I am a Machiavel in 79 china house china shop. A likely place for an assignation – see V.iv.132 – though the love, madam. thought does not strike Sir Jaspar. 83 journeyman hireling. The term often had sexual connotations, as here. 84 drudge hard worker; another term with sexual connotations. See Shakespeare, 49 younger brother traditionally short of money, since elder brothers inherited. Sonnet 151, for an especially clear example. 63 Machiavel Machiavellian, unscrupulous plotter. 85 pies magpies; pies and jays fops.

100 101 the country wife act iv scene iii

nibbling at your forbidden fruit. I shall be shortly the hackney by my Lord Mayor she shall! Though I cannot furnish you gentleman-usher of the town. myself, you are sure, yet I’ll find a way. sir jaspar (Aside) sir jaspar (Aside) He, he, he! Poor fellow, he’s in the right on’t, faith! To squire Ha, ha, he! At my first coming in and finding her arms about 110 women about for other folks is as ungrateful an employment as him, tickling him it seems, I was half jealous, but now I see my to tell money for other folks. – He, he, he! Ben’t angry, Horner. 90 folly. – He, he, he! Poor Horner. lady fidget horner [Aside] No, ’tis I have more reason to be angry, who am left by you Nay, though you laugh now, ’twill be my turn ere long. – Oh, to go abroad indecently alone; or, what is more indecent, to women, more impertinent, more cunning and more mischiev - pin myself upon such ill-bred people of your acquaintance as ous than their monkeys, and to me almost as ugly! Now is she 115 this is. throwing my things about, and rifling all I have, but I’ll get into sir jaspar her the back way, and so rifle her for it. Nay, prithee, what has he done? 95 sir jaspar lady fidget Ha, ha, ha! Poor angry Horner. Nay, he has done nothing. horner sir jaspar Stay here a little, I’ll ferret her out to you presently, I warrant. But what d’ye take ill, if he has done nothing? Exit horner at t’other door. lady fidget sir jaspar Ha, ha, ha! Faith, I can’t but laugh, however. Why, d’ye think the Wife! My Lady Fidget! Wife! He is coming into you the back 120 unmannerly toad would come down to me to the coach? I was way! sir jaspar calls through the door to his wife; fain to come up to fetch him, or go without him, which I was 100 she answers from within resolved not to do; for he knows china very well, and has lady fidget himself very good, but will not let me see it lest I should beg Let him come, and welcome, which way he will. some. But I will find it out, and have what I came for yet. sir jaspar Exit lady fidget and locks the door, He’ll catch you, and use you roughly, and be too strong for you. followed by horner to the door lady fidget horner (Apart to lady fidget) Don’t you trouble yourself, let him if he can. Lock the door, madam. – So, she has got into my chamber and quack (Behind) locked me out. Oh, the impertinency of womankind! Well, Sir 105 This indeed I could not have believed from him, nor any but 125 Jaspar, plain dealing is a jewel. If ever you suffer your wife to my own eyes. trouble me again here, she shall carry you home a pair of horns, Enter mrs squeamish

86 hackney hired. 115 monkeys fashionable pets. 87 gentleman-usher See II.i.453 note. 117 the back way perhaps already a double entendre referring to anal intercourse, as in 89 ungrateful thankless. This echoes Pinchwife, IV.ii.3. ll. 120–2. See note on l. 119 and Richard Levin, Notes and Queries, vol. 208 (1963), 90 tell count. 338–40 and 428–9. Levin does not mention Wycherley’s likely source in Volpone 92 indecently unbecomingly. II.vi.58–61. 96, 97 nothing word with bawdy associations unknown to Sir Jaspar. For instance in Hamlet rifle double entendre: ‘to coit with, or to caress sexually, a woman’ (Partridge). ‘nothing’ is ‘a fair thought to lie between maids’ legs’ (III.ii.112–13). 119 ferret her out get her out as a ferret does, by going in at one hole so that the creature 99 would come down to me to the coach? Q5 (would not come down to me to the coach, comes out at another; probably with bawdy associations, as in Shakespeare’s Henry V: O). Rhetorical question. ‘I’ll . . . firk him, and ferret him’ (IV.iv.27–8). 106 plain dealing is a jewel proverbial. On the evidence of The Plain Dealer it may be 120–2 See l. 117, note. doubted if Wycherley himself wholly accepted the idea.

102 103 the country wife act iv scene iii squeamish sir jaspar Where’s this woman-hater, this toad, this ugly, greasy, dirty Yes. sloven? old lady squeamish sir jaspar [Aside] Ay, but where is she then? where is she? Lord, Sir Jaspar, I have So the women all will have him ugly. Methinks he is a comely e’en rattled myself to pieces in pursuit of her. But can you tell 150 person, but his wants make his form contemptible to ’em; and 130 what she makes here? They say below, no woman lodges here. ’tis e’en as my wife said yesterday, talking of him, that a proper sir jaspar handsome eunuch was as ridiculous a thing as a gigantic No. coward. old lady squeamish squeamish No! What does she here then? Say, if it be not a woman’s Sir Jaspar, your servant. Where is the odious beast? lodging, what makes she here? But are you sure no woman sir jaspar lodges here? 155 He’s within in his chamber, with my wife; she’s playing the wag 135 sir jaspar with him. No, nor no man neither, this is Master Horner’s lodging. squeamish old lady squeamish Is she so? And he’s a clownish beast, he’ll give her no quarter, Is it so, are you sure? he’ll play the wag with her again, let me tell you. Come, let’s go sir jaspar help her. – What, the door’s locked? Yes, yes. sir jaspar old lady squeamish Ay, my wife locked it. 140 So – then there’s no hurt in’t, I hope. But where is he? squeamish sir jaspar Did she so? Let us break it open then. He’s in the next room with my wife. 160 sir jaspar old lady squeamish No, no, he’ll do her no hurt. Nay, if you trust him with your wife, I may with my Biddy. They squeamish say he’s a merry harmless man now, e’en as harmless a man as No. (Aside) But is there no other way to get into ’em? Whither ever came out of Italy with a good voice, and as pretty harmless goes this? I will disturb ’em. company for a lady as a snake without his teeth. Exit squeamish at another door sir jaspar Ay, ay, poor man. 165 Enter old lady squeamish mrs squeamish old lady squeamish Enter Where is this harlotry, this impudent baggage, this rambling 145 squeamish tomrig? O Sir Jaspar, I’m glad to see you here. Did you not see I can’t find ’em. – Oh, are you here, grandmother? I followed, my vild grandchild come in hither just now? you must know, my Lady Fidget hither. ’Tis the prettiest lodging, and I have been staring on the prettiest pictures. 135 playing the wag being amusingly mischievous, and/or having sex. See Partridge, Shakespeare’s Bawdy, under ‘wag’. As he was at I.i.62–3 Sir Jaspar is innocent of any Enter lady fidget with a piece of china in her hand, bawdy meaning, but Mrs Squeamish’s repetition of the phrase at l. 138 suggests that and horner following her understanding is not altogether literal, contrary to what Horner says at l. 189. 145 harlotry harlot; vaguely abusive. rambling See II.i.359 note. 151 what she makes what she is doing. 146 tomrig bold or immodest woman (OED, tomboy, 2). 161 Biddy young woman (Partridge); or abbreviation of Bridget. 147 vild ed. (vil’d Q1–5, O) vile, depraved (OED). I have retained the archaic form, as 162–3 as harmless . . . good voice as harmless as a castrato. These singers were very fashionable. suited to Old Lady Squeamish. 168 pictures perhaps pornographic. See I.i.80 and note.

104 105 the country wife act iv scene iii lady fidget old lady squeamish And I have been toiling and moiling for the prettiest piece of Poor Master Horner, he has enough to do to please you all, 190 china, my dear. 170 Isee. horner horner Nay, she has been too hard for me, do what I could. Ay, madam, you see how they use me. squeamish old lady squeamish O Lord, I’ll have some china too. Good Master Horner, don’t Poor gentleman, I pity you. think to give other people china, and me none. Come in with horner me too. I thank you madam. I could never find pity but from such horner reverend ladies as you are. The young ones will never spare 195 Upon my honour I have none left now. 175 aman. squeamish squeamish Nay, nay, I have known you deny your china before now, but Come, come, beast, and go dine with us, for we shall want a you shan’t put me off so. Come. man at ombre after dinner. horner horner This lady had the last there. That’s all their use of me, madam, you see. lady fidget squeamish Yes indeed, madam, to my certain knowledge he has no more Come, sloven, I’ll lead you, to be sure of you. 200 left. 180 Pulls him by the cravat squeamish old lady squeamish Oh, but it may be he may have some you could not find. Alas, poor man, how she tugs him! Kiss, kiss her! That’s the way lady fidget to make such nice women quiet. What, d’ye think if he had had any left, I would not have had it horner too? For we women of quality never think we have china No, madam, that remedy is worse than the torment. They know enough. I dare suffer anything rather than do it. horner old lady squeamish Do not take it ill, I cannot make china for you all, but I will have 185 Prithee kiss her, and I’ll give you her picture in little, that you 205 a roll-wagon for you too, another time. admired so last night. Prithee, do! squeamish horner Thank you, dear toad. Well, nothing but that could bribe me. I love a woman only in lady fidget (To horner, aside) effigy, and good painting, as much as I hate them. I’ll do’t, for What do you mean by that promise? I could adore the devil well painted. horner (Apart to lady fidget) Kisses mrs squeamish Alas, she has an innocent, literal understanding. squeamish Foh! you filthy toad! Nay, now I’ve done jesting. 210 169 toiling and moiling working hard. old lady squeamish 186 roll-wagon a cylindrical china vase, somewhat phallic in appearance. See R.J. Ha, ha, ha! I told you so. Charleston, Apollo, vol. 65 (1957), 251. 187–9 As Horner replies to Lady Fidget in an aside, her question is presumably an aside to him. But in Q1 the sd ‘To Horn, aside’ is moved to the line above, presumably to save space, and this arrangement persists in Q2–5, O, even where there is no need 197–8 want a man at ombre See II.i.429 and note. to save space. Hence some editors give the aside to Mrs Squeamish, but there seems 202 nice fastidious about reputation. to be no reason why she should not speak openly. 205 picture in little miniature.

106 107 the country wife act iv scene iii squeamish pinchwife Foh! a kiss of his – Because I do know you so well. sir jaspar horner Has no more hurt in’t than one of my spaniel’s. Ha’n’t I been always thy friend, honest Jack, always ready to squeamish serve thee, in love or battle, before thou wert married, and am Nor no more good neither. so still? 235 quack (Behind) pinchwife I will now believe anything he tells me. 215 I believe so. You would be my second now indeed. horner Enter pinchwife Well, then, dear Jack, why so unkind, so grum, so strange to me? lady fidget Come, prithee kiss me, dear rogue. Gad, I was always, I say, and O Lord, here’s a man! Sir Jaspar, my mask, my mask! I would am still as much thy servant as – not be seen here for the world. pinchwife sir jaspar As I am yours, sir. What, you would send a kiss to my wife, is 240 What, not when I am with you? that it? lady fidget horner No, no, my honour – let’s be gone. So, there ’tis. A man can’t show his friendship to a married squeamish man, but presently he talks of his wife to you. Prithee, let thy Oh, grandmother, let us be gone. Make haste, make haste! I 220 wife alone, and let thee and I be all one, as we were wont. What, know not how he may censure us! thou art as shy of my kindness as a Lombard Street alderman of 245 lady fidget a courtier’s civility at Locket’s. Be found in the lodging of anything like a man! Away! pinchwife Exeunt sir jaspar, lady fidget, But you are overkind to me, as kind as if I were your cuckold old lady squeamish, mrs squeamish already. Yet I must confess you ought to be kind and civil to me, quack (Behind) since I am so kind, so civil to you, as to bring you this. Look you What’s here, another cuckold? He looks like one, and none else there, sir. Delivers him a letter 250 sure have any business with him. horner horner What is’t? Well, what brings my dear friend hither? 225 pinchwife pinchwife Only a love letter, sir. Your impertinency. horner horner From whom? – How! this is from your wife! (Reads) My impertinency! Why, you gentlemen that have got handsome 234 battle duels; or so understood by Pinchwife, l. 236. wives think you have a privilege of saying anything to your 237 strange distant. friends, and are as brutish as if you were our creditors. 238 kiss me On this custom among fashionable gentlemen the Orange-Woman in The pinchwife Man of Mode comments: ‘Lord what a filthy trick these men have got of kissing one No, sir, I’ll ne’er trust you any way. 230 another! She spits’ (I.i.61–2). horner 244 all one friends. 245 shy suspicious. But why not, dear Jack? Why diffide in me thou know’st so well? Lombard Street alderman a banker or moneylender, who would suspect a courtier of avoiding a debt, or wanting a loan, or trying to cuckold him. 246 Locket’s fashionable restaurant . 231 diffide in distrust. 247–8 See I.i.433.

108 109 the country wife act iv scene iii

Hum – and hum – pinchwife pinchwife Does the letter want a comment? Then know, sir, though I have 280 Even from my wife, sir. Am I not wondrous kind and civil to 255 been so civil a husband as to bring you a letter from my wife, to you now too? (Aside) But you’ll not think her so! let you kiss and court her to my face, I will not be a cuckold, sir, horner (Aside) I will not. Ha! Is this a trick of his or hers? horner pinchwife Thou art mad with jealousy. I never saw thy wife in my life, but The gentleman’s surprised, I find. What, you expected a kinder at the play yesterday, and I know not if it were she or no. I court 285 letter? her, kiss her! horner pinchwife No, faith, not I, how could I? 260 I will not be a cuckold, I say. There will be danger in making me pinchwife a cuckold. Yes, yes, I’m sure you did. A man so well made as you are must horner needs be disappointed, if the women declare not their passion Why, wert thou not well cured of thy last clap? at first sight or opportunity. pinchwife horner (Aside) I wear a sword. 290 But what should this mean? Stay, the postscript. (Reads)‘Be horner sure you love me whatsoever my husband says to the contrary, 265 It should be taken from thee lest thou should’st do thyself a and let him not see this, lest he should come home and pinch mischief with it. Thou art mad, man. me, or kill my squirrel’. It seems he knows not what the letter pinchwife contains. As mad as I am, and as merry as you are, I must have more pinchwife reason from you ere we part. I say again, though you kissed and Come, ne’er wonder at it so much. courted last night my wife in man’s clothes, as she confesses in 295 horner her letter – Faith, I can’t help it. 270 horner (Aside) pinchwife Ha! Now, I think I have deserved your infinite friendship and pinchwife kindness and have showed myself sufficiently an obliging friend Both she and I say, you must not design it again, for you have and husband. Am I not so, to bring a letter from my wife to her mistaken your woman, as you have done your man. gallant? horner (Aside) horner Oh! I understand something now. – Was that thy wife? Why 300 Ay, the devil take me, art thou the most obliging, kind friend 275 would’st thou not tell me ’twas she? Faith, my freedom with her and husband in the world, ha, ha! was your fault, not mine. pinchwife pinchwife (Aside) Well, you may be merry, sir, but in short I must tell you, sir, my Faith, so ’twas. honour will suffer no jesting. horner horner Fie! I’d never do’t to a woman before her husband’s face, sure. What dost thou mean? 289 clap gonorrhoea. 294 reason explanation. 300 something i.e., that Pinchwife thinks he has brought a different letter. He pretends he 267 squirrel a fashionable pet. has just understood that it was Mrs Pinchwife in man’s clothes. 277 merry facetious.

110 111 the country wife act iv scene iii pinchwife horner But I had rather you should do’t to my wife before my face than 305 I wonder how she could contrive it! What say’st thou to’t? ’Tis behind my back, and that you shall never do. an original. horner quack No – you will hinder me. So are your cuckolds, too, originals, for they are like no other pinchwife common cuckolds, and I will henceforth believe it not impos- 330 If I would not hinder you, you see by her letter, she would. sible for you to cuckold the Grand Signior amidst his guards of horner eunuchs, that I say – Well, I must e’en acquiesce then, and be contented with what horner she writes. 310 And I say for the letter, ’tis the first love letter that ever was pinchwife without flames, darts, fates, destinies, lying and dissembling in’t. I’ll assure you ’twas voluntarily writ. I had no hand in’t, you Enter sparkish pulling in pinchwife may believe me. horner sparkish I do believe thee, faith. Come back, you are a pretty brother-in-law, neither go to 335 pinchwife church, nor to dinner with your sister bride. And believe her too, for she’s an innocent creature, has no pinchwife dissembling in her; and so fare you well, sir. 315 My sister denies her marriage, and you see is gone away from horner you dissatisfied. Pray, however, present my humble service to her, and tell her I sparkish will obey her letter to a tittle, and fulfil her desires, be what they Pshaw! upon a foolish scruple that our parson was not in lawful will, or with what difficulty soever I do’t, and you shall be no orders, and did not say all the Common Prayer. But ’tis her 340 more jealous of me, I warrant her, and you – modesty only, I believe. But let women be never so modest the pinchwife first day, they’ll be sure to come to themselves by night, and I Well, then, fare you well, and play with any man’s honour but 320 shall have enough of her then. In the meantime, Harry Horner, mine, kiss any man’s wife but mine, and welcome. you must dine with me. I keep my wedding at my aunt’s in the Exit pinchwife Piazza. 345 horner horner Ha, ha, ha! Doctor. Thy wedding! What stale maid has lived to despair of a hus - quack band, or what young one of a gallant? It seems he has not heard the report of you, or does not believe it. sparkish horner Oh, your servant, sir – this gentleman’s sister then – no stale Ha, ha! Now, doctor, what think you? maid. quack Pray let’s see the letter – hum – (Reads the letter) ‘for – dear – 325 328 an original her own work, not a copy. The same word is used by Ergaste of Isabelle’s love you’ – letter in L’École des Maris II.v. 331 Grand Signior Sultan of Turkey; also mentioned at II.i.428. 332 that I say that’s what I say (Dixon). 340 Common Prayer marriage service in the Anglican Book of Common Prayer. 345 Piazza arcade near Covent Garden. V.iii is located there. 346 Thy wedding! Horner knows about the wedding but had thought (ll. 353–4 below) 307 sarcastic reference to Pinchwife’s boasted sword (l. 290). Harcourt might have prevented it. 317 to a tittle in every particular. 348 stale past her best.

112 113 the country wife act iv scene iii horner horner I’m sorry for’t. 350 And his wife? pinchwife (Aside) sparkish How comes he so concerned for her? No, gad, he’ll ne’er let her come amongst us good fellows. Your sparkish stingy country coxcomb keeps his wife from his friends as he You sorry for’t? Why, do you know any ill by her? does his little firkin of ale for his own drinking, and a gentle- 375 horner man can’t get a smack on’t. But his servants, when his back is No, I know none but by thee. ’Tis for her sake, not yours, and turned, broach it at their pleasures, and dust it away, ha, ha, ha! another man’s sake that might have hoped, I thought – Gad, I am witty, I think, considering I was married today, by the sparkish world. But come – Another man! Another man! What is his name? 355 horner horner No, I will not dine with you, unless you can fetch her too. 380 Nay, since ’tis past he shall be nameless. (Aside) Poor Harcourt! sparkish I am sorry thou hast missed her. Pshaw! what pleasure canst thou have with women now Harry? pinchwife (Aside) horner He seems to be much troubled at the match. My eyes are not gone; I love a good prospect yet, and will not sparkish dine with you unless she does too. Go fetch her, therefore, but Prithee tell me – nay, you shan’t go, brother. do not tell her husband ’tis for my sake. pinchwife sparkish I must of necessity, but I’ll come to you to dinner. 360 Well, I’ll go try what I can do. In the meantime come away to 385 Exit pinchwife my aunt’s lodging, ’tis in the way to Pinchwife’s. sparkish horner [Aside to quack] But Harry, what, have I rival in my wife already? But with all my The poor woman has called for aid, and stretched forth her heart, for he may be of use to me hereafter. For though my hand, doctor. I cannot but help her over the pale out of the hunger is now my sauce, and I can fall on heartily without, but briars. the time will come when a rival will be as good sauce for a Exeunt sparkish, horner, quack married man to a wife as an orange to veal. 365 horner O thou damned rogue, thou hast set my teeth on edge with thy orange! sparkish Then let’s to dinner – there I was with you again. Come. horner But who dines with thee? sparkish My friends and relations, my brother Pinchwife, you see, of 370 your acquaintance. 375 firkin cask. 376 smack taste. 377 dust it away toss it off; with a sexual innuendo. 388 pale (literally) fence, (metaphorically) boundary, especially boundary of civilisation. 357 missed lost. 389 briars (literally) prickly bushes, (metaphorically) difficulties, ‘with conscious refer - 368 was with you had you. ence to the literal sense’ (OED brier sb.1 4).

114 115 the country wife act iv scene iv

[act iV, scene iv] in the arms of another man, whom I loathe, nauseate, and detest’ – Now you can write these filthy words! But what follows? – ‘Therefore I hope you will speedily find some way to free me from this unfortunate match, which was never, I assure The scene changes to pinchwife’s house mrs pinchwife you, of my choice, but I’m afraid ’tis already too far gone. 25 alone leaning on her elbow. However, if you love me, as I do you, you will try what you can A table, pen, ink, and paper do, but you must help me away before tomorrow, or else, alas, mrs pinchwife I shall be for ever out of your reach, for I can defer no longer Well, ’tis e’en so, I have got the London disease they call love. I our’ – (The letter concludes) ‘Our’? What is to follow ‘our’? am sick of my husband, and for my gallant. I have heard this Speak, what? Our journey into the country I suppose? Oh, 30 distemper called a fever, but methinks ’tis liker an ague, for woman, damned woman! And love, damned love, their old when I think of my husband I tremble and am in a cold sweat, tempter! For this is one of his miracles. In a moment he can and have inclinations to vomit, but when I think of my gallant, 5 make those blind that could see, and those see that were blind, dear Master Horner, my hot fit comes and I am all in a fever, those dumb that could speak, and those prattle who were dumb indeed, and as in other fevers my own chamber is tedious to before; nay, what is more than all, make these dough-baked, 35 me, and I would fain be removed to his, and then methinks I senseless, indocile animals, women, too hard for us, their should be well. Ah, poor Master Horner! Well, I cannot, will not politic lords and rulers, in a moment. But make an end of your stay here. Therefore I’ll make an end of my letter to him, which 10 letter and then I’ll make an end of you thus, and all my plagues shall be a finer letter than my last, because I have studied it like together. Draws his sword anything. Oh, sick, sick! Takes the pen and writes mrs pinchwife O Lord, O Lord, you are such a passionate man, bud. 40 Enter pinchwife, who seeing her writing steals softly behind her, and looking over her shoulder, Enter sparkish snatches the paper from her sparkish pinchwife How now, what’s here to do? What, writing more letters? pinchwife mrs pinchwife This fool here now! O Lord, bud, why d’ye fright me so? sparkish She offers to run out; he stops her and reads What, drawn upon your wife? You should never do that, but at pinchwife night in the dark, when you can’t hurt her! This is my sister-in- How’s this! Nay, you shall not stir, madam. ‘Dear, dear, dear 15 law, is it not? (Pulls aside her handkerchief) Ay, faith, e’en our 45 Master Horner’ – very well! – I have taught you to write letters country Margery; one may know her. Come, she and you must to good purpose – but let’s see’t – ‘First, I am to beg your go dine with me; dinner’s ready, come. But where’s my wife? Is pardon for my boldness in writing to you, which I’d have you she not come home yet? Where is she? to know I would not have done, had not you said first you loved me so extremely, which if you do, you will never suffer me to lie 20 24 match This usually means an engagement rather than a marriage; seems a bit disingenuous. 33–6 paraphrase of Isaiah 35:5–6. 35 dough-baked half-baked. 2 for i.e., sick for. 36 indocile hard to teach. 3 distemper unbalanced state, disease. 37 politic lawful. ague type of fever recognised by successive cold shivering and hot feverish symptoms . 43 drawn both having a sword drawn and ready for sex: play on words. 11 studied thought about. 45 sd handkerchief head-dress. 11–12 like anything very hard; vulgarism.

116 117 the country wife act iv scene iv pinchwife ridiculous! – Well sir, but let me advise you, now you are come Making you a cuckold; ’tis that they all do, as soon as they can. to be concerned, because you suspect the danger, not to neglect sparkish the means to prevent it, especially when the greatest share of What, the wedding day? No, a wife that designs to make a cully 50 the malady will light upon your own head, for – 75 of her husband will be sure to let him win the first stake of love, Hows’e’er the kind wife’s belly comes to swell, by the world. But come, they stay dinner for us. Come, I’ll lead The husband breeds for her, and first is ill. down our Margery. [Exeunt] pinchwife No! – Sir, go, we’ll follow you. sparkish I will not wag without you. 55 pinchwife [Aside] This coxcomb is a sensible torment to me amidst the greatest in the world. sparkish Come, come, Madam Margery. pinchwife No, I’ll lead her my way. (Leads her to t’other door and locks her in and returns) What, would you treat your friends with mine, 60 for want of your own wife? (Aside) I am contented my rage should take breath. sparkish [Aside] I told Horner this. pinchwife Come now. sparkish Lord, how shy you are of your wife! But let me tell you, brother, 65 we men of wit have amongst us a saying that cuckolding, like the smallpox, comes with a fear, and you may keep your wife as much as you will out of danger of infection, but if her constitution incline her to’t, she’ll have it sooner or later, by the world, say they. 70 pinchwife (Aside) What a thing is a cuckold, that every fool can make him

50 cully Q1–4, O (cuckold Q5) dupe, especially cuckold. 53 sp pinchwife ed. (Mrs. Pin. Q1–5, O). 55 wag go. 56 sensible painful. 58 Madam Margery form of address implying high social status; Sparkish at his most ceremonious. 65 how shy you are of how cautious you are about. 67 comes with a fear is brought on by fearing it. 77 breeds for her grows cuckold’s horns on her behalf.

118 119 act v scene i

pinchwife [act v, scene i] Ha! (Aside) I thought the style was somewhat better than her own. – But how could she come to you to teach you, since I had locked you up alone? 25 pinchwife’s house mrs pinchwife Enter pinchwife and mrs pinchwife Oh, through the keyhole, bud. A table and candle pinchwife pinchwife But why should she make you write a letter for her to him, since she can write herself? Come, take the pen and make an end of the letter, just as you mrs pinchwife intended. If you are false in a tittle, I shall soon perceive it, and Why, she said because – for I was unwilling to do it. punish you with this as you deserve. (Lays his hand on his pinchwife sword) Write what was to follow – let’s see – ‘You must make Because what – because? 30 haste and help me away before tomorrow, or else I shall be for 5 mrs pinchwife ever out of your reach, for I can defer no longer our’ – What Because, lest Master Horner should be cruel and refuse her, or follows ‘our’? mrs pinchwife vain afterwards, and show the letter, she might disown it, the hand not being hers. Must all out then, bud? (mrs pinchwife takes the pen and pinchwife (Aside) writes) Look you there, then. pinchwife How’s this? Ha – then I think I shall come to myself again. This changeling could not invent this lie, but if she could, why 35 Let’s see – ‘For I can defer no longer our wedding. Your slighted 10 should she? She might think I should soon discover it – stay – Alithea’. – What’s the meaning of this? My sister’s name to’t? now I think on’t too, Horner said he was sorry she had married Speak, unriddle! mrs pinchwife Sparkish, and her disowning her marriage to me makes me think she has evaded it for Horner’s sake. Yet why should she Yes, indeed, bud. pinchwife take this course? But men in love are fools; women may well be 40 so. – But hark you, madam, your sister went out in the morning But why her name to’t? Speak – speak I say! mrs pinchwife and I have not seen her within since. mrs pinchwife Ay, but you’ll tell her then again. If you would not tell her 15 Alackaday, she has been crying all day above, it seems, in a again – pinchwife corner. pinchwife I will not; I am stunned; my head turns round. Speak! mrs pinchwife Where is she? Let me speak with her. 45 mrs pinchwife (Aside) Won’t you tell her indeed, and indeed? pinchwife O Lord, then he’ll discover all! – Pray hold, bud. What, d’ye mean to discover me? She’ll know I have told you then. Pray No, speak I say. mrs pinchwife bud, let me talk with her first. She’ll be angry with me, but I had rather she should be angry 20 with me than you, bud. And to tell you the truth ’twas she made me write the letter, and taught me what I should write. 23 sd (Aside) Q4–5, O (Q1–3 omit). 24 But how Q1–3 (Q4–5, O omit). 36 might would surely. 15–16 tell her then again repeat it to her. 47 discover betray.

120 121 the country wife act v scene i pinchwife be of kin to him by the name of brother-in-law than that of 75 1 must speak with her to know whether Horner ever made her cuckold. any promise; and whether she be married to Sparkish or no. 50 mrs pinchwife mrs pinchwife Enter Pray, dear bud, don’t, till I have spoken with her and told her Well, what says she now? that I have told you all, for she’ll kill me else. mrs pinchwife pinchwife Why, she says she would only have you lead her to Horner’s Go then, and bid her come out to me. lodging – with whom she first will discourse the matter before mrs pinchwife she talk with you, which yet she cannot do. For alack, poor 80 Yes, yes, bud. creature, she says she can’t so much as look you in the face, pinchwife therefore she’ll come to you in a mask. And you must excuse Let me see – 55 her if she make you no answer to any question of yours till you mrs pinchwife [Aside] have brought her to Master Horner. And if you will not chide I’ll go, but she is not within to come to him. I have just got time her nor question her she’ll come out to you immediately. 85 to know of Lucy her maid, who first set me on work, what lie I pinchwife shall tell next, for I am e’en at my wit’s end! Let her come. I will not speak a word to her, nor require a word Exit mrs pinchwife from her. pinchwife mrs pinchwife Well, I resolve it; Horner shall have her. I’d rather give him my Oh, I forgot – besides, she says, she cannot look you in the face, sister than lend him my wife, and such an alliance will prevent 60 though through a mask, therefore would desire you to put out his pretensions to my wife, sure. I’ll make him of kin to her, and the candle. 90 then he won’t care for her. pinchwife I agree to all; let her make haste. mrs pinchwife returns (Exit mrs pinchwife) mrs pinchwife There ’tis out. (Puts out the candle) My case is something better; O Lord, bud, I told you what anger you would make me with I’d rather fight with Horner for not lying with my sister than my sister. for lying with my wife, and of the two I had rather find my pinchwife sister too forward than my wife. I expected no other from her 95 Won’t she come hither? 65 free education, as she calls it, and her passion for the town. mrs pinchwife Well, wife and sister are names which make us expect love and No, no, alackaday, she’s ashamed to look you in the face, and duty, pleasure and comfort, but we find ’em plagues and she says if you go in to her, she’ll run away downstairs, and torments, and are equally, though differently troublesome to shamefully go herself to Master Horner, who has promised her their keeper; for we have as much ado to get people to lie with 100 marriage, she says, and she will have no other, so she won’t. our sisters as to keep ’em from lying with our wives. pinchwife Did he so – promise her marriage? Then she shall have no 70 74 parts abilities. A deliberate pun on private parts is possible, as Pinchwife does not other. Go tell her so, and if she will come and discourse with me suppose Horner a eunuch, but it is not probable, as the word has no suggestive context and is not repeated. Compare II.i.245–6. a little concerning the means, I will about it immediately. Go! 80 talk Q1–3 (talks Q4–5, O). Perhaps Mrs Pinchwife’s grammar should be preserved; (Exit mrs pinchwife) yet as yet. His estate is equal to Sparkish’s, and his extraction as much 92 sd Puts out the candle This makes the stage symbolically dark, so that he cannot see better than his as his parts are. But my chief reason is, I’d rather his wife is disguised as Alithea, but the audience can. 93 not lying with refusing to marry. Pinchwife uses the same gross idiom at I.i.321.

122 123 the country wife act v scene ii

Enter mrs pinchwife masked, horner and in hoods and scarves, and a nightgown A pox! keeping a cuckold company after you have had his wife 10 and petticoat of alithea’s, in the dark is as tiresome as the company of a country squire to a witty fellow of the town, when he has got all his money. What, are you come, sister? Let us go then – but first let me lock quack up my wife. Mistress Margery, where are you? mrs pinchwife And as at first a man makes a friend of the husband to get the wife, so at last you are fain to fall out with the wife to be rid of Here, bud. pinchwife the husband. 15 horner Come hither, that I may lock you up. 105 Ay, most cuckold-makers are true courtiers. When once a poor (mrs pinchwife gives him her hand, but when man has cracked his credit for ’em, they can’t abide to come he lets her go, she steals softly on t’other side of him) near him. Get you in. (Locks the door) Come, sister, where are you now? quack [mrs pinchwife] is led away by him But at first, to draw him in, are so sweet, so kind, so dear, just for his sister Alithea as you are to Pinchwife. But what becomes of that intrigue with 20 his wife? horner [act V, scene ii] A pox! He’s as surly as an alderman that has been bit, and since he’s so coy, his wife’s kindness is in vain, for she’s a silly innocent. The scene changes to horner’s lodging quack quack, horner Did she not send you a letter by him? 25 horner quack Yes, but that’s a riddle I have not yet solved. Allow the poor What, all alone? Not so much as one of your cuckolds here, nor creature to be willing, she is silly too, and he keeps her up so one of their wives! They use to take their turns with you, as if close – they were to watch you. quack horner Yes, so close that he makes her but the more willing, and adds Yes, it often happens that a cuckold is but his wife’s spy, and is but revenge to her love, which two, when met, seldom fail of 30 5 more upon family duty when he is with her gallant abroad, satisfying each other one way or other. hindering his pleasure, than when he is at home with her, horner playing the gallant. But the hardest duty a married woman What! here’s the man we are talking of, I think. imposes upon a lover is keeping her husband company always. quack Enter pinchwife leading in his wife, And his fondness wearies you almost as soon as hers. masked, muffled, and in her sister’s gown Pshaw!

101 sd scarves ornamental strips of silk. nightgown loose gown or wrap, not necessarily worn only indoors. . petticoat skirt. 17 cracked his credit (literally) bankrupted himself; (metaphorically) become a cuckold. . 22 bit tricked. 2 use to are accustomed to. 23 coy cautious. 5 more upon family duty doing more for family honour. kindness readiness for sex. See also III.ii.471.

124 125 the country wife act v scene ii quack pinchwife Bringing his wife to you is the next thing to bringing a love – who desired me to bring her to you. letter from her. 35 horner horner Then she is obliging, dear rogue. What means this? pinchwife pinchwife You’ll make her welcome, for my sake, I hope. 60 The last time, you know, sir, I brought you a love letter. Now horner you see a mistress. I think you’ll say I am a civil man to you. I hope she is handsome enough to make herself welcome. horner Prithee, let her unmask. Ay, the devil take me, will I say thou art the civillest man I ever pinchwife met with, and I have known some. I fancy I understand thee 40 Do you speak to her. She would never be ruled by me. now better than I did the letter. But hark thee, in thy ear – horner pinchwife Madam – (mrs pinchwife whispers to horner) What? She says she must speak with me in private. Withdraw, prithee. 65 horner pinchwife (Aside) Nothing but the usual question, man; is she sound, on thy She’s unwilling, it seems, I should know all her undecent word? conduct in this business. – Well, then, I’ll leave you together, pinchwife and hope when I am gone you’ll agree. If not, you and I shan’t What, you take her for a wench, and me for a pimp? 45 agree, sir. horner horner [Aside] Pshaw! wench and pimp, paw words. I know thou art an honest What means the fool? – If she and I agree, ’tis no matter what 70 fellow, and hast a great acquaintance amongst the ladies, and you and I do. Whispers to mrs pinchwife perhaps hast made love for me rather than let me make love to who makes signs with her hand for him to be gone thy wife – pinchwife [Aside] pinchwife In the meantime I’ll fetch a parson, and find out Sparkish and Come sir; in short, I am for no fooling. 50 disabuse him. – You would have me fetch a parson, would you horner not? Well, then – [Aside] Now I think I am rid of her, and shall Nor I neither; therefore prithee let’s see her face presently. Make have no more trouble with her. Our sisters and daughters, like 75 her show, man! Art thou sure I don’t know her? usurers’ money, are safest when put out, but our wives, like pinchwife their writings, never safe but in our closets under lock and key. I am sure you do know her. Exit pinchwife horner Enter boy A pox! why dost thou bring her to me then? pinchwife 64–85 Q1–5, O substantially agree in their stage directions, but the stage business is not Because she’s a relation of mine – 55 obvious. I think Mrs Pinchwife and Horner detach themselves from Pinchwife and horner whisper together; Pinchwife addresses himself partly to the audience and partly to Is she, faith, man? Then thou art still more civil and obliging, them. Horner after his aside at l. 70 speaks to Pinchwife and then whispers to Mrs Pinchwife, who makes signs for ‘him’ (i.e., Pinchwife) to be gone throughout dear rogue. Pinchwife’s exit speech. After the boy has announced Sir Jaspar Fidget, Horner addresses first Quack and then Mrs Pinchwife, who is hustled into the bedroom. 71 sd hand Q1–4, O (hands Q5). 43 sound free from pox. 76 put out invested. 46 paw improper, naughty, or obscene (OED). 77 their writings the usurers’ documents. 52 show show herself.

126 127 the country wife act v scene iii boy horner Sir Jaspar Fidget, sir, is coming up. [Exit boy] Well, well – get you gone, and tell ’em, if they come, ’twill be at horner [Aside to quack] the peril of their honour and yours. Here’s the trouble of a cuckold, now, we are talking of. A pox on sir jaspar him! Has he not enough to do to hinder his wife’s sport, but he 80 He, he, he! We’ll trust you for that, farewell. 100 must other women’s too? – Step in here madam. Exit sir jaspar Exit mrs pinchwife horner Doctor, anon, you too shall be my guest, Enter sir jaspar But now I’m going to a private feast. sir jaspar [Exeunt] My best and dearest friend. horner [Aside to quack] The old style, doctor. – Well, be short, for I am busy. What [act V, scene iii] would your impertinent wife have now? sir jaspar Well guessed, i’faith, for I do come from her. 85 horner The scene changes to the Piazza of Covent Garden sparkish pinchwife To invite me to supper? Tell her I can’t come. Go. , sir jaspar sparkish (With the letter in his hand) Nay, now you are out, faith, for my lady and the whole knot of But who would have thought a woman could have been false to the virtuous gang, as they call themselves, are resolved upon a me? By the world, I could not have thought it. frolic of coming to you tonight in a masquerade, and are all pinchwife dressed already. 90 You were for giving and taking liberty; she has taken it only, sir, horner now you find in that letter. You are a frank person, and so is she, I shan’t be at home. you see there. 5 sir jaspar (Aside) sparkish Lord, how churlish he is to women! – Nay, prithee don’t dis- Nay, if this be her hand – for I never saw it. appoint ’em, they’ll think ’tis my fault, prithee don’t. I’ll send in pinchwife the banquet and the fiddles. But make no noise on’t, for the ’Tis no matter whether that be her hand or no. I am sure this poor virtuous rogues would not have it known for the world, 95 hand, at her desire, led her to Master Horner, with whom I left that they go a-masquerading, and they would come to no man’s her just now, to go fetch a parson to ’em, at their desire too, to ball but yours. deprive you of her for ever, for it seems yours was but a mock 10 marriage. sparkish 79 are were; historic present. They were talking of Sir Jaspar in ll. 1–20. Indeed, she would needs have it that ’twas Harcourt himself in 83 The old style the sort of address we would expect. a parson’s habit that married us, but I’m sure he told me ’twas 87 knot group of conspirators. 88 gang society, not as pejorative a term as it is now. his brother Ned. 89 a masquerade Q1–3 (masquerade Q4–5, O). 94 banquet refreshments. lsd the letter, i.e., that written by Mrs Pinchwife but signed Pinchwife has now told fiddles fiddlers, as at II.i.73. Possibly Sir Jaspar’s musicians play for the dance of Sparkish it was written by Alithea. cuckolds at the end of V.iv. 4 frank generous. See IILii.311. 97 ball party, as at II.i.74. 6 hand handwriting.

128 129 the country wife act v scene iii pinchwife sparkish Oh, there ’tis out, and you were deceived, not she, for you are 15 What, d’ye mock me too? such a frank person – but I must be gone. You’ll find her at alithea Master Horner’s. Go and believe your eyes. Or you have been deluded. 40 Exit pinchwife sparkish sparkish By you! Nay, I’ll to her, and call her as many crocodiles, sirens, harpies, alithea and other heathenish names as a poet would do a mistress who Let me understand you. had refused to hear his suit, nay more, his verses on her. But 20 sparkish stay, is not that she following a torch at t’other end of the Have you the confidence – I should call it something else, since Piazza? And from Horner’s certainly – ’tis so. you know your guilt – to stand my just reproaches? You did not write an impudent letter to Master Horner, who I find now has 45 Enter alithea following a torch, and lucy behind clubbed with you in deluding me with his aversion for women, You are well met, madam, though you don’t think so. What, you that I might not, forsooth, suspect him for my rival? have made a short visit to Master Horner, but I suppose you’ll lucy (Aside) return to him presently. By that time the parson can be with 25 D’ye think the gentleman can be jealous now, madam? him. alithea alithea I write a letter to Master Horner! Master Horner, and the parson, sir? sparkish sparkish Nay, madam, do not deny it. Your brother showed it me just 50 Come, madam, no more dissembling, no more jilting, for I am now, and told me likewise he left you at Horner’s lodging to no more a frank person. fetch a parson to marry you to him. And I wish you joy, alithea madam, joy, joy! and to him, too, much joy! and to myself more How’s this? 30 joy for not marrying you! lucy (Aside) alithea (Aside) So, ’twill work, I see. So I find my brother would break off the match, and I can 55 sparkish consent to’t, since I see this gentleman can be made jealous. – Could you find out no easy country fool to abuse? None but O Lucy, by his rude usage and jealousy, he makes me almost me, a gentleman of wit and pleasure about the town? But it was afraid I am married to him. Art thou sure ’twas Harcourt your pride to be too hard for a man of parts, unworthy false himself and no parson that married us? woman! False as a friend that lends a man money to lose. False 35 sparkish as dice, who undo those that trust all they have to ’em. No, madam, I thank you. I suppose that was a contrivance too 60 lucy (Aside) of Master Horner’s and yours, to make Harcourt play the He has been a great bubble by his similes, as they say. parson. But I would, as little as you, have him one now, no, not alithea for the world, for shall I tell you another truth? I never had any You have been too merry, sir, at your wedding dinner, sure. passion for you till now, for now I hate you. ’Tis true I might have married your portion, as other men of parts of the town 65 do sometimes; and so your servant. And to show my uncon - 18 crocodiles hypocrites. cernedness, I’ll come to your wedding and resign you with as 21 torch linkboy with torch. much joy as I would a stale wench to a new cully. Nay, with as 28 jilting deceiving. 37 Judging by his similes, he has been tricked many times, as they say. 66 and so your servant He takes leave, but has afterthoughts.

130 131 the country wife act v scene iv

much joy as I would after the first night, if I had been married [act V, scene iv] to you. There’s for you, and so your servant, servant. 70 Exit sparkish alithea horner How was I deceived in a man! The scene changes again to ’s lodging lucy horner, lady fidget, mrs dainty fidget, mrs squeamish You’ll believe, then, a fool may be made jealous now? For that . A table, banquet and bottles easiness in him that suffers him to be led by a wife, will likewise horner (Aside) permit him to be persuaded against her by others. A pox! they are come too soon – before I have sent back my alithea new – mistress. All I have now to do is to lock her in, that they But marry Master Horner! My brother does not intend it, sure. 75 may not see her. If I thought he did, I would take thy advice and Master Harcourt lady fidget for my husband. And now I wish that if there be any over-wise That we may be sure of our welcome, we have brought our woman of the town, who, like me, would marry a fool for entertainment with us, and are resolved to treat thee, dear toad. 5 fortune, liberty, or title: first, that her husband may love play, dainty and be a cully to all the town, but her, and suffer none but 80 And that we may be merry to purpose, have left Sir Jaspar and fortune to be mistress of his purse. Then, if for liberty, that he my old Lady Squeamish quarrelling at home at backgammon. may send her into the country under the conduct of some squeamish house wifely mother-in-law. And, if for title, may the world give Therefore, let us make use of our time, lest they should chance ’em none but that of cuckold. to interrupt us. lucy lady fidget And for her greater curse, madam, may he not deserve it. 85 Let us sit then. 10 alithea horner Away, impertinent! – Is not this my Old Lady Lanterlu’s? First, that you may be private, let me lock this door and that, lucy and I’ll wait upon you presently. Yes, madam. (Aside) And here I hope we shall find Master lady fidget Harcourt. No, sir, shut ’em only and your lips for ever, for we must trust Exeunt alithea, lucy you as much as our women. horner You know all vanity’s killed in me; I have no occasion for 15 talking. lady fidget Now, ladies, supposing we had drank each of us our two bottles, let us speak the truth of our hearts. dainty and squeamish Agreed. lady fidget By this brimmer, for truth is nowhere else to be found. (Aside 20 to horner) Not in thy heart, false man! 70 and so your servant, servant He takes leave again, but adds a mocking quibble on ‘servant’ in the sense of lover. 2 new – mistress He had been going to use some other word. 86 Lanterlu’s from lanterloo or loo, a popular card game. See Epilogue, l. 27. 20 Alluding to the proverb in vino veritas, in wine is truth; brimmer full glass.

132 133 the country wife act v scene iv horner (Aside to lady fidget) dainty You have found me a true man, I’m sure! And our bashful gallants bold. lady fidget (Aside to horner) squeamish Not every way. – But let us sit and be merry. And for want of a gallant, the butler lovely in our eyes. Drink, lady fidget eunuch. sings lady fidget 1. Drink, thou representative of a husband. Damn a husband! Why should our damned tyrants oblige us to live dainty On the pittance of pleasure which they only give? 25 And, as it were a husband, an old keeper. 50 We must not rejoice squeamish With wine and with noise. And an old grandmother. In vain we must wake in a dull bed alone, horner Whilst to our warm rival, the bottle, they’re gone. And an English bawd, and a French surgeon. Then lay aside charms 30 lady fidget And take up these arms. Ay, we have all reason to curse ’em. horner 2. For my sake, ladies? ’Tis wine only gives ’em their courage and wit lady fidget Because we live sober, to men we submit. No, for our own, for the first spoils all young gallants’ industry. 55 If for beauties you’d pass dainty Take a lick of the glass: 35 And the other’s art makes ’em bold only with common women. ’Twill mend your complexions, and when they are gone squeamish The best we have is the red of the grape. And rather run the hazard of the vile distemper amongst them, Then, sisters, lay’t on, than of a denial amongst us. And damn a good shape. dainty dainty The filthy toads choose mistresses now as they do stuffs, for Dear brimmer! Well, in token of our openness and plain- 40 having been fancied and worn by others. 60 dealing, let us throw our masks over our heads. squeamish horner For being common and cheap. So, ’twill come to the glasses anon. lady fidget squeamish Whilst women of quality, like the richest stuffs, lie untumbled Lovely brimmer! Let me enjoy him first. and unasked for. lady fidget horner No, I never part with a gallant till I’ve tried him. Dear brimmer, Ay, neat, and cheap, and new, often they think best. that mak’st our husbands short-sighted. 45

23 sd The music for this song is lost. 52 see I.i.22–3 and note. 31 arms glasses, as explained by a marginal gloss in Q1–5, O. 59 stuffs cloth. 37 red rouge. 62 untumbled (of cloth) unhandled; (of women) unwanted for sex; ‘Before you tumbled 39 shape figure. me, / You promised me to wed’ (Hamlet IV.v.62–3). 43 him This and Lady Fidget’s response suggest brimmer should be a double entendre. 64 neat (of clothes) comparatively plain; (of women) comparatively pure, like Mrs Partridge and others record brim sb. ‘harlot’ and v. ‘to have intercourse’. Pinchwife.

134 135 the country wife act v scene iv dainty lady fidget No, sir, the beasts will be known by a mistress longer than by a 65 Yes, but for all that, we think wildness in a man as desirable a suit. quality as in a duck or rabbit. A tame man, foh! squeamish horner And ’tis not for cheapness neither. I know not, but your reputations frightened me, as much as 90 lady fidget your faces invited me. No, for the vain fops will take up druggets and embroider ’em. lady fidget But I wonder at the depraved appetites of witty men; they use Our reputation! Lord, why should you not think that we women to be out of the common road and hate imitation. Pray tell me, 70 make use of our reputation, as you men of yours, only to deceive beast, when you were a man, why you rather chose to club with the world with less suspicion? Our virtue is like the statesman’s a multitude in a common house for an entertainment than to religion, the Quaker’s word, the gamester’s oath, and the great 95 be the only guest at a good table? man’s honour – but to cheat those that trust us. horner squeamish Why, faith, ceremony and expectation are unsufferable to those And that demureness, coyness, and modesty that you see in our that are sharp bent. People always eat with the best stomach at 75 faces in the boxes at plays is as much a sign of a kind woman as an ordinary, where every man is snatching for the best bit. a vizard-mask in the pit. lady fidget dainty Though he get a cut over the fingers. But I have heard people For, I assure you, women are least masked when they have the 100 eat most heartily of another man’s meat, that is, what they do velvet vizard on. not pay for. lady fidget horner You would have found us modest women in our denials only. When they are sure of their welcome and freedom, for ceremony 80 squeamish in love and eating is as ridiculous as in fighting. Falling on Our bashfulness is only the reflection of the men’s. briskly is all should be done in those occasions. dainty lady fidget We blush, when they are shamefaced. Well then, let me tell you, sir, there is nowhere more freedom horner than in our houses, and we take freedom from a young person I beg your pardon, ladies. I was deceived in you devilishly. But 105 as a sign of good breeding, and a person may be as free as he 85 why that mighty pretence to honour? pleases with us, as frolic, as gamesome, as wild as he will. lady fidget horner We have told you. But sometimes ’twas for the same reason you Ha’n’t I heard you all declaim against wild men? men pretend business often, to avoid ill company, to enjoy the better and more privately those you love. horner 68 druggets cheap wool fabrics. 69–70 use to be are usually. But why would you ne’er give a friend a wink then? 110 72 common house restaurant or perhaps . lady fidget 74 expectation waiting. Faith, your reputation frightened us as much as ours did you, 75 are sharp bent have a keen appetite. you were so notoriously lewd. 76 ordinary restaurant. 77 cut over the fingers probably alluding to Horner’s supposed surgical disaster. 81 Falling on (in love) having sex, (in eating) starting, (in fighting) attacking. 87 wild See Etherege’s She Would if she Could (ed. Charlene M. Taylor) I.ii.37–9: ‘There 88 desirable because wild animals yield the best meat (Dixon). is not such another wild man in the Town. All his talk was of wenching, and 98 kind available for sex. swearing, and drinking, and tearing’. 99 vizard-mask sign of a whore. See I.i.159 note.

136 137 the country wife act v scene iv horner lady fidget And you so seemingly honest. For one may be dissembled, the other not. (Aside)Butmy lady fidget jealousy can be no longer dissembled, and they are telling ripe. Was that all that deterred you? – Come, here’s to our gallants in waiting, whom we must name, horner and I’ll begin. This is my false rogue. Claps him on the back 140 And so expensive – you allow freedom, you say? – 115 squeamish lady fidget How! Ay, ay. horner [Aside] horner So, all will out now. – that I was afraid of losing my little money, as well as my little squeamish (Aside to horner) time, both which my other pleasures required. Did you not tell me, ’twas for my sake only you reported lady fidget yourself no man? Money, foh! You talk like a little fellow now. Do such as we dainty (Aside to horner) expect money? 120 Oh wretch! Did you not swear to me, ’twas for my love and 145 horner honour you passed for that thing you do? I beg your pardon, madam. I must confess, I have heard that horner great ladies, like great merchants, set but the higher prices upon So, so. what they have, because they are not in necessity of taking the lady fidget first offer. Come, speak ladies; this is my false villain. dainty squeamish Such as we, make sale of our hearts? 125 And mine too. squeamish dainty We bribed for our love? Foh! And mine. 150 horner horner With your pardon, ladies, I know, like great men in offices, you Well, then, you are all three my false rogues too, and there’s an seem to exact flattery and attendance only from your followers, end on’t. but you have receivers about you, and such fees to pay, a man is lady fidget afraid to pass your grants. Besides, we must let you win at cards, 130 Well, then, there’s no remedy; sister sharers, let us not fall out, or we lose your hearts. And if you make an assignation, ’tis at a but have a care of our honour. Though we get no presents, no goldsmith’s, jeweller’s, or china house, where, for your honour jewels of him, we are savers of our honour, the jewel of most 155 you deposit to him, he must pawn his to the punctual cit, and value and use, which shines yet to the world unsuspected, so paying for what you take up, pays for what he takes up. though it be counterfeit. dainty horner Would you not have us assured of our gallant’s love? 135 Nay, and is e’en as good as if it were true, provided the world squeamish think so; for honour, like beauty, now, only depends on the For love is better known by liberality than by jealousy. opinion of others. 160 113 honest chaste. 115 freedom plain-dealing. 138 jealousy Q1–2, 4–5, O (jealousies Q3). 129 receivers servants who take bribes. they are telling ripe they (the other ladies) are ready to be told. But if Q3 is right, the 130 pass your grants accept your favours. phrase means they (the jealousies) are ready to be told, i.e. very strong. 132–3 for your honour . . . punctual cit for trusting your honour to him, he must pawn his 139 gallants in waiting lovers awaiting our pleasure; phrase coined on the analogy of to the punctilious shopkeeper. ladies in waiting.

138 139 the country wife act v scene iv lady fidget horner Well, Harry Common, I hope you can be true to three. Swear – but ’tis You would not take my advice to be gone home before your husband 180 no purpose to require your oath; for you are as often forsworn as you came back; he’ll now discover all. Yet pray, my dearest, be persuaded to swear to new women. go home, and leave the rest to my management. I’ll let you down the horner back way. Come, faith, madam, let us e’en pardon one another, for all the mrs pinchwife difference I find betwixt we men and you women, we forswear our- 165 I don’t know the way home, so I don’t. selves at the beginning of an amour, you as long as it lasts. horner sir jaspar fidget old lady squeamish My man shall wait upon you. 185 Enter and mrs pinchwife sir jaspar No, don’t you believe that I’ll go at all. What, are you weary of me Oh, my Lady Fidget, was this your cunning to come to Master Horner already? without me? But you have been nowhere else, I hope. horner lady fidget No, my life, ’tis that I may love you long, ’tis to secure my love, and No, Sir Jaspar. your reputation with your husband. He’ll never receive you again else. old lady squeamish mrs pinchwife And you came straight hither, Biddy? 170 What care I? D’ye think to frighten me with that? I don’t intend to go 190 squeamish to him again. You shall be my husband now. Yes, indeed, lady grandmother. horner sir jaspar I cannot be your husband, dearest, since you are married to him. ’Tis well, ’tis well. I knew when once they were thoroughly acquainted mrs pinchwife with poor Horner they’d ne’er be from him. You may let her masquer - Oh, would you make me believe that? Don’t I see every day at London ade it with my wife and Horner, and I warrant her reputation safe. here, women leave their first husbands, and go and live with other men as their wives? Pish, pshaw! You’d make me angry, but that I love 195 Enter boy you so mainly. boy horner Oh, sir, here’s the gentleman come whom you bid me not suffer to come 175 So, they are coming up. – In again, in, I hear ’em. up without giving you notice, with a lady, too, and other gentlemen. (Exit mrs pinchwife) horner Well, a silly mistress is like a weak place, soon got, soon lost; a man has Do you all go in there, whilst I send ’em away, and boy, do you desire scarce time for plunder. She betrays her husband first to her gallant, ’em to stay below till I come, which shall be immediately. and then her gallant to her husband. 200 sir jaspar lady squeamish Exeunt , , pinchwife alithea harcourt lady fidget, mrs dainty squeamish Enter , , , , sparkish lucy parson boy , and a Yes, sir. Exit pinchwife Come, madam, ’tis not the sudden change of your dress, the confi d - Exit horner at t’other door, ence of your asseverations, and your false witness there, shall persuade and returns with mrs pinchwife me I did not bring you hither just now. Here’s my witness, who cannot

196 mainly strongly. 161 Harry Horner’s first name; Common, i.e. a stud, on the analogy of Doll Common, the 198 weak place ill-defended fortress. prostitue in The Alchemist. 203 witness i.e., Lucy.

141 the country wife act v scene iv

deny it, since you must be confronted. – Master Horner, did not I lucy (Aside) bring this lady to you just now? 205 Now could I speak, if I durst, and solve the riddle, who am the author horner (Aside) of it. Now must I wrong one woman for another’s sake. But that’s no new alithea thing with me; for in these cases I am still on the criminal’s side, O unfortunate woman! A combination against my honour, which against the innocent. most concerns me now, because you share in my disgrace, sir, and it is alithea your censure which I must now suffer that troubles me, not theirs. 230 Pray speak, sir. harcourt horner (Aside) Madam, then have no trouble, you shall now see ’tis possible for me to It must be so. I must be impudent and try my luck; impudence uses to 210 love too, without being jealous. I will not only believe your innocence be too hard for truth. myself, but make all the world believe it. (Apart to horner) Horner, pinchwife I must now be concerned for this lady’s honour. What, you are studying an evasion, or excuse for her? Speak, sir. horner horner And I must be concerned for a lady’s honour too. 235 No, faith, I am something backward only to speak in women’s affairs harcourt or disputes. This lady has her honour, and I will protect it. pinchwife horner She bids you speak. 215 My lady has not her honour, but has given it me to keep, and I will alithea preserve it. Ay, pray sir do, pray satisfy him. harcourt horner I understand you not. Then truly, you did bring that lady to me just now. horner pinchwife I would not have you. 240 Oho! mrs pinchwife (Peeping in behind) alithea What’s the matter with ’em all? How, sir! pinchwife harcourt Come, come, Master Horner, no more disputing. Here’s the parson; I How, Horner! 220 brought him not in vain. alithea harcourt What mean you, sir? I always took you for a man of honour. No, sir, I’ll employ him, if this lady please. horner (Aside) pinchwife Ay, so much a man of honour that I must save my mistress, I thank How! What d’ye mean? 245 you, come what will on’t. sparkish sparkish Ay, what does he mean? So, if I had had her, she’d have made me believe the moon had been horner made of a Christmas pie. 225 Why, I have resigned your sister to him; he has my consent. pinchwife But he has not mine, sir. A woman’s injured honour, no more than a

210–11 uses to be is usually. 226 solve Q2–5, O (solve Q1). 224–5 the moon . . . Christmas pie i.e., something incredible; usually, that the moon is made of 228 combination plot. green cheese. Perhaps this variant is suggested by Horner’s name, as Little Jack Horner in 244 sp harcourt Q5 (Hor. Q1–4, O). This speech suits Harcourt rather than Horner, who has the nursery rhyme ate a Christmas pie. no intention of marrying Alithea, as his speech at l. 247 shows. An easy printer’s error.

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man’s can be repaired or satisfied by any but him that first wronged it. sir jaspar And you shall marry her presently, or – Lays his hand on his sword 250 What’s the matter? what’s the matter? pray, what’s the matter, sir? mrs pinchwife I beseech you communicate, sir. Enter to them pinchwife mrs pinchwife Why, my wife has communicated, sir, as your wife may have done too, O Lord, they’ll kill poor Master Horner! Besides he shan’t marry her sir, if she knows him, sir. 270 whilst I stand by and look on. I’ll not lose my second husband so. sir jaspar pinchwife Pshaw! with him! ha, ha, he! What do I see? pinchwife alithea D’ye mock me, sir? A cuckold is a kind of a wild beast, have a care, sir! My sister in my clothes! sir jaspar sparkish No, sure, you mock me, sir. He cuckold you! It can’t be, ha, ha, he! Ha! 255 Why, I’ll tell you, sir – Offers to whisper mrs pinchwife pinchwife Nay, pray now don’t quarrel about finding work for the parson. He I tell you again, he has whored my wife, and yours too, if he knows her, 275 shall marry me to Master Horner. (To pinchwife) For now I believe and all the women he comes near. ’Tis not his dissembling, his you have enough of me. hypocrisy, can wheedle me. horner sir jaspar Damned, damned loving changeling! How! does he dissemble? Is he a hypocrite? Nay, then – how – wife – mrs pinchwife sister, is he an hypocrite? Pray, sister, pardon me for telling so many lies of you. 260 old lady squeamish harcourt An hypocrite, a dissembler! Speak, young harlotry, speak, how? 280 I suppose the riddle is plain now. sir jaspar lucy Nay, then – Oh, my head too! – Oh thou libidinous lady! No, that must be my work. Good sir, hear me. old lady squeamish Kneels to pinchwife, who stands doggedly, Oh thou harloting harlotry! Hast thou done’t then? with his hat over his eyes sir jaspar pinchwife Speak, good Horner, art thou a dissembler, a rogue? Hast thou – I will never hear woman again, but make ’em all silent, thus – horner Offers to draw upon his wife Soh – horner lucy (Apart to horner) No, that must not be. I’ll fetch you off, and her too, if she will but hold her tongue. 285 pinchwife horner (Apart to lucy) You then shall go first, ’tis all one to me. 265 Canst thou? I’ll give thee – Offers to draw on horner; stopped by harcourt lucy (To pinchwife) harcourt Pray, have but patience to hear me, sir, who am the unfortunate cause Hold! sir jaspar fidget lady fidget lady squeamish 269 communicated had sexual intercourse. Enter , , , 272 Possibly Pinchwife threatens to draw his sword again here, and at ll. 304 and 318. mrs dainty fidget, mrs squeamish 281 my head i.e., he begins to feel he is a cuckold. 284 Soh Possibly Horner sighs, like Mrs Pinchwife at IV.ii.118, though there Q1–5, O have a stage-direction. 262 sd doggedly morosely. 285 she i.e., Mrs Pinchwife, who soon interrupts Lucy as we expect.

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of all this confusion. Your wife is innocent, I only culpable; for I put quack her upon telling you all these lies concerning my mistress in order to Oh, I understand you; is that all? – Sir Jaspar, by heavens and upon the the breaking off the match between Master Sparkish and her, to make 290 word of a physician sir – way for Master Harcourt. Whispers to sir jaspar sparkish sir jaspar Did you so, eternal rotten-tooth? Then it seems my mistress was not Nay, I do believe you truly. – Pardon me, my virtuous lady, and dear of false to me, I was only deceived by you. Brother that should have been, honour. 315 now man of conduct, who is a frank person now – to bring your wife old lady squeamish to her lover – ha? 295 What, then all’s right again? lucy sir jaspar I assure you, sir, she came not to Master Horner out of love, for she Ay, ay, and now let us satisfy him too. loves him no more – They whisper with pinchwife mrs pinchwife pinchwife Hold, I told lies for you, but you shall tell none for me, for I do love An eunuch! Pray, no fooling with me. Master Horner with all my soul, and nobody shall say me nay. Pray quack don’t you go to make poor Master Horner believe to the contrary; ’tis 300 I’ll bring half the surgeons in town to swear it. spitefully done of you, I’m sure. pinchwife horner (Aside to mrs pinchwife) They! – They’ll swear a man that bled to death through his wounds 320 Peace, dear idiot! died of an apoplexy. mrs pinchwife quack Nay, I will not peace. Pray hear me, sir. Why, all the town has heard the report of him. pinchwife pinchwife Not till I make you. But does all the town believe it? quack Enter dorilant, quack Pray enquire a little, and first of all these. dorilant pinchwife Horner, your servant; I am the doctor’s guest, he must excuse our 305 I’m sure when I left the town he was the lewdest fellow in’t. 325 intrusion. quack quack I tell you, sir, he has been in France since; pray ask but these ladies and But what’s the matter, gentlemen? For heaven’s sake, what’s the matter? gentlemen, your friend Master Dorilant. – Gentlemen and ladies, horner ha’n’t you all heard the late sad report of poor Master Horner? Oh, ’tis well you are come. ’Tis a censorious world we live in; you may all ladies have brought me a reprieve, or else I had died for a crime I never Ay, ay, ay. committed, and these innocent ladies had suffered with me. There- 310 dorilant fore, pray satisfy these worthy, honourable, jealous gentlemen – that – Why, thou jealous fool, do’st thou doubt it? He’s an arrant French 330 Whispers capon.

294 man of conduct you who tell us how to conduct ourselves. 314–15 dear of honour See II.i.372 note. frank i.e., Pinchwife’s sarcasm (III.ii.312) is thrown back at him. 320–1 Doctors sometimes perjured themselves about the causes of deaths through duelling, as it 308 censorious world This echoes Lady Fidget’s phrase at IV.iii.56–70. was illegal. 309 had should have. 331 capon castrated cock, eunuch.

146 147 the country wife act v scene iv mrs pinchwife sparkish ’Tis false, sir, you shall not disparage poor Master Horner, for to my And because I will not disparage my parts I’ll ne’er be one. certain knowledge – horner lucy And I, alas, can’t be one. Oh hold! pinchwife squeamish (Aside to lucy) But I must be one – against my will, to a country wife, with a country Stop her mouth! 335 murrain to me. 355 lady fidget (To pinchwife) mrs pinchwife (Aside) Upon my honour, sir, ’tis as true – And I must be a country wife still too, I find, for I can’t, like a city one, dainty be rid of my musty husband and do what I list. D’ye think we would have been seen in his company? horner squeamish Now, sir, I must pronounce your wife innocent, though I blush whilst Trust our unspotted reputations with him! I do it, and I am the only man by her now exposed to shame, which I lady fidget (Aside to horner) will straight drown in wine, as you shall your suspicion, and the ladies’ 360 This you get, and we too, by trusting your secret to a fool. troubles we’ll divert with a ballet. Doctor, where are your maskers? horner lucy Peace, madam. (Aside to quack) Well, doctor, is not this a good 340 Indeed, she’s innocent, sir, I am her witness. And her end of coming design, that carries a man on unsuspected, and brings him off safe? out was but to see her sister’s wedding, and what she has said to your pinchwife (Aside) face of her love to Master Horner was but the usual innocent revenge Well, if this were true; but my wife – on a husband’s jealousy – was it not, madam? Speak. 365 dorilant whispers with mrs pinchwife mrs pinchwife (Aside to lucy and horner) alithea Since you’ll have me tell more lies. – Yes, indeed, bud. Come, brother, your wife is yet innocent you see. But have a care of pinchwife too strong an imagination, lest like an over-concerned, timorous For my own sake fain I would all believe; gamester, by fancying an unlucky cast, it should come. Women and 345 Cuckolds like lovers should themselves deceive. fortune are truest still to those that trust ’em. But – (Sighs) – lucy His honour is least safe, too late I find, 370 And any wild thing grows but the more fierce and hungry for being Who trusts it with a foolish wife or friend. kept up, and more dangerous to the keeper. alithea There’s doctrine for all husbands, Master Harcourt. harcourt I edify, madam, so much that I am impatient till I am one. 350 dorilant 352 sp sparkish Q2–5, O (Eew. Q1). The Q1 reading baffles all editors. And I edify so much by example I will never be one. disparage my parts lower myself (by an unequal match); echoing what he said at II.i.257 but with a different meaning. 355 murrain cattle plague; ‘he talks as like a grazier as he looks’, as mentioned at I.i.343. 361 ballet dance in masquerade. Doctor, where are your maskers? Holger M. Klein suggests the question should be put to Sir . Jaspar, who promised ‘fiddles’ (V.ii.94), perhaps implying masqueraders (Archiv, vol. 211 336, 339 sp lady fidget ed. (Old. La. Fid. Q–5, O). (1974), 66–8). But Sir Jaspar would not have provided a dance of cuckolds (l. 371); Quack 342 sd What do they whisper about? She perhaps tells him Horner is not impotent, and he probably would, and he and Horner seem to be plotting something at V.ii.101–2. Such final perhaps tells her she can’t marry Horner and must deceive Pinchwife. dances were conventional in comedy and needed little explanation. 350 edify profit spiritually from Alithea’s ‘doctrine’; a Puritan term, used with mock solemnity. 362 end of purpose in.

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A dance of cuckolds epilogue horner Vain fops, but court, and dress, and keep a pother To pass for women’s men with one another; Spoken by Mrs Knepp But he who aims by women to be prized, First by the men, you see, must be despised. 375 Now, you the vigorous, who daily here [Exeunt] O’er vizard-mask in public domineer, And what you’d do to her if in place where; Nay, have the confidence to cry ‘Come out!’ Yet when she says ‘Lead on’ you are not stout; 5 But to your well-dressed brother straight turn round And cry ‘Pox on her, Ned, she can’t be sound!’ Then slink away, a fresh one to engage, With so much seeming heat and loving rage, You’d frighten listening actress on the stage; 10 Till she at last has seen you huffing come And talk of keeping in the tiring-room, Yet cannot be provoked to lead her home. Next, you Falstaffs of fifty, who beset Your buckram maidenheads, which your friends get; 15 And whilst to them you of achievements boast, They share the booty, and laugh at your cost. In fine, you essenced boys, both old and young, Who would be thought so eager, brisk, and strong, Yet do the ladies, not their husbands, wrong; 20 Whose purses for your manhood make excuse, And keep your Flanders mares for show, not use; Encouraged by our woman’s man today, 371 sd The final dance does not express the harmony of conventional comedy. Weales argues that if it is to have the effect of poking fun at Pinchwife and Sir Jaspar it must be set to music Mrs Knepp Q2–5, O (Mr Hart Q1). Obviously the epilogue should be spoken by an actress. associated with cuckolds, and suggests the tune ‘Cuckolds in a Row’, which was readily 2 vizard-mask See I.i.159 note. available in John Playford’s The Dancing Master. But as Weales says, Pepys saw Charles II 3 if in place where if you were in a convenient place. dancing to this tune in December 1662; surely the comic effect could have been achieved 4 ‘Come out!’ Come out and fight. more reliably by having the masqueraders wear horns. 5 stout brave. 372 keep a pother make a fuss. 7 sound See V.ii.43 note. 375 sd ed. Q1 does not have an exeunt here; it has ‘FINIS’ lower down the page, and ‘FINIS’ 11 huffing See Prologue, l. 19 note. again after the epilogue on the next page. Many but not all late seventeenth-century play 12 keeping See I.i.404–5 note. quartos have an exeunt or exeunt omnes after the last line of the play and before the epilogue; tiring-room See Prologue, l. 25 note. but the stage business is not obvious. At the end of The Man of Mode (1676) Old Bellair 14–17 These lines refer to Henry IV, Part I II.iv, where Falstaff boasts of having fought numerous says ‘So now we’ll in’ and addresses ‘to the pit’ a couplet requesting applause; this is followed ‘rogues in buckram suits’ after the Gadshill robbery, though he has in fact run away. His by an exeunt omnes and an epilogue. In Restoration productions generally the curtain was friends Prince Hal and Poins have shared the booty and have the last laugh. Similarly elderly probably not lowered till after the epilogue (Pierre Danchin, privately). So I suggest that in gallants boast of their conquests to the young men who have actually had the women. a modern production of The Country Wife the players should all go off after Horner’s final 18 essenced perfumed. speech, and come back for the applause; then the actress playing Lady Fidget should step 22 Flanders mares (literally) horses for the heavy coaches of the aristocracy, a status symbol; forward as herself, and speak the epilogue. (metaphorically) kept women or prostitutes.

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A Horner’s part may vainly think to play; And may intrigues so bashfully disown 25 That they may doubted be by few or none; May kiss the cards at picquet, ombre, loo, And so be thought to kiss the lady too; But, gallants, have a care, faith, what you do. The world, which to no man his due will give, 30 You by experience know you can deceive, And men may still believe you vigorous, But then we women – there’s no coz’ning us!

FINIS

24–6 i.e., the boys may pretend embarrassment in the hope of getting a false reputation for being rakes. 27 kiss the cards i.e., make a flirtatious gesture. piquet, ombre, loo fashionable card games. 33 coz’ning cozening, deceiving. . 152