THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES February 20, 2001 PAGE 21 Bitter November Romanc Stars at Loss to Ignite ·Dull Tale Keanu Reeves should have like totally stuck with Bill and Ted 's Excellent Adventure because this real acting stuff is completely bogus. I know, I'm sorry, but it was going to be said eventually. Might as well Movie Review get it out of the way by Ryan Bloom early. I promise, no more "whoa, . Columbia dude" or "I know kung-fu" Rocking Out: Neil Diamond jams with fervid fans Jason Biggs, Jack Black and from here on out. But regard Steve Zahn in the raunchy farce Saving Silverman. less of Keanu's acting abilities - or lack thereof - Sweet November (*) still doesn't Silverman Too Silly to Save Warner Bros. have a whole lot to offer. Touching Moment: Keanu Reeves and Charlize Kitsch rocker Neil Diamond has spent ter jumps on his head and a slapstick strug The story follows Nelson Theron play unlikely lovers in Sweet November. over 20 years in cinematic purgatory for his gle ensues. Ha ha ha, right? Moss (Reeves), a well-estab critically-panned "acting" debut in 1980's The terrific talents of Steve Zahn and lished but egotistical nightmare who works Voelker manages to avoid falling into the Movie Review The Jazz Singer, and Jack Black, two of the ripest second far too much and plays far too little. Of cliched traps that are all too often the movie he selects for bananas in contemporary film (see Out of course this all changes when he gets fired employed to end sappy romance movies by Jamie Peck his silver-screen atone- Sight and High Fidelity), are rottenly from his job, loses his girlfriend and meets such as this one. I wouldn't go so far as to ment is the eye-rollingly idiotic Saving employed in Silverman. Though the pair is Sara Deever (Charlize Theron). The real call the conclusion creative, but it serves Silverman(* out of four)? Sweet Caroline! promisingly cast as best buds and band fun begins when the two move in together its purpose in an at least somewhat realis Film raunch never seemed so flat! mates in a Diamond cover-trio, the movie under some very abnormal, albeit interest tic fashion. Diamond, appearing as himself toward gives them little to do that's not obnoxious ing, circumstances. The only other thing Sweet November the end of this vulgarity-laden farce, actu or intelligence-insulting as they attempt to The deal is that Sara will help Nelson has going for it is a single humorous scene. ally elicits a few chuckles mocking his rescue their third friend and group member learn to live life the right way for a month Not that it merits sitting through the movie, retro sideburns-and-love-songs image. But (American Pie's Jason Biggs) from the (November, hence the title), under the stipu but the scene involves a cutting-edge ad he's among the sparse amusements manipulative claws of his sexy-but-evil lation that as soon as his time is over, he must pitch, a couple of well-illustrated hot dogs Silverman has to offer. The movie makes girlfriend, played by Amanda Peet as Satan leave and forget about her. Not surprisingly, and a series of scantily-clad women. To say topping the crude-joke-per-minute ratio of in high heels. the once-reluctant Nelson soon falls com any more would ruin the one possible high its countless brethren such a priority that it Peet's last movie was called Whipped, pletely in love with Sara. Beware: Bad dia point of this film. shuns the golden rule of comedy: to be and that title is an appropriate description logue and cheesy love speeches ensue. When you put aside the hot dogs and consistently funny. of how well she has her man in a vice-like There is no sense in ruining the "sur halfway-decent ending, this film is just A pox on those pesky Farrelly brothers grip. But Biggs' depiction as the epitome prise ending," so no further plot points will another ho-hum rehash that really adds for rubbing bodily-fluid hair gel into the of nice guys clashes with his masochistic be discussed, but suffice it to say it's high nothing new to the pot. If you have never mainstream with their bawdy 1998 smash· acceptance of Peet's unfathomably mean ly doubtful that people will get their socks seen last summer's Autumn in New York, There s Something About Mary. Since then, behavior and is too much to swallow. He knocked off over this movie. Even if the the 1968 original film version of Sweet the multiplex crowd has had to endure a must be enchanted by her magical breasts, commercial trailers didn't give away the November or any one of the other innumer slew of inferior wannabes with similarly as Peet trots around in an array of cleav twist, the idea is about as new as cavemen. able similar movies released in between, nutty/naughty agendas, most of which - age-revealing outfits straight from the I bet they even had the same story, then you may actually find something inter including the Farrellys' own Me, Myself & Jennifer Lopez collection. although probably in some weird Ooga esting in this film ... but I doubt it. Irene -lack the sweet human element that Exactly 12 months ago, Peet was Booga style dialect. propelled Mary to surprisingly warm and deservedly receiving raves for her scene As bad as that may sound, credit must Sweet November, at area theaters, is endearing lengths. stealing work in The Whole Nine Yards, a be given where it's due. Screenwriter Kurt rated PG-13 for language and sexuality. Saving Silverman is comparatively cold horrible movie she energized with electric and mechanical, with potty humor so dull comic timing. Now, it appears the horrible and flavor-free that by the time the movie movie has gotten the better of her - and finally grows genuinely entertaining in its Zahn and Black, too. Her one-note nasti Do you have an exciting final 15 minutes - thanks to some raucous ness and their one-note stupidity lead Jerry Springer-esque goings-on at a chaot Saving Silverman to common ground: At ic wedding ceremony- you'll have for least it's an equal-opportunity offender. upcoming event gotten how to laugh or even smile. Let's put it this way: When a character is intro Saving Silverman, at area theaters, is that you'd like to announce duced as a pest-control specialist, you're rated PG-13 for language, comic violence ticking off the seconds until some cute crit- and non-stop crude humor. in "Incidentally ..."? Student Let us help you spread the Rush Tickets $10-$15 When you buy your tickets word! Send information in person at the Center Stage Box Office on the day of the performance. (Students must present valid about your event to 10. Subject to availability.) College [email protected]. Night* Thursday, March 1 *Buy Student Rush tickets In advance! 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