This book is dedicated to my Mum and Lupus.

Lupus is a disease that attacks all parts of your body. It is an autoimmune disease that many affects woman aged 15-45. In 2006 my mom was diagnosed with lupus. It is not a very well known disease and there is currently no cure. I like to think that if people are aware of this disease then scientists will be able to help everyone with lupus, including my mum.

I got into songwriting about a year ago and already I have written over 10 songs and released an EP called Broken Records. I love writing songs because it is a great way to express yourself.

This is a book full of my songs, photos, poems and artwork. The End It’s always too hard to run. It’s always too hard to hide. But if you carry on, no matter if you go wrong, You’re going to make it. It’s always too hard to back down. It’s always too hard to hit the ground. But if you carry on to the horizon, You’ll get to the end of the world. And I’m running too fast I’m going to escape my past. And I’ll climb every mountain and I’ll follow the rivers, To get to the end. To the end It’s always too hard to run. It’s always too hard to hide. But if you carry on, no matter if you go wrong, You’re going to make it. And I’m running too fast I’m going to escape my past. And I’ll climb every mountain and I’ll follow the rivers, To get to the end. To the end

Memories If I can’t get you the moon. Does it mean I can’t still be with you? I want to be able to give you everything and a little bit more. If I can’t give you my all. Does it mean I only stand two foot tall? If I can’t have the boy I love the most, I’ll give you everything and a little bit more. I’ll give you everything and a little bit more. It was when we had our first dance. I said I loved you and you gave me a chance. And then you took me down to the coast. These are the memories I remember the most. And all the people will make fun. When we lie side by side looking at the sun. But I will block it out, And keep giving you everything and a little bit more I’ll keep giving you everything and a little bit more. It was when we had our first dance. I said I loved you and you gave me a chance. And then you took me down to the coast. These are the memories I remember the most. If I can’t get you the moon. Does it mean I can’t still be with you?

The Old Tree It stands tall, branches wide. As if it wants to hold you in an embrace. Trees like this are hard to find. It’s as if they come from a different race.

Its trunk gnarled, showing age. But it might not live for much longer. Because now we are at a stage. When the tree is not getting any stronger.

People, they are the biggest enemy. They chop it down for wood. Killing the dear old tree. This is so sad and really not good.

All the animals, they lost their home. Killing the tree is costly for all. Now they have no where to go. There is no tree that stands as tall.

It stood tall, branches wide. All it wanted was an embrace. All the trees have been moved aside. Now there are farms in their place I wrote this poem after watching a programme on tv about the planet. Every second an area the size of a football field is lost too deforestation. We have known about deforestation for a very long time but no one has done anything about it. Lots of animals have become endangered because of habitat loss including many different species of monkey. I hope that we can save the planet but we need to do something fast. Scientist have dis- covered that in 12 years climate change will be- come irreversible.

The butterfly is one of the symbols for Lupus. They symbol life and prosperity. They are very delicate insects which shows how precious life is. Mama You’re a fighter. You stay strong through the hard times. You’re my mama. And I’ll love you ‘till I die. You stand up tall when the doctors call, So, I sing mama. Your disease is meant to hurt you, But it only makes you get up, and you will never be brought down to the ground. You’re a fighter. You stay strong through the hard times. You’re my mama. And I’ll love you ‘till I die. You stand up tall when the doctors call, So, I sing mama. Protest They want to be heard, But their calls will fall to silence. Some think they are absurd. But they don’t mean any violence.

They join together, chanting loud. ‘the earth is dying, the earth’s dying.’ All together, they sound so proud, But no one cares that they are crying.

Some deny that the facts are true. But we all know what is going on. It may not be because of me and you. But if we don’t act fast, our world WILL BE GONE.

I wrote this poem because of all of the climate change protests that have been happening. The main leader of these protests is Extinction Rebellion. I think that cli- mate change is something that is really important but it still seems like it is pushed to the side. We have known about the ozone layer for years but the issue is still there.

Nightfall I will travel until the end of the world for you. I won’t leave a stone unturned and you know that it’s true. I will travel until the end of the world for you I will climb the mountains high and swim the oceans blue. I will search on and on. I won’t stop until night fall. Because I still love you. I will see you soon I will search on and on. I won’t stop until night fall. Because I still love you. I will see you soon I will search on and on. I won’t stop until night fall. Because I still love you. I will see you soon Changes I hope that you know, just before you go, That these changes, oh changes. Will never change the way I looked at you yesterday, But these are changes just changes. I love you so, so these changes will never let go of our love, Of our love. I know it’s going to be hard to look back at our past, But I know it’s for the best. The changes I hope that you know, I’ll miss you when you go. Oh changes, oh changes. We knew it would be soon, that our life was through, But these are changes, just changes. And here I’m going to let go, These changes will smash through my soul. To see your empty chair in the corner over there. Oh changes, changes. I love you so, so these changes will never let go of our love, Of our love. I know it’s going to be hard to look back at our past, But I know it’s for the best. The changes Aeroplanes The clouds in the sky won’t go away. Ever since that horrid day. The summer is still yet to come. I’m waiting for you and the sun. I’m waiting for the day, When you say why you went astray. And I’ll be watching aeroplanes. I want them to take me away. Aeroplanes. The sun is still not here. I am filled with all the fear. That you’ll never make it back. I feel like I’m starting to crack I’m waiting for the day, When you say why you went astray. And I’ll be watching aeroplanes. I want them to take me away. Aeroplanes. I’m waiting for the day, When you say why you went astray. And I’ll be watching aeroplanes. I want them to take me away. Aeroplanes.

Broken records is the name of my new EP!!!!! It has 5 songs in it including Aero- planes, Memories and The End but the main song was Broken Records. It took a long time but it was such a big learning experi- ence for me. It really opened my eyes and made me realise how difficult the music in- dustry is. It is crazy how many times you have to record the same harmony, or Broken Records It was the sweet spell of love that blew me away. You are all I’m thinking of everyday. I remember last summer when we had it all. We were dancing together. How could we fall? I can’t hear you now. The music got too loud and its drowning out your voice. I can’t hear you now. The music got too loud. Can’t stop the noise. There may be times when it doesn’t go to plan. I guess that you just weren’t my man. And now there is an awful sound, When broken records spin around. Broken records And I miss you. The seconds are so slow. Loves a game for two. Why did you go? And now I stand patiently here. Will you take my hand and get rid of my fear? I can’t hear you now. The music got too loud and its drowning out your voice. I can’t hear you now. The music got too loud. Can’t stop the noise. There may be times when it doesn’t go to plan. I guess that you just weren’t my man. And now there is an awful sound, When broken records spin around.

Disconnected I was doing ok, But then you had to get in my way. I have never been so affected. Then when we got disconnected. And you cannot take it down. It’s there for everyone around. And I have never felt so rejected. When we got disconnected. What about us? What about all the fun that we had? What about trust? You just had to post on Instagram. What about us. I was doing ok, But then you had to get in my way. I have never been so affected. Then when we got disconnected. What about us? What about all the fun that we had? What about trust? You just had to post on Instagram. What about us.

In this day and age, it is so easy to post or text something without even thinking about its effects. More than half of young people have been affected by cyberbullying. I think it is really important that people are aware of this form of bullying because I think it is the most hurtful. From just a simple mean text to pretending to be someone you are not cyberbullying takes many forms.

Inner demons In my head there is always someone underneath my bed. In my mind the cabinet always has a monster behind. I feel sad deep inside. When you’re fighting your inner demons there is nowhere to hide. Please accept my apologies. It may be hard, but I beg and plead. It will fill the hole in my loving heart. Without you I’ve been falling apart. In my heart I wish me, and my inner demons could part. In my bones I feel like I can’t walk upstairs alone. I feel sad deep inside. When you’re fighting your inner demons there is nowhere to hide. Please accept my apologies. It may be hard, but I beg and plead. It will fill the hole in my loving heart. Without you I’ve been falling apart.

Dancing days We would go down to the water The weather getting hotter And we swayed together You as light as feather. Well I remember our dancing days All my worries far away But now my arms don’t carry your weight I still remember our dancing days You were growing older Your head on my shoulder But everyone has to die But I want to dance one last time They were our dancing days All my worries far away But now my arms don’t carry your weight I still remember our dancing days And if you hear me cry Just know I’ll be with you tonight And we will dance together any day Dancing days

Street light I’ve now been set free From all of your misery But you threw it all away And I will not cry about it today And I will be missing you But now I know what true You say that I did you wrong But I don’t think it was me who couldn’t stand strong. And it was fun, I can not deny it. But making these lies is not the right spirit. And it’s not just your life, it’s mine. But it won’t get me down. It won’t get me down So let me run, Under the street light.

Jealous Why did you leave me in this world alone? I knew that someday you’d have to go. So what I don’t understand is why you took your life. I just want to know why? Tell me why you left before me. Tell me why you got to leave. Tell me how did you get to heaven from hell. Tell me if you’re happy without me. You could say i’m jealous. I know I’m jealous. Just say I’m jealous. Oh call me jealous. That day what went through your head. I didn’t really know you wanted to be dead. So what I don’t understand is why you took your life. I just want to ask why? Tell me why you left before me. Tell me why you got to leave. Tell me how did you get to heaven from hell. Tell me if you’re happy without me. You could say i’m jealous. I know I’m jealous. Just say I’m jealous. Oh call me jealous. Tell me You were my prince, I was your princess. We had a castle of our own, the same path to go. We had two little kids but just look what you did. You took away the family I loved. You just walked out the door, saying our love was no more, I don’t care. You just abandoned me here, With two kids and fear, I don’t mind. Just tell me you love me, Tell Mei mean something in your heart. Why did you leave, I do believe, You are the one for me. You just walked out the door, saying our love was no more, I don’t care. You just abandoned me here, With two kids and fear, I don’t mind. Just tell me you love me, Tell Mei mean something in your heart. Why did you leave, I do believe, You are the one for me. Searching for you I miss you, I just wish you, Knew how much I love you. But I can’t tell you because you’re gone. I’ll be searching, searching miles for you. I’ll be waiting, waiting here for you. But I know you are dead in my head. But I’ll be searching for you. Because I love you I’m just an old girl, No life or family. But I still believe You’re here with me but I know you’re gone I just want to get away. Up to heaven so I can be with you again. And I don’t have to live alone. I’ll be searching, searching miles for you. I’ll be waiting, waiting here for you. But I know you are gone so I say so long. But I’ll be searching for you. Disconnected I was doing ok But then you had to get in my way. I have never been so affected. Then when we got disconnected. And you cannot take it down. It’s there for everyone around. And I have never felt so rejected. When we got disconnected. What about us? What about all the fun that we had? What about trust? You just had to post on Instagram. What about us. I was doing ok, But then you had to get in my way. I have never been so affected. Then when we got disconnected. What about us? What about all the fun that we had? What about trust? You just had to post on Instagram. What about us. Perfect You may not have the pretty blue eyes. Or the gorgeous smile. But that doesn’t matter to me. You may not have the straight teeth, Or make me unable to breath, But that doesn’t mean I don’t love you. You don’t have to be perfect, For me to love you until the day I die. You don’t have to be smart, Just make sure to have a heart, So I’ll love you always. You may not have the nice skin, Or a beautiful chin, But I don’t mind, no I don’t. You may not have the curly hair, Now that is fair, But I don’t care, you’re still the one You don’t have to be perfect, For me to love you until the day I die. You don’t have to be smart, Just make sure to have a heart, So I’ll love you always. You don’t have to be perfect, For me to love you until the day I die. You don’t have to be smart, Just make sure to have a heart, So I’ll love you always. Slipping Walking back to the hospital block. I saw you in the place I left you, in the dark. There are flowers by you bed and you have a bald head. Well the gods will take you back tonight. It will be alright, it will be alright. If you have to go know that I love you so. I love you so. And it was just that day. I knew you would soon go away. Your life slipping from you fingers. Your heart stopped and you made my tears fall. Nurses rushing past, trying to help you. I’m sitting in the corner hoping it’s not true. You’re my best friend how could you be dead. Well the gods will take you back tonight. It will be alright, it will be alright. If you have to go know that I love you so. I love you so. And it was just that day. I knew you would soon go away. Your life slipping from you fingers. Your heart stopped and you made my tears fall. And I need you here, please stay with me. How could god ever set you free. And I just hope that you can see. That I want you here with me. And it was just that day. I knew you would soon go away. Your life slipping from you fingers. Your heart stopped and you made my tears fall.

Decisions What did I do to deserve all this pain? It’s written in the stars that I don’t like the fast lane. Over all the planets afar. I’ll say the truth I don’t love you anymore. But I should be allowed my own decision. I don’t need you telling me if I’m right or wrong. I can travel up past the start. I don’t need you telling me love can’t end this fast. I’m up in the sky way up high. You’re pulling me down saying I can’t fly. But I will reach the stars. I don’t need you shouting at me in the car. But I should be allowed my own decision. I don’t need you telling me if I’m right or wrong. I can travel up past the start. I don’t need you telling me love can’t end this fast. But I should be allowed my own decision. I don’t need you telling me if I’m right or wrong. I can travel up past the start. I don’t need you telling me love can’t end this fast.

Lyrics Our family is dividing us it’s true. So, prove to me that you love me as much as I love you. Come and, see me at my window every night, It will be hard but it’s just right. But the lyrics don’t write us to part. I was destined to love you from the start. And no matter how much the world is against it. I’ll love you until we’re ended. You know that we can’t be together. But together we are strong forever. I know that it is tough. Without you my life will be rough. But the lyrics don’t write us to part. I was destined to love you from the start. And no matter how much the world is against it. I’ll love you until we’re ended. And I want you here with me. But I know that we can’t. So leave me be. And I hope that you can see. That I love me better when you’re with me. But the lyrics don’t write us to part. I was destined to love you from the start. And no matter how much the world is against it. I’ll love you until we’re ended Never You told me to fight strong, You told me o fight all day long, But look at yourself. You said yo would never die, But now you fly away. You said you love me so, You said you’d never let go. You looked at the weather, Said you’d live forever. You said there was a day, It would all go away. But you never said, That you would soon be dead. You said you love me so, You said you’d never let go. You looked at the weather, Said you’d live forever. Never, never. Last summer Full of life A snapshot of the past A happy photo, there was no strife Capturing a scene I wished had last

My mom was there In my favourite yellow sundress She ran her hands through my hair A feeling words can’t express

I can hear it The waves crashing on the shore But then a monster of a wave hit And the happy smiles were no more

I was pulled under Enveloped by the huge wave My scream as loud as thunder It was hard to be brave

Full of fear A moment that went wrong so fast My eye let’s out a tear I think of last summer, Last summer was my moms last. Speak out Sometimes you have to speak out, When people are not treating you right Sometimes you have to shout If you want people to join your fight.

There are people that stay silent. But their struggles never change. Their lives will just get more violent. This is really an outrage.

So please promise one thing If your life is unfair, speak out! You can do it anyway, you could sing. Protest, just let them no what you are about!

In the world today, there are still people living and working in environments where they are treated unfairly. One of the more devastating examples of this is fast fashion. Fast fashion is where stores sell cheap clothing that isn’t going to last. They are able to make this clothing really quickly which helps them keep up with ‘trends.’ This means all of the workers have to deal with an unhygienic and unsafe work environment. It is also very bad for the planet, being named the second biggest polluter. I really hope fast fashion can be stopped not only for the people, but for the planet. Dancing Days We would go down to the water The weather getting hotter And we swayed together You as light as feather Well I remember our dancing days All my worries far away But now my arms don’t carry your weight I still remember our dancing days You were growing older Your head on my shoulder But everyone has to die But I want to dance one last time They were our dancing days All my worries far away But now my arms don’t carry your weight I still remember our dancing days And if you hear me cry Just know I’ll be with you tonight And we will dance together any day Dancing days Scaffolding Look at what you have become You are a star up with the sun But you left me on earth alone And you’re up there on the throne You taught me how to sing Supported me through everything Taught me all that you knew But now you have something better to do And I have noticed today That my scaffolding is falling away You are becoming famous But it means I haven’t seen you in ages Jealousy is taking over me But I know that you won’t see You taught me how to sing Supported me through everything Taught me all that you knew But now you have something better to do And I have noticed today That my scaffolding is falling away I hope you enjoyed this book. I really hope that this will help tech more people about lupus and they can fi- nally find a cure for this awful disease. If you have any extra money, please donate it to Lupus UK and help find a cure!!!!!

Photo credits to Connor O’Donoghue, my brother.