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Home , Storge, The Four Loves

Love is… - The Year 6 Service

The Four

As part of the support for The Bible in Worship we offer these notes. They use some ideas from a famous book by C.S. Lewis called ‘’. The notes go through the four loves using examples from films and books and songs; and also include references to the Bible. There are a number of starting points for discussion or exploration. While these words for have come from a Christian background stories from other faiths have much to say about love.

Storge* (στοργή) This is the love that is found most often and is sometimes called . It is the love often found in . It is also the kind of love that can be seen in the way that communities respond to crises or catastrophes /Affection is somehow "built-in" or "ready-made" in some of our relationships and so people come to expect it to be there. For instance we expect love to exist between a and , between and .

This kind of love is found in films like • Frozen • The Incredibles • The Trap

This love is very strongly seen in the relationships between members of the Weasley in the Harry Potter series—the books or the films….

Some other books in which this love appears include Swallows and Amazons, Paddington Bear even The Wombles.

Maybe the song that goes best with this is ‘He ain’t heavy, He’s my Brother’, but there are also songs like ‘We are Family’

Think about • How does this love survive the ups and downs of family relationships? • Does this storge love happen in sports teams or other groups that work together?

A very famous example of storge from the Bible is in the relationship between Ruth and Naomi (Ruth’s mother-in-law) in the book of Ruth. Ruth shows her love for Naomi in these wonderful words, ‘Don't ask me to leave you! Let me go with you. Wherever you go, I will go; wherever you live, I will live. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God.’ (Ruth 1: 16)

Philia* (φιλία) This is love between friends. We do not need in order to survive; it is special because it is freely chosen.

It is seen very strongly in some films for example the strength of friendship between Harry, Hermione and Ron is vital to the plot of Harry Potter. The film ‘Up’ brings out friendship in two beautiful aspects; firstly that which ‘blossoms’ into () between Carl and his and then the ever growing between Carl and the much younger Russell.

Other films that and TV that explore friendship themes: • Once Upon a Time • The Goonies • Shrek • The Wizard of OZ

There are many elements of friendship in The Hobbit, Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children

There are a number of songs which are written around the theme of friendship such as ‘You’ve got a friend in me’, ‘You’ve got a friend’, ‘You’re my best friend’ and ‘With a little help from my friends’.

Think about: What sorts of experiences and events are used in stories to make stronger? Why do you think that animals make good metaphors for relationships?

A very common Biblical example is that of David and Jonathan—which is in 1 Samuel see chapters 18—20 and David’s lament in 2 Samuel 1:23. We are also familiar with the stories of Jesus’ friends—the disciples and, indeed, Jesus tells his disciples that they are his friends in John 15:13-15

Eros* ( ), is 'being in love' or 'loving' someone in other words ‘romantic’ love. This is the love that leads to partnerships and . The development of romance within love does not always happen, yet it has been seen historically as a vital part of these relationships, leading in the end to .

The number of stories and films which have the pursuit of romantic love as their theme is countless and includes tales such as ‘Tangled’, ‘Mirror, Mirror’ and ‘Frozen’ - there are more ‘grown-up’ films too, such as the Twilight series, Edward and Bella have captured the hearts of many! Some other films and TV include; • Beauty and the Beast

Romance also appears as an important part of stories like Superman or Spiderman

Think About Is ‘’ always the end of the story? Does anyone live ‘happily ever after’?

In some of these stories these the love is often unexpected or a surprise—it is a mystery where it comes from. This ‘mystery’ is even seen in the Bible where we find these words in the book of Proverbs: “There are four things that are too mysterious for me to understand: an eagle flying in the sky, a snake moving on a rock, a ship finding its way over the sea, and a man and a woman falling in love.” Proverbs 30:18-19

Agapē* (γάπη), is love which has no limits; and is often called ‘’ in older writings, following the famous use of the word in the King James Bible version of 1 Corinthians 13. This is perhaps the greatest of loves, and is seen most dramatically in Christianity through the life of Jesus. Unlike the other loves which are usually based on a ‘two-way’ relationship, can be entirely one-way, it is self-giving love, an offering of love following the example of Jesus. This is the love on which Christianity is based as written in the famous verse from John’s gospel ‘For God loved the world so much that he gave his only , so that everyone who believes in him may not die but have eternal life.’ (3:16)

We can see this kind of self-giving love in the way in which Yondu behaves in Guardians of the Galaxy 2

The Superheroes that we mentioned in the eros section, besides their personal relationships, might also be thought of as showing godly or self-giving love. A good discussion can be had over whether the actions of superheroes are prompted by love or duty. What is the difference between love and duty anyway?

Songs here could include ‘Love Shine a light’ the last British song to win Eurovision ‘Katrina and the Waves’ and The Beatles ‘All you need is Love’. Both of these put love itself as the centre and guide to our actions. This is similar to the way that Christians understand God’s love as the motivation for the way that life should be lived. There are a large number of love songs but they fall into two kinds; songs which celebrate love itself and those which are

Some further things to think about.

The idea of love having some kind of life of its own is found for example as a consistent theme in the Harry Potter stories and in songs like The Beatles’ ‘All you need is love’.

What kinds of love do we find in: • Bob the Builder? • Tracy Beaker? • Ice Age? • The Good Dinosaur? • Peppa Pig?

Which books have you read in which you can find our four loves?

Which authors do you think write about the different loves best?

What kinds of love can be found in traditional tales?

Finally: Which tales from other faiths or cultures do you know which feature these kinds of love?

For those of you who might want to develop the links with C.S. Lewis and the Narnia stories there are plenty of examples of the different kinds of love:

In ‘The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe’ we see: • storge love between Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy, • philia love between Lucy and Mr Tumnus • agape love in the words and actions of Aslan.

To find romantic, eros, love you have to look into other books to find Aravis and Shasta (Cor) in ‘The Horse and His ’, Caspian and Ramandu’s in ‘The Voyage of the Dawn Treader’, and even the Cabby (Frank) and his wife (Helen) in ‘The Magician’s Nephew’.

You can read the books for yourself and find the ways in which love guides, shapes and grows from the relationships between the characters.

Older readers might look forward to C.S. Lewis’ trilogy (three books) of science fiction, ‘’, ‘Voyage to Venus’ and ‘’. These books also use the ideas of different kinds of love.

* These words are pronounced something like this: Storge- Storgay Philia– filia Eros– eros with an o as in hot. This modern English is not quite the same as the sound on the ’Bit About Greek’ sheet. Agape - agapey