pageFOCUS 13 Technique • Friday, September 28, 2001 • 13 Basketball season gears up Treat yourself to the Fox Coach Paul Hewitt welcomes four top 100 Seriously in need of some culture? Tired of the FOCUS recruits and a seven-footer from Down Under to movies and the Masquerade? The Atlanta Opera’s the team this season. Check out their high school 2001-2002 season opens with Giuseppe Verdi’s Technique • Friday, September 28, 2001 stats in Sports. Page 27 classic Falstaff at the Fox Theatre. Page 19 Sarcastically witty, ‘The Onion’ visits Tech Joe Garden, the “Naked Guy” from The Onion speaks candidly to students about the art of satire By Gray Gunter this move in his discussion. Assistant Focus Editor “Life lesson number two: sometimes you fall ass-backward into a good situation and The Onion, the finest you have to be a total fucking idiot to screw source of printed and elec- it up,” said Garden. tronic satire (and blatant lies) Unlike most print media The Onion didn’t ever to come out of Madison, set out to forge a presence on the web. Wisconsin, visited Georgia Garden described the paper’s apprehension: Tech Tuesday night. Sponsored “The internet has lots of uses like launching by Student Center Ideas and Issues Com- missile codes and sending pornography.” mittee, the event featured full-time staff But the paper was unsure of the influ- writer and part-time nude model Joe Gar- ence the internet would have on entertain- den. ment media until a story about a U.S. plan It was his first public speech, and his to send vowels into Yugoslavia to make the By June Zhang / STUDENT PUBLICATIONS performance was quite entertaining. A couple names more pronounceable began to circu- Students engage in a rousing game of late-night UNO. Many of the relationships developed hundred students attended, and Garder was late via email. in while in Freshmen Experience would remain with students throughout their college career. a quick witted and in-your-face speaker, In the now familiar viral pattern of␣ Internet holding back little from the fascinated crowd distribution, the story spread rampantly until and sometime shocked crowd. it was actually read aloud on National Pub- FE dorms utilize technology He discussed the history of the newspa- lic Radio’s Car Talk. However, the email per, its rebirth through the internet and failed to give The Onion credit for the story. why he is the designated “naked guy” in so This led directly to the creation of many photos. Garden also discussed his life theonion.com; this was accompanied by a to foster a living community as a punk fan and comedy writer, the lessons tremendous surge in readership, advertis- By Holly Chapman and Sara Kauffman West campus dorms, composing 85 percent he learned along the way and the paper’s ing, content and quality in the newspaper. Contributing Writers of Tech’s freshmen housing. An academic handling of the WTC attack. Though it continues as a print newspaper in and social community is built in the Fresh- The 31-year-old Garden began life with select cities, The Onion is consistently cited Remember your freshmen year at Tech? men Experience program through various one simple goal: to move to Madison. as an Internet-original, proof that main- The overwhelming fear combined with the avenues. “The first lesson I would like to impart stream media can be outdone by the web. unsurpassable excitement of finally escaping Peer Leaders request funding and are re- on you is, if you set yourself up for an easily Garden promised that the upcoming is- your parents? Do you remember the first quired to arrange at least one activity for their attainable goal, you will be fucked because sue would focus on the September 11th friend you ever made at Tech? residents per month. Mandatory meal plans nothing in the rest of your life will come attacks in the best way possible. He noted The Georgia Tech Housing Department also provide an opportunity for freshmen to that easily,” Garden said. that the staff was affected both as New Yorkers has prided itself on making the college transi- interact and bond over common experiences. The same year he arrived in Madison and as Americans, but as satirists it was their tion easier through its unique freshmen pro- Another key element that develops dormito- two college students from the University of duty to mock the silliness surrounding the gramming. By working closely with Residence ry community and enhances the FE experi- Wisconsin began publishing a free, fake event while trying not to be disrespectful of Hall Association (RHA), GT Housing has ence is the utilization of the electronic network. newspaper entitled The Onion. Garden joined those involved. developed a dynamic schedule of events to “Several things promote community in early on as a part-time contributing writer, Articles include interviews with the hi- integrate incoming students into the Tech the dorm. One thing is becoming adjusted to earning a mere $10 a story. jackers who are stunned to find themselves community. Through both socialization and the rigors of college academic life. Another Up until the mid-1990s, the paper re- burning in hell, pleas from the President for technology savvy events, Housing has creat- thing would be the activities that the Peer mained a print-only newspaper available in stars not to make another charity record ed one of the most successful student pro- Leaders do with their section. These activities just three cities. After a few years of success, and infographics illustrating the dramatic grams on campus: Freshmen Experience. encourage bonds to form between residents a majority of the staff relocated and moved increase in hugging. Freshmen Experience (FE) aims to devel- and helps [them] learn more about the envi- their base operations from Madison to New Perhaps Wired magazine put it best when op a healthy community for its students by ronment that they live in,” Tim Alman, a York City. it said,” The Onion may be vulgar, insensi- providing numerous services, including man- fifth year CS major and Peer Advisor, said. Soon after, Garden was given the oppor- tive, sexist, racist, ageist, antipapist or even, datory meal plans, section activities, and Res- “While living in the same hall, many resi- tunity to come to New York for the paper as on occasion, offensive, but unlike its Web Net support. a full-time comedy writer. He reflected on rivals, it’s bankably funny.” The program encompasses both East and See LAN, page 17 The dynamic nature of geology Dr. Lizarralde of EAS studies marine geology, concentrating specifically on the formations in the sand of the ocean floor and how they move and evolve. The Earth is old, like more than four billion this. Well, it’s really useful and can be quite precise self, “Why does beach water years old. A lot’s happened over that time: oceans for our geological applications. After a whole lot of taste like it’s been used for cook- have formed and dried up; continents have shifted numerical analysis, we can determine the depth of ing pasta?” Dr. Lizarralde stud- around; and mountains and volcanoes have arisen. different strata and consequently determine the sites ies why; it’s a geological issue These phenomena are the sort of thing studied by of geological activity. actually. It turns out that the geologists. So now we have a way to figure out the composi- ocean floor in this part of the I’m sure you already knew that. But do you tion the Earth’s crust. That leads to cool discoveries Atlantic is extremely sandy. know how they figured out all these things? The like why California is drifting off into the Pacific, or Consequently, rivers of fresh- Earth is too big to study in a lab, and it’s not like we how Pangea separated. There are lots of interesting water seep out from the land, can reproduce the original situations. One of the problems. Many of them are even pertinent to present- guided by the contours of the spiffiest tools used by modern geologists is a lot like day global ecology. sand; the saline ocean water sonar. (It’s actually a lot more like sticks of dyna- Dr. Lizarralde of the School of Earth and Atmo- also seeps back inland. So any mite, but whatever.) spheric Sciences studies some particularly interest- freshwater in the ground has some See, different kinds of rocks like granite, basalt ing issues in the area of marine geology. After all, ocean water components in it too, and limestone carry acoustic (sound) waves at dif- most of the Earth’s crust is under water—that’s like calcite (calcium carbonate,

ferent speeds. So when there is a transition between where all the action is. CaCO3) and magnesite (magnesium these different rock types, the waves are reflected. If you’ve ever been to the beach anywhere be- carbonate, MgCO3). These components (This situation is analogous to index of refraction tween the Chesapeake and Miami, you’ve probably and dissolved sand make the drinking changes in optical systems.) You probably spent like noticed that the tap water doesn’t normally taste a day way back in sophomore physics talking about that good. And sometime, you must’ve asked your- See Research, page 16 14 • Friday, September 28, 2001 • Technique FOCUS Is student cell phone usage completely out of control? By Gray Gunter campus was no exception. Professors have begun to include The wireless world isn’t simply own service bill. This fact speaks Assistant Focus Editor Like the computer and the beeper mobile phone etiquette not only in waiting for student customers to both to the sharp decrease in service before it, the cell phone has trickled their syllabus but also in their first- come to them. Rather the already fees as well as the preponderance of Once, down through the hierarchy of the day orientation. Many student agen- 19 billion dollar a year industry is a reasonable income among students. long ago in the professional world from doctors and das now include a paragraph asking putting serious money behind re- Demand for mobile phone ac- distant and for- executives to the everyday office all phones and pagers be turned off search to discover how many stu- cess has grown so quickly among gotten past of the drone and finally to the youth and or be set to silent before entering dents already own a cellular, which young people that British research- early 1990s, when students of America. lecture. Recently, the College of students want them and what at- ers are suggesting cell phones may public smokers and It is impossible to be part of ev- Computing has authorized a more tracts them to one particular service be challenging cigarettes as the ob- dot matrix printers still roamed the eryday life at Georgia Tech without dramatic policing. CS courses have versus another. ject of style and rebellion among earth, mobile phones were a bulky witnessing the evidence of this as- begun including sanctions against Cellular One recently conduct- teens. In an issue of the British Med- and expensive status symbols of tounding integration. students who forget to silence their ed such market research on college ical Journal a group of scientists post- wealthy and important people. While walking to class you can phones, issuing zeros to offenders. students with the help of the Arizo- ed their findings, which suggest a In those days, the thought of always find someone attempting to Still, the interruptions and fac- na State University College of Busi- correlation between the number of someone owning and using a mo- dial his or her friend’s ulty frustrations continue. When ness. Of the 635 college students teens in the UK who use cellular bile phone conjured up images of number. After- asked about her run-ins with the surveyed a little over half already phones and those who smoke. executives and stock traders, fed- noons around the “technology-that-finds-you-any- owned a mobile phone. From 1996 to 1993 the number eral agents and ever-popular campanile attract where” LCC professor Shannon These users sited style and con- of British 15-year-olds who smoke drug dealers. To the average not only the lunch Dobranski said, “This happens a venience as the primary draws of a dropped from 30 to 23 percent. worker, and certainly the av- crowd but also the lot in my class, and I only mind cell phone. Over half the nonusers Over the same period in the same erage student, cellular midday callers tired when the student answers. Normally polled said the initial cost of the group cell phone use rose sharply to phones were a novel and of coordinating students are very apologetic, but once phone as well as monthly service 70 percent. This led the researchers potentially useful toy they walking and talking. in a speech class a student answered charges were the primary reason keep- to infer teens were choosing wire- could never afford. With one ring, real, the phone in the middle of her class- ing them from purchasing a mobile less service over cigarettes. Now, roughly a dozen face-to-face conver- mate’s presentation and carried on phone. This link is perhaps limited to years later, cellular phones sations get obliterat- a brief conversation.” Surprisingly, a significant ma- Britain where “pay-as-you-go” ser- have evolved from an iso- ed. In the next few years high schools jority of students don’t consider the vices that require no credit checks lated luxury of the rich to Then of course and colleges are projected to under- cost of the service plan a crucial and no parental approval are far the new necessity of the there’s every student’s go a further saturation of mobile factor in the choice of phone or more popular and widely used by masses. For most of the favorite brush with phones. A study released by Cah- service. According to ASU and Cel- teens. current generation, the cellular technology. At ner’s In-Stat Group at the end of lular One’s research the top three There is no foreseeable down- cell phone lost its awe- some point during a 2000 showed that there were 11 factors are size of the phone, the turn in cell phone use among the inspiring appeal when lecture that you were million cell phone users ages 10 to caller ID capability of the phone young or any other group. The wire- mom or dad started us- actually trying to pay 24, broadly characterized as the youth and the operating range of the wire- less phone is the newest modern ing one for work. Over attention to, a few notes market. This demographic is ex- less service. necessity, like the car and the com- the past seven years cell of Beethoven awkward- pected to grow to 43 million users This study, as well as other ex- puter that came before it. As so many phone usage has explod- ly chime out from some- by the year 2004, a figure cell phone aminations of wireless phone use marvels of this age have before, the ed and aggressively in- one’s cell phone and all manufacturers and wireless service among America’s youth, has shown mobile phone will subject the world tegrated itself into our discussion and pretense providers are counting on to bring that roughly a quarter of all college to it’s own innovative conveniences culture. Of course Tech of focus stops. in future profits. students with cell phones pay their and nuisances. ○○○○○○○○○○ ○○○○○○○○○○ ○○○○○○○○○○ ○○○○○○○○○○ Mobile PaymentPlans NumberofUsers ShiftAwayfromLandLines UsageWhileDriving Prepaid plans, where users have There are currently over 110 mil- Approximately five percent of Over 85 percent of cell phone Matters a certain number of minutes per lion cell phone users in the U.S. Americans only have a cellular owners use their phones at least month without additional charg- There are 40,000 new subscrib- phone. occasionally while driving. More es, are expected to account for ers every day. That rate of in- than 27 percent use their phones Safety 20 percent of cellular market share crease exceeds the birth rate. Some StatusSymbols during half or more of their trips. ○○○○○○ within the next two years. ○○○○○○ experts predict worldwide sub- ○○○○○○ ○○○○○○ About three percent of Ameri- Approximately 118,000 wireless scribership will reach 1.2 bil- It is estimated that 22 percent of cans behind the wheel at any 911 calls are made per day. lion people by 2005. cellular customers do not use their moment are also talking on hand- phone or use it infrequently. held cell phones. FOCUS Technique • Friday, September 28, 2001 • 15 The eccentricities of the engineer Word to the Wise By Craig J. Davis worked side by side with engineers. ting and devising plans to reach his Contributing Writer His interest in perfection, like many ultimate goal: complete and utter Character Analysis engineers, probably comes from his world domination. Dilbert The Boss In another world, engineers would high ambition; he was valedictori- In an imaginary world like that Technology savvy and proud The oblivious manager arche- have a dog and no wife. an of his high school class at of Dilbert every engineer works most of it. Although he struggles so- type, he's every employee’s worst The boss would Windham Ashland Jewett Central productively in cramped cubicles, cially and doesn’t always hit if nightmare. Perhaps the most frus- make orders that School in the Catskill Mountains tiny workspaces com- off with the ladies, Dilbert al- tratingly stupid charter in the are completely ir- of New York. posed of a desk, a ways gives it th ol’’ college try. comic, The Boss doesn’t even rational and office Adams got his debut in cartoon- chair and a few He’s not exactly Banana Repub- manage to be witty or quick. supplies would not ing when Jack Cassady wrote to makeshift, car- lic cool, but his “At-Attention” Technically challenged and smug only be hoarded but him with encouraging responses. pet-covered tie has some major stud appeal— about it, his top priority is the also the most inter- However, Adams was not instantly walls. oh, and don’t forget those “high- bottom line and doesn’t mind esting topic of conversation around successful. He was rejected by sev- Since Dilbert is water” pants —too cool. sacrificing his employees for it. the water cooler. Wait, that is real eral magazines and newspapers, even undoubtedly the His title, Director of Project En- life. Playboy and The New Yorker. But most popular car- Dogbert hancements (DOPE), nicely Welcome to the engineer’s fa- he did not give up. toon engineer, his cu- Although he may be a dog, sums up his position in the com- vorite cartoon: Dilbert. Interesting- Adams himself was not even close bicle gets special Dogbert is certainly no man's pany. Did we mention he ma- ly, Dilbert has no mouth, or at least to being an accomplished cartoon treatment. Unique best friend. He is contemptible, jored in Art History. not an obvious one, so it is amazing artist until much later in life. Early devices abound in malicious, and cruel and he has that he is even able to talk, let alone on, at age 11, he took the Famous his workspace in- his sights set on world domina- Ratbert espouse upon the eccentricities sur- Artists Course for Talented Young cluding undercover devices such as tion. Dilbert uses him as a con- A simpleminded optimist, rounding the high-tech industry. People. a boss monitor that track The Boss’s stant source of advice and Ratbert cannot even obtain full Always politically correct, women He failed. Interestingly, most moods, activities and visitors. sequentially loses self confidence employment. He pines for af- are included in the cartoon as well. items on the test were multiple choice, He also lays claim to a talking points for his effort. Deep down, fection, love, peace and a little Characters such as Alice and Liz but somehow he still didn’t manage trash can, sun lights to simulate the however, Dogbert has a soft spot bit of respect. Unfortunately, he demonstrate the debilitating neu- to pass. Instead of offering him ad- effects of daylight and a drink tem- for the nerdy engineer and suc- is merely a temporary employee roses that technology related fields mission to the course, the school perature control device. cinctly sums up corporate Amer- with a cardboard box for an of- can invoke. ultimately denied him entrance be- Dilbert is not just confined to ica with his blasphemous fice. Dilbert is perhaps one of the most cause of his young age. newsprint every day. Cartoon books, observations and outbursts. popular cartoons around these days, Some people would character- business books and calendars all ca- Catbert possibly climbing over the ranks of ize Dilbert as a nerd. His obsession ter to every Dilbert lover. Wally Evil Director of Human Re- Garfield and Peanuts. Dilbert, illus- with technology is almost second to Over 40 titles exist, including Perhaps the most unproduc- sources, Catbert exalts in down- trated by Scott Adams and first pub- none; he loves technology more than It’s Obvious You Won’t Survive by tive coworker to ever exist, Wal- sizing his employees and lished in 1989, reaches millions of people. What he lacks in social skills, Your Wits to Slapped Together: The ly excels at being inefficient and subsequently blaming them for people through 2,000 newspapers he makes up for in surfing the inter- Dilbert Business Anthology. Some Dil- prides himself on his complete their demise. He is pure evil and in 61 countries. net. His style leaves something to bert books are just meant to amuse and utter lack of value. With no relishes the fact that he now has Ironically, Ad- be desired as well. readers; while others inform busi- life outside of the office, Wally is power. ams does not He dresses in short-sleeved white ness people in a lighthearted way. perpetually bitter at the world even have a de- shirts with a tie that turns up at the The Dilbert Principle: A Cubicle’s- and seeks to take this anger out Asok gree in engi- end. He tops off his outfit with “high- Eye View of Bosses, Meetings, Man- on anyone—directly or residu- Asok was introduced to satis- neering. He water” black pants, white socks and agement Fads and Other Work- ally. fy the abused and beraggled in- received much conservative black shoes. Not ex- place Afflictions offers terns in the world. Although of his experience actly Ricky Martin, eh? readers unique insights Alice incredibly through his Dilbert also owns a dog, Dog- to the corporate world Alice, the lone female engi- intelli- work in Crock- bert, who offers horrible and in- in a humorous neer in the comic, suffers from gent and er National Bank criminating advice while mocking manner. chronic overwork and stress, gross talented, in San Francisco Dilbert and his lifestyle. Although, the underappreciation and a poison- Asok is from 1979 to Although his intentions are in- world of Dilbert ous level of caffeine streaming unpre- 1986. sincere, he has a soft spot for Dil- offers a humorous through her system. A quick pared for After bert (although he would never admit if not distorted view temper and a cynical attitude the cruelties that, he worked it). Dogbert is against everyone, treat- of the engineer- make her single along with the of corporate at Pacific Bell ing them with disregard and dis- ing world, its ap- other losers in the office. America. until 1995 dain. plications are where he Dogbert spends his time plot- practical. 16 • Friday, September 28, 2001 • Technique FOCUS

under the Earth’s oceans. That’s a “chemical balance”)—how carbon Research from page 13 good thing since it takes this green- is converted from methane on land house gas out of the atmosphere to carbonates underwater as the car- water taste kinda funny. where it can’t contribute to global bon cycle, for example, or the nitro- Dr. Lizarralde’s research concen- warming. Lizarralde “[tries] to un- gen cycle. They also try to understand trates more on the formations in der the dynamics of methane gas- whether things like global worming the sand of the ocean floor and how hydrate reservoirs.” that result from these cycles have they move and evolve, “how chan- Tectonic plates or lithosphere— periods of millions or tens of mil- nel systems from the last glacial ep- big chunks of crust and cold mantle lions of years. The global ecosystem isode impact the freshwater budget that are the outer layer of the Earth, might actually be a lot more robust of the barrier islands today.” On about 80 kilometers (50 miles) than we might suspect. (That still the timescale of millions of years, thick—actually move around over doesn’t mean it’s OK to start drill- the Earth’s crust especially beneath the deeper hot mantle. Dr. Lizarral- ing apart Alaska.) the oceans is extremely active. And de also studies the odd things that And in studying all of these nifty all the glaciers that used to be ubiq- can happen in the turbulent regions geological processes, the research- uitous contributed greatly to the where new crust is formed. We can, ers get to travel the world. Dr. Liz- topology of the Earth. for example, see the composition of arralde, for example, regularly takes In the regions just off shore, an- the crust evolving under water geological cruises to the Caribbean, other peculiar thing happens. Meth- through a process known as hydro- all along the Atlantic, to the Gulf of ane (a gas up here) can be trapped in thermal circulation. The sites of this California, even the Red Sea or wher- the sand beneath the ocean floor. activity are where large masses of ever else there might be geological Because the pressure under kilome- important life-supporting elements activity. (All these places just hap- ters of water is so great, the methane are exchanged between the inside pen to be tropical Elysia.) actually exists as a crystalline solid of the Earth and the surface. So now geology seems a bit en- (called “gas-hydrate,” by the way) It’s actually a big interest to ge- ticing as a field of study, eh? Well, if By Ian Clark/ STUDENT PUBLICATIONS instead of as a gas. And there’s a ologists how elements recycle you really are interested, please con- Dr. Daniel Lizarralde examines topographical charts of the Barrier whole, whole lot of methane trapped through the Earth (the so-called tact [email protected]. Islands just off the coast of Georgia; he analyzes lithospheric structures. Technique

We’re getting better at filling space. FOCUS Technique • Friday, September 28, 2001 • 17 Tech Up Close Gimme! email: [email protected] Last week’s Tech Up Close: post office box

Last week’s winner: Jonathan Sullivan By Benjamin Small / STUDENT PUBLICATIONS

um “for both academic and recre- building meaningful friendships and tions, players experience both the Leaders stem from the basic princi- LAN from page 13 ational goals to exist side by side.” communities,” Verges said. virtual and the physical paradigms ple that people will come to an ac- He pointed out that while a stu- While the fear of complete se- of technology. Winners were reward- tivity that they enjoy. Through that dents turn to sharing MP3s and dent may be studying and IMing clusion from the world makes many ed with a Tupperware prize. activity, a support network will be Instant Messaging. This sharing of several people at the same time, it is students wary of virtual interaction, In fact, “many times, they would formed that will help students information brings people of com- unusual to see a student successful- some, such as Chris Verges, man- actually request the server be brought through a notoriously difficult first mon likes or interest together.” ly studying and talking on the phone. age to merge the two worlds into a down and they would talk while year. The ability to share information Instant messaging as well as email successful social experience. [Chris] changed the maps or game The activity, whether it is an ice within and between the dorms with enables “casual communication Last year, both Verges and settings,” Verges said. So while the cream social, a football game, or a the click of a mouse links students where it may not have occurred be- Meghan Byrne worked hard to throw evening may have begun as a meet- LAN party, is simply a means to a from across campus together, fresh- fore.” The obvious question becomes: a campus-wide “LAN party” for those ing of the “silent masses,” it devel- successful close-knit campus com- men and upperclassmen alike. Does a community become stron- who enjoy computer games. Al- oped into exactly what a party is—a munity. In an environment filled Although it may not have been ger by using online communica- though, they were initially met with bunch of people getting together, with such diversity, the programs the original intent, networking com- tion or does it in fact hinder some ridicule from fellow students, having fun and participating is an designed to reach out to the stu- puters has provided a new kind of face-to-face socialization? the overall response was positive. event that they all enjoy. dents of Georgia Tech must be equal- campus culture. Because high-tech “The bonds that are formed As Verges noted, ironically, “it is The Freshmen Activities Board ly diverse. virtual environments are so accessi- through LAN parties are not the ‘uncool’ to play on the computer— (FAB), an FE program, has had sim- The Freshmen Experience pro- ble, they naturally tend to alter the type of bonds on which true friend- yet not a Sony Playstation,” At LAN ilar success with these types of par- gram is one of the largest and most traditional ways of forming a com- ship can be built. The lack of per- parties, residents physically move ties, drawing over 30 freshmen to successful community and diversi- munity. Residents use the Local Area sonal contact, vocal and visual, gives their computers to a common des- its gaming event in Brittain Rec last ty oriented endeavors on campus Network (LAN) to share MP3s, no incentive to conduct oneself in a tination and set up a network be- year. and it continually strives to create DVDs and “Word.” Director Miles civil or understanding manner— tween them in order to play an All of programming ideas uti- an environment conducive to men- Edson describes ResNet as a medi- both of which are indispensable in interactive game. In these simula- lized by Freshmen Experience Peer tal and academic growth.