VOLUME 2 NO. 10 UNIVERSITY OF BRIDGEPORT APRIL 2,1981 25 CENTS
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have heard my heart foam up and expand the beat before. After run room. Suddenly there would ning very hard I have be no boundaries, except the heard it splatter against myheavy cotton quilt which chest. And it’s a good sound,would bring sleep over my ■and if, after I’d sprintedeyes. But now the quilt was there was no havoc there I’d rich black water, and there be worried. But now I was is no sleep, no light under not moving, yet a “so slow” the door, and no one laugh rhythm sounded in my ing downstairs. creamy black world, and sprinkles of reality cut the The whole black world smoothness. seemed to spill into my ears as I lay back with the water She closed the door, like a over my eyes. It’s all over pantry cabinet, and there me and in me. I seem to be was nothing, except me in held by nothing. There are my liquid world. The experi no words. It’s not air, but ence of that door, gently like laying in your own closed, brought swishing blood, heavy, rich, but with memories of a younger me no. smell. It’s a pleasant back. sensation, so very simple. My mother always used to close my door, and the LISASAHULKA creamy blackness would CO-MANAGING EDITOR UNIVERSITY AVENUE APRIL 2,1981
To the Editors: lam writing this letter after doesn't like pizza minus cheese, having a bout with Marina eggs, hard and cold, turkey runs. Don't worry about me Ichemical) fingers or crusty though, since coming to U.B. I quiche ? have taken stock in Kaopec- Supposing you decide to eat tate. one of these “favorite" While reading the school delicacies. I dare you to find a paper in m y usual stall, I was spoon, knife and fork and glass, glad to see Marina food is all in one search. worthy of a two page center Assuming the utensil hunt spread. It's great to know that was a success, it's time for our food is as disgusting as guess which table doesn't Yale's. It is cool to have wobble! diarrhea, as long as the Yalies After such a pleasant dining do. experience, I should bus my The food just might be tray? I would really like to wholesome, before Daka plays help, but Tve got to go to the undertaker and embalms it bathroom. Fast. with grease. Sincerely, You say that at least one of J. Flush my favorites appears on the P.S. Too bad every night “varied" menu each day; who isn't Sunday.
PAINTERS WANTED Small house close to campus Party Out of Bounds needs painting. 374-9451. ACCOUNTING MAJOR — Warner and Bodine Dorm Governments Income Tax Preparation. m . 374-9453 cordially invites all U.B. faculty and staff to a S.M.A.S.H. Barbeque and Party this CENTURY 21 — REAL ESTATE now interviewing — sales Friday, April 3,1981 at 3:00 p.m. in front of positions — excellent training. $20 weekly gasoline allowance. Warner Hall. Hamburgers, Hot Dogs and P/T or FfT 374-9451 Steamers will be served, BYOB. Tickets are SURPLUSJEEPS, $3.00 for faculty and staff for barbeque. CARS, TRUCKS Contact Jane Roseiqan, ORH, X4025 for car-ind. Value $2143 sold for $100. Call 602-941-8014 ext. ticket information. 7803. Many other bargains.
NICE STUFF ■A P FIRST GUEST ARTIST P IS HARTMAN DIRECTOR SEX CLINIC JAZZ SAX PLAYER Edwin Sherin, the new artistic director of WILL APPEAR HERE CLOSES SOON, the Hartman Theater Company in Stamford, who directed the Tony Award winning play ’TIL “The Great White Hope,” will be the first ! Jazz saxophonist Pepper Adams will ap Lucille Lortel Distinguished Guest Artist at SEPTEMBER pear in concert with the University of the University of Bridgeport, April 2, 3, and Bridgeport Jazz Ensemble Monday, April 6, 4. at 8 p.m. at Mertens Theater in the Arnold His lecture on “American Regional The The U.B. Sex Counseling Bernhard Arts and Humanities Center. ater, It’s Growth and Future” will be free Adams, a self-taught musician, has played and open to the public April 3 at 7 p.m., Clinic will be held each Thurs the baritone sax since 1947. He performed Recital Hall. His remarks will precede a per day evening during April. Any and recorded with Thad Jones, Mel Lewis, formance by the U.B. theater department of students interested should Donald Byrd, Dizzy Gillespie, Thelonious Feydeau’s “Hotel Paradiseo" at 8 p.m. Monk, Charles Mingus and others. A pioneer of the regional theater move make an appointment with He has been twice elected to the National ment, Sherin believes that excitement in the \ Mrs. Lane, R.N., any afternoon Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences theater must generate excitement in the from 1:00 p.m. - 4:00 p.m. The Board of Governors, New York Chapter. community. The Hartman is a “cultural cen Recordings of the U.B. Jazz Ensemble’s ter . . . (that) is important to the city and to last sex counseling clinic until new album will be sold at the door. Tickets extending the quality of life,” he explains. September 1981 will be on are $2 general, and $1 with U.B. I.D. For t U.B. student activities which will involve April 30,1981 at 8:00 p.m. ticket information, telephone the Bernhard Sherin include directing, acting and audi Center box office, 576-4399, weekdays 1 to 5 tioning seminars. For more information call p.m. the Bernhard Center box office, 576-4399, weekdays, from 1 to 5 p.m. APRIL 2,1981 UNIVERSITY AVENUE WHEN THERE IS NOTHING.
y eyes are closed very tight and a ever; take it from one who knows. Salt does obvious expertise in his field, and the super thousand feet run in my head. tend to slip past even closed eyes, and an puff basketball hoop he has nailed between Relaxing them stops the thunder. open mouth. Buf Grant doesn’t feel this is either side of his doorway. The black world runs into my ears. too important. “I was the first one in and everybody was There is no separation, it is my “We live our lives in our heads. So the at looking . .. I was a little bit apprehensive be world mixing with my mind. What do I wanttempt to is to cut out those stimulus inputs.” cause way back when there were just John see? What do I want to feel? The salt creeps M When Grant began the project seven years Lilly’s books, and you didn’t really know. As a and slips with a panging awareness into my ago, which led to the construction of the tank matter of fact I never heard Lilly speak, so I eyes. in the basement of North Hall, there were a didn’t know if he was permanently flipped I force my legs down. They are loose and lot of questions about what would happen if out by all this or if he was very confident. So I bounce effortlessly to the black surface that certain senses were turned off. He said that came out and everybody was watching me. is everywhere. Is there a surface? Nothing to initially the argument was that the subject of What was H like, they wanted to know. I was see, everything to create. From one wall to the experiment would fall asleep. This point trying to be very blase. You have a lot of salt another, I slide very slowly trying to feel out is contradicted by the seven-year study in on you, and you want to take a shower. So I the boundaries. Then come the thoughts. which no subject has ever fallen asleep. said, ‘Oh it was very interesting,’ trying to be Some come like heavy cream spilling over a Another aigument was that the subjects the commander of the ship, ‘very interesting. table. Others flash like sunlight cutting might go crazy. This also has been disproved. We’ll talk about it in a minute, but right now through an old grey garage window. It should be noted, however, the longest any I’m going to take a shower.’ ” I thought about the trees I used to climb. body has been in the tank is four hours. The The rest of the story finds Grant going into All good childhood memories. There are illu* prolonged effect of sensory deprivation has the shower, turning on the water... w ith all sions of kicking open doors — four doors. not been explored. There is also the stress his clothes rolled up under his arms. This And there’s blue carpet in each of the rooms. and non-stress argument which has been sensation, however, is absolutely temporary. It’s so good to be alone, in a world I con moderately supported, although most people Grant gave the example of being in an air- trol. I am please with the simplicity, the se like the experience. conditioned theatre and walking out into a curity. And then I hear her coming. The One of the effects that has been totally hot afternoon day. square door elevated above the blackness supported and can be quite pleasant is time But what about the effects in the tank? opens. The simplicity ends. But no, it distortion. According to Grant, this is the Lisa Foster, who is in the class which the ex couldn’t have been an hour, 10 minutes .. . I most consistent effect. “People come out periment is a part of, said that one person see, time is the first to go. The quilt gets feeling that it has not been an hour.” said he thought a lot about religion, and an pulled back, and I’m wet, not with creamy Besides time distortion, there can be other other said he felt like he was rolling down blackness, but salty water. Later the salt effects that are somewhat more subtle. One sand dunes. Grant said that he remembered turns white on my hands, and I scrap it off my story concerns Frank Rizzo, a reporter for the a particularly unusual cap pistol that he had nails. And now the salt is gone ... but the Journal Courier. After the experience, he got as a child. blackness will be remembered. dressed and whipped out of the basement so All these recollections are products of that What I’ve described is technically called a he could make his deadline. “place between being awake, and being Hypo Hydronic Environment, but Dr. Michael What was funny, according to the pho asleep. Where you are aware, but it’s kind of Grant says “thaf s just a 50$ word that a guy tographer with him, was that Rizzo never f°99y>” as Foster described it. made up to impress the hell out of people. takes off without saying where to meet him. There are cases when people didn’t quite It’s come to be known as Sensory Depriva Rizzo met him on the steps with a “Oh, I achieve this dream level though. Stanley tion.” meant to tell you” statement, which was a Thompson, also involved in the class doing The term refers to a four by eight tank filled product of an hour in the tank. this experiment, looked for some patch of with salt water. There is, however, more to it. Grant related a more obvious disorienta light, and eventually found it. Since then it According to Grant “What we’re really talking tion with a humorous story of his first experi has been patched up, but the point is not the about is an attempt to limit sensory input, ence in the tank. It is not hard to see Grant in light, but the attitude you go into the tank visual input, and tactile input.” the situation he described. He is a series of with. Preconceived notions of the tank are Smell and taste are not controlled, how contradictions which are highlighted by his detrimental to the experience. Beyond the state Sensory Deprivation can engender while the subject is in the tank, there are practical uses for it. Grant felt that it could be used to help a smoker become a non-smoker. By feeding negative smoking statements into the tank, a smoker, with nothing else to listen to, is likely to let the “We live our message sink in. Another use of the tank relates more di rectly to psychology. Grant got excited when lives in our he suggested that Sensory Deprivation be used as a prelude to psychotherapy. The idea heads. So is that people read a magazine in the waiting room, and then are supposed to go in and tell the attempt the therapist all his life’s problems. Grant suggested that if a patient was “say for an hour put in a Sensory Deprivation environ is to cut out ment prior to going into therapy, I feel very confident that he’d have a lot to say.” those One other use Grant mentioned was for sheer recreation. The very nature of the tank, where there is nothing, seems to be the per stimulus fect situation for rest. As Grant described it, Sensory Deprivation is like a house with two imputs windows open on either sider The wind blows and the thoughts come in one side and go out another. And that’s ok, that’s all part of the experiment’s effect. Currently, Foster and Thompson are look ing for subjects willing to experience the tank. If thaf s a bit tod close to home, how ever, Grant will have a free public lecture on April 9th at 11:00 a.m. and 1:00 p.m. in Jacob son 104. The lecture is open to anybody with senses. 4 UNIVERSITY AVENUE APRIL2,1981 t( — = Security Cruises In Style I New Cars And New Plans he familiar orange and nice-looking. Student Life, and James Neary, tee meets on a fairly regular dine and Bryant Hall are ex white patrol car crawled “The old car had over 96,000 director of public safety, at basis with Neary, primarily to pected to be installed by Sep painfully into retirement miles on it and it was really tended. discuss security reports filed by tember. According to Maurer last week, and was re shot," said Mark Maurer, driving Part of the meeting was re students. The date and time of they are being modeled after the placed by an attractive, enerforce behind the “Security Blitz” served especially for student each incident is checked booth across from the bank in getic youngster. meeting held last Tuesday. “ In questions to Neary. One of the against the security log in order the University Square area. “The main arm of our program ■Early in the week, I saw the the past, we told them, either a most often asked questions in to determine who was on duty. old car listing rather pathetically new engine or a new car.” volved the much-criticized shut Neary is then able to discuss the will continue to be the security forms,” said Maurer. “Security is to one side, the victim of a flat The car was purchased last tle bus and its questionable de alleged difficulty with the officer no longer the issue it was but tire. Its dusty headlights stared week, according to Maurer, and pendability. Neary explained or shuttle driver. A security em we’ll continue to check on it.” sightlessly and it was quite obvi driven right off the showroom that recently he formally in ployee is given two warnings be Maurer feels that with contin ously preparing to die. floor, so immediate was the structed security dispatchers to fore serious disciplinary action ued student input, the security Late Saturday night, I met the need. "Suddenly, funds became inform students that if a shuttle is taken. “ It’s kind of like getting problems will continue to im new patrol car parked next to available,” he said, “ I believe bus is not running, the foot a ticket,” explained Maurer. prove, making for a safer cam Carlson Hall. I was suspicious at they decided to reallocate in patrol, student auxiliary or the The next major goal of the first, she looked much like the order to purchase the car.” patrol car is available. “ No one committee is to obtain the pur pus. It is important to remember, type of car my dad might drive to The security meeting was should be told that no one can chase of a new shuttle bus. however, when we hear of these work and a bit too glamorous for held in order to inform students come for them," said Maurer. They plan to meet with the Par dramatic improvements, that it the sometimes rough life of a of new advances in security, as Progress has been made in ents Association to see about is easy to be lulled into a false UB patrol car. But the 1981 mid well as to reiterate the impor the issue of student auxiliary. possible fund raising. According sense of security (forgive the night blue Chevrolet is certain of tance of the security report The allocation for their salaries to Maurer, the Association is pun) and grow complacent. It is her choice of career and appears forms. It was attended by a num has recently been raised $5,000, very concerned with the security up to the student to remain to be well qualified. She is more ber of students, many of whom enabling more coverage. The problems on campus and are highly critical and keep a watch physically fit than the last car, had filed such reports and were security committee hopes to interested in lending some sort ful eye on those who are hope God rest his soul. Besides the interested in learning what had eventually see enough funds for of financial hand. fully keeping a watchful eye on newly painted white identifica happened to them. In addition, eight patrols daily. The promised information the rest of us. tion letters on the side are so Jacqueline Benamati, Dean of The student security commit booths to be located near Bo- li J In Wahlstrom — It Takes A Thief bags, etc. to a brief search by a formation booth, though, was BY DAMON NORKO exactly how much is being tost, strom that will bring in even library attendant, positioned at moved to its present location in as many of the disappearances more patrons. Other questions, the entrance. Notices informing the Student Activities building, A couple of months ago you go undiscovered until brought like where exactly to position people of this procedure are leaving no one at the entrance. the attendant, remain as well. could say that literally hundreds posted throughout the library. Other schools, like Harvard to light by somebody who needs of your tuition dollars were the particular item. Some “ It's really an ad hoc set-up right and. Yale, had already instituted now,” says Mrs. Hunt. disappearing through the doors The problem of library the search policy long before. specific examples of the kinds The reaction by most patrons of Wahlstrom Library, carried off material theft is not unique to On February 9, UB joined the of things that disappear: three- to the policy was “a little sticky” by morally deficient patrons. any library. Wahlstrom has club, opening up another entry quarters of the new World Book at first, but apparently was Books and periodicals, and even always had an electronic system on the library’s budget. The Encyclopedia, a $50 new book accepted in time. One library pages of periodicals, were for the books, in which a buzzer library is open 96 hours a week, on the artist Gaudi, and a $60 attendant, though, did complain constantly being ripped out is set off at the entrance if an un and a person is supposed to be Atlas of World History. (Note of a lack of cooperation: “ People and/or ripped off. To counter checked-out book is carried at the desk at all times, being that the library loses twice the seem to resent having their this, the library has instituted a off. Previously, the students at paid minimum wage. This value of these things: the items’ purses searched, saying it was new policy whereby all outgoing the Campus Information booth means over $300 is being spent original value plus the cost patrons are required to submit located in the front lobby would per week just watching the required to replace them.) Loose their private property and we their books, briefcases, hand listen for this buzzer, providing a entrance. periodicals, the magazines that have no right, etc.” While having measure of security. The In It is impossible to determine are not yet bound into yearly the right to search your editions, are particularly property, the library does not susceptible to theft, because have the right to search your they are not part of the elec person, however. tronic system and can easily be Has the procedure been work slipped into a notebook or ing? folder. “ At the end of the year There have been a few cases when we gather all the issues of of the attendants’ finding GRADUATE NURSES the magazines for binding, we something. Unfortunately, the sometimes don’t find enough to library lacks any power (“What even send to the publisher," are you going to do?” asks HtNE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT says Judith Hunt, the University Mrs. Hunt) to do much more librarian. Disappearances like than ask the person to please these prompted her to sponsor check out his library materials. MERMONT? the policy. This does mean that they have “ It is definitely better than prevented some things from Consider a Staff Nurse position with this 500-bed teaching hospital having to pay the cost of disappearing, and that at least is replacing the books — if you a start. and major regional referral center for Northern New England; can replace them,” she explains, Other problems can occur as affiliated with University of Vermont College of Medicine and “ Some books are out of print by well: “ A man once had a torn-out Schools of Nursing. Grow in this progressive environment with the the time we find them missing copy of an encyclopedia. It support of excellent orientation and in-service programs... and re-order them. Then there is could have been that way the cost in student frustration, months ago, before he even Earn a competitive salary plus differential pay for weekends and as well. We have received opened the book. We have no numerous complaints from stu way of knowing,” recalls shifts. Partake in an excellent benefits package that includes a Tuition Assistance Program... It is definitely better than having to pay Live in or near Burlington, Vermont; a university city of 50,000 the cost of replacing the books — where educational and cultural activities abound. Our location on if you can replace them. ” Lake Champlain, in Green Mountain ski country, provides year-round recreational opportunities! Judith Hunt Interviews for senior Nursing students will be held February dents who can’t find the book another student attendant. they need, or find the page they It is apparent that library theft through April. Call us to schedule a visit...or contact us for more want is tom out.” will continue as long as the information. The library attendants them library itself. It is good that the selves are made up of UB stu administration can take some dents in the morning and after measures to curb this. Un AfEDIGIL CENTER HOSPITAL noon, and the regular library se fortunately, this costs more curity officer in the evenings. money, and in the face of Hiring students has created a already increasing tujjjon costs. OF NERMONT small problem because of the Adding the cost of the proximity of final exams — the material that gets away (despite students can’t work as much. Personnel Department security measures) to the actual Some gaps in the day have re cost of the attendants, produces sulted from this. Burlington, Vermont 05401 quite an imposing figure that is (802) 656-2825 The question of hiring more wasted due to the thievery. It is expensive full-time personnel too bad that, with our external An equal opportunity employer looms for next year, coupled security so badly wanting, we with an increased responsibility have to spend money com resulting from the Law Library’s batting internal problems as probable move to the Wahl- well. 5 5 0 th y e a r o f Scribe publication The Number One College Newspaper in the Northeast
University of Bridgeport 52:12 April 2,1981 25 cen ts
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PRESENT CLOWN TIME Spring week activities, it was announced today, will begin with a September 18: War was declared by the New Administration on march on University Avenue (not to be confused with the campus University Avenue which is officially recognized on the University paper) led by the key figures in the New Administration. Those fig Globe. Battle plans were being drawn up in the headquarters of the ures, Warren Stupor, Jokie Mussolini and popular henchman Pin New Administration. t'Tl'TTTlTtfrTT'rTfmT'iTT''T''ff ALL 0. Keo, will lead the march, tentatively titled BROWNSHIRTS ON September 25: UA Advisor Herb Feller and editor Cliff Coady PARADE, to celebrate recent victories over University Avenue (not were secretly rushed to the library to meet with the New Admin NEW to be confused with the street). istration’s key military officials in an effort to discuss a solution to 111th These victories, which featured such guerrilla war tactics that this conflict. Warren Stupor, in a fine Perry Mason inspired per YEAR SI would even make Ghangis Khan shudder, mark impressive gains formance, took control of the strategic conference. Mussolini spoke on the part of the New Administration after months of tense strug occasionally and Pin 0. Keo talked mostly when no one was listen-jj gles, where it often seemed like no one could gain control of the ing. “Why for do you do these things to us?” Stupor asked. “Just paper. Listed below in chronological order are the important dates kidding,” the editor said, searching vainly for laughs. in this yet to be resolved war. (NOTE: The New Administration re October 1: The group met again, this time with a treaty written fers to this as a mere police action.) up to put a temporary halt to the war for negotiations. The treaty, September: first week. When the editors arrived from their sum a rather imposing document, (stories must be phoned individually mer vacations, they felt some changes were needed in the Scribe. to the entire student body to meet their approval before publica “Like, let’s get rid of it,” said one editor. “Fm tired of people tion was one such statement) was forced under the eyes of Coady ; calling us the Scribble. Why don’t we make up a new name? Most by Mussolini who had a “sign this or die” look on her face. “Sign people hated the Scribe anyway. We can give them a chance to this and the paper can continue to publish under these guidelines,” hate us again.” she said. “What if I don’t?” he asked. “You and the entire editorial Everyone agreed. Establishing another name, however, was an- staff will be fired and remain forever unemployed, we’U see to I other problem. After much deliberation (and kegs of Heineken), that,” Mussolini said. University Avenue was decided upon. “It would be hard to change The document was subsequently signed. n n i i i l T T V —'HT\^TNJt 1 that into a cutdown phrase,” said one editor, “and besides it takes i more room on the resume.”
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university of bridgeport 6 The Scribe April 2,1981
2 ■o o [ o J Dear Editor, statement, “The sky to myself, to all U.B. Ui I write this letter is blue The sky is students, and to the in response to your not blue. The sky is sky.
U)u u)3 n ■C -J X:-:?* j,’ lip ( n ‘X-**/* FLUFF 1 -i & I W ant It ever, do not expect or •h want to marry him, don’t know whether he is mar- Being that Spring is in ried or not and don’t care. the air; the trees are bud- I am not asleep or drunk <. * ■ Ip ding, the birds are singing and am entering into the V/-!'3 ■and the bees are hum- relation with him because a ming, we at the University I love it and want it just * X,\ . • ph-l Avenue provide this pub- as much as he does, and if lie service. I receive the satisfaction I .. Thank you, expect, I am willing to Clown time The Management play an early return en- I B 11 1 1 gagement. Instrument of Surrender Furthermore, I agree MM never ends M 0 i l This certifies that I, the never to appear as a wit- | undersigned, a female ness against him or to continued from page 5 - -'v| about to enjoy sexual prosecute him under the November 15: This was the scene of one of the more devastating battles, intercourse with Mann White Slave Act. three hours of verbal bloodshed that left both parties exhausted. Jokie Mussolini and Pin 0. Keo were particularly impressive at times; when he , am Signed, before going to Ik *<* | talked one could barely see her lips move. Excerpts from the dialogue above the age of consent. bed, this day of exchanges summed up where the negotiations were at their most troubling. “We are not looking to dictate the format of the paper,” Musso am in my right mind and ,19 T lini said between cartons of cigarettes. “We just want to dictate the 1111 11111 not under the influence of agenda.” “What is an agenda?” asked one puzzled editor. “Well, it’s some thing like the format of the paper,” Mussolini muttered. There was no any drug or narcotic. By clear victor in the battle as both sides decided to draw up their own set of Neither does he have to guidelines and negotiate before Christmas. “What if we don’t agree with your set of guidelines and you don’t agree with ours, who will decide use any force, threat or Address eventually?” asked one editor. “Well, I guess the New Administration will * ., promise to influence me. I decide,” Mussolini said. “But 1 want to make one thing clear, though, we still want to be your friends, OK?” am in no fear of him what- Witness November 20: In an effort to cut the New Administration out of the negotiations, the editors of UA drew up a four-point proposal for the Uni versity Senate. The procedure here is to bring the proposal to Student 1181# Council so they can represent the campus newspaper. The proposal was, ■ , f ' ''W &-&:*'•(+' K V ' - ' ' , • AMS ’ ■ . however, met with mixed feelings by Council President Calvin Sluether. “I don’t want to make waves,” Sluether said. “Anyway, Til be too busy shav ing.” New List Issued December 21: While everyone else was packing for Christmas vacation, named outstanding young piece of wood in 1974, was sent to the Univer LISA SAHULKA | another battle ensued between the New Administration and the editors. sity Avenue office late that evening to read bedtime stories to the editors. CO-MANAGING EDITOR This time, however, the New Administration, perhaps still intimidated by Or so they were told. But as the impish collection of oak began to read, it the previous meeting, had the home field advantage in Mussolini's office. became obvious that he was delivering a speech full of mindless propa Drinking is in. Not d rinking is out. Mussolini’s nicotine addiction and the poor ventilation proved an effective ganda in an effort to make the editors sympathetic to the New Admin Beer is in. A nything else is out. ploy as Mordici Jaffee, famous Hebrew sports editor, caught cancer and istration’s cause. The book he was reading from, “How To Stick It To Thursday. Friday and Sunday. Monday. had to leave. The meeting went on at a dangerous clip with both sides Your College Paper: Ten Ways To Gain Total Control” revealed that Pin Saturday and Tuesday, and trading blows. The end eventually had to come, so Mussolini, barely vis 0. Keo was actually sent there on a mission from his ringleaders. His occasionally Wednesdays are out. ible through the smoke, gave the editors a choice, either “let a publication Occasionally, Sunday. cover blown, the whittled wimp began whining about the somewhat Oscar Monday, and Tuesday , board dictate the agenda or let me dictate the agenda.” “Well, we don’t Madison-like condition of the office. “I’m telling on you guys,” he said on and Wednesday are in too. want either of you to dictate anything,” the editors, those still able to the way back to the gustapo. Jack Daniels is in. Any thing else except breathe, screamed. “Well, you must choose one of the above,” Mussolini March 10: Herb Feller, who was warding off angry Iranians when Pin beer is out. replied, “or else we will fire all of you and make sure you remain forever 0. Keo was collecting hockey pucks, resigned his position as advisor to The Kingsman. and (iazebo is out. unemployed.” “Can we have a little time?" the editors asked. “Sure,” University Avenue. Commented the war-weary Feller, “Detroit is lovely B arnabies a re in. Mussolini said, “you can have until Christmas.” “But we're going home to this time of year.” Three years as advisor to the campus newspaper had morrow,” the editors replied. “The dorms are closing, we have no place to clearly taken their toll. Sleeping all day (iettin g up on Saturday is in. except to go drink stay.” “If you really care about the paper,” she said, “you won't go home March 12: Efforts to reunite the once popular Bleep City Rockers for a some more is out. | for Christmas. You’d stay in Bridgeport until you came to a decision.” benefit concert to help support the war-torn University Avenue fell apart W ine.is in. Any thing else is out. “We can’t stay in Bridgeport. We have no place to stay,” they said. “How when the two founding members of the New Britain based punk band | much time can we have tonight?” “Two minutes,” Mussolini replied. were taken hostage by right-wing extremists in the Reagan Administra Mixers a re in. L ectures are out. Figuring a group of people from different segments of the University tion. “Subversives must be dealt with,” a White House aide said. Dorm p arties a re in. ('lasses a re out. I would be safer than having one person decide the fatikof the paper, the February 16: In what is now haplessly referred to as the “Raid on UA,” editors decided on the publication board. When aske^fftr comments at the two University security officers stormed the second floor of the Student Floor parties a re in. Cinema movies are out. proceedings, George Derelict, news editor, sai « 3 3 . ■“ S' 3 £ 2 -SB ■ £ £ f S. I ~ *3 ** e J2 .S ® - & 5 3 - 5 12 1-S g © t- s i 's >% *5 4 II-“ g © © .5 .5 © ■75 Sff 8 ■ fr”® a- »Oi S cn i i f i i s a ' & & U 9 >oo t. . Sa °aj >* s &jb « i f * 53 *-* 03 “J s Jm 4# w S i M> © y .e ■§ & £ 8 E .2® •5 i « !> J3o J5 o J5 © l l E ^ s t i i *** Jm © & -3 15 "3 ■** * w o &p e l s ' i £ e £ £ © 3 5 i i i s > © © © S z a 3 .9 § & s rA ft* c © S I Jg i S. « Mm ® c bfiZ jj E E E S i i l l - si +* s ■ i i S i . 2 tS -3 i 2 2 3 - i - c £ ; ;£££• © 3 -2 ® £ f l r . l ” I | S T j | l _ I I I 5 « .5 * S a s. e Qi £ ■© « 1 a I a points. The Bleeps Who Fell to Earth field - THE HOME OF THE PURPLE KNIGHTS - began to chant BLEEP recordings. Bridgeport security and police STANTON MARLIN made a shallow appearance at the Bleeps Travel editor huge gathering, but kept their dis tance, afraid of what might hap BLEEP! BLEEP. BLEEP. pen. President Miles, who ap peared at the event (as he was on his way from Waldemere to the Here they are, the one and only Rec Center) felt that this was a BLEEPS. The Bleep City BOD gimmick and said, “It’s about Rockers, making their world time the students had some de renowned tour, have come to cent entertainment.” Bridgeport’s illustrious Seaside Bridgeport officials summoned Park. the National Guard, and called for The BLEEP CITY ROCKERS, a State emergency — the Bleeps whose infamous hit single “Bleep “Is there life?Is there life?" have landed — creating chaos on Bleep Yeh!” has taken them to the UB campus. some spacious galaxies through The Bleeps, realizing that then- out the United States. Europe, Bleep City Rockers Inc. brief stay on moontop Seaside and the Planets, were enroute to was about to cause an uprising, the moon only to be side-swiped ing directly on the soccer field’s hit. “IS SHE REALLY GOING began singing, “HIT ME WITH by a meteor which hindered their own mountain, which at times has OUT WITH BLEEP’ just sky YOUR BEST BLEEP,” as they progress. BLINKY BLEEP, lead been mistaken for the moon. rocketed across the New England drifted above the Park, nowhere vocalist and bass guitar bleep, Long Island residents as well as area charts. to be seen. was piloting the Bleep machine, the University of Bridgeport stu Bridgeport town officials were Although they had vanished, only to be done in by my dents were quoted as saying they totally appalled at the appearance their voices could still be heard as quaaludes. Once again this forced “are shocked” and are gaily await of this star-studded phenomena. they ended their Bridgeport open the group to make a sudden stop ing the opening appearance of the But the record crowds circling the ing with. “WE’VE ONLY JUST over the Long Island Sound, land newly-formed group, whose latest surrounding areas of the soccer BEGUN.” 8 The Scribe April 2,1981 U.B. to get defense bunkers nuclear capability eland Miles announced disruptive project. Said one derneath the library, we're bage dump as a runway. He felt it was “immoral” and even yesterday at a special Phys. Ed. major, “What if I have gonna feel it." explained that the school had “disgusting," noting that meeting with student to get to class after a nuclear Phase two of “Operation U.B.” already found a bomber capable weapons of mass destruction had representatives plans attack and the building my class as it was cleverly called by Vice of doing the job, an old B-36 on little, if anything, to do with for what he termed is in is still underground? What President of Relations John Cox, display in Illinois. “The B-36 is higher education. Some said “a plan to make the Universitydo I doof then?” Another student involves retaliatory deterence perfect,” claimed Dubois. “This they thought it was not only BridgeportE safe from nuclear complained of the possibilities of dangerous, but might provoke an instead of protection, as in phase one was retired in 1956 and it'll attack.” He said that not only ecological damage to Seaside one. “No one has ever been take some going over, but it’s the arms race with the other will the ambitious safety plan Park, despite claims by Miles attacked for being too strong,” best buy on an intercontinental universities who would copy make Bridgeport more attractive that no one on the surface will said Colonel Dubois, R.O.T.C. bomber we could find.” Dubois U.B.’s plan. “ Who knows,” said to prospective students, easing even know what's going on director at Bridgeport. Col. closed by adding, “ If the one U.B. history student, “if we the University’s financial during construction, aside from Dubois went on to outline the Russians try ’n take this campus get one, then Yale and N.Y.U. problems, but will also be in line the 100 foot wide main entry plan for phase two, which in off the map, you can be sure that will get one, and then we'll have with Ronald Reagan’s new tunnel (M.E.T.) located in front volves having a single Leningrad U. won’t be around to get more and before you know foreign policy, showing of Warner Hall. Other students operational long range bomber too much longer either.” it, it'll be like a goddamn Washington that “we at U.B. weren’t so sure. Complained one, hidden underground in a . . The whole concept of having a academic cold war around here.” also know how to play hardball “I’m an engineering major, and I reinforced hangar, using the nuclear-armed bomber at U.B. Miles was not even sure where with the Ruskies.” happen to know that if they go blacktop reserved for the once-a- was sharply criticized by many the school would obtain a The plan, as Miles outlined it, blasting rock out from un year carnival next to the gar students as well as faculty who nuclear bomb for the plan to consists of two phases, phase one carry, but commented, “I think and phase two. Phase one in the physics department could volves constructing huge un cO) PHASE ONE come up with something.” derground silos beneath all Many students were in awe buildings owned by the BERNHARD CENTER - over the reported two billion University. In the event of a ABOVE GROUND-NORMAL dollar price tag Of the project, possible nuclear attack, the and were openly skeptical of the buildings would be lowered ability of the University to pay it underground on gigantic without driving up tuition rates. hydraulic lifts and covered by Miles repeated several times that immense concrete doors, some the source of the funds was being two football fields long “ultra-top secret,” but hinted and ten feet thick, shielding the that the six new members on the buildings from nothing less than board of trustees worked in a a direct ten megaton blast. When “big building with five sides.” asked about the cost of the Other student complaints were project. Miles replied, “I don’t directed at the possibility of a think that the cost is really student draft that Miles said might important, considering the ben be necessary to run the multi efits. I don't think that there million dollar complex once it is is any question that U.B. is a “As*I now see it,” said Miles, potential target in an all-out “different majors will be con nuclear war, considering the scripted for various fields of duty. damage to society that would be For instance, law students would done if the outward flow of become officers, cinema majors Bridgeport graduates was would become bomber pilots, and stopped.” When pressed further fashion merchandising majors about cost figures, he answered, would become U.S.O. style en “One or two billion, but worth tertainers.” every penny.” ACCESS AND CONSTRUCTION TUNNEL It remains to be seen if The fantastic project was not Operation U.B. will have the greeted warmly by many adverse effects that are feared students, who found it very hard We at U.B. also know how to play hardball with the when construction begins this May. to believe the school would It may well be, as Miles puts it,, attempt such a large and R uskiesL eland Miles “the first step on the road to recovery.” then pairs up with a Nuclear I don’t wanna give away the cult following with his earlier Physicist (Richard Basehart) and ending cause that would ruin FILMS IN REVIEW the two of them amscray to films (among them Fort Knox is everything but there’s this one Missing and Time For a Shoe), Mexico, where they open up a scene where this lady who looks BY JULIEN WHEATLEY delicatessen. But as fate would surpasses all expectations and like an elephant shoots fire out reveals to us a certain artistic Say the words “ low-budget output and a director’s particular have it, the local hombres get of her trunk. But it isn’t really a sensibility; a nice blend of wry, horror film” aloud and what oeuvre. uppity. “ Cheech” Marin (of trunk, it looks more like a snout. comes to mind? Usually: stupid Mud Wrestlers From Outer "Cheech and Chong” fame) deadpan humor and ubiquitous Then there’s this part where nocturnament. Speaking of that, plots, poor acting, ocky-looking Space Meet the Mexican Mole- portrays an irate motel clerk who Victor Mature is standing in sets, huh? But every so often a Women is such a film. This doesn’t take to the zany antics the scenario was written by front of this rescue helicopter University of Bridgeport’s own daring new film is released from Roger Corman production of Connors and Basehart. In and then like suddenly he gets stead, he guns them down in a Mark P. Krasselt; himself an avid within that genre, one which features the lovely and talented shot from behind with a raygun challenges and expounds upon Mike Connors (TV’s “ Mannix”) frenzied rage. But the strong- follower of The Way. Always the and all his guts fall out. It’s really erstwhile publicity hound, the inherent traditions and as a Madison Avenue willed Connors survives this gross. Then this building, it boundaries while still main businessman who gets caught brouhaha and tells his wife Krasselt will be appearing at (Rosemary C. Clooney) all about looks like it’s gonna fall but Marina Dining Hall all next week taining a symbiotic-balance up in a sticky web of crime, really it doesn’t. I don’t know, I between the median-craft- intrigue and murder. Connors it. The two of ’em go out for ice to autograph any napkin that can’t really explain it. It's just so might wander this way. Con cream. Suddenly this big space weird. be ship smashes into a Marlboro sider yourself lucky and go see be s But anyway, Mud Wrestlers s c sign and all these weird-looking Mud Wrestlers From Out Space *C From Out Space Meet the tx c crawly things come out and at Meet the Mexican Mole-Women. C/3 Mexican Mole-Women is a true tack everybody. Charles Grodin It’s a gem! .00 V* cinematic achievement in its makes a guest appearance as Ta! Ta! own right. Director Ted Murbly, e ■s 3 E s. nobody in particular. — Julien Wheatley s & who had developed a kind of I o •9 0> bfi *3 1 1 * Ji * be — 3 c a ^5 9 12 ■o . C >» v >. 0> * 4> '5. £ c cz> § * ce qj be -C C 3 *3 s i i 1 M as ; a * i t 3 « i "3 I •£ a ’ © -a 3 ^ o I J • hi m o S. o c J5 * sc »!2 » U6 b Hi 3 E n. o '3 C 8 | . a 50 © “ £.'3 .5 “ i JQHHH op i S3 Op ■r - a $ . s ! c 3 « 9 *5 < U Q- N a. 03 Pictured here are three promises to be your best choice aa I I IT “a I guest star Charles Grodin and s 3 I reasons why MUD WRESTLERS for ^ sure-fire movie en 2 I 1 a screenwriter Mark Krasselt, 2 as FROM OUTER SPACE MEET tertainment. From left to right: noted UB Cinema student. THE MEXICAN MOLE-WOMEN Cheech Marin as an angry valet, APRIL 2,1981 UNIVERSITY AVENUE 9 Grand Hotel Paradiso BY ROBERT BERKLEY tween the actors that creates a Hotel Paradiso focuses on responsibility to adhere back to suppression of it. That is why in LIVELY ARTS EDITOR unity among the characters, and moral characters whose stem them. They are loyal to those Despite the usual theatre Act 3, the morning after the works on the unity of the play. addiction to their morality leads values that suppress them and matinee conditions last rendezvous, the characters What appears to be the them to defy it. Lusty women lead them to their genuine return to the house, and with Saturday, the theatre depart lightness and triviality that one and impotent men; dissatisfied, unhappiness. them return the horrifying ment’s production company associates with bedroom farce, or not yet satisfied, with each Boniface is the first character necessity to deny what they was able to produce a fine is the basis for a particular brand other, suddenly allow their to consider abandoning is usual attempted, and quickly assume performance of their latest of middle-class relationship. supressed passions to take an bed. His very considering so production of Hotel Paradiso by the roles they left behind the And what appears to be upper hand over their good anonymously incites the other night before. Georges Feydeau and Maurice mayhem and disorder, is really sense. But when they do dare to characters to follow, like a Desvallieres. The performance is There are three main an impeccable structure, with a momentarily step out of their contagious epidemic that lasts relationships under scrutiny; as entertaining as the material. carefully groomed realization of middle class mores, they cannot the length of the play. When Boniface and his wife, M. Cot And there is a cohesion be the basic themes of the play. escape their middle class Boniface gets sick a the hotel, in and his wife, and Cot’s nephew his room with Mme. Cot, he is and Boniface’s maid. The three damaged that his wife is not men are in different stages of around when he's sick. The suppression. Boniface, the perplexing thing about a plea oldest man, is already settled like this is that it allows for an into his position, M. Cot is the underlying love for his wife, and young businessman who is set his loneliness without her. But it tling into the same position, and seems more apparent to me Cot’s nephew is the student however, that he is declaring his who is not yet held by the posi helplessness without her, so tion that Cot and Boniface are ir that he can’t even take care of revocably trapped in. Although himself, and has indirectly left the nephew is fast adopting the him unable to make love to guilt and rigidness of his future Mme. Cot. It is out of the fear of lifestyle, he is the only one of making love to Mme. Cot that he the three men to succeed in his gets sick in the first place, and it purpose for going to the hotel. is his sickness that he He is also separated from the associates with his wife that other men by the fact that he is renders him impotent with Mme. the only one unmarried. The Cot. The play is filled with family structure, and its hin relationships with conditions, drances prevents the other two that usually end in mutual from the bedroom success that impotence, and dissatisfaction. the nephew has. Like the components of a love Director Langdon Brown and triangle, the play is in three acts. company capture the Paris of We could say that Act 1, in the Can-Can and Montmartre Boniface's house, is where the employing, in addition to an as characters discover their stilted sortment of beautifully intricate and unhappy existence, and and realistic sets and costumes, decide to take action against it. a high-keyed hyperbollic com Act 2 takes place in the hotel, edy style that is reminiscent of where the passions attempt to some of the silent film com What a hotel! Mary-ann Buono (right) is the manager and Bill Fleet is the bellhop greeting a “high class” go unleashed. While the hotel edies of the early 1910’s, that customer, Rebecca McCauley In “Hotel Paradiso” which opens tonight in Mertens Theater. Free with embodies wild passion, promotes the sheer enjoyment UBID) (Photo by Elaine Osowski) Boniface’s house embodies the of the period. Standing For The Academy Awards BY ROBERT BERKLEY The nominees were named. Given a proper rousing intro The call of Roman Polanski's duction, anyone can receive a name warranted some snickers standing ovation. At Tuesday from the audience, because of night’s 53rd Academy Awards the conspicuousness of his ab presentation, I lost track of the sence. Robert Redford won, and usually abundant ovations after accepted his award. three and the failure of one. Then as a perfectly existential The audience stood for Luci- figure; self raptured and ignor otta Pavarotti, the opera singer, ant of a world without, Redford after singing something. They paraded off the stage with his stood again for Henry Fonda, Oscar, leaving the two old men when he came to accept his life to squander for themselves be time achievement award, and for hind him. They needed a pretty Lillian Gibbs when she pre girl to escort them off stage; a sented the award for Best Pic young pair of tits walking off this ture. But the presentation of the old pair of directors. Here is award for Best Director couldn’t Redford giving a thank-you summon a rise from the audi speech about how grateful he is ence. The award was presented, to those directors who taught aptly enough, by the two oldest him everything he knows, where working directors in Hollywood, the people who taught them are George Cukor and King Vidor. A four feet behind him. couple of people stood up when The words “ Gone With The Cukor and Vidor walked out, Wind” * have apparently been everyone applauded, and those adopted as the epitaph for Old few people sat down. And that Hollywood. Yes, the studios are was the extent of their ovation. dead, and many of Hollywood’s Their place in .Hollywood is cer new whippersnapper heirs don’t tainly as important as Pavarotti's even know who their grandpar is unimportant. How a singer ents are. can receive a standing ovation *Gone With The Wind was produced by over a Hollywood director is David O. Selznick Studios, both for completely beyond my sense of whome King Vidor and George Cukor priority, especially at a Holly worked — Cukor directed part of wood function. 6WTW. UNIVERSITY AVENUE APRIL 2,1981 THE BEST AVENUES of UB Student talent will be DAILY competing for cash prizes of TODAY $200 for 1st, $100 2nd, $50 3rd MASS will be celebrated at noon in Newman in the Chapel. UB ALL STUDENT TALENT SHOW SHARED PRAYER will take place at 5 p.m. in Wed., April 8 at 8:00 p.m. in the the Newman ChapeL Mertens Theater CHEECH AND CHONG’S NEXT MOVIE will be ADMISSION FREE shown at 3, 8, and 10:30 p.m. in the Student Center Social Room. Come and show your support! SATURDAY MASS will be celebrated at 4:30 p.m. in the Newman Chapel. SUNDAY MASS will be celebrated at 11 a.m. and 9 p.m. in the Newman Chapel. ANNOUNCING CHEECH AND CHONG’S NEXT MOVIE will be shown at 8 p.m. in the Student Center Social Room. MONDAY THE END Of MASS will be celebrated at noon in the Newman Chapel. SHARED PRAYER will take place at 5 p.m. SKYWAY ROBBERY. in the Newman Chapel. BOD will meet at 9 p.m. in the Student Center, Rm. 207-209. TUESDAY MASS will be celebrated at noon in the Newman Chapel. Our Their Our flight Their flight SHARED PRAYER will take place at 5 p.m. comfy pillows. comfy pillows. attendant's smile. attendant's smile. in the Newman Chapel. from WINE AND WORDS will take place at 8:30 p.m. in Georgetown Hall. WEDNESDAY I E * ' $499 $950 round trip. round trip. MASS will be celebrated at noon in the ly L ff la a r (unrestricted) (unrestricted) Newman Chapel. Our Their Our Their SHARED PRAYER will take place at 5 p.m. magnificent view. magnificent view. incredible price. incredible price. in the Newman Chapel. D irett to Amsterdam. No restrictions. We’ll get you to Europe just like the other Plus, starting May 29, well offer 747 airlines. But at a price that isn’t considered service. MODELS WANTED grand theft. Ask about our 10% discount to holders A chance to make money, no experience necessary. Arid on our scheduled service flights of the International Student I.D. Card. we have absolutely no restrictions. No For reservations, call (800) 227-2888 6r advance purchase. No minimum stay. your travel agent. And help put an end to No penalties. skyway robbery. P Transamerica Airlines Freelance photographer seeks female models for glamour and pin-up photos. Send name, address and phone number to Ad Manager care of I University Avenue. 1 1 E K L Y Inner-Wall Diversions BY W.F.X.F. JR. ATTENTION Crabs one of the top teams in this tough division. Co-Ed Volleyball NEXT YEARS Today is your last day to sign up for co-ed The hell with Next Year, what about showing up volleyball. So hurry down to the Rec Center and this year? Dave Mariani’s team has had some sign up before 10:30 pm tonight. Remember this problems making it to games this year and if they year it is strictly co-ed. During play each team don't forfeit out of the league they should do O.K. must have an even split of males to females. Besides the fact that Skip McGovern, Pete Rosters are limited to 15 people and the entry fee McGunness, and Mariani are the only ones on the is $10.00. team that have played hockey prior to this year FLOOR HOCKEY and Jerry McEnery, a very big man with very little PREVIEW (cont.) hockey sense, is guarding the goal. Next Year’s Western Division always seems able to come up with enough Misanthropes victories to get in the play-offs. The name’s the same but the team has MASHERS changed. Well not totally, there are some names This team is led by David Bono and Joel Roy recognizable from Misanthropes rosters of the and consists mainly of men from Cooper. Don’t let past. But gone is Joey Marino who had been a the name fool you these guys are not out there main stay on the Misanthropes since its inception, smashing poor souls into oblivion. The name Joe was stolen away or acquired, depending on derives from the media. The whole team dresses your viewpoint, by Dave Bono of the Mashers. up in doctors’ outfits like the ones you see on Although there are some who say, not I, but some, M.A.S.H. Therefore the name M.A.S.H.-er’s. who say that the Misanthropes let Marino go Speaking of doctors, one of the key Mashers is on knowing that with him on the Mashers they would the Injury Reserve List, Jim Costa is sidelined with have a much better chance of winning the a very serious disease known as Boogie Fever. S u re S h o ts Western division. The Misanthropes are led this Ever since the Dance Marathon Jimmy can’t seem season by Joel Rosen and first year man Andrew to stop dancing. Costa kept the secret under Strobel. Joel and Andy both are hoping that wraps for awhile. But then one day at a team Comer second year man Steven Brown and John Stanici practice he was seen dancing with the goalie. But along with themselves can keep the Misanthropes not to fear, the fever is fading fast and Jim is BY HOLLYWOOD HURDLE above water. expected back in a few weeks. Bono and Roy JOHNNY’S QUEST seem to have put together a good squad. In goat is Last year’s hockey season saw the Totenham Mike Chanin and in front of Chanin is Doug Hot Spurs and the Ballbusters battling it out in the Farrington and John Fernstrom. Other than Bono BY CARLTON HURDLE fine gentlemen. They with championships. The big talk then was that these and Roy on offense you’ll find Dominic Monaco, the help of coach Webster, two perennial rivals were seeing their last hockey Mark Coelho, and Tim Sullivan. Then there is Joe Joe Keller has treated me allowed me to overcome the season and this was to be the last chance for both Marino who plays defense extremely well, too bad like a star ever since I got disenchantment of sports at clubs to wear the hockey crown. Well, Totenham he is on offense. COOPER FOUR HELLIONS here (U.B.). If everyone at this U.B. Maybe I am pouring it on won that game and it seemed that an era in floor Yes, another team from Cooper. I’ll tell you if an illustrious University treated hockey had come to a close. Since only three or thick, but these two guys will four players would return for the Next Year, both award was given for dorm participation, Cooper me like he did, I would have a probably never get another teams were just going to hang up their sticks and would win going away. Other than co-captain Mike 4.0 grade point average, drive article on them in their next not participate in ’81. Instead team captains Johnson, Mitch Cohen, and Chris “ Mad Man” a new Seville, get laid every 8 couple of years. Joe Keller Steve Kessler and Bob Dombrowski put Valente, this team is made up of strictly freshmen. hours instead of every put it nicely when he said, together a team that combined the talent left over They may not see any playoff games this year but twelve, own a building, have “There will never be another from the Hotspurs and Ballbusters into what is if they stick together as a team they should have a lunch and the rest of my like you (Carlton Hurdle) in now known as Johnny’s Quest. From the very bright future. In goal is a man already re garded as one of the best goalies in the league, meals in the tower room, and ten years.” I agree. Ballbusters came Bill Dana and Jack MacNamara, Lee Wagner. On offense is sophomore Chris most of all, I’d have a whole Now for the important Bill Dana who was a rover and backup goalie for the Ballbusters will be strictly a goalie for Valente, he may be mad but he finds the goal a lot paper to myself instead of news. Happy birthday to Johnny’s Quest. Jack MacNamara, always one of too. Watch out for first year men co-captain Jim one column. Joe and Ralph Sharon Patricia Hurdle (April the leading scorers in the league, will be playing in Winter and Andy Davidson. In front of Wagner helped to make me great by 3), Carlton Hurdle (April 8), one of the forwards spots. From the Totenham most of the time will be Mike Johnson and Al Gug- putting down the baskets Bernadine Cooley (April 10), Hotspurs came Marty Rackham, Keith McGovern, lieatta. when nobody was around. Eva Shedrick (April 10), and and captains Kessler and Dombrowski. All four Mean Machine There were many nights that my boy Adrian Fletcher (April Hotspurs are offensive players on and off the field. This group of commuter students is led by John Joe stayed around while I 11). Carlton Hurdle scored 19 So other than Jim Henningsen there is not one Blanc and Ron Michaels. Ron and John were both practiced my game. At tnis p ts and grabbed 10 experienced defensive man on the spurs. This is quite disappointed at this year’s managers' meet university, if you don’t make rebounds, while blocking the only problem Quest has facing them this year. ing when they found out that there were a lot of rule changes this year. The free-for-all’s of the special arrangements to three shots and adding three But come playoff time it could become a very years past, when the program resembled Roller better your game, nobody steals, as he represented the large problem. POOM TANG CRABS Ball more than floor hockey, were gone forever. will, because the emphasis University of Bridgeport in Mean Machine flourished under those rules and is not on sports, but on other No, I did not misspell the name. If you have any the “Hall of Fame Game” question about the spelling direct it towards team was always a team to be reckoned with due to things which are dictated by held at New Hampshire captains Mark Simpson and Stephen Perez. I don’t their muscle. Well, Mean Machine seems to have the higher ups. Yes I’d like to College. He was the leading understand why they didn't stick with the name of adjusted fine to the new rules and are playing bet take tim e out to scorer and rebounder as the the team last year, Murray’s John. The name ter than ever. Back again this year is goalie Rick acknowledge these two very Division II and Division III all change may evolve from the team’s desire to get Blanc who is Mr. Consistency in goal. On defense stars were nipped by the out of the toilet and into the thick of the pennant is brother Jon Blanc, Stan Thompson, Craig Froonjan, and an occasional Ron Michaels. On of Division I all-stars, by the race. It seemed that this team would really be hurt by the loss of Derek Rahusen to Johnny's Quest, fense the Mean Machine is strong; at forwards are score of 120-116. Carlton still Scott Thornton, Dave Malarky and Jeff Curtis. The has not decided on which but Simpson and Perez went out and acquired two superb players in Steve Markowski and Brian rover is handled for the most part by Ron European team that he will Moriority. These two along with Simpson on of Michaels. So this year if the Michaels to Thornton decide to go and play for. • fense, Joe Lamazzo and Rocky Garret on defense, show continues this team should fare well in a WHAT DOES the names and Steve Perez in goal, makes the Poom Tang very tough division. Ralph and Joe mean to you? Oh, I mean besides perverts. work upstairs, and only may not need to be cleaned, hold two people who have a To me Ralph and Joe mean upstairs (in the gymnasium). This cage also happens to very nice outlook on life. two nice guys who know It was only this year that they how to treat a person like a were relegated to duties person and a star like a star. downstairs with the Ralph and Joe has never basketball players (and WRITE—WRITE—WRITE even insulted me even once, people who masquerade as The University Avenue needs sports in my four years of school basketball players). This was here at U.B. They always because Joey "Special K” writers, news writers, feature writers, seem to have nice words for Kirshon left the confines of everyone. The only one that I the downstairs cage. Let’s arts writers, photographers and have seen them get upset not confuse this cage with with was one of our centers one that holds animals, for whose initials are P.B. Other this is not so. This cage a circulation manager. than that incident I have holds a fortitude of dirty and never seen them with even a clean jocks, underwear If you are interested, call #4382. hint of an angry face. (sometimes), old trophies Ralph and Joe used to and uniforms, which may or All majors welcome. 12 UNIVERSITY AVENUE Purple Knight miscues come in large quantities Purple Knight miscues come in large quantities “We gave Eastern runs and it’s those few mental mistakes like being out of position which cost us game. ” — Fran Bacon BY MARK JAFFEE Sports Editor two realizing they are not as good as we had Making the accurate throw, hitting the cut-off thought. That game helped us a lot and if we were man, and backing up a play are three of many able to play our game we would have won. We qualities a baseball player must do when they are made the errors a team in March usually makes on the field. These essentials are necessary if a and it all comes down to execution.” team wants to win and when an instance occurs UB scored their pair in the opening inning on there is no time to think; making the quick play Buddy Bray’s double and a run scoring single by must come from a natural instinct. If not the freshman designated hitter Tim Ford. Eastern execution will definitely be off and an error added to its lead by scoring two runs in the top of becomes inevitable. the second, but the Knights came right back by For the Purple Knights, errors proved ex capping a three run burst as Sophomore John Co-captain Mark Coehlo takes charge in the Purple Knight infield. cessively costly as they committed six during Stanisci’s two run single and a run scoring fielders Saturday’s game against Eastern Connecticut, choice by Senior co-captain Scott Thornton. leading to seven unearned runs. Three runs Chuck Kniffin worked the first six and one-third separated the two teams, with Eastern coming out innings being charged with all nine runs. Senior on top with a 9-6 win. Charlie Brower shut-out Eastern the rest of the “ We gave Eastern runs and its those few mental way. Golf team home mistakes, like being out of position, which cost us “ Chuck was inconsistent while he was in the opener against AIC & the game," said baseball coach Fran Bacon. game, and then he began to tire," said Bacon. “We’re a young ball club and I hope the mistakes “The season has just begun so that’s typical. Western Conn. — April 7 do not continue. We are hitting the ball real well Charlie pitched pretty well and he’s the guy I’m and if we continue we will definitely win some going to after the sixth or so inning. He’s the guy Volleybaft team finale games.” that’s going to have to do the job.” Saturday, April 4,1:30 In the season’s opener against the Coast Guard Although the pitching needs to be refined, last Thursday, the Knights committed three errors hitting has been a plus for the Knights in the early against Wentworth-Southern late in the games in their 106 victory. And going. although UB won, they were leading pretty "We are hitting a hundred times better than we convincingly 7-0 through the first five innings as did last year, and we’re making a lot of contact,” Senior Tony Gustitus pitched shutout ball. So, it said Stanisci, the starting left fielder. “ And this seems to be a fair assumption, that errors have team has been mentally prepared for every game.” played a major role during Bridgeport’s first two Bacon summed up his thoughts on the Knights’ contests at Seaside. first two games by saying, “ I’m happy with In the first inning against Eastern, UB booted everything but the errors and I just hope that the four balls leading to three runs. defense starts to tighten up and if we continue to “ When we went onto the field against Eastern, hit we’ll win some games.” we thought they were a mych better team than And the Knights are almost forced into cleaning us,” said Junior pitcher Mike Davis. “Those three up their early season miscues in a hurry because runs made the difference in the game. When we the April schedule has Bridgeport playing just went to hit in the bottom of the inning, we scored about everyday. Vinny Marro — a former UB, player and coach turns umpire and observer next week in sports weekly 1981 VARSITY SCHEDULE D ate O pponent P lace T im e Mar. 26 Coast Guard HOME 3:00 "Mar. 28 Eastern Connecticut HOME 1:00 Mar. 30 Iona Away 3:30 Mar. 31 Quinnipiac HOME 3:00 April 2 Sacred Heart Away 3:15 April 3 H artford HOME 3:00 April 4 Adelphi (doubleheader) Away 1:00 April 6 Springfield Away 3:00 April 9 Central Connecticut HOME 2 3 0 April 10 Pace College HOME 3:00 April 12 Manhattanville College HOME 1 00 April 13 Fairfield Away 3:00 April 14 New Haven Away 3 0 0 April 15 American International Away 3:00 College April 16 Southern Connecticut State Away 3 0 0 April 18 Stonehill (doubleheader) Away 1:00 April 20 Central Connecticut State Away 3 0 0 April 21 New Haven HOME 2:30 April 24 Long Island University HOME 2:00 April 25 Mercy (doubleheader) Away Noon April 27 Southern Connecticut State HOME 3 00 April 28 Quinnipiac Away 3:00 A pril 30 Sacred Heart Away 3:15 May 2 Western Connecticut HOME Noon (doubleheader)