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Humorous Songs

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Humorous Songs I Only Waul a Ruildy, Nol a Gal. Xlicsc Temperance X'olks. What is romance, it's only taking a The rreaelicr and the Hear. These temperaiice folks do crowd us aw chance. 'a preacher went a-huntliiff upon one Sun- fully. crowd us awfully, crowd us Gambling with miserv: . day morn. awfully, I wa.s a fool, but just like in school, I Hit was agaiii hia 'Ils'on. hut ho took hla These temperance folks do crowd us aw I've learned my lesson, you see. gun along; . , fully, Ho shot bisself some vary-ilne quail and They need not think I care. I only want a buddy and not a sweetheart. , one little measly hare. , I'm not the man to lose my liberty, loao Buddies never make you blue: | And on his way returning home, he met my liberty, lose my liberty. Sweethearts make vows, and they're' a great, big grizzly bear. I'm not the man to lose my liberty. broken. Broken like their hearts are broke in ■ The bear marched out to the middle of I haven't a bit to spare. the road an" then aot clown, you see. I'd like to know what's all this fuss about, two. I The coon got so excited lie climbed up a There's somcthlriB smaahlng through. Don't tell me that you love me. say you ■ They hold their meetings 'round eternity, like me. 'Simmon tree; No lovers' quarrel, no bungalows for two. Then the bear got up an' walked aroun I wonder what they'll do? Don I turn down lovers' lanq. just keep an' de coon climbed out on a limb. right on saying He cast up his oyea to the Lord in the CHORUS. Bkios. and these words aald to him: Then forward, boys: hurrah! I only want a buddy and not a gal. We'll join the"glorious fray. ■ "Oh. Lawcl, an' didn't you dellbah Dan'l We'll hoist our flag and on to victory; CHORUS. from de Ilon'a dan? Tlie right shall gain the day. |.I only want a buddy and not a sweetheart, i I Alsd dellbah Jonah froiu de belly of de Buddie.s never make you blue; whaUr, and deii 11 wish theso ohaps wo'uld cease to pity i u , Sweelhcart,s make vows, and they're Da Hebrew cblllen from da firy furnaoa. as broken. da good book do declare— me, cease to pity me, cease to pltyj Broken like their hearts are broke in I Now, bh. Lord, if you can't help for me. two. I goodness sak© doq't help that bear." I wish these chaps would cease to pity me. I am not quite bereft. "aood .old bearl" (G-r-r-p-fr'i "Nice old Though come to search my once flat pock- baar!" (.Q'T-T-'T-vr) "Now, Mr. Bear, etbook. once fat pocketbook, once| I rt I'll gib you Jes' pne nice, big, juicy fat pocketbook. Girl Named Ida-bo. I Though come to search my one© fat pock I For her I'd leave Virginia. ' bite, wlir yd' go 'way den?" [Id leave my Maryland (Q-r-r-r-r-) "No?" (Grr-r-r-r-) "Well. den. etbook. J'se a,-swine slay right whore I la." There's nary sixpence left. I'd part With Mrs. Sippi My coat I know is rather seedy I The widow fair and bland. I'That coon stayed up in that tree, ah think And my pants are tattered, too. Ird leave my Louisa Anna, it was all night, My right foot goes but poorly booted. lAnd other Annas, too; He said: "Now. Lawd, don't yop help And my left foot wears a shoe. ll'd bid farewell to Georgia. that bear an' you 11 see an awful —Chorus. IThough Georgia would be true. fight." PWc}l, jua' about den the limb let go an' I They talk of woe. of want and poverty, [I'd part with Minnie Sota. de coon come a tumhlln' down, want and poverty, want and poverty, (Id part from Delia Ware. {You could see him sit hla rasah out hefo' They talk of woe. of want and poverty. Jid leave brunette Miss Souri ho gtruck d© graun'; There's truth in that. I a'pose. IThe Carolina pair. There's a wife downtown would smile like s [That bear hugged Mr. NIggah, en' hugged Venus, smile like Venus, smile like, [These women ail are lovely. him a little too tight; Venus [True-hearted girls I know. Well, the bear bit off the razah. but do [There's a wife downtown would sralle like j But 'd give them all the go-by. coon held on tvid a vim, Venus I And cleave to Idaho, [He cast up his eyes to the Lawd iq de If I'd sign the pledge this day. skies, an' once mo' said to him: [And a bright haired child would jump and i [l like her breezy manners. caper, II like her honest ways, |"Oh, Lawd, an" didn't yog dellbah Dan'l You may pass the pledge Uiis way. I ke her in the moonlight. from de lions' den? --Choru;:. s JI like her sunny days. Also dellbah Jonah from de belly of do [Goodby, my own Virginia, whale, and den [And other girls I know. Id© Hebrew chillen from de ftry furnace, Ma and the Auto. II m hanging around the gate post. as do good book do deciare—s- Before we tak© an auto ride. Pa says to !Of a girl named Ida-ho. Now, oh. Lawd. if you can't help me, for goodness sake, don't hulp dat bear." Ma; "My dear. (? Now just remember I don't need suggea- jldaho'^ d'Alene, I "Now, Mr. Bear, let's you an' I reason dls I tions from the rear. thing out together, eh?" If you will .1u8t sit still hack there and s (G-r-r-r-r) "Tell .vou' what I'll do, I'll hold in chock your fright. fight you to a finish— ' I'll take you where you want to go end "That's How I Got My Start." I Marquis of Queensbury rules. Are you ret you back all right. game?" (G-r-r-r-r-) No hlttln" in do Hememher that my hearln's good and a.lso I "When I grew up to be a man, clinches." I'm not blind. I said I'd work no more. (G-r-r-r-r-) "An' ah wants a clean .\nd I can drive this car without sugges But dad took me by the pants break. Ready? Shake hands., llol' tions from behind." And kicked me out the door. on, ah didn't . IVs not because I'm lucky. [Say go. yetl N'OL.Cbl Ob, mel .Gh, ml! Ma promises that she'll keep still, then off I It's not because I'm smart, I Oh, iiiyl"'' ((j-r-r-r-r-) "Ob.' La'ird!"^ wo gaily start. My old man say's get out. you bum, But soon she notices aliead a peddler and That's how 1 got my start. his cart. *• OnceI had a wife that loved me, "Tou'd better toot your horh," says she. And I loved her, you know. "to let him know we're near; I He might turn out!" and Pa replies. "Just She caught me with another gal, I shriek at him, my dear." And tlien t had to go. I And then he adds: "Some day, some e:uy It's not because I'm lucky. I will make a lot of dough It's not because I'm smart. I run around with other girls. Your Daddy Did the Same Thing Fifty I By putting horns on tonneau seats for That's how I got my .start. I womenfolks to blow!" Years Ago, De yo-del. lay-ee. O de yo-del lay-ee, "Come in," said father Johnson as IA little farther on Ma cries: "He's sig- O de yo-del lay-ee-ee-ee. knock came on his door. I naiad for a turnl" His youngest son walked in, upon his face I And Pa says: "Did he?" Jn a tone that's Sent In by Hazel Groom. Spokane, a grin, hot enough to burn. He twirled bis thumbs, blushed red and "Oh. there's a boy on roller skatesi" cries said: . Ma, "Now do go slow. "Dear dad, 1 hate to tell you, but I'm I I'm sure he doesn't see our car." And Pa going to dope tonight at eight." J says; "I dunno. The Patter of the Shingle. His lather winked his eye, as he made I think I don't need glasses yet, but really When the angry passions gathering in my this reply. It may be mother's lace I see. I That I am blind and cannot see what's And she leads me to her bedroom, gently CHORUS. right In front of ms." lays md on her knee, Your daddy did the same thing fifty years Then I know that I will catch It and my ago. If Pa should speed the car a bit some rigs flesh In fancy Itches As I listen to the patter of the shingle He went to a lot of bother, just to have to hurry oast. on my breeches. you call him father. I Ma whispers: "Do be careful now.
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