A critiqueofright- Education andArts wing commentary semester two Revue Reviews: Sex workand First Person: social media week six Group Sex 2013 p 10 p 12 p 16 p 7 honi soit DISCONTENTS The art of listening COKE IN THE 4 BUBBLERS As easy it is to become apathetic about rience that we may never be unlucky individual threads are loathe to be sev- the current state of Australian politics enough to have scarred onto our bodies ered. The warmest fabrics are built from Hannah Ryan and give up altogether, your vote will and minds, but that we may be trusted the collaboration, peaceful coexistence help lessen the possibility of an Abbott- enough to share. If you are trusted with and reciprocity of the threads that com- MALE POLITICIANS’ led government. Use it wisely. But of them, treat the fragments kindly. Some- prise it. Of we, the threads, that hold course, you’ve heard this all before, so times they flicker with structural oppres- the fragile balance of power in our 8 DAUGHTERS I’ll leave it here. Don’t let him win. sion, institutionalised discrimination, daily weaves, that collectively dictate the Matilda Surtees Now, onto more practical matters. and daily struggle. structural integrity of the fabric. Being wrong can be a useful experi- Ask questions. Considerate, relevant And lessons learnt in fraying threads THE JOB ence. When we are wrong, we learn. questions. Listen for the answers that are not fast forgotten. 11 But only if we listen. Last week, a par- explain better than wilful ignorance, Listen for knowledge and understand- INTERVIEW ticularly saddening Facebook argument bigotry, projected insecurities and the ing, empathise with grief, and ask for Anonymous I was lurking got me thinking. I don’t paternalism that mimics arrogance consent. when you think you’re right. mean this to sound like the jacket blurb In a sense, other people are all we of a mid-80s self-help book, but: you In a sense, other people are all we have. But to truly appreciate this we FUNERAL learn more by being quiet and wrong have. Connections to friends and lovers, must first employ the art of shutting up. 13 ETIQUETTE 101 than you do by being loud and right. to families and classmates, are forged And listening. Blythe S Worthy If someone raises a concern - shut for a reason. You wouldn’t willingly hurt up and listen. If you ask for someone’s the feelings of a loved one, so consider opinion and legitimately want to hear it, how you treat the loved ones of others. MUCH ADO ABOUT shut up and listen. If you get pulled up Whether we are having sex with three 15 STUDENT POLITICS on racist, sexist, transphobic, homopho- at a time (p. 12), or paying our final Adam Disney bic, or otherwise oppressive language, respects to them (p. 13), our interactions shut up and listen. Then seek, read, with others tend to define us as social and learn. The only person who has a actors, as whole as we may be within 16 REVUE REVIEWS responsibility to educate you about why ourselves. Almost inextricably, we are Various you’re being offensive is you. bound to the fabric of collective ecsta- Privileges should be checked every sies and griefs, even if the level of our step of the way. Listen to stories and binding varies greatly throughout our lives. THE SOIN anguish, laughter and memories. The 21 tears you didn’t exude, but that moisten So treat the fabric well; take care of it, Mariana Podesta-Diverio your skin. The fragments of lived expe- borrow from it, and lend to it, because Editor-in-chief

Editor-in-chief: Mariana Podesta-Diverio Editors: Rafi Alam, Bryant Apolonio, Max Chalmers, Avani Dias, Nick Row- botham, Hannah Ryan, Xiaoran Shi, Nina Ubaldi, Lucy Watson. Reporters: Bernadette Anvia, Georgia Behrens, Benedict Brunker, Ariel Castro- Martinez, Adam Disney, Nick Gowland, Nina Hallas, Georgia Kriz, Patrick Madden, Alexandra Mildenhall, Felicity Nelson, Ellen O’Brien, Sean O’Grady, WOULD YOU RATHER... Justin Pen, Nick Richardson, Lane Sainty, Max Schintler, Cameron Smith, Harry Stratton, Matilda Surtees, Max Weber, Blythe S Worthy, Evan Van Zijl. Have medium-sized bamboo Contributors: Kyol Blakeney, Michael Gemmell, Shannen Potter, Alex Tighe. knitting needles for fangs? Cartoons and photos: Stella Ktenas OR Cover: Rafi Alam Be a bottle of saffron-infused Puzzles: Dover Dubosarsky, Patrick Horton. massage oil that is used to Ticker tape: Ridiculous things Tony Abbott has said lubricate pugs’ wrinkles? FAQ: The editors of Honi Soit and the SRC acknowledge the traditional owners of this land, the Gadigal people As the bottle of oil, will I just be of the Eora nation. Honi Soit is written, printed, and used for all pugs universally or just distributed on Aboriginal land. If you are reading this, a couple of specific pugs? you are standing on Aboriginal land. Please recog- Just a couple of specific pugs. Their nise and respect this. names are Grommit and Porridge. They live in Erskineville and like long walks Want to place an advertisement in Honi Soit ? Contact Amanda LeMay & in the park, snuffling and wearing pug- Jess Henderson [email protected] sized socks and beanies.

Honi Soit is published by the Students’ Representative Council, University of Sydney, Level 1 Wentworth Building, City Road, University of Sydney, NSW, 2006. The SRC’s If I bite people with my bamboo operation costs, space and administrative support are financed by the University of fangs, will they also grow bamboo Sydney. Honi Soit is printed under the auspices of the SRC’s Directors of Student fangs? Publications: Clare Angel-Auld, Adam Chalmers, Bebe D’Souza, Brigitte Garozzo, James O’Doherty, Lane Sainty. All expressions are published on the basis that they are not to be regarded as the opinions of the SRC unless specifically stated. The Yup. #stillabetterstorythanTwilight. Council accepts no responsibility for the accuracy of any of the opinions or informa- tion contained within this newspaper, nor does it endorse any of the advertisements and insertions. Printed by MPD, Unit E1 46-62 Maddox St. Alexandria NSW 2015.

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Morris loudly informed her friends that our friends in the cast, crew and band. thetical-Western-profile-of-what-Jesus- SOUND& it was the “worst fucking revue” she had I have personally contacted members probably-didn’t-look-like thing. It’s ever seen, having made similar remarks from the Revue and they assured me unbiblical, and, frankly, weird. #some- fury throughout the show, and upon being that they found the Board’s conduct was thingsomethingREFORMATIONso- asked if she should at least wait until all in good fun and that it did not dis- methingsomething exiting the theatre to voice such com- tract from their performance. 2. In the unlikely event that you actu- ments, politely replied that it couldn’t To those members of the audience we ally wanted a sincere answer to your LifeChoice is no choice wait- evidently it was that urgent. may have caused offence to however, we implied question (“Why does the EU Dear Editors, I’m glad to see that the students sincerely apologise. The USU Board will throw free BBQs all the time?”), here’s I want to thank Ellen for looking at elected to represent the union, explicitly continue to support the passion of stu- an answer: We’re the Evangelical Union. the choices facing student parents at in the role of ‘supporting and fostering dents that has kept the Revue program Evangelical means ‘of the gospel’. Gos- Sydney Uni. Or, in fact, the lack thereof. student life’, take such a hands-on role running strong for many years. pel means ‘grand announcement’. The Women are the victims of a system that in contributing to the student commu- Hannah Morris, JD II grand announcement (NB: not ‘private nity. conviction’) we’re on about is specifi- says they have no choice: their baby or USU President Being the only ones in the theatre cally the one that Jesus of Nazareth died their education. Ps. On a personal note, I would like to to drunkenly heckle, and openly criti- to reconcile humanity back to right She shared Bridget’s story of being clarify that the worst Revue experience cise, I wonder why we didn’t see more relationship with God, and was raised forced to leave university after falling of my life was actually Law Revue 2011 of this when they were campaigning to again to life, defeating death – and is pregnant with her second child. when I saw my best friend naked for the be elected, as obviously it is what they now risen & reigning Lord of all (not first time. Nothing could be more scar- I see a picture of a society that tells consider to be the appropriate action just those who believe in him), holding ring than that. women when it is acceptable for them to for board directors, elevated as they out the promise of bringing restora- have children, and under what circum- are above the regular student body. I tion to everything that has been broken. stances. Governments and universities remember during her campaign, Morris, Far left groups not so utopian So, yes, we kind of do want people to only support a woman who has made the in her brightly coloured shirt, escorting know about Him, and if free food is ‘right’ decision about her reproduction: Rafi Alam’s article, ‘Rape apologism me to Manning to assist me in voting for and the far left’ raises many issues and what it takes, is that really a problem? to have children when it is convenient to her, and actually asking me how my day We wanted to give you free food the them. Not while she is at university. I have several disagreements with it, but was in a demonstration of basic human I’ll address one of the main ones. Rafi past month of Your God events, at the The parents who keep both their baby manners that seemed noticeably absent argues left groups, “aim to reflect the expense of our own students (yes, we and their education are neglected by the last night. Truth be told, I did end up structures and values they want to see pool our resources to pay for free food system that told them to make a choice. voting for her, but if I had known how in the world within their groups.” But for you), is (a) that we want to show you Presenting this as a victory of female her and the majority of the directors that is utopian. Left groups should rec- something of the same grace that God autonomy is deceptive. chose to act in support of the students ognise that we are products of a system has extended to us in Jesus, the same Before advocating “choice”, they they supposedly represent, as the Edu- that teaches us from birth that women free gift, and (b) that we want as many should make sure that a choice actu- cation faculty tried (and succeeded) to are inferior. We must overturn that sys- people as possible to come to know the ally exists. When the abortion lobby have fun and put on a show to entertain tem and build a new world of equality life, hope, joy and freedom that they expends as much effort campaigning us, I would have known it would be the in its place. Fighting sexism is central to were made to know in relationship with for an actual choice, as it does protest- ‘worst fucking vote’ I’d ever cast. the struggle against the system and that their Creator. We believe this Jesus is legit, and we want you to know Him. ing a society’s right to exist, I’ll take their I understand that these are individuals means taking it seriously. claims more seriously. and not automatons, and they’re entitled No serious left organisation can toler- 3. Given the misconceptions you evi- Students at Sydney University are to their opinions and to have question- ate rape or sexual assault. No organisa- dently have about what it means to be a being presented with two options: either able lapses in behaviour, but you would tion should proscribe whether someone follower of Jesus, you are absolutely wel- give up their baby, or give up their edu- hope that they’d still have the common should report to the police. But women come to come alone to any of our Pub- cation. Some choice. decency- or perhaps the extra decency do not get justice from the courts. Rarely lic Meetings at 1pm on Tues to Thurs, or join a Bible study to see whether there’s Sophia Fernon BA/BComm IV. expected by their position in this directly does reporting rape lead to charges and relevant circumstance- to not put on convictions. Instead, women become more to Jesus than watered-down pop- the rude, self indulgent display that the the victims of the sexist prejudices that cultural appropriations. Locations at Some Board directors not on best audience and cast were subject to last prevail inside the police and the legal sueu.org.au. Would love to see you there, behaviour night. It seems that all these individuals system. This is why organisations must if only for a bit of banter! Hi Honi, long time reader, first time profess their desires to submerge them- address all sexist behaviour, including 4. Oh – the food is free for everyone, indignant complainer. selves within the dignity and expecta- rape. not just Access card holders. Last night at the time of writing tions of the position when campaigning, Understanding the circumstances that Steph Judd but then go on to demonstrate a behav- (Thursday 29th) I had the pleasure of create rape and sexual violence, and what Arts/Law VI seeing the education revue the same iour indicating that, shockingly, they may it means victims, is crucial to the fight VP of the EU night as a collection of current and just be pursuing these positions for their against it. Fighting all manifestations former union board directors, and as own pragmatic, and egotistical purposes. of sexism is a necessary part of build- much as I genuinely enjoyed the show I’d like to note that I am in no way ing an organisation capable of fight- it was topped by the entertainment pro- involved in student political life, and I ing for women’s liberation. This also vided by our union board representa- don’t align myself with any political means educating ourselves about sexism tives. With the exception of a sober and group on campus; I’m only writing this and oppression, addressing the gender mannered Tom Raue, and the absent letter to point out the disgraceful behav- socialisation that undermines women’s Karen Chau, Bebe D’Souza and Sophie iour that reaffirms my belief that the confidence, and building women leaders Stanton, we were provided with end- director gig is not so much caring about in every fight against the system. less commentary by the remainder of students, but more caring about your Amy Thomas, Solidarity the board, and previous member Rhys C V. Pogonoski, who attended completely Bennett Sheldon, Arts II wasted (made clear by audible mid show Jesus sausage no laughing matter boasting about how they had started Dear Honi, A message from the President drinking at 3), and continued to yell out To briefly respond to whoever wrote their ‘witticisms’ throughout the entirety The Revue season is a highlight of the piece on the apparition of Jesus in a of the show. While all directors, sans the USU’s calendar and provides a won- sausage (in what can only be a loosely- Raue, got into the spirit of contribut- derful opportunity for the Board to defined “Humour” article – if you’re ing to ongoing scenes and sharing the appreciate the talent and hard work of going to mock us, please, at least make it wine bottle inconspicuously left in the all students involved (especially for up- innovative or vaguely entertaining): audience at the end of the show, of par- and-coming revues such as the Educa- ticular note was Union Board President tion Revue!). 1. By way of clarification, Evan- Hannah Morris. gelical Christians don’t “do” the whole Heckling at revues is an old revue tra- apparition-in-kooky-everyday-inan- Upon the ending of the show, while dition and the Board came to the Edu- imate-objects-of-a-fabricated-hypo- leaving the theatre toward the foyer, cation Revue to enthusiastically support

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short and sell long.” The name was also a strategy to get the media’s attention. The party without any candidates As one member said in an email to the Hannah Ryan reports on the three USYD students who deferred their degrees to take on Canberra team, “Coke in the Bubblers isn’t neces- The rise of the minor party is one of ment consulting firms, and there were Molloy says that at that stage “the ideal sarily the name that we’re going with but the media’s pet narratives of the 2013 also a few individuals. “The thing that outcome was trying to build a move- the ad people at [their media consulting federal election. WikiLeaks, Palmer surprised a lot of us was that there were ment that started in universities and company] thought registering a party in United, the Pirate Party: all claim to be some very important companies that went to engage more of the population that name was too good a news story to dissatisfied with the old ALP-LNP duo- put a huge amount of money into some to run some candidates.” pass up.” poly and promote themselves as a new university students,” says Dave. “I just At the same time, Miller, Thomas CITB was registered in July with over voice that you should install in the Sen- remember being incredibly certain that and Burton continued their fundraising 500 members. At this stage, Burton and ate. There’s another name on the list of they had just a huge amount of money.” efforts. In an email to the Eureka team Thomas left the scene. Miller eventu- new minor parties: Coke in the Bubblers Fellow student and debater Tim* was in January, they wrote that they had “set ally abandoned the idea of running any (CITB), which was quietly registered surprised too. “The natural question up the meetings for the next fortnight candidates in the election, and a fleeting with the Australian Electoral Commis- that will hopefully allow [them] to raise plan to run a ten-year-old boy, Josh, for sion on July 16 of this year, a mere two “I just remember being a further $250 000 by the start of March Prime Minister as a publicity stunt was months before the election. incredibly certain that they and find the first voice and face of the abandoned too. CITB or something like it was born had just a huge amount of movement.” A week later, they wrote Apart from obvious logistical challe- about halfway through last year. Three that they had had meetings with four neges, there may be other reasons why USYD students, Ed Miller, Chris money.” “prominent businessmen,” and that CITB or the original Eureka Movement Thomas and James Burton put their they thought they would raise around ended up not running in the election. degrees on hold in mid-2012 to attempt $200 000 in the next fortnight. Some Dave says that “while it’s very fashion- to tackle what they saw as worrying was how did you get these people on who were involved claim that there was able to hate politicians, they just didn’t problems with Australian politics and side?” he says. “It seemed quite odd that a disparity between their representations back up a lot of the things that they were the economy. In their view, Australia [top-tier consulting firms] were step- in private and what they would reveal going for.” Gerald*, another debater faced economic problems, like a ris- ping in – but not unthinkable.” Sam publicly. “It is definitely true that there who went to the event in November, ing debt to GDP ratio and exposure to Molloy, a student who did some work was a huge difference between their doubted that they could be successful as international risk, which would eventu- with the group over summer, also had willingness to privately flaunt the sup- a party, because they were trying to pitch ally ripen into disaster. They were also the impression that the group had sig- port of those companies and the com- to both old people and young people concerned about other issues of inter- nificant support. “I know that they had plete lack of external reference to those by combining their investment policies generational equity, like superannuation been given what uni students would companies,” says Dave. with things like same-sex marriage and and climate change. They believed that consider to be a large amount of money The plan to build the campaign out “when push came to shove they wouldn’t short-termism and an anachronistic from, I think, private individuals who of universities proved difficult. “People get too many votes.” Tim was also con- fidelity to the left-right spectrum meant happened to be very wealthy and in the engaged with the movement less than cerned by the feasibility of operating as that the existing parties were not posi- corporate world,” he says. they were hoping,” Molloy says, and it a party: “They said they didn’t want to tioned to solve these problems. A lack At the event, the group mentioned was becoming apparent that running in engage in the left-right spectrum – that’s of civility in politics wasn’t helping. the possibility of running candidates for the federal election was “a little unre- odd for a political party.” He thinks Miller, Thomas and Burton knew they the Australian Senate. They would focus alistic”. Still, the group had a presence they were also ambiguous on issues that wanted to mobilise students and their on the Senate races in NSW, Tasmania, at university O-Days around Australia would face a parliamentary party: “How ideas included forming a think thank or South Australia and Western Australia, in March, as they tried to get a range pursuing parliamentary representation. and they mentioned names like ex-ALP of young people to commit to aims “Do you want to take a A plan to start a political party would Finance Minister Lindsay Tanner and like focusing on the long-term, not be ambitious, but Miller, Burton and former deputy PM and leader of the the next term. They also took a range semester off uni and come Thomas appeared to have significant Nationals John Anderson as the of photos of students holding work for us?” financial backing. They demonstrated kinds of honest and respected peo- speech bubbles saying things like this over three evenings in November ple they would approach to stand “POLITICS IS BROKEN” and last year, when the group held events as candidates. According to Tim, “POLITICIANS ARE FUCK- would they work as a party, given that on Level 31 of the impressive Deutsche the ultimate question at the end of ING WITH OUR FUTURE,” they have to work within the system Bank Building near Martin Place at the the night was: “do you want to take which they hoped to develop into that they hated?” They were “trying to offices of private equity investment firm a semester off uni and come work a photo petition, and some of paint it as easy,” Tim says, “but I knew it Pacific Equity Partners. The aim was to for us?” which are now on the CITB would be huge amount of work.” Dave persuade other students and friends to The pitch won them several Facebook page. sums up his feelings: “I do think it’s a volunteer their time over the summer volunteers. As the ‘Eureka By May, they had decided very noble pursuit to make sure political holidays, and part of the pitch’s appeal Movement’, they rented out a that the name Eureka had discourse is constructive, I just got really rested on the group’s connections in the spacious office on Broadway racist undertones, and the sceptical really quickly.” corporate world. According to Dave*, a (currently advertised for $87 group renamed itself Coke It’s clear that Miller, Thomas and USYD student who is involved in debat- 000 per annum). According in the Bubblers and started Burton had a lot of ideas and drive and ing and went to one of the sessions, to Dave, who visited the office working towards party reg- probably a lot of money, but it’s not believes the office was “there to impress a few times, “they didn’t use istration. The name was clear what came of it. Six months after us. And it worked.” much of that space at all”, but a comment on the state moving into their office, they gave up The group’s presentation included it was outfitted with a ping of politics – as the CITB the lease, and the three of them are back a slide listing sponsors, attendees say. pong table. website reads: “Every year, at uni. The CITB Facebook page has a Some of the assistance Miller, Thomas Over summer, the team in primary schools across solid 1,271 likes, but hasn’t posted since and Burton claimed to have was in cash, began to work on new policy the country, students are June. Their website is up and running, some in kind: “office space, providing ideas, mapping out the existing elected to leadership posi- but most of it is under construction and consultants to help do research,” Ger- policy landscape, and a plan to tions on the promise of put- all of the FAQs are ‘coming soon’. The ald*, another student, recalls. They were mobilise university students in ting Coke in the Bubblers. front page counts down to the old elec- impressive names: Dave remembers the coming year. They received Unfortunately, it feels like tion date of September 14. The footer hearing they had got research done by advice on a field campaign our political leaders are claims that “Australia deserves better”. “really serious, high-ranking commercial from a student who’d worked trapped in a system that * Names have been changed. firms”, including media and manage- on Obama’s 2012 campaign. still forces them to promise

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Well, I guess I stacked it well! tinued interest in the Politics Society. in two weeks, so whether or not a re- Last Thursday saw the stacking of Mariam George notes that she’s “not stack occurs, or if the usual barely-made the Politics Society (PolSoc). 20-30 Lib- a member of SULC,” but that she is a quorum occurs, remains to be seen. eral Club (SULC) members, associated member of the hard-right Conservative Race to the top? All the rumours, hearsay, and downright slander from Club, and that the presence of SULC the world of student politics and culture with the soft-right of the Liberal Party, The USU has followed up on its was not intended, but incidental. How- forced Board Director Robby Magyar to promise to address accusations of racial Shurat up a ya face ever, the hard-right has been known to call the meeting invalid. PolSoc is, ironi- insensitivity with a Cultural Sensitivity be cosying up to the soft-right recently HONI NEWS The Australian Human Rights Com- cally, not often politicised, usually failing Forum held last Tuesday. The forum against the moderate faction. Also, mission has terminated a class action to make quorum. The club, not expect- consisted of a panel of academics and FREE Week Six Edition “WHERE THERE’S A WILL, THERE’S A WAY” George, perhaps unknowingly, stated filed against Sydney University academic, ing many attendants, chose a room with students, and followed the Union’s that: “If 18 people came to support me Professor Jake Lynch, for his involve- a limit of 15, and the attendance of 50 Critical Race Discussion forum, which without me organising it, I guess that’s ment in the Boycott, Divestment, and broke the OH&S requirements of the attempted to further understand the called support, but if people want to say Sanctions movement on campus. The room, meaning that the meeting could cultural intricacies that were, to put it I’ve stacked it, well, I guess I stacked it action was filed by Israeli based civil not legally continue. The Presidential lightly, ignored in the Day of the Dead well!” rights group, Shurat HaDin, who stated contest – which can only include candi- Party, later renamed Start of Semester that Lynch’s involvement in the BDS dates from the previous year’s executive The Gate received an anonymous Fiesta. USU President Hannah Mor- movement, specifically his denial of a – was between Joel Schubert, a moder- email from a member of the soft-right ris believes the forum was a “step in professor from Hebrew University to ate Liberal, and Mariam George, associ- who addressed it to “whoever the fuck the right direction.” However, panellist use his name on an application under ated with the soft- and hard-right. Many does Unigate” that seems to confirm Oscar Monaghan criticised the format a fellowships program between both of the other positions were contested by suspicions that the stack was politically of the panel at the forum as “reinforcing institutions, was unlawful under the SULC members. Natasha Burrows, cur- motivated, in that Alex Dore and the knowledge hierarchies” in a statement Racial Discrimination Act 1975. Nitsana rent President of PolSoc, lamented that soft right hate Schubert. However, it that was later transcribed into a blog Darshan-Leitner, the head of Shurat “it’s a shame if a society that has prided seems as though George was unaware post. Monaghan and Tabitha Prado- HaDin, told the Gate that the case was itself in being independent is the target of the stack, and Chaneg Torres and Richardson – the other student panellist terminated by the AHRC because Lynch of vested political interests.” Dean Schahar, members of the hard- – did however appreciate the intentions was absent at the commission’s hear- It appears as though the saga involves right and nominators for positions on of the USU in starting a dialogue sur- ing. As a result, they have decided to factional tensions that go way up to PolSoc, backed her solely to oppose rounding matters of race within USU take the case to the Federal Court. The the Big Liberals. Alex Dore, eternal Schubert. This is allegedly a break from programs and events. The forum was University administration has stated that President of SULC, attended the meet- national politics, where the soft-right generally without significant contro- they will not provide legal assistance to ing, but claimed the charge of stack- and moderate Liberals are teaming up to versy, save for a scandal that emerged Lynch and his associates. Thus, they ing is a “totally hysterical and fanciful “fuck the Taliban [hard-right]”. when @USU_Access reprimanded the are circulating a petition to support the charge,”and that the presence of SULC We’re sceptical of the veracity of any- Gate for using the hashtag #usuforum BDS movement and to be named a co- members – most of whom nominated thing we hear in an anonymous email instead of #usucsf. Sorry, we genuinely defendant to Lynch and Rees when the for positions on the day – was not an from Liberals stacking a society, but in didn’t see the giant event hashtag on the matter goes to court. overrepresentation but due to their con- any case, PolSoc is having another AGM projector screen, our bad. The lesser of two evils Are Labor and the Liberals distinguishable on Indigenous policy? Kyol Blakeney investigates Since the first governments of Austra- ple of any race, other than the aboriginal lia, the status of Aboriginal and Torres race in any State.” Section 127, which Strait Islanders has been debated more excluded Aboriginals from the census, often than you’ve debated whether to was also erased. It was actually the Lib- walk down Eastern Ave during cam- eral Party under the Holt Government paigning season. In that time, both that held this renowned occasion. Labor and the Liberals have overseen However, in the last 46 years the tables significant changes (positive and nega- have turned and Labor has come to the tive) to their positions on the rights tra- fore on Indigenous rights. Both Keat- ditional owners have on their land. ing and Rudd have given apologies while While many people may be opposed Howard refused to, education in remote to both major parties, the reality is that communities has been in the spotlight one of them is going to win. But which and every Aboriginal four-year-old child is the lesser of the two evils when it now has access to early childhood edu- comes to what will be done to improve cational facilities, $10 million has gone Indigenous Australians’ way of life after into the Recognise campaign, and 90% this election? of eligible Indigenous Australians will Taking a brief tour down memory receive funding from DisabilityCare. lane to set the context; Aboriginal peo- The Howard Liberal Government ple became Australian citizens in 1949, started the Intervention, allowing the when a separate Australian citizenship federal government to have complete was created for the first time (before that control over Aboriginal land in the NT time all Australians, including Aboriginal and manage the finances of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people, were people for them. “British subjects”). Aboriginal people Because I am a thorough person who from Queensland and Western Austra- is quite objective, I did some research lia gained the vote in federal elections in specifically for the Liberal side of this 1962. However, a Commonwealth Act article. Abbott has promised to put aside confirmed the Commonwealth voting $45 million for the GenerationOne right of Aboriginal people from other Employment Model, allowing more states in 1949 . We got the vote in WA employers to take on more employees. state elections in 1962 and Queensland But this only provides one-off employ- state elections in 1965. ment rather than actually funding the One of the most memorable moments training of Aboriginal and Torres Strait in Australian history was the 1967 Refer- Islander people for those jobs. I seri- endum, which officially changed Section ously needed to find something else to 51(xxvi) of the constitution, which had make this debate a little less one sided so previously given the Federal Parliament I called the Liberal Ministerial and Elec- power to “make laws for the peace, toral Offices. They declined to com- order, and good government of the ment. What can one do? Commonwealth with respect to the peo-

“[women’s] aptitudes, abilities and interests are different for physiological reasons.” 5 news @honi_soit What will Abbott mean for universities? With a Coalition victory looking assured, Benedict Brunker assesses what might happen to the tertiary education sector after the election

I would warn you about the Coalition’s and $350 to couples. years. Submissions have already closed cliché insinuate itself into the discourse: Higher Education policy… If I knew Despite a return to surplus being for the group, and if you’re wondering “work with the sector”, which essentially what it was. a major platform of the Coalition, when you’ll get to see the results of means “work with the management”. In 2011 Shadow Minister for Edu- Shadow Treasurer Joe Hockey has not that group’s deliberations, and the pol- It may well be that the most worrying cation Christopher Pyne spoke of the yet been able to provide a year in which icy the Coalition decide to formulate on thing of all is not that Pyne and Mason “reforming zeal” he and Shadow Min- such a return would take place – with its basis, I wouldn’t recommend holding are infused with a “reforming zeal”, but ister for Universities and Research Brett current Treasurer Chris Bowen main- out for September 7. that the cuts, the trend towards corpora- Mason held towards higher education. taining Labor can provide a surplus by When the Coalition waxes lyrical tisation and the adoption of a business If you want to find out what Pyne and 2016 (though Labor have been wrong about higher education, they place a par- model of tertiary education means that Mason are so zealous about reforming, about that before, to say the least). ticular emphasis on tertiary education’s the Coalition will be perfectly happy with business as usual. you’ve got your work cut out for you. In fairness, a Coalition Higher Educa- important role in a strong economy Only one of the 42 policy documents tion policy does actually exist. One of its and its importance as Australia’s the Coalition has released to the pub- manifestations is the establishment of largest service export industry. lic, the “Coalition’s Policy for Schools”, an “Online Higher Education Working Though the “reforming zeal” of deals in any way with university educa- Group”, a commission that will look at Pyne and Mason expresses itself tion. the future role of the internet in higher in only a 150 word statement, that The Coalition has promised to get education. The Coalition seems particu- statement is worrying enough. the nation back to surplus. They will larly excited about the possible impacts Where will staff be left with the be doing this despite scrapping the the internet could have on Higher Edu- Coalition’s commitment to “work mining tax and cutting Company Tax cation, especially its ability to “provide with the sector to reduce the bur- Rates, leaving a considerable number students with more flexible and afford- den of red tape, regulation and of “savings” (read: “cuts”) that a Coali- able tertiary education”. reporting, freeing up the sector to concentrate on delivering results tion government would have to make to Online learning models, while pro- and services”? What will critics fulfil their promise. Some of these have viding much scope for innovation and of the corporatisation of the Uni- already been announced, among them a creativity, could also be used as a pre- versity be up against if we have cut to the Supplementary Allowance for text for the increasing casualisation of a government which focusses on the unemployed, students and parents academic staff that we have already working “with the sector to grow The Quadrangle, circa 1880. The University of Sydney with young children on income support. seen University management attempt higher education as an export industry”? has seen the rise and fall of many governments This will be worth $210 to individuals to implement over the past couple of You may have noticed another ghastly

When voting, use protection OPINION The Sex Party market themselves as progressives, but be careful before you get into bed with them says Evan Van Zijl

“Are the Sex Party just a front for the support of the ASP are progressive, but ishing the influence of religious groups will not be welcomed at Equal Marriage Greens?” an interviewer asks. the party itself isn’t inherently left wing. and supporting online privacy, align with rallies across the country for their cynical When asked if the Australian Sex Party The party is ultimately bound by the the adult industry’s ability to increase its use of Amber’s tragic passing for politi- is a front for the Greens, Fiona Patten, interests of the adult businesses which own profit margin. cal advancement.” said April Holcombe, President of the Sex Party (ASP) and donate to it and the Eros Association, These corporate interests set the ASP spokesperson for Socialist Alternative. CEO of the Eros Association, laughs apart from activist parties such as the Now, the ASP have directed prefer- and leans forward with a smile. Greens, socialist groups, and the Pirate ences toward Pauline Hanson’s One “We come from a small business back- Party and creates an uneasy relationship Nation in the Senate which is likely to ground … I think [the] Greens would be with the left despite common ground on see Pauline Hanson hold the balance running around in tears at the thought civil liberties. of power in an Abbott-led parliament. that we’d ever be a front for them.” The ASP has now oriented toward This preference deal and the ongoing political tensions have caused a wave of Under the advice of former Australian more conservative parties with a neo- outrage from progressive (now former) Democrats leader Don Chipp, Patten liberal economic analysis rather than supporters of the ASP. and her colleagues in the Eros Associa- activist parties with an interest in civil tion founded the microparty in 2009 as liberties. Justified only by their critique Despite denials from candidates, such a means to fight the proposed internet of the Greens as having an individual as Nick Wallis running for Jagajaga, filter of the Labor government. Shortly candidate which Patten describes as an commenting online that “[he knows] afterward, the ASP burst onto the fed- “anti-sex feminist”, the ASP have joined for a fact there was no deal”, the ASP eral scene with a whole lot of cheek in the Liberals in directing preferences posted a statement on their website con- a Senate bid which attracted a flock of toward the ALP in ALP versus Greens firming and attempting to justify nego- progressive supporters with its political seats. tiating with a white supremacist party: narrative. This antagonism toward the left has “We reckoned that there was a prefer- ence flow advantage to us putting this The very first ASP television adver- The Sex Party’s thoroughly ethical advertising extended well beyond directing prefer- party above the Greens and so we went tisement in 2010, ‘Jerk Choices’, mocked the adult business lobby from which the ences against the Greens. Recently, the for it.” the Liberals’ industrial relations policies ASP sprung and is somewhat governed ASP candidate for Melbourne Ports, and called for marriage equality, and by. broadcast a public attack on members It is unclear if the ASP can resolve of Socialist Alternative grieving over their identity crisis and the inconsistency freedom of expression and sexuality. A glance at the ASP’s website reveals a the suicide of Amber Maxwell, a trans* between their business orientation and The strength of this message, reinforced lack of policy on the environment, ref- identifying activist within their group. progressive voter base but it is clear is by humorous confrontations with Fam- ugees, or welfare, while putting forward that they are certainly not a front for the ily First and collaboration with the Scar- policies which support those margina- “Australian Sex Party candidate Melissa left. If anything, the ASP example pro- let Alliance on sex work policy, inspired lised on the basis of gender or sexuality Star openly blamed Amber’s close com- vides a clear argument as to why pro- people to put on a yellow shirt and also but never at the expense of businesses rades and friends for her death the day gressive aims cannot come about within attracted over 2% of the vote. and profit. In fact, many of the issues after she took her own life. Amber was the framework of the corporate. Many of the people who turned out in that the ASP champions, such as dimin- loudly opposed to the Sex Party as a party of the bosses and the Sex Party

6 “Do we want an Australia celebrated for its way of life or an Australia that is celebrated for its way of death?” www.honisoit.com news Department of Corrections

In-house Tory Nick Richardson on why the right are going about media commentary the wrong way

Jones. Akerman. Bolt. Devine. Is this however, has shamelessly discarded its has become trapped in an endless cycle when they have something to fight for really the best that the right can do? raison d’être for the very worst type of of critiquing the other team into non-ex- beyond tearing the other team down. If the answer is yes, then we have a torch-and-pitchforks extremism, ped- istence under the false impression that it This can only happen three ways. serious problem. The appalling state of dling the basest of base fear politics, is the ultimate end. First, we need greater self-reflection conservative political commentary is and encouraging a culture of willful To be fair, there is a lot to critique. from the right. Change comes from one of the great unacknowledged can- ignorance where politicians are held Governments should be held to account. within. Conservative commentary must cers killing Australian political culture. to no account for their selling-out of The problem with writers like Bolt and acknowledge the failings of conserva- Automatons without vision and without a party’s long forgotten Akerman is not the cri- tive political parties to maintain the stan- nuance, blindly chewing up and spitting founding values. tiques themselves but dards of its ideals. Pragmatism is born out the party line without any self-re- We need a steadier their emptiness. Aker- from ideology without partisanship, not flection or capacity to even acknowledge mix of pragmatism and man trots out the same partisanship without ideology. Second, the egregious selling out on their own ideology. Political com- tired lines about boats we need to bring back the commentator side of politics has created an apologism mentary has become and debt and incompe- as a valuable part of society beyond which dips into self-parody. increasingly partisan tence without placing merely a taken for granted hack. Jour- If the answer is no, then where did without becoming more his critique within a nalism plays a vital role in democracy all the smart people go? It is very diffi- ideological. The uto- framework of analysis. and social life. We will only get respect cult to believe that there is not a single pian ideal of commen- Critiquing Labor has from our journalists when we respect young, articulate, and intelligent voice tary without ideology is become the end game. them back. Stop the brain drain by mak- aching to join the mainstream conserva- impossible, but the sub- There is no explanation ing journalism as lucrative as law. Third, tive commentariat. Is there a brain drain jugation of ideology to as to why we need to we need greater discussion of what it into law and finance? Do smart people partisanship has ensured stop the boats, why the means to be right wing. This identity have an aversion to anything political? the death of pragma- debt exists, or why the crisis will not be solved by meaningful tism. Labor philosophy is a debate of what it means to be of the Mainstream political commentary, damaging one. All we ‘right’, but it will at least be mitigated. both right and left (and I use these terms When was the last time Andrew Bolt or Alan Jones, or Tony get is that it is so. The distasteful, dumbed-down politick- I much disdain for convenience and in ing of our leaders will only be reversed the broadest and loosest way possible), Abbott for that matter, talked about We need liberty and fairness and indi- liberty, fairness, and the power of indi- vidualism to be brought back to the if they are seriously held to account. It’s has descended to hollow echoes of tired time for the right to have a look at itself one-liners utterly lacking in substance vidual self-determination? Having lost forefront of conservative commentary. sight of these end-goals, commentary Smart people will come back to politics and reconsider who it is that speaks on and purpose. The right-wing especially, its behalf. The Quadrangle, circa 1880. The University of Sydney has seen the rise and fall of many governments The advantages of being a swinger OPINION We shouldn’t let lines on a map decide elections, writes John Gooding When I moved from the Blue Moun- of a Greens victory in the seat by sand people were to have strategically one Greens MP was elected out of one tains to Sydney, I re-enrolled from the instructing Liberal candidates to put the moved house from safe liberal seats to hundred and fifty, as their voters are not federal swing seat of Macquarie to the Greens below Labor on how-to-vote swing seats prior to the 2010 election, concentrated enough to outpoll Labor safe seat of Sydney. cards. Labor now appear to be a shoo-in we would now have a majority Coali- or the Liberals in the vast majority of At the 2010 election my former seat for the seat. Meanwhile, the Liberals are tion government. In some nations this seats. fell to the Liberals, who won by just over favourites to win Macquarie again, but absurd hypothetical is impossible. Israel, The representation of regional com- two thousand votes. I felt responsible on only just. for example, elects their major legisla- munities on a national level is undeni- a personal level, as though I had aban- Splitting the nation into one hundred tive body without any political districts ably important. However, any electoral doned my homeland to a terrible fate. and fifty electorates necessarily engen- at all. Citizens across the country face system which allows for the possibil- the same choice of candidates. The rele- Before this election I moved to ders feelings of irrelevance or disen- ity that one party to form government vance of your vote is entirely unaffected Grayndler, which was notionally a swing franchisement in safe seat-dwellers. without winning the popular vote, as is by where you live. seat between Labor and the Greens, and There are fewer campaigners and cam- currently possible in Australia, the U.S, somewhere my vote just might actually paign promises being bandied about. Electoral districts also skew the com- and most of Europe, is fundamentally matter. Queensland and Western Sydney are position of the House of Representa- undemocratic. If that were to happen, glorified, and we sit watching on. tives in favour of larger parties. Despite it would not be the people choosing the However, it was not to be; a few weeks winning around 11% of the primary winner; it would be lines on a map. ago Tony Abbott all but nixed a chance It also means we live in a bizarre political reality where, if a few thou- vote for their candidates in 2010, only

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“I won’t be rushing out to get my daughters vaccinated [for cervical cancer], maybe that’s because I’m a cruel, callow, callous, heartless bastard...” 7 news @honi_soit Australia First, minorities second PROFILE Max Weber interviewed Victor Waterson - the Australia First Party candidate for Bennelong Ryde, at Bennelong’s heart, was the years older. Wearing a bomber jacket Waterson is that, just as the White Aus- At the conclusion of the interview, third settlement founded in Australia, over a flannelette shirt and holding a tralia policy was economically based, so what strikes me most about Waterson is serving to link the colonies of Sydney bike helmet, he looks more a retired too are the AFP’s current ideals. When his lack of relevance. His sole credential and Parramatta. Bennelong has not shed tradesman than a budding politician. His I ask him if this isn’t counteracted by to the AFP is his Whiteness. He doesn’t this geographically emblematic centre accent is broad, almost to the point of charges of racism, he insists, “we can’t speak in terms of policies or political - the affluent north shore sits on one ocker stereotype, and his face is weather- take responsibility for the world’s ills”. terms, because the AFP doesn’t have shoulder, the working-class western bitten, with a nose crowded with burst The soundbites come thick and fast. policies. What sustains Waterson, and suburbs on the other. Culturally, too, it capillaries and a permanent squint. Without prompting, Waterson covers the slew of minor right-wing parties is an archetype of the median - almost He becomes more vigorous the lon- LGBTI rights (“it’s just about difference. founded on racial lines, is their ideology. stereotypically middle class, with its ger we talk. He gestures animatedly, It needs to be called something differ- Waterson wouldn’t know what to do if Federation-era Californian bungalows blinks owlishly and juts his chin confi- ent. Why does it even have to be called he did attain power – it suits him per- and professional families. Within a 5km marriage? Why do gay people have to be fectly to stand on the political edge and radius of Bennelong there is a university “The whole idea of called gay?”), women’s rights (“a woman gesture maniacally for attention. That and an IKEA, as if there are two more multiculturalism is about says ‘I don’t want to be raped’, but she question of journalistic integrity versus obvious markers of a middle class in one world government,” he actually puts herself in a position where moral integrity emerges – in pushing Australian society. him for answers, and controversial ones, continues, idly claiming as an it happens”) and Children Overboard But Bennelong is now also character- (“I believe there was a lot of truth in have I simply validated Waterson’s rant- ised by its diversity. In my high school aside that most refugees don’t it”). ings by giving him press? - a nondescript, middling one in Ryde - I have legitimate concerns for “I certainly hope that all the Chinese Because where Waterson and the AFP didn’t make friends with another kid of their safety in the first place. people that have adopted this coun- imagine huge, faceless threats, the rest Anglo descent until Year 9. According try are ready to kill their own people,” of us see potential friends and already- to the ABC, 19% of Bennelong’s vote dently. I imagine him holding court at Waterson asserts. “The whole idea of existing countrymen. I came away from is Chinese, another 4% is Korean. 5% the local, beer slopping down his shirt as multiculturalism is about one world gov- the interview feeling much less threat- is Armenian, another couple of percent he rants. He has ordered the big break- ernment,” he continues, idly claiming as ened by the presence of the AFP in my are of Indian or Sri Lankan descent. fast (“eggs well done, thanks!”) and for an aside that most refugees don’t have electorate. And the candidate himself? “What we’re seeing now is nothing a long while his body language and eat- legitimate concerns for their safety in Does he think he can grow his vote short of Chinese Imperialism; I think ing habits are the most interesting part the first place. from 0.85%? Well, he believes the AFP of this interview; he licks his fingers is erroneous in their data, and claims, that’s what people should be concerned His diatribe on the end game of aggressively rather than use a napkin, “in 2010 I got 2.7%”. He is wrong, of about. That’s why they call it the Asian multiculturalism ends up in a predict- he heaps sugars into his cappuccino. course, as the Australian Electoral Com- century,” declares Victor Waterson, ably absurd place, asking me if I could Waterson’s sweeping generalities and mission – and the thriving, diverse elec- the man who stood for One Nation in permit Papua New Guinean tribes- unaware fallacies quickly reduce any cre- torate of Bennelong – attests to. Bennelong in 2010, though this time men to practice cannibalism in Austra- dence he had. More frustrating though, around he’s running for the Australia lia, informing me that, had I fought in is his insistence that the AFP’s policies First Party (AFP), an anti-immigration WWII, “the Japanese would have cut This is an abridged version, the – a core one being the “abolishment of ticket founded by neo-Nazi Jim Saleam your head off like that!” (“Go and have entire profile can be found on www. multiculturalism” – are rooted in eco- in 1996. a look at the Australian soldiers that they honisoit.com nomic terms. The frequent refrain from Waterson is 48, but looks about ten cannibalised!”) Like father, like daughter? OPINION Matilda Surtees explores the dynamic between male politicians and their daughters as a vehicle for policy

Put "Tony Abbott’s" into Google and Morning Herald columnist declared, stated their support it may as well use autocomplete to sug- “Abbott unleashes his two weapons of for gay marriage. gest you search for his daughters first mass distraction.” The Daily Telegraph This stance might and second for his policies. It’s obvious echoed the tasteless metaphor, dubbing well be genuine, that both the public and media have a them Abbott’s “heavy artillery” in win- but even if they weird fascination with Abbott’s daugh- ning ‘the female vote’. weren’t, saying so is ters. With the election looming, Harp- The notion that Abbott having daugh- sharp and deliber- er’s Bazaar decided to feature Frances ters clears him of misogyny has been ate political strategy. and Bridget Abbott, the youngest of his parroted incessantly since Gillard’s ver- It gestures towards three daughters, in a fashion spread in bal flaming in October last year. The a future under an early August. It was an early indicator of glaring hole in this logic was quickly rec- Abbott government the media fixation that deepened after ognised: having daughters hardly makes where progressive the election date was named for Sep- a man incapable of misogyny. Frances legislation might be tember 7. and Bridget Abbott’s salience in the Lib- passed, quieting the “Frances and Bridget Abbott’s salience in the Liberal campaign is Since then, the duo have been fea- eral campaign is calculated to show that voter unease about calculated to show that Abbott doesn’t just have daughters but that tured or discussed across major newspa- Abbott doesn’t just have daughters but his anachronistic they are articulate, groomed, likeable women.” pers, media sources such as Mamamia, that they are articulate, groomed, like- ideas – but it’s all suggestion. Abbott ter are perhaps a hopeful attempt at get- television, and on radio Katy Perry told able women. It’s easy to be a misogynist doesn’t need to commit to any sort of ting the public to forget the rumours of Tony Abbott she wanted to meet them. and a father but harder to be a misogy- progressivism because his daughters are bad temper and difficult character that With deft depersonalisation, a Sydney nist and a good father – though, by no doing it for him. have plagued Rudd’s leadership. means impossible. In contrast, Jessica Rudd occupies a Yet, unlike Frances and Bridget Both women also appear to have been much smaller space in the current politi- Abbott, whose belief in marriage equal- raised to think independently and have cal arena. In fact, her Google autocom- ity became well-publicised, Jessica been vocal about their personal views in pletes include ‘is Jessica Rudd Kevin Rudd’s support for marriage equality the media. This is support masqueraded Rudd’s daughter?’. Unlike Abbott, there barely made ripples in the media. Rudd as dissent. Undoubtedly sanctioned by is no pressing imperative for Rudd to didn’t need it to; Abbott did. Rudd has campaign management, they are being use his daughter as political band-aid for many flaws, but so far none of them used to reassure voters that Abbott holes in his social policy. Jessica Rudd have required him to use his daughter as won’t impose his conservatism upon infrequently plays a part in trying to a temporary, and ultimately meaningless, the public. In contrast with their father, humanise her father; pictures of the two proxy. both Frances and Bridget Abbott have of them together with her young daugh-

8 “Abortion is the easy way out. It’s hardly surprising that people should choose the most convenient exit from awkward situations.” www.honisoit.com news Why whistleblowers aren’t saints OPINION Nina Hallas assesses the automatic heroism that has surrounded the whistleblower Edward Snowden. Chelsea Manning. pervasive government program, PRISM, highly problematic, given the frequent necessity of separation between Julian Julian Assange. Some of the most con- initiated by Bush in 2007 then further conflation of the individual, who is nec- Assange, the man, and the actions, repu- troversial and divisive figures of our propagated by Obama, the press was essarily fallible, with the actions or deeds tation and mission of Wikileaks, which time. Heroes or Traitors. Champions more preoccupied playing Where-In- they have come to represent. should stand independently of and to of truth and justice, or guilty of endan- The-World-Is-Snowden than unravel- The most outstanding example is him, because they are beyond him, as gering countless populations by aiding ling more leads to what promises to be Julian Assange who is utilising his high they are all our other whistle-blowers, the ‘enemy’. The debate has been had a the prequel to Nineteen-Eighty-Four. profile as a platform to run for the Aus- noble and brave though they may be. thousand times before, where the three PRISM became a footnote. A backstory tralian Senate, with some polls indicat- I appreciate there would be a natural whistle-blowers have become focal to explain the greater issue at hand- was ing he’ll get as high as 26% of the vote. curiosity about any person who funda- points in discussions centring how per- Snowden pissed off he didn’t get a pro- Defending him has required a certain mentally altered the standing order of vasive or transparent government opera- motion? Did his girlfriend know he was amount of cognitive dissonance from things, and I certainly don’t I wish to tions ought to be. leaving? those with traditional left values. It’s easy deny them from the acclaim and soli- With a new depth of foundation- Chelsea Manning, former US solider to endorse someone as a visionary ahead darity they deserve. The importance of shaking intelligence unveiled, the media who passed classified documents over to of their times, challenging The Powers solidarity cannot be understated. To take has a limitless fodder to examine and WikiLeaks, was the subject of great spec- That Be in an age of increasing opaque- on the full might of the US government, project implications, to demand answers, ulation about her preferred pronoun and ness. Mix in allegations of sexual assault despite its very dear personal costs, is an to challenge and hold our Stateswomen gender identification, some well inten- however, and the political line gets a little astoundingly heroic act- one that should and men to account. For the most part tioned, much of it homophobic and blurry. not go unsaid and uncelebrated. This is though, media attention has narrowed its transphobic. Speculation had reached While I understand the associated vital not only for the morale of the indi- scope to discovering hidden facts about such heights that up until very recently, complications of a Swedish Trial, disre- vidual, but for future generations of dis- The Real Person behind the leaks. The Manning’s support network issued a garding such severe accusations because sidents and whistle-blowers-in-waiting, inside scoop from a childhood friend, statement saying they did not want to of the potential effect it has on a political who could otherwise easily be put off by former employer or ex-lover. Their publically address the issue. Unsurpris- narrative is a very wanton precedent to the harsh deterrence measures enforced idiosyncrasies are magnified and thor- ingly, it wasn’t heeded: Was Manning a set indeed. I don’t think Assange should by the State. I would just hate for one of oughly examined. Their mental health is fall out consequence of the notorious be extradited to the US from Sweden, the most prevailing issues, that have the questioned. All in a bid, supposedly, to DADA (Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell) military which is a very real probability should transformative potential to shift the way understand their overriding motivations, queer policy? Is Manning mentally ill? he vacate the asylum of the Ecuadorian we view overarching power structures in which forms the prism though which What’s crystallised is a form of cult-of- Embassy. Yet equally, I don’t think it’s society, to be reduced to following the we view their actions and ultimately, the personality around them, the power of fair to deny those women from a sense personal trials and tribulations of a few information those actions unveiled. which is yielded both ways, as a central of justice or due process. To find a fea- people. Though it would be certainly When Edward Snowden, a former figure is as easy a target to rally behind sible solution is not easy and here, I’m convenient for those at the head of such contactor for the National Security in idolisation as they are in hatred or in sorry to say, I do not offer one. structures for us to be so distracted. Agency, leaked documents about the fear. In many respects, this has become What is clear, however, is the absolute Top 5 reasons why you shouldn't donkey vote TOP FIVE Michael Gemmell tells us why your vote matters in the upcoming election Hk 1. Extra Effort: Donkey voting could give away your vote to someone spoken about for years to come. Con- avoid the donkey. And when the coun- involves numbering candidates in order who isn’t worthy of any - not a single versely, this type of vote is conceived by try blows up next year, you can reserve in which they appear on the ticket. It’s one, zip. You could potentially endorse the major parties as - somewhat conde- the right to say, “I didn’t vote for them.” a valid vote and it counts. But assuming a candidate who thinks Islam is a nation scendingly - a protest vote. So if you’re 5. There’s Always One: Although you’re a rational agent, all this additional that threatens Australia’s security or you not of the disposition to act charitably, there may not appear to be much choice admin and arithmetic is time/money could reward those individuals who then this signal of dissent and angst this election, and although you may be wasted. Submitting a completed don- have continually bored you to death on appears to be a credible option as well. loathe to all major parties and candi- key far exceeds the mental and physical QandA (but keep appearing). If you 4. Relinquish Responsibility: There dates, there must be one policy or issue demands required to achieve your objec- want nothing else in this election but to is a lot to lose in politics, much more that stands out. There has to be some- tive (avoiding a fine). And think about keep these mules out, check first before than there is to gain. By submitting a thing that separates the vodka from all the other fun non-political things you ‘donkeying’. valid vote this election, you are involving the cranberry; however small, however could be doing instead. Just walk in, 3. Altruism: Directing your vote to and investing yourselves into this losing trivial in your mind. There may be no avoid infringement and pop your papers the respectable candidate that has abso- system. Therefore, if your donkey went easy options this election but the task in the designated bins (ballots) provided. lutely no hope of being elected. Make towards a winning candidate, you could certainly can be made easier. Whatever 2. Collateral Damage: By doing someone feel good, do your good deed be partially responsible for what hap- that one separating issue is - whatever the donkey you could end up tacitly for the day. You can be sure that your pens in this country for the next 3 years. appears brightest or least bleak - let that supporting a policy that isn’t worth the priceless gift will be appreciated and Could you live with that hanging over carrot be your guide. paper it’s written on. Worse still, you acknowledged, nurtured and cared for, your head? To avoid this responsibility,

“Mates help each other; they do not tax each other.” 9 culture @honi_soit What’s the problem with sex positivity? Shannen Potter gets critical about the prevailing popularity of sex positivity Sex positivity has an important place to claim that all sexual practices are Additionally, sex positivity appears to tive rights, domestic violence and pov- in feminism. In all the coverage of exempt from critical examination. Our be part of a wider imperative to make erty are difficult issues which cannot be Miley Cyrus’ VMAs performance, we sexual preferences, and how we fanta- feminism seem fun, sexy and attractive dealt with through women discovering saw its important role, in encourag- sise about and act on these preferences, to young people. Segments of the sex their sexualities. ing women to be active participants in are not formed in a vacuum. positive community subscribe to the This also raises questions about the their own sexuality, and in highlighting Our culture, which is deeply notion that sexy equals empowered role of intersectionality in sex positivity. the necessity of consent and in work- embedded with sexism, racism, and liberated, and believe that sex and By privileging sexual freedom, (white, ing to increase the acceptance of sex- homophobia, transphobia, classism, sexuality are a Band-Aid solution for a middle class) sex positive feminists can ual expression that isn’t heterosexual, ableism and rape culture, has a marked myriad of problems. erase the specific concerns and experi- vanilla, gender-binary-conforming and effect on the formation of our sexuali- ences of women of colour. Much of monogamous. But the Cyrus coverage ties. For example, in a world in which “Although we have the right to the sex positive commentary on Cyrus’ also showed us exactly what’s wrong Asian women are routinely depicted explore our sexuality, we do performance focussed on defending with sex positive feminism. sexually submissive in both pornogra- not have the right to claim that her against slut and body shaming, Sex positivity is problematic in a phy and popular culture, a man’s claim while ignoring her appropriation of number of ways, and these issues seem that he is “just attracted” to Asian all sexual practices are exempt Black culture for profit. to become more multitudinous as the women exclusively is not beyond fur- from critical examination.” It is possible to be both sex positive popularity of sex positive feminism ther investigation or criticism by virtue and to address serious concerns. In increases. Foremost, the attitude that of being related to sexuality. Unfortunately, the daily realities of some of feminism’s key battlegrounds, any and all sexual activities are ethi- While a sex neutral or critical position feminism are generally neither fun nor sex positivity has been a focal point for cal and healthy as long as consent is would encourage introspection on this sexy. Very real problems which women change. While sex positivity invests in involved is deeply problematic. and a number of other sexual issues, face require hard work to address, and the beliefs that feminism is fun, and Although we have the right to explore sex positivity positions the examination cannot be solved through sexy fun. that sex in itself in an agent of revolu- our sexuality, we do not have the right of sexual preferences as shaming. Things such as the wage gap, reproduc- tion, it will continue to be problematic.

Tweeting from the shadows TREATISE Hannah Ryan looks at how social media can bring sex workers into the public sphere “A bath and a glass of red cures all,” acting CEO of advocacy group the things are hugely important – just that is sensationalist. In a standard example, tweeted @SavannahStone_ last week. Scarlet Alliance, says that Twitter has changing and framing of language,” The Times in the UK reported in Janu- Trite, but relatable. Savannah is a Mel- been embraced by social media advo- Cox says. ary that children are “put at risk” as bourne woman whom I encountered cates: “the more that people actually The language and law are symp- “prostitutes use Facebook to sell their on Twitter when a retweet by a music hear opinions and voices from sex toms of the broader problem – that wares.” The usually liberal Gawker workers that are ordinarily not heard sex workers aren’t seen as real people. also reported on the phenomenon in the better,” she says, and that’s Twitter’s Here Twitter accommodates more than language that recalled a plague: “Pros- allure. Cameron Cox was a law student explicit activism. Sex workers like Stone titutes All Over Twitter, Naturally”. at USYD when he started working at combat the dominant discourse by This is consistent with Stone’s view on a heterosexual BDSM house whenever the pure ordinariness of their tweets. what everyday people think about her they needed a male. Thirty years later On August 30, she wrote: “Off to see job: “From the negativity I have expe- he’s a full-time sex worker and activist, Cyndi Lauper tonight. She’s playing one rienced, it just seems the general popu- tweeting at @CamCoxSyd. The advan- of my fav albums from my childhood. lation have a general distain of disgust tages of Twitter, he argues, are the Yup, #mega80sdork”. Merely by tweet- and sadness for a world they know immediate access to prominent figures ing about day-to-day subjects (admin absolutely nothing about.” festival’s account made me think we days, weather, love of tea, music), Stone It’s possible to be sceptical of had similar taste in music. Her Twitter undermines the image of the ‘prosti- accounts like Stone’s. Is it just a canny bio describes her as a “nerd”, so we had tute’ as someone who is defined solely way of marketing herself as a ‘normal’ that in common as well. The similarities and the development of a virtual com- by their profession, whose activities girl, just the way she can pretend to be end there: she likes the gym, she’s going munity of sex workers. He opposes the are secretive or illicit, and who is there your girlfriend when you purchase her by a fake name, her display picture is a criminalisation of sex work in states like just for sexual pleasure. Her work isn’t Dinner Date Special (for $1200)? None bare bottom, and she’s a sex worker. South Australia and is concerned about whitewashed from her feed: she often of her followers are friends or family. “I Sex workers have had PR problems language, especially the use of the word tweets topless pictures, and she recently like to keep that separate even though for at least the last few centuries. Their ‘prostitute’. “It’s laden with values that described her first experience squirting. they know what I do,” she says, and “I occupation is a metaphor for shame; don’t describe what we do or emphasise But references to sex and work trips are don’t fill my personal friends feeds up often criminalised, always stigmatised. the fact that it’s work,” he says. weaved easily into a broader patchwork with naked self photos.” The nature of The media use ‘prostitutes’ as a juicy of experiences. her work means that most of the peo- hook to spice up a melodrama, to add It is saddening that other social media ple she interacts with are either poten- intrigue to a plot already involving platforms have sought to exclude sex tial clients or other sex workers: the crime, money or sex. Take the Austra- workers and that the media has reacted segregation of real life is imitated on lian article of last week: ‘Killer of Mel- To illustrate the real outcomes Twit- to their social media presence with fear Twitter. But Stone denies that she has bourne prostitute Johanna ‘Jazzy’ O’ ter activism can lead to, Cox cites the or something like it. Facebook removes manufactured a persona, describing it Martin jailed for at least 20 years’. Or example of a well-known presenter pages that appear to offer sexual ser- as a “spot on representation of the real this stunner from the Herald on July on the ABC who used the word ‘pros- vices. LinkedIn also forbids the adver- me”, and to any e-passer-by she would 31: ‘ICAC Macdonald and a prostitute titute’. “It happened to be on a Mon- tising of illegal activities and relied on seem genuinely funny and intelligent. called Tiffanie: ICAC finds former day night when most sex workers are this to shut down sex workers’ profiles. “As much as there are sleazy people minister acted corruptly’. These aren’t tweeting about Q&A so there were But, Kim says, when it was brought on Twitter who probably jerk off to unusual, and are emblematic of sex loads online,” he explains. “[The pre- to the site’s attention that sex work my nudey self pics, there are also really workers’ status as exotic social pariahs. senter] was basically Twitter-bombed is decriminalised in places like NSW, lovely people who genuinely care to Sex workers’ own voices are silenced in by sex workers who explained why he LinkedIn put in a caveat to their policy, check in to see how I am doing,” she the media, and our collective imagina- shouldn’t use that word. We explained banning “illegal activity or sex work”. says. “I really never imagined the sex tion fills in the gaps. to him that we considered it hate And when sex workers slip through industry would be as ‘normal’ as it is.” speech.” He eventually agreed, and his Social media, particularly Twitter, are the cracks and make it onto social Cox agrees. “It’s fairly ordinary. And program hasn’t used the word ‘pros- proving to be useful tools in fighting media, the mainstream media finds out it’s work.” this silencing and stigma. Jules Kim, titute’ since. “For us, those sorts of

10 “WorkChoices is dead, it’s buried, it’s cremated.” www.honisoit.com culture Taking a microscope to the microparties Don’t blame Harry Stratton, he voted for Kodos Everyone loves voting for an old- tificate? tered AEC officers, and all are linked Nation, then claimed it was an adminis- fashioned joke ticket – it’s why Free Who you’re really voting for: One to mysterious “preference whisperer” trative error, then admitted they’d done Parking has topped the SRC poll every Nation. Glenn Druerry, leading to suspicion it but only in Victoria. The Sex Party year it’s run. that they’re running solely to funnel also preferenced One Nation, but were SENATOR ONLINE: Direct votes to Pauline. much less sneaky about it. You pays In the Senate, it also means that some- democracy advocates who claim their your money and you takes your choice. times your vote counts in ways that you votes will be guided by online polls. SOCIALIST ALLIANCE and the didn’t intend or expect because putting In fact, their party’s constitution only SOCIALIST EQUALITY PARTY: THE CRAZY CHRISTIANS: a “1” above the line for your party of binds their votes to poll results when Trotskyist vanguard parties that hate This election, Rise Up Australia join choice gives that party the complete dis- a 70% majority of 100,000 voters is each other more than the Liberals. Just the Christian Democrats, Pentecostal- cretion to allocate your preferences. reached, ie never, so they’ll probably why has never been quite clear. ist Family First, and the ultra-Catholic Most often, this weird quirk results vote how they like. What to say: The Judean People’s Democratic Labor Party. All of them hate gay marriage and abortion; Rise in preferences flowing back to a major What to say: If these guys get in our Front couldn’t get their nominations in Up Australia and the CDP also aren’t party; but in 2013 it’s taken a more sinis- national anthem will soon be the Nyan on time. too keen on Muslims or anyone who ter turn, as literally dozens of micropar- cat song. Who you’re really voting for: Alli- looks a bit too brown. Family First gave ties with attractive-sounding names ance preference every other party from Who you’re really voting for: One us Stephen Fielding in 2007, and the have joined together in a bloc directing left to right; the SEP insists all three Nation. DLP apparently have a Senator at the their preferences to One Nation. major parties are equally bourgeois and THE LIBERTARIAN RIGHT: moment but he keeps pretty quiet. The only way to guarantee your pref- splits its preferences between them. The Liberal Democrats; the No Car- erences are responsibly allocated is to What to say: Historically, Victoria’s bon Tax Climate Sceptics; the Republi- THE SEX PARTY and fill out all 110 squares below the line voters have a lot to answer for. can Party; Australian Voice; the Fishing WIKILEAKS PARTY: Both claim to or to vote for a party you recognise; so Who you’re really voting for: One and Lifestyle Party; Building Austra- be centre-left libertarian parties; both here’s Honi’s Guide to the Microparties Nation. lia; Stop the Greens; Smokers’ Rights; seem to have been hijacked by a Ron in this election, or, how you can avoid the Stable Population Party; the Non- Paul-style fringe, leading to pro-busi- At first glance, your Senate ballot being that dickhead who accidentally Custodial Parents’ Party; the Australian ness policies and the mass resignation paper appears to contain a multitude votes for Pauline Hanson. Motoring Enthusiasts’ party; possibly of left-leaning members. of choices. In fact, because your prefer- TREATISE AUSTRALIA FIRST: White Free Ice-Cream for SRC. What to say: One of these par- ences have to be allocated somewhere, supremacists led by a non-white leader you really only have two, or three if you What to say: Wait, what? ties mops up the creepy internet porn Jim Saleam who angrily insists that he’s viewer vote; the other is led by one. count Pauline. Since your vote ends up Greek despite strong evidence to sug- Who you’re really voting for: One in the hands of a major party in the Where your vote ends up: Wikileaks gest his family’s actually from Syria. Nation. A large number of these par- end, you might as well be the one to ties have shared candidates and regis- denied they were preferencing One What to say: Where’s the birth cer- decide which.

Death to industrial capitalism FIRST PERSON Jobs interviews vary from the cult-ish to the traumatic, says Anonymous

Before I went on exchange a few the interrogation by warning me that tion, about how groundbreaking it is. in a short time. I carried on to the next years ago, I blew through most of my if I quit before a year, he’d lose his My contribution: “it’s pretty and you stage, the quiz. I breezed through the loan and grant, and forgot to apply for bonus and he’d “get me”. I withdrew get to wear T-shirts at work.” By the logic puzzles, and solved the maths the scholarship I set out to receive. So, I my application. time we were being clapped out, after problems with ease. decided to apply for a job, but, like any Earlier, I had applied for a job at simulating examples of ‘good customer But then came the personality quiz. It young person, I knew this would be a Apple as a Specialist. I arrived at the experience’ under the constant surveil- started with a few simple questions: do difficult feat. It’s difficult to get a dig- Hilton Hotel where the session was lance and smiles of the interviewers, I you like x, how do you feel about y, etc. nified job without experience, because held; I wore a T-shirt and jeans, as the knew I couldn’t build the energy to get The questions kept coming like rapid how do you get experience without a invitation said: “Dress casual, no need this job. fire, but took a disturbing turn. dignified job? for a suit!” I milled around with some But this was only the second least “Were you ever beaten as a child?” My dad told me to ask my neighbours others, signed a confidentiality agree- traumatic job interview I’ve ever had. “Do you hate your parents?” if I could mow their lawns or help out ment (hence: anonymous), and waited. My brother-in-law proposed a cushy, “Have you ever hurt yourself?” in the garden; I dutifully reminded him The doors burst open, and two lines public servant job at Australia Post. I that he’s held the same job for the past of Apple employees created a tunnel got a call back, and a few days later was “Do you hear voices?” thirty years, and before that he milled for us, clapping us as we entered a large on my way to their HQ, situated in a “Have you ever felt like killing any- around on the farm in a feudalist Ban- room. I saw how nervous everyone was gigantic building in Strawberry Hills. one?” gladeshi village, and as such had no real in their excitement. I knew Apple was The interview was fine. I was confi- Deeply personal questions, rang- knowledge of youth unemployment in a brand that created cult-like behav- dent, but lost my nerve when I knew ing from self-abuse to sexual fantasies an advanced capitalist society. The most iour, but I thought this was only in I wasn’t going to be around Australia to mental illnesses to brutalised child- terrifying thought of work was not the their consumers. After the interview, hoods, flew at me as I instinctively con- work-study-alcohol balance, but the job it became apparent it was an aspect of tinued to press ‘no’, visions of imagined interview. their workplace culture. and hypothetical traumas building until I sat through the heat as I awkwardly After some more clapping, we sat they felt vivid and real, and I began to wore a suit, gladly utilising the glasses around and watched videos of Apple question whether these things had hap- of free water and abundant jugs of fur- employees all around the world, stand- pened to me. ther free water. I always conceded that I ing in front of Apple stores, clapping. I left the interview shaken. I did not wasn’t going to be around longer than Then we were asked about why we love get the job, I assume due to my avail- a month or so. The worst was after a Apple so much. People clamoured: “it abilities as opposed to some camera Coles interview: after a group interview changed my life!”, “it revolutionised my that filmed my bodily reaction to being about the values of Coles (read: capi- life!” Afterwards, we had to talk about psychologically probed by Australia talism), I was set up with a one-on-one our favourite things about Apple; I Post. with a burly, disgruntled Coles manager, heard tired slogans, about industrial I asked my parents for money. unaware of our interview, who finished design, about Steve Jobs and innova-

“We have to get this straight: euthanasia is not about the right to die; it is about the right to kill.” 11 ARTS & CULTURE

The more, the merrier Anonymous slept with three other people. Simultaneously. Like all good orgies, it started with a Spurred on by unspoken, yet viscerally any ambitions other than fucking met a lust. As the sex progressed, we switched drinking game. palpable, sexual tension, we tentatively necessary end. Our minds were fuzzy couples less frequently, sharing increas- “Kings Cup?” somebody suggested, agreed to this rule: take off an item of with whisky, but not too fuzzy to alto- ingly intense moments with one another as we sat around our candlelit dining clothing every time you draw a card that gether disregard consent, so a brief con- until we were actually making each other table, working steadily towards the bot- is a prime number. versation took place: come. tom of a large bottle of whisky. Excluding the ace and royal cards, Were we all comfortable with doing Cunts, curves and lips abounded, and “Sounds good,” I said. It was early in that’s a lot of numbers: two, three, five this? (Yes.) Did the couple involved hands explored freely; as we discovered the evening, and although none of us and seven. want to talk about it before it happened? post-foursome, deeply secret desires knew what lay ahead, there was, even From the outset, it was clear that ev- (They already had, they wanted it.) Was were being acted on for the first time. then, an unmistakable air of anticipation erybody in the room was a little too everybody sure? (Yes.) I awoke the next morning, alone in in the room. into this rule, with the slow shedding And so it began. my own bed, thoroughly confused over For reasons unknown to all but the of clothes proving tantalizing to the ex- Although the cheap Ikea double bed whether or not it had been a dream. I most drunken minds, we migrated to the treme. We pretended to be thankful for was reasonably crowded, it was not the obtained my confirmation when I ven- carpeted floor, taking with us the whisky our socks, watches and singlets, but in awkward entanglement of limbs I might tured out into the living room. and a selection of candles. I fetched a actual fact, we wanted them off — and have envisaged prior to actually partak- Piles of clothes occupied the very deck of cards, and we began to play. fast. ing in a foursome. In fact, the most sur- spots the four of us had occupied ten Kings Cup is a disgusting game that Before too long we all sat, fully na- prising part of the entire affair was that or so hours earlier. Littered on the floor pairs the drawing of cards with exces- ked, on the floor of the living room. it was not awkward at all. was the empty bottle of whisky, toppled sive drinking. It requires the mixing of Somebody made an excuse to move to a For the most part, we divided into onto its side, beside the burnt-out can- everybody’s various liquids in a central bedroom under the pretense of it being couples, initially switching between dles. cup, to be consumed by whoever is un- warmer in there, and we abandoned the them every couple of minutes. It was a sobering scene, but surpris- fortunate enough to draw the King card. game before it had ended, leaving the I was overcome with the confusing ingly, one that invoked neither awkward- A rule is set for each card, and rules can half-full King’s Cup on the floor. combination of genuine passion for the ness nor regret. It was my first foursome, also be invented throughout the game. At this point, the pretense that we had people I was fucking and alcohol-fuelled but I hope it won’t be my last.

Photo: Nina Ubaldi and Xiaoran Shi www.honisoit.com culture Funeral etiquette 101 ADVICE Blythe S Worthy explains the social niceties of ritualised grieving Please. Please. have been this week or the self-discovery the church clutching each other and Also wake food is usually a combina- Don’t take this the wrong way. you made when you were volunteering in weeping. tion of 90’s school lunch and 70’s kitsch At least once in your life you will at- Liberia last Summer. All they want is for They rush to your parents and console dinner party style food. Which is deli- tend the funeral of someone you are you to stay in your category as assigned them, and they cry and hold each other. cious and amazing and usually involves familiarly obliged to recognise is dead to you by the family. And here’s how you You must then head over and rub either a creamed salad or little things on and you won’t really want to go. There’s do it. their shoulders reassuringly, pulling a sticks. this unspoken rule that everyone has to The Funeral painful facial expression I like to call the As soon as you arrive find a cousin or be nice to each other at family funer- There’s a weird hush in the morning ‘fromile’ (a noxious combination of the distant relative who either a) disgraced als. You all have to get along like your of a funeral. Everyone is bustling around frown/smile, paired with your head be- the family b) is out of the closet c) has mum wishes you would at Christmas. trying to gather the under-fives togeth- ing slightly tilted to the right) when they a successful career that no one else ap- You might be sad, and if they were su- er, hastily applying makeup and shining come at you for an embrace. proves of and sit and talk to them for per old you might be grateful their suf- shoes. Australian males tend to go for Your brother’s ex-girlfriend will be the entire wake. fering is at an end. If you didn’t know the ‘collared shirt and short sleeves not there and you have to be nice to her, This is really important. You absolute- them that well then you’ll be thinking tucked into loose-fitting business pants even though he told you she used to se- ly should not move. Stay the hell away of those you do who are grieving. Ei- and horrid semi-pointed shoes’ for their cretly question your choice of hairstyle from the aunts and uncles who like to ther way, you will have to go. funeral attire, with the girls in my extend- when they were together. talk about their kids and do not talk to It’s a big deal for everyone involved ed family opting for the ‘I bought this I hate to be honest but this will proba- your parents. and if your parents need you then you cute mini at Dangerfield and it’ll double bly go on for about 30-45 minutes, right You are a sassy, independent young should be there. I’ve attended six family as a funeral dress if I wear a shirt under- outside the church or funeral home, as person and you are doing what grown- funerals in the last five years and after neath’ look. people peel off with various bunches of ups call mingling. the last one my mum congratulated me Fat Holdens crowd into the funeral flowers and potted plants they nabbed This way you can observe others with on the great job I’d done. ground’s car park. from the funeral. At long last your par- your chosen ‘black sheep’ of the family, I’d represented the family well. I’d Though you probably knew and loved ent will turn around and accept your which is the only way to do it. rustled no feathers and stirred no pots the deceased, milling with the few of hand, allowing you to pull them to the When you’ve chosen your teen-mum – all the while constructing an intricate your extended family who have shown car, where you drive them (still weeping) cousin, your gay uncle or your app-de- web of half-truths in order to lead my up will still feel stiff, uncomfortable and to the wake. veloping brother-in-law then you should relatives off the scent-trail of honesty formal. Then the doors open and you’re The Wake only talk to them about their thing that we’re all tempted to take when interact- all herded in. Wakes are tricky. It’s tacky to eat too defines them for the rest of the- after ing with your kinsmen. The ceremony drags on. You’ll hear much at a wake, but okay to take Tupper- noon because if you don’t you’ll end up Here’s what you need to understand: people wheezing and gasping around you ware full of leftovers home after be- accidentally telling your judgmental aunt No one needs to know you’re staving and wonder why you’re not getting emo- cause, let’s face it, the fridge is crammed about the time you snorted coke off a off a hangover. No one is interested tional. full of I-made-this-so-you-don’t-have- drag queen’s dick or when you woke up in whether or not those marks on your Try to look really sad. Stonyface won’t to-cook ‘grief casseroles’ already. in a bathroom covered in blood and no neck are bruises or hickeys. They don’t fly here. This is also a plus because if you’re one wants that to be family knowledge. care about how shit your tips at work You begin by noticing a clump of rela- like me and you live out of home, free No one. tives or family friends staggering out of food is awesome.

Photo: Stella Ktenas “What the housewives of Australia need to understand as they do the ironing …” 13 culture @honi_soit

Going to North Korea for 15 Minutes FIRST PERSON North Korea’s a pretty odd place, writes Nick Gowland North Korea has been open to West- before we cross the bridge over the river accompanied by an armed US soldier. marking the border. Our side of the ern visitors for more than twenty years Imjin, which marks the southernmost “The eagle has left the nest,” he pro- courtyard is covered in gravel, the other now, but even a two day trip to Pyong- boundary of the DMZ. A South Korean claims as we head up a road through in sand. Freedom House is mirrored yang will set you back over $1000, and soldier boards the bus and checks every- the landmine-studded woods. Then, as on the other side by Panmun-guk, a must be organised at least a month in one’s passports. He’s incredibly young we round a corner and North Korea concrete building from the conspicu- advance. In January I opted for the (South Korean youth must undertake comes into view for the first time, the ous magnificence school of communist cheaper and more popular tour to the compulsory military service), but a large most amazing thing happens: golden architecture. Security cameras spike its abandoned border village of Panmun- rifle is strapped to his back. Our bus is beams of sunlight break through the surface, and a lone North Korean sol- jom. For $80 the tour takes you into given permission to cross, and we begin heavy clouds. In North Korea, every- dier stands by its diminutive doors, a the Joint Security Area (JSA) contained weaving between the spiked yellow bar- thing is sunny all the time always. pair of binoculars glued resolutely to within Panmunjom. Here you will find rels littered across the road. On the At the base of the hills our tour his eyeballs, surveying us for any sign the only portion of the Korean Demili- other side a cheery blue sign welcomes guide points out the world’s third tall- of Western insolence. tarised Zone (DMZ) where armistice us to the JSA and Camp Bonifas. est flagpole towering above the vil- It’s our lucky day; no North Koreans negotiations are conducted, and where The camp, only 500 metres south of lage of Kijong-dond, widely referred have beaten us to the Military Armi- troops from the North and South stand the border, looks like a leafy high school, to as ‘The Propaganda Village’ for stice Control conference room, so we close enough to trade icy glares and the only with mortar drills on the baseball its hollow tower blocks built to cre- file into the middle of the three blue occasional pot-shot. field. A US Army Captain tells us that ate the impression of prosperity. Such huts, where we stay for fifteen minutes. My trip begins innocuously enough. after arriving at the border, we should heavy-handed image manipulation It’s just a wooden hut with a conference A few American couples and I board not point or wave; North Korean sol- is typical in the DMZ: on the south desk, occupied by two South Korean the bus, plus a diminutive grandma of a diers have been known to take photos side we get Freedom Road, Freedom soldiers in oversized helmets who are South Korean tour guide who speaks in of tourists to use in propaganda pieces village (where South Korean farmers happy to pose for photos. I’m over- rehearsed bursts: “Today is a sad tour, on Western spies. We will only be able to require an armed guard during har- whelmed by that disappointment com- not a happy tour. Later we are joined by cross the Military Demarcation Line and vests to prevent kidnappings), and 50 mon at sites of historical significance a real soldier with a gun with bullets in enter the North’s territory while inside metres south of the border is Freedom – everything seems a little too small for it. Sit back and enjoy!” the conference room straddling the bor- House – a nondescript military build- what it represents. As the bus winds slowly northwards der, but we’re not guaranteed entrance ing used by ambassadors to prepare I’d come on this tour hoping to find out of Seoul the concrete apartment today because a North Korean tour- for armistice talks. On the other side a slice of the North Korea of Team blocks give way to icy rice paddies and ist group might get there first. Before of a marble hall we pass through glass America and sloppy VICE documenta- riverbanks lined with barbed wire and we leave, our tour guide makes us sign double-doors and finally behold the ries. Instead I found the quiet absurdity sentry posts. We pass open-topped a waiver – it’s horribly misspelled, but border. of armed conflict – a stagnant reminder trucks full of steamy-breathed sol- the general gist is that I acknowledge I It’s a large courtyard containing that military might, diplomacy and ide- diers, and go through tunnels lined with will be entering a hostile area, and I will the three parallel blue huts used for ology can fail us and all that we’ll be dynamite, designed to collapse and buy not rely on the US nor the Republic armistice conferences. A series of left with is a country that does not glow precious minutes in a North Korean of Korea for my safety in the event of white pickets known as the Military in night-time satellite imagery because tank advance. enemy action. Demarcation Line runs left to right they can’t afford to turn the lights on. The first security checkpoint comes We board a bulletproof military bus and through the middle of the huts, Student politics is just a circle jerk OPINION Adam Disney stands up to use his voice How long, O Lord, how long? Elec- and unworkably specific (every lecture shirts, and get to planning for the next oily of nouns, but the sad fact is that tion days are here again and once more recorded!). election in a few months time. It’s all a except for a few wackos (read: ideal- my lawns will be littered with greasy But that’s politics, my friend! Perhaps, bit of fun really, a great way for Arts ists) these elections are about laying the pimps looking for the feathered nest. but what we’ve got here is not politics. students to meet Law students while groundwork and getting your name on Normally my instinct would be to It’s more of a political recreation society. really making a difference. Remember the political scene. Look around our accept this bi-annual nonsense as one Any student of second year or higher guys – drinks afterwards! green lawns and sleepy lecture theatres of the necessary evils of fostering a – these are the birthing pools of the vibrant and competitive democratic Hockeys and Abbotts, the spawning culture, that our best and brightest may grounds of the Gillards and Albaneses walk tall and live free etc etc. Normally (Albanesii?). Glance at a list of former – but no longer. It’s my fourth time SRC presidents and you’ll see that these round and I’m tired of this shit. are the stepping stones, the first rungs Let’s dispense with my weak point: on the political ladder. If you can attach nothing changes. Yes, this is a gross sim- yourself to the right campaigns – on plification, but ask any fourth year if the grounds of ‘helping out a mate’, their student experience has markedly of course – or even get elected, then changed and they’ll struggle to come maybe one day your grizzled features up with anything of substance save will haunt the halls of power while that there are more strikes, and Fisher student papers mock the utterances of is prettier and less space-efficient. Well your fresh faced former self. then we need change, a new guard; an The horror, the horror! Yes, it’s a grim SRC by the students for the students! Oh scenario, but it’s also a chance for some yeah, what a rabble-rouser! Sounds like Hacks throughout the ages bud-nipping, to stop the nonsense you’ve been reading a little tome called will have noticed that the same faces Indeed, intermingling is the name early. I’m not completely jaded. Things do Every Flyer Ever Handed Out By Every seem to keep turning up on the Eastern of the game, and it is this that proves indeed change on campus, not always Student Politician Ever (Random House). Avenue beggar’s row for semester after most objectionable about the whole through sexy decade-retrospective-style No one buys it, but there’s a new edi- semester. Wasn’t she running for USU board enterprise. Don’t get me wrong; sit-ins but instead through painstaking tion printed every year. Each election, last year? Is that the ‘wham for Sam’ guy? The despite my misanthropic bent and per- ‘I-second-the-motion’-ism. My point is we get the same mix of Young Libs, different camps skip their lectures to manent scowl, I’m not averse to some that if we tolerate buzzwords and rung- Laborites and out-and-out progressives, mingle and chat, and one cannot shake good-old-fashioned interaction. But hopping in our future leaders, how can and the same blend of promises both the suspicion that after the votes are this – this is about contacts. Yes, you are we expect different from the leaders maddeningly bland (working for you!) all counted they will shake hands, swap right to recoil in horror at that most they become?

14 “The climate change argument is absolute crap.” www.honisoit.com culture A BIRTHDAY PARTY, AND WE’RE ALL INVITED PREVIEW Avani Dias looks back on FBi radio’s 10 years “It’s not necessarily male or female, it ing was about to be beaten by John doesn’t necessarily look like anything in Howard, Anna Wood passed away after particular, but it’s got a particular atti- taking ecstacy at a rave which sparked tude.” It sounds a little cheesy, but for the debate surrounding illicit drugs and Dan Zilber, the General Manager of rave culture, and ‘Waterfalls’ by TLC Music at FBi Radio, programming the hit number 4 on the Australian charts. music for Sydney’s youth radio station Meanwhile, FBi began test broadcast- for the past decade was easier when he ing as an ‘aspirant broadcaster’ in the could envisage it as a person. “I think it’s pursuit of a permanent, community a really dedicated, passionate, authentic, radio license. A caravan on the beach in enthusiastic van of culture and creativ- Bondi, a room above the Marly in New- ity… it’s important to support what town, and above a Chinese restaurant on the station, if it were a person, would George Street, were some of the spaces enjoy.” This Sunday, FBi Radio is cel- that the team would broadcast from ebrating ten years of broadcasting with during those years. They would pop a gig expected to draw over 8000 fans up for a few months at a time, pack up We were just these three dorks with same place… the internet can’t do that and featuring 35 acts. The concert will and then another aspirant station would computers and I think it was a blessing because it relies on people seeking out feature some of the greatest local and fill that place. In 2002, it was granted in disguise because it made us stand out things, it’s not just an active member of international talent – playing as a thank the biggest community broadcasting a little bit,” said Hassell. the community.” you to the station for all they have done. footprint ever offered, and permanent broadcasting began in August 2003. But as government cuts to community Both Seekae and FISHING are on the FBi’s existence was transient before it radio continue to increase, and technol- lineup for Sunday. Zilber and the rest of found its current 94.5 home. The for- For a number of local artists, it has ogy rapidly develops, the future for FBi the team have been lucky to survive on mative years began in 1995: Paul Keat- catapulted their careers into the cen- is difficult to gauge. Sydney two-piece, the generosity of the bands and artists tre of the music industry. The early FISHING, came into the electronic who have waived all their usual fees for demos of the likes of Tame Impala, scene at a time when people were able the fundraiser gig, and Carriageworks Sarah Blasko, Flume and The Presets to create music in the comfort of their who allowed to host the event for free. lie in the dusty depths of the music own homes and release it online within FBI is not a cheap operation, and just library at the station. John Hassell is a a day. The beats scene in Sydney has 5% of the station’s funding comes from part of one of the most prolific, elec- flourished as a result of this but Russell the government. The rest comes from tronic bands in Sydney, Seekae. He says Fitzgibbon, one half of the band, thinks the station’s sponsors and individual that FBi was integral to their success as that they owe their initial success to the supporters that can pay $5, $10, or $15 a a band: “They were the one station that colliding of two mediums of publish- month to help keep the station alive. To were happy to play our kind of music at ing, “We began at the same time as that say FBi rides on the back of the com- that time and were open to anything.” intersection of the blog and local scene. munity is an incredibly apt statement. The band appeared on the music scene There were some really nice blogs com- For Hassell, FBi is all about the music: in 2006 at a time when electronic music, ing out of Sydney… giving our music accompanied by computer-assisted “they’re just…supporting an artistic to FBi at the same time was a really nice community as much as they can – purely OPINION performances, was only just beginning way of pulling it all together.” He sug- to flourish internationally. “The only out of the love of art and music, noth- gested that FBi provides the locality that ing else.” shows we happened to get [at the start] the internet can never produce, “It’s all were with rock bands and bands that about making connections between just had guitars and keyboards on stage. 1995, the happier times: Lisa Left Eye was people who live and make music in the still alive, and FBI was born. ANALYSIS

sceptical about the relationship between print and student journalism. “I don’t Justin Pen investigates the state of print media on campus think [it’s] a product of the medium,” The figures are in and print is dying. Editor Lucy Watson approximates it with you… [to] social settings” where she tells me, “I think it’s a product of A report from the Audited Media Asso- about 3000-3500 are picked up each issues and ideas can be more readily dis- students’ interest in their environment ciation of Australia, which canvassed week, though she notes that is a “con- cussed. and in each other.” national newspaper sales over the June servative estimate.” Their website, by Like clockwork, copies and copies of There is, also, political value in print. quarter, revealed plummeting figures comparison, receives between 4500 Honi are churned out each week; the Fellow Honi editor Rafi Alam contends across the board. The Sydney Morning and 5000 views over the same period. USU’s Bull, each month; and The Sydney that print journalism is traditionally Herald’s Monday to Friday sales fell by Its tentacles are extensive. Only 65% Globalist, twice per year: as a campus, deployed by the mainstream press as 17%. Weekday sales of The Daily Tele- of readers are based in Sydney; Watson we’re drawn to print. Perhaps it’s the a form of “propaganda” meted out graph stared down a double-digit drop informs me that the website attracts same nostalgia that lured us all to the through “sensationalist covers.” Student of 11.2%. The Australian took a hit of more traffic from New York and Lon- sandstone. Watson recalls the excite- journalism, however, has “the reverse 9.8%. don than it does from Hobart. ment that followed her first published effect…it’s alternative journalism with- The periodicals that litter our lec- Rebecca Dang, editor-in-chief of piece and recounts the minutiae of out having to go online to seek out ture theatres and neatly-trimmed lawns The Sydney Globalist, a bi-annual foreign picking up her copy, taking it home and alternative news.” remain insulated from the pressures affairs journal, suggests print has a “per- showing her family. “I can’t put it into I ended our interview by going off- facing the rest of the print world – in sonal, even social, character.” Available words,” she says. script. I ask Watson if she believes digi- part because sales, and profits, aren’t on-campus and online, Dang highlights Digital media has its own champions tal media will one day totally eclipse and necessary endeavours. So why then, on the unique intimacy that physical medi- too. Bull Editor Eleanor Gordon-Smith replace inky student newspapers. Her a campus of laptops and tablets and ums hold: “you can annotate it, draw on believes that “student media needs cheer dampens, “I hope not,” she says. smartphones, teeming with digital liter- it, and more importantly, you can take online outlets.” Gordon-Smith remains And neither do I. ates, do we keep pulping our forests and sating landfill? Honi Soit prints 4000 copies a week.

(On climate change)“Yeah look I never said it was a myth.” 15 culture @honi_soit on the eighth day, god created arts revue

Sean O’Grady saw the face of God, at the York Theatre Ellen O’Brien would’ve enjoyed it more with a bottle of wine in her bag Directors Cihan Saral and Jack Gow who leaves the audience in stitches as In comedy, they say that timing is ev- en the nature of the beast (and skit com- set about “creating a show free of some she repeatedly circles the stage on her erything. Unfortunately, Arts students edy in general), it is perhaps incredibly of the more formulaic approaches to trike. The silence is punctuated only by aren’t known to have the best sense naïve for the audience to expect overly Revues”. as the show commences with the squeaking of her bike and the gales of time (management). I turned up to intelligent humour from a revue. Never- God’s (Jack Gow) nasal twang reciting a of laughter coming from the audience. the final night of the Arts Revue with theless, several scenes managed to pair slightly altered version of the Christian Whilst the show had its flaws, if you rock-bottom expectations, regretting crudeness with wit, including a sequined Creation myth, the audience wonders came to Arts Revue wanting an absurd, that I hadn’t had a few drinks before- Hannibal Lecter crooning about his fa- what the creators of On the Eighth Day, awkward and at times alienating series hand to ease the tension. Luckily for this vourite hobby to the tune of Mambo God Created the Arts Revue (and flightless of sketches, you were not disappointed. sober reviewer, the production by the Number 5, and a video sketch involving birds) have in store for them. The massive York Theatre was, more so-called “laziest students on campus” the untimely microwave ending of the From the outset it is clear that long often than not, filled by the sound of a was somewhat of a surprise. With a cast protagonist of “Pop Goes the Weasel”. favoured revue tropes have given way laughing and cheering audience. made up of several SUDS members, the Speaking of video segments, the di- for a set of characters that are often majority of the skits struck the perfect rectors’ (Jack Gow and Cihan Saral) dark and always awkward. If you had balance between squeamishly awkward idea of incorporating short pre-filmed not ventured out for a night of black and gaspingly hilarious. scenes into the stage production was a comedy and elongated silences, then Disappointingly, the sketches met with veritable success, breaking up the often you might have been disappointed. the biggest laughs of the night were long-winded on-stage work and allow- bordering on crass. While hilarity can ing for more believable sets and props. The opening half of the show struggles indeed be found in a fart joke, laughing Other than these segments, the timing to build momentum. The ‘Man with at the sound of flatulence for over two of the longer sketches was hit and miss. the Second Longest Fingernails in the minutes seemed a tad too juvenile. Giv- A scene involving Fantails and the Last World’ is hilarious as Sam Brewer tries Supper dragged on for an eternity, cul- to make breakfast, and Jack Ballhausen minating in an all-too predictable punch is excellent as a singing Hannibal Lecter. line; but on the other hand, watching However long transitions between a man with obscenely long fingernails scenes, and a couple of overlong perform daily tasks for several minutes sketches, leave the performance feeling was cringingly brilliant. occasionally laboured. On the whole, the Arts Revue show- The sketches following the interval cased some exceptional USYD act- are in possession of renewed energy and ing talent, with the sketches being met excellent comic timing. The ‘Spanish with more authentic laughter than un- Scene’ which features Pan from Pan’s comfortable silence. However, social Labyrinth as part of a Mariachi Band lubricant would have been a welcome is an audience favourite. So too is an accompaniment, if only to make those infantile Bond Villain astride a tricycle odd moments a little less awkward. Max Schintler went to school to learn, heckles from a number of intoxicated Union Board directors. A lot of the girl, not listen to hecklers skits took far too long to crawl towards It was with great anticipation that I their punchlines, and even more tried rushed into the Seymour Centre to se- to stretch vaguely funny jokes far fur- cure my (unallocated) seat for Ed Re- ther than they were capable of sustain- vue, just before show time. My wonder- ing. A potentially funny one-liner about ings about the theme – the show was Our critics have sunk their teeth into two more being “saved by the bell”, for example, titled Waiting for Gonski – were immedi- revues: Arts and Education and Social Work was dragged out into a three minute ately sated; the first sketch was a Wait- miniature soap opera that still only ing for Godot parody in a familiar primary had one funny line, while an attempt- school setting, and attended to the ed Backstreet Boys spoof made the show’s tagline: “No hat, no play. How from several USU Board Directors Georgia Behrens liked Ed Revue, wannabe satirists look even sillier than absurd.” Gonski, it seems, may be a (who recieved free tickets to every re- but some of it needs improvement their subjects. Meanwhile, a skit about draconian school principal who fails to Redfern station was poorly executed vue) took the opportunity, after a few There were a number of genuinely understand the physics behind the pos- refreshments, to remind us of one per- and had some (possibly inadvertent) sibility of bare-headed play occurring. funny moments in this year’s Educa- dubious race and class connotations. former’s name, with shouts of “Cacca- tion Revue, Waiting for Gonski: Lach- The most enjoyable aspect of this To give credit where credit is due: the set MO” heard whenever he was on stage, lan Burn’s pseudo-Marxist-feminist- revue was, for me, the consistence of design was elegant and striking, the tech as well as shouts of “Lack-a-MO” when anarchist reading of The Very Hungry theme, as we were frequently brought crew did well, and the song-and-dance said performer was absent. When asked Caterpillar; Zara Stanton’s ukulele ren- back to our primary and high school numbers were enthusiastically, energeti- for comment, current USU Board Presi- dition of ‘The Bare Necessities’; and days. Education references were in cally executed. dent, Hannah Morris, said: “The Board a chorus of plastic-aproned tuck- Overall, these future teachers still abundance, from the humorous sketch- thoroughly enjoyed the revue… and we shop ladies breaking down to Ke$ha’s es: a child T-Pain rapping ‘I’m on a Bus’ need some schooling in the fine art of support all the student revues in the noughties nightclub classic, ‘TiK ToK’. live comedy; an A for obvious effort, and a person who was literally saved by program as a way for students to show- But, unfortunately, it seems that this the Bell (a big cardboard bell, at that!), but a pretty average mark for the stuff case and appreciate each other’s talents.” year’s directors weren’t kidding when that really matters. to the still-funny, but also sad-because- This enjoyment was evident on the eve- they described themselves as “clutch- it’s-true sketches: Patrick Madden as ning as the Board President called out ing at an ever-diminishing stockpile of Julia Gillard singing about gendered to identify a Jesus character first as Ned school-related humour” in their pro- prejudice towards her overshadowing and then as Arya Stark. Cast member motional material. Every genuine laugh her legislative achievements. It was a Patrick Madden, when asked for an that Ed Revue elicited was preceded- highlight of the evening, and the audi- opinion, said he “think[s] it’s all in good and succeeded by long stretches of ence treated it as such. fun, it wasn’t distracting for [him] as a awkward (occasionally squirm-inducing) I quite enjoyed the show, which even performer.” 8/10, would go again. silence, sporadically punctuated with featured some audience participation Education and Social Work revue: Waiting for Gonski

16 “I also think that if you want to put a price on carbon, why not just do it with a simple tax?” www.honisoit.com

Special Consideration – Who Cares? Ask Abe

If you are sick or have experienced apply for special consideration on the some misadventure that has basis of illness, injury or misadventure Dear Abe, stopped you from being able on the part of the person for whom to complete an assessment or they care if their ability to prepare for I’ve got a million things exam you can claim Special or perform the assessment is adversely going on in my life at Consideration. affected. the moment and uni just can’t be my number one So if you are in that situation, get the priority. I can’t imagine that However, did you know that this appropriate documentation and apply I will be attending many classes includes being a carer for someone before the 5 day deadline. from now until the end of the who is sick? Of course there are If it is a situation that you can year. I know I’ve missed the HECs conditions. For example, you have to foresee, then you should talk to census date, but is there a way that be their primary carer, and be able to your teacher about getting special I can avoid failing. prove that. The University’s policy arrangements instead of special says: consideration. This might include Past Census Students who bear a primary carer doing your exam earlier or having responsibility toward another person a different type of assessment or Dear Past Census, at the time of an assessment may also something else we haven’t thought of. You are still in time to apply for a Discontinue Not to count as Fail grade (DNF). Look on your faculty For undergraduate website for details on how to do this. Free This means you will have no academic Sydney Uni Students penalty, but will still be liable for fees. However, if you can show that you rea- sonably believed that you could com- plete the subject at the beginning of the FREE legal advice, representation in court and a referral service to year, then things disintegrated beyond undergraduate students at The University of Sydney. your control, you may be able to apply • Immigration Advice NEED a Justice of the Peace? for a refund. Ask SRC Help for details • Tenancy law Our solicitor will certify documents & witness statutory declarations based on your personal circumstances • Credit & debt Appointments to see if you should apply. • Discrimination & harassment Phone 02 9660 5222 • Traffic offences Drop-in sessions Abe • Criminal law (no appointment needed) The Ask Abe column has been a feature in Honi • Employment law Tuesdays & Thursdays 1pm-3pm Soit since 2001. During that time, Abe, the SRC’s • Credit and debt welfare dog has provided advice to students • Administration (gov) law Location about Centrelink problems, academic appeals, • Victims compensation Level 1 (basement) Wentworth Building, City Road, Darlington accommodation situations, shortages of money, • Consumer complaints University procedures and a variety of other • Domestric violence We have a solicitor 法律諮詢 situations. • Insurance law who speaks Cantonese, Unfortunately on 21st June, 2013, Abe died. He • University complaints 法律アドバイス was a few months short of his 18th birthday, and Mandarin & Japanese had lived a grand life, full of adventure and love. • And more ... please ask us While the SRC is sad to have lost such a wise and insightful canine, we will continue to produce this Students’ Representative Council, University of Sydney | Level 1 Wentworth Building, Uni of Sydney column in his memory. If there are any questions 02 9660 5222 | www.src.usyd.edu.au | ACN 146 653 143 you would like to ask send an email to: help@src. usyd.edu.au.

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“The problem with the Australian practice of abortion is that an objectively grave matter has been reduced to a question of the mother’s convenience.” 17 SRC @honi_soit President’s Report [email protected] David Pink explains why the SRC did not have a stall at Open Day 2013 I have manned the SRC stall at Open thought that USYD sounded a lot more Instead, we will be leafleting prospec- Day every single year since I started fun than UNSW. (This year, that might tive students and informing them of university, and it is usually a fantas- have been a bit more difficult – a lot why wages and conditions for staff are tic opportunity to inform prospective of the high school students are prob- important. They have a right to know. students of their student representa- ably under-18 so we wouldn’t be able to I’m not going to bother explaining tive organisation’s services, and ways hand out one particular issue). why staff ’s wages and conditions are they can get involved in our collectives Open Day is very, very important important. If you’re not convinced by should they be activist inclined. to us. However, it was our unanimous now, you’ll never be convinced. I actually decided to go to Sydney decision that the interests of under- I’m writing this article before the University because of the SRC stall at graduate students (current and future) action at Open Day, but I wanted to Open Day. The then-President Elly at the University of Sydney would be reiterate that no matter what happens: Howse had a large stock of Honi Soits, undermined if we went ahead with the the SRC stands in complete and 100% and I took a few and after reading them stall. solidarity with staff. Vice-President’s Report [email protected]

Amelie Vanderstock updates us on the USYD community garden project

A community garden is growing at ers in a common site for such skills and USYD! soil to be shared. Local councils includ- level of the community garden’s creation. From sprouting skills, to After years of spontaneously arising ing the City of Sydney with the ‘grow it local’ focus, are increasingly encour- poster design, to volunteer roster groups, writing proposals, pressuring coordination - there are many ways the university, and creating guerrilla gar- aging community garden initiatives in a shift toward local empowerment and to contribute that cater to a diversity den plots around campus to spread the of interests and experience. Now word, a community garden will soon be vegetating urban environments. Schools have been leaders in such projects with that we have our location secured, growing at USYD. Operating through we are in the final design phase: the Student Representative Council increasing successful University exam- ples. From the rooftop garden at ANU looking at best permaculture prac- (SRC), in a joint venture with the Cen- tice to use our space efficiently and tre for English Teaching (CET) and the (Canberra) to the vibrant vegetable beds of UOW (Wollongong), campus sustainably. If there are any budding USYD Food Coop, we can now create permaculture designers amongst our an inclusive space where students are gardens have brought students together in more ways than planting. student community, why not use this empowered to come together- learning as a first (or umpteenth) project? After body for all USYD undergraduates, it from one another through building and Sustainability, food security, ques- we’ve erected the beds, ready for spring is important for the SRC to facilitate maintaining our campus garden. We’ve tioning the supermarket monopoly, planting, watch for the call out for the these inclusive ventures and hopefully, received the final approval to begin con- approaches to mental health, urban Inaugural Gardening Bee! Watch this it can then contribute to making our struction of raised garden beds on the ecological understanding, collaboration space! SRC more accessible and relevant to 5th floor Balcony of Wentworth build- and community... there is an abundance our diverse community. ing. Accessible through the Centre for of reasons and goals for a community In the meantime we can choose which crops we want to plant, sprout seeds We next meet Monday 1pm on the English teaching (CET), this location garden on our campus. The garden will Garden Balcony, Level 5 Wentworth and collaboration provides a unique be a balance of food crops and native at home and uni, refine the everyday organising of the garden, and complete - accessible via the Centre for English opportunity for international and flora for education, encouragement of teaching, upstairs from International domestic students to meet and work in native diversity and self-sufficient food the finer tasks that as a broad collective we can learn to do together! students lounge (or look up at the pro- concert. In this expansive space students production purposes. Multilingual sig- truding rail from Hermanns!). are invited to participate in workshops nage and regular working bees to plant I envisage the garden to bring from no-dig-gardening to feminism and maintain the garden will ensure a together our broad, dynamic student No matter your skills and experience, and facilitation - as the garden has the collaborative, volunteer-coordinated community in sharing knowledge, skills If you are interested in gardening, or potential to become a hub of cross SRC project - not to mention opportunities and experiences- not just about gar- simply finding or expanding your com- collective endeavours. Community gar- for volunteer participants to feast on dening but about our commonalities munity on campus, contact us at usy- den allow those without gardening area the fruits of our labour! as students and the diversities of inter- [email protected] or call me on 0413679269 to find out more! or knowledge of their own to join oth- Student input is important at every ests and futures. As the representative General Secretary’s Report [email protected]

Dylan Parker is not a fan of Abbott

I know I am starting to sound like a bit VSU is coming back and will potentially puts the independence of the SRC at of a broken record on this but I think see the further decimation of student risk. Students expect us to stand up for it is important that all students realise associations across the country. them and speak truth to power when the potentially rough future ahead for Undeniably, the SRC survived VSU necessary. It becomes much harder to the SRC. mark 1 however this was only due to do so when those we need to influence I write this because a week out from the VC at the time seeing merit in our can budget us out of existence accord- the Federal election it is looking like services. VSU mark 2 will mean once ing to the mere whim of the VC. sadly a foregone conclusion that on again that the SRC will have to rely on Look, I don’t mean to be overly politi- Sept 8 we are all going to wake up to of the continued benefaction of the Uni- cal. But I would be a negligent General Prime Minister Abbott. versity to dip into its own funds in order Secretary, if I wasn’t honest in saying Ok so what does this have to do with for our services. that if Abbott wins the SRC may again the finances of the SRC? It means that This is a big problem as it ultimately be in trouble.

18 “It’s a real skill this walking backwards business, isn’t it?” www.honisoit.com SRC Womens’ Officer Report [email protected] Emily Rayers reports on the NDA against sexual assault The National Day of Action Against and 1/20 men in Australia will be sexu- about reporting to police and the court Always check with your partner(s) if you Sexual Assault occurred last Thursday. ally assaulted in their lifetime. This is still process – if you choose to do so. There are not 100% sure that they are know- In conjunction with the sexual assault a pervasive problem in our society and is no obligation to report, no Medicare ingly and enthusiastically giving you services at the Royal Prince Alfred Hos- it is important to use opportunities like or full name or address required, and consent. pital, Women’s Collective volunteered at the NDA to consider sexual violence, translators are available free of charge. These statistics are too damn high, train stations across Sydney to hand out reflect on the role you have to play in Phone 9515 9040 during business and it’s on each and every one of us to flowers, pens and materials reflecting preventing it, and remember that these hours or 9515 6111 in a crisis situation, contribute towards changing them. the main goals of the NDA: are not just statistics – these are most or turn up to the ground floor of the • Celebrate victim’s survival of sexual likely people in your life that are impor- King George V building or Emergency assault tant to you, whether you know it or not. Department. For people living away from Sydney or NSW, a good start is the • Draw attention to the continuing So what can you do? National Sexual Assault, Domestic & need for public education and support 1. Know how to respond if some- Family Violence Line on 1800 737 732 services one you know reveals an experience of or the NSW Rape Crisis Centre on 1800 sexual assault or isn’t sure if they have • Inform SA survivors of support 424 017 who can help them to find local been sexually assaulted. For anybody options available to them resources or services. studying, working or living in the area • Inform potential perpetrators that (regardless of gender, home address, 2. Stand up against sexual assault sexual assault is a crime, the victim is nationality, financial status, language whenever you feel safe to do so. Don’t never to blame and that ‘just because skills) the RPAH Sexual Assault Service laugh at a dodgy rape joke, call out the she isn’t saying no, doesn’t mean she’s offers free counseling, medical/forensic guy who is ‘hitting on’ the drunkest girl saying yes’ support, special consideration applica- he can find, stand up against victim- It is estimated that 1/3-1/5 of women tion help and support and information blaming because it is never their fault.

[email protected] Education Officer’s Report Tenaya Alattas talks about free school and collective strength At the University of Sydney the strug- is marring livelihoods of picketers with hierarchical (by subject, by constant an institution in the common interest. gle for worker’s conditions has been at expensive (fines and barrister costs) and rankings on tests etc.)- Form of educa- So I think its time that Sydney starts the forefront of education campaigns; elongated court cases swallowing up tion, which characterizes the neoliberal capitalizing on the current context of with student-run protests guided by an time and even hopes of their future. I university. However it is important to political unrest, of the whittling away allegiance to staff. In 2012 we saw mass think it is important at this point in time note that they are also a form of offense of barriers between staff and students rallies, petitions, a referendum and an to reflect WHY are we throwing- our insofar that they offer an alternative and the camaraderie on the picket line occupation to fight against the decision selves in front of cars and police with platform to learn which is free, acces- that unites those for a cause and against of VC Michael Spence to fire 350 staff. guns and WHAT is it that we are trying sible, and not bound by course curricu- management (economic) and police vio- 2013 has been marked by the NTEU to defend. lums and constant testing. lence. By establishing collective strength and CPSU industrial dispute; with stu- Across Australia, universities have It offers its participants an unmediated and rejecting the binary inherent to the dents linking arms with staff to ensure been engaged in similar struggles with form of education. Learning for educa- profit driven model of higher education, them better wages, conditions and job staff to rally against cuts to courses, tion’s sake and not as a means to an end. integrated student/staff/faculty groups security degrees and staff. Interestingly there are I think one way in which to deepen the and actions can effectively organize There comes a point, however, when also three well-established Free Schools: bonds between staff and student is to towards an alternative non-market para- the need to reflect becomes necessary. in Brisbane, the University of Wollon- realize what is this university that we are digm of education. If you are interested Problematically, participating in indus- gong and the University of Melbourne. trying to defend. More so it is important in getting involved in starting up a free trial action is increasingly underpinned Each of these starts from a point of to note that there has been no ‘golden school at Sydney University please con- by the threat of violence- more inju- defence- against the user-pays, outcome age’ of the university – it has never been tact [email protected] ries, more arrests. Already this process based (whether career or degree), and Queer Officer’s Report [email protected] Fahad Ali reports on the latest queer news on campus

The University of Sydney Pride Fes- per—the most fabulous edition of the especially if you’re using illicit sub- will not get in trouble. tival is coming our way: a spectacular, year. At 10:00 pm on Friday, SHADES stances. Police brutality, illegal searches, and week-long burst of energy and colour will be holding ‘Super Queer-os’ at Zan- It is illegal for police to conduct a strip misconduct are common, especially at on campus to celebrate our queer com- zibar in Newtown, celebrating the end search without a warrant or reasonable large queer events. ACON’s Rover team munity. It’s on from 16th to the 20th of of Pride Festival and the superheroes of suspicion. Sniffer dogs only warrant a works to help make sure that people are September, and here are some of the the queer community. search if they sit down next to you—it is staying safe at parties, and legal observ- highlights. Beyond Pride Festival, look out for not enough for them to simply sniff you. ers from the Inner City Legal Centre On Sunday the 15th, join us at 12:30 the University of Sydney Union’s Glitter They cannot conduct a cavity search. It (ICLC) make sure that police are act- on Eastern Ave for the first Queer Gala on October 10th. It’s a celebration must be conducted in private, and they ing by the book. If you suspect police March! It’s own little (less corporate and of the queer community on campus, must tell you their name, command, and misconduct, contact the ACON Anti- more exciting) Mardi Gras. We’ll parade and includes a three-course dinner with the reason for the search. Violence Project or the ICLC and they’ll our colours down Carillon Avenue, fol- drinks, and tickets are available from the If someone is having an overdose, provide you with advice and support. lowed by celebrations in Camperdown Access Desk (Level 1, Manning House). call 000 and you will not get in trouble. The SRC supports the full legalisation Memorial Rest Park. Parties are pretty great, which is why Ambos and medics will not call the of all drugs. Drug use can be safe, as The Queer Honi Launch Party will kick between the SRC’s Queer Department, police or report you. They’re there to long as you’re informed and know what off at the Verge Gallery at 6:00 pm on the USU’s Queer Coordinator program, save lives, so be up front and honest. you’re doing. If you need any informa- Tuesday the 17th. Celebrate the launch and SHADES, we’re holding so many! People have died because emergency tion, get in touch with the queer officers of the annual queer edition of Honi But when you’re out having a good time, wasn’t called in fear of being caught out. and we’ll be happy to direct you to the Soit, Australia’s oldest student newspa- make sure you’re aware of your rights, Remember, call an ambulance and you resources you need.

“I can’t remember myself ever saying anything (laughter) quite as concise as that.” 19 puzzles @honi_soit fin

QUICK CROSSWORD Across Down 1 If the bellman says it this many times it 1 Break, Break Break poet (8) must be true! (6) 2 Pulls away (8) 4 A form of boating (8) 3 Jane Eyre writer (9,6) 9 Decent (3,3) 5 Chill (4) 10 Denim (8) 6 Something that Sydney University offers (6,9) 12 Anual exams (8) 7 Raid (6) 13 Seperate (6) 8 The Sorrows of Young Werther author (6) 15 Usually describes a heavenly limb (12) 11 Delivers (7) 18 A branch of tehology that deals with 14 The treasurer is responsible for this (7) principles of exegesis (12) 16 Quite poison (8) 21 French existentialist (6) 17 Small chunks of metal or rock that move 22 Unripe (8) around the sun (8) 24 Arouse again (8) 19 Stellar (6) 25 He who denounced Cataline (6) 20 «Release the ______» (6) 26 Mercifullness (8) 23 A stupid person that is often smart (4) 27 Together (6)

Down 11 Eight exist right in the middle of spring (7) CRYPTIC CROSSWORD 14 Clumsy western king in a part of prison (7) 1 Funnily it gleams of delays (4,4) 16 Crazy suit introduced apple and sheep dessert (8) 2 Hued timber door oddly covers old directions (8) 17 A Greek King gave up two grand to be fitting in (8) 3 Irish novelist›s solid lover might be in disarray (6,9) 19 Soccer Club; Arabian divine Beetle (6) 5 A short rural poem I would yell externally! (4) 20 The quiet above the horizon is heard in a 6 GE lost control on a national poll (7,8) correctional institution (6) 7 Makeshift part of a whip with a stir!? (4-2) 23 Compensation comes with time inside a party (4) 8 An Irish poet embrace the first sudsy agent used in beer production (6)

Across

1 Pratchett’s unfinished novel RO brings about an overwhelming feeling of fear (6) 4 KKK manufacture lye for a British novelist? (8) 9 Wrongly tailor to a superpowered TV character (6) 10 Athletic facilities empty men with large foreign mass (8) 12 Legislation took love from pretence for an author that wrote ‘c***’ ten times! (8) 13 Chang es sprout an author in search of lost time (6) 15 Two ogres party well like a writer? (6,6) 18 Strange behaviour at night, i.e., pass out gradually around Fifty State Liberal Royalty (12) 21 Feel concern without giving the French affectionate stroke (6) 22 Remains of the destroyed city era (8) 24 Inhales and exhales to repress one difficulty (8) 25 Author jumped off a spinning minibike in a bathing suit (6) 26 American humorist changed NBC with energy and he left in a saucy finale (8) 27 A peacekeeper Chinese dynasty is not heard of? (6) Zplig

20 “Western civilisation came to this country in 1788 and I’m proud of that…” fin INSIDE: Tony Abbott THE increasing education levels by having all the stupid ideas SOIN himself! ASSANGE

11 Eight exist right in the middle of spring (7) 14 Clumsy western king in a part of prison (7) RUNS FOR OZ 16 Crazy suit introduced apple and sheep dessert (8) 17 A Greek King gave up two grand to be fitting in (8) 19 Soccer Club; Arabian divine Beetle (6) 20 The quiet above the horizon is heard in a correctional institution (6) 23 Compensation comes with time inside a party (4) CRICKET team Attempt to fast track migration back to Australia!

With the first sitting of the Aus- Although Assange has never protector. With umpires seek- is clearly just a doctored work by tralian Senate fast approaching, previously played cricket in his ing to send Assange away for a the American government aimed digital freedom fighter and aspir- life, Australian selectors have century, allegations contrived at discrediting his campaign, as ing bond villain Julian Assange reported Assange is one of the circumstances by the oppos- were the accidental preferencing has reportedly taken the uncon- best Australian players they’ve ing team have also been raised. of right wing parties, and the ventional route this week of seen all year. However selectors Assange has since pledged never subsequent forfeiture of half of joining the Australian national were quick to clarify this was to return to Sweden, for fears he his candidates. US authorities cricket team in order to expedite not a comment on the quality may be poached the American have hit back claiming that while his migration back to Australia, of Assange’s skills so much as Baseball League. they would love an opportunity to seeking to take advantage of a reflection on the sad state of undermine Assange’s campaign, The move to elite sports by the laws that place elite athletes Australia’s current test team. they feel he is currently doing a former data-barron has raise md above doctors, teachers and better job than they ever could. Having demonstrated enviable very few eyebrows in Assange’s peace prize laureates in the Aus- net skills, Assange was trialed homeland of Australia with citi- Current indications coming out tralian migratory process. This in a small game against Swe- zens reporting that after seeing of Canberra suggest Assange’s follows the abandoning of plans den over the weekend, with Assange’s The Voice campaign new cricket foray will have him by Assange to travel back to mixed results. Having bowled a video for the upcoming election, back in Australia within the week, Australia by boat last week, after maiden over shortly after drinks, nothing will now shock them. just in time for him to loose his news reached the Ecuadorian Assange’s luck was soon soured Assange has however released a appeal for the senate and be Embassy in London of the anti- by a questionable ruling on an statement that the man appear- extradited to America. boat ads hanging in shopping appeal, and disputes arising ing in the video was in fact not malls across western Sydney. around Assange not wearing his him, and that this horrific footage

GRIEF STRICKEN DOLPHIN WITHOUT PORPOISE IN LIFE 21 THE SOIN These people are thankful they’re not writing for Vertigo: Ariel Castro-Martinez, Nick Gowland,

RUDD:Internal polling conducted by STOP THE CARS“What would you do if your the ALP has found that voters child needed medical attention in marginal seats are more and you were told that you had likely to vote for Labor following to wait hours for an ambulance Kevin Rudd’s controversial to arrive? Wouldn’t you do policy announcement about the everything you could to prevent processing and resettlement them from dying?” said one of asylum seekers. Buoyed by professional. such polling, Mr Rudd called a press conference yesterday The Department of Health has afternoon to outline his plans to begun an intensive advertising reform Australian hospitals and campaign aimed at deterring healthcare. people from arriving at hospitals in cars. One video featured on the The Prime Minister was joined department’s website, entitled by the Minister for Health, was implemented Mildred When questioned by the media ‘Queue Jumpers’, reveals Tanya Plibersek, to announce Tomlinson, a senior citizen Ms Plibersek said that she felt footage of children with cancer that people who choose to walk from Sydney’s outer suburbs, “conflicted” by Ms Tomlinson’s crying when they discover that or drive to hospital emergency phoned emergency services to circumstances but was confident they are not permitted to enter departments will be denied request an ambulance because “that process has to be followed”. the hospital. medical assistance on arrival. of an irregular heartbeat. Upon Bill Shorten, appearing on the “For too long people have put being told that the wait for an ABC’s Q&A programme, stated The Opposition Leader, their lives at risk by refusing to ambulance could be anywhere that he made “no apologies Tony Abbott, praised the wait for an ambulance and driving between three and five hours Ms for preventing people who government’s decision for its to emergency departments Tomlinson, who believed she was have access to a car jumping “lack of humanity” but claimed themselves,” Mr Rudd said. Ms going to die, asked her neighbour the queue”. Leading medical that the Coalition “would be even Plibersek indicated that the to drive her to the hospital. professions have condemned Mr tougher, even harsher, even more government’s new policy would When Ms Tomlinson arrived at Shorten’s comments claiming cruel”. When asked specifically commence immediately. the emergency department she that people cannot be expected about Ms Tomlinson’s situation was refused entry by police. She to stay at home and die waiting Mr Abbott claimed that “shit Three hours after the policy remains in a critical condition. for an ambulance to arrive. happens”. PREFERENCE CONTROVERSY Amnesty Letter Writing Fails, In a monumental fuck-up couldn’t have picked a worse reminiscent of that time Billy contestant. I like those twin Engages New Strategy of Heavy Ray and Tish Cyrus decided they blondes with the chests, wish were feeling a little bit frisky I knew their names so I could Breathing Down the Phone and it felt right to just forget the have preferenced them instead.” Amnesty Letter Writing Fails: condom, the Liberal National “Hhhh…Burke…hhhhhh…I Engages New Strategy of Heavy would jump your queue anyday… Party have accidentally signed a Receptacle of the party brain Breathing Down the Phone hhhhhhh…I have a visa to please preference deal with Big Brother cells, Malcolm Turnbull, was ya…HHHHHHHH…let’s close contestant Caleb Geppert. quick to smooth over his In the torrid love affair between the door, Tony, and scuttle into colleague’s mistake. the Human Rights group and the The deal, which was signed each other’s excise zones… Immigration Minister Tony Burke, HHHHHHHHH…I WANT TO FEEL yesterday afternoon by “We’re really excited to bring Mr Amnesty has taken another step SO HUMAN RIGHT.” Opposition Leader Tony Abbott, Geppert on board, even if it has in the direction of desperation ensures that all first preferences come as a bit of a surprise,” he and has begun sighing erotically The Immigration Minister has from all votes for LNP candidates said. down the phone line late at night. will go directly to 33 year old since expressed his desire that Amnesty stop the notes, citing Geppert’s campaign to win “The work he has done over the The courtship began with the fear that inbound letters Channel Ten’s top rating reality past few weeks in the House has flirtatious Facebook messages written by people with funny TV show. been really impressive - we look during lectures, yet the innocent names will overrun his letterbox forward to developing a closer correspondence rapidly and threaten the security and Sources have confirmed that working relationship in the lead escalated into a full-blown faux reality of his precious the glaring administrative error up to the federal election.” epistolary relationship. However, occurred as a result of Mr Abbott Western-centric world. The real when the notoriously persistent just not having a frigging clue reason is that Burke is afraid to Amnesty penned one of the about how politics works. love. letters in period blood and filled the envelope with pubic hair, Speaking to The Soin this In other news, Australia is now Burke stopped replying. morning, he attempted to screening season 11 of Border

explain the oversight. Security. When asked in a phone interview about the rejection, Amnesty “I was busy watching Big Brother MORE CHARITY NEWS: replied, “Hhhhh… hhhhhhh… with my women and working hhhhhhhh.” through some papers at the Oxfam’s mail-a-goat scheme

same time and then breathing ends in tragedy when the post Amnesty has so far showed as well, so it was all v. complex,” office forgets to punch air holes. no signs of desisting the he said. asymmetrical romance, “Who invited them?”: Vinnie’s releasing this audio statement “He’s not even my favourite! Winter Sleep-Out gate-crashed very late last night: People say he might be gay - I by actual homeless people.

22 Cancelled flight leaves Vietnamese man Hanoi’ed THE Alexandra MIldenhall, Alex Tighe, Patrick Madden, Bernadette Anvia, Cameron Smith, Joe McKenzie. SOIN OBAMA INSPIRES MILLIONS WITH INDECISIVENESS President Obama inspired rally in a New Orleans stadium no mistakes is the man who millions this week on the eve as the most sensible attitude does nothing.” Evoking the of the 50th anniversary of towards the role of government words of past Presidents John F. Martin Luther King’s march on they’ve ever heard a Democrat Kennedy and Theodore Roosevelt Washington, delivering a historic express. respectively without a hint of and momentous speech to the irony. thousands who had gathered at “I can see now, as all Americans; the Lincoln Memorial. men and women of all colours Asked to comment on how Dr. and backgrounds, gathered Martin Luther King Jr. would have Amidst increasingly bloody here today around this historic reacted to the speech, Cornel turmoil abroad, and a continuing reflecting pool, that we must dip West, the prominent African- slow economic recovery our toes into the water before American academic and political domestically, the President took we jump in. The Middle-East is activist just buried his face into his the opportunity to thank the a real geopolitical cluster-fuck hands and wept uncontrollably. people who had elected him right now, and the economy is “I fear brother Barack has taken for voting to enact change, but only barely recovering, so let’s Dr. King’s passivism too literally. cautioned that sometimes, when all take a leaf out of the NSA’s He fails to see that the only way you have a really tough call to PRISM handbook and just wait to get change is to challenge the make, even if inaction may lead and watch.” status quo.” Asked how he would to further suffering, it’s best to change the Middle East, brother just not do anything and hope no “We do these things not because West just shrugged and said, “I one blames you—a policy lauded it’s easy, but because they are don’t know. That place is fucked by Republicans convening at a hard. The only man who makes no matter what we do.” MORE FUCKING BREAKING SOIN EXCLUSIVE: COALITION ACCUSES ELECTION NEWS KETUT OF BEING ILLEGAL BOAT PERSON Harry Potter fans have been tisement, and to note Ketut’s in safe and legal sailing to Aus- camping outside parliament decision to attend Rhonda’s tralia.” house for eight days in light of reunion in native headdress J.K’s surprising new book, which and clothing, both of which did A spokesperson for AAMI features a uniquely Australian nothing to “accentuate his sex announced this morning that twist. The book Tony Abbott and appeal.” a “full investigation will be the Suppository of Wisdom has recently scratched the heads of launched, and a re-assessment thousands of Harry Potter fans Last night’s leader’s debate saw When questioned about the Coa- of Mr Ketut’s role in AAMI adver- globally with both excitement the leader of the opposition, lition’s allegations this morning, tisements will be undertaken and discombobulating terror Tony Abbott, come out swinging Shadow Treasurer Joe Hockey should it be found that he has wondering if this will be the at Prime Minister Kevin Rudd, admitted that he was also disap- travelled to Australia by boat. At straw that finally breaks J.K’s pointed by AAMI’s decision to AAMI, we are committed to safe wealthy back. shocking constituents by claim- ing to have unearthed irrefutable feature Ketut in their new series driving, and this also means a and undeniable evidence to sug- of advertisements, without ques- commitment to safe sailing to In an exclusive interview with tioning his means of arrival to Australia. We too, want to see Today Tonight, Rolling stated, gest that Australia’s favourite Australia. “I believe that AAMI an end to the dingy and unsafe ‘as long as it has my name on safe driver, Ketut (last name it, people will buy it. That’s the unknown) is an illegal boat per- is guilty of a certain amount boats carrying people to Aus- sort of thing I’ve come to under- son who has followed Rhonda to of negligence. As an Australian tralia.” stand after the success of Harry. Australia from an undisclosed business, it was their duty to It’s funny how quickly one can neighbouring country. fully investigate Ketut’s situation Attempts to contact Rhonda last churn out books for money; one before deciding to feature him in night proved to be futile, and no moment I’m plotting renovations an advertisement that has been official statement to the press to my mansion, the next I’m Mr. Abbott claimed last night that Labor’s “unreal solution” to broadcast across Australia. For has as yet been made. Rhonda churning out a book to fund it. goodness sake AAMI, you didn’t seems intent on distancing her- Such is life.’ the illegal boat people issue had allowed for Ketut to travel to Aus- even stop to ask what Ketut’s last self from the whole debacle and name is!” from Ketut, having tweeted a Tony Abbott also got his fair say tralia, in “flagrant disrespect of on the books release, ‘I’m quite Australian borders, security and picture of herself this morning pleased that News Corp has legal means of migration”- not It seems that the Labor party ensconced in the arms of her managed to fix my suppository to mention his refusal to respect may have very well sealed the new man, captioned “Ketut IS cock-up with a 300 page novel. Rhonda’s desire to move on with last nail in their coffin, two weeks kaput.” I’m okay with being a character a “good Aussie bloke from the ahead of the Federal Election. in the book, but I don’t want to North Shore.” Julie Bishop has claimed it to be With no knowledge of Ketut’s be using magic or anything. As “horrific” that the Labor party last name or address, it really a socially conservative catholic, The leader of the Opposition had allowed for a situation in seems that Ketut is kaput. For witchcraft is a sin. I wont endorse which the Australian public had those who have any information it, unless it becomes an election continued with his attack on the found themselves beginning to on Ketut’s whereabouts, they are issue, in which case it has my full Labor party, claiming that Ketut support. My sister is a wizard.” represents the large number of “like Ketut.” Ms. Bishop claimed asked to call 1300 BOAT STOP- illegal boat people who come to that Ketut had “lulled us all into PERS. The book is set to hit the book- Australia and refuse to assimi- a false sense of security” by shelves in the next few days. The late into Australian culture. Mr associating himself with a safe sequel, Abbott and the Arseload of Abbott extolled constituents to driver’s advertisement, when the Aspirations will follow shortly. closely analyse the AAMI adver- “man clearly does not believe

CANNIBAL BEGINS DAY WITH CUP OF JOE 23 Students’ Representative Council, University of Sydney Annual Election

elections SRC VOTE!in the Polling Booth Times and Locations 2013 Polling Wed 25th Thurs 26th Location Sept 2013 Sept 2013 Pre-Polling will also be held Fisher 8:30-6:30 8:30-5:00 outside the SRC’s Offices, Level 1 Manning 10:00-4:00 10:00-4:00 Wentworth Building, on Tuesday 24th Cumberland 11:00-3:00 11:00-3:00 September from SCA 12:00-2:00 No polling 10am-3pm. Engineering No polling 12:00-2:00 Conservatorium 12:00-2:00 No polling

Authorised by P. Graham, SRC Electoral Officer 2013. Jane Foss 8:30-6:00 8:30-6:00 Students’ Representative Council, University of Sydney Phone: 02 9660 5222 www.src.usyd.edu.au