PARKS AND RECREATION "The Softball Game" Written by Dave De Poto and Paul Little
[email protected] WGAW Registered COLD OPEN INT. PIONEER HALLWAY - MORNING - DAY 1 LESLIE walks down the hallway. She stops to fill up her mug at the water cooler. JOE from the Sewage Department creeps up behind her. He closes his eyes and sniffs in her hair. Leslie is startled/disgusted. LESLIE Oh my God! What are you doing? JOE I’m sorry. There’s just something about your scent that invigorates me. LESLIE Well, congratulations. That’s one of the creepiest things a guy has ever said to me. (beat, embarrassed) At this water cooler. JOE (sincerely) Thank you. But even though you send out these vibes that attract me to you like a raccoon in heat, I didn’t come here only to seduce you. I came to give your poor Parks Department a fair warning. LESLIE A fair warning for what? JOE Looks like you won the unlucky slot of playing us again at this year’s picnic. LESLIE What!? We’re playing you guys!? Again!? "The Softball Game" 2. LESLIE TALKING HEAD LESLIE (CONT’D) Each year city hall holds a “company picnic” of sorts for each department to become more well acquainted with its fellow branches of government. Different departments compete in various activities such as pie-eating, Jell- O tossing, and Jell-O eating. (embarrassed pause) Unfortunately, last year the Parks Department got paired up in a game of softball with the Sewage Department, who used every dirty trick in the book.