CHIEF JUSTICE JOHN ROBERTS IS A ROBOT Ian Kerr* and Carissima Mathen** I Introduction The title of this article is not pejorative. It is suggestive. It asks readers to imagine the following counterfactual. Around the globe, people awaken to some very strange news. In different languages, the same headline thunders: "Chief Justice John Roberts is a Robot". Rendered unconscious during an ambush and attempted kidnapping while attending a conference at the House of Lords, Chief Justice Roberts’ captors boldly deliver-him- up to the Royal London Hospital and speed off. In urgent and unusual circumstances—and in breach of US and international protocols—a team of emergency surgeons cut him open to save his life. That is when they discovered that his biology only runs skin deep. The Chief Justice, it turns out, was a robot. Despite heroic efforts, the surgical staff was unable to revive the Chief. Several renowned teams of surgeons, computer scientists and experts in the fields of cybernetics and artificial intelligence were subsequently consulted with numerous further unsuccessful attempts to reanimate him. Devout practitioners of Kabbalah were called in. They offered various incantations but, upon failure to resurrect JR-R, concluded that the robot, like the great Golem of Prague, had outlived its divine purpose. After weeks of follow-up investigations and interviews, it is learned that "John Roberts" did indeed graduate from Harvard Law School in 1979 and that "his" legal career unfolded exactly as documented in public life. However, John Roberts, Robot (JR-R) was in fact a highly advanced prototype of the US Robots and Mechanical Men Corporation, developed during the period chronologically corresponding with what * Canada Research Chair in Ethics, Law & Technology, Faculty of Law, Faculty of Medicine, Department of Philosophy, School of Information Studies, University of Ottawa (
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