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THE ART of Faklng Hypochondrla the ANNUAL

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THE ART of Faklng Hypochondrla the ANNUAL THE ART OF FAKING HYPOCHONDRIA THE ANNUAL CRITIC PUB REVIEW CLIMAXIMUM ISSUE O9 Loulou Callister-Baker explores Critic sent a team out on a pub crawl While many of us find sex simple, April 28, 2014 Dunedin’s Simulated Patient to plot a refreshed take on a good the “how” is often neglected. critic.co.nz Development Unit. PAGE 20 night out. PAGE 24 Josie Adams investigates. PAGE 28 ISSUE O9 April 28, 2014 NEWS & OPINION FEATURES CULTURE ABOVE: From "The immorality of 20 | THE ART OF FAKING HYPOCHONDRIA 32 | LOVE IS BLIND magical With limitations on how much genuine clinical experience a medical 33 | ART thinking" student can expect to get, and with approximately ten per cent of 34 | BOOKS Illustration: patients suffering harm whilst in hospital, there exists a high demand Daniel Blackball for trained medical actors. Critic investigates Dunedin’s Simulated 35 | FASHION Patient Development Unit. 36 | FILM COVER: 18 | CONTINUING CHANGES By Loulou Callister-Baker 38 | FOOD Photography: TO STUDENT LOAN NOW Sam Clark INCLUDE PRISON TIME 39 | GAMES Hyde Street From 1 April 2014, Inland Revenue will be 24 | THE GREAT ANNUAL CRITIC PUB REVIEW 40 | MUSIC 12 April 2014 able to request an arrest warrant for bor- With the likes of regular student jaunts Monkey, The Cook and rowers who knowingly defaulted on their 42 | INTERVIEW Metro now out of business, it’s not quite so easy to plot an evening overseas-based repayment obligation and 44 | LETTERS are about to leave New Zealand. through town. Ever sacrificing our limited free time for the good of the students, Critic sent a small, reluctant team out on a pub crawl to plot a By Josie Cochrane refreshed take on a good night out. 04 | NEWS By Critic “ 08 | DAVID CLARK “A party like New Zealand First is not 11 | SPORT 28 | CLIMAXIMUM going to have a German running it ... I 12 | POLITICS For many of us, sex is simple. We want it, look for it, have it, and then mean, a German with a criminal record!” 14 | NEWS IN BRIEFS start all over again. But for such a sexually active group of people, WINSTON PETERS the student populace knows surprisingly little about the end goal: LEADER OF NZ FIRST 16 | DR. NICK orgasm. Critic explores the body areas and methods for having the 16 | QUEER EYE best time. ” - PAGE 12 17 | SCIENCE, BITCHES! By Josie Adams EDITOR FEATURE WRITER Emma and Liam Sydney Lehman CONNECT Critic is a member of the Sophie Edmonds Andrew Kwiatkowski Aotearoa Student Press Zane Pocock Josie Adams Association (ASPA). Disclaimer: Baz Macdonald Richard Ley-Hamilton the views presented within this NEWS EDITOR CHIEF REPORTER READ ONLINE: Adrian Ng Olivier Jutel CRITIC.CO.NZ OR publication do not necessarily Claudia Herron Josie Cochrane represent the views of the Editor, CONTRIBUTORS DISTRIBUTOR ISSUU.COM/CRITIC_TE_AROHI Planet Media, or OUSA. FEATURES EDITOR NEWS INTERNS David Clark Max Pocock Loulou Callister-Baker Nina Harrap Press Council: people with a Alex Carroll GET IN TOUCH: Laura Munro ONLINE CONTENT MANAGER complaint against a magazine SUB EDITOR Allison Hess [email protected] should first complain in writing to Oli Cameron FB.COM/CRITICTEAROHI the Editor and then, if not satisfied Max Prestidge SECTION EDITORS Julie Reichenback with the response, complain to Daniel Lormans Dr. Nick PLANET MEDIA AD SALES TWEET: @CRITICTEAROHI TECHNICAL DESIGNER the Press Council. Complaints Carys Goodwin Orion Josh Hannagan should be addressed to the Sam Clark (03) 479 5335 Hannah Collier Laura Illston Elaine Oldham Secretary, PO Box 10-879 P.O. BOX 1436, The Terrace, Wellington. DESIGNER & ILLUSTRATOR Tohora Te Maiharoa Tom Tremewan Laura Starling DUNEDIN Daniel Blackball Rosie Howells Chelsea Boyle 2 | Issue 09 Critic EDITORIAL EDITORIAL 09 THat HOLIDAY was HARD sincerely dislike public holidays. I under- I stand that many others do, too. Before I explain, I feel the need to emphasise that I am a big supporter of increasing workers’ rights. I’m not at all a fan of what currently seems to be an inevitable enslavement by employment, I understand the importance of family time, and after editing Critic for just two months I definitely understand why people need holidays. But let’s be honest here. Public holidays are a momentous pain in the ass. You have to plot your life well ahead of the one-hour window that most of us operate by (even the damn supermarkets are closed) and if you do so happen to find a business that’s open, you’ll get whacked with a whopping great surcharge. It also strikes me that cell phones and emails have made public holidays rather useless, anyway. It seems that although everyone else conveniently hides from the day, there’s always something urgent that you need to do; some piece of work that you’ve been meaning to catch up on or a task that a family member pushes your way. As for Easter, in particular, can someone please remind us why one can’t buy alcohol, even if you are fortunate enough to stumble across a shop that stayed open? Everyone, of course, has a right to religion – it’s the sort of right that should always be defended even by those it doesn’t strictly apply to. But on the same note, we should be stepping back to think when a nationwide affiliation with religion restricts everyone else’s increasingly being lost, anyway. And if any of the Anniversary being observed by the University lives. Alcohol does a lot of societal harm; so much days we currently celebrate do have particular last Tuesday, and our printers being closed for so that I could almost entertain the thought of meaning to an individual, there’d be nothing ANZAC Day on Friday, last week technically saw - PAGE 12 having an arbitrary alcohol awareness day that stopping them from cashing in their holidays Critic forced into a one-day production cycle. restricted its sale. But please don’t link it up with on the same days as we’re currently forced into. Now, we’re all rather dedicated here, so this isn’t a religious holiday. strictly true, but making Critic requires endless I don’t know, maybe there are international rea- phone calls, content sourcing, and coffee runs. So how many such holidays do we have? sons for certain areas closing up. For example, With most of these unable to be achieved until 11 all-up, by my count, if you include Otago perhaps there’s no point in the New Zealand print day, it made life pretty difficult. Anniversary. Why don’t we add one more and Stock Exchange operating when everyone else just say that everyone gets the equivalent of a around the world is having a family dinner. My editorial photo has nothing to do with this three-day weekend once a month? That way, whatsoever. But now that I think of it – what entire businesses can simply reshuffle staff and But the question I have is this: why would you would Winston do? Politics Editor Carys Goodwyn not be penalised a day of revenue, and if you make everyone’s life more difficult as a reward interviews him on page 12. want to get a flat white from your favourite cafe for working hard? just around the corner, you can. The meanings Zane Pocock behind these days in the wider populace are Thanks to a combination of Easter Monday, Otago Critic Editor Critic Issue 09 | 3 NEWS HOYTS CLOSURE CORPORATE BATTLE WITH RIVAL READING $5 MILLION SPENT “TO REPLACE A CINEMA NO ONE WOULD BE Proud of” eading Cinemas is set to open in the public sale. “Hoyts had every opportunity to a negative view of how Hoyts ended. “They think middle of 2014, following the unexpect- buy it back then,” said Smith. He says Hoyts it shut down because it wasn’t making enough R ed closure of Hoyts last year. The ODT had an equal opportunity to invest back in money, when in fact it was doing very well.” She reported that Hoyts was forced to close because 2007 as a “much bigger company with much says that “people should know that Hoyts did not it was “unable to negotiate favourable terms” re- bigger resources.” leave because of lack of success.” She described garding the lease renewal. Further investigation, the take-over as a “corporate battle” between however, indicates that Hoyts’ tenancy would Despite the building being converted to a cinema, the two cinema companies. inevitably have come to an end anyway after all furnishing, projectors and even the carpets rival, Reading Cinemas, purchased the building were stripped from the building and sent to Smith says there is “no hard luck story” for seven years ago, presumably with a long term other cinemas nationwide that were in need of the staff because there will be new jobs and intention of having a presence in Dunedin. replacement chattels. Garelli said that “as per the new opportunities. He said delays on opening lease terms, it had to be restored to its original had occurred because the building approval Hoyts’ General Operations Manager, Matthew condition.” This meant they returned it to the took three months and the five million dollar Garelli, said that when the lease was coming to empty concrete block it was received as in 1993. refurbishments are “a good five months’ worth an end in August, they fought hard to renew it but of work.” “negotiations could not be agreed on” and they Smith said that Reading Cinemas did attempt to left the premises in September 2013. Hoyts at- buy the chattels but Hoyts wanted a seven-figure Garelli said it is unlikely Hoyts will relocate tempted to renew their lease with the building’s sum for them, despite the “appalling” conditions in Dunedin because “the market just isn’t big owners but, as it turned out, the landlords also of the furnishings.
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