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Issue 22 | Sept 09, 2013 | critic.co.nz live entertainment from + THE KAIKORAI BAVARIAN BAND, TWO CARTOONS, MATT LANGLEY, THE PROPHET HENS, and PIPSY! + food & brew seminars from top industry gurus STUDENT TICKETS = $19.90 live entertainment from + THE KAIKORAI BAVARIAN BAND, TWO CARTOONS, MATT LANGLEY, THE PROPHET HENS, and PIPSY! + food & brew seminars from top industry gurus STUDENT TICKETS = $19.90 Critic | Issue 22 | 3 EDITOR Sam McChesney DePUTY EDITOR Zane Pocock SUB EDITOR Sarah MacIndoe 20 TeCHNICAL EDITOR FEATURE Sam Clark 20 | The Great Debate: DesIGNER Do Videogames Make Us Violent? Daniel Blackball The latest instalment of the controversial video game series Grand Theft Auto is to be released AD DESIGNER on 17 September. Critic’s Gaming Editor Baz Macdonald tackles the question of whether GTA and Nick Guthrie other video games are making us violent. NEWS TeAM Bella Macdonald, Jamie Breen, FEATURES Jack Montgomerie, Josie Cochrane 24 | When Duty Calls: SECTION EDITORS A Noob’s Journey Charlotte Doyle, Lucy Hunter, How will Josie Adams, Critic’s resident gaming Rosie Howells, Kirsty Dunn, ignoramus, fare the cutthroat world of online Baz Macdonald, Basti Menkes, gaming? With a knowledgeable guide by her side, Raquel Moss, Tristan Keillor Critic pitched Josie headfirst into the world of online gaming, and thereby ruined her week. CONTRIBUTORS Anna Bradley-Smith, Guy McCallum, 28 | Monopoly: The Poor Man’s Jessica Bromell, Josie Adams, Arsenic Thomas Raethel, Phoebe Harrop, It’s right up there with Chess and Snakes & Ladders Tamarah Scott, M and G, Dr. Nick, in the canon of iconic board games. So why does Bryony Leeke, Callum Valentine, Monopoly suck so hard? Tristan Keillor delves into Campbell Ecklein 08 the game’s shady past. NEWS 32 | The Mysterious World of 08 | Captain Cook Bronies Staggering Back to Life In recent years, a bizarre new subculture has sprung The Captain Cook Tavern will be open again up, based on fandom of the television series My within a year, according to a New Zealand Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic. Its predominantly male, adult membership call themselves bronies. architectural firm. But what do we really know about this group? NEWS reGULAR STUFF ADVERTISING SALES 09 | Grinch Continues to Ruin PLANET MEDIA DUNEDIN LIMITED Letters | 06-07 News | 08-19 Tama Walker, Josh Hannagan, EXMSS Elaine Oldham, Tom Tremewan Features | 20-35 Culture | 36-53 10 | Execrable planetmedia.co.nz Critic is a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association [email protected] (ASPA). Disclaimer: the views presented within this publication 13 | Students Learn to Appear Good do not necessarily represent the views of the Editor, Planet Media, or OUSA. Press Council: people with a complaint against and Fuck the World Discreetly a newspaper should first complain in writing to the Editor and P.O. Box 1436, Dunedin | (03) 479 then, if not satisfied with the response, complain to the Press 16 | Switched On Museum to 5335 [email protected] | critic.co.nz Council. Complaints should be addressed to the Secretary, PO Box 10-879 The Terrace, Wellington. Bring Prostitution, Gambling 4 | Issue 22 | Critic EDITORIAL Required equipment: > One die (if you don’t have a die, you can use a random number generator online or down- load a dice app for your phone). > A piece for each player. > Large quantities of lemonade. Rules: > Players can move in any direction, but can- not move in more than one direction on the same turn. > The winner is the player who has drunk the most lemonade when the game ends. > The game ends when one player has jumped over every other player. When this happens, he University has been waging a are less likely to get up in arms about the slow the player in question drinks 10 lemonades, long-standing war on alcohol con- death of Scarfie culture if they don’t feel as and the winner is decided. T sumption among students. In recent though the University is actively killing it. The years we’ve seen the death of the Cook, the odd slip aside (such as her comment that “in an > A player jumps over another player when they Toga Parade, the Bowler, Gardies, the Undie 500, ideal world” people would study instead of going land on or move over a square containing the Two Beers, Backstage, the Cookathon, the Albert to the Hyde Street keg party), Aunty Harlene puts other player’s piece. Arms, and couch burning. Following revelations people at ease. In doing so, she is having a far that the Uni has been attempting to strong-arm great impact on student drinking culture than > The game can be played either with a reward OUSA out of buying a stake in the Cook (see any previous Vice-Chancellor. system (e.g. landing on a square that reads “3 pages 8 and 10 this week) – a bar that the Uni has lemonades” means you are allowed to drink publicly declared it would like to remain open – Of course, what is meant by “Scarfie culture” three lemonades) or an allocation system (“3 it’s worth revisiting this admittedly tired debate. should be up for debate, and simply equating lemonades” means you tell another player to the culture with alcohol is damaging and nar- drink three of their lemonades). In 2009 the University Council banned all alcohol row-minded. But just as many students need advertising from campus. The memorandum to learn moderation in their drinking, so should > Each player picks a “home” square from one circulated to the members of the Council by the Uni learn that young people need balance in of the four corners of the board (Knox, Queen’s then-Vice-Chancellor David Skegg before the their lives and a range of experiences, including Gardens, High Street and Aquinas). Multiple ban was voted on was a spectacularly patron- occasional, unbridled hedonism. By all means, players can choose the same home square. ising and hyperbolic piece of propaganda, which make it safe and supervised – but shutting down nonetheless had the desired effect. Skegg also our pubs is the wrong approach entirely. > Players choose a “rule” for their home square. oversaw the introduction of Campus Watch and This can take the form of, for instance, a chal- the Code of Conduct, both of which have made A side note: for some reason, the Dunedin Craft lenge or an action that a player must perform campus immeasurably safer at night but also Beer and Food Festival has slipped through (e.g. drinking some lemonade, or removing an come armed with petty anti-alcohol powers. the alcohol advertising ban. Just goes to show item of clothing). that the Uni’s okay with piss so long as it’s Skegg’s ham-fisted approach definitely rubbed suitably gentrified. > Whenever one player jumps over another, the students up the wrong way. We have a new Vice- latter is sent back to the former’s home square. Chancellor now in Harlene Hayne. Hayne is far On a completely unrelated topic, we’re excited When you are sent to another player’s home more flexible than Skegg, far more willing to to introduce the Critic board game to help warm square, you must abide by the rule that they engage with students and OUSA, and far savvier. up your flat! The board can be found on the front have chosen. If you refuse to do so, you must If Skegg was the haughty patriarch, Hayne is the and back covers of this issue. The game is de- give away some of your lemonade. smiling assassin. signed for at least four people, and rounds are expected to last 15-30 minutes. Please feel free > Players stay in the game after they have been This is nothing personal against Hayne – she’s to be creative with the rules, and tweak them jumped. They simply move out from their op- actually lovely – but she is playing the long as you see fit! ponent’s home square in the normal manner. game here, and she’s very good at it. Students Critic | Issue 22 | 5 NLEETTERSWS [email protected] Critic’s tower is made from the Seems a bit dodgy. finest ivory Also $1,500? Dear Sir, I am among the hundreds (HAHAHA yeah In your Editorial you denied knowledge of right) who read the list of the clubs and people the Rape Culture when I gave an article on the who got grants. subject, on paper, recently, and in the spirit of I’m pretty sure the highest number on there inquiry you might like to read it. was 1000. Letter of THE weeK Also re the Bowler you claimed ignorance Just seems a bit unfair to all the clubs who and bemoaned the lack of institutional knowl- had to apply and fundraise through the grants edge owing to the ‘shove them through’ policys process. The letter of the week wins a $25 book of the modern age. This is probably along the lines of what Ruby voucher from the University Book Shop. Complaining about knowledge walls is one and Kamil said. thing. The first step of scaling them is dialogue with strangers, and art none of your staff or you -Lot$ of $en$e Cassio would be proud seem capable of, and one which will be essential Dear Romeo and Juliet. when you move into the wider world. This lack Kia ora, After a lengthy walk home from of openness to real world communication is Just thought I’d clear up a few points about town, I finally reached my humble abode. symptomatic of a wider problem ie age segre- the emergency grant that was awarded to the On my front porch was the place at which gation, the ingrowing bunching of peer groups Fire and Circus Club.