Sold! The Art of Relationship Sales Using Emotional Intelligence and Authentic Leadership to Sell More, Work Your Way up the Corporate Ladder, and What to Do Once You Get There Paul C. Darley 1 Table of Contents Introduction from the Author I. Foundation 1. We’re all Salesmen! 2. Emotional Intelligence 3. Authentic Leadership 4. The Darley Way II. The Art of Relationship Sales 5. The 50 P’s of Relationship Sales 6. The Sales Foundation. Building Relationships. Solve a Pain. Follow a Process 7. Separate Yourself from the Pack. Be Professional and Enjoy the Ride 8. Getting to Yes. Overcoming Objections 9. Profitable Sales & Pricing. Making a Buck for You and the Company 10. Concentrate on What’s Most Important. 80/20 is Everywhere! III. You’ve Made it to the C-suite — Now What? 11. Transitioning from a Salesperson to a Leader 12. Advisors are All Around You. Get Help and Give Help 13. Profit and Corporate Social Responsibility 14. Bill Darley Quotes 15. Index of People mentioned in the book 16. Acknowledgements from Friends 17. Summary of the 50 P’s 2 Introduction from the Author I’ve been working on Sold! on and off for the past 10 years. While I always felt an inner calling to write a book, I am somewhat surprised that I’ve completed it. My family and close friends are sick of hearing about it, and my youngest daughter, Sophie, even called me, “The boy who cried book.” I had a goal to complete this book by the time I turned 50. I missed that by a few years, but I feel a great sense of accomplishment to check off this box. It’s been a labor of love. I’ve been working on it mostly on weekends and evenings, while on planes and vacations. I’m kind of worried about what I will do during these times now that I have finished Sold! The essence of this book is about relationships; how a salesperson can increase sales and make the transition to a business leader by using emotional intelligence and authentic leadership as a springboard. While it’s a business book, most of the principles can be applied to enriching any relationship. This book is dedicated to my family and friends. Most importantly, it’s a testament to my father, William J. “Bill” Darley, from whom most of these ideas came. As he approaches the end of his incredible life, I felt a need to document Bill’s stories, and mine, for future generations of Darleys who I know will be good stewards for our fourth- generation family business. It is a toolbox or playbook of sorts, for them and future generations of Darley employees and family members. I don’t expect Sold! to be a best seller, but I signed a contract with Smart Business in November 2012 to publish it. My plan was to publish it within a year for distribution to my family, friends, employees and business associates. Thanks for bearing with me as I share stories and the lessons I’ve learned from them. I’ve highlighted the key business take-aways for the reader who is under time constraints, looking for just the “meat and potatoes.” In August of 2013, when I thought I was about done, something happened that made me decide to expand the scope of my book. An interesting story: My wife, Heidi, and I were at a black-tie party with a business associate, Jeff Hupke, and his wife, Molly, who were our guests. The party had a carnival theme, with clowns and guys on stilts. In the corner was a fortune teller, with a long line of people waiting to have their futures read. None of us had ever been to one before, so we grabbed a drink and got in line. The gypsy was spot-on in describing my guests and my wife. I was next, and shuffled the tarot cards before randomly pulling out four cards. She turned over the first card and asked what trains had to do with my life. I explained that I just finished my civic duty serving on the board of Metra, the commuter rail that serves Chicago. It was fraught with Illinois politics, and I had just resigned that week amidst another front-page news scandal. She turned over the second card and asked about China. I explained I was headed there the following week. It was our largest export market and consumed 25 percent of 3 my time. With the third card, the fortune teller asked if a family member had recently asked for a loan. Sure enough, that had just happened, too. When she turned over the last card, she asked if I was writing a book, to which we all gasped. She said it would be life-changing for me. I’m not so sure about all this stuff, but as Bill Murray said in my favorite movie Caddy Shack, “At least I got that going for me, which is nice.” In rewriting this book, I was primarily looking for data to support my thesis that companies run by CEOs with a sales background are more profitable than companies run by CEOs who did not come up through sales. I wanted to include additional research to make it more professional and support my theories outlined in the book. The more I researched, the more I learned. While I was cognizant of my own potential confirmation bias, the research supported my theory. If you are reading the electronic version of this book, it includes links to over 100 articles and videos that I discovered during my research. If you’re reading the print version, you can Google the name shown and quickly find a link. All links are available on my website www.soldbypauldarley.com, where you can get to any link quickly. The website also has a library of tools and a blog where you can leave your mark by adding your own tips and thoughts on emotional intelligence, authentic leadership and best sales practices. We would love to hear your stories and ideas that can help others. I credit my close friend Bill Ryan, CEO of William Ryan Homes, with the name Sold!. This book could have easily been named “Souled!”, as recommended by my younger sister, Annie Darley, a school teacher who pushed me to use this “homophone” because of the emotional intelligence and relationship aspects of the book. Thanks also to Annie and Mark Baker, general managers of our Pump Division, and other friends and family who, along with Smart Business, helped me edit this book. Life is a journey. Everyone is different. I’m excited to be able to share my thoughts on selling, emotional intelligence and authentic leadership, as well as document my life’s journey. Like some of you, I experienced a great deal of death of family and close friends at an early age — from my brother, mother, and best friend, Vinnie Kerr, before I was 25 years old — and more recently my sister, Krina, and dear friend, Kris Kosich, who both died way too early. I learned from each experience and came to realize that life is too short. I learned early on to seize the day, work hard and hopefully leave my mark. Carpe Diem! I am positive that within these pages you will find a nugget or two of wisdom that will make you happier person and a more successful sales representative or leader. If you’re already a business leader, I hope that you find an idea or two to pass along to your people to help your organization improve and grow. If you find the book helpful, please recommend it to a friend as I’ll be donating the profits from this edition to charity. Thanks for reading it! 4 Good Selling, Paul C. Darley October 2017 5 SECTION I THE FOUNDATION 6 Chapter 1 - We’re all salesmen! “A good salesman can sell himself before he sells his product.” Anwar Aleitani, GE Energy I’m proud to be a salesman, but 25 years ago my image as a sales professional took a small, personal hit. I needed my attorney to review some legal documents. It was after hours, and he lived near my home, so I offered to drop them off at his house. His wife answered the door and snarled, “What do you want?” I was really taken aback and replied, “I’m Paul Darley. I’m here to drop off these papers for your husband.” “Oh, my gosh, Mr. Darley,” she said. “I’m sorry! I thought you were a salesman.” There it was — the unintentional dig. And yet, she was sharing a very common misconception: salesmen are beneath contempt, untrustworthy, slime. I couldn’t let that comment stand. “I am a salesman!” I proclaimed. While that incident is long behind me, the emotion and feeling attached to salesmen1 lingers on. Salesmen get a bad rap. Just think of the bile attached to the term “snake oil salesman,” or the cliché of the “used-car salesman.” Sure, bad salespeople exist everywhere, and there far too many who shamefully deserve the dark thoughts that floated through the mind of my attorney’s wife as I approached her door. But that goes for every profession. There are bad attorneys, bad teachers, bad bartenders, and the list goes on for every profession. Part of the reason for the negative connotations is that no one likes to be “sold.” We all like to believe that we can make our own decisions without the influence of others.