Often a biological sex freak will be afflicted with more than one syndrome. This “gentleman” here has male and female sex characteristics and thus is somewhat HERMAPHRODITIC. But his unacceptably small excuse for male genitalia also shows that homeboy has a touch of the ol’ , too.

This patient a short neck that is often webbed, a manifests the barren womb, swollen hands, spotted PERSIS- large breasts and pigmentation, turned-out elbows, and TENT paunchy belly of small breasts spaced widely apart KLINEFELTER’S with inverted nipples. CLOACA SYNDROME, and still he wonders AFFECTS: why he can’t get FEMALES ONLY a date. MICROPENIS FREQUENCY AFFECTS: MALES ONLY OF OCCUR- 1 PER 20,000 FREQUENCY OF OCCUR- RENCE: FEMALE BIRTHS RENCE: 1 PER 165 MALE BIRTHS The , SUMMARY: The is normally SUMMARY: shaped and fully functional, yet hilari- vagina, and urethra con- ously small. In extremely rare cases— verge into one nauseating, an estimated one in 30 million—there funnel-like drainage hole locat- isn’t even the suggestion of a penis. ed somewhere in the “taint” area or all higher living creatures, nature has drawn a strict, between the clitoris and buttocks. sharp dividing line between two genders. Only lower life Poop, pee, and vaginal sludge mingle MALES ONLY forms such as germs and viruses can be considered AFFECTS: PENILE TORSION freely. Corrective surgery is costly, complicated, and risky. Ftruly “intersexual.” FREQUENCY OF OCCURRENCE: 1 PER 300 MALE MALES ONLY AFFECTS: BIRTHS Sometimes, though, nature fucks up. All human fetuses are FREQUENCY OF OCCURRENCE: Many men have it to The urethral meatus (pee-hole) is located any- XYY SYNDROME initially asexual cumstains, but around the three-month mark SUMMARY: some degree; not considered problematic unless penis is off-kilter more MALES ONLY most have the good sense to start heading toward the room where on the penis but where it should be, almost like the hole on than one-eighth of a turn. AFFECTS: marked either LADIES or GENTS. In thankfully rare instances, the a flute. FREQUENCY OF OCCURRENCE: 1 PER 1,000 SUMMARY: The penis head and/or shaft is twisted like a MALE BIRTHS wires get crossed, chromosomes misfire, and out plops a sexual corkscrew, for some reason almost always in a counterclockwise monster with genitals that are either deformed or—worse—of HERMAPHRODITISM direction. SUMMARY: An extra “Y” chromosome gives these “super- indeterminate gender. males” extra height, testosterone, and acne. They have wide AFFECTS: HARD TO TELL Historically, biological sex freaks have been stigmatized and shoulders, thin hips, hairy bodies, and huge balls. Some evidence ostracized. If not outright murdered by an angry mob of normals FREQUENCY OF OCCURRENCE: TRIPLE-X SYNDROME suggests they are more prone toward lower intelligence and ”TRUE” VERSON—1 PER 83,000 LIVE BIRTHS AFFECTS: FEMALES ONLY higher criminality. with normal genitals, they were forced to undergo brutal, life- “PSEUDO” VERSION—1 PER 500 LIVE BIRTHS threatening surgical procedures to correct their highly unsexy FREQUENCY OF OCCURRENCE: 1 PER 1,000 FEMALE birth defects. SUMMARY: A “true” hermaphrodite’s internal sex organs con- BIRTHS tain both ovarian and testicular tissue. In some cases, this means a DOUBLE VAGINA Their psychosexual scars leave them violated, wounded, and An extra “X” chromosome causes these “metafe- ball on one side and an ovary on the other; in others, it means SUMMARY: AFFECTS: FEMALES ONLY males” or “superfemales” to lag behind the curve in terms of intelli- afraid of genuine intimacy. Not to mention the shame, distress, hybrid beasties known as “ovatestes.” To the naked eye, their 1 PER 1,000 gence and emotional maturity. FREQUENCY OF OCCURRENCE: self-hatred, and second-guessing that afflict their parents on a external genitals tend to be iffy—maybe it’s a big clit, perhaps it’s FEMALE BIRTHS However, this is more than atoned near-hourly basis. a teeny weenie, perchance it’s some unholy peno-vaginal mish- for by the fact that these gals are A super- It is a sad and lonely world these freaks inhabit. They ARE dif- mash. Pseudo-hermaphrodites have the chromosomes and internal SUMMARY: tall, leggy, buxom, and wide- fluous fleshy wall ferent from us. Far, far different. As normal, superior, genitally sex organs of only one gender while their external protuberances hipped with super-thin waists. divides the vagina like intact human beings, we are duty-bound to look after them. To are, again, anyone’s guess. an oriental room pity them. We are to reach out with paternalistic con- divider splits an apart- descension across the chasm that separates us ment in two. Upon loss from these deformed textbook specimens. KLINEFELTER’S SCROTAL of virginity, one section In keeping with such a spirit of inner revul- SYNDROME TRANSPOSI- stretches and assumes sion masked as patronizing charity, I present the role of “dominant” AFFECTS: MALES ONLY TION to you a Dirty Dozen of genetically induced sex vagina. The other half 1.5 PER AFFECTS: MALES ONLY syndromes. Approach with care, and don’t fall FREQUENCY OF OCCURRENCE: becomes as cramped 1,000 MALE BIRTHS FREQUENCY OF OCCUR- as a broom closet and in love. Common enough that I SUMMARY: An extra “X” chromosome or two leads to RENCE: thus infinitely more above-average height, tiny nuts, low testosterone, sub-par could find several disgusting photos desirable. intelligence, sterility, and in some cases, embarrassing man- of it on the Internet, but not so much DIPHALLIA boobs. that I could find a single estimate of Most chromosomal aberrations its frequency. render their victims repellent, unfuck- AFFECTS: MALES ONLY able ogres. Not so with TRIPLE-X 1 PER SUMMARY: The penis and FEMALES, whose extra “X” chromo- FREQUENCY OF OCCURRENCE: some makes them taller and leggier 2.5 MILLION MALE BIRTHS TURNER’S SYNDROME switch places. The ball- FEMALES ONLY sac is positioned above than most ladies. It also gives them AFFECTS: larger breasts, thinner waists, and SUMMARY: One man, TWO ! In many Society is frequently cruel and the johnson and resembles FREQUENCY OF OCCURRENCE: 1 PER 2,500 uncaring toward those who suffer wider hips than the average gal. cases, it is actually only one penis split along the elephant ears surrounding Although not verified at the time of shaft. But the extremely rare “true diphallia” features FEMALE BIRTHS from “genital anomalies,” and often with good reason. I mean, would YOU the trunk. publication, it is suspected that horror- anything from two distinct dickie-heads to two fully SUMMARY: The absence of a crucial “X” chromosome results fuck this? movie icon VAMPIRA was blessed with developed urogenitary tracts. in average adult heights of 4’7”, a sad-looking “triangular” face, this sexy “wasp woman”syndrome.