felixonline.co.uk @felixImperial /FelixImperial felix@imperial.ac.uk Keeping the cat free since 1949 issue 1603 May 1st 2015 Professor Stefan Grimm: internal Inside... Let’s pick apart review results released Poldark External academics criticise findings: “Imperial just doesn’t get it.” Page 5

Television 30

Things are heating up in Chile

Travel 28-29

The sweet taste of the Avengers Taking Film 31-34

Volleyball club celevbrate the What YOU need victory in BUCS finals to know about the General Election

lead Pages 7-14 Sport 40 2 01.05.2015 THE STUDENT PAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FELIX This week’s issue... [email protected] Felix Editor Philippa Skett CONTENTS EDITORIAL TEAM Editor-In-Chief PHILIPPA SKETT News 3-5 Deputy Editor PHILIP KENT Comment 6 Treasurer General Election 7-15 THOMAS LIM Technical Hero Science 16 LUKE GRANGER-BROWN Features 18-19 News Editors CAROL ANN CHEAH KUNAL WAGLE Arts 23-25 CECILY JOHNSON Music 26-27 Comment Editor TESSA DAVEY Travel 28-29 Technology Editors JAMIE DUTTON Television 30 OSAMA AWARA Film 31-33 Science Editors LAUREN RATCLIFFE Hangman 34-36 JAMES BEZER Games Editors Puzzles 37-38 MAX EGGL CALUM SKENE Sport 39-40 Arts Editors FRED FYLES What’s on this KAMIL McCLELLAND Music Editors week: GRACE RAHMAN Television Editors Medics’ Light Opera GIULIA GABRIELLI 24-Hour Musical JOHN PARK May 2nd, 19:00, Union Film Editors ELLEN MATHIESON Concert Hall JACK STEADMAN JOHN PARK ISCM Light Opera Society return to perform a musical Web Editor learnt and rehearsed in just JUNE GAN 24 hours. Fashion Editor CECILE BORKHATARIA The cast and crew find out the show on Friday night, Food Editors before spending the entire CAROL ANN CHEAH night and day getting ready Travel Editor for curtain up on Saturday. YUNG NAM CHEAH

Skett’s been listening to the Politics Editor Mamma Mia soundtrack JOSHUA RENKEN all week, so take it from Hangman Editor her: musicals are great. You ED MILIBAE should go to one. Welfare Editors DIBA ESBATI General Election Live CHANON WONGSATAYANONT in the Felix Office Clubs and Societies Editor May 7th, 23:30, Felix Office BEN HOWITT Don’t forget to vote! Sport Editor Planning on staying up all KUNAL WAGLE night to follow the #GE2015 results? Us too! Come to the Felix Office after we’ve got COPY EDIT TEAM next week’s paper out to 7th May watch the results unfold. Copy Chiefs CEM HURRELL Come if you like politics, JACK STEADMAN come if you don’t, we don’t TESSA DAVEY mind. I don’t even know JONATHAN MASTERS what politics is. Felix, Offices Printed by Iliffee Print Cambridge, Winship Beit Quad, Prince Consort Road, Road, Cambridge. Copy Editors CEM HURRELL Planning another Library London SW7 2BB TESSA DAVEY all-nighter to catch up on Registered newspaper ISSN 1040-0711 JACK STEADMAN revision? Us neither. Come Email: [email protected] Copyright © Felix BEN HOWITT procrastinate with us, we Tel: 020 7594 8072 MATTIN MIR-TAHMASEBI have Diet Coke. www.felixonline.co.uk CECILY JOHNSON FELIX THE STUDENT PAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON 01.05.2015 3 News [email protected] News Editors Carol Ann Cheah, Cecily Johnson & Kunal Wagle What you may have missed over Easter Carol Ann Cheah recaps some of the last month’s news stories

420: Thousands gather in Hyde Park, more than 50 arrested

As pro-cannabis protesters openly smoked the drug in Hyde Park on April 20 (an annual global celebration of cannabis, where calls for drug law reform take place), police ended up arresting 53 people. 16 were taken into custody, whereas 21 were released on bail and required to return to the station at a later date. Many participants distributed cannabis leaf-shaped flyers and held picket signs, with one notable one reading “Ed Milliband wouldn’t want his own children criminalised for cannabis possession.” Dozens of police officers and prominent police signs saying “Possession of cannabis is illegal” were also noted at the event, with a Met Police Spokesman having said that “anyone seen by an officer openly smoking cannabis in Hyde Park or in the Westminster area could be issued with a warning or face arrest.” The 420 Day event was organised James Dyson outside of Imperial Photo: James Dyson Foundation by a reform-seeking group called NORML UK, along with the UK the Royal College of Art. a shot of DNA with each puncture. Automatic Sentiment Analysis in Cannabis Social Clubs (UKCSC). October 2015 will see the School’s There are many proposed uses for the the Wild, the research will be led by Speaking to the Guardian last year, first ever intake of students, where resulting product; one major idea is to Professor Maja Pantic from Imperial, Greg de Hoedt, president of UKCSC, the initial cohort will first use prevent unsightly burn scars during along with guidance from various gave the following statement: Imperial’s existing facilities. By the healing process. At present, organizations’ experts including “The cannabis community is crying October 2017, teaching is expected to patients have to wait until the healing AOL, Ipsos, Skype, and Kaplan. out for legalization and regulation. move to the new building: the former process is complete before treating Realeyes is known for its technology We encourage growers to register Post Office Building on Exhibition any discoloration and uneven that uses standard computer webcams with UKCSC because we want data Road which was purchased by surfacing with plastic surgery, laser to measure subconscious responses we can present to authorities and Imperial from the Science Museum. resurfacing and/or medical tattooing. from audiences as they view video say: this many people grow cannabis, The new School was made possible One of the key reasons of treatment content. Present-day facial coding this many people are growing for by a £12m donation from the James by introducing DNA into cells is technology and emotion analytics, medicinal purposes; and we can also Dyson Foundation, which is the to reprogram how they respond to including what Realeyes currently establish which strains work with charity’s largest ever single gift. This damage. However, inserting DNA offers to its clients, can measure which illnesses.” is not the first time the Dyson name into cells can be tricky: injections the six universal basic emotions has been involved with Imperial only allow for one cell to receive (anger, fear, disgust, happiness, College London: Sir James Dyson is new DNA at a time, whereas using sadness and surprise), as well as Dyson School of Design a longstanding supporter of the IDE genetically engineered viruses engagement. Realeyes however says Engineering Masters program, and in 2014, Dyson (perfect as they are nature’s experts at that ‘likeability’ is actually a complex Ltd announced a £5m investment in hijacking cell DNA) cannot guarantee emotional state, which automated Launched in late March by a new robotics lab within Imperial. that none of the virus’ genes will emotion measurement technologies Chancellor George Osborne and contaminate the process - something cannot currently detect. It also industrial engineer Sir James Dyson, potentially lethal. The nanoneedle stresses how likeability is directly the new Dyson School of Engineering Bye-bye ouchies: invisible silicon bandage, on the other hand, linked to sales, is the first new engineering mending for the human body "...build will be safer and more efficient at With names like Adobe, Google, department set up at Imperial in on a reprogramming whole tissues. IKEA and Ford on its list of clients, the last two decades. The School will "..police Researchers at Imperial College Realeyes boasts collaborations with be housed at the former Post Office London have developed a novel way worldwide various Fortune 500 brands and a Building on Exhibition Road ended up to treat severe burns and assist in Big Brother really IS variety of publishers. SEWA, which The School will offer three courses organ transplants. The team, led by database watching you: better video will improve the current Realeyes next academic year: a 4-year MEng arresting Molly Stevens from the Institute on how emotion/likeability tracking platform, will build on a worldwide in Design Engineering; and two 53 people, of Biomedical Engineering, have software to be developed database of how ‘likeability’ is linked Masters programs, one in Global designed sheets of silicon bandages ‘likeability’ to emotional reactions. Realeyes Design Engineering and another in 16 were coated with nanoneedles for this is linked to Tech outfit Realeyes, in conjunction says it has recorded the emotional Innovation Design Engineering (IDE). taken into purpose. with Imperial College London, have responses of over 60,000 people The latter, with a 30-year history The idea is that the healing emotional received a €3.64m grant from the in conjunction with answers to formerly under the Department of custody... " capacity of tissues can be boosted European Commision for a project a series of ‘likeability’ questions Mechanical Engineering, is being by microscopically puncturing reactions” to improve the former’s emotion- relating to sharing content and jointly offered in collaboration with thousands of cells at once, delivering tracking technology. Dubbed SEWA: recommendations. 4 01.05.2015 THE STUDENT PAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FELIX News [email protected] News Editors Carol Ann Cheah, Cecily Johnson & Kunal Wagle Ebola may increase cases of malaria Philippa Skett reports on the latest finding from the MRC

he most recent findings incredible 140% in Liberia. This is from the Medical Research equivalent to 3.5 million cases of the TCouncil (MRC) Centre for disease, and a further 10,000 malaria- Outbreak Analysis & Modelling has attributable deaths. Half of these predicted an extra 3.5 million cases cases would affect children under five of malaria as a result of the epidemic. years of age. Researchers based at the Centre have However, the researchers also found also found that the disease hits those that mass drug administration and under one year of age hardest, with distributing more insecticide-treated 90% of those infected dying shortly mosquito nets could mitigate the after. effect somewhat. Results from models developed by “The on-going Ebola epidemic in one research team have found that parts of west Africa… [is] threatening the Ebola epidemic has also resulted to jeopardise progress made in into an additional 3.5 million cases malaria control and elimination over and an additional 10,900 extra deaths the past decade,” said lead author Dr from malaria. Patrick Walker. Ebola workers carry away infected child for decontamination Photo: GlobalResearch Countries hit by Ebola, including “In heavily affected Ebola areas New Guinea, Sierra Leone and Liberia the indirect impact of Ebola upon saw major disruption or closure of malaria deaths is likely to be of a have suffered from the disease since findings show that Ebola affects their healthcare facilities as a result of similar magnitude to the public the epidemic began over a year ago, young children quite differently to the outbreak. health burden caused by cases of and the proportion of those effected adults, and it’s especially important Due to the nature of Ebola and its Ebola directly.” by Ebola who are children is also that we get them into treatment transmission, isolating those infected Another research group based increasing over time. quickly. and ensuring the safety of the at the MRC Centre for Outbreak Their research found that children “We also need to look at whether healthcare workers has overwhelmed Analysis & Modelling, collaborated "The on- infected with Ebola have a shorter young children are getting treatment and disrupted healthcare provisions with the World Health Organisation, going Ebola incubation period then adults, that’s appropriate for their age.” across the three countries, having alongside researchers from the epidemic... with those under one year of age The MRC Centre for Outbreak a knock-on effect on treating those University of Toronto and the on average harbouring the virus Analysis and Modelling is based at with other ailments. University of British Columbia to [is] for 6.9 days before presenting with Imperial’s St Mary’s Campus, in West The researchers then modelled the address the demographics the disease threatening symptoms. London. effect removal of healthcare would is hitting hardest. to jeopardise Not only that, but the researchers Founded in 2007, the Centre aims have on these numbers. They used The group of researchers found that found that symptoms are generally "Ebola to research disease spread to better demographic and health survey data the disease progresses more quickly progress different for those of different ages. affects young prepare for and shape responses to from 2000 up until the first Ebola and is more likely to be fatal for made in Younger children are less likely to children epidemics. outbreak in March 2014. children under five. 90% of children malaria present with abdominal, joint or Those working at the Centre are They found that without any under the age of one fall fatal to the muscle pain, but are more likely to quite currently analysing and modelling medical care whatsoever, the number disease too, compared to 80% of those control and have a fever. differently the spread of diseases such as SARS, of cases of malaria rise by 45% in infected that are aged one to four. elimination" Professor Christl Donnelly, a to adults." avian flu, swine flu, alongside Ebola Guinea, 88% in Sierra Leone, and an Nearly 4,000 children under sixteen co-author of the study, said: “These and malaria. Weeks to remain closed despite student protests

PHILIPPA SKETT when, back in February, council or College have yet to accept this would entail yet. FELIX EDITOR initially voted to allow the closure of responsibility for not informing the Wheeler also noted in his report the Weeks hall, after being told the residents of the hall of the closure. that Pembridge hall will remain open space could be used for childcare to The hall committee then arranged for a further three years, although make the university more attractive a petition to call for an emergency its derelict annex at the top of the eeks hall is to remain to female academics. council meeting in March, and building and the surrounding garden closed for the next However the first vote resulted residents of the halls turned up in will be converted into houses, that Wacademic year despite in equal number of students being large numbers to argue the benefits of will then be sold to fund other college students petitioning to save the space, either for or against campaigning to keeping the hall open. Union Council ventures. and the student Union Council voting save the hall. A second vote ran saw then voted again, this time in favour An Imperial spokesperson told to campaign against the closure. the council narrowly deciding not to of campaigning against the closure. Felix: The internal structure and The Imperial College Union campaign against the closure. Chris Kaye, Deputy President listed status of the building means President, Tom Wheeler, announced Weeks hall committee members (Welfare) is also liaising with the "Union it would be difficult to refurbish in his report to council detailing his were left outraged at the decision, director of Human Resources, Council then it as a hall of residence to bring it recent activity that he was unable especially since they were not Louise Lindsey, to ensure there will voted again, in line with the standards of other to overturn the decision to close the consulted before the announcement be maximised space available for accommodation. These structural hall, after contacting Muir Sanderson, "...unable to close the hall reached Council. childcare provision with the Weeks this time in issues mean there is little scope for The Chief Financial Officer of the to overturn Recruitment for hall seniors was building. favour of expansion in bed spaces, rendering college. Wheeler was told that the the decision already underway at the time, as Property in the North of Princes campaigning the refurbishment cost per bed space Provost board has already made the the residents were all under the Gardens will also be used for various prohibitive. decision, and they were not prepared to close the assumption the hall would still be in purposes, which will be primarily against the “Imperial is currently exploring to overturn their decision. hall" use for the next academic year. ‘academic’ related, although no closure" other options for the future use of the This follows the furore last term Neither Imperial College Union specifics have been released as to what site.” FELIX THE STUDENT PAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON 01.05.2015 5 News [email protected] News Editors Carol Ann Cheah, Cecily Johnson & Kunal Wagle

Review in response to Grimm’s death completed Results criticised by external academics: “Imperial doesn’t get it.”

PHILIPPA SKETT programme grant in the next FELIX EDITOR twelve months, he would have to consider taking further, formal action in accordance to the College’s he inquest into the death of current policies for managing poor Professor of toxicology Stefan performance. TGrimm, 51, took place last The internal review conducted month, six months after he was found by Imperial outlined how Grimm dead in his own home in Northwood, was actually under what is known Middlesex. informal review for nearly two years The inquest heard how Grimm was but no further formal action was at the informal stage of the College’s taken in relation to his progress. performance management process The review stated that: “the formal after struggling to acquire enough stages would have provided more grant money for research, months clarity to Professor Grimm on process before his death. The inquest ruled and support through the written that Grimm had taken his own life by documentation, representation at asphyxiating himself. meetings and HR involvement.” On April 7th The West London However, other staff that had been Coroner’s Court also heard the report through performance management from Imperial’s internal review of (similar to that undergone by Grimm) staff policies in response to Grimm’s also contacted the reviewers, with death, which featured recommended it being noted in that: “there were changes, including increasing support a number of cases where staff did for struggling staff members. not feel that they had received the The senior coroner, Chinyere support that they needed.” Inyama, noted how the funding issues The review also addressed the were clearly mounting stress on the training of management staff, the professor, and cited Grimm’s death as timescale and progression of informal “needless.” and formal review processes, and Stegfan Grimm was a professor of toxiology at Imperial, and was struggling to acquire funding Photo: Imperial However, Imperial’s own director the resources available from HR for of Human Resources, Louise Lindsay, disciplinary procedures. of Oxford, stated that targets in “Stefan will be greatly missed by colleagues and collaborators around who led the internal review, admitted The recommendations included academia related to performance and his current and former lab partners, the world.” at the inquest that the changes still introducing performance and achieving grant need to be abolished. might not have prevented Grimm’s disciplinary training to managers and Bishop said in the letter: “I am suicide. requesting that managers notify the distressed to find that Imperial just An Imperial spokesperson has Human Resources department before doesn’t get it, and seems to think that since told Felix that “Given the putting employers under informal it can avoid future tragedies by just Alice Gast: Professors are complex nature of suicide, it would be review. “managing” people and “supporting” impossible to answer with certainty The review also suggested that them in dealing with the crazy targets under pressure and they have a whether any action taken by the template emails and letters should that they are confronted with.” College could have resulted in a be created for correspondence David Colquhoun, a professor lot on their plates different outcome.” concerning performance of pharmacology from University The internal review has also been management, and that HR also College London, criticised the new Alice Gast, the President of an environment in which heavily criticised online by other reviews all correspondence before recommendations as being steeped Imperial, was asked about Grimm everyone understands what academics based at Oxford University being sent. in bureaucracy, and stated the and the pressures on academics is expected of him or her, how and University College London. The report concluded with suggestions would simply act as a on Radio 4 just last month. they are supported in meeting Grimm’s death hit national recommendations for improvements “Smokescreen for carrying on as at Tanya Beckett, presenter of the expectations and able to perform headlines last October after a that were presented to the provost present.” Today Programme said to Gast: to their best. posthumous email sent in his name board on the 27th February. The He also said when Grimm’s email “Professor Stefan Grimm took his “Stefan’s colleagues supported accused Imperial of mistreatment of recommendations were accepted. first surfaced, that “It just seems own life at the end of last year… him and made great efforts to staff and stated that: “This is not a The review was completed by Imperial are doing their best to that is a demonstration that help him achieve the success he university anymore but a business.” Lindsey and the Senior Consul, whitewash it. They rarely get to the pressures in the academic world sought. He continued: “What these guys Professor Richard Thompson, heart of the matter.” can become unbearable.” “In the months since Stefan’s don’t know is that they destroy lives. and was sent by James Stirling, the Grimm was working on developing Gast did not address the death Imperial has examined Well, they certainly destroyed mine.” Provost of the College, to all heads treatments for cancer, and he had death of the Professor directly, more broadly how it supports In his email, time stamped as sent of department. He has since received already published four papers in that talking about the importance staff during performance reviews. after his death, Grimm explained how further feedback, that he said in an year based on his research. of collaboration in research, In March all members of Imperial he had received an “ultimatum email” all staff email sent on Tuesday that The Reporter, Imperial’s own although she did state that: staff received the report and from Professor Martin Wilkins, his they will be taking on board when in-house staff newsletter, published “Professors are under pressure recommendations of a review into line manager, in March of last year, implementing the recommendations. an obituary for Grimm, five months and they have a lot on their plates, this subject, with all staff invited detailing how Grimm was being However, some academics after his death. professors are like small business to respond. placed under informal review. have criticised the suggested Written by colleagues from his owners…it is a highly competitive “The College is currently working Wilkins explained that although improvements, stating that they Apoptosis research group, they world out there.” through these responses he was aware of Grimm’s dedication simply add more bureaucracy, or are described Grimm as a “terrific An Imperial spokesperson as part of its preparations to try and find funding, he was still unlikely to make a difference. mentor, deeply committed to all the released a statement to Felix for implementing the “struggling to fulfil the metrics of a In a letter posted on the Times projects running in his lab… he was a yesterday, saying that: “Imperial recommendations in the report.” Professorial post at Imperial College.” Higher Education website, Dorothy very gentle and caring person, a man has a duty of care to all who Wilkins then stated that should Bishop, a professor of developmental of his word, working tirelessly for his work for it. We strive to create PHILIPPA SKETT Grimm fail to secure a £200,000 neuropsychology at the University students and postdoctoral scientists. FELIX THE STUDENT PAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON 01.05.2015 6 Comment [email protected] Comment Editor Tessa Davey It doesn’t take much effort to vote Thomas Lim asks why students don’t care about the election

onversations with friends politician an opportunity to pander around campus have reminded to them, and the issues which most Cme that those of us keenly concern them. If we do not vote, following the General Election are we give them the opportunity to in the minority. Hardly surprising overlook us. given that it’s exam season, but it A common complaint is that doesn’t take much effort to go and politics is stage managed and clean vote next Thursday. What surprised these days - it all just seems a bit me more was how people hadn’t boring. registered, believing their vote was We can thank Tony Blair for either worthless or would not make a starting this unfortunate trend, but a difference. lot of work has gone in to taking the In case it isn’t obvious enough, spin out of elections, for example the pledges and manifestos from parties excellent website voteforpolicies.org.uk are not about creating a balanced set allows you to compare your views on of policies for the country, but instead various topics with the main political reaching out to groups of voters who "People parties. are likely to vote. Forty one percent of hadn’t These children have less apathy about this election than the average The constituencies most Imperial young people said they will definitely Imperial student. Photo: Scholastic students live in are not particularly vote, but compare that with seventy registered, marginal, meaning the chances of the five percent of over sixties who will believing account and making our views clear. their votes to make their views clear. party elected in that seat changing definitely vote; you can see who the their vote Students in Nick Clegg’s Without this, we have no way of are low. This should not make a parties really want to engage with. constituency have made their views holding MPs to account, and no way difference to whether you vote or Pensioners have had a was either perfectly clear, with a number of to make it clear that we as young "We exist not. When election strategists are comparatively easy ride over the last worthless them planning to vote tactically so he people are as equally important as and are a planning their next campaigns, they few years thanks to various policies or would loses his seat (the sore feeling over a other demographic groups. group which will be interested in the demographics set by the Government. Can you broken promise of tuition fees does The act of not voting merely of the electorate, and who votes. By blame politicians for behaving like not make a not wear off, it seems). enforces the idea that we are not must be simply turning up to the ballot box, this? Probably, but if we are not difference" Whilst I do not agree with them, I engaged and do not matter. An considered." we remind them that we exist and are voting, we are not holding them to admire the fact that they are using undecided voter, however, gives the a group which must be considered. Will our government be reborn this Spring?

of the coexistence of the Christian the episode: his zombie-like return Eastertide and residues of spring to the political scene, just two days fertility rituals in rural areas. Both after he no doubt commemorated the main parties seem to have had a the resurrection of Christ, throws similar confusion about the meaning into sharp relief his megalomaniac of these terms in the run up to the identification with the figure who has election. become the object of his messianic First comes the return of Tony faith. Blair to the political scene. It is rare The Tories, on the other hand, I find myself in agreement with the have rediscovered growth economics Daily Mail, but surely the man can but with a catch: we will have more only be described as toxic? The one spending and more austerity! The fact thing Miliband had going for him that the logic of growth economics CHRISTY KELLY was his opposition to the Iraq War. requires state intervention during COMMENT WRITER Perhaps I overestimate the negative times of recession to promote growth effect Blair will have; I have friends and that state spending during times n some accounts of the who have said that the Labour Party of growth is at best economically ‘Constantinian shift’ towards ‘chose the wrong Miliband.’ Since superfluous and at worst damaging Christianity as the state religion the estimable socialist intellectual seems to have largely escaped a I th of the Roman Empire in the 4 Ralph Miliband is dead and will party obsessed with the two contrary century CE, part of the political (alas!) probably remain so, one can desires of staying in power and a efficacy of the move came through only presume that these remarks punitive neoliberalism – which has the assimilation to Christianity refer to the elder brother David: historically failed in its promise of a variegated iconography and defender of extraordinary rendition to be the most efficient policy for diverse social practices associated and other human rights abuses, no growth, never mind the most just. David Cameron celebrates the new life of Spring on Easter Sunday. Photo: with older paganisms. While as doubt taking the US on faith that Actually, this criticism assumes that Huffington Post historical interpretation such ‘advanced interrogation techniques’ the Tories are right in thinking that accounts are a little too ‘Dan Brown’, such as ‘rectal rehydration’ can’t be growth will continue. Yet the ‘great the City a magnet for continental foundations in the world turtle of the general idea does point nicely all that bad, really. On the whole, economic recovery’ we are witnessing surpluses, sanctuary as it is for the myth and the Tories have built their to a bizarre semantic association in though, Blair’s resurrection seems to is a less rebirth than stillbirth, twin pillars of deregulation and policies in the belief that, as someone the English language: that of rebirth have been recognised as a bad move. epiphenomenon that it is of the rampant inequality, but the situation once told Bertrand Russell, “it’s and resurrection, largely a product There is just one nice irony about crisis in Europe. The crisis has made will not last. These pillars have their turtles all the way down”. The Felix guide to the General Election 2015 8 01.05.2015 THE STUDENT PAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FELIX The General Election 2015 Everything you need to know to cast your vote Elections in the Imperial students most likely to UK: A guide for vote Conservative, Felix poll finds dummies What is a general election?

PHILIPPA SKETT Every 5 years, residents of the UK are able to vote FELIX EDITOR on candidates to represent them in the House of Commons. The UK is split into areas of roughly equal population size, called constituencies. Each constituency will have several MP candidates standing of students for election, with candidates often being affiliated with will be a main political party. Those that are not are called 35% voting for “Independent” candidates. the Conservative party this year, although a further 30% will be giving What are the main political parties in the the Labour party their vote, our Felix UK? opinion poll shows. Only 18% of students are voting for Three parties usually dominate the House of Commons, the liberal democrats, a significant which are the Conservative party, the Labour party and drop in numbers since the last general the Liberal Democrats. However, many other parties election poll that took place in 2010, may secure a small number of seats, including the when 56% said they would cast their Green Party, or the United Kingdom Independence vote for Nick Clegg and his crew. 9% Party (UKIP). Each party has various political views and of students said they would vote for stances, which their MP candidates will generally also the Green Party, whilst 5% said they be in favour of. would be giving Farage the seal of approval and voting for UKIP. How many MPs are there? We asked a total of 189 students how likely they will be voting next There is one per constituency, and there are 650 Thursday in the General Elections; constituencies across the whole of the UK. incredibly, 80% of students who In London due to the high population density, responded said they were very likely there are 73 different constituencies, but generally to vote, with only 6% of respondents cities have far fewer. The whole of Wales only has 40 saying that they probably wouldn’t constituencies for example, whilst Scotland has 59. bother. There are around 50,000 to 70,000 people in each When we asked students to list what were most interested in. from electionforcast.co.uk, at the time constituency. topics mattered most to them, 34% Compared with other universities, of print, there are similar trends of respondents said the Economy was it seems Imperial has mirrored between the two datasets, although it Who can be an MP? their primary concern, and a further national student statistics. In a should be noted that the number of 17% said they were most interested in survey questioning more than individuals voting for a party does “34% of Anyone can stand as a Member of Parliament; they healthcare. 9% of respondents listed 13,000 students nationwide, Labour not reflect the percentage of seats respondents simply need to be a British or Irish Commonwealth Education as the top topic that they and Conservative parties came up MPs will obtain in Parliament. said the citizen, and over 18. They cannot be a public official or were most interested in. as equally popular, with 31% of the Conservative are expected to win officeholder. Not surprisingly, none of the vote each. St Andrews students are 279 out of the 650 seats available, Economy respondents listed pensions, local most likely to vote for Conservative with Labour coming up close with was their Who decides who is Prime Minister? government or rural affairs as topics candidates, whilst the Green Party 270. Liberal Democrats are looking at they were most concerned about, has amassed a strong support with securing 27 seats, with UKIP and the primary You cannot vote on who is Prime Minister, as they although encouragingly 8% did list Edinburgh University students. Green Party winning 2 and just one concern” are, by convention, appointed by the Monarch. The the environment as something they Compared to national predictions seat respectively. individual who is considered “to command the confidence of the House of Commons” and therefore the usually the leader of the majority political party or, if there is a coalition, the leader of the party that holds Five years on: the drop in Lib Dem popularity the most seats will be Prime Minister. or the last General Election manifesto also had a visibly larger What voting system does the general in 2010, Felix ran a similar portion dedicated around election use? Fpoll and found that 56% of science policies, those who responded intended to and had also The current system is called “First Past the Post” (FPTP). vote Liberal Democrats, 24% were pledged not to This means you can only cast one vote for an MP going to vote for a Conservative cut the science candidate, and the candidate that receives the most Party candidate and only 16% were budget if they vote wins that seat and represents that constituency in planning on casting their vote for a made it into the House of Commons. Labour Party candidate. power. Despite this, the overwhelming Interestingly, How does a party form the government? majority of students still predicted a YouGov poll at that there would be Conservative win the time found Each MP has a seat in the House of Commons, and the or hung parliament, which was, as we that 49% of all party that wins the most seats forms the government. now know, the outcome of the 2010 voters would have This means that they can put their ideas and views into General Election. actually voted for a practise when running the country. With Nick Clegg promising back in Liberal Democrat, if A party needs to command more than half the 2010 to scrap tuition fees, this may they thought the party seats to win, and the party that wins the second be how his party garnered so much actually had a shot at largest seats becomes the “opposition” party. If a party student support, although they also winning and taking some doesn’t command a majority of the seats, coalition seemed to be pessimistic about if of those safe seats from governments may form. Parties come together until he would ever actually take power. Labour or Conservative they represent the majority of seats. Back then, the Liberal Democrat candidates. FELIX THE STUDENT PAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON 01.05.2015 9 The General Election 2015 Everything you need to know to cast your vote The main parties and their promises Philip Kent scrutinises the pledges each party has made ahead of the election

LABOUR CONSERVATIVE LIB DEMS GREEN UKIP Economy Economy Economy Economy Economy

The front page of Labour’s The Conservatives pledge to The Lib Dems will continue to The Green Party reject austerity, The amount of money you can manifesto pledges to obtain a simultaneously eliminate the balance the country’s current will renationalise the railways, and claim before paying income tax surplus on the current budget UK’s budget deficit while granting budget, like Labour allowing will borrow to invest. Zero hours will be increased to £13,000, and as soon as possible. This differs millions a tax cut, in raising the borrowing for investment. They contracts will be banned, and the inheritance tax will be abolished. from the Conservatives’ policy, minimum salary upon which you will do this by April 2018. In minimum wage increased to £10 In addition, UKIP will introduce as they pledge to eliminate the pay income tax to £12,500. addition, an extra tax charge will an hour by 2020. The working a 30p tax rate starting somewhere entire deficit, while Labour’s They also pledge to not rise VAT, be levied on banks to raise money week will be set to a maximum in between £43,500 and £55,000. pledge still allows them to borrow national insurance, or income to clear the deficit (after which it of 35 hours. A 60p tax rate will UKIP have also pledged to change for infrastructure investment tax; and will introduce a law to will be removed). A mansion tax be introduced at £150,000, and how VAT works upon withdrawal – capital projects. Labour also bind themselves to doing it. They will be introduced on properties people worth £3m or more will from the EU, including removal pledges not to increase personal intend to pay for this through worth over £2 million, the be subject to a wealth tax of 2%. of VAT from sanitary products, taxes, but will reintroduce the cutting down on tax evasion amount of money you can earn Finally, a financial transaction tax and will introduce rules to 50p tax rate, and abolish the “non and avoidance, further austerity, before income tax raised to at least will be introduced. ensure companies cannot avoid dom” status which allows some and putting measures in place £12,500, and additional work to corporation tax in the UK. The people to not pay UK tax on their to promote growth in the North, cut down on tax avoidance. Healthcare Barnett Formula which allocates earnings outside the UK. The Midlands, South West and East funding in Scotland, Wales, and minimum wage will be increased England, partially through Healthcare The Greens have trumped the Northern Ireland will be replaced, to more than £8 an hour by late devolution to elected mayors. other parties and have pledged to and the deficit eliminated. 2019, and zero-hours contracts The Lib Dems will provide the increase the NHS budget by £12 will be banned. A mansion tax will Healthcare £8 billion requested by NHS billion. Social care will be, in some Healthcare also be introduced. England, and will also provide cases, free of charge, and resources The Tories’ headline pledge in money for the rest of the United will be provided to make mental UKIP will fund 8,000 more GPs, Healthcare healthcare is to provide 7 day Kingdom. £500 million will be health a much high priority. The 20,000 more nurses and 3,000 access to GPs by 2020, but they provided for mental health care, Health and Social Care Act will be more midwives. They will also Labour have not pledged the full have also pledged to fund in full with an aim to get waiting times repealed, and the Private Finance increase mental health funding £8 billion requested by Simon the request of £8 billion by NHS down to 6 weeks for depression Initiative method of building new by £170 million, to improve Stevens, head of NHS England, England. Further therapists or anxiety, and 2 weeks for a first NHS buildings (where the private provision of mental health however they have pledged £2.5 for those with mental health episode of psychosis. GP surgeries sector builds the building and services, and will trial a scheme billion to pay for more GPs, conditions will be introduced, and will be open in evenings and leases it back to the NHS). of putting GPs in A&E so those nurses, and midwives, as well health and social care systems will weekends, with phone and Skype with actual emergencies see an as look to provide the money if be joined up using a £5.3 billion appointments also made available. Education emergency doctor. they can make it available. They fund. A “Patient Premium” will be also pledge to put mental health introduced in disadvantaged areas. Tuition fees will be scrapped Education on the same priority as physical Education and debt cancelled for all health, repeal the Health and Education undergraduate courses, with grants Tuition fees will be waived for Social Care Act, cap profits made Announced as part of a previous reintroduced. The Greens will students studying STEM subjects by private operators in the NHS, Budget, a postgraduate loan Higher education finance reforms also consider scrapping tuition and medicine who remain in and guarantee GP appointments system will be introduced for will be reviewed and changed fees for postgraduate courses. their discipline in the UK for at within 48 hours. taught masters and PhD courses. where needed, with a focus on State funding will be reintroduced least 5 years. The target aiming The Conservatives will also lift living costs. The review will also for all courses, and fossil fuel to get 50% of school leavers into Education the cap on university places, cover postgraduate courses. The divestment will be encouraged university will be abolished, create enterprise zones around Lib Dems will also look into across all universities. and EU students will not receive Tuition fees will be cut to £6,000 universities to promote spinouts, creation of a student contract, and tuition fee loans. for home and EU students, and and invest more money in online will aim to widen participation Welfare provide more in-depth careers education. through summer schools, Welfare advice for school students to help mentoring, and transparency in The Basic Income – a fixed income them decide between university Welfare selection criteria. paid to every individual – will UKIP will remove the bedroom and apprenticeships. be consulted upon. In the mean tax and will end the current Much debate has been had in the Welfare time, the Green Party will end Work Capability Assessments for Welfare press over where the Conservatives workfare (where people work for disability benefits and move the will cut £12 billion from the Universal Credit will be benefits) and the bedroom tax. In tests to GPs and consultants. The Labour will abolish the Bedroom welfare budget. They intend to introduced, and the minimum addition, half a million new social carers allowance will be increased, Tax, also known as the Spare do this in part through freezing wage increased at a rate which rented homes will be introduced and will train and fund advisors Room Subsidy, and impose rules working age benefits, excluding does not slow down job creation. by 2020. The carers allowance will in food banks to help those who where migrants cannot claim disability benefits, for the first two The Work Programme will be be increased by 50%, and child use them, and exempt food banks UK benefits until they have been years of the Parliament. reformed – the Lib Dems claim it benefit doubled. from many taxes. Migrants will be resident for at least two years. In addition, the benefit cap will be currently ignores people who have banned from accessing benefits for Everyone over 25 out of work reduced by £3,000 to £23,000 but not found work but stop claiming 5 years, and the benefits cap will for at least two years will be disability living allowance and the jobseeker’s allowance. be lowered. guaranteed a job, which must be personal independence payment taken (those under 25 will wait will continue to be exempt. only one year). rolled out. 10 01.05.2015 THE STUDENT PAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FELIX The General Election 2015 Everything you need to know to cast your vote The £40k campaign condemning Lib Dems Jonathan Masters on the NUS initiative to encourage students to vote against “pledge breakers”

f you paid attention to your the billboards for any longer, news feed in the last week, the emphasizing that it has no expressed Ilikelihood is that the story of the desire to have a political opinion as a National Union of Students (NUS) company. spending £40,000 on a campaign One commentator online suggested: against the Liberal Democrats has “The NUS need to stay politically come across your radar. neutral. Why should our union fees The most iconic of the posters go towards pushing a political agenda displays two clenched fists, with we never said we support? the words ‘liar liar’ tattooed across “Furthermore why does the NUS the knuckles with the first ‘I’ being act as if they speak on behalf of all pointed with the Liberal democrat students?” logo. The NUS describes the campaign Joseph Miles, a PPE final year as seeking to end the “cycle of broken student at Wadham college promises.” recently saw his counter campaign, Their website describes how #trolltheNUS, go viral, after sharing a “In 2010 hundreds of thousands page on facebook named: ““Troll the of students were abandoned by NUS executive; donate to the Liberal politicians who broke their promise Democrats!” on tuition fees… They traded lies for He told the Oxford Student: I never The #LiarLiar campaign coming to a billboard near you Photo: NUS power.” expected the #trollNUS campaign The main purpose of the campaign to take off like this. When I heard of Voice website, targeted for Lib Dem plan of reducing tuition fees. from midnight Wednesday until is to encourage students to vote the #liarliar campaign, and having supporters, pointed out that the When I contacted Brian Alcorn, May 8. against MPs who broke their pledges seen the NUS’s increasingly desperate campaign is not endorsing those President of the Lincoln Student The NUS leader Toni Pearce cited not to raise tuition fees, although the attempts to plug it on social media, MPs that did keep to their pledge. Union and a heavily involved large amount of bitterness within the posters are specially targeting the I started the Facebook event…as a They also asked: “Where was their member of the NUS, he did offer student population: "Students queued Liberal Democrat party, something joke and invited several people who I campaign against Labour MPs who the fact that the campaign was to vote for the Lib Dems in 2010 on some students aren’t too happy about. know are Lib Dems at Oxford. introduced tuition fees and top-up originally voted on at last years the sole basis of this pledge. It wasn't Critics are keen to point out that “I do think the NUS has a problem fees when they said they wouldn’t?” NUS Conference in the form of a a minor misdemeanour. It was an other MPs too broke similar pledges, with accountability, and its internal Some are more sympathetic to mandate to hold those who raised outright lie. We have an obligation but were not necessarily members of structures are almost impossible to the cause; many commentators who the tuition fees accountable: “In the to hold them to account for this, and the same party. Other members of the understand. sympathised with the campaign, grand scheme of things, it’s not a lot we will." NUS are questioning the necessity “Clearly I am not the only person citing the fact that the student of money, and we did vote on it last Will the billboards even make of such expenditure on what is being who thinks that the NUS has become population needs to be reminded year,” he told Felix. a difference to student voting? called “a political smear campaign.” dominated by small internal cliques of the broken promises, and even Despite the protests, however, three Although it is too soon to tell, they The campaign has received even who are nowhere near representative offering the point that this campaign more billboards are planned to be are certainly generating debate more press due to the fact that of the entire student body.” will put more pressure on the Labour put up at London Victoria, Sheffield around the topic, which can only be national rail has refused to display An article on the Liberal Democrat party to follow through with their Central, and Manchester Piccadilly seen as good thing. How is the Union lobbying MPs this year? I’m Alex Savell, the current Deputy reverse fee hikes and protect It’s also proved tough to categorise and feelings on the issue pretty raw of time that could be taken. We President (Finance and Service) International and Postgraduate responses even as basically as Green from the tripling of fees in direct received about 300 responses to the sabbatical officer, and I have been students from extortionate fees. (fully in agreement with us), Amber contravention of some campaign survey, which were then presented overseeing the development of Their responses are live on the (partially in agreement with us) promises we wanted to make sure to the Union General Meeting before our policy on higher education Union website and we’ll be rating and Red (not in agreement with that we got a new policy in place. Christmas. Although under quorate, funding, and ensuring local MP them as Red, Amber or Green for us). How do you rank some of the For those that don’t know Council those in attendance engaged in candidates consider the priorities each issue as more responses come vague statements politicians make is the top policy making board in a healthy discussion and a new of our students that reside in their in. There have been some great or promises that seem to not be the Union (with the exception of proposed stance taken to Council for constituencies. levels engagements with us, but also backed up by concrete plans? I think the Trustees themselves) it’s made students to finally agree on. Imperial College Union has been a lot of candidates who are as yet to the fact is, all we can do as a Union up of about 60 positions including Eventually, we had our stance; we pushing forwards with its Fund respond. is present what they’ve responded representation from all the faculties agreed that Imperial College Union Education Fairly campaign, in an It can be difficult, when some of with at face value and trust that all and departments, the liberation officially supports significantly attempt to lobby MP candidates to our constituencies are seen as safe of you, as the best and brightest officers, the sabbatical officers and a reduced tuition fees, alongside consider the needs of students in seats to particularly get the larger students in the country, can draw number of ordinary members. some other measures. their constituencies. parties to engage – they all have your own conclusions on how much Council last year decided to The stance has a really strong As part of this, we’ve been more to lose from a faux pas than to to trust the promises made. ask the wider student body what mandate and a balanced position contacting all the candidates in gain from engagement. they thought, and ran our Higher with lobbying targets within college, five constituencies where the most We’ll be pushing for more How did we decide on the stances Education Funding survey to find within the government and, perhaps Imperial students live: Kensington, responses in the run up to election in the first place? out what you think is a fair price to most notably, for the Election Cities of London and Westminster, day… we’ll be naming and shaming pay for a university education. Campaign. Hammersmith, Chelsea and those that haven’t replied us on When I was still a wide eyed council The survey went through three or I’m really proud of the result; you Fulham, and Battersea. Twitter and if we get a few of you member last year it was pointed out four drafts; which went to council can still see it We’re lobbying MPs candidates guys to join in with the #FairFunding that our Union stance on Higher for further input and was then at imperialcollegeunion.org/ to consider our three key demands: I’m still hopeful that we can get the Education Funding was due to lapse. revised several times to make it policies. increase funding for living costs, majority of candidates to respond. With the election coming up in 2015 balanced and improve the amount ALEX SAVELL FELIX THE STUDENT PAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON 01.05.2015 11 The General Election 2015 Everything you need to know to cast your vote Imperial’s local constituencies explained

JACK STEADMAN Shepherds Bush market. for the Conservatives. large, not least transport. interest of the few, or for the good of NEWS WRITER The first campaign is particularly Hands’ policies echo those of the many of One Kensington?” relevant for Imperial students, in the Conservative Party in general, Kensington Victoria Borwick (Conservative) more ways than one. The proposed as he has endorsed the party’s said “I was born in this constituency he majority of students at demolition of Charing Cross will manifesto. Most of the key pledges Kensington was represented and spent my life here. Over the past Imperial (especially those mean many students nearest hospital aren’t particularly relevant for until 2015 by Malcolm Rifkind of seven years on the Greater London Tin halls) are concentrated becomes (St Mary’s in Paddington) or most students, as they focus on the Conservative Party, who is not Authority and two years working as in the four constituencies of Chelsea and Westminster, with only earlier stages of education, pensions, seeking to retain his seat in the 2015 Boris’s deputy, I have worked hard to Chelsea and Fulham, Kensington, the former having a full-blown A&E apprenticeships and changes to election. promote innovation and enterprise Hammersmith, and Cities of London department. Inheritance Tax and the higher rate The candidates standing in in this great city. I’m passionate about and Westminster. Felix takes a look at Any changes to Charing Cross of Income Tax. Kensington from the major parties London and its residents. each of them below. will likely also impact on medical Other promises highlighted by are Dr Rodwan Abouharb (Labour), If you vote for me, I and a students, many of whom study in the Hands include increased spending Victoria Borwick (Conservative), Conservative government would Hammersmith hospital throughout their clinical on the NHS and lifting the cap on Robin McGhee (Liberal Democrats), fight to keep the economy on track, years. university places. Jack Bovill (UKIP) and Robina Rose continue to create jobs and secure a Hammersmith is currently (Green). bright future for young people living represented by the Labour Party’s Chelsea and Fulham Cities of London and Current polls show Victoria in Kensington today.” Andy Slaughter, the Shadow Justice Westminster Borwick being elected for the Robin McGhee,(Liberal Democrats) Minister. Slaughter was previously Chelsea and Fulham is currently Conservatives with 51% of the vote, said “the Liberal Democrats want MP for Ealing, Acton and Shepherd’s represented by the Conservative Cities of London and Westminster with Labour on 19% and the Liberal to do something about the housing Bush from 2005-2010 and is running Party’s Greg Hands, the Deputy Chief has been represented since 2001 by Democrats on 15%. crisis. Housing is the most important for a second term (his third overall) in Whip of the Coalition government. the Conservative Party’s Mark Field. Felix spoke to each of the candidates issue facing young people in London the 2015 election. Hands was previously MP for Current polling shows Field will for Kensington, asking them why we today. We need urgent action now to The latest polling data suggests Hammersmith and Fulham from likely be returned with 53% of the should vote for them and their party, ensure our generation doesn’t get left Labour will take 49% of the vote, 2005-2010 and is running for a vote, continuing the constituency’s and their responses are printed below. behind.” with the Conservatives in second second term (also his third overall) in trend of returning the Conservative Dr Rodwan Abouharb (Labour) Jack Bovill (UKIP) told us that “the with 33%. With a Labour-led council the 2015 election. candidate in every election since told us “residents need an advocate only reason to vote for me, the UKIP in the Hammersmith and Fulham Current polling data suggests Hands its inception in 1950. Labour are not only locally, but also nationally Candidate in Kensington, is that I borough, Hammersmith is a fairly will be returned to the government predicted to come second with 24% of in parliament making a strong case care for open access to learning of safe seat for Labour. with a 60% share of the vote, with the vote. for government to understand and everyone in this land, particularly Slaughter’s main campaigns the Labour candidate coming in Field has run campaigns on address the needs of all communities where the learning is structured and revolve around the A&E closures second with 25% of the vote. Despite multiple topics affecting constituents, living in Kensington. led by teachers of renown.” before in West London, the potential for including wards from the Labour including funding of hospitals, When you head off to the polling quoting George Orwell. a third runway at Heathrow, the Hammersmith and Fulham borough, policing issues, housing problems, station on 7 May, your choice is Robina Rose, Green did not submit housing crisis and the demolition of Chelsea and Fulham is a very safe seat as well as those affecting the city at simple. Will you vote for the self- a response before Felix went to print. Students are taking to the campaign trail too

As a member of the Liberal Youth, traditionally banked on strong local Imperial, perhaps it’s the nature I was invited to go canvassing in connections and it showed here as of our courses and the ideological various target seats in the country. some people commented that they showmanship from the political It’s a great scheme where they give have heard more about Layla and parties that puts us off from you some money towards travel, her work in the constituency than actively engaging in politics. free accommodation and food and their MP. It was quite refreshing to Nevertheless, it’s important that there’s a social to cap things off at see people actively willing to engage we exercise our right to vote and the weekend. in politics and give their views on make our voices heard in elections. I went to the marginal seat of NHS, education and housing. Engaging actively with political Oxford West and Abingdon where The weekend also gave me a parties is the best way to influence Imperial alumna Layla Moran was chance to chat to Layla about her policymaking and truly make a standing. It was a great experience journey from Imperial to politics. difference in people’s lives. to find out the inner workings of She highlighted the need for The Lib Dems policies are political campaigning behind the objective decision making in politics voted on at conference and any scenes. compared to the ideological policies member can put forward a policy I was briefed on the local issues that are often pursued by the motion to be debates. This gives and the work Layla has been doing political parties. an excellent opportunity for over the past few years. Then we She spoke in a friendly manner grassroots campaigners to have were paired up and started knocking and was very willing to discuss party a say at the national level. And on doors. What I found is that in an politics with me during lunch. As the truth is it works. The Lib Dem ultra marginal seat people are more a current school teacher she had a policy delivered in this parliament likely to want to engage in doorstep very good insight into the education of income tax cut was originally conversations although some were policies needed in this country and proposed at conference by an quite shy about expressing the party was committed to making a positive ordinary member. they are going to vote for. impact. Education inequality is an So it’s important that we actively This constituency had a right issue close to my heart and it was engage and campaign to get wing Tory MP in the last parliament great to learn about the steps the a better understanding of the who voted against bills such as gay party is taking to address the issue. issues facing our society and do marriage so the Liberal voice wasn’t I have always felt a certain something about solving it. such a hard sell. Lib Dems have degree of political apathy at PLABON SAHA 12 01.05.2015 THE STUDENT PAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FELIX The General Election 2015 Everything you need to know to cast your vote The MPs hoping for your valuable vote

ALEXANDRA SANDERSON ANDY SLAUGHTER ROB ABOUHARB NICK SLINGSBY Sanderson works for a char- Slaughter is the current Abouharb is a politics Slingsby is currently ity that helps people with MP. He wants to save lecturer at UCL, and a lawyer. He wants to money management, and Charing Cross hospital, wants to end the tuition save the timber yard in is a school governor. She fight the third heathrow fee system. He is against Pimlico road, the Soho wants to keep Charing Cross runway and save Shepherd’s backdoor privitisation of Square surgery, restore the and other A&Es open, and Bush Market from the NHS, and wants to build Paddington Street public was part of the team that demolition. He also wants more social housing in the toilets and tackling anti- saved Sulivan School in the to fix the Hammersmith area. He wants to save Earl’s social behaviour area from closure. Court from demolition. in the area. Cities of London and Chelsea and Fulham Hammersmith Kensington Westminster

SIMON BAILEY MILLICENT SCOTT ROBIN McGHEE BELINDA BROOKS-GORDON Simon is a management Scott has spent many years Graduating in 2012 from Brooks-Gordon is currently consultant after graduating campaigning to engage a Oxford University, he the Assistant Dean of from Durham, where he more representative and has worked in journalism Strategy for the University read Physics. He wants more diverse range of and research. He wants of London. She is a member to ensure investment in politics, and she believes we to reduce high rents by of the party’s federal policy education and the national should have a parliament outlawing “buy-to-leave” committee, and part of infrastructure, by asking that’s more representative and wants to protect local the policy reference team the richest to contribute of the people. businesses. He also is a keen should there be a more to do so. environmentalist. hung parliament. Cities of London and Chelsea and Fulham Hammersmith Kensington Westminster

GREG HANDS CHARLIE DEWHIRST VICTORIA BORWICK MARK FIELD Hands is the current MP Dewhirst works for Sport Current Deputy Mayor of Current MP. Member of the for the constituency, and UK, and plans to fight London, Borwick wanted to Intelligence and Security was MP for Hammersmith against the third Heathrow oppose the mansion tax and Committee and the Privy and Fulham since 2005. He runway, abolish night supports the renogation of Council of the UK. Highly was the founder of the Save flights and replace the EU membership. She wants critical of the second home Fulham Pools campaign Hammersmith flyover with to hold surgeries regularly allowances, and protestors and is Vice President of the a tunnel from Hogarth and end health inequalities, camping outside of St Chelsea and the Fulham Roundabout to Earl’s Court. and maintain the sense of Paul’s. Society. family in the area. Cities of London and Chelsea and Fulham Hammersmith Kensington Westminster

ADRIAN NOBLE RICHARD WOOD JACK BOVILL ROBERT STEPHENSON A financial assistant for the Wood has built many Bovill retired in 2000 and Stephenson is an IT Royal Hospital for Neuro successful businesses in since then has been Chair professional after Disability, he initially was construction, trading and of Governors for the local graduating from LSE. He an active member of the importing. Most recently schools in the area. Bovill has been a political activist conservative party. He he signed contracts to cut believes UKIP stands and campaigner for more is an advocate of an EU and export timber from apart “from the problems than a decade. He is the membership referendum Russia to the Uk. He is also that seem to have become Chairman of the party’s and thinks UKIP stands for a Freeman of the City of endemic in the Tweedle Westminster and “common sense” values. London. Dum, Tweedle Dee parties.” City branch. Cities of London and Chelsea and Fulham Hammersmith Kensington Westminster

GUY RUBIN DAVID AKAN ROBINA ROSE HUGH SMALL Rubin has served as a Akan works in construction Rose is an independent Small wants to improve Labour councillor for and his interests lie in filmmaker who has taught the pedestrian facilities eight years before joining sustainability and the at the Berlin Film School. in the area, and to reduce the party. He wants to environment. He wants to She wants to address the the speed limit to 20mph. save Earls Court from make housing affordable, environmental impact of He also wants to reduce demolition, tighten build safe cycling lanes and basement extensions and pollution and traffic controls on road pollution reverse the privatisation of keep properties for local congestion, and make and supports a £10 the NHS. instead of international rented houses more minimum wage. development. affordable. Cities of London and Chelsea and Fulham Hammersmith Kensington Westminster FELIX THE STUDENT PAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON 01.05.2015 13 The General Election 2015 Everything you need to know to cast your vote Just how do you decide who to vote for? Joshua Renken ponders the perils and pitfalls of picking a politician

Cameron looks forward and attempts to ignore Miliband’s hungry eyes and Clegg’s cheeky grin. Photo: Creative Commons

he novelist and essayist is not necessarily a terrible thing. important, but ultimately it’s the Party are all anti-austerity and Labour wants people thinking George Orwell once said that Great speeches need to weave policy policies that directly affect our lives have promised to modestly increase about inequality and the NHS. Tpolitical language is “designed with high ideals, but the problem is and make a lasting impact. government spending. The Conservatives want people to make lies sound truthful and that political discussion is totally After that, it’s a question of When voting, it is important to thinking about the economy and murder respectable, and to give an smothered by precisely framed assessing the pros and cons of be aware of the political landscape strong leadership. Lib Dems want appearance of solidity to pure wind.” platitudes and clichés, with little each policy platform, taking into within your constituency, to see people thinking about fairness He wrote that over half a century ago, substance to them. It’s a tricky consideration the policy areas that whether your vote will make a and a compassionate approach to but it is just as relevant today as it was balance and not really the fault of any matter most to you, each party’s significant difference to who fiscal recovery, while Ukip want the then. Perhaps even more so. single group of people, just a reaction record of delivery and whether the wins. For many voters there is a conversation to be about immigration There is undoubtedly a problem to incentives. policies seem realistic. It can be the valid argument to vote tactically, and the EU. You get the idea. with how political language is I’m sure many politicians would case that a policy that sounds great is, particularly if you know you live in Even if you don’t get the candidate perceived by the public. Many people prefer it if they were able to speak on closer inspection, detrimental in a marginal constituency that could you voted for, you will have helped feel that politicians are not direct or freely and debate their opponents the long term. ‘swing’ to another party. reduce the size of the majority for honest with the electorate, and are openly, but by outlining your policies It could be that you have a very You might consider voting the winning candidate, making him constantly dodging questions and clearly you are reducing the number strong view about a particular issue, down the front running candidate or her less complacent about their twisting the narrative in an effort to of people who readily agree with which would take priority over all you dislike - a compromise that victory so that they work harder appeal to everyone. There is an aroma you. Instead, by running a generic the other policies. For instance, you would help to get a more agreeable for their constituents ready for the of mild deception to the whole game, campaign you are able to appeal to might feel very strongly that Scotland candidate elected. To look at your next election. By voting you also but you can see why politicians do as many people as possible, because should not break up from the rest constituency’s profile go to http:// represent your age group, and the it. They can’t get a whole lot done if there is little to disagree with them of the United Kingdom. This might democraticdashboard.com. larger the number of a group of their party comes in second. about. But this isn’t good for the lead you to vote tactically for the Online questionnaires and political people going out to vote, the harder Politics is all about the future. This country. Conservatives or Liberal Democrats party comparison sites such as www. it is for politicians to ignore that means politicians get into power by Even the party manifestos are in order to minimise the impact whoshouldyouvotefor.com and www. group’s interests over other groups. making promises, which are often packed full of generic promises about of the SNP over the life of the next voteforpolicies.org.uk will give you a Old people love to vote, young people about quite abstract, intangible ideas. a “brighter future” or a “better plan,” parliament. good idea of whom you align with. It don’t. So tuition fees increase and So straight talking is hard to find, and very few people have the time, or There are some crucial dividing is also possible to go online and look pensions are protected. These policy because politicians are not in the the patience, to meticulously analyse lines between the parties. Labour, at how your local MP has voted. priorities can shift if enough young business of candid communication each party’s intentions. the Conservatives and the Liberal Many people think, quite sensibly, people vote. and transparency. They are in the So, how does one go about deciding Democrats have agreed to further that election campaigns are about Deciding whom to vote for is business of breaking their messages whom to vote for? austerity cuts over the next competing answers to the same admittedly a difficult decision to down into sound bites and slogans Well, voting for policies over parliament, which Ukip largely question. make. But it is important to exercise that will resonate with as much personalities is crucial. Having a support. The Green Party, Plaid They’re not. They’re a fight over the your freedom to have a say in how the of the electorate as possible. This competent leader is of course very Cymru and the Scottish National question itself. country is run. 14 01.05.2015 THE STUDENT PAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FELIX The General Election 2015 Everything you need to know to cast your vote The big Debate between the biggest names in politics Joshua Renken recaps the televised election debate, and gives the lowdown on how each candidate held their own

he first and only televised of money.” leader attacked Cameron on the reluctantly feel that it is in the best election debate for this year’s The Conservative leader came NHS, claiming that “over one million interests of the country’s current Tgeneral election took place out strong for the NHS, calling people waited in A&E for more than finances. earlier this month, featuring seven it the UK’s “most important four hours.” “The NHS doesn’t need warm party leaders from across the United national institution” that provided Miliband plans to prevent words it needs hard cash.” Mr Clegg Kingdom. The two-hour debate was “unbelievable care” for his severely immigrations from receiving benefits also stated that “mental health has for structured around four key questions disabled son. Cameron claimed that for the first two years that they come far too long been the poor cousin of on the following topics: tackling there are now 9000 more doctors here, and will attempt to “stop the physical health.” the deficit, the future of the NHS, and 20000 fewer bureaucrats, and undercutting of wages and working The deputy prime minister said immigration policy and future promised to implement seven-day conditions.” On the EU, Miliband he “will never spread fear about prospects for young people. operation for A&E and GP surgeries. argued that “David Cameron has immigration” and “welcome people The marathon debate, moderated In response to attacks from Ed marginalised us in Europe” and who play by the rules,” before going by Julie Etchingham and hosted by Miliband on the number of zero hour asserted that he will not be holding a on to say that “without immigrants itv, represented months of foreplay contracts, Cameron told the audience referendum like the Tories. the NHS would collapse overnight.” between political operators and about claims that 70 labour MPs In his closing speech, Miliband The three female leaders shared broadcasters culminating in a single currently employ people on zero hour reminded the audience that he will these positive sentiments towards pre-election debate featuring seven contracts. “stand up to energy companies” and immigrants. party leaders from across the political On immigration, Cameron laid implement a price freeze. In one exchange between the spectrum. out plans for new policies that would three biggest Westminster parties, The meeting was enlivened by the stop immigrants from claiming Nick Clegg – Liberal Mr Clegg asked Ed Miliband for new female dynamic and stirred by benefits until they have lived and Democrats an apology about the state of the Consectetur adipiscing elitaliqua. Photo: Creative Commons the presence of three parties that paid into the country for four years economy that the coalition inherited. only stand in certain areas of the UK: and prevent migrant workers from The abiding message from Nick This prompted a rare applause from an alternative to austerity, where the the SNP in Scotland, Plaid Cymru sending money to dependents who Clegg was that the Liberal Democrats the audience. Miliband deflected the UK “puts investment in children, not in Wales and The Green Party in live overseas. The PM promised an act as a moderating force in British criticism by attacking Cameron for nuclear weapons.” The SNP leader England and Wales. So how well did in-out referendum on Europe in 2017 politics, who will stop the country his statements while in opposition claimed that “economic policies each candidate perform? after renegotiations to “get a better from “lurching to the left or that the banks were overregulated shouldn’t be and end in itself,” and deal for Britain.” right.” The deputy prime minister before the 2008 crisis, “so I won’t take would like to see “modest spending David Cameron- acknowledged that “no one is going to any lectures from you.” increases” that stop “pushing people Conservatives Ed Miliband - Labour win outright in this election,” but that Mr Clegg defended his party’s into poverty.” While admitting that “the country is in a much better shape success in the coalition with the this approach would “take longer to Cameron took the opportunity to Ed Miliband focused his attacks on than it was five years ago.” pupil premium, income tax cuts pay off the debt,” Nicola Sturgeon reemphasise that five years ago the Cameron’s record, claiming that “over Mr Clegg declared that the for millions of low earners and new justified that it would “give money for country was “on the brink” and that the last five years wages haven’t kept Liberal Democrats have “the grit apprenticeships, before talking about infrastructure and public services.” the “long term economic plan was up with bills.” and resilience to finish the job and the Liberal Democrat ‘rent-to-own’ She criticised the coalition’s “blind working.” He spoke of two million He promised to raise the minimum balance the books fairly” and did a scheme for people trying to get onto commitment to austerity,” insisted more jobs and the coalition tax cuts. wage to £8 an hour and “rescue the good job of positioning himself as the property ladder. that “you can’t cut your way out of the Cameron defended attacks on his NHS by hiring more doctors and the reasonable compromise between The deputy prime minister intends deficit” and won over the audience immigration record by stressing nurses.” Labour’s cut in tuition fees the two biggest parties. The Lib Dem to raise more money by closing reliefs after observing “it seems that there that the UK currently has the fastest from six to nine thousand was not leader went on to say that the next in capital gains tax. He closed his is nothing Nigel Farage won’t blame growing economy in any major criticised by the other leaders, while five years require more austerity but speech by highlighting the Liberal on foreigners.” After calling the NHS western country, naturally resulting Miliband promised to cut the deficit emphasised that “It’s a balance. We Democrat mission statement: “A “too precious for private profit,” in people wanting to come here. He every year while reversing the tax will cut less than tory, and borrow less stronger economy and a fairer Nicola Sturgeon reemphasised lifting predictably focused his attacks on cut for millionaires and making than labour.” society, with opportunity for all.” people out of poverty and scrapping Labour, and expressed concern that “common sense spending reductions, In an effort to distance himself trident, while creating an “education voting for Miliband would “put us where outside the NHS and education from his Coalition partner, Nick Nicola Sturgeon – SNP system based on the ability to learn back to square one.” The PM declared system spending will fall.” Clegg attacked Mr Cameron on the not the ability to pay.” that the problem with Miliband is The Labour leader set out a NHS harsh cuts made in the coalition, Nicola Sturgeon said she was that he “still doesn’t think Labour “time to care fund” coming from a claiming that the prime minister committed to changing the Nigel Farage – UKIP borrowed and spent too much,” and new mansion tax on properties worth had executed “ideologically driven Westminster system while “standing told the audience about a letter left over £2 million, a banker’s bonus cuts on schools” and that the “Tories up for Scotland’s best interests.” Nigel Farage quickly tried to distance by Labour at the Treasury in 2010 tax and unexplained money coming cut more because they want to,” She made it clear that she wants himself from the other leaders, which read “I’m sorry, we’ve ran out from tobacco companies. The Labour as opposed to the Lib Dem who Scottish independence and offered explaining that “all the other six FELIX THE STUDENT PAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON 01.05.2015 15 The General Election 2015 Everything you need to know to cast your vote

leader to mention the environment, claiming that “we are using the resources of three planets when we’ve only got one.” Ms Bennett spent her remaining time praising the “huge impact” that the Green Party’s only MP, Caroline Lucas, had made in parliament and urged the public to vote for the Greens to “deliver a new kind of politics. A peaceful political revolution.” But just how well was this all received?

Snap polls suggested that Nicola Sturgeon and David Cameron had come out on top, but for very different reasons. Many liked the aggressive and impassioned rhetoric coming from Sturgeon, who attacked Miliband for not being left enough. David Cameron remains the most ‘prime ministerial’ in the public’s eyes, after he gave a calm and convincing argument for voting Conservative. Ed Miliband also came out strong form the debate. He has the most to gain from participating in a head to head debate with David Cameron, due to the expectation game. The Conservatives and the press have hugely exaggerated Miliband’s poor image and the debates give him an opportunity to confront Cameron and look the part. However, in the seven-way debate he had little time to clash with Cameron, and had to spent just as much time being criticized by Sturgeon, Bennett and Wood for Labour’s support for further austerity. Nick Clegg, arguably one of the best Consectetur adipiscing elitaliqua. Photo: Creative Commons speakers on the panel, came out with some appealing lines on why to vote here support the EU and open door “we can’t do anything” to control the audience that “the banks had a private profits” and pledged that the Lib Dem, and successfully positioned immigration.” immigration and said that he doesn’t bailout, now it is time for the people Green party would “stop slashing at himself away from his coalition The Ukip leader advocated for an blame a single migrant for coming to have a bail out.” essential public services” by raising partner. Painting a picture as the Australian style points immigation here. In the next parliament Plaid Cymru taxes and ensuring that multinational party that would “add a heart to a system, to give “ordinary working He highlighted issues such as wage will demand that Wales receive (per companies and rich individuals “pay Conservative government and a brain people an even break” and affirmed compression and the housing crisis, capita) fiscal parity with Scotland. their fair share.” She criticised the to a Labour one” might chime with his intentions to withdraw from the but steered clear of the economy Leanna Wood criticised Labour government’s efforts for the poor and the electorate, but Clegg’s image is European Union. Mr Farage also and focused on immigration and for the “creeping privatisation” and told the audience “one in five workers tainted with large chinks of the public pledged to cut the foreign aid budget, our EU membership as priorities the introduction of PFIs (private is on less than a living wage.” after the tuition fee debacle. stop the HS2 “vanity project” and for the UK. Mr Farage attacked the finance initiatives). She contended The Green Party leader promised Nigel Farage gave a pretty poor revisit the Barnett formula because six pro-European leaders, calling that the “private sector has no role in to “increase the amount we spend performance and caused controversy “Scotland should receive less than it them “detached”, “all the same” and healthcare.” on foreign aid” because “we need a his comments on immigrants currently does.” declaring they have “never had a job In response to Farage’s comments more secure, stable world.” Bennett suffering from HIV. Natalie Bennett Farage said that the NHS “should in their lives.” on immigration, the Plaid Cymru announced that other parties are and Leanne Wood both had their run as a public service, free at the leader asserted that the United “offering two choices: austerity heavy moments that won over the audience, point of access” and promised Leanne Wood – Plaid Cymru Kingdom would not go along with and austerity light.” mainly on the subjects of inequality to reverse the growth of middle the “scaremongering” and “divisive According to the Green party and the “failed austerity experiment,” management and scrap hospital Plaid Cymru leader Leanne Wood rhetoric.” leader, the NHS is “moving to the and the three women leaders were parking charges. stressed that “jobs and services have In closing, Leanne Wood American system,” which is why very much in agreement on the issues. Mr Farage raised the topic of health been cut to the bone” and declared underlined that “austerity is not the Greens would “take the market However, as the best debater of the tourism, saying that foreign workers that “the austerity experiment has inevitable. We do have a choice” and mechanism out of the national health three, Nicola Sturgeon stole Bennett’s should have health insurance before failed.” told the audience that “for Wales to service.” and Wood’s thunder. they arrive here. Speaking directly to the Welsh be strong, like Scotland, Plaid Cymru Bennett spoke about the There were no major gaffes or Shortly after this Mr Farage voters, she promised to offer an must be strong. Only they can win for “damaging” debate on immigration game changing moments during the brought up the 7000 HIV cases in the alternative to “balancing the books on Wales” caused by Nigel Farage, and agreed debate, and the two-hour discussion UK, and claimed that “almost half” the backs of the poor.” with other party leaders about the probably didn’t change many people’s of the patients were from overseas. Leanne Wood relentlessly criticised Natalie Bennett – the Green numerous benefits of immigration. perceptions of the party leaders, When he Leanne wood gets the first austerity, saying that “debt has gone Party She went on to mention “the except now there might be a large round of applause for condemning up despite promises” to produce “so NHS couldn’t operate without number left-wing English voters his words. much pain for so little gain.” At one Natalie Bennett argued that in the immigrants.” who wish they could vote for Nicola Farage repeatedly claimed that point the Plaid Cymru leader told NHS “no public money should go into Natalie Bennett was the only Sturgeon. 16 01.05.2015 THE STUDENT PAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FELIX Science [email protected] Science Editor James Bezer & Lauren Ratcliffe ‘Kings’ of the Jungle De-Throned! Lauren Ratcliffe on the impact of logging in Borneo’s rainforests

Demand for palm oil has driven the destruction of the rainforest in Borneo. Photo: Orangutan Foundation International

ew research in Borneo by decompose decaying matter like Well, surprisingly very little. In fact, and it was not a function taken researchers from Imperial fallen leaves. Through digestion new research from Imperial College up by the vertebrates. Instead the NCollege London suggests and egestion, the release of essential London’s Department of Life Sciences team hypothesise that in the altered that clear cutting rainforests nutrients such as nitrates and has indicated that tropical rainforests microclimate in logged forests changes which types of species phosphorous helps fuel the growth of are actually very resilient to change. leading to reduced humidity and perform vital ecosystem functions. the surrounding fauna. Seeds off trees What does change, however, are increased air temperature as well In logged forests, vertebrates are carried, munched and dispersed the type of creatures that perform as altered activities of soil bacteria instead of invertebrates appear to be across the forest floor by these little these vital functions. By excluding could have helped decomposition to contributing a greater amount to key creatures, which helps maintain either invertebrates or vertebrates continue. processes such as seed dispersal and the vast diversity of tree species. from patches of both logged and Although the ecosystem predation. This switch in functional And carnivorous ants and spiders unlogged rainforest in Borneo, the can continue to function with dominance renders these systems can scuttle about, preying on these researchers were table to determine vertebrates usurping the throne from more vulnerable to future change. insatiable herbivorous invertebrates, their contribution to three ecosystem invertebrates, the rainforests are Whether you be trekking through a thus keeping them in check so they functions: leaf litter decomposition, left more vulnerable to disturbance tropical forest or taking your dog out don’t much through all the foliage, leaf-eating invertebrate predation than before. “The forest will keep for a walk, snorkelling with tortoises dead or alive. and seed disturbance. The team found maintaining itself, but it will be much or dipping your toes in Cornish Unfortunately, as a consequence that in logged forests, vertebrates more susceptible to further change. waters, in any terrestrial, marine or of globalisation and the growing played a more dominant functional Relying on vertebrates is a bad tactic,” aquatic environment, vertebrates demand from an expanding human role and increased in abundance Dr Ewers elucidates. “Knocking out may catch your eye but most of the population, intense legal and illegal compared to primary (untouched) one or two invertebrates might not time you are the visitor of a primarily logging currently threatens half forest patches. be too bad, as there are many others invertebrate world. Edward O. Wilson of the world’s rainforests. The “Invertebrates are often thought of to take their place, but knocking out has called them “the little things that caterpillar tractors are fired up as the controllers of tropical forests, one or two vertebrates could now be run the world,” and invertebrates and chainsaws roar. In particular, so it’s surprising that mankind disastrous.” truly are the movers and shakers the clearing of land for palm can upset their dominance to this Intrinsic susceptibility of of tropical ecosystems, vastly oil and timber plantations has level,” said Dr Robert Ewers, lead vertebrates to a range of human outweighing their more charismatic rendered Borneo’s rainforest author of the study. For example, in pressures has seen their threat vertebrate companions in abundance almost unrecognisable, with an area pristine primary forests predation status steadily rise over the last two and diversity. One could even call "Most of almost the size of Belgium having on herbivorous invertebrates is decades. Increased reliance on them them the true kings of the jungle. the time been cut down between 1985 and "Logging almost entirely performed by other is therefore likely to render these These little critters are the 2001 to supply the global timber invertebrates. However, in logged systems more vulnerable to future foundations of life across many you are gluttony. As a consequence of this, currently forests their contribution to this disturbances. Invertebrates still ecosystems but their importance visitor to a these little “movers and shakers” of function is cut by 40% and animals remain an important actor in logged is most prominent in tropical forest ecosystems have been severely threatens such as mice and tree shrews pick up forests, but as the area of pristine rainforests. If left untouched by primarily hit, with many species being lost half of the the slack. forest shrinks to less than a third mankind’s chainsaw and caterpillar inverteba- altogether. Similar trends were seen for seed of the world’s forest area, their role tractor, beetles and termites, ants So with these integral cogs world’s disturbance rates. However, leaf seems to have switched from true and earthworms can go about their te world." gone, what happens to the overall rainforest." litter decomposition rates were kings of the jungle to jesters of the business with relative ease and help functioning of tropical rainforests? unaffected by lack of invertebrates crown court.

18 01.05.2015 THE STUDENT PAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FELIX Features [email protected] EditorFeatures Philippa Editor Skett VACANT Do you want a firetruck with your beer? Jonathan Masters investigates the latest entrepreneurial endeavour by the Imperial graduate who prefers to pour his own pint

raft beer has seen an they are part of the action. That’s why Somewhat bizarrely, the fire engine exponential increase in we created the worlds first fire truck has attracted considerable attention Cpopularity in the last four years, mobile outdoor bar which features from Al Murray, the comedian whose and with that increased demand have self serve technology.” act centres around the musings of come entrepreneurs seeking to profit. Laurence remarked that the a typical pub landlord. Al Murray However, some of those capitalising idea originally came about when recently travelled in the fire engine on the trend were more likely to he and his other future business as a way to announce his satirical be found in the lab than down the partners were in a long queue at campaign in the upcoming election bar only a few years ago. Imperial a festival waiting for a beer, and in the Thanet constituency, running chemistry graduate, Douglas getting increasingly frustrated over against Nigel Farage, leader of the Hunt, is one such scientist turned missing the acts. They thought that UKIP. entrepreneur, although his idea there had to be a quicker way to get Laurence told how it originated comes with a novel twist: Doug has a beer, and, after copious research, from the Robot Pub group who retrofitted a fire engine into a beer- they discovered that the self-service had a contact in the Avalon group dispensing-festival-serving device technology existed, and so decided to (Al Murray’s agent), and they were under his company Pour Your Pint. find a way to bring it to the portable talking about the Pour Your Pint Doug studied chemistry at Imperial, market. venture late one night, and he was before spending a year as a sabbatical The fire engine as a method talking about his political venture. He officer for Imperial College Union. of transportation was originally contacted Pour Your Pint and next When he left Imperial, he went on Laurence’s father’s idea, stemming thing you know, he was riding in the to work in the field of accountancy, from a friend that converted a engine through the streets of Thanet. where he met his other two business fire engine into a radio station When I asked Laurence if he partners, Laurence Culloty and over thirty years ago. The three had any thoughts on the nature of Laurence Tarr. accountants researched began to look his satire and the state of British Main photo: the engine in action. Bottom right: Al Murray taking riding the engine I caught up with Laurence Culloty for something that could transport politics, Laurence was initially quite around the Thanet constituency. Bottom left: (FLTR) Laurence, Laurence and Doug, the last Saturday in in Tottenham Hale to itself easily. They initially had a cautious, declaring that he wasn’t owners of the truck Photo: Jonathan Masters/ Pour Your Pint discuss craft beer, their plans for the look at slipstream caravans and the going to broadcast his political views, future, and the political influence of Routemaster buses, but in the end obviously quite wary of his new to those that had come to the event, Al Murray. they felt that the fire engine wasn’t company’s reputation. revealing a giant warehouse with After the longest tube journey really something that had been done He did admit that there were several large distilleries. I’ve ever taken, I emerged from the before. After a tense but successful certain elements of Murray’s Opened in 2011, Beavertown has tube station, immediately seeing a venture onto eBay, the fire engine was performance that had an element of gone from strength to strength, crowd of bearded twenty-somethings. purchased. truth to them: one quip Murray said before moving to Tottenham Hale in Already I had an inkling that they Luckily there weren’t too many was that although many politicians May 2014. I managed to talk to one of were probably going to a craft obstacles in financing their business, “Craft break their promises, he was going the brewers about the merits of craft beer brewery, and sure enough, since it was from their collective to promise to not keep any of his beer: “Once you get distilleries of this after following the bearded crowd “I was personal savings. Laurence did admit Beer has promises. “I think there’s definitely size, it gets really difficult to make a I eventually found the industrial curious as to me that their cash flow was not increased an element of truth to that”, Laurence shit beer and I think to make a good estate, they were there, right next to a ideal at this moment in time, but replied, before we went and got craft beer there has to be something beer dispensing fire engine. to whether their collective optimism for their in another pint. unique about it.” The fire engine in question has six or not this business has made the investment Craft beer has increased in Laurence also sounded in on this self-service points supplied by one of worth it in their minds. popularity popularity over the past few years, stating that “There’s a lot more Pour Your Pints’ partners, Robot Pub is just a In the next five years Laurence over the even being added to the basket of variety of flavours, and ability to Group, with each one of them being hoped to expand the business to a goods for calculating inflation; experiment with craft beers.” able to be filled with any beverage of transient wider market, making themselves the past few however I was curious as to whether This was definitely true with many the event organiser’s choice. Their fad.” prime company when it comes to self- or not this is just a transient fad. of Beavertown’s brands: there was a website boasts: “We realise that service technology to the festivals and years.” During the course of the day, particularly interesting Grapefruit people enjoy drinks bars most when events market. Beavertown brewery opened its doors IPA (Indian Pale Ale), as well as a FELIX THE STUDENT PAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON 01.05.2015 19 Features [email protected] EditorFeatures Philippa Editor Skett VACANT

Main photo: the engine in action. Bottom right: Al Murray taking riding the engine around the Thanet constituency. Bottom left: (FLTR) Laurence, Laurence and Doug, the owners of the truck Photo: Jonathan Masters/ Pour Your Pint

13.5% cherry flavoured IPA which was particularly delicious. I was curious about his advice to future entrepreneurs, especially in light of the most recent Imperial entrepreneurial success story, Clotho, the eco-friendly online clothes trading store ran by two Imperial graduates. Laurence concluded: “I would definitely take any advice you’re given (especially from people with expertise in the your field), play to your strengths, and above all, just take the risk as it is definitely rewarding.”

The firetruck costs £2000 to rent, and your own beer must be provided. Check out www.pouryourpint.com for more information.

friday 1 May

VOLUME

IN CASE OF AN EMERGENCY BOP BREAK GLASS AND TURN IT UP!

coming up!

Date Event Time Location Friday 1 The Summer Ball Pre-Party 20:00 - 02:00 FiveSixEight & Metric Every Tuesday Super Quiz 20:00 - 22:00 FiveSixEight Every Wednesday CSP Wednesday 19:00 - 01:00 FiveSixEight & Metric

Every Wednesday Pub Quiz 19:00 - 22:00 Reynolds

Wednesday 6 PG Graduation Party 12:00 - 23:00 h-bar Friday 8 iPop 20:00 - 02:00 FiveSixEight & Metric Friday 8 Reynolds Cocktail Club 17:30 - 00:00 Reynolds imperialcollegeunion.org/whats-on FELIX THE STUDENT PAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON 01.05.2015 23 Arts [email protected] Arts Editors Fred Fyles & Kamil McClelland

Welcome Orange Tree: Lost in the Wild Back to Felix Arts! Max Falkenberg finds this Doris Lessing is lacking FRED FYLES KAMIL MCCLELLAND f only third time lucky always SECTION EDITORS worked out. With another long- Iwinded, lack lustre display from Yes, it’s term again and whilst you the Orange Tree, I am starting to lose have all been busy revising hard patience with Paul Miller’s tenure at in the library or more likely crying this fantastic theatre. over a tub of ice cream at 3am, the A rare early work by the Nobel Arts section has been hard at work Prize winning Doris Lessing, Each his going to press viewings and getting own Wilderness is branded a play about our hands on all the complimentary politics with all the passion usually wine we can. And so, whilst this reserved for sex. Although there are week’s edition represents a selection a number of interesting and lively of all that we have reviewed, be sure passages, the piece is let down by an to check out the Felix Arts section unnecessarily long runtime and a lack online for even more reviews of of coherence in deciding its theme. what has been going on all around Set in 1958 London, 22 year old London. Tony returns from National Service We start this first issue of exam to find his mother, Myra, the same term with a slight whimper, as Max bohemian activist she’s always been. Falkenberg is rather unimpressed Cold and disillusioned, Tony’s anger by the play Each His Own Wilderness and deep political scepticism provides at the Orange Tree Theatre. Long a lively contrast to his mother’s winded without any clear direction, idealism. this political play falls rather flat, With a supporting cast made up of despite some good quality acting Myra’s current and former lovers, performances in the main roles. the whole political spectrum is Despite promising to be an exciting entertainingly represented. Despite piece, an underdeveloped plot left the political topic of choice - the the piece integrally flawed. H-bomb - having somewhat lost Next, Clara Clark Nevola spends its significance in the last 50 years, the evening at a fabulous new opera discussion on the indifference of the at the Royal Opera House, Rossini’s young to politics and the futility of Il Turco In Italia. A comic opera protest movements stays remarkably containing a farcical love triangle, relevant today. this 19th century piece manages to Unfortunately, while the play’s stay relevant and hilarious, not just political message is rather enjoyable jokes left back in the past. (for those who can stand politics), the Joel MacCormack in Each His Own Wilderness at the Orange Tree Rules for Living at the National relationship between Tony and his Theatre Photo: Richard Hubert Smith Theatre may not seem much when mother falls a little flat. Unpleasant you first glance at the setting, a and bitter, Tony’s anger comes across some urgently needed relief in the tongue in cheek in the first half, middle-class Christmas dinner, but as distinctly adolescent, despite a early parts of the play. But the real Milly’s arrival really sets the ball you are soon pleasantly surprised. superb performance by young RADA nail in the coffin for this production rolling for the more comedic side of Overflowing with energy, the work graduate Joel MacCormack. Similarly, is Rosemary. Incredibly uninteresting the play. even has its own fight director, Clare Holden works well in the role of and childish, it seems Rosemary’s Despite what I’ve said, I don’t ensuring that it is piece full of irony, Myra, but both characters are plagued character has been written into want to give the impression that this comedy and drama. by a lack of development from start the play for the sole purpose of production is an outright failure. Finally, this one might be perfect to finish. demonstrating what it’s like to be Particular praise must be handed to for us Imperial students: a play It also doesn’t help that a number politically clueless. I really can’t Joel MacCormack whose performance about science. Telling the story of of the supporting roles are a little blame Rosie Holden’s performance really is exceptional given what the development of the atomic subpar. Roger Ringrose as Mike plays since the character she is given to he had to work with. Equally, the bomb, Oppenheimer at the Swan a naïve, elderly Labour politician who work with is dire, but she does little to performances of Josh Taylor as Theatre makes the complex topic of has been openly in love with Myra for find any redeeming features. Sandy and Susannah Harker are nuclear physics incredibly accessible, years. His performance is what one The play seems to ramble on stuck fun and refreshing. The staging and a refreshing change. Add to that would expect from such a character somewhere between the political scenery makes good use of the space excellent staging and a gripping but remains rather unexciting. In and personal for the full two and at the Orange Tree, and although the cast, Fred Fyles feels this is certainly contrast, Phillip, played by John a half hour runtime. Without play’s more intimate moments are a play to see, one of the best Lightbody, is a successful architect "The piece seeming to reach much of a political a little lost in the round, the general "The productions currently out. with the confidence to match. Having conclusion and with Tony and Myra’s atmosphere is enlivening. only real So, that’s it for now, make sure had a five year relationship with is let down relationship as frayed at the start Unfortunately, little can be done to tune in for next week’s section Myra previously, Myra’s longing for by its as at the finish, it all feels a little in to redeem the shaky plot and lack of highlight is where we have an excellent him is entertaining but adds little to needlessly vain. The only real highlight, apart development in this frankly under Susannah collection of various opera, art and the play. from the brief political commentary whelming play. It certainly wasn’t Harker as theatre reviews on offer. Plus, it For the first half, the cast is closed long already mentioned, is Susannah terrible, it wasn’t even particularly makes for great procrastination so out by Sandy, Myra’s 22 year old Harker as Milly, Sandy’s mother and bad, I just expected so much more Milly, who that, even for five minutes, you can lover, and Rosemary, a young girl runtime another Bohemian friend of Myra. from the Orange Tree. livens up escape the misery of the library’s engaged to Phillip. In truth, Sandy’s and lack of Sharp, witty and with a far more fourth floor and imagine you had character is remarkably refreshing; reasonable tone than many of the Each his Own Wilderness is on at the the second the time to actually go out in the the same age as Tony, but without all coherence" others, Milly livens up the second Orange Tree Theatre until May 16th. half" evening. the unpleasant cynicism, he provides half. Although there is a fair bit of Tickets from £10. Available online... 24 01.05.2015 THE STUDENT PAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FELIX Arts [email protected] Arts Editors Fred Fyles & Kamil McClelland An Operatic Romp through 60s Italy Clara Clark Nevola is taken on a journey to the fun side of the ROH

t would be understandable if a cosy with their girl. Conveniently, entertainment (The Royal Opera comic opera about a love triangle Selim’s spurned former-fiancé, now House’s Magic Flute, from earlier I– featuring a randy Turkish travelling around with a band of this season, is an example in kind), prince, a doddering old man, and his gypsies, is also on hand to add to the contributing to the perception that unfaithful young wife – struggled farcical love tangle. opera is for boring old farts. to be relevant. Throw in a few jokes Overshadowed by Rossini’s most Patrice Courier and Moshe Leiser’s about Gypsies, the inconstancy of famous comic opera, The Barber of clever directing is supported by a women, and old men falling into Seville, this performance rarely gets fantastic cast, who don’t seem to be plates of spaghetti and it turns into an put on, and the Royal Opera House’s too dignified to be comic actors as unpalatable cocktail of racism, sexism production (which premiered in well as world-class opera singers. The and slapstick comedy. 2005) is an exception. Its success lies leads are all incredibly real, believable Of course, there is a but. Somehow, in adding an extra layer of comedy people, achieving comedy while this Rossini opera wasn’t an operatic to the opera. Originally aimed at escaping the one-dimensionality version of the Daily Mail. Somehow, 18th century Italians, the libretto is which often tarnishes farcical theatre. it managed to re-stage 200 year old peppered with nationalistic speeches Fiorella (Alekzandra Kurzac) and jokes and make them genuinely and jokes at the expense of women, Selim (Ildebrando D’Arcangelo) are funny for a modern audience. Not foreigners, and Travellers. By staging also a beautiful soprano and bass fake, high-brow, isn’t-this-culturally- the piece in a stylised 60s Italy, the respectively, and make a musically enriching type funny – but pure, production allows the audience to balanced pair. The staging is so real laugh-out-loud funny. For laugh at a stereotypical image of colourful and sunny that you’ll a repertoire opera that is a real Italy, and thus makes the other jokes almost get a suntan by sitting in your achievement. ok too. Suddenly having a giggle seat – think pink beach umbrellas, Il Turco in Italia centres around a about the sexual benefits of harems palm trees and stylised landscapes in love triangle that turns into a love or the stealing habits of gypsies is bright, bold colours. pentagon as the story evolves. A fine, because after all you’ve just This is real comic opera, an ‘opera handsome Turkish prince, Salim, had a laugh about a giant pizza, an buffa’ as it was originally conceived. visits Italy on holiday and catches overdressed Italian dandy, and an The set is minimal and modern, the the eye of a local beauty, Fiorella. He old man sparring with a forkful of directors’ have taken some liberty thinks she’s majorly hot stuff, and spaghetti (this actually happened. An with the jokes, and the costumes they hit it off. Obviously Fiorella is extra reason to get yourself a ticket aren’t a faithful reproduction of the married to a naïve sugar-daddy style for this!). It’s simple but it’s genius, historical style. But the audience’s husband who’s not too happy about a revelation for the many musically laughter rang out throughout as it it all. He teams up with Fiorella’s beautiful but non-PC operas which would have on its first night, in 1814. Elvis-esque ex-lover (complete with fill theatres every year. The usual So three cheers for the Royal Opera yellow bomber jacket and turquoise tactic is to tone down the insalubrious The Royal Opera House’s Il Turco In Italia Photo: Tristram Kenton/The House, and down with the boring old Vespa) to stop the “Turk” getting too jokes at the expense of the public’s Guardian farts. The Rules of the Theatrical Game

confetti crowns the ‘winner’; but the and Rules for Living is no exception, over their daughter’s depression, to an extraordinary range of accents FRED FYLES most unique and intrusive aspects of with resentment turning into grudges for which she is going to receive – from Magnan, robbing from the SECTION EDITOR the design are the large scoreboards turning into outright warfare. Adam, surprise, surprise – CBT. At moments audience any sympathy that we may that flank the ends of the stage, upon whose dreams of being a cricket like this, where serendipity tips over have had for him. which the different family members’ star have been crushed thanks to a into heavy-handedness, the script can As the play progresses, the rules ny hope that the National various ‘rules for living’ flash up. Richie-Tenenbaum-Style meltdown feel somewhat sluggish, almost as if begin to get more and more complex, Theatre’s Rules For Living Thus insecure Adam (Steven Mangan) at Lord’s, is now stuck in a boring the audience is being spoken down to. piling up like a series of obstacles. Awould be a quiet affair was affects an accent to mock, uptight job as a solicitor; he’s been eclipsed The use of rules is a mixed blessing. For the most part, this works, but quickly dashed upon reading the Sheena (Claudie Blakley) must resort by his brother Matthew (Miles Jupp), On the one hand, it serves as a witty there are occasions where the script programme: tucked in the cast list is to alcohol whenever she wants to who instead was forced into legal piece of stagecraft, giving us a clever feels like a slave to the rules, rather an acknowledgement for Kate Waters contradict, and the matriarch of the work, thanks to his overbearing judge insight into the characters’ inner than the master. Thankfully the – Fight Director. This gives us a clear clan (Deborah Findlay) calms her of a father (John Rogan). Matthew lives; thus we experience a delicious team manage to hold their own, indication of the direction the play nerves by scrubbing every surface has rebelled – as best he can – by burst of dramatic irony when with standout performances from is going to go in, but really it should in sight. The result is a snappy play becoming involved with Carrie Matthew, who must sit down to tell a Findlay and Blakely. Two final things be obvious from the start - Rules that positively crackles with energy, (Maggie Service), a bubbly comedic lie, pulls up a chair to tell Sheena how to add: firstly, how refreshing it is For Living centres around that most although the format on occasion actor, trying to make it big in the tasty her gluten-free, dairy-free, joy- to see a play written, directed, and volatile of environments: the middle- limits the plot progression. world of drama. free mince pies are, and also a pang designed by women – this is the last class Christmas dinner. One of the major themes of the Although such characters may, on of sadness when he remains seated production at the National Theatre Director Marianne Elliott takes play is CBT, or Cognitive Behaviour paper, sound like a mere collection of to tell Carrie how much he loves her. under Nicholas Hytner, and I can Sam Holcroft’s explosive script, and Therapy, a form of psychotherapy in stereotypes, the way the cast handles Elsewhere, however, it falls somewhat only hope that such things continue transposes the action to the NT’s which the root cause of anxiety and the roles really brings them to life, flat, like for Carrie, whose rule – she with his successor. Secondly, the play Dorfman Theatre, whose seats rise up depression is sought out, and action not least Deborah Findlay, whose must stand up to tell a joke – means culminates in a massive food-fight, like bleachers at a high school grudge taken to prevent future occurrences. Edith is imbued with a duality of that she is forced to bounce around with a mashed-potato-as-pathos match, a comparison that is only It seems to me that many maternal love and simmering rage. the stage like an overexcited rabbit; mania as Christmas dinner is made stronger by Chloe Lamford’s scriptwriters could do with some form Claudie Blakely is also great in the sometimes this works, but other times decimated; unfortunately not all the set design. Lines mark out different of therapy, particularly those whose role of Sheena, trying to hold her it simply adds in another unnecessary cast have a great aim - if you’re sitting territories, there are zones like work involves a family at Christmas marriage together in the face of element. The most intrusive rule is in the front rows, I would recommend ‘Home’ and ‘Garden’, and at the end time - there is rarely a happy ending, mounting apathy from her husband undoubtedly Adam’s, which leads bringing a raincoat. FELIX THE STUDENT PAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON 01.05.2015 25 Arts [email protected] Arts Editors Fred Fyles & Kamil McClelland On Learning how to Love the Bomb Fred Fyles checks out RSC’s play on the father of the A-bomb

but rather a campaign borne out of the story - he manages to strike a fine the fear that the Nazis would get there balance between over- and under- first. The fact that a number of the information. As an audience we don’t scientists working at Los Alamos had feel spoken down to when the cast fled the seemingly-unstoppable tide begin describing the structure of the of European fascism helps to make atom (or at least, I didn’t; perhaps if the issue a lot more complex than it you’re studying nuclear physics such may appear at first. things may seem a bit more slow), but However, there are points within the theory never takes precedence the production when this desire to over the plot; instead the two aspects promote debate overstretches itself; work in perfect tandem, with one the result is a number of lengthy building and developing the other. near-monologues in which the This is helped by the clever staging characters grapple with the moral design, which gives every surface the confusion working on such a project ability to become a blackboard - a can bring, leading to a runtime which clever nudge towards the stereotype - at three hours long - certainly feels of the genius scientist, madly like a bit of a drag. Perhaps as time scribbling away on any available goes on the cast will be able to deliver space. The set it dominated by the such paragraphs with more pace, but interlinking girders upon which the it seems like Tom Morton-Smith’s atomic bomb descends during the script could certainly do with editing Trinity Test; like a pig-iron sword of down. Similarly, there are elements of damocles, they remind the viewer the play where subtle symbolism can that there is only one way things can spill over into psychological heavy- end: Hiroshima, Nagasaki, and over handedness: Oppenheimer can’t feel 100,000 dead. love for his baby because the bomb is Despite what Brian Cox’s popularity The company of the RSC’s Oppenheimer Photo: Keith Pattinson/RSC his child; the shroud of secrecy under would seem to tell us, it’s still difficult which the project is carried out is to make science ‘sexy’ (although he story of the Manhattan on the project would eventually closer to fascism than the socialism perhaps not physics: the number of Project, which saw the come to include twenty Nobel that he so loved; the scientists people applying for physics degrees TUnited States lead a team of laureates). Moving from the west always have purely knowledge-based has increased by 40% over four years). international scientists developing coast to Los Alamos, New Mexico, motivations, while the military (boo!) Therefore, we should applaud director the first nuclear weapon, has gone whose empty deserts allow scientific are only interested in personal gain. Angus Jackson, who manages to steer down in popular legend: Einstein inspiration to ‘find’ Oppie; as his While these elements don’t happen his RSC cast through a script that, (that most cuddly of nuclear passion for the project builds, too often, they do feel like missteps, despite a few areas of weakness, is physicists) recommending that the US Oppenheimer sacrifices his friends, jerking us out of the action with a generally extremely solid. Subatomic begin work on ‘extremely powerful his family, and his very morality in sharp tug. physics has rarely looked so good. bombs’, mushroom clouds above the pursuit of scientific achievement. They are, however, partially offset Oppenheimer is on at the Swan New Mexican desert, and J. Robert John Hefferman is brilliant as by the skill with which Morton-Smith Theatre until 23rd May. Tickets from Oppenheimer quoting the Bhagavad Oppenheimer, creating a cocktail of deals with the scientific aspects of £25, available online Gita - it’s all been burned onto our a character who is one part smooth, collective consciousness. Such a sophisticated revolutionary, one thing was surely a mixed blessing part mad scientist. Ben Allen and to playwright Tom Morton-Smith, Tom McCall are wonderful in their whose production detailing the respective roles of Edward Teller and creation of ‘The Bomb’, Oppenheimer, Hans Bethe, one all cold Hungarian has transferred to London’s West intelligence, the other a model End, following a critically acclaimed of Teutonic good-naturedness. run in Stratford-upon-Avon. When Similarly, Catherine Steadman the public believe that they have a brings a bold physicality to her role good grasp on a piece of history - as I of Jean Tatlock, the doomed lover of am sure a lot of people do about the Oppenheimer, who first introduced Manhattan Project - it can be difficult him to radical politics - it’s a pity, to make them see any other way; then, that her part isn’t nearly as however, with Oppenheimer Morton- fleshed out as I would have liked. Smith has created a finely scripted It is easy, with the privilege of historical drama, which sticks hindsight, to condemn the naivety "The closely to the truth whilst still being "John of the scientists involved. When entertaining, no doubt thanks to the Oppenheimer claims that the nuclear heaviness fine cast of the Royal Shakespeare Hefferman bomb would mark ‘an end to all Company. war’, we can sit smug in our tower of the We begin with the Einstein- is brilliant of dramatic irony, surveying the script is Szliárd letter, in which Roosevelt as Oppie, wreckage of Sarajevo, of Georgia, of was warned about the possibility Gaza; but to take such an attitude is to offset by of Hitler developing an atomic creating belittle the intentions of the scientists the skill weapon; as a result, the brilliant J. a smooth involved. What Oppenheimer does with which Robert Oppenheimer, or ‘Oppie’ - particularly well is help to return the communist, radical, genius - is called cocktail of nuance to the arguments surrounding the science up to direct a team of internationally a character" the Manhattan Project: it was not a is dealt" Catherine Steadman (Jean Tatlock) and John Hefferman (J Robert renowned scientists (those working simple case of American dominance, Oppenheimer) in Oppenheimer Photo: Keith Pattinson/RSC 26 01.05.2015 THE STUDENT PAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FELIX Music [email protected] Music Editors Grace Rahman & Amna Askari

declared that “To write poetry after Auschwitz is barbaric”. Whether Boulez at 90: The Enfant you agree or not, it is clear that art could not continue as before and ignore the new reality. In the 20th Century an unprecedented diversity of musical thought emerged, ranging Terrible of Modern Music from the reactionary and easy- going minimalists to the strictures of serialism. Boulez, at least at the start of his career, was a certified Emiel de Lange explores the new musical serialist. Serialism was a method, developed by Arnold Schoenberg in vocabulary of one of the 20th Century’s most the 1920s, which attempted to free music from the “tyranny” of the tonal centre, allowing the other musical controversial composers parameters, such as rhythm and timbre to take centre-stage. After the war, Boulez and others would extend this beyond tone to all the parameters of sound, a style known as total serialism. This rigid, highly formulised way of writing music was attacked for its asceticism, for its artifice and sterility, and for its lack of expression. Boulez himself realised these limits, but his later music retains certain aspects, including a focus on architecture and structure rather than expression or sensuality. This certainly sets him apart from past French composers, such as Debussy or Ravel, but then again Boulez was working in a new world. His musical mission seems altogether higher, and in his own words was nothing less than the construction of a new ‘musical language’.

“If you want a kind of supermarket aesthetic, OK, do that, nobody will be against it, but everybody will eventually forget it”

His first great success was ‘Le marteau sans maitre’, or, ‘The hammer without a master’, first performed in 1955. The orchestration was new and cosmopolitan – combining instruments from all over the world into groups and allowing an abstraction of timbre from instrumental identities. Although it is set to surrealist poetry, the music is structured at even the smallest scale according to techniques derived from serialism such as pitch multiplication. In the Pierre Boulez as conductor of the BBC Symphony Orchestra. Photo: BBC Radio 3 decades since, Boulez has published fewer than 20 works, but each are, ierre Boulez is the career has swayed many, undoubtedly entertained themselves at balls in in the words of George Benjamin, controversial figure at influencing the course of music ornate palaces; the Enlightenment “singular statements, singular and the forefront of musical history, and it certainly does display ideals of rationality and form were unique works”, something unique development in the 20th a penetrating and unabashed manifest. When Beethoven wrote his and I think entirely appropriate for Century.P Though equally respected intelligence. Of course, his music is dramatic symphonies, full of angst "It is our cultural milieu. Also unique is the by his enemies as by his supporters, a the true testament to this: original, and triumph, society was turning manner in which Boulez continually certain stubbornness and radicalism endlessly thought provoking, and inward and Napoleon’s conquests impossible revises his work and perfects them has alienated many. For instance, constantly being reinvented; the inspired the ideas of great men. The to imagine further, as if reaching closer to some in 1952 he declared in one fell "In 1971 he Guardian says “it is impossible to 20th Century began with two wars ideal expression of the piece’s logic. swoop half of the musical world as imagine […] the entire musical world of unprecedented scale. Industrial the entire In these later works he experiments useless, in 1967 that opera houses advocated without Pierre Boulez”. But then why technology enabled the destruction musical with the use of chance to determine should be blown up, and in 1971 he for the haven’t you heard of him? And, at the of a generation, and entire peoples, structure (‘Pli selon pli’), spatial advocated for the destruction of recent 90th birthday celebrations at while in peacetime dehumanised the world organisation of sound (‘Rituel in the Mona Lisa. But read past these destruction the Barbican, why was the hall half lower classes and manufactured a without memoriam Bruno Maderna’) and the shocking soundbites and you may empty? commodified culture for the masses. use of electronics (such as in ‘Repons’). find yourself in fact following his of the The masterpieces of Mozart were At least, this is the pessimistic view Pierre It was in 1970 that then-president arguments. Indeed the vast literature Mona Lisa." written at a time when men wore of social theorists such as Theodor Boulez." Georges Pompidou invited Boulez to he has produced throughout his powdered wigs and aristocrats Adorno, who, in 1949, famously build an institute for musical research FELIX THE STUDENT PAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON 01.05.2015 27 Music [email protected] Music Editors Grace Rahman & Amna Askari

Institut de Recherche et Coordination Acoustique/Musique ­(IRCAM). Photo: ircam.fr in Paris, and this is where much of Universally popular it certainly the capabilities of electronic music isn’t. Boulez’s own diagnosis is were developed. IRCAM – l’Institut that people use music as a sort of de Recherche et Coordination backdrop to their own thoughts Acoustique/Musique – was a hotbed while his music demands complete of innovation, with computer attention. Although unwilling scientists and acousticians working to compromise on his duties as directly alongside composers. composer, as a conductor he has Pioneering work on FM synthesis was enjoyed international fame, winning carried out and programmes for the 26 Grammy awards and raising the real-time modulation of sound were profile of 20th Century music to the developed (such as MAX). MAX has highest acclaim it has enjoyed. In been instrumental in the creation of the 70s he was musical director of some of the most important musical both the BBC Symphony Orchestra compositions in recent decades, such (in London) and the New York as Birtwhistle’s opera, The Mask of Philharmonic, reinvigorating the Orpheus. Boulez himself wrote a musical life of these two cities. In number of works in the early days of New York, he organised ‘rug concerts’ IRCAM, exploring the potential for where audiences were exposed to computers to manipulate sound in contemporary music in new ways. real-time, for example, in ‘Repons’ Now at 90 years old, he no longer where a programme is used to conducts, and indeed achievements provide an altered echo of certain in the concert hall were only instruments. transient, but I have no doubt that Boulez’s music is difficult. It is his compositions will be remembered unlike Mozart or Beethoven or and become more widely understood anything heard before, and has not in the future. enjoyed broad public appeal (yet). Personally, I have found exploring But his contributions are valuable; the music of Pierre Boulez to be his language is objective and free one of my most rewarding musical of any history, it is one of the most explorations. In my efforts to successful responses to the events understand this language I have and conditions of the 20th century. If been taken back in time to medieval people complain of its atonality and Europe and around the world. While I difficulty, they should think of music "His music am still a huge fan of what historians from other cultures, which can sound is one of call ‘common practice period’ music, equally alien and provide unequivocal such as Beethoven and Mozart, and evidence for tonal systems being the the most also of more popular styles from result of cultural conditioning. In this successful the last decades, I see now how the way, Boulez’s music can be seen as a immediate appeal of these styles is the universal music, rooted in the equally responses result of lifetime exposure. Attending universal language of mathematics. to the the Boulez at 90 events at the Barbican recently was an important “The strongest civilisations are those events and catalyst in my appreciation. With without memory - those capable of a full day of concerts, talks, and complete forgetfulness. They are strong conditions documentaries I was thrown in at the enough to destroy because they know of the 20th deep end, but quickly learnt to swim. they can replace what is destroyed. Today I hope you will join me in exploring our musical civilisation is not strong” century." the art of one of the most radical and Pierre Boulez (1968) Photo: Creative Commons forceful minds in modern music. 28 01.05.2015 THE STUDENT PAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FELIX Travel [email protected] Travel Editor Yung Nam Cheah

Volunteer Experience: Working away in Chile’s Colchagua Valley

Because sometimes what Chris Richardson needs is a holiday from his holiday

Work exchanges are a great way to travel. Photo: WWOOF

’m sure you’re all depressingly that includes – above all, for me – familiar with the concept of working with people. It also trumps Iunpaid internships by now: roll any voluntourism opportunities in with a smile, do a little grunt work, you’re likely to stumble across online: leave with a frown, only to be replaced it’s often similar work, but simply by the next person on the unending relies on you taking the initiative to list of the exploited. WorkAway.info drop a couple of emails as opposed is a little different. In exchange for a to throwing a load of cash at some mere 25 hours of work per week, you uncharitable agency. at least get free room and board. That So what’s the drill? After you pay and the experiences are typically a a small subscription fee, you’ll have little more uplifting than shadowing access to thousands of hosts in almost and fixing coffee. And as you’re every country in the world. Filter breaking even each week, this will also by continent, country, region, and allow you to sustain your travels over keyword. See who fits your criteria, a longer period. Most of all, it gives assess their feedback score, and drop you time to properly settle into a emails accordingly. Make it personal particular place: you get to really feel and include dates, and you’ll have the vibe as opposed to just box-ticking jobs lined up in no time, providing the colonial buildings and museums you start looking as early as possible. deemed worthy of inclusion by the I can’t rate it enough: sometimes Lonely Planet. what you need is a holiday from your WorkAway features continuously holiday, and a lot of the things on in works of lifestyle design guru "A lot of offer are truly interesting and unique. Tim Ferriss: if that’s not enough to things on It might even have the knock-on give it a moment of consideration effect of putting you out of sync with then I’m not sure what is. Unless you offer are all the people you’ve met on your have a particular passion for organic interesting route, so you’ll have the added bonus farming, I think it’s much better of meeting some new faces when you than WWOOFing, as it offers a vast and unique" eventually re-emerge. repertoire of different kinds of work The beautiful vineyards of Colchagua Valley. Photo: Chris Richardson FELIX THE STUDENT PAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON 01.05.2015 29 Travel [email protected] Travel Editor Yung Nam Cheah

Volunteer Experience: Working away in Chile’s Colchagua Valley

outh America, Chile, wine. That addition to my work on the vineyard simple little search linked me up and with Mario, my stay coincided Swith Familia Espino in the heart with the area’s largest wine harvest of Colchagua Valley, the nation’s festival, an excellent weekend of famed wine region that’s rapidly outstanding food and wonderful gaining traction on both the gringo wines. The house is also a short bus trail and luxury travel market, while ride from capital Santiago, so it’s still retaining the charm of a place perfectly doable to spend a couple well within its prime. In the run-up to of weekends away partying with my stay, I’d partied my way through whoever you happen to have met Rio Carnival, CouchSurfed with on your travels. And for the wave some crazies across Argentina, and worshippers among you, Chilean surf burnt what remained of my energy haven Pichilemu is just a short drive and sanity at Lollapalooza Festival – away: the family have a car you can decompression was long overdue. borrow (a UK license will suffice) and The job appealed to me because I friends that can hook you up with wanted a combination of vineyard equipment. Oh, and the local produce work and care work, which is exactly markets make Borough Market look what the job delivered. The family like Morrisons markdowns. home is on the fringe of Marchigue, a I’d say I picked up a lot more than beautiful town set against a backdrop what I’d initially expected from the of picturesque mountaintops and job description: on top of learning endless vineyards, and the home itself a thing or two about wine and comes equipped with a well-groomed finding new friends in my hosts, I Carmanere vineyard at its rear. Any was continuously kept on my toes at work on the vineyard will of course mealtimes, due to the rapid pace of vary depending on the time of year, "A Chilean Spanish and varied topics of culminating in the late April harvest, conversation. at which point grapes are shipped wonderful On that note, I’d say this off for processing and bottling. WorkAway WorkAway is a particularly good Following an unfortunate accident call for anyone wanting longer-term the family’s son Mario now relies on a debut that experience with a single patient, wheelchair for much of his mobility: I’d love to those applying for graduate-entry he receives around-the-clock care and medicine, or someone simply looking sessions with medical professionals, replicate for a slight change of pace and so the role is predominately social, and would decompression from big city life. For with as many elements of physiothe me the experience was a wonderful rapy as you’re willing to engage with. recommend WorkAway debut that I’d love to I spent a month with Familia to anyone" replicate and would recommend to Espino and had a fantastic time. In anyone.

The beautiful vineyards of Colchagua Valley. Photo: Chris Richardson Photo: Emiliana FELIX THE STUDENT PAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON 01.05.2015 30 Television [email protected] Television Editors Guila Gabrielli & John Park My new wind-swept, muscly hero Giulia Gabrielli looks at the Nation’s new addiction to Poldark.

rarely write an article about a The situation took a turn for the programme and focus so much worse in episode 3, when Turner I interest on its main character. made a habit of appearing without a Of course there are heartthrobs who shirt. keep you glued to the screen, but Ross There are other characters in the Poldark is different. The reason why show, good ones even, like Ross’s love he is different, is that rarely such a interest Demelza (played by Eleanor hype has been built around a single Tomlinson), there are plotlines character, to the detriment of an and cliff-hangers, the works, but I otherwise rather empty show. fear in a couple of weeks all we will The story of the nation’s obsession remember is the scene where Poldark with the Cornish hunk started in works his field bare-chested. This one 1975, when the BBC began airing the particular scene caught the interest series Poldark starring Robin Ellis. I of warm-blooded women and farmers guess as often happens, it probably concerned with health and safety started earlier with the Winston alike. Graham books being published in Adding to the distractions, the 1940s and 50s, but those were darker series, which started off strong with times, without any pictures. an interesting story of love and loss Looking at Robin Ellis now it’s and with just enough talk of war hard to understand what of his weird and poverty, ended on a real low on 1970’s looks, hairdo and all, was so Sunday. The finale was jam-packed appealing to the ladies. However, this with half-hearted emotional plot- gentleman has forever been cursed turns and it didn’t help that the with having played the dark Cornish special effects guy was left loose, free gentleman. to experiment with all his arsenal of Now a similar curse could fall on filters, providing a rather confusing Those muscles! Aidan Turner preparing for one of the show’s most famous scenes. Photo: the shoulders of actor Aidan Turner. watch. BBC After portraying Kili in The Hobbit, The real fall of Poldark, however, vampire John Mitchell in Being could have been anticipated by it will be the wrong kind of attention, virgin land full of copper, beautiful Human and Dante Gabriel Rossetti about the famous episode 3. Having with most of the viewers interested in flowers and great accents (though not in Desperate Romantics, Turner has bigged Ross up as the main male love a little bit of light entertainment (the from Turner, who can barely hide his landed a role that might haunt him, interest, and having provided him "Turner show was aired on a Sunday night for "Turner’s native Irish twang). and even worse in TV terms, typecast with a contentious love triangle, the landed a crying out loud). abs were It also taught us about Aidan him, forever. authors decided to marry him off In addition, you have to find Turner’s abs, although these were After the first episode of the to one of the two ladies to focus on role that something a little more engaging hardly a hardly a mistery after his efforts in show aired, in fact, all magazines more political themes. This is a noble could haunt than copper mines and smeltering mistery Desperate Romantics to bare all the and morning shows (which as we effort, but one which comes with companies, the details of which I skin possible. know is where the real TV gossip some danger. him, worst, still fail to understand. All in all, after his Seeing how empty the underlying can be found) could focus on were In order to write a period drama typecast Poldark was a fun substitute for efforts in themes are and how averge most of Aidan Turner’s rugged looks. Thus addressing the social injustice of the Call the Midwife on BBC’s Sunday the storylines can be, I will probably completely ignoring Turner’s, and epoch, you definitely can’t have half- him, programming, and certainly a more Desperate not be tuning in for season 2, which everyone else’s, relatively mediocre naked hunks advertising the show. Of forever." light-hearted one. It taught most of us Romantics." has already been confirmed, but 5.9M performances. course you will attract attention, but a lot about 1780s Cornwall, an almost viewers probably disagree with me.

Beautiful beaches of Britain Look behind the well-sculpted muscles of Ross Poldark smacking their lips in delight. Even less subtle was the and you’ll see the Cornish coastline. This is not the first attempt of 2012’s series True Love to publicise the holiday time that a British beach has proven to be a co-star on town of Margate, Kent. The narrative, also featuring a TV show. I guess when you can’t boast the sun and David Tennant, was relatively poor, focusing individual the white sands, and when “it’s so bracing” (read “cold episodes on different inhabitants of the small town, and miserable”) becomes your catch phrase, a little bit all linked to each other. The hype was maintained by of publicity is always welcome. A similar fame to that promises of lesbian kisses with Billie Piper and, of that will inevitably be encountered by the beaches of course, epic coastal panoramas. I guess these shows Poldark has already been experienced by the Dorset serve as reminders of what television’s prime purpose coast where the TV drama Broadchurch was set. The is: a broadcast for all things new and beautiful. A cynic show was a police drama so dark and disturbing it is a may interpret this as an attempt to bring people to surprise that people could watch it and think of their small, rapidly deflating towns. However, I like to think of next holiday location. However, the brilliant writing and it as more of an educational journey to discover all this acting by David Tennant (Dr Who) and Olivia Coleman lovely country has to offer, which is so much more than (every other TV/movie show ever) wasn’t the only thing the view from Waterloo Bridge. Thus reconfirming the viewers appreciated, at least in the first season, before BBC’s mission “to inform, educate and entertain”. shares dropped dramatically. Currently property prices The stunning location of Broadchurch. Photo: BBC America are on the rise in the area and local businesses are GIULIA GABRIELLI FELIX THE STUDENT PAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON 01.05.2015 31 Film [email protected] Film Editors Ellen Mathieson, John Park and Jack Steadman

This Week Facing up to the force of nature at Imperial ABENA TAYLOR-SMITH Cinema WRITER

FORCE MAJEURE Director: Ruben Östlund Screenplay: Ruben Östlund Cast: Johannes Kunke, Lisa Loven Kongsli, Vincent Wettergren, Clara Wettergren, Kristofer Hivju

orce Majeure (or Turist if you’re Swedish), is written and Fdirected by Ruben Östlund. It is a disaster movie but not as we know it. You see, the disaster doesn’t actually happen. Tomas and his wife Photo: Ruben Östlund/Curzon Film World Imperial Cinema are back for the Ebba are on a skiing holiday in the new term, and with Inherent Vice French Alps with their two children, Östlund’s script cleverly explores and insecurity. Östlund suggests already under our belts we’re Vera and Harry. Young, attractive the concept of masculinity and that men are oppressed by society’s already looking to the Academy and wealthy, they seem to be the ideal reverses traditional gender expectation for them to be heroic in Awards for our next film... middle-class family. stereotypes: Ebba is the hero while dangerous situations. Up next, the Oscar-winning When an avalanche approaches Tomas is the coward. Even after overwhelming evidence Julianne Moore stars in Still with gathering speed, it seems certain It’s always heartening to see a to the contrary, Tomas does not Alice, the story of an American that it will completely engulf the strong female protagonist and admit that he, as an individual, was professor diagnosed with early- family. Ebba is no exception. She is a well- scared. A breezy, “we were terrified” onset Alzheimer’s Disease. In a split-second decision, Tomas rounded character with strength and is the closest he can get, speaking Moore is undeniably the grabs his smartphone and runs, incisiveness as well as vulnerability. for his wife and children as a sneaky highlight of the film, in a role leaving Ebba to protect their She does not wait to be rescued like employment of safety in numbers. that saw her sweep virtually screaming children and brace herself a typical damsel in distress, instead This film is smart, sharply written every Best Actress award going, for the onslaught. It never comes. showing courage and demanding the and well-observed, a deserving winner but there’s still much more What follows is an unflinching, "In a split- same of her husband. "It’s one of the 2014 Cannes Un Certain besides to recommend. tragicomic depiction of Tomas’s second She’s not perfect though. She of the Regard Prize. Based on the best-selling return to the family he effectively sidesteps every opportunity to discuss The only complaint is that it feels novel of the same name, Still left for dead. Clearly he has a lot of decision, the avalanche with the children, year’s best a touch long but this only adds to Alice features an all-star cast explaining to do. Yet in a disastrous Tomas presumably because the actual events releases so the impression of time dragging on alongside Moore, including Alec bid to save face he refuses to are too painful to explain so she the holiday from hell. It’s one of the Baldwin, Kristen Stewart and acknowledge running away. grabs his plumps for saying nothing. far, and year’s best releases so far and well Kate Bosworth. The performances are faultless, Interestingly, the women are the worth a watch. Written and directed by especially from Lisa Loven Kongsli phone and most sympathetic characters, being well worth We may all condemn Tomas from Richard Glazer and Wash as the seething Ebba and Johannes runs." fairly level-headed and reasonable, a watch." a position of relative safety but until Westmoreland, this intimate, Kuhnke as Tomas, floundering in his while the men are the least likeable that situation is upon us, can we truly understated film is a powerful wife’s hostility. with their fragile balance of bravado know how we would respond? look at Alzheimer’s and how it can affect those we love. Still Alice is playing at Imperial Cinema on Tuesday 5th May and Thursday 7th May at 19:00. Trailer Watch: Star Wars awakens Tickets are £3 for members and £4 for non-members. Doors open around 15 minutes JACK STEADMAN The opening shot is instantly iconic before the start of the film. SECTION EDITOR - a slow pan across a desert planet To buy membership or to find that’s since been named as Jakku (not out more information, visit: Tatooine, the series’ previous sandy imperialcinema.co.uk. ith the summer landscape) that reveals a downed blockbuster season fast X-wing, and behind it, a crashed Star Wapproaching, it’s time Destroyer. for Hollywood’s immeasurably There’s a voiceover that sounds vast marketing machine to get the like it might be Mark Hamill’s Luke ball rolling on showing off the big Skywalker, taking about the presence upcoming films of 2015. of the Force in his family over shots Causing the biggest splash by a of Darth Vader’s melted helmet, Luke Photo: JJ Abrams/Disney considerable margin was the second (we think - there’s a lot of speculation teaser for Star Wars Episode VII: in this trailer) placing a mechanical X-Wings skimming across the lake as Rey, as well as confirmation that The Force Awakens. The first teaser hand on R2-D2 and someone from the first teaser, replete with a John Boyega’s Finn is a stormtrooper didn’t offer a huge amount in the (presumably Leia, going by the far more excited Poe Dameron (Oscar of some kind. Throw in a glimpse of way of details, and while the new dialogue) being handed a lightsaber. Isaac). Kylo Ren, the film’s big bad, more of teaser still isn’t what could be called As the voiceover concludes, the Other highlights include the the Millenium Falcon and a chrome- forthcoming there’s certainly a lot to establishing shots start to come thick first close-up of Daisy Ridley, the plated stormtrooper, and Star Wars take in. and fast. There’s another look at the previously unknown soon-to-be-star, looks very exciting indeed... 32 01.05.2015 THE STUDENT PAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FELIX Film [email protected] Film Editors Ellen Mathieson, John Park and Jack Steadman The Age of Ultron is upon us

It’s time for the final entry in Marvel’s ‘Phase Two’, as the Avengers come together once more to face their greatest foe

JACK STEADMAN counterpart’s starring moment, this to do a lot of leg work in just getting SECTION EDITOR Quicksilver has a more prolonged role everyone together, Age of Ultron in the storyline to compensate. starts off with pretty much everyone Naturally this first battle is won involved (at least early on) being a by the Avengers – although the known quantity. AVENGERS: AGE OF Maximoffs are still at large – and it With that, it has plenty of room to ULTRON appears that Hydra may have finally go off and explore the bonds between Director: Joss Whedon been put to rest, and the team can characters, and toy with just how they Screenplay: Joss Whedon relax in style. bounce off one another. Cast: Robert Downey Jr., Chris At the party, Whedon’s typical The connection between Black Evans, Jeremy Renner, Scarlett quick-witted interplay comes to the Widow (Scarlett Johansson) and Bruce Johansson, Mark Ruffalo fore, providing a stream of laughs Banner/the Hulk (Mark Ruffalo) while also showing that these are seems to have only grown since the all characters he understands. A first film – not something anyone contest to try and lift Thor’s hammer really seems to have seen coming quickly lays out the traits of the group – while the ideological conflicts alongside a healthy dose of comedy. between Captain America (Chris here’s a lot to be said about And then Ultron (played Evans) and Iron Man start to simmer sequels and their relationships magnificently by James Spader) nicely before Civil War. Tto their predecessors, and it’s arrives to ruin it all. Age of Ultron is a hugely character- almost all been said before. So with Ultron is a fascinating villain. driven piece, much more so than the usual preamble resoundingly Despite the film’s hefty running time, its predecessor (and arguably the skipped, the heart of the matter is and his presence in most of it, he still other Marvel films). It’s to Whedon’s this: Age of Ultron very much shares feels weirdly under-used. enormous credit that it never loses the traditional trait of being a ‘darker’ Created by Tony Stark (Robert any entertainment value for that, and sequel. It sheds the bombast and Downey, Jr.) in an attempt to craft it feels like a much richer film for it. excitement of the first Avengers a global peace-keeping program, he Avengers occasionally stumbled film for something more intense, definitely has some daddy issues in its handling of characters, often more personal, and ultimately more alongside his need to see the human feeling like the Tony Stark Show, to fulfilling. race driven to extinction for its own the detriment of smaller characters Avengers The first film was very slow-burn, good. like Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner), which taking its time to piece the team His reasoning behind this – and is probably why it’s such a joy here together – often by pitting the therefore his entire motivation for that Hawkeye is the absolute heart of various Avengers against each other doing anything in the film – doesn’t Age of Ultron. first – before everything comes feel as fully explored or fleshed out It’s hard to put into words just how together in a triumphant climactic as it could be. It just sort of ‘is.’ It’s much Hawkeye matters to this film. battle in the middle of New York. acknowledged a lot, but not really Almost all of the humanity either Age of Ultron gets all of that discussed. comes from or is directly related to Re-Assembled business out of the way immediately, The daddy issues only really get one him, and it gives the film the vast opening in medias res with the moment of being dealt with – and it’s majority of its emotional beats. Avengers’ assault on Baron von a glorious one that reveals volumes Discussions on how mere mortals Strucker’s mountainous fortress (last about Ultron as a character, which is like Hawkeye are working alongside Photo: Joss Whedon/Disney seen in the post-credits stinger for The why it’s a shame there aren’t more of these gods (literally, in one case) Winter Soldier). them. to become something genuinely and it was a resounding success, so Within the first few minutes, But there’s always an underlying heroic, simply because it’s their day it’s not exactly an original claim, there’s a new twist on that shot from tension to the whole thing, with job. Inspiring speeches on duty and but the arrival of Vision heralds the the last film, as well as a chance to Ultron very much being his father’s sacrifice. Musings on family, and dawn of Phase 3. You can feel the see all of the Avengers in action creation: even his speech rhythms what being an Avenger means for shift happening around him, as the – including the new additions to subconsciously echo Stark’s, making that. It all stems from Hawkeye. And dark, broody Phase 2 gives way to the the equation, Quicksilver (Aaron for some entertaining subversion of it is wonderful. gloriously insane, enormous in scale Taylor-Johnson) and Scarlet Witch standard villain tropes. The only thing that stops him from Phase 3. (Elisabeth Olsen), although they’re "Age of But while the father-son dynamic "Ultron is a stealing the entire show is The Vision The film embraces Vision’s not called that here. Not yet. This Ultron of Stark and Ultron doesn’t fully get fascinating (Paul Bettany). The Vision is an weirdness with outright glee, and early on, they’re still Pietr and its due, the relationships between absolute picture – he looks deliriously he’s easily the best addition to the Wanda Maximoff – and they’re on is very other characters are almost all given villian [but] weird, and it feels like he marks the franchise from this film. the opposite side to the Avengers. much a a chance to shine. Vision in particular he feels point where the Marvel Cinematic That shift between MCU Any fears that this version of gets his own father-son storyline with Universe finally tips over into the Phases doesn’t come without its Quicksilver wouldn’t match up to the traditional Ultron – one which has a great deal weirdly kooky, magical space drama side of simultaneous upsides and downsides, one seen in last year’s X-Men: Days of ‘darker’ more resolution than Ultron and under- things. however. Future Past can be laid to rest; while he Stark’s – and it’s one that lands with Guardians of the Galaxy was the first There are multiple references to doesn’t quite have any one moment sequel." genuine meaning. used." film to really embrace that non- future storylines that feel more than a that matches up to his X-Men More generally, where Avengers had Earth-bound side of the universe, little shoe-horned in: Thor’s side-plot FELIX THE STUDENT PAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON 01.05.2015 33 Film [email protected] Film Editors Ellen Mathieson, John Park and Jack Steadman

Avengers Re-Assembled

Photo: Joss Whedon/Disney with the Infinity Stones doesn’t do a by Captain Marvel in the film’s final segments (one hit in particular But what huge amount beyond introduce them scene, but she was ultimately switched triggered the audience I was with to (once more) as a concept, and vaguely out for another (unnamed here) burst out into cheering and applause), about the 3D? set up Ragnarok in the process (in its character. and it’s still a visual treat. defence, it does at least get closure of All this talk of character beats and Whedon knows that what was As with almost every major sorts, so it’s not exactly an unresolved emotions doesn’t mean that Age of magical once won’t necessarily be blockbuster being released these plot-thread that doesn’t work in-film). Ultron doesn’t still deliver on the magical again, and he’s delivered a days, Age of Ultron has been The various mentions of Wakanda "The film action. It does, it really does. different film that satisfies those released in both 3D and 2D. But (the home of Black Panther) appear The special effects are second needs while also providing something is the extra spend on the 3D in a scene that feels like it might embraces to none, the action is (mostly) more. "In place of worth it? well have been cut if it didn’t need wonderfully shot (it occasionally It’s not as euphoric as Avengers, euphoria Unless you’re heading to see to exist to set up those plot threads – Vision’s gets a little choppy and confusing, a but that may well have been asking the film in IMAX, not really. The although since that scene then leads weirdness complaint that never held for the first the impossible, and the unnecessary. comes 3D does get some use, but it’s to Ultron’s daddy issues outburst, it’s film), and it makes great use of all the In place of the euphoria comes something nothing special and its presence a fairly good one to have kept in. with characters. something more mature and more doesn’t really add to the film in One of the main disappointments outright There’s no standout moment – meaningful. Where there was once more any noticeable way. from the film actually comes from nothing like “Hulk… smash” or Iron only the fight, now there is a reason to The visual are plenty the absence of a future film set-up: glee." Man’s adventure into the portal – but keep fighting. mature." sumptuous enough without it. FX plates were shot for an appearance there are plenty of cheer-worthy You can’t ask for more than that. 34 01.05.2015 THE STUDENT PAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FELIX

No. 1603 1st May - 8th May 2015 FREE STUDENTS LAUNCH CAMPAIGN TO PROVE THEY SHOULDN’T BE INVOLVED IN POLITICS

INSIDE: KAYE ACTUALLY FARAGE LOVECHILD? FELIX THE STUDENT PAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON 01.05.2015 35

News in Brief: UK set to elect man in 2015 General Election HANGMAN [email protected] Hangman exclusively reveals NEWS WITHOUT THE NEWS Summer Ball headliner

sing some of the most to reuse your old tea bags to make a (more than the Felix General Election complex algorithms known deckchair. exit poll, Hangman is obliged to point Uto man, our staff at Hangman There is then the promise of some out). have managed to decode the puzzle of Bennett’s hot tracks from her In fact, we can now reveal that for who would be headlining the as-yet unreleased mixtape which is 56% of imperial students would fuck Imperial summer ball, eventually set to debut if they ever win any seats David Cameron, with many citing discovering that the answer was outside of Brighton, so it’s very likely their wish to hate fuck them as their “Green”. this will be a one off performance. motivation. Hangman then proceeded to dig up This mixtape contains such hits as One student said that they would Alan Turing’s body and reanimate it. “No plans for where the money for marry Ed Miliband due to the fact Once he had regained consciousness, our policies will come from”, and his deep brown eyes filled them with Hangman forced him to help us work “We’ll ban animal testing, regardless not only a heavy sense of security, but out that this clue was referring to the of the help they provide for modern also an uncontrollable urge to fuck Felix Editor attempts to liven up fact that the main act would in fact be medicine”. him right in the arse with a kiwi fruit. Natalie Bennett, leader of the Green Hangman also found blueprints Nick Clegg received an incredibly Staff Briefings Party. for a mobile solar panel that would large number of avoid votes, which After Alan had done that we then “create energy from how on fire when Hangman contacted him for coerced him into hacking into the Bennet’s mixtape would be”, filling his opinion, replied that he was Green party’s email system, which us with a lot of optimism for June the “extremely disappointed”, and said took no time at all due to their something-th, and we’re sure that all that “he would be more committed password being “I <3 trees”. seven people that have bought tickets this time”. From this, Hangman can now will enjoy the display. Hangman now does not reply to his exclusively reveal the content of For many this will be a calls anymore and has blocked him on Bennett’s act. controversial choice as in the recent Facebook. From what we’ve been able Hangman election survey, nobody Unfortunately the amount of nudes to decode from their illiterate said they would fuck or marry Natalie we’re currently getting sent is slowing ramblings, there will be a live Bennett. down our servers and we might have compost act to start off with, followed The “fuck, marry, avoid” survey was to take out a restraining order in by her showing the audience how answered by 749 Imperial students order to get this issue out on time. Hangman “too meta for its HOROSCOPES own good” CANCER TAURUS GEMINI VIRGO ARIES LEO

This week you discover This week after Tom Wheeler This week you go to see This week you have an This week you decide to join in This week in an attempt to that Masters degree you gets Dib Dabs in the shop, you Imperial’s University anatomy lecture. However, you on the Milifandom on twitter cram as much as possible for received still isn’t worth a decide to get one. Flooded with Challenge team compete, forget to actually register what and get to making friends with your exam, you drink a litre lot so you have to find some nostalgia you buy 50 of them; hoping to meet sex symbol it’s specifically about, so on a politically conscious 17 year of Red Bull; however this has extra money. After much however after having two you Jeremy Paxman. At the after your second day after Easter old who subsequently invites serious psychoactive effects, desperation you find a grant realize sherbet isn’t that great party you get talking and one break you are subjected to a you on a date to their house. causing you to revise for 48 for married Greek women, and and you have wasted your thing leads to another and you tirade of images of dissected When you arrive you find out hours in a row. marry a waiter called Savas so money. find out you’re carrying his genitalia. it was actually a truck driver When you review your notes you can afford it- he does have This isn’t a joke, I just feel baby. You also realize this is the first from Leeds called Barry who the day after, you realize you a penchant for anal, but you I need to share my poor Perhaps this child can fill that time you’ve seen any genitals forces you to eat Doritos off had just written Chris Kaye’s can’t have everything. decisions with the readers. empty space in your life? since freshers week. his dog. name 10122 times. CAPRICORN SAGITTARIUS AQUARIUS SCORPIO PISCES LIBRA

This week you realize that you This week you realize that due This week you share an This week in the midst of a This week you decide to go to After spending 4/20 blazing have left your accommodation to the shorter final term, you article about politics from revision slump, you check your the protest against the beach it up in Hyde Park, you made for next year too late, and all have money left over in your the Guardian on Facebook, Facebook and realize that all body ready advert in Hyde friends with a friendly drug your friends have already student loan, which you decide instantly making you an your friends from home have Park, to show everyone that dealer who you, whilst quite found people to live with. to spend on a sex doll of Nigel expert on politics. Tom all finished university already, you should love your body high, gave your number. You then live in the library Farage. Wheeler hands over his while you still have several and not be concerned about Unfortunately they keep next term; however you Unfortunately your Erasmus presidency to you, you’re weeks until the end of exams. whether or not you fit in. sending you nudes and upon unfortunately realize that friend spots you in the act, offered a job at the Guardian, At least we’re getting fresh Unfortunately everyone is closer inspection, it was at night Alice Gast patrols and has subsequently fled the and you win a Pulitzer and a pizza bases next year. repulsed by you in beach wear actually just the Felix Editor. the library, consuming any country. Nobel peace prize. You then and you’re asked to leave. sleeping Chinese students. At least you have Nigel. wake up from your wet dream. 36 01.05.2015 THE STUDENT PAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FELIX

What is going on inside the Blue Cube this week

Hopefully everyone is feeling refreshed and raring to go after their complimentary Blue News holiday period over the Easter weekend! The weekly newsletter of the Faculty Building But with that disruption in our lives out of the way, we’re back to our normal exciting schedule with plenty of delightful events lined up for the coming week! Provost Post Hello all, Imperial Festival Briefing of the Week Bienvenue, wilkommen and welcome to the latest edition of Blue News, I’m sure you’re all aware of the upcoming which we’ve tinged with a slight international flavour this week to reflect Imperial Festival, a campus-wide Every week, a member of the global nature of our world-leading institution. celebration of all thing scientific, but the our esteemed Provost board Vice Provost (Brand Awareness) has asked shares their thoughts with This week, you may have noticed an increase in noise around the South me to let you all know about this week’s our collaborative, cohesive special briefing to let staff know just what’s community. This week, we Kensington campus. After being reliably informed by the Vice Provost welcome Al Pologies, Vice (Noise Complaints) that this wasn’t due to sudden rioting in the local going on with the Festival. Provost (Arbitrary Excuses)! Unfortunately, Al was unable area, it was actually the return of the undergraduate students to the Come along to the Briefing Room on the to write this week’s column, campus for their “term time”, I decided it was the perfect time to take a as he was called away to deal Fifth Floor at 1pm on Monday to get a with a sudden outbreak of brief trip out into the world to visit these delightful young people who so sneak peek at the Festival and find out how cancellations. generously contribute to the funding of our institution. to get involved! Al would like to apologise for his absence, and would like me to let you all know that it was With a small team of excited Vice Provosts accompanying me*, including Don’t forget to bring your yoga mat as entirely beyond his control. the Vice Provost (Brand Awareness), who kept stopping to put posters for usual, and green tea will (of course) be In place of the Provost Post, provided. we’re running a short advert Imperial Festival up on every wall, I ventured forth on Wednesday to the for a brand new product from Imperial College Union Building, located just on the other side of Prince a start-up led by a team of Advice on: Budgeting Imperial graduates! Consort Road, for a chat with some of the students and a quick tour of On Wednesday, we’ll be kicking off a new Hi everyone! the facilities. We’re UCK - the Useful weekly session open to all staff members, Company for Keyboards - and our “Advice On” series! we’re delighted to introduce I had an extremely productive meeting with the Office Trustees of the our very first keyboard, the The inaugural session will be on “Corporate Time Saver”! Union, where we discussed how we could greater improve collaboration We all know that it’s a tough between the good folks at the Union and the lovely team here in the “Budgeting”, and how best to juggle your life in the world of business, Faculty Building. A lot of good ideas were proposed (mostly by yours income with your expenditure. We all know where every second of every London can be expensive, and we want to minute of every hour counts truly, it must be said), including the possibility of appointing a new Vice make sure all of our staff are fully equipped in making sure you can be the Provost (Collaboration). most productive and efficient to survive life in the capital. worker possible. One of the biggest problems The position of Vice Provost (Collaboration) is now open to all that we identified with our All-Staff Briefing Cancelled focus groups was the very act applicants, with anyone wishing to be considered for the position Our weekly staff briefing has been of typing. needing to submit a resume (including evidence of past collaborative cancelled by the Vice Provost (Arbitrary Having to bash out each Excuses) due to a mix-up with what a Staff individual character was efforts) alongside a covering letter explaining how they feel they can help consuming precious seconds, improve cohesion and efficiency all across campus. Briefing actually entails. especially when having to produce reports that repeated Fear not, we have an intrepid team of commonly-used words several Have a productive, cohesive, collaborative and happy day! times. staff working at this very moment on It’s with that problem in mind defining what a Staff Briefing is. We look that we’ve created the CTS *Sadly, the Vice Provost (Student Voice) had to stay behind, as he forward to reading their report and passing keyboard, designed exclusively became a little too excited at the thought of actually speaking to the conclusions on to you when their for office workers who need to produce a lot of reports in the students. His position is now under informal review. investigations conclude next February. shortest time possible. Instead of individual letters, What is going on outside the each key is a commonly-used Alice Gast: Thought of the Week “business speak” word, such as Blue Cube this week “collaboration” or “meeting”. Within seconds, you can “Collaboration collaboration collaboration fire off an email requesting a world-leading collaboration innovation The annual tradition of supplanting meeting on productivity in the institution collaboration collaboration yoga Queen’s Lawn with a beautiful marquee board room, and sign it with mat world-leading Board Room collaboration continues this term, as we prepare for your own personal signature. multiple events that can only boost We’re really pleased with this efficiency productivity collaboration world- new product, and we hope leading yoga mat commisioning an independent Imperial’s brand awareness. you all like it too. If you have report collaboration.” any queries, drop us a line at (Editor’s note: Alice has been using her new CTS keyboard this week, and Also, don’t forget to keep an eye out for our [email protected] would like to express her thanks to UCK for their kind gift!) new adverts for Imperial Festival! FELIX THE STUDENT PAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON 01.05.2015 37 01.05.2015 Puzzles [email protected] Puzzles Editor Michael Faggetter

Weekly quiz ICU Quiz Soc Suck on this sudoku 1) World Geography an entrepreneur from which What is the capital of Pakistan? country?

2) In the News 7) TV and Movies Which country was mainly Which musical was adapted in struck by an earthquake last a 2014 film with Meryl Streep, 25th of April? Anna Kendrick, Emily Blunt and Johnny Depp? 3) Questions about good songs 8) Obscure Trivia In Bohemian Rhapsody, what In Majora’s Mask, what is has Beelzebub put aside for the name of the boss of the me? Woodfall Temple, identified as the Masked Jungle Warrior? 4) Popular Misconceptions In which country did fortune 9) This Day in History cookies originate? On the 1st of May 1978, Japanese Naomi Uemura, 5) Sex, Drugs and Rock and travelling by dog sled, is the Roll first to reach which location What is the more common alone? name for the drug benzoylmethylecgonine? 10) ...and if you got all the other right, their initials 6) Do the Sports, Win the spell out... Points! What type of logical reasoning Historic Italian football club obtains a general rule by using AC Milan is being bought a large number of particular by Bee Taechaubol, who is cases? Small Nonobellogram Slitherlink

There are two Nonograms for you to complete this week: one small and one large. The objective of this logic puzzle is to connect the dots with horizontal and vertical Shade in cells according to the numbers at the end of the rows and and columns. lines to form a single continuous line/loop. In addition, the numbers in the grid indicate the total number of adjacent segments within the loop. 38 01.05.2015 THE STUDENT PAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FELIX Puzzles [email protected] Puzzles Editor Michael Faggetter Dis big nonogram tho FUCWIT Last Week’s Don’t forget to send in your completed puzzles. Solutions Points are awarded for each correct solution, bonus points (in brackets) are awarded to the first correct answer!

We’re always looking for more puzzles, so if you ever fancy making your own crosswords, nonograms, slitherlinks or anything inbetween, let us know and we can include them in the issue!

Points avaliable this week:

Each Sudoku 3 points (+2) Quiz 3 points (+2) Slitherlink 3 points (+1) Small nonogram 2 points (+1) Large nonogram 3 points (+2) Leaderboard

Individuals: 1. Adam Stewart 106 2. Jem Ong 45 3. Catmelon 39 4. Kebab King 21 5. Sach Patel 11 6. Angus 8 7. Gene H. 7 8. Ayojedi 5 =9. Fengchu Zhangjj 3 =9. Li Wei Yap 3

Teams: 1. Fully Erect 163 2. L3Gendary 88 3. WG 69 4. pintosRules 51 5. Mindsuckers 48 Filbert 6. Dapper Giraffe 15 7. AnyonebutKofi 8 8. Ebolalala 7 9. Aerodoku 2 10. Guang <3 Le 1

We are looking for a puzzles editor for the last seven weeks of term, so if you fancy joining the team then it is not too late! Email [email protected] to find out more about the role if you are interested, no previous experience is required! FELIX THE STUDENT PAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON 01.05.2015 39

SPORT Sport Editor: Kunal Wagle Varsity recap: IC takes down the medics Bruno Villatte recaps the flair displayed by ICURFC’s 3rd XV...

he big day has arrived for Unfortunately he had the same Imperial College 3rd XV, varsity. success as Haimona for the kick and TDespite the defeat in the failed in the conversion. 12 - 0 friendly against Surrey the previous The last ten minutes of the first week, training had allowed the team half were one-sided in favour of the to gain confidence, and it was with Medics, who took advantage of hand high morale and motivation that the mistakes from IC’s players. After team entered the field. After a speech, 5min of intensive rush defence right made up of fine words with a rare in front of the goal line, Jono “Captain elegance, reminding us of the long Transport” Stancombe took one for history of love we have with Medics, the team, getting himself binned. Ten the team was ready for battle. scrums on the five meters line later, After a light observation round, IC the Medics finally scored. 12 - 5 started to gain possession, eventually leaving the referee with no choice Half-time: Imperial College but to blow his whistle for IC (yes, his 3rd XV 12 - 5 Imperial Medics whistle was still working at this time). 3rd XV After a first touch not found, the second penalty hit the mark. The second half began in a similar A good lineout maul advanced ten way to the first, IC still strong in meters with the ball coming into defence but now, with the wind in the hands of Bruno “Jules Plisson” our favour, the pressure was easy “flair god” “baguette man” Villatte. to put on the Medics. Outrageous Ruffman in play whilst a medic ballerina in a rugby kit looks on Photo: Ben Lester www.throughbenslens.co.uk A signature dummy back pass with scrum domination by IC, sadly Tom Murray bamboozled the low IQ didn’t materialised in penalties. Half-half-time: Imperial continue, resulting in the Medics unreal attempt of a “Sonny Bill”, off a medics, with only the fullback was Nevertheless, IC quickly returned College 3rd XV 17 - 5 Imperial recovering the ball in front of the great run from Tom “doesn’t have the still able to defend. Very good support into the opposites 22. After another Medics 3rd XV incredulous eyes of IC’s players. After English weakness” Murray, ended in by Syarif “3s convert” Hertog made good lineout maul, next year’s 3s 3 or 4 quick passes to the wing where a knock-on, 5 meters in front of the it a 2-on-1, and a try under the posts. Captain Matt “port connoisseur” After this unexpected break, IC IC’s players were not in a defensive goal line. 7 - 0 Kettle got the score. Another started to keep the ball and a penalty position, the Medics scored their A quite unbelievable turn of events Despite the wind, IC had the only conversion missed by Bruno; he gave the opportunity to approach second try of the game. 22 - 10. happened next, firstly out very own real attacking opportunities for the seemed more comfortable with his the line. A good lineout and a strong Frustrated by this try, IC really Jon Lineham made an incredible line first 30 minutes, this was helped hands than with his feet today. 17 - 5 maul after, Matt fell just over the goal wanted to finish this Varsity game on break, then he ran 50m to score a largely by the numerous knock- In spite of the desire to play a line for his second try! Thankfully no a high note. wonderful “Teddy Thomas style” try, ons from Medics’ backline. More beautiful rugby, the first part of the one notice the conversion was missed, The pressure was very intense only for the the referee to go back to awesome work from IC’s forwards second half was poor. not that it was needed. 22 - 5 inside the medics 22 and after a good a scrum, in FAVOUR of IC. No one is allowed the ball to be quickly ejected Too many hand mistakes on both The medics continued to try to change of direction in the game called quite sure what happened. by Luke “El Presidenté” Armitage sides meant neither side could gain break the defence but the pressure by Syarif, and great 2-on-1, Bruno A very strong defence, massive (surely helped by his new hair cut). any momentum. and some big tackles from IC players dived over for the second time. Bruno performance from the forwards and Bruno took full advantage and, Even the whistle of the referee forced them to make mistakes. finally decided to let Syarif take the some incredible French Flair, was just without his pair of centers, feinted decided to stop working. This gave the After knock-on from Medics, kicking responsibility who added the too much for the medics. the pass and broke the line on 30m opportunity of a mini break, whilst scrum down. The ball went straight extras. 29 - 10. Varsity 2015 was of to a great start! finally using some flair footwork the ref made the slow-but-steady jog through the channel, unusually the Not satisfied, IC continued to play, That is, if the 3s would remember the to score second try of the game. to get another whistle. referee decided that the game should this time with one goal, flair. An rest of the day… ...but 2nd XV medics took the lead Having watched the 3rd XV put in a magnificent and drawn gaps appeared. A simple shift out wide gave their flair dominated performance, the IC 2nd XV stepped out winger amply room to score. 3 - 12. into the sun looking to complete the holy grail of a 3W IC rallied forcing our way into their half and after a Varsity. Unfortunately it was not to be. good driving maul Jamie Curtis was able to break the The game set off with a few tense first collisions, the line and score. We therefore went in to half-time a mere Medics managed to secure possession early on. A simple 2 points down. set play from the Medic back line culminated in a rather The second half was a very ragged affair with IC silly looking Will “face-plant” Taylor and led to the first desperately trying to gain territory against the wind Medic try, despite excellent cover tackling from Gavin and hill. In going for territory, possession was sacrificed; Roberts. 0 - 7. meaning chances were few and far between. The Medics In what seemed slight role reversal from the 3s game, were able to get one over despite wonderful defensive unfortunate errors struck the IC line. Another moment work from Roo, among others. 10 - 19. from Taylor, after a brilliant Tom Mavin offload, left us Despite the result, a large squad of very promising unable to capitalise fully despite a good penalty from freshers and a broadly successful year, despite Charles “owns a safari park” Price-Smith. 3 - 7. circumstances, mean that the IC 2nd XV finished the A series of penalties and bad luck left the forwards season with their heads held high. Next year’s meeting 2nd team hundle, with one well dressed fan of the team in attendance putting in a huge shift on our line, finally after a scrum will be a chance to show the medics what we’re really too. Photo: Ben Lester www.throughbenslens.co.uk it had seemed we’d survived, but with extra players made of. Issue40 01.05.2015 1603 THE STUDENT PAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FELIX

[email protected] Sports Editor: Kunal Wagle Imperial’s Volleyball club is served sweet sucess this year ICVC sees their mens team becoming BUCS Trophy Champions

The Men’s team receiving the BUCS trophy Photo: ICVC

he start of the year already proud of the fight they put up in place in the league and a promotion Trophy knockout matches the men firsts this season expanding our hinted at a great volleyball this extremely close match. By the play-off match. Unfortunately, the remained undefeated, not even losing reach as a club beyond the volleyball Tseason to come; with over 120 end of the season, the IC women’s great success the men were achieving a single set. community at Imperial. ICVC people attending the taster session BUCS team took the third place in their Trophy competition, meant Overcoming many worries and introduced charity matches, raising and a record-high membership of 87. in the league, only below the well- clashes with league matches and uncertainties about the Final in money on two occasions for the After an absence of two years, the deserved first place for University much rescheduling, ultimately Loughborough (the match being on a charities Prostate Cancer and MAG women’s BUCS team returned to the of East London and second place for resulting in the men’s team having to Tuesday in the final week of term(!)), (Mines Advisory Group) respectively. first division for the 2014-15 season. University College London. The final play three crucial matches in the final the whole team eventually made it to The Club also had numerous mixed Throughout the season the women’s league standings only confirm that week of the BUCS season. the final match. training sessions including friendly team had a solid performance even the team deserved the promotion to The home match against Specially thanks to the support mixed tournaments, always with when it was at times a struggle. An first division. Portsmouth ended up having to be of Sport Imperial who were chocolate prizes! example being the away match vs The men’s BUCS team looked played in a training slot and with instrumental in ensuring player Food is also generally the focal Kent University, for which, due to promising with a number of some challenging circumstances availability and transport. The result point at our socials, having many illnesses and work deadlines, the returning players as well as new the men’s team were unfortunately speaks for itself, the BUCS men skilled cooks and bakers among team travelled with only the bare high-level recruits. The men were on unable to reach their full potential, became BUCS Trophy Champions our members, bringing dishes such minimum of six players (our libero course for a promotion to the Premier losing 3-1 to a strong Portsmouth. in an impressive performance in as tiramisu, spanakopita, lemon having to play opposite). League, having only lost their away Regardless of the disappointment a match of just under an hour, cheesecake, brownies and much more Not having the luxury of match to Portsmouth. of not getting first position in the defeating Northumbria 2nd 3-0 (25-16, home-made goodness. substitutes, the 5-set match left the All hopes were therefore placed league the men were determined to 25-8, 25-13). Following on from this year, we players exhausted. Even though it on the Portsmouth home match as come away with a win for the BUCS Besides the competitive success, cannot wait to see what next season was a 3-2 loss our players should be a win would have resulted in a first Trophy competition. Throughout the the Club had many other greats and brings!