Monday 17 September 2007 Published Just Outside The USSU Comms. Office. Issue Number 1112 FREE - Est. 1967 www.ussu.co.uk barefThe Universitya of Surrey Students’cts Newspaper In this 32 page edition CCTV Success in Onslow WHAT’S ON THIS FORTNIGHT? Four years since the beginning of the “Lights Cameras Action!” GRAPEVINE campaign Guildford Borough Council caves into pressure | PAGES 16 & 17 JOSH BATES is now in hand and fully funded.” EDITOR Cllr Ward, who first got involved campaigning for this as a student said, AFTER A SPATE of sexual attacks over “If the ruling group on the council the summer and a surge of support for a keep their word and install sufficient Facebook campaign to install CCTV in the CCTV in the underpass, then this Egerton Road A3 underpass the council is the end of a long saga for the has finally agreed to place cameras in the students of the University of Surrey. main attack hotspots outside campus. Far too many attacks have happened The underpass, which has a long history of over the years, and it is saddening KATHRYN MEDIEN safety problems, had been persistently denied to think that a very small fraction INTERVIEWS BOROUGH proper surveillance in spite of pressure and of the council’s expenditure could COUNCILLOR CHRIS WARD support from students, campaigners and key have provided a deterrent for those of the Southway underpass and paid £12,000 University figureheads. In 2002, the Students’ would-be attackers that choose to commit for its own CCTV camera on campus at the INTERVIEW | PAGE 12 Union and barefacts launched the award-winning such crimes in a concealed area. I am glad that other end of the underpass. Compared to the Lights Cameras Action! campaign, aimed at putting the council has finally listened to what I have same period last year, the university has seen a pressure on the council to act on student been saying on behalf of university students 38% decrease in crimes committed on campus. safety issues in the dark areas around campus. in my ward, but it really is five years too late.” In the past couple of months five women have Local Councillor Chris Ward, elected to the The plans to install CCTV will first go to been sexually attacked while passing through Borough council in May for the Onslow ward the Community & Health Scrutiny Committee the Tesco underpass on Egerton Road, and which covers the University and surrounding on the council, where Cllr Ward plans to one woman in the Southway underpass. The areas, insisted at a full council meeting that speak in favour of them being approved. latest victim, a woman in her late teens, was CCTV should be installed as a matter of urgency. They will then be referred to the council indecently assaulted as she walked through the FIVE PAGES OF Cllr Ward used the popular social networking executive who will approve or deny the Southway underpass at 5:10pm on Friday 31st SPORT | PAGE 27 site Facebook to launch the CCTV campaign decision made by the scrutiny committee. August. The series of assaults are believed to before he was elected with fellow Liberal Cllr Ward added, “The campaign would not have been carried out by the same man. Police EDITORIALS OF THE Democrat colleagues Cllr Steve Freeman and have been successful had it not been for the have released a description of the attacker. He Cllr Tony Philips in May. Since the latest attacks, many students backing it and helping myself and is described as white, in his early to mid 20s, UTGOING DITORS O E the online campaign has almost tripled in my ward colleagues put pressure on the ruling- about 6ft with a medium build and short blond JOSH BATES AND numbers, with over 1,300 students backing it. group of the council. Prior to being elected I hair. He has previously been described as having SOPHIA HAWKINS On Friday, Cllr David Wright, the lead member made a promise to students that they would no olive or tanned complexion and is usually clean for Community Safety on Guildford Borough longer be ignored in the council chamber if they shaven. Anyone who has information relating PAGE 2 Council responded to a letter by Cllr Ward in chose me to represent them. I hope this result to the attacks or the offender is urged to the Surrey Advertiser. Cllr Wright said, “GBC consolidates my commitment to them and contact Guildford CID on 0845 125 2222 or is as concerned as anyone about the recent their safety, and myself, Cllr Freeman and Cllr Crimestoppers, anonymously, on 0800 555111. spate of attacks in the university underpasses. Phillips will continue to fight for their interests Any students concerned about their safety It responded immediately to a request for as their councillors for the next four years.” whilst walking on the underpass, or anywhere additional coverage in the two underpasses Surrey County Council had previously received on campus or off, are more than welcome to and with police agreement moved this work a contribution of £20,000 from the University pop into the Students’ Union to discuss any up the installation priority list. That new work towards the cost of installing CCTV at one end issues that might be worrying them.

RETURNING FINAL YEAR? CAREERS ADVICE Royal Surrey saved from the axe DR RUSS | PAGE 9 SOPHIA HAWKINS the end of August that no downgrading Royal Surrey during the last year. It’s been a EDITOR or axing of any services at the Royal long fight, but finally it would appear the PCT Surrey County Hospital will take place. [Primary Care Trust] has recognised the Royal AFTER A YEAR long battle to save Professor Chris Marks, Chairman of the Surrey is an excellent hospital. I want to take Guildford’s hospital and its departments, Save the Royal Surrey Campaign, commented: this opportunity to thank everyone who has particularly its A&E, the NHS body “This is wonderful news for all those people been involved in the campaign, including all the carrying out the review announced at who have fought so hard for the future of the CONTINUED ON PAGE 3 Societies | Page 24 - Your Student Radio Station | Page 6 - Puzzles | Page 13 - How to avoid your Overdraft | Page 11 [email protected] barefacts 2 EDITORIALS 17 September 2007

the day-to-day running of the Union – took up office and completing the first fortnight of my placement is definitely began preparing for the year ahead that has just begun. an experience that was truly exhausting and one I think editorial>josh The first editorial of the new academic year would neither of us will be repeating anytime soon! Good luck not be complete without a little bit of self-promotion to next year’s editorial team… and this time I really mean PREVIOUSLY ON barefacts, and advertising. Last year Soph and I had a fantastic time it – this truly is mine and Soph’s final issue (yes, even after we left our heroes, the heading up barefacts and at the risk of quite possibly our “final” issue in May)! dynamic duo Ms Sophia ‘Soph’ repeating myself from many occasions before: you don’t Happy reading for Issue 1112! Hawkins and Mr Joshua ‘Oh need to be the world’s greatest writer to take an active My Josh’ Bates, struggling role in your students’ newspaper. If you’re enthusiastic and Josh Bates forward to their placement competent enough then it can definitely be a rewarding barefacts Editor years and beyond in their experience that will provide you with invaluable skills that University lives. will look great on your CV. barefacts is an independent Fast-forward four months, a third of the year later, and voice made by students for students so anybody can get it would appear following the summertime trials and involved! However, student journalism isn’t for everyone Dates for the Diary tribulations our heroes have faced has led them back to and whilst there are opportunities to get involved with barefacts AGM, an unexpected return and one-off special appearance in the more technical side of the paper, Surrey is fortunate Monday 24th September, 6pm, LTE the University of Surrey’s 40-year-old student newspaper. enough to have a multitude of societies and sports clubs Once again, September has come around: the beginning to cater to your needs. And of course, any of those Student Assembly To be confirmed of a new academic year for many here at Surrey, whether groups are perfectly welcome to write about themselves it the first, second, third, final or even a placement year in barefacts too... so with a little bit of luck, you won’t be Law Society AGM, for those on ‘sandwich’ courses. This issue of barefacts able to avoid us! Monday 17th September, 6.30pm, LTL follows its annual summer hiatus and comes with the For those Freshers who are reading their virgin issue, unexpected twist and fateful coincidence of both Editors we hope you enjoy what you read and encourage you to Game Society AGM now residing in Ware, Hertfordshire whilst attending to make the most of your first year because there is quite Wednesday 19th September, 7pm, LTE their placements. nothing like it ever again once you find yourself a year or Indian Society AGM Over the summer, the new Students’ Union sabbatical two into University life! Friday 5th October, 7pm, LTE team – the five full-time elected trustees who co-ordinate Editing barefacts over 60 miles from Guildford after editorial team 1112 editorial>soph EDITOR | JOSH BATES | [email protected] EDITOR | SOPHIA HAWKINS | [email protected] THEY SAY you have your epiphany sitting on a toilet. Mine? Well, mine came whilst crying All of the positions listed, except for the final two, will be up for election at our my eyes out sitting next to a bin at a Brussels Annual General Meeting on 24/09/2007 in Lecture Theatre E at 6pm. Metro Station. Suddenly my glittering political career dream became just that: a dream! Politics, EDITOR 2007-08 | POSITION VACANT | [email protected] I realised, was just an interest and suddenly the DEPUTY EDITOR (DESING) | POSITION VACANT other part of my life – caring – became much DEPUTY EDITOR (MARKETING) | POSITION VACANT more important to me. It’s a job I love, a job I NEWS EDITOR | POSITION VACANT have a lot of time for and a job I know I will DEPUTY NEWS EDITOR | POSITION VACANT probably be doing, in some way or other, for the COPY EDITOR | POSITION VACANT rest of my life. FEATURES EDITOR | POSITION VACANT Going to Brussels and leaving my friends and indeed mean the bare essential read: barefacts. PG TIPS EDITOR | POSITION VACANT family, and of course quitting VP Welfare before I I’ve had the time of my life…. No, Really! The best ARTS EDITOR | PATRICK HUNTER | [email protected] had even started, was quite possibly the hardest friendships have been formed over these pages, if ARTS EDITOR | JAKE SOUTH | [email protected] decision of my life. Leaving after just two weeks its true what they say about laughter (the more SOCIETIES EDITOR | POSITION VACANT was possibly the easiest. But, even now, two months you have the older you die) then I’m sure I’ll live SPORTS EDITOR | MATT CHEETHAM | [email protected] on people ask me whether I regret going and the till I’m at least 210… and Josh, I owe it all to you! SPORTS EDITOR | ANTHONY HANSON | [email protected] answer to that is simple… No. If I didn’t I never Oh, and I suppose our resident Geezer deserves PUZZLELORD | COLIN EVERETT | [email protected] would have had my epiphany next to that bin. So a mention to.... Thanks Aaron again, for being WEBMASTER | POSITION VACANT here I am back in England, back doing barefacts brilliant. Good luck training the new team, and by and boy, does that make me smile. the way, yoiu still owe me that drink you promised MARKETING CO-ORIDNATOR | AARON SALINS | [email protected] I am so happy to be back for the Freshers me about 5 years ago... hehe! EDITOR-IN-CHIEF | ALEX COLLINS | [email protected] Edition and so happy to have Josh by my side. Freshers, enjoy first year, Surrey is THE place to Reading his editorial you will probably know that be. As much as I love my job as a care supervisor I barefacts is an editorially independent newspaper and is published by the University of Surrey am immensely jealous you are all here. Go to the Students’ Union Communications Office. we are working near each other in Ware; it seems we can’t get rid of each other. But, actually, I’m Union as many times as possible, trust me, it won’t The views expressed within the paper are those of individual authors and do not necessarily really grateful to Josh. Doing this issue was my be long till the hard work starts and takes over represent the views of the Editor, the University of Surrey Students’ Union or the University of Surrey. This publication may not be reproduced in whole or in part, stored in any form, copied idea, and so far, a few days before deadline I have your Wednesday and Friday nights. or distributed, without the express permission of the publisher beforehand. done diddly squat, so Josh, looks like you got your Have a wicked year everyone, see you next September…! Printed by Surrey and Berkshire Media Limited chance to edit a copy on your own! I am really Stoke Mill House, Woking Road, Guildford, Surrey, GU1 1QA looking forward to the next year with you Josh! To all the Freshers – and the old timers – if Submission is no guarantee of publication. barefacts reserves the right to edit submissions. Please direct all equiries to the relevant section Editor. you are considering making history and taking Sophia Hawkins part in the best student newspaper EVER (as barefacts Editor WWW.USSU.CO.UK/BAREFACTS voted for by me) then please do! And by that I do © USSU COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE 2007 barefacts www.ussu.co.uk/barefacts 17 September 2007 NEWS 3 Royal Surrey saved from the axe

Pictured: Save The Royal Surrey Rally in Guildford, October 2006. The rally was attended by over 6,000 baref cts gm in Lecture Theatre E on people made up of both locals and students alike. a a CONTINUED FROM FRONT PAGE Monday 24th September at 6pm local political parties who have come together to fight for such an important cause. “There is no doubt that without the unwavering support of the residents of Surrey we could never have achieved Starbucks signs first UK such a fantastic result.” The annoucement was described as “a huge leap forward by Conservative MPs Anne Milton and Jeremy Hunt, who university franchise with Surrey made up part of the cross-political party Save The Royal JOSH BATES members the Facebook group is not without is rivals, Surrey Campaign team. EDITOR with a whopping 16 members [correct at time of writing] Mrs Milton, MP for Guildford, said: “This is a victory for making up “Screw Roots - Starbucks is WAAAAY better!” local people and a victory for common sense. There is no AFTER YEARS OF declining sales, many returning The coffee chain’s venture on to the Stag Hill campus doubt that health bosses have been forced to rethink their students might be disappointed to hear that due is the first in a series of university campus deals that plans and listen to the views of local people. to “significant and unsustainable annual losses,” Starbucks is targeting in the UK in order to boosts its “I think everyone across Guildford and Waverley can be Roots Café Bar will undergo a big change in the presence outside of its traditional high-street market. very proud of what we have achieved so far.” weeks ahead. After careful consideration, the Director of business alliances at Starbucks UK, Rupert South West Surrey MP, Mr Hunt, added: “Public pressure University will team up with Starbucks to open Lawrie, said: “This is a great commercial investment for made a huge difference. ” a new coffee store in the Oak House Building. the University, combining a fantastic offer for students Sue Doughty, former Liberal Democrat MP for Guildford The controversial move amongst students will see part of by providing them with somewhere recognisable applauded the tireless leadership of Prof Marks. Roots replaced with the current bar area of Roots receiving from home with an investment that will provide the “We could not have achieved this without close working a revamp and refurbishment to form a “standalone and University with significant returns over the years. as a team, alongside the board of the Royal Surrey County distinct continental-style bar serving a wide variety of “Our licensed store model has proved very popular Hospital and the community,” she explained. unusual European beers as well as a range of cocktails.” with universities in the USA. We are confident that this “At last, others have recognised what we have always Under the new partnership the store will be managed partnership will be a great success and are actively looking known – the Royal Surrey is a fine hospital, deserving of and staffed by the University, who will retain full for new partners in the college and university sector.” support and not closure. ownership and operation control of the business, with 2005 saw the introduction of licensing as a way to “It has been a long struggle, but the whole community a pricing structure below that of a typical high street increase Starbuck stores numbers in the UK but it has has really come together. ” operation. Unlike Roots, Starbucks also proposes to open run the model in the USA since 1996 where there are Martin Phillips, a member of Guildford Labour Party, was at the weekend between the hours of 1200 and 1600. now 2,000 licensed stores out of 4,400 Starbucks. another key figure in the campaign committee. The alcohol free environment will provide a number Rival chain Costa Coffee already has deals Mr Phillips commented: “We have always said we don’t of products, including a range of Fairtrade coffees and with universities for outlets including sites at want just the same as now – we want better and that’s other hot drinks and food as well as looking to recruit Swansea, Sheffield and De Montfort in Leicester. what is coming out.” additional workforce from the student community. Unsurprisingly these changes have been met with hostility Do you have a complaint against this newspaper? from some students, with many choosing to air their views on the ever popular networking website Facebook. Posts If you have a complaint about any item in this newspaper which contains on the “wall” of the resistance group, “Save Roots (No inaccuracy, harassment, intrusion or discrimination write to our editor about it. If you remain dissatisfied please contact the Press Complaints Commission to Starbucks)”, have varied - an independant organisation established to uphold an editorial Code of widely with some students Practice for the Press. This newspaper will abide by their decision. feeling angry at being cut Press Complaints Commission out of the loop whilst others 1 Salisbury Square, London, EC4Y 8JB are simply disappointed Telephone: 020 7353 1248 Facsimile: 020 7353 8351 they may never feast upon a Roots Ferno Burger Printed by Surrey and Berkshire Media Limited Stoke Mill House, Woking Road, Guildford, Surrey, GU1 1QA ever again. With over 600 Roots Café Bar as it was pre-Summer 2007 [email protected] barefacts 4 COMMERCIAL BREAK 17 September 2007 barefacts www.ussu.co.uk/barefacts 17 September 2007 LETTERS & NEWS 5 Letters to barefacts University of Surrey Letters must be received by Friday 5th October to guarantee their presence in the next newspaper - [email protected] fills vacancies Letters may be edited for length or clarity.

If you want to submit an article, whether it is News, in record time Healthy vending about your Society or Sports Club etc. (basically anything) JOSH BATES then you just need to put it in an e-mail and send it to the EDITOR machines, please? relevant Sub-Editor before the deadline (or just use ussu. UNIVERSITIES ADMISSIONS service UCAS have [email protected] if you’re not sure). Dear barefacts, If you want a more long-term commitment then joining the reported that a record number of applicants are due Editorial Team may be for you. This involves being elected to start full-time undergraduate courses this autumn. Vending machines selling junk have been banned in some at the Annual General Meeting (AGM) which, coincidentally, Compared to last year’s 325,107, approximately schools so why not universities? Shouldn’t we at least be this year is taking place on Monday 24th September at 6pm 345,900 students are due to enter courses this year given a choice of what we snack on? I find it frustrating that in Lecutre Theatre E. For a list of Editorial positions and so far. between lectures the only foods available are laden with More than 40,000 applicants are expected to have found descriptions, please see the web site: www.ussu.co.uk/ fat and sugar. These foods do not help fill me up or aid my a place by the time Clearing has closed on September 20th. barefacts concentration. Chief Executive of UCAS, Anthony McClaran, commented: Finally, if you don’t want to write for us then you can still Can the university please invest in some chilled vending “We had a peak of 70 logins per second [on the UCAS be part of the madness that is the making of barefacts. We’re machines that could house fresh fruit salad and pasta tubs as website] this year, compared with 47 last year.” always on the lookout for designers to help lay-up and sculpt I feel these foods would be far more satisfying. New touches added to the UCAS website were proving the layout of the paper - without it, it simply wouldn’t come useful, he added. out! You don’t need to have any previous experience, just a Yours sincerely, “Our social networking site has been willingness to learn new skills that can be both rewarding or yougofurther.co.uk VERITY KIRKPATRICK busy with students getting to know each other before they and look great on your CV. set off for HE, swapping advice and experiences. A steady Getting involved... stream of applicants has visited our fledgling island in Second Your letter here? Life to talk to advisers there too.” Dear barefacts, Universities say the first days of Clearing were the busiest, Dear barefacts readers, but the hunt is far from over with most institutions still How do I get involved in joining barefacts? offering places. It’s the beginning of the new year and we’re a little low on The Higher Education minister, Bill Rammell, said: “I am A. N. OTHER letters this edition! Please feel free to write in on about extremely pleased to see that these record acceptance anything no matter how big, small or pointless, we’d love to figures are in line with the significant increase in applications barefacts Editor, Sophia Hawkins, responds: hear from you! E-mail: [email protected] seen earlier in the year. Particularly encouraging is the substantial rise in acceptances to maths, chemistry, physics This is a question we are frequently asked and yet there is a JOSH BATES & SOPHIA HAWKINS and languages.” very simple answer. EDITOR (JOBSHARE) In February barefacts reported that the University of Surrey had seen an increase of 39.2% for 2007-08 up on the previous academic year. By the evening of Monday 20th Facebook versus August, three days after A-Level results were made public, it was announced that all undergraduate places at Surrey had been filled and that there were no further places available through Clearing. Students Loan Company Applications for postgraduate study are still being accepted JOSH BATES Company (SLC) effectively hold a captive market. in most subject areas. EDITOR Ian McLaren Thompson, a spokesperson for SLC, University staff worked through the weekends to ensure explained that its interest rates were calculated annually that applicants were given decisions in record time. The FOLLOWING NEWS THAT the interest rates on in September on the basis of the March Retail Price Index Sunday Times names Surrey as ‘The University for Jobs’ UK student loans will double to 4.8%, students have (RPI). “Using this figure allows us to get a true reading of which underlines the university’s growing reputation for once again turned to social networking web site the value of what has been lent as the value of the pound providing high quality, relevant degrees. Facebook to vent their anger. fluctuates. It does not, and is not intended to, produce any After the successful NUS backed lobbying group “Stop surplus for us,” he said. the Great HSBC Graduate Rip-off!” forced HSBC to rethink Repayments are calculated on the basis of what a its decision to axe interest-free graduate overdrafts after borrower earns, not on what they owe. It could take longer more than 5,000 angry to pay back the loan as the total amount owed will increase graduates joined, it is faster with the new rates, although actual payments will be hoped that “Interest unafected. Many graduates, who will be in their 50s when Rates on Student Loans they complete their repayments, have viewed this as an to Double” will cause a “education tax” in disguise. similar reaction. University of East Anglia graduate Paul Graves, who set up However, unlike the the group, accused the SLC of not doing enough to notify HSBC campaign, where graduates of the changes. students and graduates Mr Graves commented that: “A bank could never double The University of Surrey’s Stag Hill Campus threatened to close its interest rates without informing its customers well in their bank accounts, advance, but currently very few of the people this will affect baref cts. be he rd. the Students Loan are aware of the rise.” a a [email protected] barefacts 6 GU2 17 September 2007 1350AM GU2: Your Student Radio Station Hopefully you’re aware the University of Surrey has a student newspaper, if you’re not you might want to check what you think you’re reading! Hopefully by the end of this you’ll also be aware that Surrey has a student radio station: called GU2 that can be heard all over campus and on the internet. This is just a quick guide to who we are, what we’re about and how you can get involved.

sessions, campus news, a FirstlyWho GU2 We is notAre just a cookery programme and building, a studio, an antenna; comedy sketch shows. At it’s students. It’s made by GU2 we really do cater students for you the students for all. of the Uni. This means that we are the most relevant How To radio station to your life and Listen experiences here at Surrey. So where can you find When you think about it, who us? We’re located on knows what students like to 1350 AM. (It’s the same listen to, and who is most in as MW on some radios. touch with the issues effecting They’re the same thing just students? Other students! named differently.) We’re We’re always in touch with also online at www.gu2. what’s going on, on and around co.uk where you’ll find a comprehensive website the campus, because we’re in again! Want to promote the station and even write this that provides the ability the middle of it ourselves. article? Go ahead! Whatever it is you’d like to get involved to listen live, webcams (watch if you There’s been a student radio in, we almost certainly have the opportunity within GU2 dare) along with online content such station here at the University for you to explore your potential and have an awesome as Podcasts, Listen Again and video. of Surrey since the 1970s, and time doing it! You may never speak into a microphone We usually also spend a month on FM later in the year, so it has been called GU2 from 2000 – so called because during your time at GU2, but your contribution will be watch this space for further details. the post code for the University is GU2. In November just as valuable. Physically we’re below Battersea Court Reception, 2002 the Station was crowned UK Student Radio Station But if you want to be the next Christian O’Connell, opposite Rushes Restaurant, by the HUGE black, white of the Year at the Student Radio Awards and one of our Chris Evans, Chris Moyles (there must be some famous and orange banner. So pop down and catch us making radio presenters picked up a Bronze Award in 2005 for Best radio presenters out there without Chris in their name) (ok, we’ll probably be watching Neighbours), and we’re UK male presenter. This year GU2 has three entries in we have everything you need to get on air with full training always happy to play requests. Alternatively you can catch the Best Entertainment Category alone so we’re also an in the technical, music and content aspects of being a radio us at an outside broadcast, we could turn up anywhere; award winning station! presenter. Just email [email protected], pop along and see the Freshers’ Fayre, Chancellors, Rubix, the Friary, the lake On-air, whether its music, news, chat or comedy, we’ll us at the Freshers’ Fayre or alternatively you could come (actually next to the lake, we haven’t mastered walking on keep you entertained 24 hours a day, seven days a week, along to Lecture Theatre E on Thursdays at 6.15 where water... yet). every semester. ‘Your Music, Your Station’ really does we have our general meetings. reflect reality at GU2. We broadcast a wide variety of music both during the day, and in the evening when How To Get Involved we let a complete range of specialist DJs loose on the GU2 is a society like any other at Surrey and so we need GU2 Events As always GU2 will be at the Freshers’ Fayre on the airwaves. Think of a genre of music and we’ve got a show new members all the time to keep the station running. main stage hosting the whole event! In October we have that reflects it. We have previously broadcast live band When most people think of radio they arranged a Master Class think of presenters featuring top names from on air, but at GU2 the world of radio especially we offer much more for you. In November we’ll than that. also be off to the Student Have you ever Radio Awards in London. wanted to control Keep reading barefacts for the music on the more information on these, station? Here is the station as a whole as your opportunity. well as show and presenter Want to keep your profiles. fellow students in the know by writing and ARTICLE BY: presenting the news? THE GU2 COMMITTEE Well you can. Want to www.gu2.co.uk take things apart? Well you can, as long as they [email protected] work once you’ve put them back together barefacts www.ussu.co.uk/barefacts 17 September 2007 COMMERCIAL BREAK 7

sessions, campus news, a FirstlyWho GU2 We is notAre just a cookery programme and building, a studio, an antenna; comedy sketch shows. At it’s students. It’s made by GU2 we really do cater students for you the students for all. of the Uni. This means that we are the most relevant How To radio station to your life and Listen experiences here at Surrey. So where can you find When you think about it, who us? We’re located on knows what students like to 1350 AM. (It’s the same listen to, and who is most in as MW on some radios. touch with the issues effecting They’re the same thing just students? Other students! named differently.) We’re We’re always in touch with also online at www.gu2. what’s going on, on and around co.uk where you’ll find a comprehensive website the campus, because we’re in again! Want to promote the station and even write this that provides the ability the middle of it ourselves. article? Go ahead! Whatever it is you’d like to get involved to listen live, webcams (watch if you There’s been a student radio in, we almost certainly have the opportunity within GU2 dare) along with online content such station here at the University for you to explore your potential and have an awesome as Podcasts, Listen Again and video. of Surrey since the 1970s, and time doing it! You may never speak into a microphone We usually also spend a month on FM later in the year, so it has been called GU2 from 2000 – so called because during your time at GU2, but your contribution will be watch this space for further details. the post code for the University is GU2. In November just as valuable. Physically we’re below Battersea Court Reception, 2002 the Station was crowned UK Student Radio Station But if you want to be the next Christian O’Connell, opposite Rushes Restaurant, by the HUGE black, white of the Year at the Student Radio Awards and one of our Chris Evans, Chris Moyles (there must be some famous and orange banner. So pop down and catch us making radio presenters picked up a Bronze Award in 2005 for Best radio presenters out there without Chris in their name) (ok, we’ll probably be watching Neighbours), and we’re UK male presenter. This year GU2 has three entries in we have everything you need to get on air with full training always happy to play requests. Alternatively you can catch the Best Entertainment Category alone so we’re also an in the technical, music and content aspects of being a radio us at an outside broadcast, we could turn up anywhere; award winning station! presenter. Just email [email protected], pop along and see the Freshers’ Fayre, Chancellors, Rubix, the Friary, the lake On-air, whether its music, news, chat or comedy, we’ll us at the Freshers’ Fayre or alternatively you could come (actually next to the lake, we haven’t mastered walking on keep you entertained 24 hours a day, seven days a week, along to Lecture Theatre E on Thursdays at 6.15 where water... yet). every semester. ‘Your Music, Your Station’ really does we have our general meetings. reflect reality at GU2. We broadcast a wide variety of music both during the day, and in the evening when How To Get Involved we let a complete range of specialist DJs loose on the GU2 is a society like any other at Surrey and so we need GU2 Events As always GU2 will be at the Freshers’ Fayre on the airwaves. Think of a genre of music and we’ve got a show new members all the time to keep the station running. main stage hosting the whole event! In October we have that reflects it. We have previously broadcast live band When most people think of radio they arranged a Master Class think of presenters featuring top names from on air, but at GU2 the world of radio especially we offer much more for you. In November we’ll than that. also be off to the Student Have you ever Radio Awards in London. wanted to control Keep reading barefacts for the music on the more information on these, station? Here is the station as a whole as your opportunity. well as show and presenter Want to keep your profiles. fellow students in the know by writing and ARTICLE BY: presenting the news? THE GU2 COMMITTEE Well you can. Want to www.gu2.co.uk take things apart? Well you can, as long as they [email protected] work once you’ve put them back together [email protected] 8 NOT NEWS Inmates running asylum raise productivity by 55%

PETE NATTRESS who disagreed with him, Charles ‘Fingernuts’ NOT NEWS EDITOR Mongmy was unanimously elected as their leader shortly afterwards. ‘Fingernuts’ has attracted INMATES AT A high security Surrey asylum were today praise from several top NHS directors for his praised by local health officials for raising the institution’s decisive managerial style, yet was also criticised productivity levels to the highest they have been in years. by some for the casualties inflicted during the The motley crew of mental patients, which includes a serial uprising, which left several personnel without killer and compulsive arsonist, attributed their achievement heads -- an accusation he denies. “The only to keeping overheads low whilst cutting costs and investing things in this asylum which have been slashed shrewdly, along with a complete and utter disregard are the running costs,” he protested from atop for human life. Surrey County NHS spokesperson Clive a smouldering pyre of corpse-like objects. Hisspot described the Fellow mentals have also expressed their asylum’s improvement appreciation for Fingernuts’ new directorship, as “a shining example including ‘Demented’ Dan, a man who spent for us all to follow.” most of his life collecting autographed pictures The inmates took over of former Tory leader John Major. “I love John!” the asylum, located near he declared to himself, adding, “Fingernuts is performance that they are considering offering him a Woking, after a shocking nice too. He reminds me of John”. Others were less permanent job once the police standoff ends. “They say and violent coup last appreciative, with one patient known only as ‘Chief’ you have to be mental to work in the NHS,” commented month. After promising refusing to pass comment at all, instead staring passively Clive Hisspot, “and that’s especially true in management.” to cut both red tape into the middle-distance with a longing glow in his eyes. and the throats of those NHS bosses are so impressed with Fingernuts’ [email protected] Guildford councillors: “we care about your safety”

PETE NATTRESS Cllr Jenkins. “I think it’s great. The monkeys have NOT NEWS EDITOR these little hats with mini sirens on, they look so adorable.” An earlier monkey pilot scheme was SEVERAL GUILDFORD COUNCILLORS have hit back cancelled after the monkeys experienced problems at accusations that they are not concerned about the crossing the A3 dual carriageway, with messy results. safety of students studying at the University of Surrey. The councillors also admitted to toying with the The group issued a vehement denial in an exclusive idea of installing stashes of automatic weapons in interview with Not News’s resident owl trainer, Tom key locations for students to use in self-defence, Stevens. “We would like to assure students that there but abandoned the plans due to “logistical issues”. is nothing we value more than their safety -- apart When asked why no money is being spent on a from their votes, of course!” said Dorothy Jenkins, much-needed CCTV camera in the Tesco underpass, councillor for Preblow. “Which is why we’ve devised the councillors were less forthcoming. Councillor several measures to ensure students returning to Jenkins claimed that the council’s limited budget Guildford this year remain safe from the threat of harm.” means that a camera is simply not affordable. One of the more controversial schemes outlined She added, “some interfering busybodies would by the councillors is a £15m plan to pave most of have students believe that they need a camera in Guildford’s pavements with cotton wool, in a bid to that underpass. That’s simply not the case. What cut injuries caused by drunken stumbling after late students need is cotton wool and monkey squads, nights out in town. Also unveiled were designs for an and I have nothing more to say on the matter.” elite squad of trained monkeys to roam the streets and screech mad monkey noises at students who may Got an idea for Not News? be in danger. “The monkey squad idea was mine,” said [email protected]

ANSWERS - DANGER - ANSWERS - DANGER - ANSWERS - DANGER - ANSWERS DANGER - ANSWERS - DANGER - ANSWERS ANSWERS - DANGER - ANSWERS - DANGER

ANSWERS - DANGER - ANSWERS - DANGER

Halberd. 17) Eleanor. 18) Orpheus. 22) Combo. 22) Orpheus. 18) Eleanor. 17) Halberd.

5) Fledge. 6) Esperanto. 7) Tigress. 13) Aqua Vitae. 15) 15) Vitae. Aqua 13) Tigress. 7) Esperanto. 6) Fledge. 5)

1) Dry Wall. 2) Piers. 3) Luggage. 4) Reinvestigation. Reinvestigation. 4) Luggage. 3) Piers. 2) Wall. Dry 1)

Clues Down: Down: Clues

23) Septillion. 24) Meek. 25) Dressing Rooms. Dressing 25) Meek. 24) Septillion. 23)

19 down) Fine Motor Skills. 20) Slovakia. 21) Escape. Escape. 21) Slovakia. 20) Skills. Motor Fine down) 19

11) Vagaries. 12) Ill At Ease. 14) Onus. 15) Haul. 16 and and 16 Haul. 15) Onus. 14) Ease. At Ill 12) Vagaries. 11)

BONUS SUDOKU Nausea. 10) Pigs. Guinea 9) Hyde. 8) Effect. Doppler 1) Clues Across: Across: Clues PUZZLES ANSWERS AND barefacts www.ussu.co.uk/barefacts 17 September 2007 FEATURES 9 Advice for RETURNING final years I’ve justDr got back and RussI am in a panic about fitting replies portal.surrey.ac.uk/careers ... will keep you Where is the Careers Service? in job-hunting with my final year studies. Got any up to date with the latest employer requirements. The annual In case you haven’t visited us before, you can find us in the good advice? Careers Fair on Thursday 4 October is a good opportunity same building as the Accommodation Office. We are open Some students like to concentrate entirely on their studies in for you to talk informally to employers from about 70 between 9 am and 12.30 pm and between 1.30 pm and 5.30 their final year so they can get the best possible degree. Your organisations. We also have a series of talks by careers staff pm, though we close at 5 pm on Fridays and during vacations. first option is therefore to delay the whole career thing until and invited speakers taking place throughout the semester. after you graduate. There are good reasons, though, for doing You could come along to a seminar to sharpen up your Is it OK to just to drop in? some of your thinking and preparation while you’re still here. interview technique or you could try a practice aptitude test. Absolutely no problem. You don’t even have to talk For a start, most of the things we are organising will be easier to anyone but we are there to help if you need us. One to attend now than after you’ve graduated. What’s more, How can I find out more? thing you will see when you walk in is a series of files if you would like a job next year with a popular graduate Every year we produce a Careers Service Guide offering marked “Your degree….. What next? A browse through recruiter, you simply have to meet their deadlines, often before help and advice for your future career. It will tell you what’s the one for your degree will give you ideas about what Christmas, to stand any chance. Early applications for other going on throughout the year. Every second year, final to do when you leave. If you’d like to speak to a careers options such as primary teacher training are also advisable. year and postgraduate student will have their own copy adviser there is often someone available to deal with a delivered to their department. If it’s not there, try your short query right away. If you think you’d like a longer chat What can the Careers Service do to help? departmental office first and then the Careers Service. The then we can easily arrange a time which is suitable for you. Just to give you a few examples, our Vacancy Bulletin, which information in the Guide is also available on our website. you can view on the Careers Service website at http:// [email protected] Almost Accurate Astrology “The foretelling of Fresher’s Week and the Week after” by “Crystal Ball’s identical twin sister, Ophelia.” Aries to look on the bright side at all times. Sagittarius (March 21 - April 20) (November 21 - December 20) Mars will move out of your space Leo There will be a cosmic alignment at around 23:48 on one of (July 21 - August 20) this week, you may feel bereft of the following days. After it, buy one lottery ticket. No more, Potentially a tricky week for you Leos. However, if you stay direction. If so, take this opportunity to memorise the route no fewer. If you win, please send me the money. I urgently true to your convictions, you will blaze through the week back from Rubix now, else you may get lost. Number 9 is need it. Your lucky restaurant is Chancellors, wherein your and be set up comfortably for the remainder of the semester. lucky for you this week. lucky dish is curly fries with cheese. Don’t hesitate to make friends, especially with those who Taurus wear pink. Fortune will reveal herself to you in an e-mail. Capricorn (April 21 - May 20) (December 21 - January 20) Your sense of loyalty will put you under pressure this week. Virgo Ah, Capricorn. Confidence abounds within you this week, you (August 21 - September 20) Remember that you are in control of your own destiny, no are eager to tackle the obstacles before you. You will receive You feel on top of the world with high positive emotion and matter what choices befall you. It is necessary to be cruel a helping hand. Do not fear that you are opening Pandora’s buzzing vibes. You may be tempted to roll onward with no to be kind. Numbers 10 and 35 are significant in your week Box. The colour White will bring some fortune. It will bring change, but be prepared to tone down. Save the excitement ahead. Be wary of men in lab coats, for they may appear to be more if it has yellowish details. for the weekend and all the joys the days of rest bring. If stalking you this week if you aren’t careful! a black dog crosses your path it will presage good fortune. Aquarius Unless it defecates on your shoe. Gemini (January 21 - February 20) (May 21 - June 20) Libra Trouble ahead! Mars moves in and displaces Saturn. Tough If you feel you are being given the cold shoulder, seize the times call for tough measures: limit your alcohol intake, pay (September 21 - October 20) initiative to confront the Piscean who is holding back. Go attention to detail and smile at everyone. This difficulty will Anticipation is a terrible thing at times. Most Librans will have swimming, it will refresh and rejuvenate you after the events be short-lived and soon pass, trust me. Drinking some apple a big event coming up in their lives either this week or next, that have taken place. Always look straight ahead. The letter juice will help. and the worry is that this event will fall flat. Stay calm, you U is important. have good people around you who will ensure this is not Pisces the case. The colour red is paradoxical in the coming days: (February 21 - March 20) Cancer sometimes good, sometimes bad. Watch out. You may be confronted by a hot-headed Gemini in the weeks (June 21 - July 20) ahead. Stand your ground. Also, if anyone asks you to trust Terrible week for you, bucko. Pluto has not only moved into Scorpio them, recall that respect and trust must be earned, not your quadrangle, but has applied for planning permission to (October 21 - November 20) demanded or bought. Thursday will see you spring out of bed concrete it over. Nothing will go right for you, it’s all your The word “Passion” is usually tossed aroud when discussing bursting with energy like a nuclear explosion; clear the floor fault and you can’t do anything about it. You’re a prisoner of Scorpions, today is no exception. Go after anyone who of sharp objects the night before. Or get a tetanus jab. fate, who is a terrible mistress. Your lucky food is pizza, which both walks and talks. The Peterborough United supporting is full of fat and will make you die of heart disease. Remember Saggitarian is harmless, despite your instinct. [email protected] [email protected] barefacts 10 COMMERCIAL BREAK 17 September 2007 barefacts www.ussu.co.uk/barefacts 17 September 2007 COMMENT & FEATURES 11 A complete(ish) guide on how to avoid your overdraft!

LEA CARROTT matter whether they are student or savings, just get two! money at the end of the semester, because you know REPORTER Now I expect you’re just reading this and thinking, “Well exactly how much you are spending. It also comes in that’s stupid, there’s two overdrafts that I can max out handy if you lose your wallet/purse or the Barclays LAST YEAR IT seemed like nearly everyone I knew now…” but there is a method to my madness! I set up a machine outside Rubix swallows it, (that machine eats was hundreds of pounds into their overdraft, well standing order each month (yes they are free and yes you about 5 cards a day!) that you have another account when I say everyone… nearly. Neither me, or any of can do it online so you wont have to speak to any “real” with the bulk of your money in that you can use. my flat mates who were first time “freshers” touched people) and every month money gets transferred from Some people can manage with just the one account, but their overdrafts, I didn’t even get one authorised! the student loan account to the account which I can spend most students just don’t have the will power! I know some Getting by on only a student loan is possible, even from. You people who have to move their loan money to their mum’s if you don’t receive any help from your parents for can do it account and get it back in a weekly allowance, which lets face accommodation or living. Money management might weekly if it is really lame! Uni is all about independence and doing it seem like a nightmare, and believe me I’m terrible you find for your self, but you can do it all without your overdraft!! with my money, but if I can do it anyone can! that easier, I realise this is not a very complete guide at all. The first step for me was to work out exactly how but that way Also carry a separate budget for Freshers week; much I could afford to spend each month. Most people you just use otherwise find a reason to go on antibiotics so you seem to need about £50 a week to eat and socialise the card for can’t spend your entire loan on drink in the first week! in healthy amounts! So if you work out you don’t the account have that, it might be worth picking up a few hours in which you Fancy writing a comment article? Are you capable of writing Rubix or Chancellors etc. However saying you have x can spend a good, well structured argumentative point on a controversial much a week is one thing, but actually sticking to it is a from and subject? Or just something random you want to tell the world?! completely different kettle of fish, and this is where the you won’t Comment articles can be about anything, serious or fun! clever part comes in…get two bank accounts, doesn’t run out of [email protected] Foods to help beat the Freshers’ Flu

VERITY KIRKPATRICK The foods that contain vitamin C are citrus fruits/ probiotics are found in mini REPORTER juices, colourful vegetables like peppers or green leafy drinks and some yoghurt. ones and potatoes with the skin still on. Zinc is found Other things you can do GETTING THE Fresher’s flu is unfortunately as in lean red meat, seafood and wholegrain cereals and include trying to chill out, much a part of university life as pub crawls ending as stress can compromise in the union but certain foods can help reduce its immune function or impact on your social life. Most importantly try for the symptoms take to eat regularly when you are ill because having a an anti inflammatory high temperature and an infection increases the such as aspirin or try amount of nutrients your body needs to function. the herbal remedy Scientists have done loads of research in to Echinacea which scientists food and the common cold and have found have also researched. that vitamin C, zinc and probiotics (good bacteria) can all shorten the length of your Send us your favourite recipes! cold and reduce the severity of your symptoms [email protected] if taken before your cold starts. Great news! A quick guide to your student newspaper

SOPHIA HAWKINS be for you. you exist! EDITOR COMMENT: Are you capable of writing a good, well structured SPORTS: You might be interested in writing reports on argumentative point on a controversial subject? Comment sporting events, your sports clubs or the like. barefacts is a 40-year-long living legend that has in recent articles can be on anything, serious or funny. DESIGN & LAY-UP: So you might not want to write an article, years had its fair share of ups and downs. Having begun life FEATURES: The features section caters for pretty much but you can still be involved. We’re always on the lookout back in 1967, it has certainly evolved somewhat these past all things fun and entertaining! From puzzles, our all new for people to help put the paper together - no previous four decades; from a single page newsletter to a weekly full- community and embarrassing moments pages to the more knowledge required. We’ll train you! And it’ll look great on fledged publication, a brief phase as a magazine and now a miscellaneous… Or maybe you fancy yourself or a friend your CV... twenty-four page fortnightly newspaper. being a Surrey Stud or Campus Honey? Let us know. PROMOTIONS & MARKETING: Interested in helping out with So what do you need to know to be part of one of the ARTS: This one’s a biggie. Music, film, literature, theatres… the marketing, promotions or advertising in barefacts? University of Surrey’s longest traditions? If you are interested the list goes on. If you’re a budding critic, then don’t hesitate Still unsure? Then why not drop visit our web site www. in contributing, please don’t hesitate to e-mail us! In the to get in contact with our Arts Editors. ussu.co.uk/barefacts or pop by the Communications meantime, for your reading pleasure, a concise guide to the POSTGRATUATE: Got a postgrad related submission? Then Office in the Students’ Union. If you do not wish to be a standard barefacts sections: PG Tips is your voice. regular writer, and simply want to submit the odd article, you NEWS: If you can write an objective unbiased news report SOCIETIES: Got a society or event going on? Let us know are of course more than welcome… Don’t forget to come by on local student or national news, then the News Team could what’s happening with your society, what you do or even that our AGM too, on Monday 24th September at 6pm in LTE. [email protected] barefacts 12 FEATURES 17 September 2007 INTERVIEW: CLLR CHRIS WARD Chris Ward was a student at the University of Surrey between 2002-2006, he has been working and living in the Guildford area since then and last May was voted in as one of the three Liberal Democrat Borough Councillors for the Onslow Ward. barefacts reporter Kathryn Medien caught up with Chris for an interview last fortnight.

Q: Chris congratulations on your election result advice to the new freshers? have a result. There is nothing more important to me than earlier on this year. How did it feel becoming Make the most of the next three/four years. It goes very the safety of my residents. Councillor Chris Ward? quickly, and students spend far too much time looking to the Thanks very much. At the time it was immensely surreal, future with the unfortunate consequence that they miss the Q: Are there any safety measures that you because I really did not think I was going to win. After an present. After university you have a 9-5 job and pay council recommend students take? exhausting three months of campaigning every evening and tax, whereas now you have an opportunity to make the Always try to walk in a group if you have to walk the streets weekend I was pretty knackered, but after the emotionally most of the university experience. Go out, enjoy yourself, at night. If you must walk alone, remember many attackers stressful ordeal of waiting at a count for hours before finally get involved in the local community if that’s your thing, and look for vulnerability – a lot of them won’t bother you if being hauled up onto a stage and declared as a councillor it make sure you can look back and say that those were the they think they are going to put up with a fight, being the felt pretty amazing. It still makes me smile. best days of your life. cowards they are. Walk confidently, don’t be hunched up, and don’t look scared or intimidated. I recall a while back the Q: What exactly does being a councillor entail? Q: Being a fresher can be a very daunting and lonely Union used to sell attack alarms for £1 each. These can be I represent the views of my residents in the Guildford experience can you offer any friend making tips to very useful at scaring some attackers off. As much as there Borough Council chamber. Guildford is separated into areas Surrey’s new intake? have been attacks at the underpass I do want to reassure called wards, and these wards have a certain number of I think it’s only daunting in the run-up to university where students that Guildford is still one of the safest towns in the councillors (1-3) depending on the number of people living you’re constantly worried about moving to a completely country. Just always be aware of your surroundings. there. My ward is Onslow, and it covers both main university new environment. Freshers week is always amazing because campuses. The councillors basically decide where council everybody is in the same boat, so they all openly go up and Q: It is good to know that something is being done tax money is spent, and make decisions on things such as say hi to each other even though they’ve never met before to ensure students’ safety. On a lighter note are building planning, venue/taxi/doorstaff licensing, and my own – it’s a great community feeling. One worry some people there any words of wisdom you would like to offer personal gripe at the moment – safety measures such as might have is when they don’t get along with their flatmates. the students here at Surrey? CCTV and lighting. I’m also the Lib Dem spokesperson for That isn’t the end of the world – most of the people I spent Probably a very odd one: eat healthily and exercise. I’ve community safety, so a lot of my time is invested in that. time with were those on my course and those that I met known far too many people whose weight changed on my nights out in the union. If you turn up and find your dramatically in the first year of university, and depression Q: So, being a councillor gives you the opportunity flatmates aren’t quite as compatible with you, still turn up can be a consequence of that, which then seriously starts to have a voice for the people, how do students and to the union – even on your own for that first night. The affecting your studies and your general self-esteem. If local resident go about contacting you? atmosphere is great and everybody will be friendly. there’s one thing I would go back and do in my university I try to be as accessible as possible. Far too many local years it would be to get involved in some sort of sport representatives have only their phone answer machine and Q: There have been a few incidents on the underpass activity, so do look at the large array of sports clubs offered an email address as a means of correspondence. I have a to Tesco’s recently which has raised safety concerns by the Union. Join the gym (it’s only £70ish) and make sure Facebook profile which I check far too regularly, an MSN among many students. What are Guildford Council you use it. Messenger address that I dedicate to my council work doing about this? ([email protected]), and a council email address: chris. Not enough. The Conservatives are in power on the If you have any queries that you would like to raise with [email protected]. I also try to be around as much council whereas my group are in opposition (there are 26 Chris or would just like to say hello I am sure he would as possible on the campus at certain meeting points so Conservative and 22 Lib Dem councillors). At my first full love to hear from you he is contactable at: people can catch me and talk to me about any issues they proper council meeting I stood up and demanded that CCTV [email protected] are having. Once freshers week is over I’ll be doing weekly be installed in light of past attacks, including two that had surgeries in Chancellors. happened that month. The executive make the decisions INTERVIEW BY: KATHRYN MEDIEN ON BEHALF OF barefacts on where money is spent, and as Q: What exactly made you go into politics? the Conservatives are in control, I very much disliked politicians in my first two years at all members of the executive are university, and likened all of them to salesmen trying to sell a Conservative. At that meeting they product that was nothing more than manipulated packaging. would not grant funding for a CCTV I think the turning point was when I met our MP of the camera. I then asked how many time, Sue Doughty. She was speaking at a debate on top-up more attacks would it take before fees at the university and seemed to just speak pragmatic they agreed that a CCTV camera sense. When I found out more about her, particularly the was a good investment – since then fact that she did copious amounts of casework for those there have been six more sexual applying for visas, even though none of them could vote for attacks. The £25,000 cost for a her, I decided that was the type of political representative camera pales into insignificance we needed more of. I bit the bullet, joined the party, and when you take into account the haven’t looked back since. It’s very important that we get £1.5million they wanted to spend more normal people into politics whose main focus is on refurbishing the council office helping people as opposed to just being elected into power. reception area. Their priorities Sue embodied that belief of mine, and it’s a principle I hold were immensely wrong, but thanks close whenever I do my duties as a councillor. to a strong team of students and activists that put pressure on the Q: As an ex Surrey student yourself can you offer any executive after five years we now Pictured: Kathryn Medien interviewing Cllr Chris Ward in Chancellors barefacts www.ussu.co.uk/barefacts 17 September 2007 PUZZLES 13

THE OF THE CURSE B I G F R E A KIN’ MAZE Colin Everett, our very own Puzzlelord has puzzles ranging from the easy to the devilishly complex. So if you need a break from lectures or work try these brain massagers out!

START HERE: To start things off we’ll get you warmed up for our puzzle adventure with some easy puzzles: Try these mazes out for size – If you can’t complete the first one seriously reconsider whether you’re cut out for solving puzzles (or university in general).

CROSSWORD CLUES DOWN:

SUDOKU the book Unua Libro. (9) Libro. the book Unua (7) tiger. 7) Female of Water alcohol, 13) Old name for 5) (4, in Latin. Life comprising an weapon, 15) Medieval (7) on a long pole. axe of Henry wives II by 17) Name shared (7) and Franklin Roosevelt. the husband of 18) In mythology, (7) Eurydice. 19) see 16 across. (Slang) (5) 22) Combination.

CLUES ACROSS: 4) (3, A wall made with no mortar. 1) Brighton had 2) Blackpool has three, years a few until one burnt down two, (5) ago. the name series, 3) In the Discworld pearwood sapient of Rincewind’s (7) companion. or Another act of scrutiny 4) (15) examination. a for care 5) Decorate with feathers; (6) of flight. chick until it is capable Artificial described in language first 6) 1) In physics, the phenomenon that explains the 16 and 19 down) Penalise engine talents for manual increase and decrease in the pitch of the sound that a dexterity. (Cryptic) (4, 5, 6) car makes when driving past you. (7, 6) 20) Landlocked European nation, sharing borders with 8) Surname of Dr Jekyll’s alter ego. (4) Austria and the Ukraine. (8) 9) Experimental test subjects. (6, 4) 21) Flee from captivity. (6) 10) Sickness. (6) 23) A number one followed by twenty-four zeroes. Or 11) Unpredictable actions. (7) forty-two, depending on your counting system. (10) 12) Uncomfortable. (3, 2, 4) 24) Humble; compliant. (4) 14) The emphasis is on us, clearly. (Cryptic) (4) 25) Areas backstage where actors and actresses 15) Drag; something that has been taken. (4) change into costume. (8, 5) [email protected] barefacts 14 COMMERCIAL BREAK 17 September 2007 barefacts www.ussu.co.uk/barefacts 17 September 2007 YOUR UNION 15 Sabbaticals!? Who are these people? What are they doing here? Democracy should be a dirty word, so today we’re going to try and shine a light on the governing forces behind the Union - any questions, ask Alex ([email protected]) WHAT IS A SABBATICAL? Some of you may have heard of things called ‘Sabbaticals’, some of you may even know what one looks like… but most don’t seem to know what a sabbatical Sabbatical Fun Facts: officers are there to represent the students of the University of Surrey. - Sabbaticals are all either current or former students of the University. This involves: - They’re made up of 70% water • Being a point of contact on all student issues/problems/queries - They’re elected into position by way of a • Speaking out about students issues locally and nationally. yearly election. They work as a sabbatical • Informing members on local or national issues that affect them. for one year (Up to a maximum of 2, but • Taking information from university and feeding back to the members they have to be re-elected) • Being a figure head for the students of the University of Surrey - The President is the head of the Students’ • Collecting information from students, compile, collate and use it to represent all Union (that includes Rubix & Chancellors) members to the university, local community and nationally. - Sabbaticals aren’t nocturnal - you can find • Overseeing the smooth running and continuity of the Students’ Union through them during the day in the Students’ Union strategic planning. Activity Centre! • Making sure the Students’ Union is acting in the best interests of all students • And be accountable to students Vice President Sports & Recreation Gemma Leaming Alongside this representational core each of the six sabbaticals has a key area of interest which they focus their attention on along with this general job description What you need me for: All above. These are specified next to their photos. things related to sports clubs & sporting representation. President - Alex Collins Gems’ role encourages What you need me for: As the head of the organisation Alex everyone to get involved in is involved in pretty much everything, so it’s hard to be that sport and exercise this year, specific about what I do on top of the points listed above. and she will be launching several campaigns to improve [email protected] involvement and equality. Mini-Site: www.ussu.co.uk/president [email protected] Vice President Education - Mike Blakeney Mini-Site: www.ussu.co.uk/sports What you need me for: General academic affairs, really - Mike is someone to go to and can help advise you if you’re having Vice President Societies big problems with your course. & Individual Developments Mark “Zeph” Griffiths [email protected] Mini-Site: www.ussu.co.uk/welfare What you need me for: Vice President Welfare - Ash Murray Zeph is responsible for the What you need me for: As a point of contact for all matters representation of all student of student well-being. Ash is also taking the lead on student societies here on campus. campaigns as well as representing your concerns to the Uni. The USSU has over 70 societies, and it’s Zeph’s job [email protected] to make sure they get all the Mini-Site: www.ussu.co.uk/welfare services they need. The VP S-ID is also responsible for promoting cultural To reach any of the officers Want to know more about activities at the Union and around campus, and using MSN or Windows the union structure? for the Union’s new Evolution project for social Live Messenger, just add enterprise. their email address as a friend and you can make [email protected] contact directly! www.ussu.co.uk Mini-Site: www.ussu.co.uk/societies

For more events information please see the Union web site [email protected] barefacts 18 YOUR UNION 17 September 2007 Welfare Matters It won’t be the first thought on your mind as you take your first steps into the great unknown that is the Surrey campus, but it should at least make it into the top ten. Student welfare officially matters, and as Kath Jones (our resident staff member dedicated to welfare) explains, it’s easy to forget yourself while you’re busy trying to remember everything else.

YOU’VE UNPACKED YOUR last box, met the people on cookbook (there are plenty on the market) is a wise your corridor, paid your first visit to the Union and now decision. We all have our limits, so make sure you don’t Representation and you’re reading your first copy of the student paper. It’s push yours too far too often. Provided you always know Welfare Unit official, you’ve arrived – and it’s time to put all that worrying your boundaries, you’ll be sure to have some great nights about your a-levels behind you and get on with the out with us. While you’re out in the Union, keep an Main Union business of being a student. There’s no denying it, settling eye on your ‘friends for life’, because that’s really what (opposite reception) into University life is not easy. It could be your first time they are. You’ll meet people at Surrey who will become away from home, where the fridge was always stocked and like family to you, and they’ll look after you in return. Staff available 9 to 5. you got your ironing done, or you might be adjusting to a You’re bound to feel a little daunted, homesick, and whole new country, not just your first time at University. down right overwhelmed when you first join us. We Contact us via our website So, what can you do to make the transition a bit easier? hope it won’t take you long to feel part of the community www.ussu.co.uk/welfare Looking after yourself is a huge step on the way to atmosphere on campus. If you’re having trouble settling Or call us on 01483 683265 settling into student life. If you feel good, you’ll find that in, have a question about anything (whether it’s a huge sorting out your finances, your new timetable and even issue for you or you’re just wondering where to go Ash Murray, and is a great first port of call. We’re here remembering everyone’s names becomes a lot easier. If out tonight) pop into the Union’s Representation and to make sure your student life at Surrey is the best it can cooking for yourself feels a bit daunting, don’t forget you Welfare Unit for an answer and a friendly face. The possibly be, and we have an open door policy so you can come can eat pretty well on a budget. Investing in a student unit houses your student representative for welfare, and see us, call us or email us whenever you need to talk.

Brooklands Air museum have also taken place. USSU are launching a new social enterprise scheme, The V Project As a student volunteer with V Project you can register which is another way to engage in community activities your interests & availability so that information about & improve more specific employability skills. For more Students’ Union Volunteering Scheme any matching volunteering opportunities will be sent information about forthcoming Evolution Projects HELEN JACKSON you. Volunteers can claim back any travel expenses so visit: www.ussu.co.uk USSU COMMUNITY DEVELOPMENT CO-ORDINATOR you won’t be out of pocket for volunteering. You will also receive a certificate for your The V Project volunteering scheme is the ideal volunteering placement to acknowledge opportunity for you to make a difference to your local the contribution you have made to community & utilise your skills. Students can volunteer a community organisation. Whether on an individual, on going basis at a local organisation directly linked to a specific skill you need or with various group one-off opportunities. in your academic field or an unrelated Last academic year students gained a wide variety interest, volunteering improves your CV of voluntary experience which provided great work & can help you stand out from the crowd. experience, the chance to indulge an interest, learn This year there are some fantastic new new skills & meet new people. Volunteering placements opportunities for all interests & levels have included, working at a Wildlife Hospital, Mentoring of time commitment. To see the range & Tutoring in Schools, Assisting with teaching IT to of voluntary opportunities visit www. adults with learning difficulties, assisting at a variety ussu.co.uk. If you have any questions or of different children’s activity clubs, befriending a child queries regarding V Project please contact: with learning difficulties & coordinating PR & publicity [email protected] for a high profile arts festival. One-off group activities In addition to the volunteering such as conservation work & a site maintenance day at opportunities offered by the V Project,

Evolution is new student social enterprise initiative planning stages of each project, further students will be ussu.co.uk whereby you can work in a team to plan & deliver an recruited to deliver the projects themselves, assisting with While initial projects have been identified for the first exciting project. Each Evolution project makes a fantastic aspects such as publicity, workshop delivery/running of year of Evolution it is hoped that the project will evolve difference to the wider community or student life while an activity for projects such as The International Festival, into a student led initiative, with students submitting developing your key employability skills. administration & stewarding. proposals for projects which they have identified as having Students work together in a small group on the planning A selection of Social Enterprise projects are planned to strong community benefits as well as great scope for of a project, with mentoring from a staff member/sabbatical take place at different times throughout the year, these are: student development. officer. Training in topics such as time management, A RAWU campaign, The completion of The Three Peaks If you would like more information about Evolution team working, funding applications & problem solving is Challenge, Sports Relief Mile, a fundraising community fun or if you have a suggestion for a project contact: provided, ensuring that you have the skills to apply to run, a fete event & the expansion of International week [email protected] each project. into a community two week International Festival. Further In addition to a small team of students required for the information about these projects can be found at: www. [email protected] barefacts www.ussu.co.uk/barefacts 17 September 2007 COMMERCIAL BREAK 19 Send your submissions to:

Arts Editors Patrick Hunter & Jake South barea ts [email protected] Kate Nash Dizzee Rascal Made of Bricks Maths + English Polydor/Fiction XL Recordings

Rushed out earlier than originally planned By my reckoning, Maths + English = Minglish. But to capitalise on the popularity of the single what do I know? Exactly. Nothing. So it’s official. “Foundations”, Harrow-based singer-songwriter The Rascal is back. After enjoying a Mercury Kate Nash debuted at #1 in the UK Album Chart Music Prize for debut release ‘Boy In Da Corner’, with enough albums sold in its first week to be Dylan Mills was stabbed five times in Ayia Napa. certified Gold. However, as impressive as this Bad times. Luckily, this didn’t deter him from all might sound it is difficult to view Nash, complete with faux Cockneyfied releasing his second, and equally as good, ‘Showtime’ in 2004, proving to accent, as anything more than a poor man’s Lily Allen. Whilst Nash proclaims to be a leading figure in the grime scene. Three years later, and ‘Maths + English’ be baffled due to the comparisons, look no further than Nash’s breakthrough is just what the doctor ordered. A fine, yet simple, blend of beats and lyrics single about vengeful relationship strife delivered in a London accent (“Every forms the basis of all 14 tracks, and yet in each case, something stands out time you’re upset, I just smile”) and Allen’s summer 2006 hit “Smile” about and makes you say “I like this one” after hearing the first few seconds of each vengeful relationship strife delivered in a London accent (“When I see you song. Definite highlights include ‘Temptation’ and ‘Wanna Be’ featuring Alex cry, it makes me smile”) and draw the parallels for yourself. Lead singles aside, Turner from Arctic Monkeys and the adorable Lily Allen respectively. Turner musically Nash is noticeably scruffier-sounding and diverse than Allen, but provides a sobering chorus line between Dizzee’s frantic lyrics, whilst Miss lyrically “Made of Bricks” fails to offer anything more than snippets of Friday Allen transforms a fantastic song into a sure-fire number one with her perfect night pub banter and forced txt msg rhyme that is not that clevvah clever. pop transformation; she even has a (successful) go at rapping. Oh yeah. First Musically there is hope for Nash as the unforgettable chorus of “Foundations” single, ‘Sirens’, has a lazy industrial beat and stop-start distorted guitars making proves, as well as the fine melodies of “Merry Happy” and “Mouthwash”. Nash’s it either impossible to dance to, or if you’re drunk enough, ideal. The second real downfall is her unenviable ability to make ordinary situations sound even single is the incredible ‘Pussyole’ or ‘Old Skool’ on the radio for obvious more painfully dull. On “Mouthwash” she mundanely sings “I use mouthwash, reasons. Based on the ‘It Takes Two’ (by Rob Base & E-Z Rock) drum beat, and sometimes I floss” as well as “I’ve got a family, I drink cups of tea”. There’s a with some cleverly added synths, the track bumps & grinds away leaving all glimmer of genuine wit on the depiction of unrequited love on “We Get On”, sorts of funky dancing in its wake.The thing which makes Dizzee Rascal’s music whilst the clattering percussion of “Skeleton Song” somehow works well as so accessible to all generations is his way with words. This is, or course, a lie, the album’s most musically ambitious. Meanwhile, “Pumpkin Soup” sounds like and if you plan on playing M+E to your Gran, don’t. Even though she’s unlikely a Lily Allen castaway and the aptly titled “Dickhead” simply grates. “You’ve got to know what a ‘Pussyole’ is. that look in your eyes when I’m telling a story and you find it boring” she sings on “Foundations” as she rebukes her boyfriend, but by the end of the album Patrick Hunter it’s difficult to not understand how he feels. The Libertines Josh Bates The Libertines Rough Trade Tiesto’s Club Life Podcast I know, I know, there are two things wrong with this review before I’ve even finished writing Here I have some important news for all dance the first sentence. Firstly, it’s an old album and admirers, however if you are not Guildford’s no.1 secondly, it means that somewhere along the house fan but still enjoy a serious hoedown, then line I’m going to have to mention the words Pete this will still be of interest I am sure. Over the last and Doherty. I do not wish to offend anyone, few months one of the worlds most well recognised DJs has been producing but this album is a classic, and if I can convert even one non-believer, then my weekly podcasts full to the brim of the latest house and electro sounds out work here is done. Agreed, some of the songs are a little rough ‘round the there, known only as Tiesto’s Club Life. Even if you are full of hatred and edges, but they are catchy all the same. My favourite tracks include ‘Don’t Be revulsion for Tiesto, I strongly urge you not to throw this paper into a toilet Shy’ and ‘What Became of the Likely Lads’. This album opened my eyes to indie out of disgust as there is very little Tiesto music within these podcasts. Every music and was one of the first albums I bought. Released in 2004 it still sounds week he conducts extensive hunts for the tastiest new dance tracks of which as good today as when I first bought it. Pete didn’t always do drugs, in fact, it he then mixes into an hour of pure musical wonderment. There are also two is said he helped his friend Johnny Borrell (a.k.a Mr Razorlight) off drugs at one regular features of the cast; “Tiesto’s classic” and “15 minutes of fame”. The first point. Whether he was on them during this album I don’t think really matters. of course is simply a popular dance classic of a well known disc jockey that If we discriminated against all albums for this reason, I doubt we would be left Tiesto has selected. The second; “15 minutes”, features a track from a fresh with much to listen to. The self-titled album gives us 14 fun filled tracks. There DJ talent that has touched Tiesto’s soul. This however rarely lasts more than six are guitar riffs, drum solos and attempts at singing - what more could you or seven minutes and so the title “15 mintues of fame” doesn’t really fit, yet wish for?? Whether you borrow this from a friend, buy in a bargain basement he’s not English so I’ll say well done for trying. These podcasts are brilliant for somewhere or -off the record- ‘acquire’ it, just give it one open-minded listen up-to-the-minute music every week, as once you start getting sick of one; the and you won’t be disappointed. The Libertines have gone down in musical next is ready for your ears to take pleasure in. So get involved this instant, tap history: this wasn’t their first, but it was their last... Treasure it!! Tiesto’s Club Life into the iTunes music store, click subscribe and you’re away. Jake South Rachael Fitz-Patrick barefacts www.ussu.co.uk/barefacts 17 September 2007 MUSIC 21 Girls Aloud Booty Luv Sexy! No No No… Don’t Mess With My Man Polydor/Fascination Hed Kandi

Almost five years on from 2002’s Popstars: Following on from the incredible success of The Rivals, Girls Aloud return with their the scorching Tweet cover “Boogie 2Nite” sixteenth single and lead-in from their fourth and moderate hit with their version of Luther studio album. The curiously titled “Sexy! No Vandross’ “Shine”, Nadia Shepherd and Cherise No No…” begins with a lengthy, vocodered Roberts – aka Booty Luv – return with their very intro that descends into the typical Aloud own reworking of Lucy Pearl’s classic which high-energy chorus with lots of guitars musically reminiscent of last Autumn’s was a top twenty hit in 2000. The track combines Booty Luv’s soulful R&B “Something Kinda Ooooh” – complete with a song structure even more vocals with an infectious slice of house along the same lines as their previous unconventional than 2005’s “Biology”. Described by the band as an “edgy” offerings. Certainly not as instant as “Boogie 2Nite”, “Don’t Mess With My Man” progression in their sound, this is perhaps one of their least infectious dance- will no doubt be another crowd pleaser – even if the forthcoming album, also pop numbers which perhaps suffers from trying to be a bit too clever. called “Boogie 2Nite”, contains arguably better single choices than this.

Josh Bates James Ward

Jennifer Lopez Sugababes Do It Well About You Now Sony BMG/Epic Universal/Island

Jenny Lo returns this Autumn with her sixth A definitive departure from the sound of their studio album “Brave”. Following on from the previous singles, the first offering from the abysmal “Rebirth”, La Lopez is making a distinct Sugababes forthcoming fifth studio album move back to the dancefloor with this release. “Change” is a pop-electro-rock stomper “Do It Well” – a satisfying, flamethrowing pop- like nothing the band has released before. urban pearl in Lopez’s discography – boasts an Produced by Dr. Luke (“Since U Been Gone”, “U + Ur Hand”, “Girlfriend”) infectious up-tempo beat with a mixture of styles that is perhaps the strongest and co-written by Cathy Dennis (“Don’t Stop Movin”, “Toxic”), this melodically J. Lo single since “Jenny From The Block”. Produced and written by Ryan captivating track is an anthem for anyone who’s ever chucked everything away Tedder of US pop-rock band OneRepublic, “Do It Well” is built on a sample of and immediately regretted it. Aldershot-born Amelle Berrabah, who replaced Eddie Kendrick’s 1973 US #1, “Keep On Truckin”. And, erm, for those of you co-founding member Mutya Buena in late 2005, features heavily on the track who always dreamed about what Jennifer would have looked like if she had which sees the ‘babes back on form following their questionable cover of recorded the video to “Dirrty”, look no further than the video for this… Aerosmith’s “Walk This Way” earlier in the year with Girls Aloud.

Jocelyn James Josh Bates

Nicole Scherzinger feat. T.I. Shayne Ward Whatever U Like If That’s OK With You/No U Hang Up Polydor/A&M SonyBMG

After a mere one album with her bandmates, Despite boasts of a ‘new sound’, Shayne Ward lead Pussycat Doll Nicole Scherzinger has come returns with a song with some of the worst lyrical a long way since her 2001 debut as part of howlers in recent times which may as well feature Eden’s Crush, winners of America’s version of the Chipmunks. Claiming to be influenced by US Popstars. “Whatever U Like” offers a dark, sultry R&B it seems far more likely Shayne has spent piece of R&B produced by Atlanta-based the last 12 months listening to Peter André. With Polow Da Don (“London Bridge”, “Buttons”, “Glamorous”). Opening with lyrics like “I want to saint your mother for giving you birth” over a reggae-tinged sirens suspiciously similar to Kelis’ “Blindfold Me” (also produced by Don), pop beat it’s no wonder his record company have tagged on the wimpy “No Scherzinger unsurprisingly sings about doing whatever her man likes, including U Hang Up” as the double A-side – featuring the four words most likely to “riding it like a Harley”. A fairly standard ‘club banger’ by all accounts, the first make any sane person want to throw a complete stranger’s phone out of the single off “Her Name Is Nicole” is no doubt a hit in the making. window. Naturally, the video features Shayne poolside lyk so buff omg lolz.

Dillon Knight Josh Bates

Britney Spears Gimme More SonyBMG/Jive

The comeback single from “the legendary Miss Britney Spears”, as she is referred to by the track’s producer towards the end of the song, definitely is set to return her to being known as a Proper Pop Star™ rather than a tabloid mess. Sounding like the love child of 2001’s “I’m A Slave 4 U” and Nelly Furtado’s “Maneater”, the song’s opening line - “It’s Britney, bitch!” - is perhaps pop music’s greatest opening line ever. This bleepy synth-pop goodness comes courtesy of Timbalands protégé Nate “Danja” Hills.

Josh Bates [email protected] barefacts 22 BAREARTS 17 September 2007

IOW Festival, Newport Nationwide Mercury Prize 8th-10th June 2007 Ding ding ding. Newsflash: It’s almost The 8th through to the 10th of June is time for one of the biggest contest in the when I officially lost my festival virginity. music calendar, and I don’t mean the ‘Beat I was a bit apprehensive about showers, toilets etc. before going, but I was Simon Cowell to death with his own ego pleasantly surprised!!! The IOW Festival is like a massive family gathering… competition’. Oh no. This is (arguably) but with family you actually like, and you all share a common interest, that MUCH better… I am of course talking about being quite obviously music. Now, I’m probably describing pretty much the former-Panasonic-and-now Nationwide every festival there is, so what makes the Isle of Wight special?? Firstly, you Mercury Prize. Oh yes. The time has come get to take a ferry. This, although fun, is probably the main drawback due to to choose from the best albums of 2007, the extortionate cost!! Anyhoo, featured bands included The Feeling, Muse, and pick the ultimate supreme champion Snow Patrol, Paulo Nutini and of course The Rolling Stones. There were loads of music in the whole world ever and the more, but this review isn’t meant to be merely gloating about how many galaxy. All genres are welcome, but the artists people I got to see!! The weather luckily was glorious, the tent not too far can only be from Britain (or Ireland). Previous away and the atmosphere was amazing. I will put my hands up and admit I winners include Primal Scream’s legendary ‘Screamadelica’, Ms. Dynamite’s ‘A had not heard much of The Rolling Stones, so was not as excited as I should Little Deeper’ and Arctic Monkeys’ ‘Whatever People Say I Am, That’s What I’m have been. However, they put on an amazing show, with a travelling stage Not’. This award is a big deal for many of the artists concerned, as the winning and the obligatory fireworks. The best act would have to be them or Muse, album, chosen by a panel of judges, is said to demonstrate exceptional musical for the show they put on if nothing else! skill and inherent widespread appeal. Also, the winners tend to go on to do After a few failed attempts at campsite cooking, my boyfriend and I resorted pretty well for themselves. to festival food, which mainly consisted of pancakes and the odd burger. The shortlisted albums are chosen from hundreds of releases and are the Hygiene-wise, I was equipped with baby wipes, but actually managed to cream of the crop (they rise to the top). This year is no exception. From shower!!! A two-hour wait, but still a shower none the less! The Isle of Wight the already popular (Amy Winehouse, Arctic Monkeys, Jamie T) to the lesser provided an amazing weekend, equipped with everything from free cider in known entries (Basquiat Strings, Fionn Regan and Maps), this year’s selection the morning, dancing, to Groove Amada in the evening and even laying down is particularly good. Miss Winehouse and the ‘Monkeys are current favourites on a sunny Sunday afternoon listening to James Morrison. Magic. The major to win, although you never know which way it’s going to go… Surprise 2005 advantage of this festival is that there is only one stage, so you get to see the winners Antony & The Johnsons made everyone go “…umm don’t you mean whole line up! No tough decisions or arguments over what to see when and the Kaiser Chiefs?” but they proved to earn a massive cult following. So there where. I didn’t even get to wear my wellies. you go. You can tune into the awards ceremony sometime in September, but for now, you may want to listen to all the nominated albums and stage your Rachael Fitz-Patrick own prize-giving at home. Go on. Give it a try.

The Alternative Life of the Guildford Night Amy Winehouse: Back to Black Nightlife Review Arctic Monkeys: Favourite Worst Nightmare Basquiat Strings: Basquiat Strings with Seb Rochford If you are new to the University of Surrey and/or Guildford itself this year and Bat For Lashes: Fur and Gold have an alternative music taste, then read on at haste for a couple of head Dizzee Rascal: Maths + English starters. Fionn Regan: The End of History It is no hidden secret from the world that Guildford is not home to the most Jamie T: Panic Prevention thriving hip hot indie scene south side of the big smoke, although this is not to Klaxons: Myths of the Near Future say that there is no scene at all, there is. Maps: We Can Create For big gigs in Guildford the only place to head (literally) is the Boilerooms, New Young Pony Club: Fantastic Playroom a tiny little venue on the edge of town. Over the last few months this spot The View: Hats Off to the Buskers has seen the likes of Good Books, The Noisettes and Foals amongst many The Young Knives: Voices of Animals and Men other outlandish acts. Not only these but the Boilerooms boast club nights and themed evenings including regular indie pop discos, poetry evenings and jam Patrick Hunter nights. Nice. If you fancy a dance Guildford has two main nightclubs; “Harpers” and “Time”, both incredibly exciting places. Once a month however Time goes wild by putting on the club night “Indie-GoGo”, previously hosted by The Winterkids. This by far is one of the best nights of music in Guildford for indie pop lovers, get a bit merry and you’ll shaking your hips to big tracks all night barea ts (till 3am). Usually the first Tuesday of each month, don’t miss it. Keen as a bean for a beverage in Guildford centre? The Star Inn is a popular student location due to its laid back and characteristic atmosphere, aided by the tunes of live Disc Jockeys throughout the week. This particular public needs you! house also features a small room tucked round the back known as the Live & Whilst this edition’s Arts section has mainly focussed around Music, there’s Loud Bar which hosts regular gigs from local talents and up coming acts. Once so much more we’d like to print! If you fancy yourself as a film, DVD or even upon a time it is here that top of the pops favourites Art Brut entertained many TV critic we’d love to hear from you! a person. Could they return I hear you call? Unlikely, but you never know who Or maybe you’d prefer to write about the theatre or some literature! could appear upon the Live & Loud stage next (unless you check first). We also accept poetry and short stories, and in the past have been known The small amount of entertaining places mentioned above is a mere few of to run SOME competitions too! what this town has to offer, be sure to go out and get occupied. To find out more information, drop the Arts Editors an e-mali on Jake South [email protected] - or simply just send in your reviews! barefacts www.ussu.co.uk/barefacts 17 September 2007 COMMERCIAL BREAK 23 [email protected] barefacts 24 SOCIETIES & MISC. 17 September 2007 Turkish University of Surrey Boat Club Winning Again Speakers Society ‘Absolute Beginners to Perpetual Winners’

BUKET BADDAL VICE PRESIDENT, TURKISH SPEAKERS SOCIETY

TURKISH SPEAKERS SOCIETY has been established by a group of students studying at Surrey. After a short period of inactivity, our society got together again in 2007. We have a couple of objectives: letting people who are interested to learn something about our customs and traditions, beliefs, language, religion, lifestyle, cuisine, music, as well as gathering them regularly in a warm environment of friendship to get to know and help each other. As a society, we believe that these are the best years of our lives and we should use every opportunity to make friends, spend time together which might help us to alleviate the stresses associated with our studies a bit. There is a strong bond within our society which The Surrey Senior Men’s Squad enables us to meet our objectives year upon year. ‘Turkish Delight’ and ‘Harem’ parties with bellydancers, Between them over 100 wins, including BUSA medals. regular kebab parties and picnics, nights out, celebrations of important days of our culture are Almost all learned to row at Surrey. some of our activities that have been done until now. Interested? We wish to keep our society right on Contact Phil Costen, Coach track and we are ready for the new academic year, with new members and new events. [email protected] In this section our pages can Partying with the barefacts only feature a minority of the Brazilian Society 60+ societies the USSU has. agm www.ussu.co.uk/societies THALES PANZA DE PAULA BRAZILIAN SOCIETY LTE, 24/Sep @ 6pm

THINK YOU’VE GOT the talent? Then use it! SUN, SAMBA, Capoeira, Music, Laughter and the Italian Society fabulous and lavish Carnaval … Brazil has all of this At our AGM we’ll be electing the follow positions of: and much more. If you are looking for an injection MATTHEW GIANNOTTI Editor, Deputy Editor (Design), Deputy Editor (Marketing), of energy to make you feel alive, Brazil is the place ITALIAN SOCIETY News Editor, Deputy News Editor, Copy Editor, Features for you! Editor, Arts Editor, Societies Editor, Sports Editor, Puzzlelord Over three years ago at the University of Surrey a group BUON GIORNO! Are you Italian and been wondering and Webmaster. of Brazilians decided to put together a society to celebrate where you will be able to meet other Italians? Are you For more information why not pop by our web site? all these things and share it with all those who have an not Italian but would like to meet some Italians? www.ussu.co.uk/barefacts interest in this amazing country. Today is your lucky day...the Italian Society welcomes you Brazil’s colourful diversity and geographical abundance to join us! We are a relatively new society which opened 2 seem to embody everything that is best in South America. years ago, and we are still only on a small scale. We hope to The Amazon flows through its heart! There is a dazzling have your support and look forward to meeting you. string of great cities along its coast - the pulse-pounding If you have any questions please let us know, our society resort of Rio de Janeiro; sprawling, metropolitan Sao Paulo; e-mail address is: [email protected] and, further north, the entrancing canals, paradise beaches Come to our stand at the Freshers Fayre and we will be and all year round summer. glad to sign you up! We see the University of Surrey as a small version of Brazil’s cultural and ethnical diversity. Brazil has an incredible amount of diversity in vegetation and climate and a fascinating cultural mix of immigrants who range from Africa to Japan and have brought with them their customs and cuisines. So make sure you get in touch with us to get a taste of all that Brazil has to offer and on Thursday the 27th of September join us to party at Helyn Rose Bar!!

[email protected] barefacts www.ussu.co.uk/barefacts 17 September 2007 SOCIETIES & MISC. 25 More pride than a pack of lions! PERRY HIGGS sending PRESIDENT, LGBT SOCIETY delegates to The official LGBT Welcome Meeting for this year is Tuesday 25th September at 7pm. attend the NUS Be sure to pop along, whether you are a Fresher, new or returning member! Food THE UNIVERSITY of Surrey Lesbian, Gay, LGBT winter and drink is provided. Please note only current students may attend this meeting. Bisexual & Trans (LGBT) society exists as both an and summer official USSU society, as well as a welfare amenity. conferences. The society will also be at Freshers’ Fayre on Wednesday 19th September. Feel free to pop by and visit us for a chat if you’re interested in joining the society. Whilst the University has very few problems with In addition, the rejection of sexual diversity due to a very open-minded LGBT also has LGBT Society Web Site: www.ussu.co.uk/lgbt and accepting student population, the main goal of the two elected Includes further details of society meetings, events LGBT society is to provide a welcome, safe and relaxed representatives and mailing list sign-up! environment in which LGBT students can regularly meet. at the monthly Weekly social meetings (details of which can be found on Student Assembly, Tease: www.teaseguildford.co.uk www.myspace.com/teaseguildford the society’s website, see right) take place on Tuesdays at the LGBT Officer See centre pages of this issue for information 7pm and provide a casual meeting forum to discuss social and LGBT Society regarding the Freshers’ Tease feat. Booty Luv aspects of the society, allow people to get involved and meet representative, new people, with food and drink provided. Aside from the who will vote social aspects, the representing the interests of LGBT students. a Uniform Night (November 2006), the Foam Party (July society increasingly Over the last two years the monthly LGBT night at the 2007) and live acts on stage; such as Rachel Stevens gets involved with Students’ Union club, Rubix, have become increasingly (December 2005), The Scizzor Sisterz (October 2006) and welfare issues popular. Launching in October 2005, Tease has become a Take This (December 2006). Everyone is welcome to Tease – building liaisons prominent part of the USSU’s entertainment calendar, regardless of their sexuality – gay, straight or otherwise. with the local charity catering for both students and the local community alike. Gay Surrey as well as Previous nights have featured resident DJs from Brighton, [email protected] Memoirs of a Placement Student SATNAM SOKHY towards making the placement so enjoyable - we always had COMMENT WRITER a laugh and a joke and there was never a dull moment. My boss’ passion for wine also meant that I had some I HAVE JUST had one of the best years of my life! excellent opportunities such as being a judge at a prestigious Yes, I was working hard at a translation company for 10 wine competition, months, but boy did I have fun. Challenge International du Vin, I had the chance to go to When I started my placement in Bordeaux (wine capital Vinexpo -a huge wine exhibition, and also visited several of the world- maybe that explains it!), I really didn’t châteaux for tastings. expect things to turn out so well. Initially, meeting people was a big challenge since I didn’t However, a couple of months into it all I was already know anybody in Bordeaux, but I perservered and ended up enjoying life as a Bordelaise and wasn’t so sure that I wanted with a really good bunch of French, to move onto Paris and English friends by going to bars and clubs and just for the final part of my placement. So I decided to stay chatting to people. Maybe not the most natural places to fresh produce from the market on the quays, sitting on the where I was and am extremely glad as I went on to build a form friendships but it worked for me! steps of the Grand Théâtre people watching... nice life for myself People were very friendly and would often strike up I also took the opportunity to do some travelling and went in the beautiful city that was recently listed a UNESCO conversation with me, so I didn’t have to do all the hard to Toulouse twice (thanks Sunil!), to the beach at Arcachon World Heritage Site. work! I met people from many different countries where I climbed the highest sand dune in Europe (La Dune I loved my job translating everything from wine-related and the diversity was great. du Pyla), to the seaside resorts of Lacanau and Biscarosse, articles and work for the Bordeaux tourist office, to scientific Apart from chores such as cleaning the flat, going food and of course, Paris among other places! reports, recipes and a lot more (from French into English). shopping etc, since I had no other responsibilities I was able I had a few visits from family memebers and also popped Working with a great bunch of people greatly contributed to go out as much as I pleased and back home a few times which was all very convenient thanks I loved the freedom! After work I often met up with to direct flights between Bordeaux and Gatwick Airport. friends to gor for a drink, to the cinema, for dinner etc. After my placement, in July I moved in with a friend and Weekends included shopping in town, enjoyed a month just making the most of my time in the visiting museums, going for coffee, clubbing in the evening... country, continuing to speak French as much as possible it was all a lot of fun. and spending time with the people that I would sadly be Some of my highlights included: a boat party till the early parting from. hours of the morning on the Garonne River, the Bordeaux Bordeaux is a fantastic place steeped in history with a music festival with sound systems and bands in the street, whole range of things to see and do. football matches at the local stadium, my 21st birthday at a Leaving wasn’t easy and I miss my old life and my friends salsa bar and pub and some brilliant drum and bass nights everyday but I know I will be back there soon enough! at clubs in town. Vive La France! There was always so much to do and as it started to get warmer I enjoyed going to the parc (Le Jardin Public), buying www.bordeaux-tourisme.com [email protected] barefacts 26 COMMERCIAL BREAK 17 September 2007 barefacts www.ussu.co.uk/barefacts 17 September 2007 SPORT 27 Welcome to Surrey Sports A Note from the Sport Eds... WELCOME TO THE BAREFACTS took on this role this time last year, we have taken the Sports Keep the pictures coming in too - again they don’t always SPORTS SECTION…CALLING section from barely a page to a whopping five pages (we still have to be of the game… ALL SPORTS TEAMS campaign for more). An idea that was introduced last year Anyway, here’s the first edition, obviously no matches yet was making each team select a ‘dunce’ (that’s the worst word mean it’s a load of shameless club promoting, freshers choose WELCOME BACK TO Surrey, both old and new students…I I can type here – feel free to choose your own) of the day your team wisely, or just try them all…good luck to every hope you have had an enjoyable break after every game, this individual would then be responsible sports team for this year Thank you for the intense response we have had recently for writing just 200-300 words on the game and sending it Matt Cheetham and Tony Hanson from pretty much every sports team regarding articles. We in. This worked well towards the end of last year so I hope it have done our best to include as many as possible, (ones can continue. It’s great to read about epic victories, comedy with pictures will always get preference). Since Tony and I losses, shocking referees and also the nights out afterwards. [email protected] Chop Chop, Sign Up

BY KARATE CLUB (predefined sequence of techniques). The Karate Club here at UniS is one of the KARATE MEANS EMPTY Hand - meaning it most established sports clubs. We have two is a form of self-defence. Karate is one of the Senseis (teachers), one of whom is a 4th Dan most popular martial arts in the world. and has been teaching Karate for more than Here at the University of Surrey Karate Club 25 years. We have a range of grades ranging we practice Shotokan Karate. This particular from absolute beginner through to black belts. style emphasises powerful linear techniques At our Karate Club everyone is welcome and deep, strong stances. Shotokan Karate and the first lesson is free so why not come focuses equally on punches and kicks and and learn how to defend yourself?” defending them with blocks. Training sessions are split into three disciplines: Kihon (basic techniques), Kumite (sparring) and Kata [email protected] UniS Boat Club Surrey Angels BY THE BOAT CLUB best friends through the club, and have loved HI, WE ARE the cheerleaders here at the the afternoon at Fresher’s Fayre with special everything about rowing. University of Surrey. We train to compete performances of sections of our award WHETHER YOU INTEND to train hard in both cheer and dance competitions all winning July 2007 National Cheerleading to become a top athlete and win races How to Join over the country! We practice hard but like Championship cheer and dance routine!! or simply want to have a paddle at the The easiest way to join our club is to come to have lots of fun at socials and fundraising So if you are interested in joining either the weekends, you are guaranteed to have a lot along to our introductory sessions on events throughout the year! The upcoming cheerleading squad or dance team, (or both!) of fun in the Boat Club. You don’t have to Saturday 22nd and Sunday 23rd. We meet at year looks set to be amazing, with a new then come watch the performances and feel make a huge commitment – although rowers 9:00 at car park 1 (the car park near the gym committee, more competitions and cheering free to ask any questions. We are looking for in our top crews train up to about 10 times and the main entrance to the university). for the American football team! male and female cheerleaders! a week, some club members only come to If you can’t make it to these sessions then We will be showing off our skills throughout the odd training session and the socials, and get in touch on our forum (http://www. still enjoy themselves. As a club we cater for forumsvibe.com/usbc) these people and everything in between. Rowing is an excellent sport for improving First Social fitness and strength, so there’s plenty to gain Our first freshers’ social will be on Wednesday in physical terms. Or for the more outspoken 26th September. It will be a 3-legged pub amongst you, why not try coxing? We need crawl starting at Chancellors and finishing at people with dominant personalities to steer the union. We will be meeting from 7:00, and our boats and to shout at and motivate our leaving at 7:30. All are welcome, even if you crews while they row. haven’t managed to make it to any training The club also has a great social scene. sessions yet. Just look out for the group in We’re a tight-knit group with plenty of the yellow splash jackets! socials, including many planned for the first couple of weeks to “welcome” the new freshers! Most rowers find that by the end [email protected] of university, they have met some of their [email protected] barefacts 28 SPORT 17 September 2007 Come Ride With Us the BUSA league. They will be trained by Carl Belson – who runs Old Park Stables. Carl rides competitively himself in both show-jumping and eventing and is a very experienced instructor. Each year we also try to run an inter-club friendly competition catering for all abilities – this is usually at the end of the year and enables all riders to put into practice what they have learnt throughout the year. As well as the riding side of things we are also a social group, who enjoy having a good time. One of our favourites is the very popular ‘pub eventing’ – a bit like ‘pub golf’ but with each pub being a type fence on the cross country course rather than a hole on the golf course. We also arrange group trips to horsy events such as Olympia, and a new plan for this year is to try to arrange and Equestrian club tour – if the rugby club can have one why can’t we? We will also have an Equestrian table at the colours ball (an event at the end of the year to which all clubs and societies are invited). This year should be fun and exciting and it would be great if YOU could come and join us. If you are interested in joining the club or want any other information come and find us at the freshers fair.

[email protected]

BY JO BASS We are based at Old Park Stables just outside Farnham EQUESTRIAN CLUB CHAIRLADY where they have a range of horses and ponies suitable for all abilities. Ace! The lessons are tailored to suit everyone from complete THE UNIVERSITY OF Surrey Equestrian club is a very well DO YOU ENJOY meeting new people? How about visiting beginners to those who are more advanced riders. established and successful club that has been running for a other countries to do what you love? Or maybe you just Again this year we plan to have two teams competing in number of years. have a fondness of balls? Yes? Then you should join the University of Surrey Tennis Club! As one of the most popular societies at the University, the University of Surrey Tennis Club is an ideal place to do all of Score With The Soccerettes these things! As well as providing an excellent environment BY NICKI HOWES Last year, we often to meet new people and have a great time, we also compete TEAM CAPTAIN found ourselves in the top inter-university leagues at both men’s and women’s celebrating a win levels, and have a social team for those of you who fancy WiITH FRESHERS FAYRE this week and first years already or loss in typical more of a laugh than tough competition! tagged ‘raw meat’- you have probably found yourself being sportsman style, But we’re not all about the tennis! We also plan regular poached from every angle. On that note- Surrey University and things are pub crawls, host society BBQ’s, play themed mixed doubles Women’s football club want you! Whether you’ve ever played going to be no and much more. New plans this year include: before, already do or did with another team, or just want to different this time A number of trips to countries abroad to play tennis both get fit with friends, come and check out our stand. round. As well as at competitive and recreational level (followed by absorbing Finishing 6th last season in a Southern BUSA league- winning the occasional pub the local cultures! i.e. drink, food and nightlife!). New team crucial games against our rivals I might add, the Women’s crawl, we’ve been kits have been introduced this year (tracksuits, polo’s and football teams objective for this year is to gain promotion known to run hoodies all branded with the Surrey logo). Increased number and put pressure on the big guns. We train every Thursday rowdy theme nights; dressing up in numerous comical outfits of social events including BBQ’s, joint-pub crawls and many at the Varsity Centre from 6-8pm, with our UEFA B qualified a regular chore, with cowgirls, chavs and pirates, which is my more. New LTA rating system for all society members coach Joe Sebo, then of course it’s up to the bar for a few personal favorite. You’ll be able to see some of the photos who wish to improve their tennis. New ticket draws for drinks afterwards. Training is going be up and running on the from our nights out at the footy stall at Freshers Fair, although Wimbledon tickets. 20th (the day after Freshers Fair), in preparation for our first sadly none of the embarrassing ones of myself will be there- On the whole the members of the University of Surrey league match against Royal Holloway on the 10th October. well not if I can work out how to delete them first! Tennis Club will be in for an exciting year! So if you play I’m also hoping to organize a few friendlies against some local So, I hope I’ve sold us; If only to come say hey, or ask tennis at a competitive level, just for fun, or even if you have Guildford teams throughout the season, as well as a game where the Tennis stall is. We’ll be there on the 19th and never picked up a tennis racquet before, feel free to come against ex-Surrey Girls- one I’m already planning tactically! would appreciate your skills. Drinking skills that is, as well as visit us at either fresher’s fair or at the Varsity Sports Centre As well as playing the beautiful game, we’re not disillusioned improving your football ability is the reason why we have a - Wednesdays 1pm-3pm or Sundays 2pm-4pm. Alternatively and are well aware that the social aspect of any team is a coach. you can e-mail us on [email protected] for more necessity- with little complaints in the past as you can imagine. information. Article by Luke McClelland barefacts www.ussu.co.uk/barefacts 17 September 2007 COMMERCIAL BREAK 29 [email protected] barefacts 30 SPORT 17 September 2007 They’re Back! Guildford’s Champions have conquered on the domestic front...now for Europe

BY ANTHONY HANSON SPORTS EDITOR Guildford Heat Tickets GUIDFORD’S PREMIER SPORTS team return for the start of the new Tickets are on sale campaign and this season they are NOW from the going continental. Fresh from they’re double triumph in the BBL Cup and Students the league championship in the 2006- Union Shop 2007 season the Heat begin their new Price: £5 assault on the league championship away to the Newcastle Eagles on the Includes free return 21st of September, with their first bus travel to the home match at the Furnace against the Spectrum Arena from Sheffield Sharks on the 6th October. Uni or town centre This season the Heat are Britain’s sole representatives in European competition, indeed the first British Next home game: team in Europe since the 2003-2004 Picture courtesy of Andy Bowler season. Keeping a core of their most influential players including “captain fantastic” Mike Martin and The Furnace at the Guildford Spectrum and support your local Saturday 6th Oct BBL Championship Most Valuable Player for the 2006-2007 team in what promises to be another exciting and rewarding Sheffield Sharks season Brian Dux, as well as augmenting the team with some season for the Guildford trailblazers. Tip-Off 7pm shrewd signings, coach Paul James seems well prepared to lead his team towards another season of success. So get down to www.guildfordheat.com Surrey Seek More Goals

BY TOM FOLEY anyone wanting to get involved with the biggest sports club looking to improve their game and play at the highest possible MENS FOOTBALL at the University should look out for our stand and sign up level or simply for those wanting to knock a ball about with at the Freshers Fayre. The football club has a fantastic social friends, the University of Surrey Men’s Football Club is the THE 2006/ 2007 SEASON was a prolific one for the side, with regular organised events and the end-of-season place to do it. University of Surrey Men’s Football club, collecting no less European tour that promises so much for this year. For those than 4 trophies, including for only the second time since being elected into the league; the GWAFL Premier Division Championship. This was paired with the GWAFL League Cup on a memorable day in May at the “Fortress Varsity”. The club also took with them back to the Varsity the Premier Division Sportsmanship award and the Club Secretary of the Year award. The season also saw both the First Team and the Reserves reach the semi- finals of the Surrey County FA Junior Cup, with the Reserves losing in the final minute of extra- time! In BUSA, the First narrowly missed winning their Division, which would surely have made it an unprecedented season, whilst the Reserves finished second in their group. We also fielded 3 more teams in BUSA and our 3’s, 4’s and 5’s ended in the lower half of their respective divisional league tables. This season the club is looking to go from strength to strength in both the Wednesday BUSA season, competing against other Universities and the Saturday GWAFL Leagues, competing against local teams. The club has 4 teams competing in BUSA leagues and 3 teams competing in the GWAFL. We will be hosting trials throughout the coming weeks and barefacts www.ussu.co.uk/barefacts 17 September 2007 SPORT 31 Football Talk BY MATT CHEETHAM term; ‘Second Season Syndrome’. SPORTS EDITOR Wigan and West Ham showed last season the difficulties of recapturing unexpected success, both dropped into a relegation fight after top half finishes the year before. In Welcome… previous years, Nottingham Forest 1993/4, Charlton 1999/00, WELCOME BACK TO Surrey and to Barefact’s interactive Ipswich 1999/00, Middlesbrough 1994/5 and Manchester Football Talk section. Send in any thoughts or ideas on the City 2001/02 have all suffered at the hands of ‘second season beautiful game to [email protected] and lets get those syndrome’. Others have too, but those are the worst cases. debates rolling once again this year…That painful, barren Ipswich were relegated in the 1999/00 season having finished summer spell is over, football is well and truly back, and within 5th the season before, they fell thirteen league places. a mere few weeks arguments are already raging… Blackburn seem to be the masters of avoiding this, twice overhauling admirable first efforts. In fourteen seasons only Summer Acquisitions… four times has a promoted side improved on their first season The transfer market’s what keeps football fans going over in the Premiership. Twice this has been Blackburn, in 1991/92 the summer and there has been plenty of action once again. 4th - 2nd and 2000/01 10th - 6th (Derby and Birmingham Manchester United have proved to be the big spenders, have also achieved this feat). Combining those team’s that splashing out meaty sums of money on messrs. Hargreaves, also feel Chris Hutchings at Wigan lacks first hand experience have lost ground, 72 league places have been dropped at an Tevez, Nani and Anderson. Chelsea for once seem to have and insight into top level management, whilst I’m not too sure average of 4 places by every team in their second season. ditched the big spending image and picked up some crafty about Lawrie Sanchez’s purchases this summer, the amount of Hence if Reading were to drop this season - according to free transfers. With not a penney spent on Sidwell, Pizarro players he has bought in attracts extra attention, and he will stats - it would only be to mid-low table obscurity, with the and in particularly Ben Haim, few can match Jose Mourinho’s be under even more pressure to succeed. Those three are possibility of being dragged into a potentially open relegation shrewdness. Other notable captures have been those of my favourites. Also as a dark horse Martin Jol’s management battle. Manchester City under Sven Goran Eriksson. Few can match is being heavily criticised recently and I feel he is not being Will Steve Coppell and Reading be able to avoid the dangers Sven’s club management success and he is already proving a backed at boardroom level (however were he to depart of a hangover after last season and improve on things? hit in the Premiership so far. The purchases of Elano, Bojinov, from White Hart Lane this would be hugely unjust, and an Petrov and Bianchi have been bought at outrageously good unbelievably bold decision for Spurs to make, after two very England Frailties… prices when you compare it to the prices of similar English successful seasons under the Dutchman’s charge) Despite at last a bit of success (this was sent off to the players on the market. Race for the Title? Despite a stuttering start, Manchester printers after Israel but before the Russian game) it has come On receiving criticism for not buying English players United will pull it together eventually. The Champions do look to attention that England have a basic flaw at the back. Rio Sven brought up an interesting point that if any of those strangely shaky thus far, and despite all the reinforcements, Ferdinand and John Terry still haven’t gelled together despite players were English their value would have been doubled there is a hollow look to the newly strengthened depth in boasting an impressive haul of over a hundred caps between at least. This is a valid point, English internationals do seem their squad without Rooney and Ronaldo. Personally I feel them. A reason for this is that centre back pairings are all to have an inflated value. At £4.7 million Martin Petrov is Chelsea have a better all-round squad, but they will feel about partnerships and within that partnership there are exceptional value for money, expect fireworks from him this the force of the African Nation’s cup, as will Arsenal. The different roles. As Tony Adams recently alluded to, both Terry season. Elano has been playing regularly for Brazil over the Gunners surely cannot call another season a transitional one, and Rio play the same role at club level. For Chelsea, Terry past few months, in fact scoring at the recent international silverware must be won somewhere for such a successful plays with Carvalho. The Portuguese international is the weekend. A creative midfielder surely should have similar club over the last decade. Liverpool have impressed me all action, in your face, body on the line defender, and Terry value to someone like Wright-Phillips, Though Chelsea’s man hugely after these very early stages, Torres looks the business hangs a little deeper mopping up the pieces, Ferdinand plays would be on the market for at least £15 million, then add up front, he gives them what they have lacked over the past the similar role for United, with Vidic providing the robust, to the equation the fact that Darren Bent somehow cost seasons, a prolific finisher. Personally I still fancy United over dynamic presence. Hence for England both are hanging back Tottenham a fee rising near a giddy £20 million. This player the distance, who do you see lifting the trophy in May? too much, encouraging opponents to shoot. How many long isn’t a proven international, has never played in Europe, Relegation? In my opinion Derby have bought well enough range goals have England conceded recently? From memory; yet is more expensive then predominantly all the summer to compete at this level, and at the moment they appear Albania, Germany and there are many more. Partly this is strikers exchanged this summer, including Henry, Yakubu (the to be Premiership’s whipping boys. I feel they will return to do with the never ending Gerrard/Lampard saga, who Premiership’s two most prolific strikers over the past four to the Championship. Roy Keane’s management skills and is the aggressor etc, (again highlighting the importance of years), Toni and Babel. Returning to Elano, 25 caps, a couple Birmingham’s decent acquisitions (Kapo - £3 million snip) partnerships) but what is certainly required is for Terry to of goals, the midfielder has been labelled the new Kaka surely stands them in with a better chance. Wigan, Bolton, become that all action, risk-taker who closes down more. (despite confusingly being older than Kaka). Playing alongside Fulham, depending on how long the managers are backed He has all the qualities needed. These attackers have to be Ronaldinho and Kaka in midfield for Brazil, his signature was could be sucked into what could be an open relegation battle, pressured before they can pull that trigger. obtained for a fee less than that paid for Reo-Coker, Ashley joined by maybe Middlesbrough and even Reading. Personally Young, Owen Hargreaves and Theo Walcott in recent transfer I feel this season could be a tough one for The Royals… Send your responses to these topics and any topics you want windows. Value for money, or are the other cases examples brought up in future columns coming in, as well as any sports of extortion? Second Season Syndrome… related articles to: Who do you fee l has bought the best this summer in Since the Premiership began, teams that have won promotion terms of both value for money and actual quality? and then achieved unexpected success in their first season in [email protected] the Premiership have generally failed set the right goals and Predictions… achieve the right balance the next season. There is a very and let’s start the debates rolling once again. I’m going to throw a few theories out there to help the difficult balance to find, and excluding Blackburn Rovers, a responses off… club seemingly big enough, or just managed well enough to Any general enquiries should be directed to either Matt Cheetham First managerial casualties? With such huge boots (literally) cope with all the pressures of returning to top flight football, or Anthony Hanson (Sports Editors). to fill, Sammy Lee has got his hands full at Bolton. Personally I clubs generally are hit with the familiar sounding football [email protected] barefacts 32 SPORT 17 September 2007 Blood, Sweat and Beers BY DOMINIK BYRNE

THE UNIVERSITY OF Surrey Rugby Club is a friendly, developing club which caters for all players of all standards, with men’s and women’s sides; from those who have never played, to highly experienced county and club players. With this spectrum of players both our 1st and 2nd teams will be able to develop in standard. Our teams compete in the University competition BUSA, with the First Team competing in the South Eastern BUSA 2A Division and the Second Team in the South Eastern BUSA 4A Division. The two main aspects with this club are player development, along with team development. So less experienced players gain experience by training with high standard players to gain that vital experience. There is also coaching from a top quality coach. As well as having two ever-strengthening teams we also have links with two clubs in the area of Surrey who run at two different standards; Esher, a club for those playing at an experienced high level, and Stoke Park Rugby club, for those who want extra games at a lower level and slower pace. Secondly Surrey Rugby Club is huge on the social front, with 2 social sectaries, Warwick and Taffy, organising events throughout the year and especially during the World Cup the year is a Wednesday night with a pub crawl that ends up in size to strengthen the foundations of the club. For all the Games in the coming month, with many of the important in the “Union”. However many different kinds of social events information you need click onto the University of Surrey games being shown in the “HRB” where the rugby club will will be being held throughout the year, so new and old players Rugby Club Website www.ussu.co.uk/rugby, or contact the be holding competitions for prizes, and many many drinking just look out for the information on all events coming soon. chairman Dominik Byrne on 07765825418 . games. This will be especially for all those England and Home Inside the next year the club is hoping to gather players to Nation Games. The normal night for social events throughout strengthen and develop both squads and make the club bigger [email protected] Flicks, Tricks and Sticks BY THE HOCKEY CLUB of ALL standards are more than welcome, so whether you Such as Bambi’s infamous knock and fluff and the many other are going to be the new star player for the Men’s 1st XI, just drunken tales we have racked up over the years, earning club WELCOME TO SURREY on behalf of the Hockey Club! We fancy giving our beloved sport a go, or want to be one of our members names such as Victim, Jonny and Sledge. all hope you had an amazing summer and are ready to start many social members we would all love to meet you. Look out for us at Freshers Fayre, turn up to training, or just having the time of your life. As you may have already heard (or seen if you have made come up and say hi if you see us around and let’s get started The Hockey Club treats the games on the pitch just as it to Chancellors or the Varsity Centre) Surrey Hockey has on another great year! seriously as the games off the pitch; we play hard and make quite a reputation. Ask any of the bar staff on campus and sure we party harder. The size of our club means that we they will tell you that it’s Hockey who carry on long after the have two Men’s teams, a Women’s team and a mixed team all other teams have gone home. That’s a reputation we intend [email protected] playing at different levels in both the Surrey Open Leagues to maintain, hopefully with your help. and the BUSA Inter-University Championships. We train Chances are you have heard some fairly twice a week at the Varsity centre, 6pm on both Tuesdays and gruesome tales of University sports teams Sundays with matches on Wednesdays and Saturdays. Players initiation ceremonies. Ours are nothing to A polite notice worry about; you will be pleased to hear that it’s the committee members who get the raw deal. That said it’s safe to say that your alcohol tolerance is going to increase...dramatically, as you try to learn the rules to all of our consumption Once you’re done reading this issue of barefacts, please recycle it. games. You can use the recyling bins in your halls, or the It really doesn’t take long to feel like one of ones located in most departments. Thank you! the club, helped by the socials we already have planned. Before you know it you will have The deadline for the next issue is Friday 5th October. more new numbers in your phone than you Issue 1113 therefore should be out on campus at the beginning of Week 6! know what to do with. So come and try your hand at hockey, what ever your level, have a go at our games and laugh at our stories. barefacts. be heard.