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FAITH IN REAL LIFE 0 DECEMBER 2019 $5.00

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Holy night How the Christmas story calls Catholics to action In ISSUe NEW BOOKS FROM U.S. CATHOLIC • Vol. 84, No. 12 • December 2019 AVE MARIA PRESS cover story 33 Sounding Board Dreaming of a green Christmas by Susan Salaz Is your Christmas shopping hurting ATHOLIC Catholic Hipster: THE The Flowing Grace the planet? IIIPSrER: of Now c?’4&/ The Next Level FLOWING How Some Awesomely Encountering Wisdom Hw5*~ Obscure Stuff Helps Us Live GRACE through the Weeks 4 In Person Nun for all by Rosie McCarty 0 -. Ob.0*050M Our Faith with Passion of the Year / Hdp.U.L... ONO Sister Ann Durst works to bring justice for TOMMY TIGHE MACRINA WIEDERKEHR, O.S.B. ESCOUN EEING WISO ‘~ ~ immigrants facing crisis at the border. 224 pages, $15.95 SHE VaLES OFT U 256 pages, $16.95 MACRINA WIFDE°~’E~- P

“Belongs on the shelf of any Catholic.” “Beauti I lessons of the heart.” 24 —Claire Swinarski —Joyce Rupp Author of Girl, Arise! Author of Anchors for the Soul Feature Holy families •.. departments Creator of The Catholic Feminist podcast by Amanda Hendler-Voss The Holy Family’s flight from Egypt parallels the 4 Editors’ Note journey of modern-day migrants. joc bramic,S.J. 5 You May Be Right B EC 0 M INC WOMEN 8 Catholic Tastes hurch oney Feature Awaken Adven )~t~’~ by Father John 9 Signs of the Times

0*70 AN WKR~0 1 Christman, S.S.S. 40 Reviews ~Eij’~ CH~’It Here are four art meditations 50 Eye of the Beholder for the Advent season. ChurchMoney Abide in the Heart Becoming Women Exalted 12 MICHAEL WHITE of Christ of the Word SONJACOPBITI columns AND TOM CORCORAN JOE LARAMIE, Si. SARAH CHRISTMYER 192 pages, $16.95 224 pages, $16.95 160 pages, $14.95 160 pages, $15.95 10 The Examined Life Poem Spheres 1 Father Bryan Massin gale RECLAIMING CAThOLIC by Fred Dings THE REAL CHRISTMAS STORY HISTORY SERIES UPDATED EDITIONS EDITED BY MIKE AQUILINA BY LISA M. HENDEY 38 Culture in Context Expert Witness Mix and match 1 Pamela Hill Nettleton BLESSEDLY SEEN P~IE ~ an interview with Samira Mehta t~An HURCH A BflOX Interfaith families celebrate the holidays in unique 42 Margin Notes - ~OMAN SAINTS HANDBOOK and meaningful ways. Kevin Clarke -~ MPIRE eat (‘atholi A SCHISM PRISM ~ ~ ‘moms - illoni~ 4~~’ Qen 43 At Home with our Faith 60~ Essay Upstairs, downstairs church 29 ~‘ Kr~THRYN Annemarie Scobey-Polacheck WHIJAXER by Sister Rhonda Miska, O.P. HO, HO ... HOLY During the holidays, community blossoms Virgin, The Church and Live Big, A Book of Saints outside the sanctuary. 47 Testaments Mother, Queen the Roman Empire Love Bigger for Catholic Moms Alice Camille (301-490) ROBERT L FASTIGGI KATHRYN 352 pages, $18.95 ‘TIS THE SEASON and MICHAEL O’NEILL 192 pages, $17.95 WHITAKER The Handbook Essay A great gift 31 49 Glad You Asked 192 pages, $17.95 The Early Church 160 pages, $15.95 for Catholic Moms (33-313) by Jessie Bazan Emily Sanna 256 pages, $17.95 Let your words be made flesh. 160 pages, $16.95 WHO WAS REALLY AT THE NATIVITY?

cover: Henry Ossawa Tanner Flight into Egypt (1923), Look for these titles wherever books and eBooks are sold. C A~ F. Wikimedia commons. Visit avemariapress.com for more information. expert ess Samira Mehta

I- •• • Samira Mehta Mix and match Assistant professor of women and gender studies and Interfaith families are shaping their holiday celebrations Jewish studies, University of in new and meaningful ways. Colorado Boulder Author, Beyond Chrismukkah: ~~1~ The Christian-Jewish Interfaith Family in the United States How common are interfaith families ~ (The University of North Carolina families, she says, because of lunch with a friend. Her in the United States? Press, 2018) S amiraclassmate,MehtaanstartedEpiscopalstudyingseminarian,contemporaryhad recentlyinterfaithmet a That is a complicated question. Studies -.. estimate, for example, that approximately teenage boy preparing for both his bar mitzvah and confir -, mation, and her friend expressed frustration with the lack of 50 percent of American Jews marry peo resources available to interfaith families in similar situations. ple who are not Jewish. But this number Mehta, now an assistant professor of varies, because it’s hard to get sociologists Jewish studies and women and gender to agree on who counts as a Jew. studies at the University of Colorado In the book American Grace: How Boulder, started researching “what Religion Unites and Divides Us (Simon happens when people have religious & Schuster), Robert Putnam and David needs and desires that don’t match what Campbell estimate that one third of their institutional authorities want them American marriages are interfaith. to do.” She became fascinated by how Pew did its own study and found that 4 in 10 marriages in the past decade are interfaith families reinterpret religious Courtesy ot Samira Mehta rituals. The result was her new book, interfaith. These numbers are changing Beyond Chrismukkah: The Christian-Jewish dramatically: The number of interfaith Interfaith Family in the United States marriages in the 1960s is significantly lower than interfaith marriages in 2010. These studies are also tailored for Why write about him one on one. At their first meeting, (The University of North Carolina Press). But these kinds of study define inter an American demographic that’s more interfaith families? the kid asked, “Is this going to be as much In her book, Mehta describes how faith marriages in a very particular way: interested in nuances among Christian- During graduate school I became inter- work as preparing for my bar mitzvah? interfaith couples in previous generations marriages between mainline Protes ity. They count marriages between Prot- ested in the question of what happens Because that was a real pain in the neck, were often asked to choose one religion. tants, evangelical Protestants, Catholics, estants and Catholics as interfaith but when people have religious needs and but at least there was a huge party. But if A Catholic and a Jew, for example, had Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists, Jews, and not marriages between a Reform Jew and beliefs that don’t match up with what there’s no huge party for my confirma to raise their child as either Catholic or sometimes religious “nones.” So, for an Orthodox Jew—religious traditions the institutional authority says to do. tion, I don’t want to do as much work.” Jewish: There was no middle ground. example, if someone who is a member of with just as many, if not arguably more, When does the institution bend? When My friend thought to himself, “Oh However, Mehta says, although this the Presbyterian Church (USA), which differences. Not to mention the fact that do people? When do they go along with no, now what do I do?” He realized that might have been the dominant teaching is a mainline Protestant denomination, Hinduism and Islam are not monoliths what they’re being told to do? When do he knows the rabbi who performed this of both Christian and Jewish religious marries someone who is a member of the but are treated as such in this context, they go rogue and make their own deci- bar mitzvah, so there were questions communities, in reality families were Presbyterian Church of America, an evan In addition, a marriage between sions in other ways? about what confirming this kid would combining religious traditions and rais gelical denomination, that counts as an someone who attends Mass daily and a A friend of mine who’s an Episcopal do to the relationship between the ing their children in a way that drew from interfaith marriage. But if a Presbyterian lapsed Catholic won’t show up as inter- seminarian told me about a kid who church and the synagogue in question. both traditions to form a unique religious Church (USA) member marries someone faith in these studies. But these marriages came to him for confirmation classes. Also, what was going on for this family? identity. Nowhere, Mehta says, is this who belongs to the United Church of might well have just as many differences His family had never attended church What did they think a bar mitzvah was? negotiation more visible than during the Christ, those are both mainline denomi as one between a lapsed Catholic and a regularly, but they wanted their son to be What did they think confirmation was? December holidays. nations and are not counted as interfaith. secular Jew. confirmed. My friend agreed to meet with Why did they want to do both?

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about how he always loved celebrating Christmas with his wife, but then he looks at his daughter and says, “What does it mean that she grows up to love Christmas too? Does that mean she Families can hold different isn’t Jewish? Now I think about getting a tree and I see my grandfather rising theologies and rituals in tension. up from his grave and having another heart attack.” This scene depicts a real fear in Judaism. It’s such a small religion, and it’s always the minority. So if Jews celebrate other religions’ traditions, will that cause them to assimilate and When my friend tried to find often care a lot about the holiday tradi die out? resources to help, the only ones that tions that happen in the home. Even if As interfaith marriage began to rise existed were trying to talk people someone doesn’t believe that the only in the 1980s, Reform Judaism reached a historically low point. Many Reform out of doing things like this. Noth way to God is through Christ, they Chrismukkah was first invented by the television show The O.C., ing addressed what was going on for might still passionately want a Christ Jewish families didn’t speak much but it quickly spread to the popular imagination. these families. mas tree. Or if they don’t have one, they Hebrew or celebrate many of the Jewish When he told me about this, I got discover that they get depressed around holidays. What marked homes as Jew really interested in the work these the holidays. ish wasn’t the presence of Jewish ritual families imagined religious rituals were Similarly, for many people who but the absence of Christian ritual. Did people obey the rabbis in didn’t look all that different from those certain fig doing for their family, child, and corn grew up Jewish, December can feel like It wasn’t having a Shabbat dinner or this way? of many nonpracticing Christians. different. But overall Hanukkah• munities. It was really important for a time when the entire country sort of lighting Shabbat candles, but rather not People pushed against this idea from We all know lots of Americans importa me to answer these questions in a way gets together to say, “You’re not actu celebrating Christmas. the very beginning. I came across a let who don’t go to church or even think year. It’s m that didn’t presuppose the family was ally a real American.” All of a sudden At this point in history, if interfaith ter in the American Jewish Archives of themselves as Christian but who holiday to wrong. Every religious community— they are outsiders, as the entire country couples wanted a rabbi to perform from a man writing to the head of one still celebrate Christmas. They may no Jewish, Catholic, Protestant believes celebrates something they don’t partici their wedding, many would have to of the main Reform governing bodies. talk about Advent or the birth of the can their rituals and rites are important pate in. Of course there are some Jews promise to have a Jewish home. This He’s married to a Christian woman and Christ child, but they have a tree, pres day and accomplish particular theological who love Christmas, who go to the mall meant giving up Christmas. Rabbis writes, “We had a Jewish wedding, and ents, stockings, a big dinner, and Santa u purposes. But what does it mean if a and look at the lights and decorations would tell couples they couldn’t have the rabbi made my wife promise that we Claus. They talk about peace on Earth, family doesn’t think of confirmation, and do their own fun and meaningful a Christmas tree of their own. They wouldn’t have a Christmas tree in my goodwill toward men, Charles Dickens, ber of for example, as making a monogamous things on Christmas. But many people could visit their families and celebrate house.” His wife’s family is in Europe, and all that. Some American Jews were ti commitment to a particular religious feel alienated. They want their home to Christmas outside the home, but they so they can’t go visit over the holidays, doing the same thing. tradition? This family might not think feel like a sanctuary where they don’t could not celebrate at home. The argu and he says that she gets very sad and Where does Chrismukkah of rituals as meaning what the church have their noses rubbed in this holiday ment was that celebrating Christmas at depressed around Christmas because What about Hanukkah? Can it come from? says they mean, but that doesn’t make in which they don’t participate. home would confuse their children and she can’t celebrate. He also points out replace Christmas for Jewish Chrismukkah was i their thought inherently less valid. disrupt their Jewish identities. Instead, that they live on an entirely Jewish interfaith families? television show The O.C. One of the How do these tensions affect parents were told to tell their kids that street and everyone around them has a Many American Jews celebrate characters is half Jewish and half Chris Why are the December holidays holiday practices? they were “helping our family celebrate Christmas tree. Hanukkah as a children’s holiday. Adults tian, and he describes Chrismukkah as such a sticking point for thirtysomething was a television show in their holiday.” In fact, many American Jews in don’t tend to exchange presents, but “eight days of presents follo interfaith families? the 1980s and early ‘90s that portrayed This is changing: Some rabbis will the late ‘70s and early ‘80s celebrated families will give kids one present each day of many presents.” On Many interfaith families think of an interfaith couple. In the show’s first focus more on what a family is adding to Christmas like a secular American night for eight nights. Sometimes t themselves as fairly secular: They don’t season, a couple is getting ready to cel form a Jewish home rather than on the holiday. They had presents, trees, and a bigger present the first or last nigh. necessarily care about going to church ebrate their first Christmas after having Christian practices they are giving up. But maybe Santa Claus. There were Jews Some families do theme nights whe or synagogue. But it turns out they a baby. The husband says something some rabbis still insist on this today. who held secular Christmas parties that they’ll give a book, for example, on a

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no one in the entire She kept a kosher kitchen. Ned, I’d been waiting for something like that But then many of the women in moral and theological universes. The world who celebrates and any of their kids who wanted to go, to happen in these interviews. the local Mormon community had a more deeply immersed they are in those Chrismukkah for real. would go to Friday night services, and A lot of the people I talked to are private Mormon circle of blessing and stories, the more comfortable they are 0 I certainly don’t want she would stay home and cook an elabo secular Jews, lapsed Catholics, or post- laying of hands before her bat mitzvah. in those religious worlds. ‘Be~ft. to say that no interfaith rate Shabbat dinner. Then they would Protestants. They don’t necessarily It was private and not sanctioned by the But it’s hard to be totally immersed couple throws a crazy read out loud as a family after Shabbat have deep theological commitments official Church of Jesus Christ of Latter- in two religious faiths witho ChkioJ7uLIf1~ Chrismukkah-themed dinner, although often they read Tolk in the first place. Many of them end day Saints in the area, but it shows how effort on all sides. In my family, for THE holiday party for their ien. On Sunday morning Mary Helene up as religious nones, some join really families can hold different theologies example, I grew up with parents who CHRISTIAN-JEWISH friends. People abso would go to Mass with whatever kids liberal religious spaces, and others end and rituals in tension. were Unitarian and Hindu. I converted INTERFAITH FAMILY lutely do that. But the wanted to go to Mass with her. Ned up being sort of “High Holiday Jews” or IN THE holiday doesn’t seem to would stay home and make brunch for “Chreaster Catholics.” UNITED STATES represent what I found after Mass. Other times, people have stronger among the people I Part of keeping kosher is that you religious commitments but not strong studied. can’t have meat and dairy together. So dedications to truth claims. If you’re What most people do on Christmas Eve, the family would do an evangelical Christian and believe in Religion isn’t just about is celebrate Hanukkah this elaborate dairy meal that was basi the marrow of your bones that people first and then Christmas. cally a kosher version of the Feast of who don’t accept Jesus Christ as their theology or faith, it’s also about ~ ‘:-•- Most of the time, the two the Seven Fishes without shellfish and personal savior are going to hell, then a cultural imagination. holidays don’t happen at that included a büche de Noel—because you probably won’t fall in love with and Samira K. Mehta the same time. Hanukkah buttercream frosting without butter is marry a Jew. is based on a lunar calen not the most delicious thing in the world. One of the families I interviewed dar, and it moves around. Then they would do a big meat meal on was a Jewish-Mormon couple. They This means that even Christmas Day. Everyone would go to work really hard to make sure that their families who celebrate midnight Mass together, including Ned. daughters have real access to both Mor Can someone really belong to to Judaism as an adult and had to put both tend to keep the hol Their family was super serious mon and Jewish worldviews, including two faiths? a lot of energy into being very good at The idea of Chrismukkah spread. idays relatively discrete. If they’re lighting about celebrating the traditions of each the theological underpinnings of those There’s a group based at 0 . - . -I Chrismukkah was one of TIME maga a menorah in the shadow of a Christmas faith, but even they didn’t celebrate traditions. Many times, people ask them rick’s Church in Chicago that , II zine’s buzzwords of the year in 2004. tree, it’s because they put the Christmas Christmas and Hanukkah at the same if that’s confusing to their kids. Their resources for Catholic-Jewish ‘ :• • - There’s a coffee table book about how tree up the day after Thanksgiving. time. They just had a very elaborate response is: “Life is confusing.” Spiritual They assume that you’re a member of sum - . to celebrate it called Chrismukkah: The Most people make latkes, spin the kosher Christmas celebration. growth is often hard. The mother of this a parish or synagogue, so they d ‘ : •• Merry Mish-Mash Holiday Cookbook. dreidel, have Hanukkah gelt, exchange family is a Mormon and a feminist, and replacc congregational community, You can’t send a kid simultane There have been Chrismukkah-themed whatever presents they give, and so on. So much of what you talk about in that’s hard for her every day. There are but they provide resources for life c I ~T• —. cards and some marketing around it. And then on December 24 or 25 and your book is how interfaith families some Catholic feminists who find being events. They have a book on ho . ‘. I.. I There’s even Chrismukkah kitsch January 6, depending on their tradition, navigate religious practices. both Catholic and feminist challenging a Jewish-Catholic baptism, for example. inbo - . y i that includes things such as gingerbread they celebrate Christmas Eve, Christ But what about when theologies on a regular basis. But we don’t say you There is growing recognition th. -I - I • houses made of matzo. I think that’s a mas, and the Epiphany separately. collide? How do families negotiate can’t be both. We have a lot of ideologies are families trying to do just that. th- • . little bit batty: Matzo isn’t even associ those differences? we hold in tension. The Jewish-Mormon family I talked religious education, but then that’s all ated with Hanukkah. It’s not delicious How do real-life interfaith families At the very end of my project I inter When her oldest daughter was to is putting huge amounts of energy youdowiththe or sturdy. It’s super crumbly. A ginger navigate the holidays? viewed a Hindu-Catholic couple. I preparing for her bat mitzvah, she had into passing on the religious and theo make that level of commit bread house should be either sturdy or There was a trailblazing interfaith happened to be visiting when their kid a meeting with the bishop in her Mor logical imaginations of two faith delicious or both. couple named Ned and Mary Helene came home from religious education • mon ward who basically told her flat out gion isn’t just about theology or faith, something. But th Rosenbaum who started an organiza on a day where they said you shouldn’t that she couldn’t be both Mormon and it’salso about a cultural imagination. too. These kids gain understanding of Do people actually celebrate tion called the Dovetail Institute in the worship any other gods. He pointed to Jewish. She came home and cried. Then Peoplehave meaningful and dynamic differentwa - Chrismukkah outside of The O.C.? 1990s. She was a very devout practicing the Hindu shrine in their dining room • she decided to become Jewish, in part relationships with the Eucharist, for They mayn. .- Most people I talked to for my book Catholic and he was a secular Jew, and asked, “What’s the deal?” because the Jewish community wasn’t example, that are woven into the fabric embodied • -‘ :- • didn’t celebrate any kind of mash-up although he became more observant The parents just looked at me, and forcing her to choose between these two of how they feel about the world. 0 I I. holiday. I don’t want to say that there’s over the course of their marriage. I sat down on their stairs and laughed. parts of her identity. faiths have stories that frame their moving through the u

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